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How does one crime a wall? Is that climb spelled by someone with a speech impediment?
a lisp/
A lithp?
maybe they’re Chinese *instantly regrets racist remark*
Just don’t imply the *J* word! Hell hath no fury like a BondFan4something scorned.
I’m getting out of here! *runs*
Save yourselves!
Criminy!
Jinkies!
(Oh crap…was that the “J” word you were talking about Ryannon??)
Juses!
Juices
Godberry…king of the juice
JeffMills ( yeah I made it one word )
moses?
how come its a crime if it was grafiti on a wall that was ment for frafiti ?
Wow, inconsistent with your words there bud.
Thank you, captain obvious. We would never have gotten the joke without you.
JAPANESE!
ROR!
Yes, I’d imagine they would be released on their own recognizance. Or Run Over by Rhinos. Either way.
In the UK when you assign a criminal incident with a crime number the police refer to it as “criming” it. I think thats what they’re referring to
*insert comment about how in Soviet Russia, wall crimes you here*
In Communist China, you crime wall.
and get shot before you can escape?
In Communist China, you pray ball.
EPIC WIN!
If you crime in Singapore you get the cane
The candy cane?
Singapore is way too oppressive. I know someone who used to live there.
Admiral Apparent: “In Communist China, you crime wall.”
.
Damn that’s funny.
The Chinese also pray ball.
*bows*
In Communist East Berlin, you crime wall
.
would be more accurate.
…and just as funny.
In Communist East Berlin, you crime wall
.
would be more accurate.
…and just as funny.
Please redeem this voucher for 1 x Internet.
In Soviet Russia, wall crime you
And you get an ASBO if caught, right? I learned that from Mike Skinner…
Yes, ASBOs, the most pointless things our government has given us.
They’re more of a status symbol amongst the kids than a punishment.
ASBO?
Associated Student Body Officer?
Atrociously Smelly Body Odor?
Another Stupid Belicose Oliphant?
Perhaps they meant prime it, as in re-paint it with primer…
Maybe they meant as in Prime minister
They’re going to smear the prime minister over the wall to get rid of the graffiti.
Prime Rib?
No, Prime Rub.
OR perhaps they meant FAIL
Interesting idea but wouldn’t you do the investigation before the painting? Although why an investigation is needed who knows.
1. A wall.
2. Someone wrote on it.
3. Apply paint.
4. Sorted.
5. Expert consultation fee £75,926.46p
I’m quite surprised that the person who did the vandalism didn’t draw something obscene to accompany the sentence
If he’d done that, it would qualify as graffiti and would be left in place.
Perhaps it would have been funnier if the author painted “Be Polite”.
*has an idea about a suggestion…*
*is pleased*
*becomes a woman of action rather than just words*
*is moved*
*is delighted*
I believe that you can trespass a wall. That’s a crime with a stiff penalty, or so I’m told.
Yes, you will wind up being prostituted.
You’re right. They really go down on you when you trespass, because then, they have to prostitute you.
Actually, I think it’s UK slang for “prosecute.”
they mean PRIME, not climb. Just a typo.
i feel i’ve been nickel-and-crimed!
if you piss on a wall it’s a crime dude
hahahahahahahaha that’s the funniest thing i’ve read in a long time! Thanks for making me laugh!
with a lope and glapling hook?
Epic Epic Fail will be the trial if they catch the guy.
So the question here is: How many levels of fail are in this fail?
Epic levels?
Too Many
Over 9000
/meme
I think thats the only way to describe it.
*scratches a record* lets break it down, here’s my suggestion: 5 levels.
1) Graffiti irony win – a wall built for graffiti was graffiti-ed, leading to a crime investigation.
2) A wall to practice graffiti. Practice. Isn’t graffiti is a crime in the UK?
3) Using tax payer’s money to investigate a crime on a product of poor use of tax payers money for the practice of crime…yeah?
4) spelling fail of climb
5) painting over graffiti that is in fact the intended use of the wall in the first place.
solution: sue the local authority and buy some spray cans for the homies.
Hahah spelling fail of climb…
*stabs himself in the ego*
How’d you do that backwards d, anyway?
I thought it was an upside-down p…
I tried doing that once. It got all over the place and tasted awful.
Just hang upside down by the knees. Uh… or so I would surmise.
Let’s start the rhyming game!
Or so I could surprise…
Really not. They have to establish that a crime was committed on the wall, so they can, as they have said, investigate it,and paint over it. It’s a crime scene, not a climb scene.
And this just in, there is no Santa. The Easter Bunny doesn’t exist and the Boogie Man is really your creepy Uncle Larry.
The 2th fairy exists though, right?
*hangs head* We need to talk.
*looks anxious*
Psst, you can borrow some of my anti-anxiety pills! You may want em for this!
May I have one of them?
I need to pay some taxes for some wall climbing crime investigation, and this is making me anxious.
Oh sure! I have enough.. I think… oh dear…
I just my xanax, what do i do?
Charcoal
Relax, nothing to about.
You accidently your action verb!
)
(Always wanted to do one of these.
Lamp
Use an action verb, loliepop.
Someone rang?
BTW TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(for our friends in Australia…TGIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(*flies the flag for BFF*)
BFF, I am advised, has left that time zone.
hmmmmm, where is the “comment recall” button at.
Yes, he has, but he would still be offended, no doubt!
Seeing how it is now almost 1am Sat (BFF time)
TGIS BFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s B.F.F. Skinner got to do with any of this?
I knew it! I knew Unkle Larry was bad, even when he gave me my 1st beer and then did that secret thing i should never ever ever tell anyone about! Ever!
I knew it!
Did you know it when he gave you leather chaps for your birthday and kept making remarks about “riding the horse!” ?
Did you know it when he gave you those funny brownies and then told you to write stuff on that wall?
He is quite right. Never, ever, tell anyone you are a pissed up philatelist.
Lest you be stamped a weirdo
Or branded a kook.
Or ingraved as a crazy.
That’s a problem that can be licked.
*opens mouth to make unbelievably ribald comment*
*thinks better of it*
*puts tongue in cheek instead*
*hopes for a stamp of approval*
I resisted the same degenerate impulse, Draco!
Why I could lick the two of you together.
*Is about to find out how far an envelope can be pushed.*
Ok, now I’m officially blushing. (Not. Takes a lot more than that to put the ol’ Mook off her feed!)
First…Mookie, don’t call me Draco. Theng-kew.
Second. Admiral…I…I thought you carriered for me!! The delivery of your address…!
Sheesh. The mail of the species, eh?
(Hint…I’se being silly.)
Sorry about the “Draco.” It was meant affectionately.
Love you like cake.
Back atcha, babe!
*wonders what it takes to get the ol’ Mook off her feet*
.
Dragon, you know you are my postmaster.
(Intimation… You’re first class.)
Postmistress, you mean!
You don’t have to own the equipment in order to master it.
I don’t know how you do it. Seriously. How is it that every single one of your posts makes me smile?
Methinks there’s some magic in you, my admirable Admiral.
I’m not sure which way you come down on this. Whichever way that might be, I’m guessing I’d approve.
*seals with a smooch*
Suddenly, I have this desire to become a problem to you…
This could get sticky…
*adheres to the Admiral*
How can you consider it a crime to graffiti a wall meant for graffiti…
Epic Police Fail, Epic tax money usage fail, and seeing as the wall is 6ft tall,
it’s a climb scene for people who fail at growing
Graffiti isn’t a crime; criminal damage is. If someone has given you permission to spray paint all over a wall it’s not criminal damage.
Surely, if you have permission, it’s just decorating?
I just love the Louis Quatorze grafitti. I did my whole library in it.
Going for baroque?
I can not handel this.
I prefer a Modest approach to decorating, so as to give the
appearance of viewing pictures at an exhibition.
Miss Orgsky?
*feels bare on the mountain*
Oh, to be the wind that caresses your skin!
Now it is YOU who are making quite the Impression!
Baroque Obama!
Thank you for that breakdown of fail levels. My head was about to esplode before you put things in order.
Ummmm, I think that this is graffiti just as valid as any other. Some of my favourite graffiti from over the years had no pictures:
“Nietze is peachy!” (Saskatoon, Canada, 1980) and “Dance to the tension of a world on the edge” (Winnipeg, Canada circa 1984) and “But I don’t LIKE chicken” (Winnipeg, Canada, also 1984). Sadly, the last two are gone now for sure, but I like to think of them lurking somewhere.
graffiti is only a crime when its vandalizing property. The wall was built as a “permission” wall, something not uncommon in big cities now, for youth to express their art w/o doing something illegal. On permission walls, people paint over other peoples’ tags all the time, so all they need to do is get a bunch of the kids this wall was intended for to come and paint over the vandal’s work. its called common sense, i think.
1) A wall built for graffiti is itself graffiti’d leading to investigation.
2) The perpetrator evidently believes tax payer money was spent to build the wall, which he regards as a waste and protests by ruining the wall with graffiti.
3) The wall was actually built by volunteers at no expense to taxpayers, making his allegation redundant and his actions ironic in that now tax money is going to have to be spent clearing up his mess.
…plus 1 for building a wall to allow for an activity that derives its power from being underground… be sure to keep your clothes clean, kids!
They should just build another wall right in front of that one so they don’t have to crime it.
I’d use some disabled access stones.
and that is another fail, i did not see any handicap access ramps (stones) present which means it is inaccessable for the disabled, yet still criminally lively, grafitti artist. that is a total social responsibility fail.
If you look closely, there is a dirt access ramp over to the left.
lets go crime it!
A better statement would be if no one touched the wall at all and it stayed blank.
agreed, much more anigmatic, much less funny.
*enig… ah forget it.
Or went around the back…
you can say that again
Hahahaha
Or went around the back…
Or went round the back…
Oh wait…
So wait… They’ve build a wall so that everyone could vandalise it by painting stupid grafities (yeah I probably misspelled it) and now it’s vandalised because someone used that wall to write something?
That’s stupid.
At least he’s going to pay for it
in part.
yeah with his TAX monies.
THRILLA THRILLA
write that on the wall
Hahahaha.
*snork!*
titanium snork?
Snorkmaiden!
I love The Moomins.
Hahah! Oh the mammaries…
Moomins!!!
I ♥ Moomins, too…though I rarely ever meet anyone familiar with them!
Mummenschanz.
oh great, here come the snorks. Lets swim along with the snorks
You called?
…1 for building a wall to allow for an activity that derives its power from being underground…
The lawless are cool; the law-abiding? Screw them to the graffiti wall.
Civilization is officially dead.
And women killed it.
Oh, wait
that was chivalry
no, it was my heart…. **listens to The Cure, cuts wrists, wears black, steals sister’s pants**
Lemme get outta those first!
We killed chivalry? Can we revive it? Is there a chance?
Graffiti =/= Vandalism
So give us the address of your mother’s house so we can all go graffiti it. We’ll wave to you down in the basement.
That’s very kind of you, But without consent however, It would be vandalism.
I thought I made another post explaining the difference, but it seems to have evaporated…
Soooo…. if you dont have permission, graffiti=vandalism. I dont think people are concerned with graffiti done with consent.
your kidding right? i hope this was fake because thats extremely sad.. i didnt even laugh its just so sad its not even funny
not even a little smile? *tickles noobaxce* c’mon not a peep? who’s a little angry man then? abooboobooboo! peekaboo! *blows rasberry on noobaxce tummy*
Hahahaha!
Hee! Hee!
*giggles*
*wiggles*
*jiggles*
Oh wait… that’s not good.
*Lickles*
I LOL’d. Hard.
Wait- who owns the kidding?
lulz
THAT, was precious!
–>
My aim is off, but my hat is off to “mangeoire plus rigoureux”.
Nice to know the British officials are as irony/satire impared as American officials.
and just as spelling impaIred.
… and their grammar is suspect…
We should throw the book at them!
*throws copy of “how to win friends and influence people”*
Winning friends is easy! You just duel their other friends, and take them!
pikachu, i choose you!!!
meh, well my charmander will take your friend! Pikachu goes down!
and eat their brains gain their knowledge *looks open eyed, side to side*
Knowledge is power.. guard it well
so, one cannibal says to the other “does this clown taste funny to you?”
What a carny joke
Seems a fair assessment
No need to create a circus over it!
Yah they were just clowning around.
It is their fete.
Yeah, they have some gala.
How bazaar.
I’m soiree, I didn’t catch that.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his A$$.
Tha’s so in tents.
Try not to rave about it.
It’s the UK, so I think the word practice is used in the sense of practicing medicine rather than the sense of practicing a speech.
That’s all I got.
In British English ‘practice’ is the noun, not the verb.
If you ever have the misfortune to endure the UK health service you may consider ‘practise’ more appropriate.
Hehe! Too true.
Hey Doc, it hurts when I do this.
Don’t do that.
Doctor: You’re cough sounds much better.
Patient: I’ve been practicing!
*oops* Your…
My what? *Looks around with apprehension*
Don’t be afraid… Step into my boudoir and I’ll show you my etchings… *surreptitiously locks door, pulls shades*
etch me like one of those French girls, Mookie.
She uses an etch a sketch, not sure how close you will get to what you want.
You can check out any time you like but you can never leave?
And we have weekly rapes here at the Hotel Cali.
I like the grandiose description of ‘installing’ a wall. Do you suppose a team of ‘experts’ built it in a workshop somewhere and then transported it to site?
It was probably bought flat-pack from Ikea. They sell everything.
In Soviet Union….most apartments are manufactured at an off site location and later installed in modular units in what is called “block” housing built with plumbing fixtures and other finishings already installed and merely given a cement facade upon their installation. Thank you for your time.
I believe the Japanese use a similar building technique for housing but probably not for walls.
Those were popular in the 50s in the UK.
Don’t be silly. In Soviet Russia, apartments install you!
In Soviet Union apartments manufacture you!
So, they built an expensive wall for graffiti, someone wrote graffiti on it so the council reported it to the police? That’s retarded. I’d like to see how well you would be able to charge someone with marking graffiti on a designated graffiti wall.
“You urinated in a public place”
“yes, but it was a public toilet”
“off to jail”
Good comparison.
/Canada/ has been doing this without problem for a long time. I think this is a British fail.
It’s a British win for not wanting our tax money going towards pointless walls.
I don’t know if you have played GoW2 yet, but walls are never pointless! No matter how randomly placed they may be
When evil bug-like conquerers rise up! You’ll wish you had more “pointless” walls!
Mark my words!
It is the End Time!
To be fair the logic behind legal walls is solid, the actual graffiti artists will generally use it instead of vandalizing private property. Works rather well in the States in the locations that have tried it, like Philly.
We actually do have several of these in the UK, Bristol has quite a few.
I suspect there is something key missing from this story.
I think it was the comments placed on the wall.
“Look, Look, I’m being repressed!”
Bloody peasant
I can see a problem with people tagging over other artists work. Then we just have gang shooting problems, not graffiti. Mortician win!
Its a win for British ignorance as usual, the whole point and irony was that no tax payers money was spent on the wall, it was independently funded. As a result of the retard who wrote on it, it will now cost the taxpayer money as it has been reported to the police. Also this is old news.
Maybe they pretended it was a tiny Berlin…?
Maybe they were pretending it was a tiny Berlin….?
The bigger fail is that the wall was build by local business donating materials, and labour. Not a single penny was used from tax payer’s money.
Except, of course, when it comes to cleaning it.
in other words, they had to pay protection money to keep the worthless little criminals from destroying their property. Why don’t the so called “artists” just paint the fuckin thing, for free…oh wait, that would be like…work O_O
Exactly, now the artist will get a sense of ownership.
Let me ge this straight…
Graffiti wall is graffiti’d and those who built the graffiti wall for graffiti are now upset because someone put graffiti on said graffiti wall.
You really can’t please some people.
speak for yourself.
*is pleased*
*pleases self*
*joins in*
But are you surprised and pleased?
Let me restate this for the benefit of anyone to whom this was not flamingly obvious at first glance, and who failed to get the point when stated by at least 6 commenters above:
1) A wall was built with tax money
2) I twas intended to gave graffiti written on it
The article states that the wall was mainly constructed with contributions of materials and labour from local businesses.
I think the main problem here is that someone graffitied before the wall was officially opened. In essence, this is queue-jumping. The English take queueing (that’s a weird looking word, probably spelt wrong) very seriously indeed.
Queue-jumping is a crime punishable by death in Britain.
I agree. Anyone with a queue long enough to jump should be put to death.
*gets out scissors, snips off queue*
There. No go blow-dry what’s left.
Luckily there’s no death row.
*golf clap*
There’d be a long queue for it if there were.
*jumps the queue*
Double dutch!
I killed a man who queue-jumped me.
Why restate it? Few will read it. Many will repeat it.
I twas going to but gave up.
No sense saying the obvious because commenters obviously want to comment and not read the obvious comments that have obviously been commented previously including comments about duplication of comments which previous commenters have made and not been read.
No comment.
A comment, obviously well commented.
Maybe the problem is that it wasnt open for graffiti yet. There was no ribbon cutting ceremony
They should have written ‘First’ on the wall.
WIN!
That’s a win, sir. No need for further commenting.
Let’s go home.
*packs up belongings, shakes hands*
Hey all you rebellious teenage graffiti artists, before you deface our property with substandard graffiti we would like you to practice here.
hah – nice. Practice makes perfect they say.
Is the wall placed in an obscure part of town/city/megalopolis? Because I think part of the attraction to drawing on public buildings is the placement in trafficked areas.
The person that did this fail only for the simple fact that his tax dollars will be used to repaint the wall… lawlz
Tax pounds.
This really should not even been on Failblog – it is technically grammatically correct for the UK.
The grammar is not the fail.
Because Grammar > Irony?
“Yaaaawn” *grabs coffee cup* “Morning fellow fail lovers… What do we have here?”
Questionable Criminals
Graffiti-free graffiti walls.
They did grafitti on the grafitti wall?? Oh no!! This is worse than the time I accidentally put soup in the soup bowl!
*- 2 f’s + 2 t’s*
now solve for x
What do you get if you integrate a duck?
Duck x!
Oooh!! Calculus!! Now my brain hurts.
remember to use the FOIL method… First Outside Inside, Last
Wow, that brings back memories of fun maths times!
Why don’t they just have another graffiti artist graffiti over this graffiti?
I suggest a starving artist, they will work for less!
but then you end up with another Guernica, and there can be only one….
They could just give a can of white paint to the original ‘artist’.
Only in England *shakes head*
thats a good idea, otherwise it drips when its in your pants.
WHAT
.
WHAT the?
.
i’m not even going to ask.. WHAT the hell!
Judge: And how do you find yourself?
“Innocent. I wrote graffiti on the wall. The wall was specifically meant for graffiti.”
Case closed.
How do I find myself? With Google Earth, Judge.
Oh yeah, and I got one of those handy tattoos that tells me my name in case I get lost and can’t remember it.
Thats just toooo much of a fail to be true.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall…
I did it all for the Mookie
Mookie is good currency around here.
all and all its just another brick in the wall.
humpty dumpty sat on the failwall.
.
After a while *Cringe* he had a fail fall
And that is why good fences make good neighbors Mookie.
The preceding of course.
So says the hired man.
Frosty winters will heave the wall, unless it is mended.
I greatly admire that person’s mastery.
that persons Failery*
This is the best fail picture in the whole blog!
Why is the arrow pointing at ‘graffiti’ ? That’s how you spell it. I even looked it up in a dictionary.
it’s not at the spelling…think long and hard about the sentence “Graffiti wall is vandalised” and see if something pokes out as being awkward
It just happens to be pointing specifically to the word “graffiti.” It’s actually fail-ing the whole headline, “Graffiti Wall is Vandalised.”
Because the vandalism involved was… graffiti.
i think they assume graffiti is automatic failure
you, my good sir or ma’am, are the reason plastic coffee cups are marked with warning contents hot.
brilliant!
Because it’s a fail idea.
A wall for people to practice Graffiti?? WTF?
For a ridiculous sum, no less.
Fail.
Because it is impossible to vandalize a graffiti wall by graffiti-ing it.
How about putting the little scum bags in prison, let them try and crime those walls.
God, if you fail to forgive wall bangers, what will you do to ladies with coathangers?
I’d be very angry if someone put up one of these walls. Wherever they appear, vandalism and break-ins spike immensely all around the ‘free wall’.
All it does is concentrate taggers into one place, and allow them to network. Just what you need in the middle of your town. An attraction for a bunch of thugs talking shop and making plans.
So the ULTIMATE fail is that this wall will bring absolutely certain and predictable ruin to the surrounding community that it’s supposed to ‘help’.
RETARDS!
Maybe they should put it inside the police station…
I only partially agree with you. While many people responsible for graffiti are just vandals, some of them really are artists who appreciate having somewhere legal to create their artwork. You could make it on canvas, yeah, but sometimes you just know that it has to be on a specific material; sometimes, it just has to be on a wall.
my, my, my, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.
I knew a guy named Ray. He got run over by a squirrel.
…can’t they just wait for the youths to… uh… practice their graffiti over the angry taxpayer’s statement? o_O
i got hair on my chest: look at it!
That… sad.
Wait, wait, I think I get it. It was already a graffiti, just a graffiti painting of a blank wall. Sort of an ultra minimalist reversal statement about the paternalistic offering of the wall itself for an activity that is, at its heart, reactionary. Now this vandal bloke’s gone and tagged over it. Bast*rd.
uhm this totally looks like it was made in mspaint. i doubt it’s a real article.
it’s a graffiti wall
it got graffitied
where is the crime?
what’s the point in painting over it – it’s gonna get painted over anyway???
the council and the police are both stupid. waste of money spent on a waste of money…
i believe that it’s the biggest fail of the three
Thank you! Finally – why paint over it? Wait for the other “Graffiti Artists” to just paint over it. Problem solved!
This blog clearly was designed for youth to use to practice art, not to be vandalised by some irate taxpayer. The person who did this should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and publicly shamed for their destructive actions.
I think its point out the fail of the wall getting vandalized, when that’s the whole point of it being there.
Kinda.
Maybe.
Hopefully, for this comments sake.
The fail here is that it’s a GRAFFITI wall. The taxpayer used it for graffiti….so…whats the problem?
This is just more proof of conspiracies! >.>
GAH! Just fail
Well done for reiterating what everyone else has stated above: the obvious.
What a fine contribution…
I live about one hour away from this town. They are going to demolish the wall and I think the sergeant responsible for getting it built is moving away from the area…I can see what he was aiming for however, I imagine that there will be an increase in graffiti tags in the area after this international scandal!
By the way the wall was built entirely from donated materials and services nothing was taken from tax payers money… except of course the following police investigation!!
The wall isn’t being demolished, Sergeant Moorcrap is still here and there is hardly any graffiti in Wadebridge anyway. This being one of the main reasons it was built. It is a ridiculous idea, it’s meant to stop kids doing it elsewhere, when they weren’t doing it in the first place. No tax payers money was spent? Do not believe everything you read in the papers because that is not true. And for the following investigation? How can they possibly charge someone for graffitiing a graffiti wall? Oh and the back of the wall is paint proof so don’t even attempt to spray that shit. And ‘crime it’ wasnt a typo, they really are this dumb.
Oh I would also like to add that the sentiment behind the statement is admirable, check out BANKSY’S social comment graffiti for imaginitive comment.
For what it’s worth I reckon tagging is graffiti’s version of tourette syndrome mixed with an almost superhero syndrome need to walk the streets at night and ‘do good’ by educating the population with wait for it ‘art’. Or is it simply glorified vandalism?
- nothing personal just a thought people.
Aren’t the British always bragging about how smart they are? Then one goes ahead and fails like this…
This is my favorite add yet
gotta love government spending
the graffiti wall was vandalized by a graffiti?!?, just genius
very late in commenting as usual but… whoever used paint to add the text epically failed as noted.
Why? WHY are they investigating it? WHYYYYYY!?!?!?!??!
epic EPIC fail…
*Sigh* Be careful lest the American government sues this site for making the USA look like shit.
how does one vandalize a graffiti wall
It’s quite easy actually. Just paint it over with i.e white paint. But how do you vandalise a blank graffitti wall? Thats a bit tougher one…
…addition to previous. Maybe with some power tools…
Now this is irony. But in my homeland (Soviet Russia), wall vandalises you.