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Cheezburger Network Blog
Fail!
EEE OOO!
ummmmm obvious much?
what does BWEM stand for?
Change?
I think he stands for equal rights for gays and equal pay for women.
butt water evoked mud
Box with elastic membrane.
Black Women Eat Biscuits
*wince*
But Who Eats Buns?
People at the Y.
Better When Elsewhere, Baby.
British Women Eager for Men?
Born With Extra Metatarsal?
awesome
rofl
It’s for city kids who can’t tell the difference.
It’s metaphorical. The llama is the elephant in the room
No, YOU’RE the elephant in the room.
You mean he’s the llama in the room.
Perhaps an ass
It’s a camel…
ITS A GOAT!
If he’s the ass, you’re a dick!
HAhahahaha
In Soviet Russia…
never mind.
I guess they couldn’t pny up enough money for a real elephant or a new sign.
Oh
REAL elephant rides around the corner, $100.00!
Win!
thou hath failed,
its a pony jackass.
btw does any1 else reckon the fail after elepohail is uneccesary?
3rd!
Merde!
Herd!
Word!
Bird!
Word? Bird?
Ba-ba-ba-bird bird bird, the bird is the word, the bird-bird-bird, yeah the bird is the word
Marius – you’ve changed!
Great, I was wondering when someone would change his diapers.
Now he doesn’t have the baby bottom smell anymore! *Sniff*
Well, maybe a little. *Hangs car air freshner pine tree around Marius’ neck*
Yes, I fooling around with some different pictures and. . .whats that smell? Pine trees? Who stole my pants?!
*Sheepishly hands Marius his trousers*
I swear, I didn’t do it! I was framed I tell you, framed!
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
O, but she’ll keep my pants.
What do I call them?
Mouse-trap.
*applauds!!*
You do know your Hamlet, Marius!
You are, as always, too kind.
Turd? Nerd? 1rd?
WIN!
Word!
You two can make a wish!
World!
word up, it’s word girl!
At what times does the elephant ride on that pony?
I’d pay to see that!
How much would you pay?
Evil BondFan has an elephant and some ponies at his disposal.
25 monies.
I’ll give you 2 cashes for that.
What are you going to do with the Tangos, if you’re giving away the Cashes?
There are no more Tangos, they all got FUBAR.
We’re going to pool our resources. We’ll put my half Tango with her half Tango. Afterall, it takes two to Tango.
$1.00 are u a ________?
No, I’m afraid I’m not a blank space. Why do you ask?
I’l take a line if they’re on offer? Just dont tell my horse.
You mean sheep?
Im neither a sheep nor mean.
That’s not what you told that Scotsman last night!
I’d like to buy a vowel.
y?
U?
I?
E?
O?
Perhaps a consonant? Australia is quite lovely this time of year…
So I’ve heard, I may have to venture there one day.
Yay, so far the quality of comments is about 0.5%, as 0.15% was deducted when I posted one myself.
…that’s less than half!
No, it’s exactly a half percent.
Reference recognition fail.
I think EGG got the reference… but the reference doesn’t really work in this case, lol.
Lunging on Llama’s?
I llove it when you alliterate.
ILIWYL? I dont get it.
Perhaps you are not aware of the definition of the word ‘alliterate’?
Yeah, trashy needs to refer to a dictionary for that one, lol.
I thought this is where failures fail-out?
Where is this statistic you speak of?
It’s not really an elephant that’s why the price is low.
Obviousness WIN!
[sarcasm] thanks, i didnt notice [/sarcasm]
Speaking of that, I’m finally going to see if I can pull off the italics and boldness.
[I] sarcasm [/I]
[B] sarcasm [/B]
Make them lowercase and use the greater/less than signs. Those things above the comma and period keys.
lol here we go again …
it does not matter if the ‘I’ is capitilized or not … but you need to
change the ‘[' to a ' < '
and
change the ']‘ to a ‘ > ‘
Here we go again on our own…going down the only road we’ve ever known…
Put that whitesnake back in your pants.
Alright, wait one second and I’ll try the italics and boldness again:
sarcasm
sarcasm
YAY
congratsEMY
*cheers*
It also looks like someone is already on an ‘Elephant’ ride
Is that George W Bush?
That’s not the elephant ride, that’s the drop of terror!
No, he rode THAT elephant into the ground.
As pundit kitchen noted, politics is just like driving. It’s “R” to go backwards, and “D” to go forward!
That elephant looks sick.
heh. it’s a little hoarse.
how punny of you.
“Elephant” is actually its name
Damn Bob! — You beat me to it?
Great Bob’s think alike.
Wanna a acorn?
wanna cam?
wanna cyber?
why?
thats one small and hairy elephant right there
That’s what SHE said!
Animal identification fail.
Well, as long as it’s not one of those awful heffalumps!
Or Woozles!
No worries, they’re a hundred acres from here!
nicely done.
The flooms in the garden have started to wink. A tiny paroobie is churling “Zlink Zlink!”
Dammit, I sprayed floomicide in there just the other day.
Or Wookies!
Twenty-Sixth!
I can see pink elephants on parade.
I want some of what you’ve been drinking!
*Pours LB a Margarita* Salt or no salt?
Hippity Hoppity
Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass…
Lunchbox, the FBI want to see you. Your ’salt’ seems to attract the attention of their drug-sniffing dogs.
But, but… I was told it was completely undetectable…
RUN!!!
*sprints out of airport*
Um…Uh..I believe you have my stapler.
I was told I could play my radio at a reasonable volume between 10 and 11.
Office Space reference WIN!!!
I could put cyanide in the guacomole
i bet im er… *checks microwave*
7823926758760-284-957667475 person to post!
BUY MY MELTED ICE. TASTE LIKE WATER JUST MORE EXPENSIve!!
ÂŁ999999999.99 a liter.
Ha you yanks try paying in dollars!
*pulls out shotgun*
What are you on?
last time i checked
*checks left pinky*
Six ounces of milkshake coverd banna choclate car totting splat flavered artifail
brail FAILS!!!!!
*walks back to padded cell*
*shuts door, blows up key in controlled explosion, and launches cell into outer space*
I’m afraid britishandproud has given away his true identity.
A Brit would never write ‘liter’.
Nice try, toll boy!
Inspector Loz does it again!
Elementary, my dear BFF!
A lemon entry?
*Designs citrus door*
That might sting a little.
Ow! Ow!
*abandons citrus door and settles for a berry window*
I hope you’re not using strawberries or blueberries or blackberries for that window – they’re not actual berries!
Gasp!
*scraps berry window and starts legume mantlepiece*
If you take the French meaning of ‘lĂ©gume’, you’ll have a lot more material to work with!
*finishes*
There! Isn’t that a colourful mantlepiece!
It’s a masterpiece of a mantlepiece!
Indeed!
*takes bite out of work of art*
Mmmm…veggie…
you make rainbows!!!
hehehehe!
I watched 2 bond films today
w00t im more bond fan than bondfan
*walks into a new padded cell with biometric thumb scanning lock*
*slams door behind the fake Brit*
*locks*
*dusts off hands*
Loz, tell that maniac I’ve watched ALL the movies. He’s watched two and he calls himself a Bond fan?
Psh! Pathetic excuse for a Bond fan!
Ah well, let him think what he likes. He’s only a silly troll.
ive watched 2 today but all of them at least 3 times
even quatnm of solace.
Psh! Pathetic excuse for a Bond fan!
Ah well, let him think what he likes. He’s only a silly troll.
im a muchkin!
Eh, trolls insult. This one’s just more random than cicili. Or even goon.
I didn’t think that was possible.
*looks at evidence* *looks away quickly before brain implodes* Unfortunately, it is.
BondFan – Just curious if you’ve seen Never Say Never Again… the Thunderball remake. Personally, I think it’s terrible.
More random than cicili?! Not possible!
you hurt me.
ive bad spelling
ive escaped from my padded btw!!!!!
free to rule the world and murder loz!!!!
You’ve just been blasted into outer space and you escaped from your cell?! Well, if the lack of oxygen doesn’t get you, the dehydration will.
No, he escaped from his padded BTW.
…your guess is as good as mine…
im invin… invin…invins…
immortal!!!!!
mwhahahaha!!!!!!!
*throws a nuclear bomb at moon*
that’ll teach em to mock me!!!
moparscape is fun!!!!!
Are we on or off topic?
are you planning on blasting me to japan?
*plzplzpzlpzlpzlplzplz*
…Today, the body of britishandproud was found face-down, floating in the gentle waters of the Thames. The coroner deduced that he died from three hundred and fifty punches, half from BondFan and half from Loz. The case continues.
since when did i like swimming in the thamese…
and why am i in a coffin
*pulls shot gun a shots way out*
btw the moon is raining on you.
THE NEWS
THE BODY OF LOZ HAS BEEN FOUND ON THE SPIRE OF THE CANARY WHORF.
HE FELL FROM SPACE BY AN ATOMIC BOMB TO THE HEAD AND IMPALLED HIS HEART ON THE SPIRE.
THE CASE CONTINUES.
bondfan your next!
He?
You mean you don’t know Loz is female?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*laughs mockingly*
Oh, and ‘Whorf’ is spelt ‘Wharf’.
dont make me mad.
or ill call my fellow er……. elves to finish you all off!
i know where you live….
THE NEWS
BONDFAN4518 HAS BEEN FOUND CRYING FOR MERCY IN A MEDIVAL TORTURE CHAMBER OWNDED BY LOZ. LOZ IS DEAD SO THE CASE CONTINUES
and the weather…
Oh God! BondFan his next!
you are right!!!!!
EGG your for breakfast.
my toast soliders kill you!!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Heehee, yet again, he has impaled himself.
Canary Wharf has a spire? :p
i made it yesterday
EGG was the spire
has my delivery of my elf army come yet…
*checks phone*
YES!!!!!
I HAVE TO PAY V.A.T!!!!!
Spires have a long, pyramid shape.
EGG is oval, and has not corners.
Ergo, EGG ≠Spire
EGG IS A GOOD SPIRE!!!!!!
IT IMPALED LOZ!
To be British (and proud), you’re using quite Germanic references…
I’ve had enough of your rants.
*places in vacuum chamber with at least two hundred bolted doors made of titanium four kilometres underground*
Aah, peace at last.
And I have never impaled Loz. Sorry mate, check your facts.
*is unimpaled*
VAT on an elf army… possibly the most bizarre concept…
i really never knew that…
WHERE MY AIR????*gets oxygen tank out*
better, better..
*teleports out*
if you dont belive im british ill send you a pound coin.
*rassberry*
I must say I’m having trouble believing it…
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
i dont like you now
He’s quite loud in a vacuum chamber, isn’t he?
Feel free to send me a pound though… I’m rather low on funds at the moment.
address?
credit card deatils?
scanned passport?
driving lisence?
9999million usd?
Hehehe, I impaled Loz.
*nudge nudge*
Completely off-topic but I just received the funniest Nigerian-scam email yet:
“This is to bring to your notice that I am delegated from the United Nations to Union Bank Of Nigeria to pay 100 Nigerian scammed victims $5 Million USD each, you are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims, get back to me as soon as possible with a scanned copy of your international passports or drivers license for identifications and for the immediate payment of your $5 Million compensation funds”
…LOL. The scammers are now pretending to be compensating the scam victims? Utterly shameless, lol.
lol best scam yet!
Email back and say: visit failblog.org for more ideas
Wow – would anyone fall for that?
I’ve sent them all of the information that they wanted but they haven’t said when I’ll be paid. Have you heard anything?
i feel bullied
*runs off to a corner and cries*
*Pushes into troll cage*
Have fun with the other kiddies!
but im a munchkin!
SUPER DUPER MUNCHKIN ATTACK!!!!
*kills trolls*
Wow, that was a brutal yet effecient way to get rid of all those trolls!
You’re still in the troll cage, though.
SUPER MUNCHKIN PICKLOCK!
Sorry, but munchkins can’t reach that high.
ive got stilts on
I’ve sawn them off. And burnt them. To ashes. And burnt those ashes. Etc., etc.
*corrects BFF’s spelling error*
*thanks Loz and gives red ink*
BFF, you do know that her red pen is filled with the blood of those she has slain, right?
Of course I do. This ink is 99% troll blood, 1% water.
That’s more than half!
WIAIAGTLLR
When I alliterate I always get the last letter wrong
*sigh*
Are you in possession of a dictionary.
i dont know the meaning of the word!!!
*lends BFF possession of a question mark*
Heee!
You’re having a lot of fun, Loz!
That’s not alliteration, that’s an acronym – albeit a virtually unpronounceable one.
It’s not unpronouncable! You say it like this:
Wee-uh-ee-uh-get-ull-er.
My favorite acronym has to be from The Cat in the Hat movie. The Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter — “Come on, quick, to the S.H.I.T.!”
Sam Houston Institute of Technology
im boerd
You’re bored? We’re aghast!
where have you been?
*runs up and hugs bondfan*
IVE BEEN SO BOERD!!!!
W00T!
where loz?
Loz gone. Loz no amused.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Can i kill more trolls?
Yes, you may kill more trolls. So long as you stay in the cage. We’ll keep supplying you with them.
SUPER TROPS DUPER MUNCHKIN ATTACK!
Look, have you seen the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz attack?
I think the small one, you know, that small munchkin one, was his cousin.
Was that not completely vague, or am I off today?
yes
I’ve never seen them attack. But they do look perfectly capable of it, creepy lil guys.
yes
Loz was making a home music video *giggles*
I’m annoyed, some comments I posted before I left have now disappeared. Anyone else finding this?
It’s been happening for a couple of days now.
Bastards! Although perhaps it’s a sign of the failblog team finally fixing the ’show all’-recent comments problem…
*crosses fingers*
Ooh, a jumble.
*hugs mookie for no reason*
Who are you????????????
Mookie is one of our intellects. A member of FailblogMENSA, which includes Dragonwritter, fuzz, pob, Loz, and many others.
im scared.
WHAT MENSA?
Oh, I can’t read.
I thought it said “four intellects”, and then you mentioned four more.
Seemed a bit wrong.
*goes to buy glasses*
Why, thank you, BondFan. That is very gentlemanly of you. Right back at you, of course!
You’re welcome.
It seems to me Faiblog has two very big divisions: the intelligencia, and the trolls.
im very intelligent. Propaly.
I was venting anger over the lst hour of this day.
Set your phaser to stun, BF. I think this one needs a nap.
Will do!
*knocks out britishandproud*
Aww, he’s sleeping like a baby!
Or a troll.
im awake you idoits
you think a pathetic stun gun would stop me?
*shoots mookie and BF with duel desert eagles*
*ducks, and shields Mookie*
No-one, but no-one, shoots Mookie!
*Guns down britishandproud with Kalashnikov, coupled with several grenades. Proceeds to descend into Nuclear bunker with Failbloggers, where missile is launched at britishandproud*
Phew!
To borrow a quote from an intellect from yesterday:
*Single tear flows down face as I watch the burning flames*
It’s… so… beautiful…
God you morons.
My IQ IS 108.
As you can now see i am of very high intelliagence.
But my spelling is terrible
Big whoop. Mine is 132. So what?
im probably much much much younger than you
Of that I have no doubt. What exactly does that have to do with IQ?
Lots
Uh, no. It doesn’t.
Hehe! How ironic.
Please note, I did not mock his spelling. I, too, am a terrible speller. That is why I use the spell-check function that is available to me.
Oh I know, I meant it’s ironic that he’s trying to boast about how clever he is, while proving the opposite by not knowing that IQ is constant over your life-span.
I was hoping that’s what you meant! I did have memories of my first day or two here though. He did almost quote me there.
Aww, what happened on your first day?! Did you make some terrible, unforgivable errors?
YOU don’t remember? I’m pretty sure that was MY blood in your pen for a few days!
Does he know that 108 is average? I’m not going to blab mine. There is a ten point swing on the results. They were a fun late night hobby before I found Failblog.
And still she refuses to correct me!
I shall feel like an outsider until Loz’s pen is filled with my blood!
Yolk?
OMG! He’s bragging about an IQ of 108!
….BWUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
*snortgiggle*
Dat’s funny.
Is it fail if I don’t know what my IQ is?
Avis, I don’t remember the specifics… sorry if it was painful!
EGG, okay, in future I’ll keep a look out for your errors, lol.
“probably”
*giggles uncontrollably scattering acorns everywhere*
Number 1, IQ of 108 is considered within the range of average – based on a normal curve with a standard deviation of 20 points. Nearly 70% of the population has an IQ between 80-120: 34% of the population has an IQ over 108.
Number 2, IQ actually takes the age of the individual into account in the calculation process, as it’s based on a ratio between the mental age and the chronological age (atleast in the most widely used IQ test – Binet).
Between 120-140 you find the “gifted” individuals – approximately 14% of the population, and above 140 are the geniuses – a little over 2% of the population.
Before the munchkin opens it’s mouth, it should do a little reading.
Not to be unkind, but on this blog we consider that retarded.
I think that is the 1st time i’ve seen you write something slightly offensive!
But he shot you, so i guess he deserved it.
Yes, I struggled with myself before I said something mean. However, he basically murdered half of the posters here, so I’m thinking he’s a psycho. Me no likey violence.
Of course, your a vegetarian but, above all, you are a lawyer!
Ngah, all this BAP reading…
*you’re*
Eggy, are you in the States?
I’m afraid not.
Care to be more specific? Or are you one of those people who assumes everyone on the internet wants to hunt you down? (I don’t subscribe to that theory, personally).
Haha, no i’m not one of those.
I currently live in Madrid.
Buenos dias, senor. (no accents unless I go on Google translate). Is there a Sra. Egg and Egg ninos?
Nah, it’s just me. Not in a relationship at the moment either.
Well, a good egg like yourself won’t be alone for long!
So i thought the last time! And the drought carried on for quite a while!
Well, it’s not like i tried. Plus, i’m very picky.
I’m the same way egg, I feel for ya completely.
Thanks, ATCF. My last relationship ended in August (although i knew it would end then), and I haven’t really bumped into anybody that interested me at all (in that sense) since then.
*grin* here’s to being picky! *raises morning cup of coffee*
Cheers!
Mine is 142 or 143 and I’m just a simple little skwerl.
Perhaps you might want to finish middle school and try again?
Hey, don’t make fun of the kiddies in middle school. When I was there, I had an IQ of 134! So just show off his stupidity, not the others, okay?
Alright, new game — How old do people think I am?
Well, you still have your zest for life. So I’m going to go with 18 (no taxes, no bils).
I’m going with 15
ATCF was the closest of everyone. I’m 27 — With a planned 1 year old daughter. So I’m a failblog mama as well
The bun bun is named Evangeline — Or, at this age, as well call her, Eva the diva
*we, not well.
Cat years or human years?
I’d say… you’re 22 human years.
24?
Hi, ATCF. Almost time for work?
Just got to work, figured I’d pop in and see what was new before the feces hits the oscilator.
You work on Sundays? Ouch!
I work weekends, holidays, any day. It’s a 24/7 operation, so weekends and holidays may as well be a wednesday.
*shares your pain*
May i ask what do you do for a living?
To whom are you posting this inquiry? If it was me, I work for the 911/Emergency Dispatch Center where I live.
Dude, i’m 141 and that never got me anywhere. Sorry.
Aw, EGG, you’re tops in my book!
Thanks so much… *hugs*
I’d totally invite you out to dinner right now if you weren’t thousands of miles away… and if it wasn’t 5:28am.
What are you doing up?? Although I can never sleep, either.
I don’t know really. I just can’t sleep.
My sleeping habits have always been terrible, i’m afraid. This week (monday through friday) has been especially terrible. I think i slept a total of 14-15 hours.
I can relate. I wake up at 4:00 most days. If I were there, I’d make you some coffee!
I just don’t feel the need to go to bed. Albeit i really enjoy a good sleep, there’s so many things i rather do…!
Let me guess, is EGG your initials?
Yes they are! Er… do we know each other?
Okay, guessing game: Eduardo?
Haha, this is fun!
And yes! You are VERY efficient!
Mi padre se llama Eduardo. Me llamo Laura.
Un placer conocerte, Laura!
Is your dad Spanish?
No, we’re actually Italian, Irish and Swiss. He’s really Edward.
Well, it looks like the combination worked out pretty well!
I almost felt tempted to pull my strings in the medical field to track you down!
Aww! Another Edward and Laura!
POB and I also share those names. Let’s do lunch.
Yay! Another Edward! (I love my name.)
Alright, who gave the troll/munchkin/whatever caffeine?
Well, that explains the mountain of coke bottles he’s sleeping on.
Are you sure those aren’t Jolt bottles?
Jolt is brand of soda whose catch phrase is “all the sugar, twice the caffeine.”
Twice the caffeine? Where, oh Avis, can i get one of those Jolts you speak of?
Wait, how does it taste? It’s not one of those Red Bull/Rockstar/burn drinks, right?
Well they sell it in the states, and it tastes god-awful if you ask me.
That’s all i needed to know.
I’ll stick to coffee
Thanks!
Well, he was able to figure out how a bottle works, so maybe we shouldn’t insult his intelligence…
I thought it was more of a social ladder, myself. With qualifications on how long you’ve been around, your grammar/spelling, and your wit.
woooo now i am very very scared
Woohoo! I made one of BFF’s lists!
.
See, kids? If you complain often enough, you’ll get results. It’s the American way!
any one else boerd?
My native language is dutch and “boerd” sounds really funny to me (phonetic)
but i’m bored anyway
*throws a stun grenade*
That should take care of them for the night!
I wouldn’t count on it. Troll generated grenades don’t work here.
*reloads desert eagles*
Eat lead morons!
*emptys a magazine at Avis*
*is bullet-proof*
Oh im so *rips off Avis kelvar bullet vest*
Eat human grenade!
Didn’t say it was a vest.
*is completely invicible*
*Squeezes an “s” between Avis’ “i” and “c”.
Now, insert your misspelling blood into Loz’s red pen so I can return it to her.
I hate to point this out… okay no, I don’t… that “s” should be an “N”… as in invincible…
Uhggg, it happens to all of us.
*hands over test tube of blood for Loz’s pen*
*sigh*
*gently snatches grenade, puts into Britishandproud’s mouth, and hurls him into kingdom come*
BFF, so, what’s new?
Nothing much. It might snow tomorrow, though. Aah, a snowy weekend…
They’re saying that here, for tonight. And there’s a parade tonight. Right between me and where I wish to go tonight. Grrrr.
Better get the earplugs ready!
Hah! It was 19 degrees (F) yesterday AM. And we had quite a bit of snow Sunday. Winter comes early, it seems.
I already miss summer!
Is 19 degrees Fahrenheit not like -100 Celsius? (Slight exaggeration)
It sounds verrrry cold.
Winter always comes early in MI it seems.
It’s cold here, too – 66(f). I love LA. That is except for the traffic, crime, noise, earthquakes, wildfires, riots…
*pulls a mp5 navy out*
Time for sub-machine gun!
*emptys 3 magazines at mookie*
Normally I wouldn’t feed the trolls, but…
It is not called an MP5 navy, It is called an H&K MP5, in reference to the manufacturer Heckler & Koch.
Pain and Destruction Will continue tomorrow.
Bye!!!!
*stuns Avis*
*snort!*
Hi Avis! This one’s particularly bloodthirsty.
Is “bloodthirsty” a synonym for “ridiculously young and stupid”?
And hello, how are things?
Bad headache suddenly. Probably a trollanoma of the cerebellum. Trying to self-medicate with a vodka martini.
I’m using beer. And a steak. Yum!
Hey Avis. I’ve been meaning to tell you for a week now that I tried your lavender chicken recipe. It was fantastic. I could have started a restaurant based on the sandwich from the left overs. What little was left over that is.
Bacon vodka?
*sighs*
I miss the times when that was my usual… The vodka martini, i mean.
Why the nostalgia? I’ll fix you one, if you like!
My friends are all abstemious, and I’m a social drinker, so i feel
weird fixing myself a drink if i’m on my own.
Does that make any sense at all?
Not to me! Nothing like a solitary drinky! Of course, I have two young children, so I HAVE to drink.
lol!
You have 2 kids?
BTW, the lol was aimed at the “HAVE to drink”…
(just in case)
Amen Mookie.
*pours a Crown Royal*
Geez I’ve missed a ton! I would join in your libations, but it seems that I may have overdone it last night. Apparently 4 mixed drinks and 3 shots of Petron are more than this one *points to self* can safely handle.
Practice makes perfect!
(And we missed you too)
It seems to me, the older they get the more I need to drink.
How old are your kids?
Mi hijo tiene diez anos (casi), y mi hija tiene siete anos.
Oh wow!
I was picturing something like 2 and 3 years old. You look like a twenty year old in your avatar!
Huevo, you should know from our exchange of references from the 70’s that I’m much older than that!
Early thirties then.
Does your husband fix you some of the drinks as well? Or is it the other way around?
You need to recalculate! In order to remember the culture from the seventies, I would have to have been born in the 60’s – and indeed I was. In that pic I believe I was in my late thirties. Now I am 42. In my family, we all look very young!
Mookie your munchkins aren’t much younger than mine. Just wait till they hit thier pre-teen and teen phases, OH THE JOY.
Oh well, it’s reason over compliments, then.
Although, looking like that, i bet you had your share of the latter.
ATCF, my seven-year-old (girl) acts like she has PMS all the time. She’s driving us all crazy! My 10-year-old (boy), on the other hand, acts like he is 5. My life is chaos, and I have to feed turkey to 16 people in 5 days!
Y usted, EGG, cuantos anos tiene?
Re: Mookie at 37 – based on the pic I figured 30 or so as well…
.
If I may steal a quote from one of the great literary masterminds of the late 20th century…
…
“wooooaaahhh mmaaaamaa!” – B. Simpson
Real turkey?
*hugs* You’ll do great, i’m sure.
.
Anyway, i’m off. My alarm clock went off 30 minutes ago. I should get some sleep.
Nice talking to you guys!
Oh, i’m 29!
Dude, how can you even REMEMBER the 70’s???? You are so cute!
Hehe, i just like that decade, what can i say…
*Puts on pajamas*
Uh, isn’t it like, morning where you are??
Let me check… well, the sun is rising.
I have to get up in 3 hours, there’s people to meet and shrines to be built!
Enjoy your Vodka Martini!
G’night!
The EGG-man is right about my age.
I’m 35 and I barely remember the 70’s.
Yah but is that due to the drugs in the 80’s?
There is no proof to substantiate your baseless accusations sir.
whoops .. ya *shifty eyes* I had meant someone else …
oh look is that a Bill Clinton over there? *runs off*
I knew those party pictures would come back to haunt me one day.
ha I started to say … *pulls out springbreak photos*
Hee…! I loved the 80s.
In high school, I had Heart hair, and I wore stiletto heels and leather miniskirts.
Wow. I lived a sheltered life. I wore leggings and big sweaters. I did not have big hair. I DID however have a crimper.
Solid color shirts with white cuffs and collars, Capezios, Peg leg pants, thin silk ties with tie bars.
The 80’s were fun. I had blue and purple hair, bright yellow parachute pants, and tons of torn t-shirts.
Peg leg pants, Alligator logo’d polo shirts, spiked hair (3 diff colors), checkered Converse All Stars. Oh the memories
You kids with your crazy hair and clothes will never amount to anything good and stop listening to that devil music.
Wow to scared
Oh no.
*teleports At Bf and rips out BFs eyes using a 6 inch hunting knife*
British, you’ve been nuked, gunned down, blown up and sent to kingdom come. There is not logical reason whatsoever you are alive.
But, just in case:
*Locks British in TARDIS nearby. Sends the transporter to Medieval Britain and sets free there. British burnt at the stake for witchcraft. End of story. Thank you and goodnight*
*has a theory about what might happen now that we’ve passed the 200 count*
I choose to not say what it is just yet.
Clever girl! Oh, and Avis… um… BACON vodka?????!!!! Eeeewwww! (but to be fair, I’m a vegetarian).
A vegetarian lawyer?!
Whatever do you do after you rip out their hearts?
I put them in the freezer next to the vegetarian Lean Cuisines.
I know, I know. But it is surprisingly good in a bloody mary! The one time I made it I don’t think I filtered it enough times.
But if you are a vegetarian, it’s very much not for you! I’ll try and post a veggie friendly recipe soon.
Lentil vodka? Tofu vodka?
More like some kind of appetizer. Something like that.
*wonders if he can try one of Avis’s BBM (Bacony Bloody Mary).*
if you hadn’t already figured it out I’m a huge fan of bacon
I missed something. A Bacony Bloody Mary? Sounds interesting.
*vegetarian solidarity hugs for mookie*
Yeah, I meant it about Tofurkey!
I have Quorn turkey for Christmas, it even comes with stuffing!
That’s a new one on me. Stateside, most of the fake meats are made of soy.
Yeah, we have some soya-based foods but Quorn is the most widely available.
Comes in chicken form, pork form, turkey form, beef form, anything you could desire!
*pops in for quick vegetarian solidarity hug*
*pops out*
*pops in for a non-food related grope*
*poops out*
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Let that be a lesson
I think that british dude stole my comments.
Hey, Mookie and Avis, it’s girl time on failblog, let’s talk about… nails!
Mine look awful right about now, I need some help.
I’ll do them for you if you like! It’ll be a great bonding session.
I must confess, I am a terrible salon junkie! I get nails and toes done every two weeks, and facials once or twice a month. I’ve also had two massages in the past two weeks.
I’m a bit of a hedonist, I fear.
Wow! I never really got into beauty stuff. At my mother’s insistence, I now have a pedicure every few months and keep my eyebrows plucked. But any nail polish tends to be for fun, and I’ve never had them professionally done.
I couldn’t paint my own nails if my life depended on it. Whenever I try, it looks like it was done by a six year old. A six year old coming off a bender.
*bites tongue*
*covers mouth with hand*
*covers hand with other hand*
*tries really, really hard not to make any of the innuendos/ jokes
that those last 3 comments evoked*
Hard to do nails that aren’t there. I used to have acrylics, and had to stop doing that. On both hands, right now, I have no pinky finger nails. I’m hoping this will change. Soon.
Have you tried gels instead of acrylics? They’re much more natural-looking.
Technically that’s what I had. But I had to give up the habit when I stopped working at the bar. No money, no salon.
When I said no nails, I REALLY meant it. It’s a little painful.
When I was in law school and on a budget I went to the beauty supply and bought the stuff to do the acrylics myself. It’s not that hard once you get the hang of it, and it might provide some protection for your poor nails.
See comment number 178657. This is not an option.
Avis, nothing remedies an “event” more than a little pampering…
Nails??? geeez. girls. Well, I guess it coulda been worse…
Hey, don’t judge them!
I do mine every 10 days, but no salon or anything… last time my hands looked a tad too girly. I guess they wanted to give me my money’s worth.
I don’t do my own nails, but I did my dog’s nails. Hot pink on one foot and lemon yellow on the other.
EGG, you don’t know me, but theres an egg reference on Lolcats right nw
Thanks!
Wow … faggy troll is faggy.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Eliphino.
Chicken Fail and now Elephant Fail? What’s next? Whale Fail?
That’d be quite a tale.
The tale of the fail whale named dale!
We’ve got a fail that’s as big as a whale, and it’s about to set sail!
Your what?? FAAAAIIIIILLLLLLLL BLOG BUSTED
FAAIL BLOG BAA-ABY
IS IT CAPS LOCK + BOLD TIME?
WHY YES IT IS!
WOW, COOL! AND WHEN IS IT OVER? I DON’T WANT TO TYPE LIKE THIS FOREVER!
It’s over, take a bow.
ErickB – I miss you! When are you waking up???? I have to go to be soon.
*bed*
Ahhh
I think I’m 9 hours a head of you so when you typed this I was in bed .. so you should of headed to bed *grin*
Wow… It’s not even a big pony.
Did the person who captioned this really need the “Fail” after the “elephail”?
Fail with excessive fails….
I think that troll knocked my IQ down from 136 to 99 with his apparent 108 “amazing” ability to god-mod an RP that shouldn’t be happening.
I’m off to shove my head in a blender, now.
I have the same reaction to god-modders. *sympathizes*
I dunno what’s more fail, the elephant thing or the fact that they’re keeping a friggin lion in a teensy, flimsy 3-foot high aluminum portable fence.
Lion? Are you crazy?! That’s far from a lion!
What exactly is it? A goat? I can’t make it out.
It is a camel of course! Check the guy with one in the background!
That thing behind the fence is a camel? Nah! Anyone else?
The thing in the cage is a shetland pony. The thing behind is a camel.
Now that’s weird, I wonder if they have a whale to ride too.
Your eyes are better than mine! It looks like a shaggy blob to me!
That’s what she sa…. er, never mind.
Of course it is a camel! If it’s not a camel, then I’m not a robot from mars!
Lol, yeah, definitely a camel. C’mon Mookie, you’re letting the side down!
I don’t see the lion…
IT’S BEHIND YOU!
“Jesus Christ, it’s a lion!!! Get in the car!!!
I hate when my comments disappear… *pouts*
Failblog has failed, it is true.
oh wow im being shunned in soicety.
Please don’t or ill call my elf army!
*im in bed*
And if you die before you wake, we pray the lord your keyboard to take…
*yawn*
im awake now and haven’t died
ha ha, nice lunchbox.
:puts up a “do not feed the troll” sign:.
como se llama?
It’s obviously not an elephant… and there’s not nearly enough room for an adequate ride.
maybe the pony is named elephant
then that dudes insane with delusions of grandure
Elephant fail, camel win?
6/10
you have
you dont rember…
i brainwashed you