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Biology fail.
FIRST!
ahflkdjsfsdf
fsgfsdgfd b fddfs sdf fd fd df f df dffd
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
lebowski win!
nobody calls me lebowski, man… I’m the Dude!
I feel sorry for you if your only English word is ‘first’. I find ‘yes’, ‘no’ and beer please’ the first words to learn in a new language.
you forgot zing
My hovercraft is full of eels.
Mon aéroglisseur est plein d’anguilles.
There is roast beef on my nose.
I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.
I will not buy this egg, it is hatched.
I will not buy this roof, it is thatched.
I will not by this nicotine, it is patched.
I will not buy this bus, it is crashed.
I will not buy these cookies, they are batched.
I will not buy this glove, it’s unmatched
I will not buy this fish. It is catched.
I will not buy this vagina, it is snatched.
I will not buy this baby, it is trashed.
I will not buy these boobs, they are flashed.
I will not buy these potatoes, they are mashed.
I will not use this spice; it is dashed.
I will not use this gate, its latched
I will not buy this updated computer programme, it is patched
I will not take this man, he is attached.
I will not eat these browns, they are hashed.
I think you’re dying, right now!
i will not do this rhyme, it is suck.
I will not buy these pumpkins, they are smashed.
I will not use this car, it’s been crashed.
I will not touch those genetals, they’re rashed.
I will not buy this vase, it is smashed.
I will not buy Amy Winehouse, she is trashed.
I will not buy this corpse, it is gashed.
I will not buy these Bridges, they are Nashed.
I will not post this comment, its time is past.
I will not use this WoW, it is patched.
I cannot find my weed, it’s been stashed.
I will not listen to this band, it is Clashed.
I will not use this encryption key. It is hashed.
I will not rock this casbah, it is Clashed.
I will not eat these browns, they are hashed.
I will not use this cow, it is crosshatched.
I will not accept your check it is cashed.
I will not walk this line, it is dashed.
I will not buy this firewood, It’s been ashed.
I will not buy this tire, it is slashed.
I will not contribute to this thread, it is crass.
I will not buy this alcoholic, it is smashed.
I will not eat this lasagne, It’s mashed.
(Nooooo!!! My poor lasagne D=)
I cannot use this tire, it is gashed
I will not buy this stereo, it is muted.
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKERRRR
I will eat these brownies. They are hashed
I won’t pass this VD, it’s been catched.
I will not reply to this incredibly long thread. It is fail’d.
I will not wear this outfit, it’s mismatched.
I will not buy this fail it is wrong.
I love this song, I will thrash
I will not buy this slave, it is lashed.
I will not pay for this hooker, she was smashed.
I will not buy this computer; it is crashed.
Maybe he was itchy.
Please, fondle my buttocks. MY NIPPLES EXPLODE WITH DELIGHT! (Anyone who doesn’t get these jokes, you FAIL at life.)
My welcome mat is full of heels.
Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime.
You can go a long way with Yes, No and Beer Please… actually that third one usually does it for me.
Don’t forget to learn “where is the bathroom”. After all the “beer please” you will need to know it.
Amen doctor, Amen.
Very nice xD Beer is always good.
That’s what I told the Feds, and they didn’t believe me
aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaa aaaaaaa aaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
“First” as a reply. Automatic failure.
he was first jackass. U fail in life
you fail in continence?
Depends really.
that means he failed in America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Antartica, Australia and North and South America.
There are 3 Americas?!
Damnit, the secret’s out.
Ummm…..
No, there are only two Americas, north and south. Why do you ask?
Technically there is a Central America
Geographically North but culturally South. Thats why its called middle.
was it supposed to stay a secret?
Reading preceding comment fail.
what about Central America?
FAIL! You forgot CENTRAL America…
actually there’s also Central America.. just that no one pays attention to it
Attention FAIL
because america got named three times above?
cloral,
what about central America?
Have you seen my sugar cane?
Actually americans (who have no knowledge whatsoever of
geography) ignore the fact that there is a CENTRAL america too.
that means he failed in ->AmericaNorthSouth America<-.
Because ghehorg failed at geography and listed America thrice. YOU FAILED TOO
Perfect example for the use of the Oxford comma. Also, shh! It’s a secret to everyone!
John Edwards got one-upped!
fail
that would be continenTS
America Fail
Or does you fail incontinence? Which would be good then…
Or do you fail your subject-verb agreement? Which would be bad.
How is he first?
He’s second, dumbass.
Completely agree Aeternus. FIRST!
Maybe he wanted to be first to reply on first guys comment
Guy on guy commenting? A bit risque, even for failblog, don’t you think?
Not if it is only waist-up.
Guy on guy commenting? I’m there! *makes popcorn*
Call me when there’s some girl on girl commenting.
First FAIL
First FAIL!!!
But kindred spirits win…
It’s not photoshpped. Click my name to see the Snopes page where they confirm this is an actual letter.
Touches with out touching.
Hehe a good read
I liked the one about the Lebanese gym teacher.
These are funny. Fails from 1981.
I think this is also a reasoning, logical and editing fail.
In other words, it fails on many levels…
I think this is not even I fail. It’s just a sarcastic way to express a cheated
woman’s payback.
Right on!!
Frist
Frost.
Farts.
Freud
Fraud
Frood.
fracas
Proust.
Foust
Joust
Juiced
mousse
Truce.
deuce
Roost
noose
bigalow
Moose
Abstruse
Abuse
Obtuse
ALBATROSS!
Saegull
Kevin
marmalade
Wichitah
Amoebic dysentery!
Whatever they said.
Dawn of the dead.
Right said Fred
ohhh, my head.
Going back to bed…
c-c-c-c-combo breaker!!!!!
You’re such a faker.
Not a giver, just a taker…
No more rhymes now, I mean it!
while watching Moonraker
I know the muffin maker.
If you have a baby, never shake her.
My uncle’s amish but my aunt’s a quaker.
Mentos, the freshmaker
You guys are a head-acher!
If you’re a Celtics fan, shoot a Laker!
At least your mama’s not a Shaker.
Oh, by the way…
Anybody want a peanut?
(I’m sorry it went that long without the reply, Bla. It was a good setup.)
Sammy, the queer baker.
Rape charges for an L.A. Laker
Rape charges for an L.A. Laker.
Talldude’s repeat posts make my head ache-r.
Sara J is a bun bun baker!
I bought a house on hell’s half acre.
The boy who cried wolf is a dirty faker.
The right thing to do is eat oatmeal from Quaker.
Anybody want a peanut?
Purpletabby doesn’t rhyme. He’s a trouble maker.
It’s the way humans tocreate monsters, and it’s the way of monsters to destroy their creator
sarah palin, the booty shaker.
Angeline the baker
don’t go to school, become an automaker.
anybody want a peanut?
Faust spelling fail
Fracas? Nightstick!
Maracas? Plastic!
Caracas? Drastic!
Shakalakas? Fantastic
WAT?????????????????
Arun!
She accidentally pregnancy.
She pregnantally accidency
She pregnantness accidentationally.
She preggers wrongers.
What should she do?
She should drink some of that diet tea.
Are you from engrishfunny ?
WHAT SHOULD i DO?
Wait… what?
Woah, that is SOME kinky cheating! How do you manage to keep someone else’s sperm inside you and then blend it with your own?
I sincerely respect that dude.
Funny at it sounds: It has happend before, that a man carried picked up sperm from an other man on a hooker and his wife got pragnant from that.
That was she said
Epic lol.
Epic lulz.
*Car explodes*
That is so the last time I buy a car from Jokey Smurf Motors!
Bullshit. That’s impossible.
No, no, it all has to do with cross contamination. Didn’t you ever read your HACCP book?
Can’t. Pages might be dirty, and i don’t want to risk the purity of my keyboard…
Will it Blend ?
Blendtec Win!!
Will it float?
Poop floats. Sometimes.
Poop floats. Sometimes.
I believed you the first time!
Sorry. I had to flush twice.
said the EGG!
I knows stuff, you see…
So which came first, you or the chicken?
Depends on who is premature.
you respect his ability to keep someone elses sperm inside him? Dont some spiders to the same thing?
Aphids do. And every other generation is born pregnant
so they could be their own grandpa?
No, but an aphid’s father could also be its grandfather.
So these bugs are rednecks?
A humans father could also be its grandfather, I wouldn’t advise it though.
Damn, he must be cheat A LOT!
w00t veiwing this on collage computer cant see any images, backgrounds, adverts only text
So why are you on the internet?
Your computer is made from various magazine photos put together?
Duct-taped to the monitor.
*perk!*
win
Are you studying to earn a collage degree?
No, he/she just want to earn a computer
Universidad de Moron: our technology isn’t old, it’s retro!
I’d like to know what Abby’s reply was. Anyone?
She didn’t. She put it up here instead.
I couldn’t find her response. I was curious too. This letter is in a book she published in 1981 (I think), and I’m not sure she responded to it.
Sarcasm/humor win.
Potential Miscarriage Win
What now? Isn’t every pregnant man allowed to have issues? He’s obviously hormonal…
Maybe the woman is not carrying the baby in her belly, but in a backpack or something of the like. The man could have told her the baby was his, but since she does not trust him she is starting to suspect he stole the baby from a bin, a dumpster, or any other similar other Day Care center.
/applause
lmfao, lou
That one’s easy. The man, who got her pregnant, pretended to be her husband. Damn cheater.
Talk about passing the blame.
I have an open door policy when it comes to blame.
If it was a backdoor policy none of this would have happened
She could be ‘pregnant in the butt’, ala Tina Fey on ‘pregnant in the butt’ skit
I would like to try to get Tina Fey pregnant in the butt.
Sounds like they are both cheating.
understanding fail. or blunt logic win. *shrugs*
Wow. Speechless.
Correction: *almost* speechless.
Correction: *almost* correct
…
dot dot dot
dash dash dash
S?
dash dash dash, dot dot dot, dash dash dash
I can’t read Morse Code!
Dot dash dash
dot dot dot dot
dot dash
dash
?
dot dash dot dot,
sorry… what I meant to say was
dot dash dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dash dot dot.
Sorry for any confusion.
Ohhh, now I understand.
Dot’s what she said.
dot dash dot
dash dash dash
dot dot dash dot
dot dash dot dot
Can you not be speechless and yet still type?
I have no response to that.
Cat got your tongue?
http://www.icanhastongueburger.com
just dont accidently replace “tongue” with “fur” or else it wont be work appropriate.
I accidentally fur.
Actually, he typed it.
This one was old when I was a kid… and I’m what… 44 now?
must be a Shagsbearded goat.
I am curious which answer she got ??
Dear Madam,
This is not a baby. It is a roasted chicken.
After further investigation, police discovered it was a burrito.
LOL!
God,I wish people this dumb would stop reproducing.
then half of us wouldnt be here
Yes, the dumb half!
Then who would we laugh at?
He probably cheats by loaning his equipment to his friends.
That’s risky business. What if his friends never return his equipment?
Or leaves it out in the rain.
There could be significant shrinkage!
Not to mention rust. Ouch.
Sorry, misplaced comment.
Hmmm. . .out cheating on us?
Oh…! I’m not even sure this comment is mine!
Lets get you on the next Maury show, and find out who the REAL commenter is!
Man, there should really be a fail phrase worse than fail for stuff like this.
You mean like EPIC FAIL?
That would be the one.
how did you make that backwards “b”?
Duh… By typing in the mirror.
Wow! So the serbvers will be up at 2 PBT? Wait… what does that mean again?
Peanut Butter Time
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!!!!!1!
You accidenty the previous fail reference.
then scanning it or something?
The worse part of it is, she’s reproducing.
Or maybe I should say, replicating.
You may also say ‘polluting the gene pool’
someone must have given her pool the caddy shack treatment.
ahahha
Future therapist win!
It’s just an old joke, you guys.
So is that cougar that picked me up at the bar last night, but Im not complaining.
I laughed so hard, I accidentally myself.
Your WHOLE self?
More than half i’m sure.
He accidentally imploded the his sentence. ^^
Crap I should’ve done that with mine… premature pronounification….
Maybe she means ‘cheats’ like when you cheat at monopoly, he’s really crap at sex so he ‘cheats’ by providing a stand in when it comes to the.. err.. come.
clearly she’d have to have been blindfolded to not know of his ‘cheating’
Unless she hears him moving those monopoly pieces around when its not his turn…
Well. It’s obvious, isn’t it? He’s gay.
I wonder which welfare office is subsidizing not only this woman’s miseducation, her incubating CPS case, her willingness to jump in bed with *apparently more than one* philandering man, but the philandering man as well. Why did I pay for an incredibly difficult education, to work at an incredibly difficult job, when I could lie around, pregnant, having sex with whomever comes to my trailer bumming cigarettes, and being totally oblivious to the working of the reproductive system that has kept me in the cushy jobless security that is welfare and child support? I guess ignorance IS bliss.
*My sister is a social worker and I work at Microsoft, and intern for the capitol-the stories we hear are too ridiculous to be made up*
Ignorance truly is bliss, you must know, you work at Microsoft.
They’re doing it for the lulz.
It sounds like a joke, like there should be a rimshot at the end.
The rimshot is always in the end if you are doing it right.
and if you want to get paid.
The scrimshaw is always on the tooth if you are doing it right.
PREGNANCY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
Wait… what???
*rubs pregnant belly*
Be honest, Sara J…is that baby really yours??
*suspicious look*
I don’t think she knows!
Sigh… I don’t! I guess we’ll have to do a maternity test after he’s born.
Oh my god! Really?
… I’m sure those pregnancies will keep them cool. ?
Maybe they work that way in Holland.
Pregnancies don’t work that way! Goodnight!
Sleep tight!
but what if her man used another man’s penis when he had sex with her????
*grin*
I accidentally used an action verb…
you should probably the whole thing then… just sayin
*APPLAUDS LOUDLY*
Nobody caught her joke? She meant her husband is so slutty he has other guys seed on his equipment from sloppy seconds with loose women. Joke Pass!
Oh god. I didn’t get this at first, but then I read it again and…oh god.
Yeah same here… then I was like *facepalm-drag* lol
lol yeah thats pretty funny it took me like 2 minutes to get it though haha but good one
Umm… I dont think this is a biology fail. Its more like a fidelity or an honesty fail. If shes not sure its his, then obviously shes out tinkering around with other men too. lol
Shows how bad the educational system is. Next she’ll say she doesn’t know who the mother is
I work as a dispatcher for a police department…and I actually had a guy call in once because his girlfriend took his child…when I asked him if it was her child too, he replied and I quote “I don’t know” It turned out well, though, because all parties involved (except the child) were soon arrested.
Dear Abby,
I’m a dumb broad.
sincerely, Major Stupidity.
I dont get it :\
She says that HE cheats so much, and yet she doesn’t know if HER baby is his. Sweety, thats not how it works lol. If she doesn’t know if HER baby is HIS, then shes a cheating slut also. It might not be HIS because it might be another guys. Get it? hahah
I feel bad for the kid.
yeh sure hes the cheater anyway i think a blonde submitted that one
WOW………………….just………………………………………………………..WOW
HA HHHAHHAHHHAHAHAAA HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS SOOOO FUNNYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is pure stupidity at its best.
How do I make babby? (sic)
Maybe she was drunk and the room was dark?
my advice would be for her to put down the baby she’s carrying
I think SOMEONE needs some sex ed…
RETARD