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first!!!!
Nice!
No, no it is not. It is not nice by anyone’s standards. It is, my friend, pure and undilated fail.
*undiluted (I am sure DrDr is not un-dilated)
Tee-hee, I’m glad to know it isn’t just me that fails.
Fail is a condishun that lives in us all.
Condi Rice?
good idea, do they have rice in the middle east? well send them some rice anyway
Pakistan is one of the world’s primary rice exporters
Pakistan is in South Asia, though
Yes, but it’s considered to be the eastern edge of the middle east :p
I see your point
Don’t argue with a geographer!
Indeed.
I’ll argue with you Loz…just not about geography. :p
Okay, bring it on!
Ooh, I love a good argument!
What shall today’s topic be?
Hmm. Troll rights?
They exist?
Well, the trolls seem to think they do!
That’s not much of an arguement… We all agree that trolls exist, as proved by the recent tour through the Failblog Museum. Next arguement topic?
Okay…how about this?
Should we or should we not dunk Lunchbox’s head in the pudding bukkit for spelling “argument” wrong?
*grin*
Twice, for missing the point? Hee!
Never mind, I’ll do it myself.
*shoves head in pudding bukkit, apologetically*
Hee! I love a self-starter.
Unfortunately, self-starters tend to cry “first” and leave everyone else involved disappointed. If you get my drift.
Noooo, no no. That’s “premature posting”. Self-starters are just fine, as long as they don’t end without you!
*weeps*
I married the wrong person, then.
Your all queers
This is mexico…
Did you hear about the undilated teacher?
She couldn’t control her pupils!
Did you hear the one about the idiot that tried to make a joke and failed? =D
He was gruesomely murdered. -_-
I like you better than those depressing goth kids, at least you can joke about your imminent demise.
Plus he has irony! Just look at his name.
I thought he meant it as funny strange, not funny ha ha.
O rly?
Judy was elated, when she finished her dilate, it wasn’t just fate that created this spate – of the unimaginable human suffering that is ‘childbirth’.
Almost a limerick.
If by “almost a limerick” you mean total failure, sure.
This is what he meant:
Judy was elated, when she finished her dilate, it wasn’t just fate that created this spate – of the unimaginable human suffering that is ‘limerick’.
Almost a childbirth.
You’re welcome.
I liked the joke.
ffs – I thought we were rid of this first epidemic *throws laptop in bin*
Baby’s getting a new laptop!
morons at work, as usual hehehe
This is why you must have your camera phone with you AT ALL TIMES.
I had to do that….regardles of the fact that I’m not FAIL, and I know that is a FAIL thing to do….I apologize.
No, no, you are fail.
Knowing something is a fail and doing it anyway, then apologising, is like starting a sentence with “No offence, but…” and then being outrageously offensive.
No offence, but that truck has made a giant boner.
What a bizarre fetish you have.
Yeah, I really dig trucks.
That’s funny, I plough ploughs.
Are you into narrow harrows?
No, but I do furrow thoroughly.
I bet you’d be thrilling tilling.
I am! And when I sow, you’ll say ‘wow’.
I’m feeling germination admiration.
Be careful, Sammy, Loz is rather entrenched in her ways.
FIRST!!!
And YOU…well, there’s just no helping you.
So there isn’t going to be an intervention? Damn.
There will be an exorcism though.
Yep, Loz and Dragonwriter just went for their bibles… and some duct tape
*Raises ‘Grammar Nazi’ ID timidly.*
*Raises ‘Troll Patrol’ ID less timidly and takes out Colt*
raises white flag and surrenders to all parties
*Places dolt with other POWs and bombs DrDr to submission*
It is the correct thing to do with Nazis.
Yes. DrDr will be given a taste of his own medecine.
*cackle*
medecine? …was that supposed to be a joke?
Finally! My irony is understood.
*hugs*
Nice try
*hugs*
I do my best!
uh … i don’t have to do anything do i?
No. Relax while we interrogate DrDr of his/her use of grammar bombs.
Ooh! Failemberg trials.
…And here we have the trial of Failblog’s most infamous grammar nazi, DrDr, who is accused of torturing Failbloggers.
Good heavens. Loz and I utterly scorched him yesterday…he’s back for more??
Methinks the doc has a masochistic bent.
*closes tag*
Stoopit creaky fingers. Well, at least I now have my RDA of fail.
I haven’t failed at all today! *touches wood*
LOZ! This is a FAMILY blog!
…Oh wait. We’ve sorta changed that haven’t we?
Carry on!
Teehee! Wanna touch, too? I’ll share!
Thanks, but…I wouldn’t want the Admiral to get jealous.
Mmm, Loz touching wood…
*touches wood*
Omg no way you stole me name! i hate you for now on
not first!!!!
PHOTOSHOPPED!!!1!
No, its just practicing his wheelies…
no, it is not photoshop… it was taken in Ensenada, B.C., and it did happen…
that happened in my city lmao!!!
its a little town in mexicoo :B
and it is not photoshoped xD!
altough it was pathetic
Lucky it didn’t the building.
It accidenty the building.
But… but.. how the hell did it???
oh, and by the way, it looks like it accidentally the white thing on the right.
Clearly an unbalanced wench is at fault.
Or an unbalanced breakfast.
Did you call me????
Sentence structure fail.
Normally one would go saying “use an action verb”, but there was no the usual question “what should I do?”.
e-funny fail
Come on! It was like 1am in the morning!
It must have been a new moon then.
He was just trying to fit into a small parking space as best he could.
Was he trying to go through the Burger King drive-thru and pulled up a little too far from the little window?
His accident was a whopper.
Isn’t he so sexist? “He was just trying to fit into a small parking space as best he could.” It could have been a woman!
I don’t know how sexist he is, but I know he can’t drive a crane.
with driving like that, it probably WAS a woman. How is THAT for sexist?
If I say I do not know Stryder’s gender, will that help you understand what I meant?
A real doctor would know.
Looks like he’s just talking to himself, anyway.
Stryder, your first name wouldn’t happen to be Pat, would It?
Or Jerome?
It was probably Sarah Palin
Major Tom: Crane is ready to launch
Ground Control: Commencing countdown, engines on
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare… (I wouldn’t dare)
*Major Tom crashes into the ground*
… and the crane came tumbling after?
Blue V2 Rocket?
Seems like a gravitation fail to me
more like gravitation win.
I told them not to inflate the front tires with helium, but did they listen? NO!! Serves em right…
semi-hovertruck?
i told them not to put lead at the top as well
The crane was trying to lift your mom…..
Oooooh, a ‘mom’ joke! The regular’s will love that!
The regular’s what?
Ouch! A right hook to the apostrophe.
Ding Ding!
BondFan: 1, DrDr: 0
*revokes the doc’s Grammar Nazi license*
It was a reference to the superfluous mistake I made on ‘Hair’ FAIL.
Maybe next time I should Harvard reference my posts.
Sorry. Mere repetition of a prosaic mistake is not a valid reference. Once you learn the difference you can have this back.
*pockets the license*
how does this even happen? i really want to see the video on how the crane just fell over, or up or whatever
Re: My Photoshop comment.
Cranes cannot fall up. Physics Comprehension FAIL.
well, if you looked at the picture, then you would see that the crane “fell up”.
No, the crane fell down, tipping the vehicle up. You might have been able to tell objects apart and up from down if you weren’t a proud graduate of Sweet Cheeks Educational Developmental Home Daycare.
I think I taught there once…is it in St. Louis?
No. The crane fell over.
The crane fail over.
The crane accidentally up.
im pretty sure that it fell up.
You want to be felt up?
yeah, dumb ass, i want to be felt up, like i felt up your mom last night.
Did you start at the knees or had they already fell up?
dick
Now now…don’t be so hard on yourself.
(Hee hee! I said…oh, never mind.)
Sammy, you can come play with us any time!
*jumps in sandbox*
Thank you!
*starts building a sand castle*
Look! I found a chocolate pie in this sandb–
Ah, crap.
*washes hands*
Damn cats!
I can haz wet-nap plz? Kthxbai!
Shhhh! lolcats typing is generally attacked here. This is more of a pun kind of place.
*gives wet-nap*
So I’ve gathered. Was trying to make a funny : p
*sigh* Mea culpa.
It’s waaaaay late here and I’m tired!
Ooh I see (damn cats) I’m running a little slow. It’s almost time for me to get up for work here and I’ve yet to catch any sleep.
Bleh. I work overnights and then turn around to take care of my 2 month old during the day. Sleep? What is this sleep you speak of?
I remember those days. Mine are 18 and 22 now.
Well it’s time for me to go. TTFN!
No thanks, we’re all stocked up here.
falling over would be rolling over, but this is leaning back, which is the same as “falling up”.
Rolling
Rolling
Rolling (4x)
Rawhide
Rolling
Rolling
Rolling
Though the streets are swollen
Keep them doggies rolling
Rawhide
there’s 3 wheels on my wagon but i’m still rolling along…
jion in you all know all of the words, you’re just to embaressed to admitt it, you know you are
Move ‘em on, fail ‘em up
fail’em up, move ‘em on
Move ‘em on, fail ‘em up
Rawhide
Count ‘em out, flame ‘em in,
flame ‘em in, count ‘em out,
Count ‘em out, flame ‘em in
Rawhide!
Yeah!, yeah!
*leads cattle*
Flame??
*perk!*
Did someone say flame??
*looks around eagerly*
*Gives lunchbox and Dragonwriter stern looks and brings out the bucket of water*
What? I wasn’t doing anything!!!
*hides torch behind back*
*looks around innocently*
*swallows *FOOM!* and begins smoking at the ears*
My, my, Dragon, you’re looking a little hot around the collar today…. Feeling alright?
Mmmph-mgbrkmmph!
*dares not open mouth*
It’s no use hiding it we know where there’s flame there’s Dragon!
No worries, dear Dragon, we know you’re hot, for many reasons! Intellect, FOOMage, figure, wit… and the list goes on!
Aww…shucks.
*shuffles foot*
I agree. It didn’t “fall over”. Of course you can’t “fall up” but in this case I think it did.
thank you.
What about falling backwards? That seems accurate.
The back fell backwards, and it cased the front to fall upwards.
So, gravity win?
Gravity Fail.
exactly.
You can fall up stairs.
*knows from experience*
only you, only you.
Nope. I’ve done it too.
Hurts, but it’s kind of neat when you realize you’re a little farther up the stairs than when you started to fall.
I’ve done this, too. I distinctly remember a moment of profound “WTF??”-ness about it.
It totally is like that, haha. Did yours involve alcohol, too?
I’m pretty sure it involved a spilled martini and a can of whipped cream…
I have fell up the stairs as well, then I slid down to the bottom.
Dragon, burn that licence!
Umm…yeah.
*FOOOOOMPH!!*
*watches as the ashes drift off on the breeze*
…Did you like the little extra flair I added there??
It was… beautiful
*wipes tear away*
*Catches tear to help douse the burning embers*.
*looks at empty hands*
What embers?
I might put that one on the tour!
Many a tear has to fall but it’s all in the game.
♬ All in the wonderful game we know as LOOOOooOOooOOOve! ♬
Fallen!
Of course you can fall up. Have you never fallen up the stairs?
Go outside right now and try to fall up. In fact, I encourage you to try and get ANYTHING to fall up. Isn’t that pretty much an oxymoron? Falling up?
So is ‘a little bigger’
way to contribute to the conversation.
What conversation?
there wouldve been one if you didnt ruin it.
Have you run out of apostrophes?
I’m sorry, Mr. Grammer. Please don’t whip me!
*clears throat*
*timidly points…*
Timid, hell.
*thwacks somerandomguy with the halibut*
Stop being a jerk to other people when you are so full of fail yourself!
Of all the words I could think of to describe you, m’lady, timid would probably not be the first to come to mind.
What has Kelsey got to do with this?
What’s his show, but a second-hand sitcom?
Have you run out of jokes?
I have, actually. Thanks for asking.
It’s okay…you started my favorite thread yesterday, so you can rest on your laurels a little. The guided tour thingie was a bit of pure genius.
But he can’t rest on Laura’s laurels!
*pushes BFF off*
Selfish bint.
Hey, these aren’t just any old laurels you know! They’re international award-winning laurels! They’re worth millions!
Yeah, yeah…blah blah blah….
:p
*admires m’lady’s laurels*
*admires m’lady*
Laura????
(That’s me
)
Me too. Same name, same phobia. Coinky-dink.
Hmmm…has anybody ever seen Loz and Mookie together in the same room at the time?
Loz, may I tell them? We only do the Laura on Laura for birthdays…
That’s okay, I already got the bestest birthday gift ever this year. A few days late, but totally worth it.
Hmmm…. a riddle…. did you get this birthday gift while wearing your birthday suit????? *waggles eyebrows*
you’re taking a figure of speech a little too far… all im saying is i dont know how the crane can do that.
Mobile cranes are likely to tip while they are being operated—particularly if they are carrying a load that is too big. Crane operators use a load chart specifying the maximum weight that a given crane can hold, given the length of the boom and the angle at which it is extended; accidents often occur when an operator either doesn’t follow the load chart or is given an erroneous reading of the load’s weight. In some cases, a crane can’t handle a heavy load because its outriggers—external supports that anchor it to the ground—are faulty or aren’t secured to firm terrain. Wind can also complicate matters.
Thank you Dr. Science.
Er… Answerman
Faster than a speeding fact, able to leap tall examples, it’s…ANSWERMAN!
(sorry, I just had to do it)
He’s also able to wow people with his useless facts at parties!
“Useless facts” and “wow people” are not two phrases that go well together at parties. Generally, that behavior leaves you alone in the corner, watching, while all the cool people are having fun.
*falls back into corner and sighs*
*hands Answerman a drink*
I spend some time here, too.
*Enters room with a bottle of Absolut in one hand and Trivial Persuit in the other*
Where are the cool people?
*waves to Marius*
There they are. *Saunters over to Dragon* Did you know, when compared to indoor plumbing all other inventions pail.
Hee! I did! And it’s a well known fact that a slug has four noses!
*leans down and drags Avis up into the conversation*
Yay!!! Ummm…. I had no idea slugs had four noses. I did know that The only city that has more fountains than Rome is Kansas City. Font of Useless knowledge, I am.
Sorry I disappeared. My daughter came home with Gears2 and we had to play. We’re on a break now so . . .
Hello folks!
I wonder what evolutionary process developed four noses on a slug?
Does Kansas City have any “no lifeguard” signs posted by their fountains?
Did you know George Orwell worked as a cop before he became a writer?
None of the fountains I saw had lifeguard signs, but dear god!
There were a LOT of fountains.
If Orwell was a cop before he became a writer, suddenly 1984 makes
a helluva lot more sense.
I agree. It must have givin him hands on experiance with many control issues.
*given* Ugh!
Marius, I didn’t know that about George Orwell, but did you know that Mark Twain was the first known author to submit a typed manuscript rather than a handwritten one?
Oo. And more drinkies, please.
May I join in the party? Did you know that ants can live up to 4 days without a head? I would like a martoonie.
*hands kk a martoonie*
Strangely, I did know that. But did YOU know that people with lachanophobia have a fear of vegetables?
As a matter of fact, I have a mild case of that.
Except for potatoes. I LOVE potatoes.
And did YOU know that more than 90 nuclear bombs have been lost at sea?
I need to join this party. First, I’ve had way too many drinks tonight, and have already fallen down twice (!). Second, I am so phobia-ridden. But I am stalwart in the face of vegetables.
*needs a drink*
Sadly I am at work. They might notice if I indulge in libations.
Did you fall up the stairs?
*hands Mookie another drink*
AND…did you know that a cricket’s ears are located on its knees?
I once drunk-fell in a convenient store and knocked over a hat rack. I blame my shoes. I got a ride home from a very nice officer.
Also, fleas have caused more human deaths than all the wars put together. Since apparently we’re on insect trivia. : )
*pours another round*
No Dragon, I was unaware of that. I do find it interesting that he adopted a new technology in what must have been the middle of his career. I still write all of my formal emails on legal pad first.
I do know that the qwerty keyboard was invented for the sole purpose of arranging the type bars in a way that would reduce the chance of any two hitting the paper at the same time and jam the typewriter.
Whoa! Did not hit the refresh button before I commented. Hello everyone.
*snork*
The refresh button is your friend!
*takes a drink*
BTW…did you know that the little dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle?
…and the sideways stroke on a “t” is a jot, if I remember correctly…
Tittle? *snicker* My sister falls up the stairs all the time. In fact I do not think she ever fell down the stairs.
Here’s a movie fact for ya. Maria von Trapp appears in The Sound of Music as one of the extras.
Wow. That was one late post from my neck of the woods. What time zone are you in, sir?
Is the sideways stroke on an “f” a jot as well? Also, would the dot over the letter “j” be a tittle? (I jot to know this tittle-ating information!)
Why, iota….
*perks*
Vodka? AND Trivial Pursuit?? Uhhh… can anyone join this party?
Thats kinda the joke…
Situation Explanation Win.
yes.
yes?
no!
perchance
Mayhap.
operably.
Forsooth!
Verily.
to dream?
no?
lol that’s somewhere in Mexico people failing all across the world
In fact I think it’s in Mexicali, Baja California, México, holy sh*t…
Holy Sh*t??? Is that near Tecate, or further up towards Tijuana? Or maybe it’s way down, by Puerto Escondido???
I think that might even be in Ensenada. There’s a Comercial Mexicana with a Burger King next to it
WHOOOOSH…..
ROFL!
I think that might be in Ensenada. There’s a Comercial Mexicana with a Burger King next to it.
doble desplazamiento no.
Mexicali is 75 miles east of Tecate, on the border, across from Calexico.
its happen in mexicali,baja california, mexico
i living near of that place (:
It’s not Mexicali. I live there; I’m pretty sure that’s not one of our Comercial Mexicanas.
maybe it’s a transformer… a robot in disguise if you will.
He really work on his hiding skills. I mean, a truck/crane isn’t unusual, but they NEVER park like this.
D’oh! Left out “should”. Poor “should”.
*gives abandoned “should” a home*
It’s amazing in a way
When fail’s the order of the day.
In what part of the world do these things occur? I live in South Carolina, and I never see anything this strange happening.
Welcome to Mars!
Anywhere that idiots live.
I guess I live in a pretty idiot free area.
Lucky.
But I thought you said you lived in South Carolina.
Would you like some idiots? I can send some from my neck of the woods. We have more than enough here.
this picture is taken in mexico
Orange ad at the right says ‘Seguridad’ which means.. you guessed it…. security
Do a barrel roll. No, you’re doing it wrong. That’s a failrel roll. I said barrel roll. Barrel.
Fail, try again.
Only in Mexico
What city is that?
No idea, but that’s definitely Mexico. “Comercial Mexicana” is a local supermarket chain.
I wonder what kind of maneuver made them do this!
Ensenada, B.C.
Ensenada, Baja, Mexico
Honestly, I meant to park it like that.
You mean to tell me that not everyone parks their vehicles like that? Okay, this is news to me.
That is totally at a mall in Cabo pretty close to the airport.
watch my comment at d second page
Hey, I know where this is! I used to eat at that burger king all the time!
Good for you. Here’s a cookie. Try not to eat it all at once.
SotB! Long time no see!
Oops, I’ve accidenty a friend…. What should I do?
*gives Lunchbox a cookie*
LOL. *pats LB*
zomg so did i… XD ensenada fails constantly, no surprise there.
that happened in ensenada
I knew it. I’ve been there before. It looked all so familiar (minus the crane though) that would have been fun to see.
its happen in mexicali
viva mejico!! Ensenada, Baja Califail
terminator 3?
I told the crane to play dead… It failed
That may have been the worst joke I’ve heard in quite awhile.
I LOLd.
Lmao! epic fail!
Autobots, Transform, ROLL OUT!!!
Segun yo, eso está de camino a plaza las américas, depués del UNITEC por la Av. México.
Algun mexiquense que me apoye?
ash… está enfrente del costco y ya.
esta enfrentr de la cocacola
so uh yea thats terminator 3…not such a failure….still dont have a quarterback…..
Here’s your sign.
M
Thats what he gets for ordering two cheeseburgers a large fry and a Barqs rootbeer.
in fact this fail waqs commited in MEXICO, if u watch the supermaket closely it says “comercial mexicana” which means: mexican shop, mexican supermarket or something like thet.
believe me, i live in mex. and I know where that supermarket is.
Congratulations – this is the first post I came across on the site that qualifies for FAIL status. Crane Fail FTW!
Its Optimus Prime!!!!!!!!
Didn’t someone die for this?
Looks like Optimus Prime with an erection.
jajaja yo viva stras de la comercial mexicana, esto paso en ensenada baja california, ajajajaa!!!!!!!
Only in Mexico baby.
Man, I’m proud of being Mexican!
TRANSFORMERS, ROLL OUT!
LOL the fat ass operating it probably so the burger king jumped out of the cab and the crane lost its balance
mexico
its a transformer lol
Ensenada FTW!!!
the problem is the guy operating the crane just ate a couple of whoppers at the BK. he should’ve had a doucheburger.
isn’t that the crane truck thing from terminator 3? wtf?
“what the hell am i looking at? when does this happen in the movie?” exclaims lord helmet.
driver alive: D?
i knew i shouldnt have got in their drunk
burgerKing have it your way (…get some sauce!)