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Cheezburger Network Blog
237th?
*masturbates*
I wondered what that mark was above the ‘L’ of fail.
That is where someone touched the ‘Hands on History’ and broke the earth.
Brought to you by the same construction company as “balcony fail” and “avenue fail”. Serving with dedication and quality for 97 years, and celebrating their centennial anniversary this month!
too much box, too much…
hey thats the way i walk home!!lol
adding interest win
deviousness FTW
Quite easy to explain and it happens waaaay too often. The contractor for the sub division had to maintain 4 feet from the road as a uniform diminsion and meet an existing sidewalk outside the sub division. If he had met the existing side walk “correctly,” He runs the risk of being forced to tear it out, according to inspection guidlines. Blame bureaucracy!
how the …
Maybe some expert in plate tectonics theory could explain this.
Or some expert in hiring unqualified personnel
Maybe it’s by those edgy street line painting “artists” that couldn’t move a car.
make that “*wouldn’t* move a car”
The road that’s paved over the San Andreas fault line does the same thing. The plates shift and move the road.
Here, however, I think it’s plain ol’ stupidity.
I LOVE that game!
Duh. The san andreas line is in real world ya know…
which season of real world?
theres a hill there it just doesnt show it in the picture. its an illusion that
Ummm….. if you’d LOOK at it you would see that there is no “hill” unlesss
unless hills are flat land now. Whoever did this is full of Fail and AIDS.
Brown I think.
Just wow…
Actually, it’s called a creeper fault. It’s a fault between two plates
that continually moves and is not a threat for damage of earthquakes because
no pressure builds up from the locking of the two places. think of
it like theres no cohesion from the two plates. It continually moves
unlike other faults that move large amounts at one time.
Eh, tell that to 1906. Oh and 1989.
Neither 1906 nor Loma Prieta ruptured a section of the San Andreas that exhibits asesimic creep.
The 1868 Hayward earthquake, however, did rupture through a creeping section. Creep generally postpones large quakes to some degree, but depending on the tectonic loading rate, it usually doesn’t release all the stress on the fault. When it does reach its yield strength, you do still get quakes.
Are you saying it’s my fault?
Tectonically, it is.
Pun win.
maby the guy who put this down just failes so much…..
His name must have been bob.
this is what happens when every house-owner builds his own sidewalk….
… and hires idiot construction workers.
*hiers
???
Well, when you only pay them mim wage, what do you expect?
Max fail.
Friend of Max Headroom?
and Max Power
What about Max Payne?
Well, there are amillion Maxs out there.
But there’s only one Joe-Max Moore!
Like Max a Million?
is this a spell check fail? or are you implying that the home owners bequeathed the sidewalk to the construction workers?
(Neither. He’s referring to a previous fail)
thank you fluffy.
sorry thats the one i meant to comment on, and thought i was…comment fail
FAIL. gringo had it right the first time.
Probably a few workers started cementing from one end and the rest from the other end, resulting in this…er… noveau trottoir.
Why can’t you enjoy unqualified worker’s artistic self expression?
We’re thoroughly enjoying it, Egg.
I think this is taking outsider art to a whole new level. The Sidewalk Mistakes Exhibition, coming soon to a gallery near you.
Or maybe they measured for the sidewalk using checkline leather. That’s the reason the streets don’t line up in my home town of Santa Barbara.
Either way, this is definitely a major fail.
*hic* Ok boshhh…… I shink I got the shidewalk *hic* done…..
Good job *hic!* both shidewalks lookin goods! *passes out*
More like Fail Blog fail.
That’s obviously a ledge there, and a set of stairs. It’s just the angle of the pic.
Are you being ironic?
Because if you are not, please take a look to the shadows and let us know if you still think the same.
I think he/she is being post ironic by looking at a different picture.
Oh. Is the post-ironic movement related in any way to the pre-moronic one?
That would be considered the post-ironic, pre-moronic supersonic movement.
But they moved to Oklahoma City this season.
where they all voted for McCain
…and failed.
*dances*
McCain Failin’ 08!
*gets jiggy with Loz*
na na na na nana na?
…… Batman?
I know from personal experience that it is very difficult to get a group of drunks to agree on how many nanas there are in the Batman theme song.
Hey hey hey hey, goodbye…
Anybody get the NBA reference?
Just got it, Thanks
Yes, Mr. Salt, we got the reference.
I don’t think that I could possibly be happier that they have left.
Isn’t the post-ironic movement part of the pre-moronic one? Or was it moronic already? Ngah, i’ll have to look it up.
I think it’s the moronic-post-sans-ironic movement.
post modern geometry
I think the brain starts to rotten, once you start checking daily Failblog, and obviously that’s your case
Is that why your grammar has gone to pieces?
*sniff*
Something is start to rotten in here me thinks.
I accidentally rot.
Denmark?
Hamlet! Come to my arms my beamish boy…
Hamlet accidenty his mum, so he’s a little busy right now.
I thought it was Oedipus who accidenty his mum.
And then he went blind. Bad deal.
Do I detect Jabbermocky?
You are truly brillig to detect that!
Oh look who is slithy now!
You’re outrabeous!
Jabberwocky references? Quite a gimble.
I mean outgrabeous….
Be careful, you might make him frumious.
Naw. He’ll bandersnatch right out of it.
Sigh…postmodernists like Rorty and Derrida just HAVE to introduce deconstructionism into the picture, huh?
Deconstructionism FAIL.
‘It’s like raaaaiii-iinnnn…’
damn you, earworm of the day!
It’s a new movement with influences from the Dodoists and the Fauxists with hints of Post-Moronic Constructivism.
It it echoed overtones of the post-colonic movement.
Don’t forget the Anti-Satiricals, the Laconics, and the ever-popular Jackass Movement.
Actually I think it is flat, just at a county/sub-division line… you often see discontinuities there
Ive never seen one. Im not a main of faith when it comes to such serious issues as county/sub-division demarcation.
glitch fail.
GLITCH???
*fap* *fap* *fap*
GLITCH! Uh…ANYTHING!
More like Fail Blog fail FAIL.
Sounds like the new Morse code…
blog blog blog fail fail fail blog blog blog.
Or something you order in a restaurant: fail fail fail fail fail blog with fail. Hold the blog.
May I have the same but with with double of fail?
How would you like your fail done?
I’d like it well done please. With a side order of boiled nonsense.
would you like a side of fails or the fail of the day?
What’s the special? Oh, just bring some deep-fried fail and the fail soup, please.
I would have thought you liked your fail flambéed.
I’ll have the prime fail, medium rare, with a glass of blog to go with it.
I’m sorry, we’re all out of blog. Would you like some fail instead?
Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and fail; egg bacon and fail; egg bacon sausage and fail; fail bacon sausage and fail; fail egg fail bacon and fail; fail sausage fail fail bacon fail tomato and fail.
*dons viking hat*
fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail lovely fail, wonderful fail, lovely fail, wonderful fail…
Gah! Fail Valkyries!
*Don King’s viking hat* well now that just looks silly….
Monty Python reference WIN!
and why can’t we see the shadows of each stair?
ypu fial!!!!!eleven!!!!111one!!!!!!!11111
hi I’m a brick layer… how can I help u :-/
Lol you…Lay…bricks. If you know what I mean.
… In soviet russia, bricks lay you!
I’m a lumberjack and I’m o.k.
hi I’m a lawyer. I heard you needed a sidewalk poured..?
I’m a cowboy, I herd you needed….
a hat?
asshat?
this is either shopped or that sidewalk lay neatly over a right-lateral strike fault.
Oh, definitely shopped. Where are the names and handprints in the cement?
And look at the pixels! And the shadows!
The word ‘fail’ on the pavement doesn’t even HAVE a shadow!
These Failblog puzzles keep getting trickier and trickier. I think I understand the answer now. This is a picture puzzle thing, so the problem wasn’t as obvious.
The answer is obviously Anubis listening to Led Zeppelin. With foxies. Don’t forget the foxies. Cute, furry, Led Zeppelin-loving foxies.
In boxies, brown cardboard boxies.
Wearing soxies, fuzzy woolen soxies.
Full of moxy, unbridled moxy.
Living in Biloxi…in the south in Biloxi.
Sniffing epoxy, a tube of epoxy.
eating bagels and loxies, freshly sliced loxies.
And trespassing with doxies, ho-made doxies.
And catching the poxies, the suppurating poxies.
You guys have got moxie, pure unadulterated moxie.
*is festooned with phloxies, beautiful purple phloxies*
*Takes out dixies* Must have tea for my dixies.
Er. . .Phloxes? *runs and hides*
(Phlox…it’s a flower. You know…pretty, colorful flower?)
Me thinks I misunderstood the thread (No i in the plural form.) Now I see eyes everywhere.
*tips hat*
*stands by Marius* *pats Marius* It happens to the best of us.
And I thought I had a quick way to heat up my tea.
*giggles girlishly and bats eyes*
Hah. The *FOOM!* is not for such prosaic things!
:p
Is it warm in here? *pulls on collar* Well look at that, tea’s done!
Tell that to the Admiral, you wily Dragon!
Hee…there is absolutely nothing about the Admiral that I would call “prosaic”.
I agree…. I think they went over the hills and far away to find Anubis playing with his black dog in Kashmir with his purple umbrella and 50 cent hat, so they climbed the stairway to heaven and said “Thank you, now lets boogie with Stu” and they all read Moby Dick. Thats why it is poured incorrectly. My hat is off to you, Roy Harper.
Anubis walked in through the out door into the houses of the holy. His presense was welcome, unlike the physical graffiti everywhere. Good times, bad times, he’s had them all. He was there at Accilles’ last stand, knowing that’s the way to the gallows pole. “since i’ve been loving you”, he informs his friends. Like a fool in the rain in the evening, enjoying tea for one. by the ocean with no wuarter, the song remains the same, he informs us. the song remains the same.
The city is so poor it can’t make the ends meet.
Best comment so far, +1 Insightful
hehe *golf clap*
*Gives penicillin*
That’s what happens when you play through the rough.
Dang the rough and my two soggy holes.
You get a sidewalk that doesn’t connect??
When i was young i thought that was a type of food “ends meat”
Are you referring to rump roast?
that would be playing in the mud.
Pork butt?
Too fatty for me. I’ll have the bees knees.
I much prefer eye of newt.
Or toe of frog.
I think I have some wool of bat an tongue of dog…
can I see the cats pajamas?
It could be a conversion problem. The one path was laid to imperial measurements and the other path to metric measurements.
The road to hell was paved that way.
This is the reason the highway to hell is more popular, then.
Also more congested. Especially during rush hour.
It seems very quiet if it is the road to hell. A back road maybe?
Oh, no. I meant – the road to hell was paved using the same method.
You know what, nevermind. It’s 4am and jokes sound a lot funnier in my head.
4am and you can still type. *impressed*
(Don’t tell her, but she was actually on the road to Heck.)
Perdition me, can I thumb a ride?
*gently elbows* Excuse, me, Hades first.
Cheron a roll.
.. Styx and stones…
Oh, Lethe me alone!
You guy just y-Acheron and on and on…
You’re just Phlegethon-ing a dead horse, Dragon!
It’s the long road to ruin.
22th!!!!!!!!!
No.
Shut up, Hugh!
Why?
Don’t you speak to Hugh that way, you upstart!
I think our upstart’s last name is Corrigible.
11th*
Or am I 12th?
Aw, screw it.
Did Linsday Lohan design this side-walk or something? I mean, this looks like the path she usually drives in…
nothing Lindsay Lohan does is straight.
*masturbates*
that looks incredibly american
And you look incredibly stupid. Your point?
Ah, he’s pointless.
Pudless.
If the path of the righteous is straight and golden, and the path to hell is fiery and stuff, then this is obviously the path of the reasonably nice-but-makes-mistakes-type of guy. ie a bit wonky now and then.
I don’t use ie, I use ff.
*ugly lol*
This may be a sidewalk construction fail but as a oblivious biker trap its a win.
it could also double as a drunk driver trap.
That’s profiling; they stop everybody driving down that sidewalk!
Shel Silverstein’s new book (released posthumously): Where the Sidewalk Breaks
WIN.
Oooh. I’ve never won before. Do I get a prize?
You get a … BRAND… NEWWW… MONKEYYYY!!!!!
Haven’t you always wanted a mon-key?
Yes, yes I have.
Well, they almost got it, you can still step from one side on another.
It’s simple. It is the answer to that math question we had in 7th grade. A sidewalk leaves Seattle at 8:30 a.m. going 30 mph. Another sidewalk leaves Miami at 10:30 a.m. going 40 mph. What time do they collide in St. Louis. This is a picture of the collision.
I’d love to see a sidewalk going 50 kmph.Metric rules!
Well, we’ve already seen a tree going 30mph, so anythings possible I guess.
Not to ruin the Fail, but this is likely where two municipalities meet. One said “You move your sidewalk to match ours” And the other said “No you…” well you get the idea.
Makes perfect sense to the drunken stumbler.
It’s just a jump to the left,
And then a step to the right.
You put your hands on your hips…
.. and bring your knees in tight
. . .but it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. . .
Let’s do the sidewalk again!
It’s so dreamy, oh concrete free me.
Walk this way… *crooks finger*… no, wait, that way…
Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
When a snake of a gal gave me an evil wink
She shook me up, she took me by surprise
She had a failblog thread and the devil’s eyes.
For those who want to continue this trip down memory lane, click my name. *wink* to you, Marius.
http://www.rockyhorror.com
I played Magenta once in the stage show.
*wink*
That must have been fantastic! I went as Brad once, but my group liked to hook virgins into the theater and that’s hard to do when you dress up. Hee! Hee! *wink* *wink*
Wow, that sounds really bad. Honestly they where all trespassing.
Now I KNOW you’re my age… virgins??? They’re been extinct since…
*snort* I just spilled my Tea.
*mops daintily and ineffectually at lap* *giggles*
*Crooks finger under Mookie’s chin* You are incorrigible.
Seismic Offset Win
This is George Bush’s fault, I recon.
nah, he was an oil man, concrete wasnt his thing… or his strategie’s thing. Or his thought process….
What strategy? What thought process? Last time I checked, he was brain dead.
That’s what happens when you start build a road from 2 places at the same time.
looks like a sidewalk to me.
Yeah whatever. You know what I meant.
There’s very blatantly a step there ;p
Misleading angle fail.
Wow, when I was growing up the kids used to TP and egg houses, now their moving sidewalks…..for shame.
*hands Blue2th the shellacked halibut and waits for self-flagellation*
It’s been awhile since we broke that out. Good thing it’s shellacked.
..and why is it I’m suppose to whip myself with a varnished fish?
For typing “their” instead of “they’re”? Unless you meant to suggest that the kids own moving sidewalks.
I’m tempted to say the photo is fake.
Sidewalks are poured as single slabs of concrete with the “seams” cut in. They aren’t individually squares placed one at a time.
The stretch would’ve been poured at once in the same form. I refuse to believe two different pours were done separately and somebody was stupid enough to not align one form to the other slab.
The top half of the photo is clearly a newer addition–you can see the freshly planted sod and the concrete is still fresh and white. I don’t think it’s fake. I think that the top half of the photo shows a new subdivision or a street extension in some suburban development. The contractors laid the sidewalk wrong, perhaps because they started from the far end or perhaps because the city/developer changed its regulations about the distance between the sidewalk and the street.
If this is, as I suspect, a picture of right-lateral fault offset, then the concrete doesn’t need to have been placed as individual squares. Faults form at weak points in the earth’s crust, and they in turn offset things at those things’ weakest points. A seam cut into a slab of concrete is going to be weaker than the middle of the slab.
The corner of Rose and Prospect streets in Hayward is being torn apart very neatly at a joint in the concrete, courtesy of the Hayward Fault. That fault is also pulling Berkeley’s Cal Memorial Stadium apart at a joint in the concrete, even though the fault itself is a hundred feet or so from the seam showing the offset.
I’d wager this could be due to that property line being at the edge of a municipality. One might have a law that says something like “sidewalks must be 4 feet from the street” and the next town says “sidewalks must be 3 feet from the street.” No compromise, just dumb government bureaucracy and zoning, etc. That’s about how efficient local governments can be.
Damn… just when I though I’d found out where the sidewalk ends…
the road begins?
If I had to guess, I’d say one section was built farther from the street and the second home owner thought it looked too close and checked the city right of ways and found that the sidewalk was eating up more of his yard than he wanted and he made a fuss. That would explain why they still don’t meet up properly, since the first home owner would now expect the city to move the sidewalk on their section to where it belongs. I’d think any ground movement would cause substantial cracking. Just a thought.
Who on earth takes the time to puzzle out that monstrosity of logic?
maybe Leonard Nimoy, who played the logical Mr. Spock for so many many many years?
Hilarious…a lot like life!
lol,
first comment
to me, this is a win.
I’m a cucumber.
Yes, we know you’re a vegetable. Thank you for owning up all the same.
Technically, he’s a fruit, which is just as apropos.
Excellent engineering skills.
I hope this company don’t move into bridge construction
What can I say, folks, it’s definitely brought to us by our tax dollars hard at work~~~EPIC cityworker FAIL!!!
Photoshopped. There are shadows on the sidewalk where there shouldn’t be.
Machs nix aus.
Someone just changed their minds.
Ooh, ooh, remember the I35 bridge in Minnesota? Same contractor?
The job was made by 2 portuguese engineers.
Where the sidewalk fails.
No! it should have been ritten like:
IL
FA XD
discouraging bikers WIN
FA
IL
Maybe the person who did this knew he was going to get laid off… and intentionally did a poor job.
There is a height difference between the two bricks. I think there are steps between but the photo was taken at an angle so it cant be seen.