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Cheezburger Network Blog
First person to land on the moon was?
WELL!
… if you believe we put a man on the moon…
Hey ErickB are you goofing on Elvis?
?
Connection with REM song ?
You didn’t get the connection? It’s the end of the world as we know it!
And I feel fine!
Only when I’m walking in Memphis, with my feet off of Beale.
How far off?
about 10 feet should suffice.
too obscure of a song reference?
Not for me. I’ve been singing that damn song all day since reading your post.
My work here is done. *chuckle* Glad you know your a woman of tate
If I may digress for a moment. I have 2 of his albums and they are both incredible. The kind which you can liten to from start to finish and before long you can sing along. The melodies are rich and the lyrics poignant.
oh god that was some horrendous typing … I’m blaming current errors on the fact that I’m on my vaio and the keyboard is so small!
the secnd sentence should read:
Glad to know you are a woman of taste
And his fourth sentence sould read:
the second sentence should read:
And liten was correct???
Walking in Memphis by Lonestar?
..think about direction wonder why you haven’t now…
I always thought that line was “think about erections, wonder why you have it now.”
I like your way better…
well.. it’s certainly not to be put into a shredder….
I have a paper shredder, but this utilization never crossed my mind.
That’s because you weren’t thinking outside the box.
Are you sure you want to think about your box when shredding your privates?
Enter carefully as there may be a squirrel inside.
Well, that would explain the itching.
No, the side job for extra cash explains the itching. I told you to have that checked woman!
Damn! I forgot the picnic supplies! *applies ointment*
drunk squirrel
Hee hee…Mookie’s been trespassing again!
Or a beaver?
Hi k-k-katy!
Hey Mookie! I missed a few days, celebrated a little too much on Friday night and reaped the consequences of it the last couple of days. Ugh!
I did that too! I am done, no more drinking for me until at LEAST Thursday (maybe Wednesday) but for FOR SURE not before Tuesday (morning).
WTF is the extra for for?
*drinks*
In case one was spelled wrong?
You’re so drunk you’re typing double?
*sigh*
Me…I cannot imbibe anymore. A glass of wine just every now and then, but that’s it.
I’m not supposed to either, but I make an exception for beer and pizza night. Unfortunately B&P nights are becoming more and more frequent.
Well, I’m happy because I was able to have a glass of a perfectly lovely pinot noir with my dinner tonight!
So at first I was
, but now I’m all 
!
Dude! If I had a nickel for every time I’ve sworn off drinking…
You’d have 2 nickels?
That doesn’t make cents.
Which is technically after midnight tonight.
EXACTLY!
Why pay for shredding your privates? Skwerll Thugs will do it for free! All you have to do is open the trash bin lid and we jump right out, scamper up your leg and go to work! Our payment is your satisfaction.
I’m going to have some kind of nightmares tonight.
Isn’t this how the guy from INXS died?
Lance Armstrong!
FAIL.
Louie?
What a wonderful world.
neil….
…before me.
hehehehehe thats just what i was thinking! and i almost typed that, too!!!
you win, crow!!
It would be a GENUine reFLECTion of our respect for you!
Doin’ the Vatican Rag?
*roflle*
*blushes*
Thanks Dragon.
LOL. He won the 400,000 km time trial in the Tour de Lune.
But he’s half the man he used to be.
I hope the other half wasn’t shredded.
No, he removed it to be more aerodynamic.
Hmm that’s the same excuse I use for waxing.
Oh. Erm. Do I need an excuse?
…
I got nothing…I’ll get back to you.
Well, if there’s nothing there; then it’s too early to even consider waxing.
PS: Who is this “Erm” you refer to sometimes?
*bops Skwerlly Bob*
Little Dragonwriter, I don’t want to see you scooping up the Skwerilly Bob and bopping him on the head!
*droops*
*puts Skwerlly Bob down and pats him on the head*
…Sowwy.
Thanks loads POB! Now I’ll have that blasted summer camp ditty running through my head all night.
And the French are a bit teste about it.
Thier just jealous because he go-nads faster on a bicycle than any of them.
He sure scrotum, didn’t he?
There’s a vas deferens between us and the French.
Mons Venus inaugurated his hemicycle, how can he not beat the french?
Ooh medical knowledge too. Wanna play Doctor?
Sure! *does something with hand* Now, cough!
*Covers eyes*
Close the door at least…geez.
*cough* hmmm is that good enough? Can you see if you can do something about this swelling?
I can see that this is going to need two hands.
It drove them nuts.
NUTS?
*scampers up to investigate*
Do you feel this as the dawn turns to gray?
Mr Spoon!
He was too busy doing some dish.
It was the cow.
Ooh yes, didn’t see that one.
I was thinking Button Moon.
(With a theme tune written and sung by the best Dr Who. . .Peter Davison)
We’re off to Button Moon, we’ll follow Mr. Goon, Button Moon, Button Moon.
I see what you did there.
The best Doctor Who was definitely Tom Baker.
Agreed.
Who was the best companion then?
My favorite to look at was Leela, does that count?
Mistress. She was my favorite.
Mistress? Bringing kinky sex into it again.
Favorite companion: Lalla Ward as Ramana
Least favorite Doctor: Colin Baker
I agree with your opinion of Colin Baker. I may be one of the few people that liked Sylvester McCoy’s doctor. He wasn’t anywhere near the top of my list, but I think he was vastly underrated.
You are not alone. My opinion and yours on McCoy match. Pity so little of the second doctor’s tenure survived.
Buzz Lightyear!
Ok, Neil Armstrong… I WON, BITBYTES!
Drunk.
humm, Micheal Jackson?
Neil Armstrong, smart one!
He landed on the moon with Buzz Aldrin at 10:56 P.M. on July 20, 1969, while MiKe Collins orbited in the command module. DUH!!! U stupid.
Yes, they did land on the moon. I can prove it to you. If you don’t think they landed on the moon, you’re just a conspiracy theorist who has no brains.
Mmm. Privates.
I wonder if they charge by the inch?
I wonder if they charge by the…what’s a lot more than an inch ?
Parsec?
Light-year.
Hehe a parsec is longer
Sorry, Mookie, but your lightyear had already been made abundant by the parsec.
A square light year then!
The only abundant thing around here is FAIL!
My mistake, should have been “redundant”.
I prefer to be abundant, thank you.
Overflowing even.
You must now exit stage left.
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
OK, I’ll ask the Oxford Dictionary and Webster’s to make the necessary adjustments.
While you’re at it, could you tell them to spell phoenix P-H-E-O-N-I-X?
NO!
(The only part of that song I disagree with…)
My privates.
I wonder what is supposed to go in place of that ellipsis.
Shred your privates and win a Darwin Award?
Any other idea?
Shred you privates and make steak tartare!
Or puree.
Shred your privates and get court-martialed!
Insult to injury, really.
Sounds like a Capital Idea!
I do like the fact that they offer color copies for a keepsake.
Also faxing. But you might want to take care of that first.
But you could fax a color copy of the end result, share it with all your friends and family. Just like AT&T.
Yes there will be a lot of red in the photos but your family will still love the effects. Lots of red just in time for holidays
Poinsettias are red
Violets are blue
If they shred your privates
You will be too
Maybe they would get more business if it said shred your ex-husband’s privates.
OUCH!!!! lmao
No causal effect, trust experience on this one.
This is great. Low cost birth control. No doctor needed
I don’t know any funny comment or pun to add…
I know what you mean… I’ll ask God Coffee in a while. It tells me things…
Oh, dark master, speak to me…
Regan Roslund?
No, thank you, I rather like my vagina non-shredded.
Who said you have options?
And after all you never know it could be pleasurable.
No, the Shredder is for the men, what YOU want is the Stretcher.
It must take balls to erect a sign like this.
Roebling: Behold, rising before you, the greatest erection on the continent… the greatest erection of the age… the greatest erection on the planet!
It’s monolithic.
It must take balls to erect a sign like this.
shredded balls?
I prefer my privates minced.
Spiced nicely and added to a holiday pie?
Aahhh…
There’s nothing like waking up to the sweet smell of cardamom, nutmeg, and testicles baking in the morning.
Oh, here’s one of my trademark recipes!
Okay, first, you need to get out some pie crust. Lay it down (no pun intended) in a circular tin pan. Then, get some melting cherries. Spice it up with a dash of cinnamon, sugar, and testicles. Put a think layer of penis over the cherry spice mixture, and then cover it with more pie crust. Cut some little slits (no put intended, surprisingly) in the top, and then sprinkle on some more of the testi-spice mixture. Back in the oven on 350 for 25 minutes, and you have a Cherry Genital Pie!
Mmm… just like mom used to make!
Testi-Spice? Didn’t she replace Ginger for a while?
I beleive that Testi-Spice was the raping cousin of Scary Spice. I believe Testi works at some motel chain now…
*Makes a puzzled face while trying to figure out which of my two beliefs was a FAILed spelling*
‘i before e, except after c’ and several other exceptions. It’s a bit weird, I never know which way they go either.
And sometimes ‘y’.
Y? Because we like you!
M O U S E
(Mouseketeers won’t nest below this level)
Patty Duke won’t rant below this level.
Frankie Avalon won’t sing below this level.
Skwerlls prefer to Nest Above This Level
The Shredder=Mouse?
As in TMNT?
*Works best with ex-husband genitals. It adds the taste of sweet revenge >:D
Lorena? Is that you?
She came back for seconds.
It’s a rare man who can serve up seconds of that particular dish.
Oh I think after the firsts, he wasn’t rare. He was well done.
I believe the emote you’re looking for is
I been mounting them in my trophy room…
Kerning Fail.
I shred my privates every other morning. It’s just like toenails, you trim them, and before you know it they’ve grown too long.
*scootches away from long privates*
Er, you prefer the stubby ones?
I think anything over 10 inches is a waste.
I think most over 6 inches are exaggerated.
Or, as I like to phoenetically put it in a sentence: Egg’s badger ate Ted!
badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom…
badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom…
badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom…
Ahh a snake, a snake! Snake, oh there’s a snake!
This oddly makes me intrigued. Go forth.
and multiply?
If you must.
As someone very inspirational to me once said: I like you. I like sex!
Um… thank you?
Please, no furry porn here.
I like a porno!
I’m sure you do.
No. Please do not breed.
Are you saying that they are inflated?
Man inches are somewhat different from actual inches.
about a lightyear…
Hey, I’m going to be off-topic: What are your opinions on my avatar? Does it make me seem tough, scary, hard-core? Your opinions are gladly accepted. *Folds paws on laptop base while happily waiting for an answer*
I’m intimidated but then again, I was attacked by my cat in the middle of the night once and had to get rid of him.
I think its the intimidating stare you have going on there …
I wonder if it was really a cat in the middle of the night or her ex-husband trying to get some midnight sex
No, I would never get rid of a man for trying to get some midnight sex. That would be blasphemy. I’m a 2:00 a.m. kind of girl but midnight works. And no one needs an alarm clock when I am around.
How nice of you to avoid the blasphemy.
What was the name of this religion of yours again?
I must say, Ryannon, I love the new pic. That is you, no?
Yes, and thank you. Got tired of the sunglasses.
I’m still seeing the sunglasses…
Clear your browser cache.
Ah yes, thank you.
Bitte schön
Holy Gawd it’s 11am…way past bedtime. Nite all.
Nighty-nite ATCF.
Oh, I think he’ll be claring his browser cache after he sees Ryannon’s new avatar, if you know what I mean!
I like.
*masturb… nevermind*
I have to say that I had never seen anybody using a cat as avatar!
But in your particular case, IMHO it makes you seem cautious.
Would that make it a catvatar?
I prefer to call them avatcat
I prefer to drink aquavit.
catavar?
cadaver?
I think it’s a cute little curious kitty.
Maybe you’re watching an epic fail with utter cat indifference.
Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do. Maybe I will shred my privates just to prove that it I can. I’ll show you. I’ll show you all.
*watches*
*makes popcorn*
No self-respecting movie-goer watches Jackass without popcorn.
Forgive me, the voices in my head just got louder for a few brief seconds, and my jazz hands with tourette fingers took over my keyboard. My nads are still intact thank te good lord.
Voices in your head is normal.
Its when you hear voices in your knees you should panic.
I’m not at that stage yet, but I suspect it won’t be long until I am.
I think i like it. It’s mean and cute. With a pinch of skepticism.
The cat has one of those long distance intense stares that they do when looking over your shoulder or behind you. The stare that says,” Be very very still and IT won’t eat us!” The stare that makes you worry about what horrid thing is quietly coming down the previously empty hallway. Then as soon as you begin to worry the cat goes back to licking it’s butt.
It’s a cute little kitty! ^_^ *skritches ears*
In the words of ICHC: BONZAI!
Shoot. That was supposed to be a reply to Ryannon.
Hmm… Your Bonzai! came up a little short…
That’s never a good thing.
That would be a bonzai win. Aren’t they supposed to be short?
Why yes, I believe you’re right. In that case (back to Emygirl), short shoot, FTW!
Bamboo shoots, he scores and the forest goes crazy!
The panda eats, shoots and leaves.
The panda eats sheets and loos. No wonder they never feel like mating, toilet breath.
I prefer The Transitive Vampire myself.
Oh dear God, I’ve been on here too long. My eyes are blurry and I’ve just spent five minutes trying to figure out what a transvestite vampire was.
it’d be like the rocky horror picture show…just, you know…if he had fangs…
….that was probably the scariest mental image i’ve ever had….
jesus christ i hate this thing…my first two didn’t show up…and now they did…GRRRR
it’s dr. frank-n-furter with fangs
Sign was intentional, and was win. Fail labeler is fail, fail label is fail, failblog is fail. Nice work. We wouldn’t have any fail here at all without your tireless efforts to fail all over the win.
Your comment was intentional, and yet it still miserably, utterly, completely fails.
Total logic fail.
(Thanks, love. *smooch!*)
Your comment was intentional, and yet it still miserably, utterly, completely fails.
Total logic fail.
AAAAAaaaannnd, total “reply to comment” fail on me!
*sticks head in pudding bukkit*
AHHHHH!!!! MY BAAAAAALLLLSSSSS!!!!!
This fail gives me the willies….
Well, they provide a service by which you can be rid of your willy…
…Free willy?
Well at least you have some now.
I think it should be a “slogan fail” and not a “privacy fail”. The fail doesn’t have anything to do with the company’s business practices (how else would you know what services were offered?). The real fail is from the slogan, “Shred your privates”.
Please read this carefully.
It is a service to shred PRIVATE documents.
For the sake of preserving ones PRIVACY.
The sign reading “Shred Your Privates” is what we are laughing about.
The sign is indeed the fail.
damn I read pirates >.<
How is this a fail? They obviously wrote the sign that way on purpose. Total win.
I don’t get the people on this site. Half of the “fails” are fake or done on purpose to be funny or grab attention. In other words, half the time, this site fails at identifying fails.
failblog = FAIL
its still funny so what does it matter? I personally like the sign, very funny and an interesting decoration for my house =)
They sell herpes. The itch will certainly make you want to shred your privates
sounds painful
Ouch, scary!
http://www.anonymity.at.tc
i think that the banner alone is funny, it doesnt have to be a fail about privacy
I bet as soon as they put it up, they’re all like “DAMMIT! JIMMY TAKE IT DOWN!”
Is this in Pennington, NJ?
haha, yes it is in Pennington
Owey…………
why does everybody put friken negative marks on every one, these are pretty good
…but I like my privates!!
Would’ve been better if they said “Profession Private Shredding”
“Shred your privates” is a fail in itself. I say……XD
Its not a fail if it was intentional. I know the owners of this store and they have a great sense of humor. Nice try, but hard to call a successful joke a fail?
oh shut up u think ur so smart