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Först!
so wen they empty the trash, they will dump the squirrel aswell??
Only if he’s home at the time.
And if he isn’t home, do they leave a tag on the canister like UPS does?
But UPS leaves the packages under the welcome mat…
They do? I haven’t gotten the package I was supposed to get this week. I keep tripping over my threshold though…
They do not empty the trash. The squirrel eat the edible parts and make its furniture from the rest.
he than pawns the furniture at squirrel flea markets.
That’s preposterous. That furniture would be way too large for a flea.
I love you. And the song of your namesake.
You want to stand under her umbrella ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eheh?
Ryannon rings like a bell throu the night
And wouldnt you love to love her
Takes to the sky like a bird in flight
And who will be her lover
but far too small for a human don’t you think?
This is ridiculous. Everyone knows you are supposed to put your squirrels in the recycle bin, not the trash
I know, but it’s such a hassle because their teeth aren’t recyclable so you have to sit and remove them all before putting the squirrel in the recycling bin.
It’s just too much bother for those people who don’t really care about the environment.
You forgot to talk about the bones too!
The bones actually can be recycled. They’re made of… something slightly different. Turns out they make a great, eco-friendly bleach!
Calcium, primarily. Bleach is calcium hypochlorite, so bones plus chlorine and a proper chemical process=bleach…
*hands LB a “TMI” membership card* *shakes his hand* Welcome to the club!
Now be sure to use it to wax verbose on any topic the piques your
interest of which you have sufficient knowledge or can copy pasta on the fly.
Perhaps one day the founder will return.
Let us all hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is his sign!
Roffle!
With syrup? Made from maple trees in Vermont/man peeing?
In Vermont the men piss 100% pure maple syrup.
That’s where urinal maple cakes come from.
I love maple syrup!
*heads to Vermont*
That explains why the guy accidenty a whole one. He must have been in Vermont.
I do wish for the founder’s return, he was/is my hero in the TMI department. Thanks for the membership card, I’ve wanted one for ages!!!
*runs around gleefully*
*freezes*
*crawls back under the covers*
Damn, it’s cold out there!
I forgot to add, you have to give yourself a nifty tag
Here, too, also! I’m in Wisconsin for a week and my feet are cold.
*wonders what the Admiral did with her socks…*
He took them to have Paul embroidered on them.
There was some kind of mixup. They came back with little bells sewn into them with the word “peal” embroidered on them. They’re warm and festive and will arrive tomorrow.
I have no idea why, but this comment made me smile until my grin-muscles ache.
*smooch*
(Hee…now I remember why. I look forward to tintinnabulating with you tomorrow!)
My tinnitus is killing me. And my tinnus elbow.
I’m just curious how you would copy pasta on the fly?
By scanning a mirror.
Bleach is actually sodium hypochloride, typically 5-7% concentration. Although, technically, calcium hypochlorite WILL bleach, the difference being that calcium hypochlorite is explosive when mixed with petroleum products… so don’t bleach your anal lube.
This comment needed a TMI tag.
Indeed!
Although, the advice at the end is definitely good to know!
Yeah, NOW he tells me.
*Bad mental image*
Ctrl-Alt-Delete
*Aaaaahhh it wont go away now*
I just use the water soluble stuff .. er I mean.. you should use …
If it doesn’t start with astro- and end with -glide, it’s not the best bleached anal lube. I’ve got standards.
Astroglide, Astroglide,
A little dab will do you,
When your ready to go for a ride,
A little dab will do you,
Before you let it slide.
Grattis!
you’re welcome
If there had been any justice in the universe Skwerlly Bob would have been the first one.
He probably couldn’t make it. Someone wasn’t careful opening his house, and all the squirrel-flea furniture was dumped out.
Skwerlly Bob you need some renovations done to your house.
At least he had the common sense to type out that warning sign!
yeh well some people might put out a law suit if they get bitten.. but that would be funny LOL!
Self defense from a home invasion.
Ignore above post.
It is in the wrong place.
Bitten? I assumed the the squirrel was meant to take care of the babies dropped in the bin.
You know, trained squirrels are great in nursery and teaching.
Only T-S
Only special needs.
Squirrel will bight.
Pesky people dumping trash in his home…must get very annoying.
I am surprised he didn’t use the “This is not a bin” sign.
I am not surprised he didn’t use the “This is not a rhino from Bellerophon ready to eat your brain and your trash.” sign.
Oscar the Grouch had this trash bin stolen out from under him by subprime mortgage lending.
He should have invested more wisely.
He loaded up on junk bonds.
He trashed his investment portfolio.
Those stock brokers treated him like garbage!
Now he’s down in the dumps and facing depression.
He should have refuse-d to by those junk bonds.
He will just need to compost himself and start over again.
Maybe he should read some litter-ature on the subject.
He threw them in the circular file cabinet
It’s pure rubish the way these mortgage lenders deal with the public.
It’s like they bin here and gone in an instant with everyone’s life savings.
Detritus stop them but it was a waste of recourses
I wonder if there is an elephant inside, people usually mix them up.
Nah, probably a hippo.
I say a giraffe. Your thoughts?
Giraffe? Don’t be ridiculous. You’d see its head poking out the top.
I’m going for rhino.
No, it’s the type of giraffe that’s short, fat, and likes trashy things. I call it: A “man”.
What is this ‘man’ thing you speak of?
I don’t think I like the sound of it.
Man: A biped focused primarily on sex, food and sports. Known to irritate women frequently by making rude comments, inappropriate bodily noises and leering looks. Necessary for the procreation of the species.
Sounds gross. Remind me not to order one of those.
Last I checked, the catalog was on back-order anyway. All the good ones are sold out.
I’m still not sold out!
I’m guessing there’s a good reason why…
Because I fail at advertising…
Poor aesthetics?
Are you from Hawaii?
No…
Oh, I’m not from Hawaii too! Cool, isn’t it?
Yes! It means we’re less likely to be killed by the Mauna Loa!
Macadamia nuts are dangerous?
No, they’re Mac-a-ma-dam-ia nuts.
They’re completly nuts.
And insane too.
Not to mention crazy!
They’re just cracked!
Person man, person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man
Is he depressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with person man?
Degraded man, person man
*Applaud*
It’s been years since I’ve heard that. But thank you for refreshing it in my brain.
It’s DEFINITELY an elephant! Hippos, giraffes and rhinos are way too big!
An ELEPHANT?! So where do you propose the trunk goes?!
It’s SO a rhino.
Hello? It’s a man-giraffe!
Cite your source.
You mean, where it came from? Well, when a mommy man-giraffe and a daddy man-giraffe really love each other…
They move into a bin together?! I think NOT!
You’re right, Loz, in today’s day and age, mommy man-giraffes aren’t bound by the typical matrimonial rules anymore. The are much more free range, and don’t depend on the daddy man-giraffes for support.
I’ve known plenty of mommy man-giraffes and daddy man-giraffes that move into the same bin. Sure, it’s a bit tight, and going to the bathroom is awkward, but if they love each other, they’ll find a chiropractor.
Fair enough, but THIS isn’t one of those bins!
If you listen, you can even hear the sound of stampeding rhinos coming from within.
And if you listen even more carefully, you’ll realize it is simply the mommy man-giraffes and daddy man-giraffes making baby man-giraffes.
They’re obviously not using picnic supplies, then.
Apparently, no one throws out their picnicing supplies, so they aren’t exactly available to the man-giraffes.
*peeks into the bin*
Oo…I think it’s a kangaroo!
Like the hypochondriac giraffe on Madagascar that needs a chiropractor?
*Looks over Dragonwriter’s shoulder*
Nope, definitely a badger. Hungry? I know how you make badger stew. It tastes like beef, salmon & chicken liver at the same time. It’s delicious!
That almost sounds like the new flavor of Purina Dog Chow.
*gags*
So if a mommy man-giraffe and a daddy man-giraffe have a baby, is it a purebred man-giraffe?
Nah, puggle.
Oh goodie!
badger, badger , badger,
badger, badger, badger
badger, badger,
MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!
It’s actually not a man-giraffe, but a manbearpig. My source is Al Gore.
It’s a heffalump!
That makes me feel all woozle inside.
There’s an underground tunnel below the bin, it’s not that hard to notice it.
The trunk is probably in the closet…
Giraffes are too busy cleaning ladderless windows…
I was going to make a comment about nuts but now I’ve rethought it.
make it. i want to hear it. haha!
Are you nuts?
are you?
Eeeh, no?
cindy is starting to sound like cicili, a.k.a. non-seq.
Non-sequential? Non-sequestered?
Non-seqsy?
Non-sequel?
Non-sequure?
non-sequined?
non-sequoia national park?
non-sequence
non-sequitur
well done.
*gives sammy a cookie*
What? No pat on the head? Pfft…what a rip-off.
You’ll accept Loz’s cookie graciously and you’ll like it, mister! You know, there are plenty of kids out there who would feel honoured to have the privilege of recieving one of Loz’s cookies!
*gives Sammy a stern look*
What? Just because I’m a stickler when it comes to the rules of condescension and I would think someone as meticulous as Loz would thorough in her mockery. I didn’t even complain that the cookie had no macadamias.
But you’re right, I apologize Loz. Thank you for the cookie, I appreciate it.
That’s better.
*pats Sammy on the head*
Whatever happened to cicili, Loz? The last time she posted, you told her to go away, and then… Poof!
*shifty eyes*
*hides hands behind back*
I honestly have no idea where she’s got to…
Probably in the bin with the squirrel, stabbed through the temple with a red pen.
How did you… I mean, no, of course not…
She’s the troll we love to bait. I mean hate.
Oh goodness…I didn’t even notice that non-seq was gone.
*is ashamed*
Out of bight, out of mind.
You got that rite, Mookie!
*pets the kitty*
Oh, that one just downright broke the innuendo machine in one shot! There’s going to be some major repair work tonight… all kinds of handling tools, torquing wrenches, and screwing nuts on bolts…
*pants* Tell me more!
I miss so much happening here while sleeping all day.
I miss it sleeping at night
Where the hell is Skwerrly Bob when we need him?
Oh wait — He might still be at home. You know, in that there trash can.
This just in: Skwerrly Bob is related to Oscar the Grouch! Political rivals in the Squirrel Presidency campaign question Bob’s qualifications for the position!
Well, I hear Skwerlly Bob’s mum is hot. How could Oscar refuse?
She made him an offer he couldn’t refuse? There’s a squirrel mafia?
Did she send him a donkey head?
Nah, he would have been apathetic about that… She threatened to clean his trash bin with soap and bleach!
Squirrel bleach?
It’s very gangsta… it’s made from recycled squirrel bones!
Diabolical!
Demonic!
Relentless demon, Satan -spawn -semen
Hot?
In what way?
In the temperature way.
Didn’t you hear that Bob roasted pecans on an engine yesterday? His mama must have been there with him. Ergo, hot skwerrll mama.
In a twitchy, rodenty, nutty kinda way.
[Insert celebutard joke here]
Like Richard Gere’s backside?
[Joke inserted]
[gerbil inserted]
Armageddon!
Still makes me LOL.
The Apocalypse is nigh!
Doomsday!
The End of Time!
Death of the Universe!
Here comes the fire and brimstone!
Oceans are rising!
Ireland will be devour by a giant of her own making!
We all shall perish in a sea of the undead!
Take your cyanide pills now people!
Wow.
Upon further investigation, police discovered that the “squirrel” was a burrito.
And the burrito was a polar bear.
And the polar bear was a RHINO.
And the rhino was a man-giraffe.
And the man-giraffe was a F.UCK YOU!
*runs in a corner and cries*
B-b-b-but…. Loz… don’t yell at me! *cries*
Also — My husband already did that. Hence, my daughter.
LOL, speaking of my daughter, I just went in to check on her, and she stood up in her crib, and said “Hiya!”
And what is with almost everyone on failblog being a parent?!
My guess is that with the high-stress life, we parents need a laugh at the end of the day, to remind us that we’re not the only crazy ones.
Would you happen to be a parent, Loz? Do you say F U to your kids as well?
I have but a mere 20 years under my belt, I am not even thinking about children right now!
And no, lol, I would not say f.uck you to my kids.
Loz, you seem in a grumpy mood… that “F.UCK YOU” comment was out of character for you! I think you need something!
*HUGS*
There, maybe you’ll feel better now?
The ‘f.uck you’ was not meant in a malicious way at all! You know me better than that. It was an exaggerated extreme reaction which was meant to be humourous.
…but who am I to turn down a hug?! *HUGS*
Silly me… I must not have imbibed enough coffee yet.. Where’s my intravenous caffeine line??? I thought it seemed odd, now I know it’s ’cause I didn’t get the joke. Oh, well. Happy day!!!
Hey, I’m pretty new to failblog. I don’t know your character. You dropped my feelings on the ground. Now they’re hurt.
Really? You thought I was being genuinely mean? In a conversation about man-giraffes?!
Well, sorry. I thought it was obvious that it was a joke…
*picks up emy’s feelings*
*strokes them*
Here you go, they’re better now.
You must be good at stroking, because my feelings are purring!
Uh-oh… I sense a disruption in the innuendo machine!
*runs for video camera*
*gets the popcorn*
loz i will cheer you up!!!!
IM BACK!!!!!!!
now seal me in my vacum chamber before i start ranting…
*grabs the beer goggles*
I’m too tired to deal with trolls right now, and I have work soon.
Would you do us a big favour and seal yourself in the chamber?
Thanks.
GEEEZ, Loz!
*smack!*
You can’t play with the noobs the way you do with us! That was harsh.
*hugs the green-eyed kitten*
*ignores the attention-whore*
and the F.UCK YOU was a badger!
Badgers! We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!
Hey, speak for yourself. I’m in Wisconsin at the moment, which is a fairly badger-intensive state.
Thank you, Dragon. *Hugs back* Purrrrrrrrrrr….
I believe I am content.
On a parenting note, my kitten (child) just fell asleep after some regurgitation took place. So, my emygirl parenting tip for the day is: Don’t feed your child a whole jar of applesauce, and then let your husband play “airplane” with your daughter.
Yuk! Hate the barfs!
Not a parent.
Children scare the living sh!t out of me.
:duct tapes up the do-not-feed-the-troll sign:.
“Do not feed the trolls applesauce and then let Emyboy play airplane with them”
No, not cousin Larry’s trash can!! It used to belong to his mommy’s second aunt.
We’re all too lazy to plan our picnics.
My picnic was planned — But then it got rained on. So our picnic was planned for the next day
And too lazy to have a web page more complex that a picture of a fried egg??
I accidenty the link in my name.
But now that I think about it, I’m going to leave it. Just because.
*chuckle* its been there since you linked it to EGG
Maybe you are creating a trend here.
LOL! But I am the original Mookie, the real one, not some fake-chicken Canadian ripoff.
I know, and this is why you would have my vote.
Does Mookie like nookie?
If memory serves.
Would you like a reminder?
*raises hand*
Oh, ME, ME, Pick ME! I want a reminder!
*remembers*
Oh, wait, you’re not of that persuasion…
*slumps shoulders*
I thought… no, never mind…
I would. Oooo-ooo-ooo!! Pick me, pick me!
*remembers that desperation is not a good look on a man*
Um, I mean, whatever. I really like you and all, but if you’re not in the mood, that’s cool.
Wow, you’re like, 28! That would make me a bona fide cougar! *Grrrrr*
*munchy-munchy-munch!*
My kind of kitty
Dragon, what’s that you’re munching on? The Admiral’s bone – er, bones?
Just enjoying the show…!
You’ve got me all day-dreamy now, though… :p
Not!
Umm da*m refresh .. that not kinda doesn’t fit there ..*chuckle*
Not too lazy, or not a picnicker?
Oh, we’re definitely picnickers.. otherwise we wouldn’t be smoking the innuendo machine on an almost daily basis. Planners, however, we may not be. I have two, myself: 14 (boy) and 11 (girl).
LOL ! And I agree 100% with LB! But the not was for, I am not a parent
And the man-giraffe was a ladder-less window cleaner
WIN!!
Upon further investigation, police discovered that the “burrito” was the Moon.
So I shouldn’t nuke the burrito then?
It tastes like chicken.
Mmm squirrel burrito
If I saw a trash bin with that sign, I would be compelled to open it and check for squirrels.
Compelled by who? The voices in your head?
Mookie’s mind control, I presume.
Alright, Kitty, just open it carefully, like the nice little sign says.
This reminds me of the dumpster behind our station. We have to kick the side as we walk around it to the front to empty our trash… if you don’t, and open the lid from the front, you’re liable to have a squirrel vaulting off your shoulder or head as he exits the dumpster!!!
At a hotel in Ft. Lauderdale, where I go to a writer’s conference every year, there is always a trash bin by the pool that has a raccoon living in it. A very spoiled, very fat raccoon!
I saw a squirrel eating a ham sandwich at Sarah Lawrence. It was the size of a cat and had mean eyes. It looked like the pork products had soured its attitude over the years.
But did the sandwich have mayonnaise on it?
The grocery store in my cousin’s town doesn’t carry M&M’s because there is a suirrel that steals all the bags.
Ummm…a squirrel fell out of a tree and bounced off the top of my head once…
It’s a true story, but that’s all I got.
Again, beer through the nose is not pleasant!!!
Sowwy!
The squirrel fell out of a tree and landed on your nut?
The squirrel fell out of a tree and landed on your nut?
*snork*
It did, indeed. I don’t know which of us was more startled.
We had a wild squirrel that would wander around our house and watch TV. Once it leapt on moms head on purpose. I CAN tell you who was the more startled.
Why in the name of geoducks did this double post? And two minutes apart at that!
They’ll learn Esperanto, or some language twins teach each other.
What manner of double talk is that?!
I’ve noticed that when the blog double posts a comment, there’s always two minutes between the time of the original comment and the time of the duplicate.
It’s a commentgeist
Well with all the repair to the space time continue,
is it really surprising there are few glitches?
Did you try to divide by zero again??!?
I think the space-time continuum is directly linked to the inuendo machine, so hopefully with Dragon’s upgrade the amount of malfunctions will decline.
“Inuendo” looks like it is totally in Spanish to me. I will read this as “Menudo Machine”. All space-time malfunctions are now the result of Menudo.
Oh well might as well set it for permanent fail if you do that.
.
ATCF: I don’t linking it to the innuendo machine is such a good idea, weve been causing it to over heat quite a bit lately.
Fluffy, you came in late. You missed your cue.
That’s it, I’m throwing her.
You tosser.
:p
And I’ll punt’ er!!
HEY!
*punts!*
And they’re signaling for a fair catch around the fluffy yard line.
*readies the fish net*
I had a cue? Sorry.. had no clue..
Seriously, don’t do that.
There might actually be a squirrel in there… or an angry cat. I’ve got the scar on my nose to prove that.
Okay, out of everyone here, who is a failblong mama or daddy? If you want, you can add the kids ages and names. Mine is a year old, Evangeline. More often known as Eva the Diva.
Oopsie — I meant failblog. I don’t think anyone belongs to failblong!
Yeah, but do want a rip off the failbong?
My son is [NULL - ERROR #1 YEAR cannot be undefined!] years old!
So, you are the proud parent of an error? Your child is null???
He accidenty a baby. Send him a card.
Hi Laura! It’s me, Laura!
Do you have a middle name? Mine’s Nicole.
I have 2. Grandmothers’ names. They’re not being disclosed here!
Because they’re dorky? Or because they will allow your admirers to hunt you down?
Both!
My boyfriend’s mom has a job where she does eye examinations at schools, and she always keeps her eye open for weird/funny names.
The other day she saw a girl whose name was “Buzzsaws Irma Dr. Curry”. I can’t remember the last name, but it’s intense enough!!
Um, what?
That’s a peculiar name.
(Though not as peculiar as Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Come on, guys, seriously.)
I like Pilot Inspektor. (I think that’s how it’s spelled)
Any star naming their child something weird should be shot. Then revived, and shot again.
O.M.F.G. this is funny!!! Click my name for the link, then use your Failblog red pen on the resulting failure at proofreading!! Awesome. Not only is the article about failures, the title is a failure.
Oh god! The title is a failure, as is the rest of the article!
)
(I do secretly think Mowgli is a cute name, though
The wost is yet to come.
They didn’t't name some of the wost names: Penn Gilette’s daughter – Crime Fighter, Rob Morrow’s daughter – Tu, and someone else who named their kid Pilot Inspektor (can’t remember who).
Try to revive Frank Zappa. He had four children. all four scarred for live.
Died of prostate cancer. Ironic?
Oh yes, Moonstation Zappa, wasn’t it?
Only love is all maroon, gluey feathers on a flume.
Sky is womb and she’s the moon.
Wow your confusing me….
Where is the vacum chamber?
*walks off*
muffled shouts!
*passes note around*
loz fancies Mookie
*giggles*
Zappa had four children:
Moon Unit,
Dweezil,
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
and
Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.
Hows that for Squirrelly names? Hmmm?
Moon Unit, that’s the one. Hahahaha.
Have any of you seen the names of the kids by the wife of Michael Hutchins?
With Bob Geldof, she had Fif Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie. With Hutchins, she had Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Disney fan?
More like deranged idiot. Ryannon… you’ve changed… Hubba hubba!
Got tired of seeing those sunglasses
Pretty lady!!
Michael Hutchence?? Who was with Kylie Minogue, and may or may not have died from autoerotic asphyxiation? And led INXS?? I actually like that kid’s name. But I am partial to the weird names.
^^ *hubba hubba indeed*
OH MY GOD. It’s the animal conspiracy! Someone call Tim Bedore…
*Tim Bedore arrives, asses the situation..*
Wow, ive awaken from myy sleep and this IS WHAT I SEE?!?
ty for the wake up
Sequel to “Peaches”:
Push my garbage down inside, make a little room for a squirrel to hide…
This happens all the time at Busch Gardens.
lolz thats in the vancouver botanical garden xD
Just about ANY container of that size *could* have a squirrel inside… shouldn’t they all have signs?!
but… does the squirrel die at the end of the story?
No, he made friends with a moose and they ran off to Canada to fight a Russian couple.
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!
Don’t you mean:
“Hey Rocky, me rabbit out of my hat!”
If we are to keep up with the MIA verb jokes.
HEY!
3 of my posts are missing!
Failblog! What’s up? Arrrrrgh!
Yeah it’s been a little wonky lately. They aren’t there, then they are there. It’s armageddon.
Is there any consistency to this madness?
I mean, I didn’t have naughty words or bad links… WHY is this happening to me!? I’m just a poor lil squirrel who can barely afford to steal wi-fi from the university my tree is in…
Ha HA! *Scampers to keyboard*
Damned “Ads By Google” I type my comment and POOF! a “RollerFeeder” “Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder” ad appears! It even has a picture of a squirrel falling to the ground.
*scampers away*
Is that a relative of yours?
Clearly they are nut related.
They REALLY need these warnings on the trash bins at Microsoft. The squirrels think the trash bins are thiers and they only allow us near if we have offerings to appease the sharp gnashing teeth gods.
You work at Microsoft? You know the guy who printed my cell phone number on his business cards?
Nah, that’s clearly the badger that escaped my last attempt to make Badger Stew…
Oh, and I can’t reply to any posts on the first page.
Yes, you can. I believe you haven’t learned of the usefulness of the “show all” button yet.
Then explain why I posted two replies about four hours ago, and they haven’t shown up yet.
Here, have some Badger Stew. It’s good for you.
Just press the “show all” button! DO IT NOW!!!
I always hit show all.
You don’t know what you are missing if you don’t do it.
Mr. Squirrel probably lost his former home to another unneccessary Wal-mart or Starbucks
I have nightmares about the day Wal-mart and Starbucks combine into some ultra-huge-mega store and call themselves Star-mart…
Or Walbucks.
Sad thing is, that day will come. I am sure of it. Right before 20/12 when NOTHING WILL HAPPEN all those paranoid freaks who sit in their mothers basements playing dungeons and dragons hoarding Spam waiting for the end of the world.
The habitat is failure, but at least these people had the good sense to warn everyone else.
Me? I wouldn’t. I’d watch and wait, then laugh when the squirrel jumped out at them.
I bet you are the one that took down the signs at the Japanese zoo where the guy jumped in to “hug” the panda and got torn up a bit. Wait, the signs were still there yet he still jumped in.
Pandas are evolutionary fails, they should be Failblog mascots…
Seriously if they weren’t so cute they’d all be up in animal heaven with all the dodos and Tasmanian tigers.
Wierd, i have the same thing written on my undies.
Are you related to Loufail?
Your mother puts license plates in your underwear?
EATTHE CHILDREN FIRST
I saw a squirrel fall into one of those types of garbage cans once. I would have helped, but I was on my way to an exam at the time.
I still maintain it’s a badger. I can make some stew out of him. Who wants?
On my college campus, we actually have a problem with squirrels getting into the trash cans to rumage for food. This sign, while hilarious, is actually quite relevant.
I call that a win.
this is no joke – my friend saw a squirrel jump into a bin, she shook it and the squirrel jumped out and attacked her face. no joke.
…Is that a joke?
I’ve actually experienced this (but without the helpful sign that is) and I gotta say, it is SCARY AS F**K!!!!!!!
Scary as fuck? What were you fucking?
okay this sign makes sense to me-i live in north philly i see squirrels pop out of garbage cans on a daily basis.
The sad but funny thing is it is true. Happened to a friend of mine. We were in DC and he went to throw something away and this crazy squirrel jumped out at him.
Honest to god I’ve opend a swivel bin like that and a squirrel’s been in there…had to tip the bin for it to get out…
We had squirrels like this at my college. YOU need to be careful of THEM.
Picture the scene: You, heading home from the student center after getting a late night snack and a jolt of caffeine to finish that paper (yes, you really ARE going to finish it tonight, and not tomorrow morning like always…and YES, 6:59 am STILL COUNTS AS NIGHT). You unthinkingly toss your empty cup in the trash bin and WHAM SCRAMBLE SCHOOM!!!!!!!!
Once you can hear beyond the pounding in your ears and your vision clears from black, you just manage to make out a gray tail leaping away…into a different trash bin.
Yes, good times. Many years off my life. DON’T FEED HIS HABIT!
Wow, this actually happened to me…when i was 8…very traumatizing…
OMG Seriously, this happened to me. I was standing next to a garbage can outside while on the phone and all of a sudden a fucking squirrel crawls out! I saw it out of the corner of my eye and I’m really skiddish, so at first I thought it was a hand! I screamed and a guy walking by laughed at me. So embarrassing!
Haha this is really a problem though . . . at my school the squirrels go in trash cans and root around for food, then if you open one they fling themselves out and scratch and bite the person who opens the can. All of our trash cans now have little gnawed holes in them so the squirrels can escape.
I’ve actually had a squirrel jump out of a garbage can when I threw something away. It scared the crap out of me!
That really happened to me. I walked by a garbage can with no lid on it, and a squirrel jump out. It scared the shit out of me (not literally
)
It’s the lesser known schrodinger’s squirrel. Also, until the blood tests come back, you have schrodinger’s rabies.
lol imagine a squirrel leping out at you wen you open that garbage can
No kidding–I work at the zoo, and we’ve had a lot of squirrels jump out of trash cans and attack people. They forage for food in there, and when the lid opens, they freak and attack the person who opened it. No kidding, there should be warnings on trash cans where that happens.