Mentos are all about regular jerks getting a break. That total bitch who pretended she was pregnant and about to go into labor and then pulled out a scooter helmet and left at the front of the valet line did NOT deserve the Mentos thumbs-up!!
Who needs spycams, just use the Magic Mirror from Romper Room. You can see everyone at the same time. I see mookie and B2th and avis and dragon and lou and katy…
After a undefeated day of successful exploits of the “1st trick”, avoiding lame “First!” comments and accumulating plenty of bad karma over myself, I do declare that I never again shall be the 1st on any failblog entry.
Haha, I managed to stop a “First!” from happening a week or so ago. Does that ever feel good.
I love the site, but the comments section here is so cult-like that it is hardly even worth reading IMO. Once in a while, when I am genuinely interested in a pic/video I will read. Once again I’ve found myself sidetracked by off-topic gibberish.
I would love to see discriminated comments. One section for people who want to talk about the pic/vid, another for people who want to talk about themselves and practice their wit.
Maybe if the CEOs would manage their companies properly instead of just taking lots of money for themselves and expecting the government to bail them out, we wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.
Did you see them , when asked if they flew commercial to get to DC? And if they would be willing to sell the corporate jet & fly commercial home? “A show of hands, please.”
Run to the hills!!
Buy or stole a herd of sheep to secure food (and maybe pleasure) and wool for the next months!!
Learn what are the edible vegetables and bury them into the ground for growing trees full of them!!
*blinks* Did someone call me? I thought I heard my name? *scans thread*
Oh, the innuendo machine again… it’s keeping me warm right now, since it’s downright frigid outside today!
Since my browser spell checker allows me to write lasagna, and most of my posts are generated by that helpful but capricious piece of software, I will use this form for the singular (in Spanish is “lasaña”, we took the word from Italian)
Yes, EGG, we’ve discussed this. However, the Italians never use the word ‘lasagna’ (see Marco’s post above), it seems only the Americans do.
Could you make a lasagne with only one sheet of lasagne? No. You use multiple sheets. Therefore it’s always plural. Therefore it’s lasagnE. (I’m guessing that’s the reasoning behind it.)
Lou, I have some Lasagna and various other kids of Pasta Seeds for sale. I’m afraid I don’t carry the Dora and Sponge Bob Pasta seeds, as they’re licensed and proprietary. For the Kiddies I do carry seeds that grow a nice assortment of Body Parts Pasta Shapes that look great in a red sauce.
And if you hurry I might be able to ship you a Waffle Tree that you could plant and have fresh waffles in early Spring.
Well, I don’t know yet who is male or female unless it is blatantly obvious by their pic/name/postings.
When I was pregnant, I once ate Cool Ranch Doritos dipped in grape jelly. And it was fantastic.
“Cool Ranch Doritos dipped in grape jelly” *giggles a lot*
Reminds me of driving all over the town at 11:30PM looking for a specific local brand, (Zapps), of Spicy Dill Pickle Flavoured Potato Chips in every 24 Hour Mini-mart, Gas Station, and vending machine location I could find.
When I finally returned home with 2 2OZ Bags to my pregnant wife some time after 12:45AM, I found her sound asleep with an empty box of Vanilla Wafers and crumbs all over my side of the bed.
And yes, we’re still married after 25 years.
Dammit…now I have a hankering for a really lovely crispy pork mole…mmmmmmmmm.
We were by no means the first culture to combine chocolate and pork, you know. If you’re going to despise us for it, it’s only fair that you despise the Mexicans just as much.
*offers Avis some chocolate covered bacon* *has enough for everyone so offers it for any who want a yummy treat* And for you doubting Thomases out there .. *looks at Loz* the thing is American bacon is different than European bacon. So get you some nice yummy American bacon and fry it up nice and crisp. Meanwhile get your fondue set out and get to melting some nice bittersweet chocolate (or dark ….. dark chocolate). Once your bacon is good and crispy, pat it dry and let cool for a couple of minutes. Now either dip it in the melty goodness or sppon over the strips and allow to cool .. or hell why wait .. enjoy
80 what? damnit don’t keep us in suspense!
.
Re: Dragon *chuckle* that was exactly my reaction the first tim.. um first time I tried the bacon-chocolate goodness …
.
and now for another one: last year? we had a fondue party at the hose and my friend made dates-wrapped-in-bacon-coated-with-honey … talk about droolingly delicious
Um…the number of chocolate covered bacon strips it would take to burst my aorta? And Dragon I can now see your new dragon. It is a good match for it’s wearer, ferociously beautiful.
I thought the Ulster flag was our official one, I may be wrong though.
If it is, that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone is happy about it, lol.
If it’s not, I’ll fly the Union Jack or the Irish Tricolour, depending on my mood *loves having dual-citizenship*
1: “PhotoShopped!” (”if you look closely enough…”)
2: “I’ve been right there / lived there before / seen it.”
3: “My friend took this picture / told me about it.”
4: Inane comment repeated for the 4nd or 11rd time.
5: Clueless Guess(es) as to the true meaning.
6: Inside joke to/from a “Regular” poster.
7: Standard “accidenty” Missing Verb Gag.
8: Smart assed reply to Missing Verb Gag.
9: Grammer / Punctuation ; Word’s Usage \ Spelling Mistake.
10: Rare & Truly Insightful Witty Comment Worthy of Praise.
11: *Descriptive Action(s) of Commenter *
12: Burn / Put Down / Comeback / FOOOOOM!.
13: SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!!
14: Trite crap everyone is tired of.
15: Pun Fun Times & Fun Rhymes.
16: “In Soviet Russia fill in blank you,” joke.
17: Troll comment of any sort that everyone ignores.
18: Unrelated comment from illiterate fool.
Awww, my delecate flower girl, I have no desire to bum you out. Please feel free to add more to the list, such as;
19: Take the fun out of k-k-katy’s life.
Ah, before I wander off to die in misery and despair, I must say that you’re certainly really on top of things there Loz & Bond. Such quick witty replies and grammatical skill should earn you enough false accolades and wry praise to last you lifetimes. Good luck in your true endeavors because being just barely a step above the “trolls” that you deplore can’t be your true life’s goal. Perhaps it’s just the nature of the British to harbor a false sense of superiority to mask the dourness of a lackluster existence.
SB, I told you this on an earlier thread, but I don’t know if you ever saw it. Last year we had a tree cut down and the workmen brought me a newborn squirrel, the size of my thumb, pink, eyes covered w/membranes and ears shut. I raised him (”Squeaker”) with an eyedropper. When he was 10 months old we released him in our back yard, and we’ve seen him in our yard since.
Awwwwwwwwww!
I think my childhood teddies got destroyed through overenthusiastic dragging around. I had a giant puss-in-boots called Shoobie-loo and all his stuffing escaped.
I think you should photo Hideous Obox to avatar him.
Awwwwwwwwww!
The most excitingly named teddy I had as a kid was a puss-in-boots called Shoobie-loo. His stuffing escaped.
I think you should photo Hideous Obox and avatar him.
Actually, both harbor and lackluster are acceptable in the U.S. Don’t really know why, but we Americans aren’t really big on the “ou” in words (harbour, colour, etc), although I rather like it.
Oh my goodness…what a fun troll! One who claims to be above trollish behavior, and yet cloaks his trollishness in a thin veneer of erudition and sophistication!
…I eat trolls like this for breakfast. I’m kinda hoping he comes back, because I’m getting a little peckish.
Actually, it could. It sounds a LOT like him. The air of patronizing condescension…the undertones of “I know what you are so much better than you do”…the false sense of superiority and using big words to mask real ignorance…it’s all there.
What is it with you trolls?
Why do you keeping ruining other people’s fun? The only thing I can decribe them as are ’sado-masochists’-they know they’re going to be humiliated, yet they take enjoyment in humiliating others.
Ah, so Bond, your attempt to ruin MY fun is what?
A: Fine because it’s YOU doing it
B: Fine because you are smarter, are wittier, have been here longer, etc.
C: Fine because you get praised for it
D: Fine because only you, of all people, truly understand my motivations behind all that I post using your magical fail-abilities
E: Fine since you think that your posting “rules” or condemning others will make this forum just like you and all your lil’ buddies want it
F: Grow up, grow wiser, get a real life that includes the outdoors w/o electronics, get a real job, pay taxes, raise a family, grow a set of balls, mellow out and realize that your opinion counts as much as everyone else’s in the real world, as a whole, you’re absolutely insignificant.
Yes it IS fine when BondFan does it. Because WE the rest of us say so. Take your own advice. And get over the fact that you got owned by a fourteen year old.
I thought WE were an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week– But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting– By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs– But by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major decisions.
And you are somehow better? I would love to know how, seeing as you have had nothing but time to reply in length to all of your counters. And, as you quote, “F: Grow up, grow wiser, get a real life that includes the outdoors w/o electronics, get a real job, pay taxes, raise a family, grow a set of balls, mellow out and realize that your opinion counts as much as everyone else’s in the real world, as a whole, you’re absolutely insignificant.”
I’m sure you’re doing all of those things, while sitting on your computer.
I would LOVE to see you get up at 4:30 am, get some muscle tone and steel toe boots, and come to Puget Sound Naval Shipyard every day where I work, and I’ll teach you how to weld, torchcut, write up and read blueprints and welding diagrams and fabricate nuclear submarines and aircraft carriers, pay Union dues, taxes, and leave at the end of the day knowing that you, as the smallest, youngest FEMALE boilermakers union instructor in the Northwest, have been a large part of making an amazing vessel that will house up to 1,200 sailors during wartime tours, and in essence, have helped the government, the Navy, and without you, 97 boilermakers and all of the workers that depend on us to make the foundations on which thier work will be done, could not have accomplished much. Ah, I just LOVE staring blankly at men who think they are great, and telling them what I, as a small weak-minded female, do for a living, while they sit at thier computers in thier thinking about thier next WoW match. Oh, the outdoors. Wouldn’t know much about those, either, being a Park Aide for the Olympic National Forest during summer months. I’ll go cry in a corner and dwell upon my sad existance now.
Hell Hath No Fury:
Hey, CHILL, I’ve NO problem with you. In fact you sound like quite an impressive & significant person. Perhaps you should reread what I wrote, how do you think it had ANYTHING to do with YOU and your life?
It was all aimed mainly at BondFan and a little at Loz, Avis and others for their cutting and undeserved remarks, which they will gleefully dole out often to any newcomer that doesn’t conform to their ideas of how FailBlog should be. Where in I listed #’s 1 thru 18 I was commenting on exactly how I’ve noticed that it is consistently. BondFan and Loz and others all fall into some of those 18 categories regularly. The “you’re absolutely insignificant” part of my comment is more aimed at the “absolute insignificance” of FailBlog Comments in the big scheme of things rather their young still forming lives.
Eh, 99.9% of all failblog commenters fall into your 18 categories, whether they’re regulars or not. That’s just how we roll here, all of us. If you don’t like it, you know what to do.
Cutting remarks are usually made in jest, as it is assumed that most people here can take a joke. You, it seems, need to enroll in dragon’s Humo(u)r 101 class.
Eh, 99.9% of all failblog commenters fall into your 18 categories, whether they’re regulars or not. That’s just how we roll here, all of us. TRUE that’s why I put them there. It wasn’t to troll for asshole’s cuts and comebacks. It was to further discussion of inherent other traits of the FailBlog Forum
If you don’t like it, you know what to do. Be Cutting & Hurtful? Be Rude Pointedly Rude towards a Commenter? Act Pompous & Immature like the you with your little red pen and dislike of American English Spelling?
Cutting remarks are usually made in jest, as it is assumed that most people here can take a joke. True, most can, but some can’t and until you know a person you can never be sure how you might affect their psyche
You, it seems, need to enroll in dragon’s Humo(u)r 101 class. I love Ms. Dragon’s Wit, Humo(u)r, and Puns. She is rarely if ever pointedly
hurtful, pompous, condescending or childish (a lesson you might well learn from her).
Thanks for your willingness to “converse” civilly I have previously enjoyed many of your posts and hope to return to that soon.
That said, I’m afraid that I cannot say the same about you. What you did here was the equivalent of walking onto a neighborhood playground–a neighborhood where everyone knows each other and you are the new kid–and pointing out how everyone there adheres to a specific stereotype. When we resisted said stereotypes, you lashed out with unkind accusations and abusive language.
Excuse Miss Dragonwriter: cite examples please… like where “unkind accusations and abusive language” was not deserved after I received equally the same type of crap? i was attacked first and repeatedly by various “smartie pants” that escalated things.
playground is quite an apt description, thank you. so rather than being inviting and saying “hi new person, welcome and please ignore the good humo(u)red things we throw at you for no reason except to be “cutesie” It seems the kids on this playground shun those not in their little cliques. Gee, just how biased and bigoted and phobic are you all?
for some odd reason I can type eloquently and get blasted but you,
Ms. Dragonwriter, a lit/english prof, get a pass for being erudite? Is it that they just don’t understand the words or that they’re not used to being repremanded having had their way for so long without conscience and consequences
have fun with you red pens and snappy replies, i’ve decided to hang around because there are a few nice people in here that don’t feel threatened by someone new, plus I like the fails and run on sentences and speelling things wrong sometimes when the mood hits me which is one of those days this is.
You are mistaken…katy jokingly made a “you took all the fun away!” comment, and Loz corrected a spelling mistake. These were not attacks, and yet you responded with this:
“Ah, before I wander off to die in misery and despair, I must say that you’re certainly really on top of things there Loz & Bond. Such quick witty replies and grammatical skill should earn you enough false accolades and wry praise to last you lifetimes.” Etc, etc. Your contempt was unmistakable. The others came to the defense of their friends, as we are wont to do.
Had you responded humo(u)rously, or even kindly, you would have been welcomed very differently, I assure you. As I said, just ask katy, Blue2th, Lunchbox, Marius, and others who have found their way into our midst and our hearts. There is no clique. We are of many differences here. We just don’t like trolls and bullies.
I did not blast your eloquence. I blasted the fact that you were USING such lovely language to mask something very ugly. Please read more carefully.
And trust me…I don’t get a pass for anything. I spend more time with the halibut and pudding bukkit than many people here. I just don’t take myself so seriously that I can’t admit that I make mistakes. I do…lots of ‘em. The folks here seem to forgive me for it, though.
I wholeheartedly agree with you here Dragon. There’s one tiny little word that makes (almost) everyone here different from Everything Else: Humility.
We ALL readily admit when we’ve ‘failed’, goofed, made an unfair comment, or said something off-colo(u)r. Perhaps that is the fact lost on Everything Else right now. Being willing to admit our mistakes, and ‘take’ the punishment the other commenters here dole out, is what makes this such an enjoyable place to spend our free time.
Rather than lecturing you (Everything Else) with more, I simply suggest this: go get your dictionary (you obviously know how to use one), and look up the word Humility. Then, practice it daily, for the rest of your life. Dude, don’t take yourself so seriously, this is the internet.
It is late, and I am tired, so I won’t wax quite so eloquent, but..I wholeheartedly agree. I only started posting here, what, a week ago? And all of the ribbing here should be taken in good fun. I’ve been on both sides (the ribber and the ribbee) and I have NEVER taken any offense at any comments directed my way. Because, like Lunchbox says, it’s just the internet.
“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands but a continent that joins to them.”
I also agree with dragon. I just started posting here recently. And though I consider myself an intelligent person, I have fallen flat on my face several times with grammar and spelling/punctuation errors. Also to cite a great example…On a previous fail I misunderstood a comment by TMI, and given my bad day was in a particularly foul mood already, jumped right on the defensive. TMI explained that his comment was not directed to me in anyway. I humbly said “sorry”, he accepted and we moved on. All of the ribbing and jests are in good fun, and I for one am happy to post here on an irregular basis for laughs and a good time with some very sharp-witted people.
If you’ll permit me to bring up earlier examples:
Your first post listed various types of comments on Failblog. k-k-katy’s reply was that you’d taken the fun out of it. Your reply was: “Awww, my delecate flower girl, I have no desire to bum you out. Please feel free to add more to the list, such as;
19: Take the fun out of k-k-katy’s life.”
This could be construed as overly sarcastic and insulting. On the other hand – and I think this was how you meant it – it could be a good-natured, teasing comment between friends. The problem is, tones don’t translate well over the Internet, and we haven’t known you long enough to know when you’re joking or not.
Loz then corrected your spelling, as she does with almost every misspelled post; it’s happened to me too. Her exact words were: “delicate*
You’re great fodder for my pen.” This could also be seen as a casual, joking comment, since Loz does this often and didn’t seem to show any particular animosity. You, however, seemed to take great offense to her comment and replied in the following fashion:
“Ah, before I wander off to die in misery and despair, I must say that you’re certainly really on top of things there Loz & Bond. Such quick witty replies and grammatical skill should earn you enough false accolades and wry praise to last you lifetimes. Good luck in your true endeavors because being just barely a step above the “trolls” that you deplore can’t be your true life’s goal. Perhaps it’s just the nature of the British to harbor a false sense of superiority to mask the dourness of a lackluster existence.”
That comment was unnecessarily rude to people who’d done no more to you than they had to anyone else. You’re wrong in that you were “attacked first” with “the same type of crap”. Had you just stepped back a bit and taken their comments lightly, as you were probably meant to, or even apologized after you insulted them so thoroughly, we wouldn’t be attacking you right now.
I won’t cut and paste it here—you can see it in my guestbook on my website if you want to read it—but the gist of it is that he is sorry. He realizes that his attitude was not the best today, and that he let too much intolerance slip through his fingers into his posts. He asked me to forgive his “impertinent diatribes” and to let you all know that he’ll be back to quietly lurking while he works on a more positive frame of mind.
I have to say…it was a lovely gesture, and one he was under no obligation to make. I’m not sure why he wrote on my website rather than posting on the blog, but…he did want all of you to know.
So, Something Else…if you see this—thank you. I very much appreciated your message, and I hope you are feeling more yourself soon.
Owwh, from Puget sound? Say HELLO to Bainbridge Island for me please, see Winslow & give my regards! See Lynwood Center, is the tide high? How are the school there now? As advanced as planned?
Good for you ! Reach out & leave no regrets!
Well, I have no regard FOR you, so I certain don’t want any regard FROM you. You can keep your empty regards to yourself…much like your labels, your narrow little definitions, and your contempt.
And just ask Lunchbox, Mikey D, Blue2th, and katy how we treat newcomers who are smart, funny, and playful here. If you can’t differentiate between respectful ribbing amongst friends (hee! puns are ribbed for your pleasure!) and true antagonism…well, it’s no wonder you are confused about your reception here.
If your idea of fun is to post anti-blog manifestos(oes?) on a more-or-less friendly forum with the (apparent) purpose of:
A: Making the experience less enjoyable for others
B: Elliciting some sort of emotional response
C: to make yourself seem/feel special
Or whatever other reason you may have, then I suggest that it isn’t the rest of us that need lives, because it seems we are the ones who are enjoying ourselves. BTW, when you say get a real job, you do realize that many of the people here are, in fact, currently employed.
If you don’t find the comments section to be a worthwile experience, maybe just don’t come here anymore, and do something you consider to be more worthwhile.
Oh, and another thing, you seemed perfectly content to join in on #15, up where everyone was listing possible meanings for GM. What changed since then?
Seriously, dude, you need to realize that unless you’re just site-hopping, you will get jumped on by every single person on FailBlog at one time or another. It’s happened to me, it’s happened to BondFan… and it’s happened to you. The difference is, we just take it as it is (the ramblings of bored Failbloggers looking for a way to fill up some time) and move on. Chill.
I have to admit I lol’d at some of the things in your list.
People have already said this, but to sum it up…
Just because it’s true doesn’t mean its bad.
if you really think those comments are so sophomoric, then why, dear mentally superior friend, are you adding to the success of the websites that harbor them, and becoming one of the people that add such comments? You sure seem to pay quite a bit of attention to have memorized them all.
*of which mine are all #10’s, kthx.*
Now I am ashamed of myself for complaining. You folks have the right to grip all you want. My eldest daughter’s fiancé is on his second tour along with her Godfather and quite a few of our other friends. I read you were do leave soon. Go easy on the R&R.
no by all means complain! It’s all we have left as we get older. And It’s so much easier over here this time around. And yup about 45 more days and I think I will finally see some great pyramids.
Here, Here!!! Bring beer Here!!! I’m working now, so no toast yet. However, tomorrow morning brings Kegs & Eggs, our sporadic tradition of breakfast of Smithwicks/Guinness and (you guessed it) eggs at the local Irish pub.
So, tomorrow morning, I will raise a frosty pint in honor of all of you, whom I consider friends. And in honor of the trolls, since they offer so much entertainment value!
In an odd sort of way the trolls make us a closer knit community.
And what bar is open that early on a Friday? Bars aren’t allowed to be open that early here in chi-town.
That explains much. We had a few firemen ask us to open the bar for them one morning at seven (they asked a week or two in advance of the the morning in question) and we had to decline. They were even gonna bring a few cops who had just gotten off duty. We would have had nothing to fear. But we still decided not to do it. Thankfully they understood. And no, I don’t work there anymore.
1. So clearly fake, like totally.
2. That was my uncle’s friend’s neighbor in the car, right near my house.
3. I heard it first hand from the cop.
4. I’m watching you!
5. They were trying new parking positions.
6. Have a sense of humor, why don’t you.
7. I accidenty the car all the way up.
8. I accidenty you all the way up.
9. Why excuse me, it’s “accidentally”.
10. And people wonder why there are so many accidents that could’ve been prevented, and lives that could’ve been saved.
11. *masturbates*
12. Owned.
13. OMFG HILARIOUS!!!!1!!
14. First!
15. bah, someone else can take care of #15.
16. In Soviet Russia, cars mount you!
17. Oh wow.
18. Frozen water works as ice, lol.
Was not. And if you think it was, prove it.
(I’m tired of the “old fail” comments. There was just one repeated fail on failblog (that I know of), so if you think it was posted before, prove it or shuddup).
….In other news, FailParliament passed a bill decreeing that the purchase of foghorns/bringing them to FailBlog as been been banned and punishment will be being sent to the Troll cage, and being burnt by Dragonwriter’s flamethrower.
Not at all. But I live downtown. Sorta. I see more accidents on the LSD in one month than most see in a decade anywhere else. A few weeks ago we had 9 in one night. 6 of those happened within 10 minutes!
It happened around October 13th of this year. And apparently (via CNN) all the guy got was a $200 ticket (in addition to the first ticket) and he has to take a defensive driving course. Uh, I’d say that was intentional and he should have his freaking license revoked. I liked how calm the cop stayed even after it happened. I would have forcibly removed the guy from his car with my baton if I was that guy.
Sparta kinda sucked. No Zeppelin. Though their desire for Zeppelin made them good warriors. They wanted Zeppelin so bad, they became the biggest badasses of their time. But not badass enough to get any Zeppelin. Sucks to be them.
It’s a matter of simple/freak accident electrical issues: When he tried to open the window, the signal got sent to the transmission instead, putting the car in reverse. The door sensor also somehow became the ignition. The officer clearly should have realized this.
Ugh. This is all so confusing. I have no idea who I’m suppose to like /dislike on this blog. People I thought were cool are now trolls. People I thought were trolls are now cool. People I thought were friends are not….It’s dogs and cats living together…total MASS HYSTERIA….AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!
Is the Internet crashing (like this car)?
I’m watching you, Lou!
I’m watching you, Mookie!
I’m watching you, Skwerlly Bob!
I’m watching you, mr. cuddles!
I’m watching you, BondFan4518!
Big Brother is watching you, titaniumspork19!
*makes some sort of lame joke about a watched pot that won’t boil*
I couldn’t figure out how to phrase it. I blame the sinus medication I just took.
You combo breaker jerk!
We all need a “jerk break” at times.
Is that an obscure masturbation reference?
either that or a reference to Steve Martin.
Erm…not so obscure as that, raelalt!
What do you mean?
I don’t get it.
And you never will.
Mentos, the Jerk Breaker.
Mentos are all about regular jerks getting a break. That total bitch who pretended she was pregnant and about to go into labor and then pulled out a scooter helmet and left at the front of the valet line did NOT deserve the Mentos thumbs-up!!
drop one in a bottle of coke!
you mean a commercial?
Normally, I’d smack you, but that was perfect
*masturbates*
Oooh…
JERK ME, JERK ME!!!
(only if you’re a female though)
I’m watching you jerk break!
^
|_________ masturbates
FATALITY
We all need a “turk fake” at times.
…
…What’s everyone looking at me for!
I’m watching you Killerwit!
im watching you killerwit! (now we can start again)
Big Brother is watching you break combos, Killerwit!
Win!
Bow chicka bow wow!
I’m watching Killerwit during his “Jerk break”
well said killerwit
The Jerk Store called…
noodleguy, k-k-k-katy, BondFan4518, titaniumspork19, mr. cuddles and Skwerlly Bob are all watching your “jerk break” Killerwit…
k-k-k-katy, the true epic fail here is you name
Ach… that would HURT. Fortunately you just made me lose my boner.
I’m watching you big brother / bondfan…
I’m watching you, titaniumspork19
…I’m more than a little creeped out, thanks.
I’m watching you Bond, watching Mr Cuddles, watching Skwerlly Bob, watching Mookie watching Lou!
I’m putting spycams in each of your houses.
I’m putting a pox on both your houses.
Chicken or small?
Soup or penis?
Soup pox?
Avis missed the joke
Chicken penis?
Thanks but I’ll pass.
Haha…hawt…
*clucks*
I did NOT! I made a different one!
What, the joke about penis pox in chicken houses? I got it.
That’s the one!
*snert*
As of yestrday i can now offer Pierced Penis
any takers
penis. definitely.
jerk break!
*masturbates*
Syphilis!
Box pox?
Nox.
… on fox in sox in box.
I’m putting pins in both of your voodoo dolls.
Ouch!
*giggles maniacally*
Argh! I’ve got pins and needles in both my feet!
Maybe you shouldn’t be on Failblog while the accupuncturist is working?
in soviet russia voodoo doll puts pins in you
Theres no such thing as soviet Russia…Dumb ass
Who needs spycams, just use the Magic Mirror from Romper Room. You can see everyone at the same time. I see mookie and B2th and avis and dragon and lou and katy…
you all fail at good commenting
i’m cuddling with you, mr. watches!
Heehee! (I liked this comment.)
After a undefeated day of successful exploits of the “1st trick”, avoiding lame “First!” comments and accumulating plenty of bad karma over myself, I do declare that I never again shall be the 1st on any failblog entry.
Wise words from loufail.
*applauses*
applause is a noun, not a verb.
Applauds would be the word you’re looking for.
*Hands yfh a capital A*
*Makes a snerky comment about people who live in glass houses*
They should put their bathrooms in the basement?
Hee hee!
Not the exact point I was headed towards, but I must say I like it!
applauds fail
Huzzah!
i vote lou for president ‘12
2012, because hell be even wiser by then.
But…how will we be mad at you then?
Haha, I managed to stop a “First!” from happening a week or so ago. Does that ever feel good.
I love the site, but the comments section here is so cult-like that it is hardly even worth reading IMO. Once in a while, when I am genuinely interested in a pic/video I will read. Once again I’ve found myself sidetracked by off-topic gibberish.
I would love to see discriminated comments. One section for people who want to talk about the pic/vid, another for people who want to talk about themselves and practice their wit.
No, just the US economy.
Hey…at least you guys don’t work for AIG
GM’s next. *shakes*
Gospel Music?
Grape Magic?
Greater Manchester?
Giant Monkeys?
Guided Missile?
Ghoulash Misery?
(I hate ghoulash.)
Gratuitous Minions?
Greedy Maggots?
Galactic Macedonians?
GM?
That’s what I was thinking… why has no one said Genetic Modification?
Too predictable.
Thanks for the nonsense mutation that resulted in a premature stop codon.
Camry discuss this nonsense?
That would be the discussion of the century.
I don’t avalon time to discuss it.
Rendezvous will.
Rendezvous will.
Also, this is the 4th time I’ve had to repost this.
Sorry…I’m still all tingly over the Admiral’s biology pun…
Something in my genes is tingly.
Perhaps a visit to the doctor…?
Nope…a visit to the Dragon will take care of that.
Oh, did you find your duct tape?
*grin*
Game master?…no wait! Gassy minatour!
Gross Manboobs?
Are there any other kind????
Gorgeous Mammaries !!
I remammary when we used to sing
Sha na na na na na na na nanana na na!
Thanks for mammaries … time to go crash.
Night-night, EB!
We’ll try and keep you abreast of the situation
Grapefruit Mechanics?
gregarious manics?
Gretchen Morgenson?
gesticulating mulberrys?
germinating mentos?
geriatric mobsters?
Gritty mensus?
Graceful manatees?
Groucho Marx’s gauche motives.
Garbage Monsters?
goat mobsters?
Oh great Googly-Moogly…
Genital maximums?
Gypsy Moths?
Goodlooking Man! *points up*
You can see me?
You can’t?
No all I can see is the crossbow.
Sometimes it takes a while for the new avatar to kick in, and I don’t think it happens simultaneously for all viewers.
It’s been about 24 hours now. I thought I did something wrong.
But I could see him yesterday! It shouldn’t do THAT, should it?
I still don’t see me.
Ginormous Melons?
Marius, clear your browser cache.
Exactly ^^ sometimes it gets stuck on your old icon and yes we’ve been seeing your smiling mug for a day or 2 now
Thanks AA & EB! All Better!
Yes smiley was at his brothers wedding in July. I was a little smashed.
Gross Masturbation?
Global Meltdown Gives Mankind Good Motivation
Gelatinous Monster?
Maybe if the CEOs would manage their companies properly instead of just taking lots of money for themselves and expecting the government to bail them out, we wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.
I’m pretty sure no amount of good management can save GM at this point.
Did you see them , when asked if they flew commercial to get to DC? And if they would be willing to sell the corporate jet & fly commercial home? “A show of hands, please.”
“Let the record be noted, no hands were raised”
GM is currently building a $300 million SUV factory in Russia.
There’s a Soviet Russia joke hiding in there somewhere, I just know it.
“Please let the record show no hands were raised.”
They just had a newspaper out here in the Detroit area that headlined “nuclear winter”, in some kind of allusion as to what will happen if GM dies… XP
Then tell the assclowns to do something about it instead of just begging for a handout.
Yikes! *hunkers in the bunker*
May I join you? I brought 17 bags of canned tuna.
Did you remember the canned bottled water?????
No, it had rainbows in it. I figured it was a conspiracy and remembered I had constituional rights so I left it behind.
Maybe you need to carry some popsies into the bunker. Just for the case the rest of the humanity is extinguished.
Don’t forget the meat snacks!
I brought the salad, but there seems to be a froggie in all the bags.
I brought the lighthouse-shaped gummies!
Don’t forget your picnic supplies, you don’t want to accidenty any whore kids while you’re down there!
Do you work for them?
Groping magistrate?
Glowing manikins?
Growing moles?
Gelatinous molasses?
Griping midwives?
Gnawing mice?
Ginger muffins?
Goose magicians?
Ghost moments?
General mayhem?
Gregarious matrimony?
Gentle mothers?
Godlike morons?
Goldfish marriages?
Good mayonnaise?
Gold members?
Grunting messiahs?
Groaning masses?
Green martians?
Gawking machines?
Grandpa Michael?
Godfather Mitch?
Hey.. I OWN AIG! They bought it with MY money!
I think all the economies are crashing like this. You tell the thing to stop but it just keeps on crashing into you.
Sell!! Sell!!
Run to the hills!!
Buy or stole a herd of sheep to secure food (and maybe pleasure) and wool for the next months!!
Learn what are the edible vegetables and bury them into the ground for growing trees full of them!!
*runs to the hill shrieking*
*sings* The hills are alive…
Did some nun get into the LSD again?
It was Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds.
It was Professor Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick.
*Colonel
It was katy, in the thread, with the pudding bukkit.
It was Lunchbox, in his pants, with the innuendo machine.
And apparently it’s broken again.
*sigh*
I fix it once, twice, and you guys just keep on breaking it.
Well it’s used a lot around here, and to be honest, we never got proper training.
*blinks* Did someone call me? I thought I heard my name? *scans thread*
Oh, the innuendo machine again… it’s keeping me warm right now, since it’s downright frigid outside today!
Dragons don’t do frigid.
*wicked grin*
That was fun!
A double-extra-nesting! This may be a Failblog first!!
Well, we ARE pretty awsome!!
*slips an “e” in there*
Where’s the bukkit?
Hmmm…. Me, two amazing women, and an innuendo machine… this situation is just FULL of win!!!
Awwww.
*hug*
*grins*
…with the sound of Nazis.
RUN TO THE HILLS!!!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
::iron maiden proceeds::
And don’t eat any Squirrels they’re really really poisonous!
Sorry, too late, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t a relative of yours though.
Agriculture fail, I’m afraid. Vegetables don’t grow on trees.
You are a genius.
And now I need to leave. I have some lettuce and green lasagna to unbury.
lasagne*
You’re as bad as BFF!
Are you sayeing mai speeeling’s bad?
When it comes to lasagne, yes!
Lasagne is the pluralized form of the noun, according to Wikipedia. The singular form is “lasagna”.
The Italians call the dish lasagne. I’m going with them on this one.
Pfffft, what do the Italians know, they built one of their cities in a flood plain!
*flees*
Since my browser spell checker allows me to write lasagna, and most of my posts are generated by that helpful but capricious piece of software, I will use this form for the singular (in Spanish is “lasaña”, we took the word from Italian)
“Lasagna” is a perfectly appropriate Anglicized spelling of the word, though I tend to use “lasagne” myself.
I’m italian :It’s lasagne…i ve never used the ” lasagna” word in all my life…
I do not mind how you spell it as long as I get to eat it.
I’m afraid the singular IS lasagna in italian, Loz.
It’s easy:
Fem. sing.: -a
Fem. plur.: -e
Masc. sing.: -o
Masc. Plur.: -i
Yes, EGG, we’ve discussed this. However, the Italians never use the word ‘lasagna’ (see Marco’s post above), it seems only the Americans do.
Could you make a lasagne with only one sheet of lasagne? No. You use multiple sheets. Therefore it’s always plural. Therefore it’s lasagnE. (I’m guessing that’s the reasoning behind it.)
The Italians call it lasagna. Don’t know where you heard otherwise.
yes.
uhhh.. no he was right… lasagna… srry… Epic spelling fail
Oh, sweet! I want in on some of that lasagna action! I’ll even bring some forks and plates.
*sigh*
Offfers Loz some paramecium cheeze for her lasagna.
Lou, I have some Lasagna and various other kids of Pasta Seeds for sale. I’m afraid I don’t carry the Dora and Sponge Bob Pasta seeds, as they’re licensed and proprietary. For the Kiddies I do carry seeds that grow a nice assortment of Body Parts Pasta Shapes that look great in a red sauce.
And if you hurry I might be able to ship you a Waffle Tree that you could plant and have fresh waffles in early Spring.
Hooray!
Can they be cross pollinated? I have a hankerin’ for some lasagna waffles.
Be thou pregnant?
That might be a medical miracle.
Tell that to Thomas Beatie.
Good point. It COULD happen.
I assure you that I have had my current genitalia since birth. Mine.
Well, I don’t know yet who is male or female unless it is blatantly obvious by their pic/name/postings.
When I was pregnant, I once ate Cool Ranch Doritos dipped in grape jelly. And it was fantastic.
*turns green*
excuse me… I need a… *runs out of room with hand clapped over mouth*
C’mon Avis, you eat chocolate covered bacon!
*turns green*
It’s a chocolate bar with a few bits of bacon. Not a strip of bacon slathered in chocolate. I don’t think I could handle that.
Hmm, that’s not quite so bad, but it still makes me vomit a little in my mouth.
*swallows*
“Cool Ranch Doritos dipped in grape jelly” *giggles a lot*
Reminds me of driving all over the town at 11:30PM looking for a specific local brand, (Zapps), of Spicy Dill Pickle Flavoured Potato Chips in every 24 Hour Mini-mart, Gas Station, and vending machine location I could find.
When I finally returned home with 2 2OZ Bags to my pregnant wife some time after 12:45AM, I found her sound asleep with an empty box of Vanilla Wafers and crumbs all over my side of the bed.
And yes, we’re still married after 25 years.
Congrats!
‘Potato chips’, just call them crisps
I put my husband through hell myself. Kudos to you!!
Dammit…now I have a hankering for a really lovely crispy pork mole…mmmmmmmmm.
We were by no means the first culture to combine chocolate and pork, you know. If you’re going to despise us for it, it’s only fair that you despise the Mexicans just as much.
Mmmmmm! Now I’m hungry. And I have a party to go to in 3 weeks.
A party that I MUST look fabulous for.
I don’t despise you! It’s more of a repulsion mixed with pity, lol.
Do the Mexicans have it in a tortilla?
It’s Mole` sauce and even though it is made from chocolate it is not sweet. I prefer it over chicken enchiladas.
It is also a good indicator of the quality of the restaurant. If they can make good Mole` then it’s more then likely authentic in everything else.
BTW, don’t let them substitute the Gopher` sauce. It is
nowhere near as good.
Really? I had the groundhog sauce once and found it comparable.
Vole sauce is too lemmingy for my taste.
Would you stop that? There’s only so much tingling I can take in one day.
Oh, and don’t let them give you the guinea sauce…it’s fowl.
Avian it disgusting, myself.
Uh, Katy? What do you mean by that?
Oh dear.
*pats Avis* I didn’t mean anything to do with you!
It was a bird pun run!
Is OK. I figured, I just couldn’t leave it alone!
*offers Avis some chocolate covered bacon* *has enough for everyone so offers it for any who want a yummy treat* And for you doubting Thomases out there .. *looks at Loz* the thing is American bacon is different than European bacon. So get you some nice yummy American bacon and fry it up nice and crisp. Meanwhile get your fondue set out and get to melting some nice bittersweet chocolate (or dark ….. dark chocolate). Once your bacon is good and crispy, pat it dry and let cool for a couple of minutes. Now either dip it in the melty goodness or sppon over the strips and allow to cool .. or hell why wait .. enjoy
*drools*
Damned diet!
That sounds almost…almost…better than sex.
But not. *grin*
Strangely, that sounds fantastic.
Dear God, I hope I’m not knocked up again.
80
80 what? damnit don’t keep us in suspense!
.
Re: Dragon *chuckle* that was exactly my reaction the first tim.. um first time I tried the bacon-chocolate goodness …
.
and now for another one: last year? we had a fondue party at the hose and my friend made dates-wrapped-in-bacon-coated-with-honey … talk about droolingly delicious
Oh…c’mon! What were you going to say? No fair YOU keeping us in suspense.
And I’m laughing uncontrollably at the thought of a “party at your hose”!
Um…the number of chocolate covered bacon strips it would take to burst my aorta? And Dragon I can now see your new dragon. It is a good match for it’s wearer, ferociously beautiful.
*blink*
That’s a heck of a compliment right there, Marius…thank you!
*smooch*
Aww shucks, I just call ‘em as I see ‘em. *smooch back*
I’ve seen bacon in America, it looked exactly the same as any other bacon!
Anyway, that’s no excuse! It’s still meat with chocolate. Eurgh.
What do you mean “eurgh”? I don’t like spam!
Moringa oleifera
I’ll have a drummie!
Oh, PLEASE tell me that you don’t like Golden Shower (tree)s!!
No, that’s Cassia fistulosa.
How…strangely fitting!
WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT
*Squeezes Dragonwriter*
*Runs off*
Woohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoohoo.
Since when do vegetables grow on trees?
Are you high?
Not until 4:20.
You don’t get out of work until 4:20? Ouch…as soon as that clock says 4:00 I’m out of here!
This site no work so well sometimes.
Agreeing with you, I am.
The problem seems to be what?
New fails don’t always show up. I have to access them from over there (*points right, to “recent comment” section*)
I haven’t had any problems like that. What browser are you using?
hasn’t this been on the homepage already?
The picture of this “incident” was on the homepage, not the video.
Epic Fail.
hey what?
Turn the car off!
Too late.
I guess he showed that cop!
Showed him what, the undercarriage of his car?
What a flasher!
*masturbates, again*
I don’t get how the car can get up the police car so smoothly lol.
Yeah, I had no idea a car could drive so far up another car from such a short run-up.
it was a runner-up.
Well said!
He was a mounted policeman.
*applauds*
from Mt. Hood I believe.
And the guy in the other car was a mountebank.
He was trying to hoodwink the officer, but he went too far.
Perhaps he had a bee in his bonnet.
That officer is gonna give him the boot…
I’m growing tired of this. Let’s cowl it a day.
Don’t resist a rest, Katy.
I NEVER resist arrest. I don’t resist anything that involves handcuffs. Of course, this could be because my husband is a cop…
Hey, I used to live there!
*fails to notice the bad pun*
You an Oregonian?
*is pleased at the possibility of living in the same state as another Failblogger*
I don’t think anyone else in my COUNTRY is on failblog.
*flies the flag*
S’ok Loz, we love you anyway. Where else are we going to get our tea and our gramer cereccshin servisiz?
Tea? Since when have I provided you with tea?! You’d better not be confusing me with the English!
What flag? I thought NI didn’t have an official flag because the Ulster one was too controversial.
I thought the Ulster flag was our official one, I may be wrong though.
*loves having dual-citizenship*
If it is, that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone is happy about it, lol.
If it’s not, I’ll fly the Union Jack or the Irish Tricolour, depending on my mood
Well, greased pigs are pretty dang slippery, so I’m not suprised about such a smooth mounting…
suprised *by* such a smooth mounting. Grammar FAIL.
Surprised. Correcting other people without checking your own errors FAIL.
Uh, hey dipshit, did you look at who Tiffy was replying to? Herself? How is this a “correcting other people” fail? Do explain, won’t you?
Re: headhunter – Correcting other peoples correction and making a smart ass comment only to realize you fail because you check your own errors.
*surprised* by such a smooth mounting. Spelling FAIL.
*surprised* about such a smooth mounting. Catching typo fail.
Grammar is awkward but correct with “about” in the sentence.
*surprised*
Spelling FAIL
HERE, NO FURTHER COMMENTS NEEDED, GOT IT COVERED:
1: “PhotoShopped!” (”if you look closely enough…”)
2: “I’ve been right there / lived there before / seen it.”
3: “My friend took this picture / told me about it.”
4: Inane comment repeated for the 4nd or 11rd time.
5: Clueless Guess(es) as to the true meaning.
6: Inside joke to/from a “Regular” poster.
7: Standard “accidenty” Missing Verb Gag.
8: Smart assed reply to Missing Verb Gag.
9: Grammer / Punctuation ; Word’s Usage \ Spelling Mistake.
10: Rare & Truly Insightful Witty Comment Worthy of Praise.
11: *Descriptive Action(s) of Commenter *
12: Burn / Put Down / Comeback / FOOOOOM!.
13: SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!!
14: Trite crap everyone is tired of.
15: Pun Fun Times & Fun Rhymes.
16: “In Soviet Russia fill in blank you,” joke.
17: Troll comment of any sort that everyone ignores.
18: Unrelated comment from illiterate fool.
Well, now you’ve just taken all the fun out of it.
Awww, my delecate flower girl, I have no desire to bum you out. Please feel free to add more to the list, such as;
19: Take the fun out of k-k-katy’s life.
delicate*
You’re great fodder for my pen.
Oh, you reminded me.
*hands dozens of red ink cartridges*
Ah, before I wander off to die in misery and despair, I must say that you’re certainly really on top of things there Loz & Bond. Such quick witty replies and grammatical skill should earn you enough false accolades and wry praise to last you lifetimes. Good luck in your true endeavors because being just barely a step above the “trolls” that you deplore can’t be your true life’s goal. Perhaps it’s just the nature of the British to harbor a false sense of superiority to mask the dourness of a lackluster existence.
You voted for Bush this year didn’t you?
I’m thinkin… not old enough to vote….
I’m thinkin… he’s an idiot, and therefore doesn’t think much.
Avis,
Did you get my message about my “friends”? Maybe if you hire them they’ll be able to get a tree of their own and let me live in peace.
(Click name)
Send ‘em to Chicago! The squirrels live great here! And there’s always work.
SB, I told you this on an earlier thread, but I don’t know if you ever saw it. Last year we had a tree cut down and the workmen brought me a newborn squirrel, the size of my thumb, pink, eyes covered w/membranes and ears shut. I raised him (”Squeaker”) with an eyedropper. When he was 10 months old we released him in our back yard, and we’ve seen him in our yard since.
Awww…
In Soviet Russia squirells hire YOU
Hey. That’s offensive. Not all under 18s are imbeciles.
Aw, did you get a thesaurus for your birthday?
Because of his immaturity, I think he probably got a brontosaurus for his birfday.
A stuffed one, that squeaks.
I got one of those for my 6th birthday! The exact same thing! It was red and fuzzy, and I named him Hideous Obox.
Hideous Obox? Wow! That’s cool.
I was a very cool kid. Also, I still own Hideous Obox. I’m almost ashamed to admit that occasionally I still sleep with him.
Awwwwwwwwww!
I think my childhood teddies got destroyed through overenthusiastic dragging around. I had a giant puss-in-boots called Shoobie-loo and all his stuffing escaped.
I think you should photo Hideous Obox to avatar him.
Awwwwwwwwww!
The most excitingly named teddy I had as a kid was a puss-in-boots called Shoobie-loo. His stuffing escaped.
I think you should photo Hideous Obox and avatar him.
Don’t be ashamed! I still sleep with a selection of my stuffed animals. They’re very comforting.
harbour*
lacklustre*
Oh, and have a few commas
Bye, now!
Actually, both harbor and lackluster are acceptable in the U.S. Don’t really know why, but we Americans aren’t really big on the “ou” in words (harbour, colour, etc), although I rather like it.
(I know, I was merely making a jibe at the troll by correcting his American words with British ones
)
Oh my goodness…what a fun troll! One who claims to be above trollish behavior, and yet cloaks his trollishness in a thin veneer of erudition and sophistication!
…I eat trolls like this for breakfast. I’m kinda hoping he comes back, because I’m getting a little peckish.
He’s back.
*looks up erudition in Miriam-Webster*
Aahh I see. Good word.
Heh. as soon as I saw that I went and looked it up myself.
Although I used American Heritage.
That pile has been stepped in before around these parts.
Actually, his/her spelling was correct…either way is.
(Yes, I know. See above for explanation. *sigh*)
Your comment is a great example of numbers 14, 17 and 18!
Eeek! #12! *sulks away forever to die in misery and despair*
Stop masquerading, TOP.
It couldn’t possibly be TOP…
Actually, it could. It sounds a LOT like him. The air of patronizing condescension…the undertones of “I know what you are so much better than you do”…the false sense of superiority and using big words to mask real ignorance…it’s all there.
lol lots of people do that…
What is it with you trolls?
Why do you keeping ruining other people’s fun? The only thing I can decribe them as are ’sado-masochists’-they know they’re going to be humiliated, yet they take enjoyment in humiliating others.
He’s just like everyone else.
Ah, so Bond, your attempt to ruin MY fun is what?
A: Fine because it’s YOU doing it
B: Fine because you are smarter, are wittier, have been here longer, etc.
C: Fine because you get praised for it
D: Fine because only you, of all people, truly understand my motivations behind all that I post using your magical fail-abilities
E: Fine since you think that your posting “rules” or condemning others will make this forum just like you and all your lil’ buddies want it
F: Grow up, grow wiser, get a real life that includes the outdoors w/o electronics, get a real job, pay taxes, raise a family, grow a set of balls, mellow out and realize that
your opinion counts as much as everyone else’sin the real world, as a whole, you’re absolutely insignificant.Oh, now I know I’m right!
Right there with you, Admiral.
I love part F. It’s a classic. *psychoanalyzes writing*
I ‘gree with you two here though.
Yes it IS fine when BondFan does it. Because WE the rest of us say so. Take your own advice. And get over the fact that you got owned by a fourteen year old.
Wait. Back up. BondFan is 14?
Yep.
I am extremely impressed.
Cheers, BondFan!!
Why thank you. I have my moments…
NI!
HAHAH! I’m not the youngest here! Woohoo! I’ve got you by a year.
That’s cool. Don’t chew me out here.
What happened to “OMG what’s a 15 year old doing on this forum?”
And Asian, don’t forget Asian
*covers mouth with hand* *snickers*
oh please.
Nope. It isn’t fine when BondFan does it. Sorry.
Actually, it is. Deal with it.
YES it is! Rudness is prohibited.
I thought WE were an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week– But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting– By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs– But by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major decisions.
Ahh
There’s been a distinct lack of Python references around here recently. As well as REM references…
Are we losing touch? (And on a completely unrelated note, do you believe we put a man on the moon?)
Andy, are you goofin’ on Elvis?
Anarcho-syndicalist commune?
*Checks door sign*
I thought we were spontaneously consensual!
majority WINS
And you are somehow better? I would love to know how, seeing as you have had nothing but time to reply in length to all of your counters. And, as you quote, “F: Grow up, grow wiser, get a real life that includes the outdoors w/o electronics, get a real job, pay taxes, raise a family, grow a set of balls, mellow out and realize that your opinion counts as much as everyone else’s in the real world, as a whole, you’re absolutely insignificant.”
I’m sure you’re doing all of those things, while sitting on your computer.
I would LOVE to see you get up at 4:30 am, get some muscle tone and steel toe boots, and come to Puget Sound Naval Shipyard every day where I work, and I’ll teach you how to weld, torchcut, write up and read blueprints and welding diagrams and fabricate nuclear submarines and aircraft carriers, pay Union dues, taxes, and leave at the end of the day knowing that you, as the smallest, youngest FEMALE boilermakers union instructor in the Northwest, have been a large part of making an amazing vessel that will house up to 1,200 sailors during wartime tours, and in essence, have helped the government, the Navy, and without you, 97 boilermakers and all of the workers that depend on us to make the foundations on which thier work will be done, could not have accomplished much. Ah, I just LOVE staring blankly at men who think they are great, and telling them what I, as a small weak-minded female, do for a living, while they sit at thier computers in thier thinking about thier next WoW match. Oh, the outdoors. Wouldn’t know much about those, either, being a Park Aide for the Olympic National Forest during summer months. I’ll go cry in a corner and dwell upon my sad existance now.
Hell Hath No Fury:
Hey, CHILL, I’ve NO problem with you. In fact you sound like quite an impressive & significant person. Perhaps you should reread what I wrote, how do you think it had ANYTHING to do with YOU and your life?
It was all aimed mainly at BondFan and a little at Loz, Avis and others for their cutting and undeserved remarks, which they will gleefully dole out often to any newcomer that doesn’t conform to their ideas of how FailBlog should be. Where in I listed #’s 1 thru 18 I was commenting on exactly how I’ve noticed that it is consistently. BondFan and Loz and others all fall into some of those 18 categories regularly. The “you’re absolutely insignificant” part of my comment is more aimed at the “absolute insignificance” of FailBlog Comments in the big scheme of things rather their young still forming lives.
Big words, leeetle dic…..tionary.
Get over it. You came, you said something stupid and got called on it. It happens. Suck it up, move on.
Eh, 99.9% of all failblog commenters fall into your 18 categories, whether they’re regulars or not. That’s just how we roll here, all of us. If you don’t like it, you know what to do.
Cutting remarks are usually made in jest, as it is assumed that most people here can take a joke. You, it seems, need to enroll in dragon’s Humo(u)r 101 class.
Absolutely Loz:
Eh, 99.9% of all failblog commenters fall into your 18 categories, whether they’re regulars or not. That’s just how we roll here, all of us.
TRUE that’s why I put them there. It wasn’t to troll for asshole’s cuts and comebacks. It was to further discussion of inherent other traits of the FailBlog Forum
If you don’t like it, you know what to do. Be Cutting & Hurtful? Be Rude Pointedly Rude towards a Commenter? Act Pompous & Immature like the you with your little red pen and dislike of American English Spelling?
Cutting remarks are usually made in jest, as it is assumed that most people here can take a joke. True, most can, but some can’t and until you know a person you can never be sure how you might affect their psyche
You, it seems, need to enroll in dragon’s Humo(u)r 101 class. I love Ms. Dragon’s Wit, Humo(u)r, and Puns. She is rarely if ever pointedly
hurtful, pompous, condescending or childish (a lesson you might well learn from her).
Thanks for your willingness to “converse” civilly I have previously enjoyed many of your posts and hope to return to that soon.
Regards, Everyone Else
Why, thank you. I appreciate your comments.
That said, I’m afraid that I cannot say the same about you. What you did here was the equivalent of walking onto a neighborhood playground–a neighborhood where everyone knows each other and you are the new kid–and pointing out how everyone there adheres to a specific stereotype. When we resisted said stereotypes, you lashed out with unkind accusations and abusive language.
Not. Cool. Not cool at all, sir.
Excuse Miss Dragonwriter: cite examples please… like where “unkind accusations and abusive language” was not deserved after I received equally the same type of crap? i was attacked first and repeatedly by various “smartie pants” that escalated things.
playground is quite an apt description, thank you. so rather than being inviting and saying “hi new person, welcome and please ignore the good humo(u)red things we throw at you for no reason except to be “cutesie” It seems the kids on this playground shun those not in their little cliques. Gee, just how biased and bigoted and phobic are you all?
for some odd reason I can type eloquently and get blasted but you,
Ms. Dragonwriter, a lit/english prof, get a pass for being erudite? Is it that they just don’t understand the words or that they’re not used to being repremanded having had their way for so long without conscience and consequences
have fun with you red pens and snappy replies, i’ve decided to hang around because there are a few nice people in here that don’t feel threatened by someone new, plus I like the fails and run on sentences and speelling things wrong sometimes when the mood hits me which is one of those days this is.
Best Regards, Everyone Else
You have a lot of time on your hands, don’t you?
I do too! Neener! :p
Admittedly, so do I. *grins*
Cite examples…that’s a fair request.
You are mistaken…katy jokingly made a “you took all the fun away!” comment, and Loz corrected a spelling mistake. These were not attacks, and yet you responded with this:
“Ah, before I wander off to die in misery and despair, I must say that you’re certainly really on top of things there Loz & Bond. Such quick witty replies and grammatical skill should earn you enough false accolades and wry praise to last you lifetimes.” Etc, etc. Your contempt was unmistakable. The others came to the defense of their friends, as we are wont to do.
Had you responded humo(u)rously, or even kindly, you would have been welcomed very differently, I assure you. As I said, just ask katy, Blue2th, Lunchbox, Marius, and others who have found their way into our midst and our hearts. There is no clique. We are of many differences here. We just don’t like trolls and bullies.
I did not blast your eloquence. I blasted the fact that you were USING such lovely language to mask something very ugly. Please read more carefully.
And trust me…I don’t get a pass for anything. I spend more time with the halibut and pudding bukkit than many people here. I just don’t take myself so seriously that I can’t admit that I make mistakes. I do…lots of ‘em. The folks here seem to forgive me for it, though.
I wholeheartedly agree with you here Dragon. There’s one tiny little word that makes (almost) everyone here different from Everything Else: Humility.
We ALL readily admit when we’ve ‘failed’, goofed, made an unfair comment, or said something off-colo(u)r. Perhaps that is the fact lost on Everything Else right now. Being willing to admit our mistakes, and ‘take’ the punishment the other commenters here dole out, is what makes this such an enjoyable place to spend our free time.
Rather than lecturing you (Everything Else) with more, I simply suggest this: go get your dictionary (you obviously know how to use one), and look up the word Humility. Then, practice it daily, for the rest of your life. Dude, don’t take yourself so seriously, this is the internet.
It is late, and I am tired, so I won’t wax quite so eloquent, but..I wholeheartedly agree. I only started posting here, what, a week ago? And all of the ribbing here should be taken in good fun. I’ve been on both sides (the ribber and the ribbee) and I have NEVER taken any offense at any comments directed my way. Because, like Lunchbox says, it’s just the internet.
“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands but a continent that joins to them.”
I also agree with dragon. I just started posting here recently. And though I consider myself an intelligent person, I have fallen flat on my face several times with grammar and spelling/punctuation errors. Also to cite a great example…On a previous fail I misunderstood a comment by TMI, and given my bad day was in a particularly foul mood already, jumped right on the defensive. TMI explained that his comment was not directed to me in anyway. I humbly said “sorry”, he accepted and we moved on. All of the ribbing and jests are in good fun, and I for one am happy to post here on an irregular basis for laughs and a good time with some very sharp-witted people.
If you’ll permit me to bring up earlier examples:
Your first post listed various types of comments on Failblog. k-k-katy’s reply was that you’d taken the fun out of it. Your reply was: “Awww, my delecate flower girl, I have no desire to bum you out. Please feel free to add more to the list, such as;
19: Take the fun out of k-k-katy’s life.”
This could be construed as overly sarcastic and insulting. On the other hand – and I think this was how you meant it – it could be a good-natured, teasing comment between friends. The problem is, tones don’t translate well over the Internet, and we haven’t known you long enough to know when you’re joking or not.
Loz then corrected your spelling, as she does with almost every misspelled post; it’s happened to me too. Her exact words were: “delicate*
You’re great fodder for my pen.” This could also be seen as a casual, joking comment, since Loz does this often and didn’t seem to show any particular animosity. You, however, seemed to take great offense to her comment and replied in the following fashion:
“Ah, before I wander off to die in misery and despair, I must say that you’re certainly really on top of things there Loz & Bond. Such quick witty replies and grammatical skill should earn you enough false accolades and wry praise to last you lifetimes. Good luck in your true endeavors because being just barely a step above the “trolls” that you deplore can’t be your true life’s goal. Perhaps it’s just the nature of the British to harbor a false sense of superiority to mask the dourness of a lackluster existence.”
That comment was unnecessarily rude to people who’d done no more to you than they had to anyone else. You’re wrong in that you were “attacked first” with “the same type of crap”. Had you just stepped back a bit and taken their comments lightly, as you were probably meant to, or even apologized after you insulted them so thoroughly, we wouldn’t be attacking you right now.
And let’s not forget that you called Avis a “bitter bitch” (did I use those quotations marks right…?) and Loz mean, pompous, and rude.
Wow, the list just goes on, doesn’t it?
“Is not thy kindness subtle, covetous,
If not a usuring kindness, and, as rich men deal gifts,
Expecting in return twenty for one?”
I am going nuts here dragon. I was sure it is Timon but I can not find the passage. Counld you lend me a hand?
Timon of Athens, 4. 3
*quietly removes ‘n’ for marius*
Hey guys…I have a message for you.
I just got a note from Everyone Else.
I won’t cut and paste it here—you can see it in my guestbook on my website if you want to read it—but the gist of it is that he is sorry. He realizes that his attitude was not the best today, and that he let too much intolerance slip through his fingers into his posts. He asked me to forgive his “impertinent diatribes” and to let you all know that he’ll be back to quietly lurking while he works on a more positive frame of mind.
I have to say…it was a lovely gesture, and one he was under no obligation to make. I’m not sure why he wrote on my website rather than posting on the blog, but…he did want all of you to know.
So, Something Else…if you see this—thank you. I very much appreciated your message, and I hope you are feeling more yourself soon.
Two hands for the price of one. Thank you, I can now go to bed.
*whistles*
DANGGGGGGGGGG… a lot of temper in there…
(insert stereotypical agreement post here)
Sorry…enrollment capped out. He’ll have to wait for next semester.
Young, still-forming? Me and Bondfan maybe, Loz and Avis are perfectly
immature adults.don’t forget me! 15 and lovin’ it!
How can we remember you if you don’t comment on current fails?
If only Loz used her red pen with me… I have made so many mistakes… Common, Loz!
As in any club, there are certain rules to follow and unwritten courtesies to be noticed and learnt.
If what you get isn’t good enough to behave accordingly, maybe this isn’t your club.
Owwh, from Puget sound? Say HELLO to Bainbridge Island for me please, see Winslow & give my regards! See Lynwood Center, is the tide high? How are the school there now? As advanced as planned?
Good for you ! Reach out & leave no regrets!
hawt!
Hey, a Bremertonian! Go Knights!
I’m going with option B.
Too bad his mother didn’t opt for plan B.
Sorry, was that cold?
No, It was just typical of what’s to be expected from a bitter bitch.
Ha! HA! Just teasing! Gee Avis! Can’t you take a joke?
Should I squat over your cage? Oooooh! What might I do while I’m there?
*place allusion to shitting on someone’s head here*
Gee, I bet she voted for OBAMA! Egad what an idiot!
Regards, Everyone Else
*calls dragon down from the skies*
I believe it’s your turn
*yawns*
Well, I have no regard FOR you, so I certain don’t want any regard FROM you. You can keep your empty regards to yourself…much like your labels, your narrow little definitions, and your contempt.
And just ask Lunchbox, Mikey D, Blue2th, and katy how we treat newcomers who are smart, funny, and playful here. If you can’t differentiate between respectful ribbing amongst friends (hee! puns are ribbed for your pleasure!) and true antagonism…well, it’s no wonder you are confused about your reception here.
Woops. I accidenty the ly.
*pudding bukkits*
*applauds* Much more satisfactory than a FOOOOM!!ing, however appropriate that may be.
They do unnatural things to us with chicken soup in bukkits.
*cries*
I have to pay for that elsewhere but here it’s free.
Woop woop.
Nice move, raelalt!
If your idea of fun is to post anti-blog manifestos(oes?) on a more-or-less friendly forum with the (apparent) purpose of:
A: Making the experience less enjoyable for others
B: Elliciting some sort of emotional response
C: to make yourself seem/feel special
Or whatever other reason you may have, then I suggest that it isn’t the rest of us that need lives, because it seems we are the ones who are enjoying ourselves. BTW, when you say get a real job, you do realize that many of the people here are, in fact, currently employed.
If you don’t find the comments section to be a worthwile experience, maybe just don’t come here anymore, and do something you consider to be more worthwhile.
Oh, and another thing, you seemed perfectly content to join in on #15, up where everyone was listing possible meanings for GM. What changed since then?
*giggles* I love you guys.
We love you too.
GODDAMN! PEOPLE… I wasn’t cutting any of you down when I wrote and posted the 18 different things I’ve noticed about FailBlog.
It was a fun process that I thought surely would be enjoyed by a few o9f you. Possibly you might want to amend it or correct it.
I LOVE FailBlog! And until today I thought i was a really nice mellow forum to hang in, (while I’m at work and when I’m off). Now I wonder.
The only person I suggest needed a a life was Bond because it seems he’s always just sitting there lurking and waiting to put in the next comment.
You got burned today, you’re just having problems coming to terms with it.
You can phone the helpline on 0800-sensitivityissues.
Oh goody! He’s still here!
Seriously, dude, you need to realize that unless you’re just site-hopping, you will get jumped on by every single person on FailBlog at one time or another. It’s happened to me, it’s happened to BondFan… and it’s happened to you. The difference is, we just take it as it is (the ramblings of bored Failbloggers looking for a way to fill up some time) and move on. Chill.
So what if Bond is on here alot… didn’t we see above that he’s only 14?… what the heck else is he gonna do?
I have to admit I lol’d at some of the things in your list.
People have already said this, but to sum it up…
Just because it’s true doesn’t mean its bad.
I’m fairly new here so i’m going to ask:
Is it just me or does this guy sound like he doesn’t belong here?
It’s not just you.
TRRRRRROLLLLLLLLLLLL. the end
HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA
Ha..!
You smell funny.
STFU BOND!!!!!!
if you really think those comments are so sophomoric, then why, dear mentally superior friend, are you adding to the success of the websites that harbor them, and becoming one of the people that add such comments? You sure seem to pay quite a bit of attention to have memorized them all.
*of which mine are all #10’s, kthx.*
What a Rare & Truly Insightful Witty Comment. *prays*
Wow, what did I miss???????? BF, you made him your b*tch!!!
Nah, I was referring to #10 on the “list”. I like HHNF. (thus far anyway)
BTW. It’s almost 4:20….*happy dance*
No, no, I was referring to BondFan’s slaying of the troll. I guess I could’ve positioned my comment more strategically.
You’re on central time, no? It was 4:20 here a bit ago….
It’s almost 10.20pm and I’m in bed already. This will be my earliest
night in years! *happy dance*…
*wheezecoughsplutter* oh yeah, flu
It’s beer-thirty!
Anyone want to join me in a cold one? I have Killians and Fat Tire!
Damn it! I missed everybody and now I missed beer time.
Hell .. try being on the wrong side of the world! I always miss all the fun!
Now I am ashamed of myself for complaining. You folks have the right to grip all you want. My eldest daughter’s fiancé is on his second tour along with her Godfather and quite a few of our other friends. I read you were do leave soon. Go easy on the R&R.
Well…fine then! I’ll drink my beer all by my lonesome.
*sip*
*holds up beer*
Cheers!
I had to go get some before I could join you.
YAY!
*clinks glass*
To good friends, new and old.
Hear, hear!!
Here, Here!!! Bring beer Here!!! I’m working now, so no toast yet. However, tomorrow morning brings Kegs & Eggs, our sporadic tradition of breakfast of Smithwicks/Guinness and (you guessed it) eggs at the local Irish pub.
So, tomorrow morning, I will raise a frosty pint in honor of all of you, whom I consider friends. And in honor of the trolls, since they offer so much entertainment value!
In an odd sort of way the trolls make us a closer knit community.
And what bar is open that early on a Friday? Bars aren’t allowed to be open that early here in chi-town.
The beauty is, it’s a restaurant too, so they can open at 7am. Generally, bars don’t open early here either, which makes it all the better.
I agree, the trolls act as something of a rallying point for everyone to ‘point and laugh’ if you will…
That explains much. We had a few firemen ask us to open the bar for them one morning at seven (they asked a week or two in advance of the the morning in question) and we had to decline. They were even gonna bring a few cops who had just gotten off duty. We would have had nothing to fear. But we still decided not to do it. Thankfully they understood. And no, I don’t work there anymore.
Sorry, Marius! You weren’t there when I posted my little lament!
*clicks glasses with everybody*
Have one for me tomorrow, will ya Lunchbox?
Re: LB -cheers and have a Guinness for me! None for me til vacation
I wouldn’t want to let you down:
1. So clearly fake, like totally.
2. That was my uncle’s friend’s neighbor in the car, right near my house.
3. I heard it first hand from the cop.
4. I’m watching you!
5. They were trying new parking positions.
6. Have a sense of humor, why don’t you.
7. I accidenty the car all the way up.
8. I accidenty you all the way up.
9. Why excuse me, it’s “accidentally”.
10. And people wonder why there are so many accidents that could’ve been prevented, and lives that could’ve been saved.
11. *masturbates*
12. Owned.
13. OMFG HILARIOUS!!!!1!!
14. First!
15. bah, someone else can take care of #15.
16. In Soviet Russia, cars mount you!
17. Oh wow.
18. Frozen water works as ice, lol.
There.
This is so amazingly perfect.
this was on failblog not too long ago. repeat loser. still funny tho.
Was not. And if you think it was, prove it.
(I’m tired of the “old fail” comments. There was just one repeated fail on failblog (that I know of), so if you think it was posted before, prove it or shuddup).
dang, I accidentally my tyrant again.
You also accienty your ly.
I did that earlier, in reverse.
*commiserates*
And I accidenty my accident.
*self-snork!*
Really, I’ve never seen it before and I’m on this site everyday. It was probably on the vote page.
Are we not on Failblog right now? Isn’t that redundant?
NWOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*turns off foghorn*
*turns on foghorn*
NWOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*smashes foghorn with sledgehammer*
*panting*
There. Peace and quiet at last.
*buys a new foghorn*
NWOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
….In other news, FailParliament passed a bill decreeing that the purchase of foghorns/bringing them to FailBlog as been been banned and punishment will be being sent to the Troll cage, and being burnt by Dragonwriter’s flamethrower.
Nope…sorry. The foghorn made me *ROFFLE!*
Me too. Don’t fry his noodles!
*takes away noodleguy’s foghorn and money*
*handcuffs noodleguy to the wall*
That will be enough of that.
*Places noodleguy in trollcage*
You were warned!
*flies in and lands on top of cage*
*attempts to look innocent*
Don’t look up Noodleguy!
Avis? What are your intentions?
*bats eyelashes*
What? Who, me?
Oh… nothing…
I’ve got my eye on you!
I wouldn’t recommend that, remember the reporter?
*CRAAAASH*
Ow…my head…
That wasn’t me.
Chuck Storm? That you?
Sorry…who are you? The only thing I seem to remember is an awful crash. Why are you looking at me like that?
Different reporter BFF. Different reporter. Think birds. Lots of little birds.
Yuk, I had to brush my teeth just remembering. Gak!
Aw, great. THAT guy
*shields head from incoming bombardment*
Unless you are in the troll cage you have nothing to worry about. But I’ll just leave that to my tiny feathered friends.
He was just trying to reverse the charges.
That’s the ticket, old sport!
What an arrestingly authoritative voice that police officer had.
I knew I had to have missed something. My boss doesn’t invest in speakers. Cheap son of a… *insert yosemite sam grumble here*
I personally found humor in the fact that he stated “This conversation is over” at least 3 or 4 times, yet continued to address the man in the car.
Wait…back up to the puns.
After the incident, the officer had to jack up the fines.
Ci. Tation always be sure they are in “drive” before pulling out onto a road.
I didn’t know cars tried to express their alpha status that way…I mean, I’ve heard of speed humps and all, but I didn’t know it meant THAT.
This happened in a town just outside of Chicago…was quite the hit in the papers at the time! He was a very cranky old man.
How long ago?
Prior to now and sooner than the past, around about then or before or after, not really sure exactly but it was 11:17:43.09 in New Delhi once.
Thanks.
No need to be so specific.
satlantic ok?
Take out your t and l and that’s good news.
Although I prefer sindian.
A couple of months…Avis, do you remember this? It was Buffalo Grove
Not at all. But I live downtown. Sorta. I see more accidents on the LSD in one month than most see in a decade anywhere else. A few weeks ago we had 9 in one night. 6 of those happened within 10 minutes!
I remember that night! All the news stations showed this vid because it was just too funny. I’m surprised it took so long to show up here!
BTW, “Everybody Else” may have issues, but I always thoroughly enjoy the show here!
*hugs Helena*
We like you, too!
It happened around October 13th of this year. And apparently (via CNN) all the guy got was a $200 ticket (in addition to the first ticket) and he has to take a defensive driving course. Uh, I’d say that was intentional and he should have his freaking license revoked. I liked how calm the cop stayed even after it happened. I would have forcibly removed the guy from his car with my baton if I was that guy.
just… lol…
Indeed?
just lol? no rofl? no dingling?
This guy is obviously an ancient Greek, trying to get us to change how we speak. Probably hates Zeppelin too. Inpu does not approve.
THIS IS SPARTA!
c-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!
…What combo?
Sparta kinda sucked. No Zeppelin. Though their desire for Zeppelin made them good warriors. They wanted Zeppelin so bad, they became the biggest badasses of their time. But not badass enough to get any Zeppelin. Sucks to be them.
When good stunt drivers go bad…
“Be careful pulling out.”
Birth-control FAIL.
Your face belongs to birth control
Birth control’s like a peeing furnace
Your simile’s like a retard trying.
We really have missed you, dude.
Cher was great in that movie.
Perhaps shopping in the picnic section would prevent the need to pull out.
That makes condom sense to me.
You should get the opportunity to use it, unless you rubber the wrong way.
Hmmm. A problematic prophylactic?
Does the dude still have to pay the speeding ticket?
No, he gets off free (for 500 yen).
Yeah, that ticket as well as several others, and possibly jail time.
That cop that morn: Hey,chief, Can I use the copcar with the ramp mounted on the front bumper?
Only. Funny. Comment. In. This. Thread.
wow. that would be lol-worthy.
The driver can be heard yelling, “D’OH!”. Then, forced by his cop-DNA, the officer added, “Nuts!”
Nice.
*Perks Up* NUTS?
yes Bob nuts!
NO!
Cashews, damnit!
Cashews are nuts. FAIL!
It’s a matter of simple/freak accident electrical issues: When he tried to open the window, the signal got sent to the transmission instead, putting the car in reverse. The door sensor also somehow became the ignition. The officer clearly should have realized this.
200!
or close enough
You have nothing to contribute. Please leave.
But what does it mean?????
Sounds like something I once said
Aw, but what about the non-sequiturs?
I think we can survive without the non-seqs!
(Teehee, sounds like sex…)
Did somebody say SEKS?
I think he did that on purpose but something went wrong.
I think everything went gloriously right.
Ugh. This is all so confusing. I have no idea who I’m suppose to like /dislike on this blog. People I thought were cool are now trolls. People I thought were trolls are now cool. People I thought were friends are not….It’s dogs and cats living together…total MASS HYSTERIA….AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!
*inches closer*
What group do I belong in? I’m relatively new here and would like to know my place.
I see you as more of a dog than a cat, to be honest.