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» 226 Failures in Communication
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I don’t see the fail here! The common sense is working just fine!
These are the old, nonabsorbent benches.
s/bent/bant/
Whatever…
5nd
this is just a regular benchless bench, move along people, nothing to see here her
This is funny, but it was a well-executed practical joke rather than a real Council sign.
That little logo at the bottom is a jester, which ought to tip you off.
We’ve all had a good laugh about it, but whoever put it there would have been gratified to see Council leader Paul Scriven’s face when he saw it…
Regards,
Councillor Joe Taylor
Sheffield City Council
I live in sheffield, I have to say, one of the things i do make myself smile is attach self adhesive brass plaques with ‘Dedicated to Tommy, what a guy’ on benches and buildings around town, its a running contest in my group of friends, almost as competative as cat tagging, or the blue bin bluff.
rofl 5nd…. ITS 5TH
More of an obvious fail…
i agree, its a fail on the person who put the sign there, thinkin that people would need to read the sign in order to know that the bench would be wet…
It IS a fail
Because someone HAS to state the obvious
Well yes, but it’s so obvious that it didn’t even needed the sign!
It’s not that obvious, what is the last time the internet was wet following periods of rain?
You’d be surprised. You ever do tech support for a rural area after a rainstorm? The internet DOES get wet.
Do not underestimate people’s idiocy and will to sue.
I have spoken.
Yeah, don’t underestimate me!
They should also have a sign to the effect of “bench may be wet after drunk guy pees on it”.
Or maybe to the effect of “Caution: bench may be wet, sticky and may cause staining after guy (possibly drunk) busts a nut on it”
Ew, disgusting!
You should use “periods of piss”, that’s the correct way to say it. Get your park lingo together!
I would also specify that it may be:
-Hot if the sun is shining directly
-Windy around the bench in periods of wind
-Sticky in Spring (periods of uncontrollable urges)
*adds ‘upon it’ right after ‘directly’*
Graffitied, following periods of vandalism
Benches may be destroyed following periods of riots
May have people sitting on it in periods of sitting.
Benches may have signs on them.
May be bloody during periods of…well, you know.
EWWWWW!!!
EWWWWW!!!
You mean after the crazy homeless guy gut’s the tame park duck and eats it like sushi?
RIGHT?
the dont eat sushi in sheffield, thats where the arctic monkeys come from!
May have the Queen on them during periods of reign.
Royal win!
No no, they have a bench just for the grafiti artists.
Yeah but someone wrote on it and wrecked it.
Now the poice have to investigate.
With our taxes money!
Don’t raise your volice at me!
hangover?
it seems we have reached the lowest level….
(Comments won’t nest below this level.)
Just out of the picture is another sign reading:
CAUTION:
“That other sign over there on the WET BENCH May Also Be WET Following Periods of Rain, (IF the Bench is WET), but then again it might not since water rolls of it fairly easily, so use CAUTION Anyway!”
PS: “The Sheffield City Council Thanks You for Reading this Possibly Wet Sign and any of the 347 other Possibly Wet Signs here in Sheffield Park.”
You assume people visiting the park all have common sense.
…and we all know how people in Sheffield are!
*has no idea, really*
I went to university in Sheffield.
Lovely place.
I hear that it is a rainy place also. Specially on parks.
Sheffield is England’s water feature.
Nope, that would be Manchester! I’m from Sheffield and have to say this doesn’t surprise me at all… not because the people are stupid but the council ceratinly may be! Nice to see we’ve acheived Failblog fame though…
*dreams of being in England…*
I hear it also. Specially after getting wet. Following periods of rain.
At least it doesn’t sound like one of those parks where you need a sign to the effect of “Thank you for your patronage in reading this sign. However, please be advised that while in the process of reading our lovely signs, someone may be picking your pockets.”
I know how people in Sheffield are, having lived there for 23 years, and some of them will benefit from signs such as these!
Im from Doncaster and to me seeing Sheffield City council mess this up is REALLY funny to me.
then again out council put Do Not Attempt to stop Drill with hand on a council issue drill
Mike
My bench is wet following periods of sex..
My sex is wet following periods of rain…
My wet is wet following periods of wet…
Periods are wet
And sticky
and redd-ish
Radish?
Carrot?
No. Period.
No period? Maybe you should get a pregnancy test then…
Hope not. I love baby carrots
what are carrot babies?
My period is wet sexing benches of follow.
Crazy going slowly am I
Me too. Following periods of wet sex.
SEX!! Just to kill it
My sex is wet. Period.
Period sex is wet.
Well, that’s obvious. Obvious fail.
I have wetsex during period…
*masturbates*
What a surprise, you masturbating on a failblog.
full stop.
You’re only happy when it rains?
(You’re only happy when it’s complicated)
And though I know you can’t appreciate it,
You’re only happy when it rains
Poetic fail.
It can’t rain all the time…
Au contraire. You ever been to Oregon?
Ever been to Vancouver?
Ever been to the Olympic Rain Forest?
The Hoh is very wet.
Every been to the plains in Spain?
Nicely done, ’specially with your name.
*applauds* Touche ATCH!
It can in england!! Weve had mass floods for two summers running
EGG: “You’re only happy when it rains”
.
Garbage, I say. Garbage.
Sheffield is in the north, what else can I say
It’d HAVE to be from West Yorkshire, wouldn’t it? ¬¬
Actually Sheffield hasn’t been part of West Yorkshire since 1974. South Yorkshire and proud! But not of our council…
Only an English City Council could produce something like this :-S
Did you misunderestimate me?
Threading FAIL.
Self fail Win!
Threading is an ancient method of hair removal which originated in India, spread to the Middle and Far East, and is now gaining popularity in Western countries. It is equally popular with both men and women in Arab countries, although the men usually just do their ears and eyebrows with thread and continue to shave the beard part of their face with a traditional safety or straight razor.
ear hair removal using thread?
Straight razor?
Like the kinds used it old barber shops for shaves and occasionally male neck lines depending upon the barber. Beginning to be a lost art.
Straight barber ?
*puzzled*
That’s a straight barber as opposed to a barber who’s pole is bent
Barbers yes. Stylists no.
raze ‘er I don’t even know ‘er
Yes, it lasts longer and less damaging to the skin than wax when it comes to your eyebrows.
This was a prank by a local artist.
Nothing to do with the council.
Beat me to it.
The irony tho.
“signs may be uncomfortable to sit on”
Please “do not” use staples for posting signs on wenches.
Please do not use staples for posting wenches on benches
Please do not staple tench to the wench on the bench.
Please do not touch the tench of the bench wench
Please do not touch whilst attempting to clench the tench of the bench wench? It may be wet after rain.
Or you hands will carry the stench of the bench wench.
Bench wench stench may be less pungent following periods of rain.
Please do not wrench away the tench the bench wench does clench, for it will cause a stench following periods of rain.
Will comment later. I’m off to lench.
(Not with the bench wench.)
You’re off to lech over the bench wenches tench?
Lench*.
Lench isn’t a word, and Meph specifically said they would not be lenching with the bench wench.
You won this time Mikey, but I will win next time! Mark my words!
What will you win? A free lench with the bench wench?
No, YO MOM LOLZX!
Oh, what happened? Oh no, my second personality attacked again!
I think I’ve won a nemesis?
Mind your head on that arch, Mikey.
Whoa, I feel like I just stepped out of a Dr. Seuss book.
Bench wench may be wet after it has rained.
On and on and ON! Does the witty banter EVER STOP??
no
Why? Should it?
Well, it does taper off drastically after I go to bed.
There is that period between midnight (my time) and…. y’know, I don’t think I get up early enough to tell you when it starts again. I did miss a lot of it today.
Looooooooove the banter!
And we missed a lot of you today Avis!
It starts up again the moment that I start posting.
♫Oh Lord It’s Hard To Be Humble When You’re Perfect In Every Way♫
*flicks coyote on the forehead* :p
You put an extra “f” in the sentence.
Who’s ever heard of such a thing as an “orehead”?
…bwuaahahahaha…!
Oreheads were a group of people with peculiar musical tastes who lived in the Dark Ages, and whose descendants are what we call “metal heads.”
Win.
Water makes stuff wet ? :O
Yes.
Except for Particle Man. When he’s in water, does he get wet, or does the water get him instead?
There is not such a thing as “Particle Man”, the smallest man ever is much bigger than a particle. Please don’t mix fiction with reality.
I refer you to ‘The Smallest of All Persons Mentioned in the Records of Littleness’ by Gaby Wood.
If you send it to me for free, I will accept!
It was actually a distraction to allow Mouse to finish their song. I like a bit of TMBG. And TMNT.
Mutant turtles? How do you prepare them? Microwave?
They’re ninjas. You can’t prepare them and you can’t prepare for them. All you can do is pray that you’re still on their good side.
Please do not mix rain water in your drink.
It might have rainbows in it.
(Let’s face it, that was inevitable.)
In Soviet Russia, the bench wets you?
May it be referring to the absorbency of the wood?
Product may be hot after cooking, this bag of peanuts was made in a factory that processes nuts on machinery that has been used to process nuts and may contain nuts.
Frozen water may be frozen.
Fail blog may fail.
But most of the time, won’t.
Eggs may contain happy faces and glasses.
This is what you get from falling asleep in Failblog…
Egg, don’t trip. Your ballet slipper is untied.
Frozen water – works like ice.
And cost less than ice.
Easier to make as well.
I’ve seen jars of peanut butter that say “may contain traces of nuts”.
It could have been “May contain traces of other nuts”, or have the same meaning. I have a bad allergy to Hazel Nuts, But peanuts are fine.
Or it could be they had a rash of angry employees that are known for their teabagging rampages.
Not a nice thought.
Huh? NUTS!!? Where? *sniffs*
Since peanuts are not nuts, the warning label is not technically incorrect.
Contains: Milk
May Contain: Soy
Drunkards may be dozing on the bench.
Do not wake up.
*hugs czuhc*
*face flushes*
*fans czuhc*
*is a fan of czuhc*
“Bench may be a Jigsaw Trap” would seem important to bring to notice…
Who uses Windows NT here?
Windows NT users do.
Hey, how do I get a fancy avatar? I want to change this crazy-blocky-greeny-abstracty-thingy!
I registered with Gravatar.com.
After you’ve done that, it may take a while for your avatars to update.
Thank you, my nemesis!
Result!
Like it.
You must be a member of the secret society and use the secret decoder ring
caution signs may be written after periods of stupidity
As opposed to other kinds of signs, which may be written *during* periods of stupidity.
Also following periods of paint.
Um, Photoshop fail?
Benches may be ashamed
following periods of fail
And not one of you noticed the jester’s hat at the bottom signifying that it’s a prank notice and nothing to do with the real council.
Lots of fail on this page, but the sign on the bench isn’t responsible for any of it.
Must be one of those “darwin award” fails… Such as “omg I spilled scalding hot coffee on me and now Im going to see McDonalds!” or those warning labels on hair dryers: Use of product in the bath tub will cause electric shock or death. xD
*going to sue*
*then going to sarah*
May be burning during periods of wild fires.
Was it Shakespeare who said to make a perfect society “first kill all the lawyers”?
One of his characters said that but not in the context of making a perfect society.
MAY be wet? Are there times when the benches are dry following periods of rain?
Benches may be dry during periods of virga.
Yes. When a very fat man sat on it during the rain. A fat man without diarrhea, of course.
Nevertheless, a grim look onto the near future of the UK. Soon people will have to be restrained to some chair and nannied by robots for the larger part of their lifes to prevent them doing something which could have consequences of any form.
i guess that little patch behind the sign would be dry..
Hoax win:
http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/Poster-joke-going-a-bench.4674514.jp
Hey, are they in for some lawsuits if it snows.
This is Britain distilled into a single sign – and not even a well-built sign, it’s just a piece of laminated paper spat out of the only colour printer in the council office. It’s a mixture of mind-numbing literal stupidity and pedantic, bureaucratic arse-covering the bloody obvious.
Couldn’t have put it better myself. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if some brain numbingly stupid individuals wrote to the council complaining about it – the same sort of people who need to be told to be careful because the coffee that they just bought at McDonald’s is hot.
bench may be wet following periods of FAIL…
Too many of the fails here are just somebody moving a sign in a store and taking a picture of it. Like the “Live Lobster” thing in the vote section.
Clearly this is to aid the mentally challenged. Does Failblog have a problem with buildings wheelchair access too?
This isn’t that funny considering that it could be somebody just making up a sign and sticking it somewhere it doesn’t belong and taking a picture of it. But whatevs i guess
“CAUTION: Bench is made of wood.
People with a wood allergy are advised not to use this bench.”
That would have been a better sign.
Common sense fail for the council. They are obviously not sure whether or not the bench will be wet after rain. may be?
epic fail..see above comments..lol
Sheffield?
Lol, I live there….I’m not tarded though…I think.
Same here, well, Rotherham, but I stay over there with family frequently. Typical Yorkshire council, though.
Wow this many comments about a wet bench!!!
Lol, I saw this sign, I live in Sheffield xD
I laaaughed.
lol i live in sheffield
YOrkshire, YOrkshire
“really?! i had no idea. is that what all those beads are, i thought it was part of the paint.” “so if i sit on it now my ass will get wet…” “well i’ll be darned!”
This is a good indication of how wet the benches may get.
NOT to be confused with a DRY RAIN.
Gah, and i live there.
In sheffield i mean, not on the bench.
Welcome to litigation Britain, thanks America lol.
sheffield ftw
i live in sheffield :O
i think ive seen that bench…
Really? I never would have guessed
wow… what a waste of paper and plastic.
I have seen a bench with that sign. Of course benches would be wet after it rains! Why else would it be wet?! I think the city (no wait…… the country), is being run by idiots.
That would explain most of the things on this blog. Investigation WIN!
ah, it warms the heart to see one’s home town featured yet again in Failblog!
And on the bench’s period no less