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Hello, and welcome to THE COMMENTS SHOW!
*gameshow music*
I’m the first contestant.
Welcome pc!
The rules are:
1). Don’t be a troll
2) Don’t masturbates
3) Err…
4) That’s it!
So saying first is welcome?
No. That is illegal in Failblog. So is ’second’ and ‘last’
How do you know when someone’s won? Is there a prize?
You get to live!
I thought I’d be getting the donkeys head.
That’s third prize.
Fourth is a subscription to OMFG magazine.
You mean the monthly magazine of the Omaha
Mega Finance Group?
No, the Ontario Mega Finance Group.
“You won’t believe it, eh!”
Onanistic Men F*cking Grapefruit?
Cover your eyes minors! Whatever you do, do not eat any grapefruit!
*looks to see what Dr. Hugh has been putting in his coffee*
Probably cicili’s soup extract…
Oh no! I drank some of that!!!
*runs to bathroom*
Oh crap. Okay, anyone who had some of cicili’s soup extract, line up here for your antidote.
I don’t think anyone is willing to admit it
Dang! Am I the only idiot who drank it AND admitted it?
I think so, sweetie.
*pats fluffy consolingly*
hey cuttlefish- that’s insulting. Try ‘cover your eyes, under 12s!’
Fruit f*cking is ok as long as they love each other.
Oiled Men Fighting Giraffes. I hear it’s all the rage amongst ladderless window washers.
Obama must feel great?
Wow. That’s a great prize, since most FAILBlog-users do not have a
life at all!
Haha, that’s funny. But actually, I’m George Clooney.
How sad for you
I heard poor George had the smallest…
well I shouldn’t say that, but why else would you still be single?
Maybe it is impossibly big?
No, I know George Clooney. It’s not.
Wow, Fluffy!!!! Exactly how “well” do you know him????? (note appropriate use of quotations)
It was only guppy love.
Thanks Admiral. You’ve managed to put the song “Muskrat Love” in my head.
Dammit…now I’M humming “Radar Love”.
I’m gonna get you for that Dragon… Um…. “Dude Looks Like a Lady!” That one always tortures me.
Hey Mookie, It’s A Small World After All. If we’re discussing earworms.
Thank you all so much.
I leave you with “Chuck E’s in Love”
Ugh! Just typing the title is killing me.
Ha! Your weak earworms are weak!
Let me just leave this with you … kickin’ it old school ..
♫ ♪ I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung ♫ ♪
They actually played this at my older daughter’s Father Daughter dance
along with some Barry White tunes. Talk about awkward.
I went to a wedding once where they hired a VERY amateur dj, who decided it would be appropriate to play “I Wanna Know What Turns You On” as the bride walked down the aisle.
Yeah, we took those moments to go for a drink or some food.
I’m several fails behind. I’ve been sick. : P
Awwwww, Katy.. and you came back just in time for the earworm show…
Because you have standards?
Or measurements?
(nests won’t comment below this level)
Hahaha, watch yourself, mate.
You better checkity-check yourself before you wreckity-wreck yourself!
5) Obscure references are encouraged!
Potent Potables!
for 500 yen please, Alex.
That’s the new donkey ride at the county fair. There the donkey rides YOU!
Are we in soviet Russia now?
Nope, just the county fair.
You invented a time machine?
Or… did someone break the STC again?
No, the wormhole had already formed when I got there, I swear!
Show me your hands…
Awww, man!
*sighs*
*shows hands*
*wonders confusedly what is on his hands*
I knew it! They’re covered in guilt! Can’t you see?
I don’t think he/she can, as his/her eyes are shrouded in shame.
he*, his*
And yeah, that must be it. I do like his cloak of humiliation, though.
Do not forget his daze of despair.
what must I do to make things right? Just don’t make me sit on the fence.
And his raptuous remorse.
You cannot miss his misguided menace.
Nor can you deny his discredit!
Try to avoid his impossibly incessant ignorance.
ouch, that one hurt a bit.
I’m sorry Random, I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m
cleanin’ out my closet, {one more time},
I said i’m sorry Random, I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i’m
cleanin’ out my closet…
Songs make everything better.
Not when they’re rap songs…
Especially when Eminem sings them.
Not if you’re Roseanne or Jeff Gordon.
How did you guess my true identity (I’ll leave you to guess which)
happy birthday is a good song rapped or not
Is it that Eminem is actually Roseanne?
Or Rosie O’donnel. I hear she got ill flow, yo.
*barfs*
Actually, I found this song recently. It’s rap(…ish) and it’s actually pretty good: Robyn – Cobrastyle.
bom diddi bom di-dang di-dang diggi diggi…
Shadow, isn’t that Kid Rock?
Nope. It’s Robyn. Maybe a remix? I dunno. But it would say somewhere. I found it on Youtube. Click my name for my link.
It was just on CSI: NY about 2 hours ago. Kid Rock was performing it. Quite possibly the only thing that he may have done that I liked.
I dunno. Everywhere I find it, it says Robyn performs it… here, here’s the lyrics, maybe this’ll clear up any confusion…
I press trigger, I don’t press people button
Nobody chat come face me with somethin
Like how I have twenty-two in’a me somethin
Ten is for you so who gon’ get the next dozen, fool
(repeat 4x)
Anytime they ready punahussy start war
Mess around and see who get it spread on th’ tar
My style is the bom-diddi-bom di-dang di-dang diggi-diggi
This rude girl don’t play with the bom di-dang di-dang diggi-diggi
(2x)
Punahussy sit around and a watch a girl live
Watch a girl roll, now you know I roll big
You sit around and plan to put girl in fridge
Rememba when you dig a hole, it’s two you gon’ dig
Certain little boys I just stop deal with
Tell you they’re your friend and then badmouth again
My style is the bom-diddi-bom di-dang di-dang diggi-diggi
Find More lyrics at http://www.sweetslyrics.com
This rude girl don’t play with the bom di-dang di-dang diggi-diggi
(2x)
I press trigger, I don’t press people button
Nobody chat come face me with somethin
Like how I have twenty two and I’m miss somethin
Ten is for you so who gon’ get the next dozen, fool
Anytime they ready punahussy start war
Mess around and see who get it spread on th’ tar
My style is the bom-diddi-bom di-dang di-dang diggi-diggi
This rude girl don’t play with the bom di-dang di-dang diggi-diggi
(4x)
Copy and pasted off of internet. Blessed be Google.
That sweetlyrics.com thing, that was unintentional, in case you didn’t figure that out already.
o.O
Is too late to join in the banter games?? >.<
Avis I believe you were thinking of “Baw-witta-baw” by Kid Rock perhaps?
third
I already blew it on number two.
That means…
*Drum roll*
You get FOOOOOOMED!!! by Dragonwriter!
I’m not sure he needs it. Anyone who blows his number twos should be given a wide berth.
I kinda have to agree…
*scootches away from pc*
Dragon, could you FOOOOOMMMMM the fumes from that blow up? The air is getting kinda nasty.
*takes a deeeeeeep breath*
*chokes on noxious fumes*
*jumps as the planned *FOOOOM!!* goes up nose*
*runs wildly around the thread with smoke spouting from nostrils*
*dunks head in pudding bukkit*
AAAAaahhhhh. Damn…where’s a firefighter when you need one? Tell Lunchbox he owes me one!
Armageddon!
ROFLMAO!
WOW. I literally Rofled on that one.
Sure…. We ALL Do IT.
[HINT: Just don't Do IT or Admit IT in a public forum.]
Damn it, I failed 1 & 2 already.
Don’t masturbates?
There should only be one s.
Oh, I love these things, can I play?
Contestant numero uno! Tell us a bit about yourself!
well (says the guy who’s technically contestant #2) I’m not a troll, nor am I currently masturbating, so I think I have a fair chance at this game show.
Alrighty, sounds good. Now let’s see who walks away with their pride, and who gets to be DEER SHANKED!
Can I please be behind curtain number 3?
If I was an ice cream, how would you take me?
In a sandwich
WRONG! The correct answer was, “Viagra-flavo(u)red, with a tall glass of water!”
Next contestant, please…!
What about on a dead bear?
“Who is Jerry Garcia”?
Can I sleep on that?
*masturbates!*
Wow! You’re so bad even you fall asleep on you?
Mmmm… saucy!
How do you like your martinis?
Just like I like my men…dry, neat, and dirty.
*Champagne cork pops*.
What…? No martini?!?
I believe you have shaken and stirred him.
Ooooh…LOVE the new look, Marius!
Get your rocks off, get your rocks off honey…
Thanks. It is just a test run. I haven’t decided on what to use yet. I Have been very short on time of late. Miss you guys!
Hi Marius! How about using your own pic?!!
Thinking about it. It’s din din time for now.
Hey all! Marius I like the avatar!
*hugs all around*
*scootches in to get hugged*
*HUG!*
Thanks for the little message you left me!
*having bad bad day*
Ooooh….*hug* for you too. What’s up, sweets?
Aww, Avis, what’s wrong????
TRIMP? Not any more. It was amicable, though. It’s just kinda sad.
Awwwww…shit.
*hugs again*
Thanks, I think I’m gonna wallow now.
*hugs Avis too*
*and everyone else, on principle*
Oooh, thanks. I needed that, too. I don’t think my day was as bad as Avis’, but a guy did manage to make me cry. That’s never fun.
Ah, hell. *goes to wallow with Avis*
*is gonna watch “Forrest Gump” later tonight*
That ought to be sad enough.
A guy made you cry, Dragon??? Grrrrrr….. Where is he, I’m gonna sock him! Bastard.
*snork*
That helped.
*sniffle*
I’ll hold him down for you Mookie! Get him! GET HIM!
*gets the video camera*
This should be documented. And shown to men who dare make us cry.
This will be MUCH better viewing that “Forrest Gump”, don’t you think, Avis?
THAN!!
I blame the tears…they were blurring my vision.
:p
Oh, most definitely. “Forrest Gump” is guaranteed to make me cry though. And that is tonight’s goal. To cry about something that has nothing to do with me.
*more hugs*
*grabs the popcorn and sits down to watch the movie with friends*
Okay, my answer is “viagra-flavo(u)red, with a tall glass of water!” do I win yet?
Seriously?
Poor donkey! they sure suffer a lot of abuses…..
Geeze…you are still at it?
Maybe it’s too late to play, but can I be contestant 3?
THIS POOR DONKEY
*more gameshow music*
This isn’t an actual comment, but a reply to the previous comment given.
Thus, I must award you with the most ironic label: Comment FAIL
*Yawn*
That one was boring.
You’re boring.
Total ownage
Oval Bonage
Copper tonage
Cellular Phonage
crappy vonage?
Early Stone Age.
your Mom is boring!
Oh, ja.
Rastafarian spelling fail.
Getting the joke fail? Or were you making a joke yourself…
If you can’t tell, then it just counts as a fail.
But who’s fail?
You :p
Who is fail? I’d agree with Loz.
Whose fail?…again, I think Loz nailed it.
LOL
No, his Dad is boring.
Boring his Mom, that is.
Impossible, since they are both the same person!
And that, children, is what is known as “unbirthing”.
That is the worst insult I’ve ever heard in my whole life. Then again your mom is totally excited, at least she was last night.
At the end of the day, this donkey was found lacking and sold to some nefarious looking italians…
That sounds awfully intimidating
Who then awarded the fourth place prize to some poor unsuspecting shop owner they were trying to extort…
Maybe it was a stand in donkey. Their normal moke was a bigger one.
Looked more like a fly-by donkey.
The replacement proved to be a delegate ass.
jump jump!
And the donkey says, “WTF?”
no… the donkey’s used to it!… doesn’t even care anymore…
but why don’t they put more in front than at the end?
fäil…
HAs to be balanced correctly or hanging out in mid air will be the least of the donkeys problems…
Think Brokeback donkey, actually no don’t… that is weird. Oh great here we go with the gay donkey show…
If you insist…
I’ve never seen that show. What channel is it on?
It was a made for TV documentary that aired on HBO last year. Shame it never made it to the big screen.
Okay…did they not get the concept of “up the ass”? I mean, “the ass is up”…maybe it’s a grammar/syntax thing??
I’m thinking clerksII
not if theres four wheels on the cart. then it wont tip like that
That is why they’re a 3rd world country. They don’t understand the concept of leverage.
Based on the recent activity of hedge funds and creditors, this comment holds true regardless of third-world status…
I hear some of them don’t even have physics at all.
They do have gravity though.
Everyone knows that gravity was a myth sparked off by NASA to stop people from roaming free.
Everyone knows that NASA is a myth sparked off by the US goverment to make us believe that the glowworms trapped in the sky are, actually, STARS!!!
They don’t follow the law of gravity.
Dang it! Refresh the page before making comments, fish!
I’ll take this opportunity to ask: “how many fluffy fish are there on the planet?”.
It is a rare species indeed.
Just one, and we love her.
(And awwww! You’re a cuddle-fish! You two should get together!)
Awwww…. thank you Dragon.
And yes, I am a rare species. Was created when a nuclear reactor, a pair of bunny slippers and a microwave… you know what, nevermind.
But society would never accept it! Gays are just about accepted where I live, but two fish?! It would be social suicide and actual murder!
Where are you from, cuddlefish?
Teletubbyland, clearly.
That can’t be. Cuttlefish said gays are just about accepted, and in Teletubbyland they are abundant.
Plenty. You just have to put them in the dryer for a little while.
Law? :O
What’s the penalty if I break it?
Just a fine or is a stint at Gitmo included?
Did we get to vote on it?
Gitmo will be shut down next year. We’ve already voted on it.
and we’re replacing gravity the year after that.
3rd world Muslim skin jobs
Pardon?
dangeruss is just talking about Cylons…
yeah, my bad
I think a simple ‘Whaaa?!’ would be more appropriate.
Or a “Double you tea eff mate?”
Eye Cee.
(did) U C D E D B D B?
WHAT?!?!
You mean ‘WHAT!’
Sound it out, did U C D E D B D B = did you see the (D) itty (ED) bitty (BD) bee?
I did! I did C D B! D B S A PD B!
(The bee is a pretty bee)
D B S A BZ B 2!!
L, M N O B. O S A R!
M R Ducks?
*brain explodes*
CM ducks?
M 8 ducks.
OSAR.
LIB, MR ducks….
Sorry, I was feeling rather middle-class.
Indubitably.
Inexorably.
Inconcievably
Irrevocably.
Incandescently.
insurmountably
Impotency.
That killed the -ly suffix combo!
that’s true, sadly.
Irredeemably.
Nice word choice, Dragon!
Inconclusively.
Incontrovertibly.
Insufferably.
Indubitably!
Indecisively.
psst, dragon, that one’s already been used!
Goddammit.
*thwacks self*
Inadmissibly.
Intimately?
Incomparably.
…Intoxicatingly.
Immeasurably
Indubitably
psst, Marius, that one’s already been used! It’s what started this whole mess.
Maybe he wants to get thwacked…
*hands Dragon the halibut and steps back*
I was um…er…trying to make Dragon feel better?
*sighs* *takes off hat and awaits thwacking*
Hee hee hee…!
*kerrrrr-THWACK-ah!!*
Oooh, that felt good.
Glad I could help.
another long word that means the same
of course!
Heyyy, you put on some weight, it looks good on you.
That was meant for ‘russ.
Yeah, we kinda guessed, seeing as you replied to his comment…
BURN
Methinks it was because it is so far away from it…
And also, Methinks: DAMN, I feel like a gray woolly barrel.
lol ambiguous antecedent fail on myself.
that the replier was so far away from the replyee…
Donkey looks like he used to it
He did seem fairly relaxed up there. “It’s a living…”
I think the donkey was well aware that he wasn’t the only ass involved in the situation.
lol
Good one.
“I like this point of view…”
Donkeys are actually very patient, except when they’re very stubborn.
Yeah, they can be real asses sometimes.
This video gives a whole new meaning to “Ass in the air.”
tee hee…
Don’t put your ass above the cart. No wait, that doesn’t sound right…
Good advice, though.
Patient and stubborn – two sides of the same coin…
I can see Turkmenistan from up here!
Can you see Uranus?
i think sometimes were all a bunch of asses hanging on, saying to ourselves, “its a living…”
I’m thinking this is more of a Lever Fail.
I think it is a Toyota.
?!
It’s their new hybrid model!
You mean like a hybrid donkey-retard ride?
.
.
Just like you mom.
BAZAAAM!
Self-ownage WIN!
Wow, I bet you came up with that one all by yourself, didn’t you.
Hey donkey boy, I ain’t your mother.
He knows that, he was talking to his!
He’s one of our favo(u)rite trolls…he does this to himself all the time!
…the best type of troll I suppose, except the non-existing ones of course.
Hey cloral, I probs asked you this before, but is your name from Pendragon?
That is a VERY confused donkey.
That is why he was meditating…
So he is a Yoga-donkey?
Yoda donkey?
Yogi-donkey?
Yoghurt spunky.
Yoghurt spanky?
But why did Yog hurt Spunky?
A levitating meditating yoga donkey called Yogurt the Wise, to be exact.
Is he selling merchandise?
Store Wars. I am Yogurt. Darth Tater does not stand a chance. Search your peelings, Cuke. You know it to be true.
while pedalling-while airborne?
He was actually the one lifting the cart up.
Notice how many bags they had to remove to get him down? Think about how they loaded it up, bag after bag, without noticing his, um, predicament. I like a focused worker, though.
Wow, I didn’t even think about that. It makes the situation all the more entertaining.
I think they had it perfectly balanced out, then a fly ruined their plans…
Very unfortunate.
Actually, the culprit was a butterfly flapping its wings in Hong Kong.
Um. No.
When the wagon tipped, bags would have slid back behind the wheel, further compounding the imbalance.
Buzzkill.
Fulcrum win, BTW.
In homage of Bachelor Party…. would you say the donkey is well-hung?
if that’s the case is the donkey available for rental at parties?
This is what happens when your ass is too small.
Yeah, fat asses rule!
Heeeeeeee!
Oh wont you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside your red firelight
Oh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go round
Ctrl+V job.
My baby fits me like flesh tuxedo,
I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo….
Big bottom, big bottom,
Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ‘em….
Years ago, my father and I saw Spinal Tap in concert.
Best. Concert. Ever.
Yeah, I have the DVD AND the album. It’s a classic, no doubt about it!
Yeah, that’s what the title of this video was on YouTube when it was first added — over 18 months ago.
Poor donkey ><
Thank you, I’ve been waiting for some one to say that. Donkeys can pull a great deal of weight in a well balanced load. But that takes the cake. It wasn’t even a big Donkey, he was skinny.
Poor Donkey!
Those guys had their ass in the air.
Flaunting their small ass right there in the middle of town and I bet they still didn’t get lucky.
Stuck-up ass.
Jack(ed) ass…
Just to be clear, I was talking about the donkey in the air and not the squirrel in the hat.
I bet that never happened to My Little Pony
Was it a sheep?
No, word from the crew tells me it’s actually a butterfly…
(hmm, did I quote that right?)
Hate to say it, but this is OLD!
And it’s a dupe too.
Meh. So am I.
donkey calmness win
Super chilled out donkey WIN!
goat fuckers rescued their goat…
If you think that’s a goat, I’d hate to see what your ass looks like.
^^^^^^^Animal Fail^^^^^^^^
Hmmm…buncha dudes moving white bags that put an ass into the air…oh snap, I know that woman!!!
Me too… If you wanna hang out, You’ve gotta take her out…
This is actually really sad. I feel bad for the donkey.
Bah, stupid arabs…
Why do you assume they’re Arabian? Ignorant ‘tard.
*Ahem* I think you are falling for classic racist trolling.
D’oh! Caught off-guard.
I’ll try to be more vigilant in future.
Easily done, easily done.
Because they are, they live among me I know how the look
they* ><
Woah I really fail don’t I?
…Yes
He shouts in slow motion “Noooooooooooo! Don’t give him/her acknowledgement! This is what they crave!”.
that donkey looks as if it’s been in that situation before….
I was thinking the same thing.
Not good to be a beast of burden in the Third World.
I love how it flails its legs as it goes back down trying to find ground…
He/she did look pretty darn calm given the situation.
I’d feel so embarrassed with my ass hanging out in the street like that.
First.
*SLAP*
Congratulations! You are only 3 hours late.
In the words of this great site – fail.
Fail.
Blog.
Dot org.
/
2008/
11/
18/logistics-fail/?cp=all#comment-173230
Aw, you took all the fun out of it. 3 or 4 more people could have replied.
.org
fucking douchebags – they should try to haul all this weight
Actually, their cart and harness isn’t bad. Their loading sucked, though. But if the amount of weight is distributed across that cart so that it tips back just a *little* – and not like the beginning of a donkey trebuchet that they show in the video — on city streets without huge hills, that donkey should be just fine.
Okay…”donkey trebuchet” made me belly laugh!!
If I was that donkey, I woulda RUN as soon as they put me back down on the street.
If you point your ass towards Mecca, … oh, I’m laughing and I can’t type.
Nice ass
Quite an anachronism to digitally record video of a donkey cart.
Culture Clash WIN … i think
eDonkey up and down!
231st!
Damn, I’m always late for the good ones.
*is sad*
*gives Blue2th a cookie*
*gives 2th a cup of cicili’s soup extract*
Now why would you do a thing like that?
Poor donkey!!
So many animal fails lately.
Poor donkey!!
Poor sheep
Close, but it’s actually spelled D-O-N-K-E-Y. I make that mistake a lot though.
Never send an ass to do a horses job.
Is it fail if the Donkey likes it?
No
Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that the donkey likes it. Jerk!
Don’t feed the trolls….silly Pob
im the first here saying first so i can claim this FIRST for me!
*sighs*
Yeah… no. Try again. Or better yet, don’t.
Congratulations, you win a lifetime’s supply of Cicili’s Soup Extract(tm)!
I don’t get it.
That’s because we’re fresh out of “it”, please come back next week.
Aww omg that poor donkey!
(And yes, i realise this comment is a bit out of keeping with failblog’s collective mentality but watevs, this animal has earned my pity. Fine, yes, i laughed a bit too…one must wonder who is the real J.A**)
This is how i feel.
hoisted out of life?
I hope that sheep is alright.
O.o So you’re the author of “My Horse”.
Did you notice how many sacks they had to take off before the donkey touched ground again ? That means they had been piling quite a while before they even realized it had gone up.
Oops, apparently someone already pointed that out.
Move your ass…
I like how the donkey has clearly done this before.
I love how the donkey just hang there until he is hoisted down. The donkey evidently has had this happen before. “Oh, not again. When will he learn. My owner is a moron”, thinks the donkey, “and this job sucks, and he gets angry when I stick dilbert strips up by my manger”.
Watching the movie I was actually waiting for them to remove the last bag, crashing the poor donkey hard on the road :’-)
poor donkey
Brings new meaning to the phrase ‘Hung like a Donkey’
I think someone needs to invent some sort of crank that you could use to move the axle forward/ move the bed backwards. You could balance the load without having to unload. Or maybe they should spring for a second axle.
This happened in Egypt
LOL that donkey sure carries a big load.
How would you know? Do you date the donkey?
That is one calm burro….
LOL @ the primitives!
That donkey is so cute!!
has anyone noticed that it sounds like the song is saying “obama” in this video over and over again and the animal is a donkey……….. (democrats) just thought I should point that out.
Subliminal Advertising???
*runs away and hides*
Only in Arabia…
Actually the song is called “Al Hob Sukkara” (the sweet love) and it’s by the legendary Umm Kulthum.
LOL…more like ‘weight and balance fail’
I guess this is a variation of pin the tail on the donkey.
Is it my imagination, or does the woman singing the song keep repeating the word “Obama”.
I voted for the guy, so this is not some kind of dis, just an observation…
It’s a subliminal message!
and the democratic symbol is a donkey. you may have uncovered the biggest conspiracy ever conspired, jimguy.
That poor donkey, if they think they can make a tiny thing like him pull that much weight, I’ll bet anything his daily life qualifies as animal abuse
leave it to terrorists to be so stupid hahaha
Man is thinking, “My ass has failed me once again…”
If i were that donkey i wouldve run away after that
That donkey was incredibly patient.
There’s always one jackass the the bunch isn’t there??
The donkeys just like “wtf, man… wtf…”
Lol Music fail
Friggin morons! They mistreat those animals. Idiots.
I was expecting a big smooshed pile of donkey at the end…
has anyone realized that logistics has nothing to do with the use of everyday logic?
Wheeeeee!