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not sure where I was going…sorry.
relative?
I don’t think so… why are you my mommy?
I’m your daddy.
*clenches*
You missed out ‘first’.
you missed out traumatic.
you missed the Titanic.
you missed your emergency appointment with the psycho-analyst.
You missed the truck to the funny farm. Here, let me just help you into this jacket…
You missed your face.
I SUPPORT THE USE OF “UR FACE” AS A COMEBACK
.
i am confused with the commenting layout. can someone help me?
I was going to say crazy, but crazy’s clearly somewhere you’ve (looney) bin for a while.
did anyone notice that it said martin luther king jr. in the back?
MLK jr. was replaced by steak.
gay.
wouldnt steak being his hero be a WIN? cause i mean you gotta admit steak is god
probably american
I love the way it rots in my colon…
Try using tomato ketchup as a condiment instead of washing soda.
Ew! Steak with ketchup? These Americans…
I’m an American & I think steak & ketchup is yucky!
That makes you one of the good ones!
Because, of course, the way you judge a person is which condiments they like with their food. I mean, come on, that’s the cultured way to do it, right?
And just for the record, I don’t like ketchup with my steak. I prefer cracked pepper and blue cheese.
I hear that is how the Sultan of Brunei judges his mistresses.
With ketchup?
MMmmmmmmm…!
Of course you judge people by what condiments they use! Worcestershire sauce? Ketchup? What suckers! Take this killer Kikko-BEAM!
I don’t judge people based on the condiments they used, i thought i made that clear. I judge them based on their nationality and its idiosyncrasy.
Actually, condiments are only required for a fair to poor steak
Properly seasoned and or marinated it should stand on its own..
If its truly flat in taste then steak sauce maybe required… but ketchup? Only if its steak ground into a hamburger..
i like steak & maple syrup
i am also american and steak and ketchup is a definate fail, now ketchup and cornflakes that is different.
But if you were Reagan, you’d think it was a well balanced dinner of meat and vegetables.
then your not an american
what do you have, a little Colemans or Dijon mustard perhaps, or some Horseradish sauce? do you want your beer warm with that and some European Commission condoned mis-shaped vegetables?
Black Pudding?
go back to Germany, Ja?
Germany, a classic misconception of St. Louis MO. I went to London a couple years ago and ordered that crap…. WOOF
I’d like to assure visitors to St. Louis, MO that Germany DOES infact exist and is not a figment of the imagination, you may have been ill-informed by dried-pigs-blood eating locals.
They were holding pitchforks and torches… *begins to cry* They made me do it mangeoire… *sniff* I didn’t want to
menegais trois? i thought that was the french not the germans?
‘Menegais trois’ is nothing. Ménage à trois is the French.
Or, as it’s known in far less sophisticated circles, Manage a Threesome.
I like my beer cold, thanks very much.
I believe some maldon salt is good enough for a steak and, although not my favourite, i admit that i do enjoy some mustards once in a while.
what about some lovely grey poupon?
Hey, I’m an American and I think steak with ketchup is EWWWW too!! Blech!!
I second that! Egg, you culinary racist!
*ahem* Xenophobe
Excuse my generalization, as it seems it may have hurt some sensibilities…
I wasn’t trying to insult all Americans, just the ones with (IMO) dubious culinary taste.
Every nation has some with dubious culinary taste. Ahh, I miss the days when we could point and laugh at the Brits for their unbelievably bad cooking…vegetables boiled to mush, beef cooked until it’s gray and leathery…
However, last time I was in England the food was fantastic, so I guess I can’t do that anymore.
but we still can pick on the Scotts for haggis, lol.
My friend Scott doesn’t like haggis, LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Yeah, except my friend Scott doesn’t like haggis…so LEAVE HIM ALONE!
So what was your friend Scott’s position on haggis?
Since when has accuracy of criticism been an impediment? Have you ever read an article about americans in the european press?
im pretty sure that every where has its exceptions including the brits. they are stil known for their terrible food. britain does not have much, with the exception of its pomppous attitude and the rest of the world accepts them, kind of like the big idiot no one really likes, but no one really hates him either he just is what he is.
then we’re cool homie.
Ketchup is never OK. I also hate tomato based barbeque sauces and baked beans, cause they both taste too much like ketchup.
Grape jelly makes a much better condiment for steak
STEREOTYPE FAIL
ppl are to freaking sensitive, the ketchup comment was a joke, get over it and chew your gum.
Sweet rib eye…how I love thee
The marbling of your fat
lending to your juicy goodness.
I adore your spicy grill marks
and the deep pink you blush
when I cut into you.
Sweet rib eye…how I love thee.
Is that a song of innocence or of experience?
Each experience with a juicy rib eye is both innocent and experienced. You gaze upon the slab of meat with newborn eyes and stare, weepy-eyed into its tender goodness as only a child can. The first bite–that soul-stirring first bite–is a virgin losing her chastity, blood present, inhibitions absent. It must remain unblemished by other foods on the plate. It gets a plate all to itself. We dance. We dance that glorious dance that only lovers dance. It quivers on my fork and undulates in my salivating mouth. Sweet, sweet rib eye…
Ok, I was thinking more along the lines of William Blake, but this works too!
Tyger tyger burning bright, in the forest of the night.
That’s the guy.
Tyger, tyger burning bright?
You sound like my son. The one who also likes ketchup (catsup?) on hotdogs.
catsup where?
No, kitty! Get down from there!
Even better than ribeye — prime rib! Oh, my mouth is watering just thinking about it!!
BLASPHEMER!
Heathens, all of you. There is no steak other than Filet.
The filet is good, I’ll grant you…but every now and then I feel the need for a really good sirloin. A bit more substantial, more robust flavor, not quite as tender but still cuts like butter…mmmmmm.
I enjoy steak walking around on rolling fields on a crisp fall day.
The best steak, though, is at the restaurant at the end of the universe.
I like ‘em that way, too.
Though…once you’ve been thoroughly drooled on by a cow, you learn to appreciate them from a distance.
You have too much time on your hands =P
i hate anything with ketchup.
What do you eat with ketchup then?
There nothing else eatable with ketchup except fries…
Well, I dip my steak in ranch dressing.
STEAK WITH KETCHUP YEEEAAAAAH \m/
steak with ketchup is awesomefghjkl
;’;
Besides, Americans don’t say “washing soda”.
Steak and ketchup. It’s like flesh and blood. (Ketchup and blood are even the same general color!)
It’s awesome. Too bad you’re not an American: You’re missing out.
I would recommend Windex as condiment. It tastes good and avoids rotting.
Keep your 2th clean too.
Use Windew when you feel the need to go streaking. Windex prevents streaking.
Wait, Windew you use Windex?
i believe you all should at least try once in your lifetime a brazilian steak or BBQ
LOL
^^
This is my soon *proud*
…tz… Meat, my hero….. tz
Your soon? Do you also have a later?
I loled.
mmm…steak hero
juke box hero?
Juice box hero.
lunch box hero.
lunchbox where are you?
Guitar Hero
Juicy Guitar Hero!
Comes with plastic steak controller! Featuring realistic chewing action!
Steak Hero FTW
Tilt your fork up to activate ketchup. Chew flawlessly to earn while you burn
Lol, show that to PETA!!
People for the Eating of Tasty Animals??? I’m a member!!!
So am I, I meant the other PETA…
With hummus?
Peta who, now? Gabriel? Griffin? Pumpkin-Eater?
The apostle?
the effeminate boy who can fly but doesn’t want to grow up?
Superman?
*pan*
no thats Michael, Michael Jackson. Sure he touched some children, but C’MON! IT’S MICHAEL JACKSON!
Michael Jackson can fly?
R Kelly believes he can fly.
Just think of a wonderful thought!
*tinks*
I think it’s prolly Griffin, as when Lois calls him and she specifically says, “PETA!”
Petulant Engineers Taking Acid?
Nice.
Picky Eaters Throwing Asparagus?
Please Execute The Animals?
Penis enlargement then augmentation?
Proper Entry to Anus?
Pink Elephants? Thats Alcohol.
Perpetual Ennui, That’s Arithmetic
Perpetual Erections Traumatize Anuses
Physical Education – T’is Agony.
phallic existentialism tarries apathy
Please Excuse Timmy’s Absence
Privileged Extremists Taste Awesome
Presently Enduring Tedious Afternoon
People, Enough, Toomany Acronyms! Please, End The Abuse!
Playing Evanescence Tortures All
People for the Everlasting Torture of Assholes.
Peruvian Evangelical Turnips Association
People Enduring Testicular Agony?
People Encouraging Testicular Agony (of said Assholes)
Preachers Encouraging Teletubby Assassination.
Penguins Encourage Terrorist Actions
Too bad we can’t fit some misnomer about retarded citizens in here.
HUR HUR HUR HAVEN’T HEARD DAT ONE BEFORE DURRRRRRRRR
The caption was supposed to be: Meat- My Hero! It’s a writing competition sponsored by the Cattle Ranchers Association of South Ossetia.
Meat, it’s not just for dinner.
Meat, you can’t beat it.
I thought that’s what men did with their meat
Ah, but I’m not a man.
*beats meat*
Sure you can.
Steak, the other dead animal.
no doubt an american kid…
judging by the atrocious spelling of favourite I’d have to agree.
The upside is, he has potential. He likes pink in the middle. A shocker in his future perchance?
I think the parents have already come to terms with it – the closet’s been open for a while now.
I get it, I get jokes.
That’s how favorite is supposed to be spelled. Americans invented English, we decide how words are supposed to be spelled. You can use British spelling when you’re writing in British, whatever that is, but English must be written the right way, the American way. God bless the U.S. of A.
America, F.uck Yeah! Coming again to save the motherf.ucking day yeah!
Please not to confuse Americans with the American government.
Have you never watched Team America?!
Ha! Great flick.
But you must know how many American citizens cringe at the actions of their *ahem* elected representatives. (Wait! I didn’t vote for that guy…! Help!)
Oh, I’m very well aware of that
I have to say that Americans did not in fact invent English. This is why people in other countries dislike us, because of ignorant stuff like this.
I think they hate us more because our sense of humour is collectively broken.
win
And because of your lack of humour? :p
Captain America was obviously joking.
Yet there are people who actually do believe stuff like this. The confusion on j-dawg’s part is unfortunate, but it’s even more so that such confusion is possible.
Indeed…the “obvious” part becomes a LOT more problematic when we are daily subjected to people who not only think that every nation outside the U.S. is either a refuge for terrorists or a third world country, but who try to convince us that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs in the garden of Eden. Just sayin’.
Ah, I see your point.
I take back the ‘obviously’. I might be needing that again some time!
lol “americans invented english”??????
er, I think the english….from england….might have invented english……
How is omitting a vestigial letter “atrocious”? I wish it was done with more words, to be honest.
I disagree. We should add more letters to words so that when people shorten them on the internet they don’t sound like retards anymore.
I like your way of thinking.
Thank you.
Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it’s SUPERSTEAK!!!
Faster than a speeding hotdog, ……………………
Lol.
Sadly, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend has the same hero…
my girlfriend’s hero is my steak
My girlfriend boobies are my heroes.
I wish my girlfriend’s boobies tasted like steak.
they go good with a1 sauce
Captain Beefsteak is my favourite hero of all time.
I am sure Captain Sirloinheart can beat the crap out of him
Surely you mean the gallant knight, Richard the Sirlionheart?
I’m MAJOR MEAT MAN!
I WILL SAVE YOU FROM NON-MEATY-NESS!
HUZZAH!
I hope you meant Captain Beefheart…
No, he was referring to the Tomato Hero of old… Too bad he got squished in the horrible juice disaster of ‘38.
Not surprisingly, the heroes for some other classmates of this 10 year old child were: booze, god, Playstation, cigarettes and puppies.
swings and roundabouts.
lulz! comment win
When I was ten, my hero was “that guy from the tissue commercial” X3.
He’s the archnemesis of hippie veggans
Stutter ffail
Why yes actually, yes I am!
What is his secret power?
He can eat anything made of meat or with some resemblance to it. Even villains.
He can stay calm afterwards.
meat, my hero…
I was definitely going to make that joke, until I did a search to see if I had been beaten, and I clearly have been.
CHICKITY CHINA THE CHINESE CHICKEN
…survived this time its Beefy Bulgaria the Bulgarian Bull who gow the raw end of the deal…
*got.
Turkety Turkey the Turkish Turkey is shivering in his battery farm – only 6 weeks left
what if Beefy Bulgaria the Bull were to go into Chickety China’s shop? Would the insurance pay out or would the ensuing diplomatic turmoil encourage WWIII?!
I’m pretty sure it looks like Martin Luther King was rubbed out in place of Steak. Well, which one of those has done more for America? Discuss..
It does, you’re right.
Maybe it was like the ‘daddy or chips’ advert, and the kid couldn’t decided between ‘Martin Luther King or Steak’.
I vote McCain for my favourite chip.
LOL. Who knew McCain was microwavable.
you’re not from round here are ya?
His wife was oxidized a few years ago. That’s why she can’t move her own muscles.
She cannot move her husband muscles either
Nope
cowchip.
hard decision, he must have had a dream about steak
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their STEAK DINNER!
Actually, if it’s a hero sammich (aka sub, submarine, hoagie, etc. etc.) then they will not be judged on the content of their hero, whether it be cheese, onions, ketchup, a sprinkling of salt and pepper… mmmm… must be lunchtime
Well yes, MLK is definitely a calming food, akin to hot cocoa and biscotti. Nothing beats curling up in front of the fireplace with a big glass of MLK after a long hard day.
you’re right, Martin Luther King was erased. I guess steak has probably had more of a direct impact on the kid’s life. After all, MLK died 40 years ago. He’s such a distant figure in the kid’s life. Whereas he’s face to face with steak maybe once a week.
lol looking closely i see the name Martin Luther King had been rubbed out previously
Meat, your hero ?
Meat the parents?
Meat the inlaws?
*beats the meat*
*Greets the meat*
Hello, do you come here often?
Only if you stroke it the right way…
…wouldn’t want to rub it up the wrong way now, would we? The meat might get ill and be sick everywhere.
That’s not sick. It’s all gravy.
Do not rib it the wrong way or it will roundhouse you.
ribbit?
Ribbed for pleasure?
Hero WIN
Honesty win!
Yeah, I don’t really think this is a fail at all, steak is pretty amazing.
that kid sure loves him some meat.
You sure loves yourself some grammar?
it wouldn’t sound right if it was grammatically correct.
Also I’m going to go with the I’m not American so…. me no habla Engels good, senor grammar Nazi.
No hablas Español tan bueno, tampoco
Yeah, I know.
My word. That kid is 10? Perhaps s/he is developmentally disabled, but that is some truly atrocious handwriting for a 10-year-old.
Given that steak is his hero, I’ll bet he is overweight @ 10years old.
I accidently my steak, what do I do?
*regurgitates*
The whole thing? Enjoy!
Construct additional pylons.
<.< My handwriting’s much worse and I’m ahead of most people my age. I’m more concerned about the missing apostrophe in “it’s”. I’d hate for this kid to grow up to be one of those people that make you want to punch them through the Internet.
better to leave one out than to throw in extra apostrophe’s in all your plural’s, imo
It’s better than a lot of adult handwriting I’ve seen. Nuns just don’t beat kids like they used to.
What makes me laugh the hardest is if you look closely, the kid that wrote this ERASED something and put steak in its place!!!! HAHAHA it looks like a whole sentence, and it seems to have the word LUNCH in it but I can’t tell.
~Manos.
It was Martin Luther King jr.
Bacon Lettuce Tomato
Turkey and Swiss on rye
Hero Hoagy.
I think that’s what he was going for- my favorite hero is a steak hero… with cheese, onions, and ketchup all over!
This is clearly a fabrication where some poor kids assignment has been erased so that someone can submit this to fail blog.
If you look at the right hand side:
‘I am 10′
‘My teacher………’
‘The member (of my family that helped me with my homework?)’
‘Big brother’
I hope so, that makes it funnier for me
STEAK MAKES ME CALM!
I want that t-shirt
Makes the cow a bit jittery, though.
Meat is DEFINITELY my hero. I start the day with jerky, have a roast beef sammich for lunch and a burger for dinner.
On a totally unrelated topic, I expect never to have heart disease.
lol americans and their food
lolamericans should be the next ICHC daughter-site!
Laugh at silly Yanks until you’re red, white, and blue in the face!
Meet my Hero: Failblog
It makes me calm and it is my favorite newspaper.
I only like well done failures.
pink in the middle?
Yes please!
I think it is probably a black kid because the name that is erased and now reads STEAK is Martin Luther King. So his hero was Martin Luther King but was changed to steak. Pity.
I’d call this a fail, except, sometimes, i think a good steak IS my hero!
mmmmmmmmm, now i’m hungry.
myspace go home!
This is a total win. The only thing more heroic than steak is bacon.
Steak wrapped in bacon.
I met a guy in the smoking lounge at the Las Vegas airport who had just gotten a tattoo on his arm, over his alcohol enriched weekend.
It was of a heart, with a ribbon through it, and on it, where it should have said “Mom” it said….. “Bacon”.
I wish I could have made that up, but I didn’t.
he wrote martin luther king, rubbed it out and wrote steak …uh..huh
Hahah.. this is the coolest kid ever.
Um, hello… no-one ever had a Hero Sandwich? Guess what type of filling this kid likes…
beef council win
Steak rules! Steak win – some kids have imaginary heros. Some kids have heros that end up beating their pregnant wife and end up in jail. This kid admires steak. Its awesome and not likely to let the kid down like other heros can.
Yay steak
Plus, it’s super effective at killing vampires.
Is this kid fat? His hero is a food that, while not junk, isn’t exactly the healthiest thing to eat. I know that answer. It’s Anubis listening to Led Zeppelin while dressed up like a fox. Apparently, he’s a furry fur suiter with a better taste in music than kids nowadays.
This isn’t a fail.
HOLY SHUT THIS IS FUNNY.
Which school is it from?
Three years ago back in Elementary, I saw these at my school, just wondering >.>
If you look closely in the box, it says “martin Luther king Jr.” but the kid erased it.
Clearly steak is more of a hero than martin Luther king jr. xD
Good eyes WIN!
to that person who said that “the americans invented english”……i think you might have got it a bit wrong there.
the english language….was invented in ENGLAND….by the english people……. :s
haha lol :p
Frist!
EPIC FAIL
Is it normal for a little kid to love steak so much
i bet the little guys isnt so little
Maybe the report was about his/her favorite hero sammich. :O
This is a better than all the kids who picked Superman and stuff; at least steak is real, stops our stomachs from growling, tastes good, and gives us nourishment.
Damn…realized the typo just as I hit “add comment.” It’s supposed to be “this is still better than…”
This is definitely a win, steak kicks ass. I only wish I had the foresight to realize I should worship steak instead of superman when I was younger.
Superman sleeps in steak pajamas
i love that martin luther king is erased and replaced by steak… oh the LOLz…
I love steak, especially the sound it makes when you slap it across a PETA moron’s cheek (either end)
I like how the kid put Martin Luther King, erased it, and just wrote “steak”.
Classic.
I wish I had been that awesome in elementary school :p
There goes my hero… watch him as he goes…
Steak is a far better role model than a lot of humans I know. The kid is on the right track.
This is not a fail it is an epic food win.
Underneath it looks like he erased “Martin Luther King”.
That’s kinda sad. XD
It looks like we’ve got a future chubster on our hands. I mean… ‘it calms me down.’ haha. Shit, what an awesome kid.
The funny thing is he’s my brother and barely weighs 100 pounds at age 16.
“Still eating steak”
How is this a failure? Steak is my hero.
That is so funny.
Steak is my hero… I see no problem here
I want to see what the costume would e for our superhero Steak. Not “Steakman”…”Steak.” Cape made from gristle. LOL!
I want to see what the costume would be for our superhero Steak. Not “Steakman”…”Steak.” Cape made from gristle. LOL!
I love the fact that Martin Luther King Jr. was erased for Steak.
XD
He erased Martin Luther King and wrote steak! epic failure.
It funny cuz he wrote martin luther king first and then erased it.
What’s sad is that his first answer was “Martin Luther King Jr”. Apparantly he prefers beef over civil rights.
The worst part is that the kid is 10.
Homonym fail!
That should have been Parenting Fail or Teaching Fail. That is one stupid kid. I can’t stop laughing at this one. I think it’s the funniest fail yet!
I think this kid is a pretty cool guy, eh pisses off vegetarians and doesn’t afraid of nothing.
WTH? This is a fricken WIN! Steak is my hero too. *nom noms*
Steak is a hero’s favorite food, giving strength to defeat even Giygas.
Win.
I call this one a win.
luv the way he’s rubbed out Martin Luther King Jr to write Steak
notice how they erased martin luther king jr
Steak = win!
xD did no one realize that the kid erased martin luther king Jr and wrote steak??? lol
Err, guys, if you look closely, he wrong before steak in fainted erased letters, “Martin Luther King Junior”. He chooses steak over the leader of the civil rights movement. FAIL, even for a 10 year old.
I love how he first wrote Martn Luther King on his assignment, but then changed it to meat. Good one.
I enjoy the fact that Martin Luther King Jr. was written first, erased, then replaced with steak. xD
Human rights movement fail.
I like how he erased Martin Luther King Jr. and then changed it to steak
omg, this kid is 10? I thought he was like 7
if you look closely you can tell it said martin luther king jr, but the kid erased it
Was it written ” Martin Luther King Jr ” before the kid writes steak? haha. This rocks.
Where did you get this because I think its my brothers, no joke.
i remember doing this “newspaper” thing in elementary school
i love that you can just barely make out “martin luther king” which was erased when he had a change of heart.
Yeah, most important thing in her/his life. FAIL
As in mine … er, n/v what?
you can see he put Martin Luther King and rubbed it out.
oh i just noticed heather put frankly the same thing
jesus everybody put it i just whizzed right down.
haha theres an ad for steak.
hahahahahha
his original hero:
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR! ( you can faintly read the erased writing!)
Unorthodox heroism WIN
I wish my steak was Emo so it would cut it”s self
I agree! WIN! Bacon would also be acceptable.
Holy shit! I had to do this waaaay back in first grade! I said ninjas were my heroes… what?
LAWL i have that on the wall right next to me(the thing he wrote on not the actual one) P.S. why couldnt it show the picture he used for it? there was a picture box.
I like how Martin Luther King Jr. was erased…..
I love how the kid erased Martin Luther King Jr. in order to talk about his real hero…. steak
That looks like my handwriting when I was a kid. Hmmm…
did anyone else catch what the kid erased before putting “steak”?
I’d just like to point out the fact that the paper USED to say “Martin Luther King Jr.” Apparently, steak is better….
i say “WIN”
Look Closely, He got rid of Martin Luther King Jr.
Wow hes a stupid 10 yr old.
Another American I suppose.
I don’t see how you got this and im so serious right now that is my brothers from like the 1st grade. We still have that no joke.
steak keeps this kid calm? someone needs intervention.
Laugh. Out. Loud. I say “LOL” all the time. But i REALLY DID this time!!
american
I did this when I was in grade 4
*funky porn soundtrack drowns dialogue*