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We’ll if you plan to have sex on your picnic then….
Eating out much?
I think it would of been best to not add an “s” to hotdogs…
But you know you can’t eat just one…
Wouldn’t that make it an orgy?
An orgy of weenies?
*ponders*
*is now sick*
Thanks
Indeed.
*comfort* You’re the one who used plurals!
Usually you pay double for that!
Shhh!! We’re trying to be friends so he invites us to his next picnic!
You’re right!
I’ll bring the cucumbers!
I’ll bring the.. uhh… I think I’ll stay home.
Yeah…sounds like the guys don’t really need us, do they?
Naw, we’re good.
I’ll bring the ladderless ladder!
in Soviet Russia… oh, never mind
In Soviet Russia never minds you?
in soviet russia comments nest below this level
In Soviet Russia, nests level below this comment.
In Soviet comment, Russia levels below this nest.
In Soviet levels, Russia comments below this nest
One time I ate a whole pizza, but was sick the next day.
In soviet russia, Pizza eat you!
One time I ate a pizza, then my friend told me he’s gay.
In Soviet Russia, comments stop here and we all shut up.
But we aren’t in Soviet Russia, now are we?
, Russia nest Soviet comment. levels In below this
One time i ate 4 pizzas and i wasnt sick the next day.
but iexploded.
You just accidentally a whole pizza, what should you do?
you accidentally the whole thing??!
One time, you totally messed up a comment chain…
In Level nest, Russia soviets below this comment.
In capitolist America, Russia will nest below tons of debree, caused by missiles.
use an action verb.
Go to Soviet Russia so pizza can eat you from inside out
In Soviet Russia, accidentally you.
if they were eating out much, they probably wouldn’t need the condoms
you have to eat your sausage before you get the pudding….
How can you have any pudding if you won’t eat your meat?
take the Excedrin first!
I think the Excedrin is a backup, in case the female involved has a “headache”.
assuming it’s a femal
He needs to eat the Viagra flavored ice cream!
She has a headache this big! *holds hands over privates*
don’t think its that much of a fail, lots of people have fun on picnics
thanks mom.
…BUY EPIC WIN condoms!!!!
Well, that takes the FAIL out of it
Zweiter!
Put that zweiter back where it belongs, you perv !
moah verpiss dich scheiß kiddy
Wait a second…Verpiss dich means Fuck Off…….NO, YOU FUCK OFF!
Guess we know what dessert is on that picnic!
Cream filled?
Cream filled muffins?
Twinkies and Ding Dongs
What, no Ho-Hos?
What about some My*T*Fine pudding?
Suzy-Qs and Devil Dogs.
Hostess cupcakes and Sno-Balls.
I once made out with a midget named Debbie. As in Little Debbie Snack Cakes. True story.
Classy.
I once made out with a midget named Debbie. The rest of my platoon made little Debbie cupcake jokes for the rest of the week. True story.
Did she like being called a midget?
If not, I’m sure she appreciated being the object of ridicule for your platoon.
The old joke, “She was rotten to the corps, but great to the
infantry” just leapt to mind. You may whack me with the halibut now.
Penis and Vaginas.
Now, there’s a combination I can appreciate. Excellent ratio!
*hands LB a Viagra*
With that ratio you may need this.
Sour lemon flavo(u)red!
Lemon Heads
ambrosia salad? oh wait, i think i screwed up. ummm, Lady Fingers?
with lots of whipped cream.
geez, I have a friend who would just love the various innuendos
displayed here.
We have innuendos on display? *looks around*
Sure! Didn’t you see them in the Failblog comment tour?
Sure! Didn’t you see them in the Failblog comment tour?
But is there any sex on this picnic? or are they eating condoms?
im confused!!
(not really but i want to see what yall do to my comment XD)
Just noticed the Excedrin…HA!….perfect.
Extra Strength ;P
Looks like it’s going to be a penile day.
Is that a paint brush or an ice scraper on the far right side?
I was thinking some sort of spray?
Ah Ha! …it’s a brush. If you enlarge the pic you can see it along the right side of the “fail”.
Gotta look sharp for those picnics ;P
What do you think it’s for?
It’s obviously for even application of the mayonaisse in between the sandwiches
My 3 guesses are:
1: A Spatula
2: Personal Massager
3: Popcorn Eraser
What exactly is a popcorn eraser? When I want my popcorn to go away, I usually eat it.
According to Wikipedia, there is no such thing.
Wikipedia is photoshopped.
that’s the best i’ve ever heard
don’t be silly. a popcorn eraser is obviously a hungry fat kid ina box.
YOU’RE Photoshipped
The whole friggin’ system is Photoshopped!
cinco
goes the failboat
I guess it’s better than using a squirrel.
HEY! 8P I resemble that remark!
BUT WAIT!
…………………*scratches head with curiosity*
Explain the “using a squirrel” part, maybe I’ve been missing out on something.
If you really want to know, I’m sure there are full color diagrams out there on the internet. All you have to do is specify what sub-species of squirrel.
I looked and could only find gerbil and sheep diagrams.
You mean horse? And what about flaming goats?
I found one on suspended donkeys…
Right next to the picture of Richard Gere.
All the ways I can think of are more of a torture/revenge thing.
That’s right, Avis, get it all out of your system, girl!!
Oh no, that’s not at all what I meant!! He can keep all his bits!! Now I know a few OTHER guys that I would love to torture. Squirrels, rope, walnut oil…. yeah, that ought to do it!
That’s just nuts!
The guy I’m thinking of beat the crap out his wife. His wife who happens to be my best friend. This punishment might just be too tame!
Piece of garbage needs some time in Rikers playing house.
Sure, sure. But AFTER I give him the squirrel treatment, please?
Absolutely, I’ll hold him down.
That is what the rope is for. We should be in a different room watching the entertainment via camera. We could offer the video to law enforcement so they can show new offenders what awaits them!
When Dr Kevorkian was practicing, I thought that type of person would make an excellent test subject for him. Then I decided that was just too compassionate for an abusive bastard like that. Now I prefer to drag them naked through a salt flat behind my truck. At mach 1.
Ooh Ooh! I’ll volunteer! Me! Meeee!
What are we gunna do to him Avis?
I know all kinds of “squirrel treatments,”
some of them really secret and painful.
Like this one where there’s a hole in the tree…
I was thinking we’d tie him up, douse him with the walnut oil, maybe shove a few walnuts in some … tender areas, and put him in a locked room with about 5 squirrels. Hungry squirrels. Angry squirrels.
I know 5 Fox Squirrel Thugs who are really pissed
because their tree was repo’ed by Hurricane Gustav.
Just sprinkle the walnut oil on anything you want gnawed on.
Hmmph! What’s wrong with nuts?
Wait… don’t you mean “resent”? Or DID you mean “resemble”? o.O
Get all what you need for a picnic with a “happy ending.” LOL!!!
Only thing they’re missing is the duct tape.
Possibly some lotion, aswell…
anal lube?
If you’re into that
shaving cream?!?
Dad? Is that you?
I miss the good old days when picnics didn’t require condoms.
I don’t. Prude.
Keep your rubber, I’m sticking to bareback (in a straight way mind you).
Brokeback?
I cant quit you.
But you had no problem quitting apostrophies?
I probably need to quit spelling atrocities.
See, there you go, you just spelled it again!!!
That’s one hideous spelling atrocity… *covers everyone’s eyes*
Nothing to see here, guys.
Assoholics Anonymous! 69 step program
or squirrels
Didn’t ‘require’ condoms. That’s how the welfare office was invented.
that must be some gooooooooooood picnic!
Yeah, seriously, who takes Excedrin along for a picnic.
The guy who buys condoms, of course.
Yeah, if you thought ants were a problem at picnics where all you had to protect was the food…
ew.
…and funny.
They are for when the woman says “No, I have a headache.”
Hehehe…
“That’s ok, honey, I thought of everything”
“And I’m PMS-ing” so he better pick up some Midol too, cover all the bases.
Let’s just get the chloroform and get it over with!
*holds out rag* does this smell like chloroform to you?
You have to do it the other way around:
– Here’s your Excedrin, honey.
– What? I don’t have a headache.
That way you save the time you’d have to wait for it to start kicking in.
excedrin is fast acting though. the wait wouldn’t be too long, but good point anyway.
*Bows*
How terrifyingly Machiavellian you are, EGG.
Maybe ibuprofen should be an ingredient in egg drop soup.
Indeed…I imagine the knowledge that women don’t want to sleep with him must give him quite the headache.
The last time my egg dropped, I accidenty a kid. And I got lots and lots of cards!
Should’ve used an action verb.
Should’ve verbed a used action.
Oh I think there was plenty of action used. She should have picked up some picnic supplies.
Perhaps she mixed up the Motrin and the flavoured condoms.
Should’ve abused a natural herb
Managing skills, baby!
“You don’t have a headache? Then how about we have sex?”
“Not now hon, I have a… oh… umm…”
so when your girl tells you that she doesn’t want to sleep with you becase she has a headache, you give her excedrine? you actually think she has a headache?? missing the point I think. unless there is some unknown aphrodesiac (sp.?) in Excedrine, doubt that works
You’re missing the point. You’re also missing a sense of humor. The thing is, once he hands her the excedrin, she’s out of an excuse as to why they can’t have sex. Hence, her “headache” is cured, and the man gets happy.
I’d just say, ‘that’s okay, honey, I have a girlfriend’
The “im getting laid on this picnic and want to be prepared for anything” guy.
Oh? Prepared for the Spanish Inquistion, are we?
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
those pesky park rangers will never suspect…
Is that the new code word?
‘Hey, you wanna picnic?’
Can you picnic on that penis bridge???
21 times…
Hehehe…
Not a code word, but rather, a safe word
Eww!!! That’s funny!
penis bridge?
(see “shadow fail”)
got it, thanks.
penis stuck
penis mightier than the sword.
penis land
penis slide
penitsunami
Kind of makes you wonder what exactly is the handled object hanging on the far right…
probably a pair of tongs for the squirrel.
TONGS!?
*scampers away!*
Introducing TONGS!!!
Thongs for a squirrel?
Leaves the tail exposed.
Quite bushy…
Haha, no, that’s actually a reference to something only an immature 16 year old would recognize. Go to http://www.newgrounds.com and search for Blockhead. It’s in one of the episodes.
My 3 guesses:
1: A Spatula
2: Personal Massager
3: Popcorn Eraser
Enough of your shitty guesses, and what the flying fuck is a “popcorn eraser”?
Because you didn’t ask nicely, now you’ll never know.
Nyah.
:p
Yeah! I was gonna explain but…
(Squirrels won’t nest below this level)
I think it’s sold by the same people who make the bacon stretcher.
I got the bacon pump.
Hehehe trojans
What’s next? Spyware?
More Win on the Far Right: Exedrin- for the After Migrane
It’s for the “Honey, I have a headache”.
I have assache.
Cue the barrage of gay jokes…
No, I figured you just couldn’t read the sign on the fence…
Yeah, the sign was pretty ambiguous, to be fair…
That’s what you get for being such a butthead.
Definitely a big picnic WIN!
Let’s have a picnic! I’ll bring the condoments, you bring the weiners.
Practice safe lunch, always use a condiment.
I’m ready!
Bring your buns on over!
I’ve even got a tree to lay you under.
OOPS! I mean lay you out under.
CRUD! I mean lay your blanket out under.
I knew you’d have a field day with this one.
Are you addressing moi??? What can you be implying???? *studies fingernails*
You are alfresco-getter around here.
Nothing gets pasture-eyes, does it Admiral?
Pastuerized?
bastardized?
You think that you are a sassy knoll-it-all, but really you’re a mound of fail.
The sad thing is, no matter how many times you tor him up in the past, hill keep coming back.
I’m such a moraine! I had to peak at Wikipedia before I tor up your spelling.
PS – I like big buttes and I cannot lie!
You guys made quite a mesa things.
I love sassy knoll-it-alls! I like knolling everything, and my friends knoll with me! Come on let’s do to KNOLL!
A lark in the meadow is fun. Care to come along with me?
It’s plain to see that we need to steppe out together.
Hey…c’mere, I want to show you something funny. Not funny strange, but funny ha-ha!
Oooohhhhh, you said condom-ENTS. My mistake, I’ll just puts these away.
*stuffs convenience store bag into the bottom of the picnic basket*
Condom ants can ruin a picnic.
♫
Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
♫
A heart-shaped box?
Depends how you wax it.
(*actually has a heart-shaped box*)
*high-fives dragon*
*grin!*
dont you mean *vertical grin*?
Vagina and vulva are different things, you know!
Both are a mystery to ghehorg, though.
Vulvas have a better safety rating.
“Boxy…but good!”
Beer through the nose hurts. Just so you know.
So does Lemsip…
My jaw aches from grin-lock.
I’d walk a mile for your vertical smile!
A smoothly waxed box is always a pleasure to behold.
Condom mints? Sounds tasty.
wanna find out?
Maybe they’re flavoured condoms?
If you can taste your condom, you’re doing it wrong.
What if someone else is doing the tasting?
I don’t get the point of giving someone a blow job through a condom…
It doesn’t taste very good.
I’d imagine it wouldn’t feel very good either. Lose/lose?
Pretty much.
Confirmed, from a recipient point of reference.
Definitely not worth the effort, or the 35 Euros… Wait, did I say that out loud? Damn!
Only 35? You sure it was a girl?
*snork*
Wow, there’s a possibility that never needed to be opened. EVER…lol
So then what IS the point of a flavored condom?
Safety that tastes awful.
To prepare the area for a lickin afterwards!
for jr high kids that think anything flavored+private parts=sexiest thing ever
and seriously, condom+blowjob=eating cheezbuger w/ wrapper
obvious solution- cheeeseburger flavored condoms.
wait.. if theres cheese on your meat… then… oh god….
The buns will go on top!
that’s not kosher!
Not risking getting an STD.
really REALLY safe sex I guess. Definitely lose/lose.
I think the point is not to have genital herpes end up on your mouth. But, hey, that’s just not my cup of tea.
Oh, I see. I tend to avoid being sexually intimate with those infected with herpes. But, hey, that’s just not my cup of tea.
Oooh! I love STI talk.
*drags up soap box*
HPV, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, and a few more rare things you can catch via the mouth can be asympomatic. One in 5 people has HPV; one in ten herpes. Many, asymptomatic. I don’t know what rare superpowers of STI detection you have, but I think perhaps it’s easier to think you’re avoiding it than than admit you’re just ignoring the possiblity of it.
*gets off soap box, apologizes to Loz, goes back to sex nerd corner*
Now, all that being said, I don’t use condoms or dental dams for oral sex because they suck, for all the reasons mentioned above.
I think that’s only a fail if it’s church picnic supplies. It looks like a banner day otherwise.
Definitely not a fail.
http://www.banglebangle.co.uk/
go away.
thank God all women love your bangles, because they sure don’t love spammers with shaved heads and no real career
…and that happed to be suffering from an EPIC BURN
Bangles?
*Breaks Failblog rule number 2*
Bangles?
*walks like an Egyptian*
For a second, I thought failblog was Fallout and then I saw a 2…
So I was all excited over a fellow Lone Wanderer.
I read it over and realized my mistake
Fellow Lone Wanderer?
Isn’t that an oxymoron?
Just started, haven’t even left the vault yet.
Too bad they dont have shadow condoms for the light penises. I bet every shadow that crosses that bridge ends up pregnant.
First of all, posting in the wrong fail FAIL.
Second of all, ain’t many Shadows in the world. I, for one, have never gotten pregnant from crossing a bridge, for reasons which are many and varied.
Fail? No way. Having lots of sex outdoors, practicing safe sex = Win!
Definite win.
Yeah, no idea why this is fail…?
WTF Fail? Why else would you go on a picnic?
its cheaper than getting a hooker.
its cheaper than getting a hooker.
thats just rediculous but that makes for a happy camper
WOW that is awesome
sexy picnic?
*Is getting tired of fake and or repeated fails*
Boy Scouts earning their Beaver Hunting badges!
Unless you’re counting the Scoutmasters getting their Cub hunting badges *grin*
sounds like a good picnic to me
I don’t know about you, but that’s exactly what I take for my picnics..
I guess they’re for picnics with Quagmire.
I love how they put the excedrin right next to the condoms.
163th!
What are they talking about? That’s not a Fail! It’s a WIN!
Well, at least there is some Excedrin there for when shes in pain!!!
now that’s a picnic I’d go to
” Hey Boo-Boo let’s get us a pic-a-nic basket “
Mental image deleted. Thank you for failing.
“Holy crap, Yogi, look what’s in the picnic basket! What the f*ck has the Ranger been up to out in the woods?”
Poor Boo-Boo.
Say hi to the kids for me, I’ll be too busy still going on picnics.
Cheesecake?
Mm, cheesecake…
Avis! Yikes!
What?
Stupid failblog. This was suppose to be a reply to the torture/revenge comment. Sorry for the confusion.
Go see that one now! You’ll really cringe!
Ooh my kind of picnic.
Fail?? Looks like a… SchWIN!
Double win, in italian trojan means something like “bitch”
Picnics are fun…!
This fails to fail, but why are all the displays so full? I’d have thought this idea would catch on like wildfire.
sounds like my kind of picnic.
Well, whenever you feel like getting onto second base on a picnic, you know where to go.
Second? I thought condoms were for third base
Really? ‘Cause I would have thought condoms meant a “home run”. Y’know, as in “all the way”.
“Slide into home”.
That would be the one.
Safe!
Marius! You FOX you!
I just call ‘em as I see ‘em
hahaha notice the excedrin ha ha for his and her needs
That’s one hell of a picnic.
What perfect containers for leftovers. If you go on a picnic, always bring your Seal-a-Meal!
Hmm, Looks more like a win to me.
i love how the excedrin is right next to the condoms….
I’d rate this 5 stars if you labeled it “win”. But your fail-dar is broken, apparently. So 1 star.
*points faildar at Ham*
*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!*
Nope…seems to be working just fine.
Dragonwriter, you really do need a life. You fail.
Ooh, another troll! And this one has commenting-on-time fail, too!
commenting on time?
Yes, bravely insulting people on threads old enough so as to not catch much notice. You’ve caught my notice.
i think this is a picnic WIN!
Not a picnic fail. It’s a labeling fail; the picnic itself is win.
Can’t have a picnic without big meat sandwiches!
Yeah, this one’s a win.
Yeah, it’s funny that Excedrin is in there.
Best. Picnic. Ever.
Yep, a picnic to a nude beach!
what’s more disturbing? that this is considered picnic supplies, or that there is pain reliever right next to the condoms?
=] this could be a Really good picnic item!! you never know what gunna happen!! Hahaa
The biggest fail in my mind is in the packaging itself for Trojan.
They show two people kissing.
You don’t need condoms to kiss, people!
The least they could do is show a realistic scenario
Or just nothing at all.
to keep the bugs off of the hot dogs
This is very useful 2 “RAISE A TENT WITH UR FEMALE COMPANIONS”
It’s so nasty how there are different types of condoms in different colors. It’s like, “hey, now you can match picnic blanket patterns with sex utensils!” Ewwwww………
+ (
Umm how is this fail?
IMO if the picnic will end up requiring condoms then that a WIN in my book.
Maybe the meaning of ‘picnic’ has changed during thru out the years
more like picnic win…
Hey don’t complain! There are a bunch of different flavors! Maybe they have Ham-sandwich or something like that!
Did anyone besides me notice the excedrine (Tylenol) next to the condoms? Looks like they planned this out pretty well…
i see nothing wrong with this.
/jk
i hope not…
Take notice of the Excedrin right next to the condoms.
wtf are they!? Condoms?!
gotta eat your meat