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This is a special message to loufail. I bought your BE THE FIRST ONE package, and I must say it works!
lol
You paid for Lou’s package?
I’ve seen Lou’s package. Believe me it’s worth it
Can you email pics to me?
My camera doesn’t have a wide enough angle lens.
(that would have been funnier had I known camera terminology)
It is
? Where can I buy one?!
All ‘firsts’ will be prostituted
No, but I could accept that special massage that he/she promises in the 1st post
Reading fail?
Are you interested in irony supplements?
Yes please. Thank you!!
Crow!
*hug*
Thanks for the wee message!
Wow Dragon, that’s quite a collection of signatures you have there!
I know!! I feel so loved.
Dragon!
*hugs*
Your most welcome!!
Happy Ending win?
I lol’d
I’m sure that’s not the type of happy ending that Blue was thinking of…
Uh, Lou?
The words “message” and “massage” have totally different meanings.
Don’t get yer hopes, or anything else, up yet.
“Good Divorce” is part of the “Sexuality”-section…
Break up sex ain’t bad!
Make up sex is better!!
Angry sex is the best!
Agreed.
What about Angry make up sex?
Been there, done that. And I don’t think that restaurant will EVER let us come back.
Hey, if the other customers weren’t able to enjoy the show, they don’t deserve to have you back anyway.
At the very least, THEY should have paid US. Angry make-up sex is almost always entertaining. Dinner AND a show.
“I’ll have what she’s having!”-When Harry Met Sally
I’ll have her!
-Friend while watching When Harry Met Sally
Did it involve hubby’s handcuffs?
“Waiter I’d like a private booth where
I can strip, uh search, this naughty perp.”
Yes but paying for that kind of entertainment could cause problems tax-wise. It could get messy with the IRS, and NO ONE wants to get messy with the IRS.
Gross, IRS splooge
Angry break sex is just unspeakable.
Agreed as well
Metaphor WIN
I think the concept of WIN is a metaphor
“What were you thinking?” at the very beginning of relationships…
and again in the middle of “Relationships”…
How many levels of WIN does this have?
Between the two “What Were You Thinking” books, they should have “You Slept With Her Sister, Now What?”, “Whips, Chips, Chains & Dips” & “Chloroform & Ropes Are Not On The Wedding Registry”.
Sorry, I already rented all those
The subtitle reads, “Dumbass!”
Alexandre?
Yes, the “b” is silent.
Hey, I have a cousin with that last name.
How did you make that backwards “d”?
Dude, weve all seen that one to many times.
Why fail?
Many people star a relationship after having some sexual experiences o.o
I believe Dragon has something in her purse that will help with that.
Notice the “sexuality ends here” sign before the “relationships begin here” sign?
Let me ask you this. Do people start a relationship AFTER the sexuality ENDS?
The second sign should read “Marriage begins here”. It would then be a win.
I don’t think you have to get married for the sex to dry up. Just sharing a bathroom will do that.
So true, and also so very funny!!
I was wondering what had happened….
That’s why I pee outside.
I pee upside
thats why your neighbors stare at you awkwardly
Heh, heh…
“Sex to dry up”
This is no fail. There is reason to the madness!
FAIL fai
The second sign should read “Marriage begins here”. It would then be a win.
Like the crow avatar.
I agree!
I should get an avatar myself… having 2 IPs makes my posts a bit incoherent. Well, so do I.
Thanks. It sorta makes me feel more a part of the ‘failblog family’.
Well welcome aboard and I dig it. Crows are cool.
Agreed. Wolves are, too!
Are kittens with green eyes cool?
Absotootely.
Definitely yes.
well in a cuddly way
Wolves are majestic, they surpass cool.
Actually, I completely agree. I have a wolf tattoo on my right shoulder blade, because I wanted one to be with me always.
It’s very small…a sideways silhouette–all in black–of a standing wolf howling at a little blue moon. It’s quite lovely.
Whoa! I just witnessed the missing comments suddenly appearing thing. It wasn’t my comment, but yours to emygirl. I didn’t see it when I replied. That’s a little disconcerting.
It is, rather. I do tend to show up when you’re around, though!
And of course, I’m not at all surprised that you posted a very similar comment with similar intent, even when you couldn’t see mine there.
*grin*
Good luck with that. I had at least an hour of frustration yesterday before mine started working. But I used gravatar.com, and once I figured out how to do it I really liked it.
I don’t expect to look as cute as you.
I’ll try once i get rid of this coffee, work, and this freakin’ headache.
Any suggestions on what my pic should be?
I’ll be disappointed if it’s anything other than an egg.
How ’bout yourself???? Although I do have a great egg avatar that I used on a trying-to-conceive forum a long time ago.
Well, I AM an EGG in a sense, so both your suggestions seem quite adequate.
Trying-to-conceive forum? What kind of an egg are you talking about?
Well, I wanted to use a picture of one of my eggs, but I couldn’t get the camera to focus… So I settled for a standard chicken egg.
Did that focus?
Oh, Gawd… lame. Coffee time!
[Back with coffee]
So… would it be weird if i used your egg?
Which one????
*Blushes*
Is it too much to ask for both?
Oh, you know there’s nothing I won’t do for a pal!
*Fantasizes*
Er… so, how do we do this?
Grab a book off the shelf. Make sure you take one from the left side.
Will the avatar be there?
EGG, I’m not sure this will work, but click my name and see if an egg avatar shows. You can right click on it and save it to your hard drive, then download that pic to gravatar. If you don’t like that egg, I’ve got another one.
It worked!
*Adds that to the list of things to point out at the fanclub members*
Mmmh, i’m intrigued now… Yes i’d like to see what’s behind courtain number 2!
(Thanks and thanks in advance!)
OK, here’s a pirate egg.
*replaces ‘at’ with ‘to’*
Thanks!
I’ll try to upload it from home in a couple of hours.
I owe you one!
And here’s a fried egg.
Let me know if you have something else in mind. I’m such a dork, I actually like doing things like this!
Hahaha!
Sure, I’ll let you know!
I don’t know if i wanna look fried… This is a tough crowd here, and i got my share of puns yesterday.
Btw, Soup?
Oh, yesterday was FUN!
Aww, what did I miss?
About 5 hours worth of egg related puns.
LOL!
I know…any day now I think we can expect a Mookie/EGG bloglet!
How does one get an avatar
?* Gosh, I’m not ending any of my sentences with proper punctuation.
gravatar.com
Okay, Let’s see if this worked
*chuckle* nope still missing the ending punctuation
Damn. And now, scatter these: .!.. as you see fit among the rest of my posts.
I think that covers it.
Lovely red swirl you got there Random Act. And if instead of gravatar.com
you use wordpress you can give yourself different display names.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
typo fail
It’s not a typo. The section is the ‘Relationships Section’.
If they’d written ‘Relationships begin here’ it would sound very strange.
*Takes irony supplement*
Nope, I still don’t get it.
I think you failed to read the directions on the irony supplements.
Um…that was a bottle of birth control pills. The irony supplements are over here…
really i thought i used them all already… i feel slpeey *yawn*
I thought the irony supplement was a suppository?
i was referring to my typo in a prevous post
I think Worm is referring to “fai” as the typo.
Still planning on getting that tatoo today?
No
I’m too sick to leave the house really lol. Postponed till when I’m better 
That’s a truth win!
So true so true.
This one’s a fail fail.
Except for “Why He’s Married to Mom” right in the middle of “Sexuality.”
Well, that’s just disgusting!
LOL
That’s not disgusting.
Disgusting would be “While he’s married to Mom” right in the middle of “Sexuality”.
LOLOLOL!
Also, ew.
Disturbed by thoughts heretical,
A husband hypothetical
Came to this Fail Incredible
And read of his urges Oedipal
*applaud*
*applauds and takes a bow, and turns into your agent for promoting your new poetry pocket*
I’d like to point out the Pornology book at the bottom….
nice
I’d like to book a nice pornology at the bottom point.
Aww this is sad.
but true! Har!
That’s not so much a fail as a “truth in advertising” win…
Truth? In advertising? Not possible.
Am I seeing things, or is there a Nascar book to the sexuality side? This joint must be near a Wal-Mart.
Boyfriend Training! Ill have to get that one.
You don’t need a book for that! Just a nice rack and a rubber hose.
Hurray I have both!!
In the relationship section, Perfect Husbands. LOL
Yeah, oxymoron.
I was fixing to say…
I was a great husband. I cooked, cleaned, and even got up in the middle of the night with both my kids. I worked full time, she wanted to stay home. I mean no one is perfect, but I darn sure tried.
You sound like a keeper.
Aww thanks Mookie. You made me
You should have added the word “smile” before the actual smile. The way you have it now, it seems like you’re talking to your parents. That is, unless Mookie IS your parent… o.O
So what happened?
(Don’t answer if you don’t feel like it)
To paraphrase a line from “Liar Liar”; While we were married I wasn’t having sex nearly as often as she was.
How old are the kids now???
My son is 13 and my daughter is 12. Hoping by summer to have them both living with me full time instead of this joint-custody arrangement.
*Wishes you luck*
Thanks. It’s pretty much a no-brainer given the kids’ ages and all. The courts pretty much go based on the decision of the child at thier ages. That plus a few other factors and I’m almost sure I’ll have full custody next summer.
My parents split up when I was 11, and by the time I was 14 I went to live with my dad full time (by my choice).
We split up when my son was 4. And I moved down to detroit to find better work (and get further away from her). But I’ve since moved back north to be closer to my kids. They keep asking when they can come live with me, that’s why im pushing for summer of next year.
How was that? Do you think it affected you in a good way?
For some reason all my friends (except one) had either divorced parents or widow mothers…
How was that? Do you think it affected you in a good way?
For some reason all my friends (except one) had either divorced parents or widow mothers…
Echo??
EGG – it was good they split up b/c noone wanted to be around my mother. It let us both get away from her.
ASCF – I’m in the greater detroit area. Where are you now “up north?” Still in Mich?
Some yesterday’s comments didn’t show up. I guess Failblog is ccompensating me for that…
I used to work for Superior Designs out of Rochester Hill. Worked all over the greater metro area. And yes I’m still in Mich. I live in Gladwin, a very rural area.
Egg, I had the same problem last night and this morning. I am still not sure if mine are showing up. They are there when I post them and gone when I go back. It’s a conspiracy!
Mookie – Glad to hear that! I have yet to figure out why i’m attracted to these kind of people though.
All – You’re neighbours? Lucky you!!
Ryannon – It’s probably the rainbows… Also, i’ve noticed some comments get posted late at earlier positions.
I can’t believe you two live in MI, I love when people are from Michigan. I grew up near Detroit and I currently go to U of M.
I went to law school at U of M.
I never attended U of M, but I’ve been there for many football games.
I love our football team, but I haven’t been able to go to the games to often since last season
Ouch.
Yeah, it sucked. But it was a long time ago, and I’m so over it. Besides, karma is a great thing. Her life now is so much worse than when we were together. Makes me smile just thinking about it. I know that sounds harsh and evil, but it’s my little bit of satisfaction what she put me through.
Schadenfreude is only natural.
Ok I had to look that word up, but yeah I guess it is sometimes.
Damn sorry I missed all that, my little one accidenty her diaper. ATCF, you do indeed sound like a keeper! And karma is wonderful, isn’t it?
Thanks Katy.
And yes, karma is a wonderful thing indeed.
*hugs crow*
That sucks…you sound great, and I hope you find someone you can be happy with.
Thanks dragon!
I’ve dated off and on. Nothing to write home about tho. For now I’m perfectly content just working and spending time with my kids.
You are a good dad crow. One of my nieces want to meet her bio-father for the first time a couple of years ago. He sent her home with a massively blackened eye.
*blink*
Hm. Well…where is he, and do you prefer rare, medium, well-done, or cajun-blackened?
Is there a volcanic ash setting?
make me an evil spirited person?
The good news is that I hear he has had a major heart attack and is looking at some big ol’ surgery.
Does that
If he live in Michigan let me know, I’ve got connections with the State Police.
And thank you coyote for the compliment. I come from a divorced family and my father is a “deadbeat dad”. I vowed never to make that mistake with my kids.
EGG, forgive if this is too personal, but what line of work are you in?
No problem at all. I did suggest you worked in a law firm
a few fails ago.
Telco related. Why do you ask?
You are quite the wordsmith. I figured that is either reflected in your job, or in your education. Lit major?
Also, I have no idea what Telco is.
Me? Wordsmith? I wish!
I’m no lit major, i’m afraid. But i’m taking that as a compliment!
Telco = Telecommunications.
It’s probably because English isn’t my mother tongue…
What is, if I may be so bold?
Spanish.
Perhaps your avatar could be a Spanish omelet?
Nah, i rather go with the international egg. Or is it continental?
Testing…
Yay! Thanks again Mookie!
*Resumes shrine-building*
Don’t mention it!
He prostitutes trespassers.
That’s just a hobbie of mine. I offer them for free (500 yen) and if you pay one session at twice the price you get the rest free for an unlimited time of 45 minutes (trespassers not included in this promo).
I understand that feeling all to well. Its good to know that people
who hurt others get what they deserve.
Jeez not cool
Only in America would this happen. If it did happen in Britain, the shop would be closed down and the owners taken into the cellar and beaten with sticks.
Ah Britain, one of the only places you cant play Christmas carols in your store as it is dubbed as “noise pollution” and to be politically correct.
…have you actually BEEN in a British store over Christmas?!
I dread working (part-time in retail) over Christmas, purely because of that reason, lol.
Yeah I have….just trying to get people past the stereotype of American stupidity.
Not that I’m American myself (I’m from Australia).
Stereotyping annoys me is all.
Lol yeah I have…I just don’t like people stereotyping.
I was trying to get the point across to some that other places than America do stupid things as well.
Even though I’m actually from Australia…..:)
*HUG!!!*
With pointed sticks?
Cellar, sticks, leather straps. restraints, hmmmm sexuality begins here.
Cellar, sticks, leather straps, restraints, hmmmm sexuality begins here!
One more time?
Only once? No really, I don’t get it. The first time it wasn’t there so I said it again. Then when I clicked it was there twice. Does that happen often?
Yeah it does. Don’t worry it happens to the best of us.
Not every time, just more than half.
Yes, it happens alot.
Yes, it happens alot. Sometimes intentionally.
sex with relationship = incest
Sex + Relative = Incest
Sex + Relationship = WIN
Maybe his relationships are only with his relatives?
i find it amusing that the blue book to the right reads what were you thinking. hahaha
Also amusing that they have multiple copies of it
Asked myself that quite a few times… they have a book on it?
Yikes! “When He’s Married to Mom” is on the Oedipal er, I man… sexuality side.
LOL
…
Holy Sh*t is that a truth WIN!!!
I like how “Sexuality” is immediately followed by “Sexuality Ends Here”.
For some, it’s longer than others
Like A to Z?
Does anyone else see that book beside Good Divorce, looks like it says something about Mom?
I was actually planning on going to the Strand today. Wonder if it still looks like this picture…
It certainly does look much like that. Be forewarned; it’s in the basement with religion and philosophy!
Bless the Strand!
“What Were you Thinking?” … lol
Points for being in both the “Relationships” section TWICE.
At what point in the evolution of internet slang did “fail” come to mean “win”?
That’s funny, because I see that in people consistently.
Its nice to laugh.
thanks from tony
Yay this post from the Strand! Ahhh bookstore humor. I can’t get enough.
To quote family guy: IRO-O-O-O-O-NY!!!!
Cheers!
xoxoxo
I made with photoshop glitter myspace banners.
have a look at them:
http://tinyurl.com/66dwoa
Thank you 4 your site
theres is no fail here, just the truth.
does it go left to right or right to left?
haha in the sexuality section there’s a book called “Good Divorce”
Very true! really. hehehe
HAHAHAHA
“boyfriend training” WTF…
wait, un-sigh, cool!