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Standing on the top of the mound with a white dress.
How romantic.
Maybe for a redneck.
Why not have the wedding next to the mound?
In fact, maybe it’s not a mound, just a mound-flavoured wedding cake!
Make sure the shogtun has a satin bow on it. After all this is a formal redneck wedding.
They sure can hunt’emselves some fiiiine squirrels! Nobody leave the table hungry!
Free electricity ! Just tap it from the overhanging wires ! YIHAAA !
Electricity from the coal power generator!
The cables could be useful for getting rid of unwanted guests.
Get out the tar and cables !
I can still hear the banjos. Keep paddling! Keep paddling!!
Best comment!
Or rolling down stairs, through glass doors.
WHAT! Hunt? Eat?
* SCAMPERS AWAY *
Stinky Wizzleteats taught their grandmothers to suck eggs.
ren and stimpy reference? not bad…dotdotdot
They sure can hunt’emselves some fiiiiine squirrels! Nobody leave the table hungry!
ngah… siamese comments.
Anything worth saying once….
…said twice decreases its value?
People can hang a sign anywhere, it doesn’t make it so.
[Picard]
Make it so, number one.
[/Picard]
It IS so! Muhahahaha!
Surprised there’s no trailer park in the background. I can say that because I live in a trailer park!
Does too. Otherwise what’s the point?
the comedy of failblog
Its called word inflation.
That’s what is happening in Zimbabwe right now.
My parents went to a John Deere-themed wedding. No kidding. The bride rode one of those mini-tractors down the aisle in a barn. And this was in Delaware- We don’t really have a lot of rednecks around here… unless you count South Jersey :-p
Was there a duct tape wedding dress and tuxedo with it?
I wish… oddly enough, the bride was also not pregnant…
However, there were hunting dogs and horses in the audience…
We got some real rednecks here in Iowa, a most unlikely place to find them but we got em by the trailer park full…..lol
Not even then. I know a lot of rednecks who’d protest. *snickers*
its tradition for us rednecks and hillbillies to get married on mounds.
absolutely. just the other day my sister married my dad in a mound of horse shit. and yes he gave her away to himself.
Wet blanket time. It’s just an ad on a fence.
LOL. agreed.
Is “wet blanket” the new “photoshopped”?
And the fence looks like it was made by retarded spiders.
Yeah, but location, location, location.
Front, rear, front.
Liquor in the… OK, stale joke.
Yes, but, I see that your thinking what I was thinking
Kindred spirits.
But I suspect ErickB will only be interested if there are restraints involved…
Hear that, EB, you’re gettin’ a rep with the ladies…
He’s got a felt fetish.
Why is that so bad? I like getting felt…
I remember when I used to get hit on by the ladies on FailBlog…
*sigh*
Seems like that’s a pleasure only the FailBlog new kids on the block enjoy nowadays…
*reminisces*
*Hits on Shadow*with a pillow*
*gets up very slowly*
*looks at Kelzy*
*fire develops in eyes*
*uses magical powers to shoot popcorn bullets at Kelzy*
Hey, Shadow. You’re looking rather dashing today… what about you and me go upstairs and… admire the new bed?
… Not nearly as subtle as I would’ve expected from you Loz… Still, I’m game for it… I mean, it’s not like anything will happen…
I don’t usually go for younger men though…
First time for everything, honey
And who says that’s what we were going to do? I thought we were just going to admire your lovely new bed?
Oh, okay! Let’s go
*follows shadow upstairs*
Isn’t it a lovely big bed? *jumps*
Indeed. I could just lay here and fall asleep…
*ZZZzzzzz*
Oh…
*feels awkward*
Err, ok, good night.
*lies down* ZZZZzzzzz….
Hey…that’s FAKE snoring!
*snores louder and more convincingly*
Or a real bee in her bonnet
*wakes up*
Psst… Loz! You bored too?
Bored? No, I was *mast…
Okay Shadow. Life lesson NUMBER ONE:
Never…EVER…tell a woman in bed with you that you are bored.
Hahaha… Loz doesn’t seem to mind. She was *mast…*ing. Whatever that is.
I’m not sure what *mast…*ing is either. She never seems to do it when I’m around.
WHAT? ALWAYS tell a woman you’re bored! She will try to impress you more! yay!…or she’ll get the duct tape and pliers, but you never know until you try
*Mast…*ing is self pleasure, and if she has to do it for herself, then wht soes she have you for?
Look, if you’re too pretentious not to get married on a gravel mound covered in tarps, you’re a total bridezilla. Get over yourself.
Ya more moneh for beer and such.
Would you want your marriage to be on the rocks from the start?
If you’re getting married there, it’s more Mickey’s than “on the rocks”.
Several of the guests would already be stoned most likely.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Maybe these people are dirt poor!
Do you recall any of us saying that we have no flaws or vices? Nooooo. I’m sure you’vce never thought horrid things about people because of the way they act. It’s called a ‘joke’. Take one whenever you’re feeling uppity enough to quote the Bible when YOU, my dead, are on a satire site, made specifically for insulting people’s failures.
lol, I totally said, ‘my dead’, when I meant, ‘my dear’.
Haha, you’re my zombie.
*psst* Hell Hath No Fury…
I think they were making dirt and rock jokes. Further down there are manure jokes in the same manner…
Don’t worry, HHNF, we’ll still be here when you’re done untwisting your panties.
Don’t worry, I already have a call in to the Institute for the Humo(u)r Impaired.
We can sign HHNF up for Humo(u)r 101 too, while we’re at it.
But will that interfere with his coursework at Universidad de Moron?
that’s okay, I’m not wearing any.
and it’s called British Humor 102
plz to learn it kthxbai
Btw, how can I get myself an avatar on this blog ?
Gravatar.com
Thank you…
…although you don’t seem an expert in this particular field.
I hate gravatar. But good luck, and godspeed. It messed up my whole process, and I actually like my quilty avatar here:)
Mine went without a hitch.
WordPress.com
I got scary eyes! OoooOooooh!
So’s your avatar. Spooky.
I chose it on account if its uncanny resemblance
Me too
Me three.
Wait, fish can talk!??
No, but we can type.
I might get a picture of a spork, but I can’t find one tilting the right way. Plus I like my gray hourglasses. Randomly generated avatars FTW!
I just like flashing some skin… *wicked grin*
I have an idea for a an avatar… what do you guys think? I’ve linked to it with my name.
*removes superfluous ‘a’*
VERY nice!
Pretty! You might want to consider chopping it down, though. I haven’t been to gravatar, so I don’t know how that works…
Awesome, I’ll on this ASAP. Right as soon as my email starts actually working again…
I’ll get right on this*
Damn I can’t spell.
No, you just accidently your verb (and adjective… adverb… what would you call that “right”?)!
I hate when people reference the accidenty fail but spell the ‘accidenty’ bit wrong.
*slaps*
*whimpers*
*takes out the l that snuck in there*
Go to gravatar.com
You beat me by seconds.
You beat yourself by seconds ???
Ha ha. No Dilly did. You’ll do well here.
*cries*
Now now. Don’t cry. Here have an almond flavored Nibbler cookie.
I made one of Smithers staring longingly at Mr. Burns, too.
That’s odd, I made one of Maggie staring longingly at her pacifier! Of course, it looks like she’s cross-eyed, because she had to look down to see it and everything…
And then she shot Mr. Burns! Worst.Plotline.Ever.
Two words for you: Family Guy. The Simpsons really is pathetic compared to Family Guy.
Yeah, but the Family Guy is just a cartoon.
The Beatles were just a band. Led Zeppelin, just a band. The Beach Boys, just a band. The Sex Pistols, just a band. The Clash, just a band. Crass, just a band. Minor Threat, just a band. The Cure, just a band. The Smiths, just a band. Nirvana, just a band. The Pixies, just a band. Oasis, just a band. Radiohead, just a band. Bloc Party, just a band. The Arctic Monkeys, just a band. The next big thing, just a band.
I no follow you, pob.
This, just a comment. And much worse than all of the stuff you mentioned.
I love the mantra. Is it something you chant for reassurance ?
I no follow you either. What are you trying say?
It’s from a song called “Thou Shalt Always Kill” by Dan Le Sac. The preceding lyric is “thou shalt not put musicians or recording artists on rediculous pedestals no matter great they are or were.” I was playing off Mookie’s comment that Family Guy was just a cartoon.
Oh, my bad. I’m prolly too old for that reference.
Mookie, there is no “too old” when it comes to music. I’m ‘old’ compared to many, yet I listen to many many different types of music.
Oh, and POB, Minor Threat is not just a band. Nor were the Sex Pistols or The Clash. They helped define an entire genre and generation! Nirvana? Just a band.
CRASS?? Holy crap, POB. Haven’t heard THAT in a while.
*goes and listens to LCD Soundsystem’s “Losing my Edge*
I followed… but Stating-the-Obvious points for Mookie- Family Guy IS just a cartoon…
pob, I am SO impressed you’ve heard of Dan le Sac!
I saw them live in May, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.
You can click my name if you want to see a poor quality video I took of that very song
Loz, “Thou Shalt Always Kill” blew up on the radio over here when the single was released, but then kind of just disappeared. I’ve been meaning to check out his other stuff.
.
Lunchbox/Dodo, again I was just quoting the lyrics from the song.
…and thank you.
On gravel meth?
That is a mound of dried manure, thus the tarps.
No one worries about gravel getting wet.
Is the fence to stop it escaping?
That’s the poop.
They don’t want it to scat-ter.
You think that tarp is guano stop it?
I think its fecesable.
I don’t know… even with the tarp, it may be pooshing it a bit.
Well we did try it twice before but I think the turd time is the charm.
This thread is a bunch of crap
Quit being such a party pooper!
Do you suppose the wedding guests would wear dungarees?
Have to get over the hill before they get burried under it. Appropriate metaphor for marriage if you ask me.
i hope there is a ‘free dirt’ sign nearby for additional failure
Don’t you mean ‘free dirt for $1′?
Don’t you mean “Free Dirt, 500 Yen”?
Don’t you mean “Free Dirt, 500 Yen”?
Buy one comment for double the price, get the second one free?
It’s called stereotyping
A slag heap – what better place to cement relations with your slag.
On a 1970s couch?
Ugly couch must die!!
But how are the newlywed’s kids gonna inherit it then?
They accidenty kids so I bought them a card.
I’ll make a donation to disable them … every little bit counts!
And they have an open bar with free beer for 500 Yen.
For an unlimited time! (45 minutes… or 48 if you live in pumpkin’ town)
woo under 100!
Congrats!
In b4100. Handjobs $10!
How much for ZJs?
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
With all your extra hands thats a bargain.
I know, right?
Right and left and other right, too!
Interesting how the term “redneck” can be flung around at will but other hue based perjoratives brand one as a racist. I demand equal political correctness rights!
I second this motion, I doubt anyone would want to be affiliated with “rednecks”.
Maybe it is the best option we have. ‘Inbred’ sounds little better.
Kissing cousins.
Kissing is OK. It is when the humping starts the problems begin.
“And that’s why it’s a bad idea when cousins marry!”
What has marriage got to do with humping?
It is the signal (to the woman, at least) that sex is no longer necessary, because legally, you have to love each other
I believe in the Church of Izzard. But you’re totally right!
*gets all dreamy-eyed*
Me too, Dil…me too.
I second this motion!
Have you visited the cousin couples website? Sounds like the perfect summary of it.
Any euphemisms that you can suggest?
Are you using “suggest” as a euphemism?
Not really.
As a euphemism for what? Now i’m intrigued!
enforce upon ?
That’ll do. Still, no.
The term ‘redneck’ has nothing to do with a person’s race, seeing as many of the people living in the hills in those days were freed slaves, so they, too, would be called ‘rednecks’, because the term had everything to do with iron deficiencies and other malnourishments, which caused the back of the neck to turn red, and the skin would peel off, not from sunburn. But that’s okay, keep on with your justification of all kinds of racial slurs. *dirty cracker, lol*
Um, did you actually read the post or just want to rant? He’s not justifying “redneck”, he’s saying it shouldn’t be used, since we’ve determined that all other hue-based terms are “politically incorrect”.
…..wow, hence the ‘dirty cracker’ joke at the end….did YOU actually read my post or just want to rant?
I do not see the FAIL here, just because you cannot appreciate being married there doesn’t mean others cannot appreciate getting married there. I mean, the place probably has beautiful views (when you stand on top of the mound of dirt) and the barbed wire fence will keep out those pesky paparazzi.
theres a prison on the other side of the mound.
Well the barbed wire will take care of those advantageous inmates as well!
Cicili knows about the prison, because that’s where here apostrophe is currently incarcerated! She visits it once a month.
I hope it’s not a conjugal visit, as that sounds physically awkward.
*her
We should send you to prison for stealing some poor fellow’s ‘E’.
Don’t worry about cicili, she also thought an avatar was one-dimensional.
Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he’s underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows, Particle Man
I’d be willing to account for the possibility that a certain subset of people could be of abnormal height.
In Istanbul, not Constantinople?
No, in the Birdhouse in your Soul
We could be sleeping in the flowers, we could sleep all afternoon
That mound represents Mount Trashiebin of the Alco-holly tribe in Georgia! It is a sacred place where many go to cement their love of family!
You can’t go to it anymore because the Russians invaded it a few months ago.
The tanks are hidden behind the mound.
with their cousins?
The FAIL is that straight folks can get married at a sh*thole like this, but homosexuals can’t get married anywhere. (Assuming that this slag heap isn’t located in one of the few states that allow gay marriage.)
Wow, Fun-Sucker Man, your pugnacity powers are great!
*let’s never get the first two letters of you superhero name mixed up*
I think you were looking in a mirror when you said that. *intentionally refuses to hand you an r*
Can’t be any worse than having your wedding at Shrute Farms.
hey, this is great for a construction worker’s wedding…”you may now kiss the bride and then get back to work moving this slag heap”
It’s so easy to envision another sign next to this saying, “We are serious! =[”.
Hey, WTF, we had that reserved!
Win
Thats where I buried my hubby after our wedding night….do you think it’s a bit obvious?
Obvious windows paint edit phail?
I believe that this is a temporary storage site for road works. The picture looks as if it was taken in rural Australia which means ‘WEDDING’ probably refers to Wedding Shire in NSW.
Hey, this is up in Napa Valley.. we drove past this on our way to the Gundlach Bundschu winery and had a great laugh…
Bahaha!I live down the street from this
i just got asked to get married here. where exactly is this? we’re on our way!
haha I think that’s near my house….in Kentucky
~Insert redneck joke here~
I’ve seen this sign…it’s on the highway between Sonoma and Napa. Everytime my wife and I drive by, we have to laugh.