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Cheezburger Network Blog
first! FLORIPA!
FLORIPA? Mto bom!
Nao tinha nada pra escrever huahuauha
now it is going to rain
it’s raining man?
Correction: men
caution: men
Caution Horses!
Jesus-horses
Caution: Lolcats!
Danger Will Robinson!
caution: Horses riding men
Beware: Criminal!
Hallelujah!
It’s
Raining
Men
Amen!
*looks in vain for the Admiral*
Dangit. Humidity is rising – but Dragon’s getting low.
even though A MEN doens’t make a lot of sense. But I capture
you’re humor! All because someone mentioned Florianópolis,
a beautiful brazilian city.
Um abraço pros mano de sta catarina!
Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
i love you!
now for something completelly different…
a man with 3 noses
big, growing and hard noses?
I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay…
I work all night and I sleep all day.
And yet, my comment will be denied its God given right to nest.
I’d like the spam, eggs, sausage & spam spam & spam.
Lumberjacks dislodge nests above this level.
My ex-parrot will have nowhere to nest. How sad
How about the giant redwood, the larch, the fir, or the mighty scots pine?
How about the giant redwood, the larch, the fir, or the mighty scots pine?
*is adept at the art of not being seen*
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Blue Oxes wont nest above or below this level.
HELLLOOOO WAKEY WAKEY!!!!!!
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavo-tree! On Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered SCONES for tea!
and also, a man playing a tape recorder up his brother’s nose!
Not his borther’s nose?
FIRST, TAKE A BUNCH OF FLOWERS!
THEN, ARRANGE THEN NICELY.. IN A VASE!
yup, definitely. Definitely raining man.
Opposite of Burning Man?
I had that once, I had to swallow these big pills and pee in a cup. It hurt at first, but eventually I got better.
Sounds like *golf clap*
Oh, those seedy golf players and their laissez faire approach to safe sex practices!
Oh, those seedy golf players and their laissez faire approach to safe sex practices!
You can say that agai….oh.
FIrst of the second
Not first! WIN!
That’s not a fail?
It just tells you to brake the little glass to get to the hammer and then use the hammer on the window
Not a Fail.
With what, dear Elsarild, do you break the glass? Do you carry a hammer with you?
Dude, have you never been in a bus before?
The glass between you and the hammer is unbelieveble thin, you can almost brake it my tapping the glass.
*tapping my ass?
Not really, try someplace else.
my hammer?
*enrolls Elsarild in Humo(u)r 101*
I hear the sirens of the Irony Patrol.
Do the SIRENS go SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI?
Click, Chiiing, Take your money?
NO NOTHING GOES ******* SOI SOI SOI SOI OK???!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!
…..oh wait……. yeah they do……
No, but I’m sure my Rotflcoster does.
Did you mean ROFLCOPTOR?
M.C
…hammer?
I’d tap that glass…
Oh, so only your tapping will do the trick, then? I suspect you have some sort of magic touch or special technique then, hmmm?
The magic in his touch is touching it without touching it.
And still managing to dry his hands.
My magic touch got my hands wet.
thats what YOU said.
technique does it all, if your technique isn’t right somethings just don’t work
e.g.:driving a car, no technique = disaster
It’s all in the wrist.
It’s all in the hips!
Put your hands on your hips. . .
… lift both feet off the ground…
Oh lord…there goes the space-time continuum again!
*does the time warp*
I’ve got to keep control
When I dip, you dip, we dip.
break?
Kit-Kat?
Why, theng-kew!
The last time I was on a bus would be around forty years ago. As fer as I remember there were no little boxes with hammers in them with paradoxical instructions for their use. Sorry.
you first use the hammer to break the thin glass, then you use it for the bus window… where’s the problem?
Here it is : The hammer is BEHIND the thin glass so you can’t use it to break the thin glass… So either you need a second hammer or you gotta breakit without one
*voiceover by Morgan Freeman* I wish I could tell you that Andy Dufresne took that old rock hammer with him when he escaped from Shawshank prison. I wish I could tell you he used it to break the little glass to get the bigger hammer out of the little box, and used the bigger hammer to break the window. But, no. Andy had crawled to freedom through 500 yards of foul-smelling sewer pipe, only to die in a fiery bus crash. And what he was doing on a London bus, I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want to.
*snort!*
LOL! Well done, Mrs Z!
Heee…!!!
*snortgiggle!*
I thought you said your favo(u)rite was the Lion King! (Although this one is an excellent choice as well.)
Tenkew! *curtsies*
It’s not a fail, It’s to prevent stupid people from escaping.
Yesss, someone finally gets it!! Now keep it down. We don’t want ‘Them’ finding out. Do we?
4thish
FAILet-of-thish.
Chickwich.
chick-fil-a
Stop! . . . HAMMERTIME!
I can’t touch this!
Why, are you a molester of inanimate implements?
Or maybe just an implementor of molesting in-animations?
Is that what I can expect in the Pinocchio sequel?
You may expect also plenty of big, growing and hard noses.
I knew a D.I. who was hard nosed.
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose
birds are surprisingly absorbent
yet exorbitant.
In Soviet Russia nose blows you. Give bird to boy make choke to death and throw to fly.
A cat is fine, too.
damn you beat me to it
Fail at posting a fail
agreed.
Over the last days, failblog is mixing fails with riddles to keep our minds as active as possible: socks proms with no socks, touch sensor with no touch sign, hands on without hands, pregnancies where the father is not the father, and now a break glass for hammer for breaking glass for hammer for breaking glass for hammer…
Solution for this one is “always carry your own hammer, pee before leaving home” (or 42 if I am given another chance)
There’s a garden, what a garden, only happy faces bloom there
At the bottom of my garden lives a fairy. Fairy-Nuff.
Show ’nuff or it didn’t happen!
Can’t you just take his word for it? ‘Nuff said!
Damm, my alias for testing is now on undercover!
Last!
you still need to try harder
those who persist WIN
or not.
your persistence is futile
SURRENDER!!
how?
Surrender is futile, (we don’t want you).
When I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch.
Rolling numbers, rock and rolling, got my Kiss records out.
Not realy a fale wen you fink aboudit, but nun the lez pritty funnay ad furst site.
Get English lessons, and soon!
Preferably before bothering to post again.
This sentence is linguistically fascinating in that while it appears to be simple Low Moron at face value, a more thurough examination reveals a high probability that the speaker is also fluent in Dumbass. Remarkable.
*swaps your u for an o*
Dombass?
lingoistically?
Floent?
Valoe?
Thorough.
Henry David?
Oh, Wal-don, Marius!
*applauds*
Sed the guy who finks ‘thurough’ is corict Inglish. Clevur shitting fale.
pootpoot make brain hurt
that means you’re straining too hard. Just relax a little.
They don’t call him Andromeda for nothing.
LOL- win
Back!
Back to your cats!
SCOOT!
Over the last days, failblog is mixing fails with riddles to keep our minds as active as possible: socks proms with no socks, touch sensor with no touch sign, hands on without hands, pregnancies where the father is not the father, and now a break glass for hammer for breaking glass for hammer for breaking glass for hammer…
Solution for this one is “always carry your own hammer, pee before leaving home” (or 42 if I am given another chance)
what’s the question?
Tobe or not to be.
THAT’s the question
*To be
*Toby?
*To buy?
to buy …what…?
To buy a hammer so you can take it on your next bus journey!
I carry a big rock as a weapon – would this suffice?
Speak softly and carry a big rock?
I believe that quote is attributed to Thuddy Roosevelt.
I speak rocky but carry a big soft. I need some ice cream.
Speak big, but carry a soft rock?
*sings* Ohhhh if I had a hammer….
…I’d be Thor?
*gives PoB some athpirin*
to buy your mother.
your sister?
Good idea. I shall go forthwith to buy a hammer for my dear grey haired mother.
I accidenty your mum! What should I do?
Use the Hammer! The whole thing (and yes, that is most definitely more than half)..
8( Aside from rebury the casket?
………..(she’s been gone a while)
Hmmm? Not sure…
Clean your hands well?
Perhaps get psychiatric help?
Film it.
At eleven.
Oh no, I’m not falling for that trick again.
No no, it’s to blathe.
And as we all know, ‘to blathe’, means ‘to bluff’.
Have fun storming the castle!
WITCH!
I’m not a witch, I’m a DRAGON!
As you wish.
I see you have six fingers on your right hand. I know someone who’s looking for you.
Dubai.
Mumbai?
Buh-bye.
By and by?
Aye Carrumbaye
*sings a lullaby*
Still last!
Try harder!
That’s what she said
well, SOMEONE said it…
That’s what your mother said
That’s what my teachers said!
Good one.
Perhaps there’s another hammer hidden on the bus!
Reward? Escape from the burning, and potentially explosive bus!
The treasure hunt is on!
Don’t forget to stay over 50mph.
Here’s another thought: Maybe someone just jacked the sticker from one of those REAL “break glass for hammer” spots and stuck it here just to be obnoxious. I think this still qualifies as a FAIL, at least for the poor soul who desperately tries to find a hammer somewhere else, or who tries to break the glass with their bare hands. But a WIN for the guy who moved the sticker.
I always carry a small hammer, just in case.
thats what HE said.
Thats what SHE said.
after the trans-gender operation failed?
sry, I don’t understand the sentence ’cause english isn’t my native language
Thats what I said.
*applauds*
The right tool for the right job eh doc?
‘Be prepared’ was what they taught me in Girl Guides.
*is now thoroughly confused*
All the other boys went to Cubs and Scouts. I had a better idea…
Heeheehee!
He was thrown out for eating too many brownies.
This is very common in the uk. The regulations state that in the event of a bus crashing onto its side, you must first smash your fist to pieces before smashing UK government property. It makes sense, to gordon brown.
I’m sure it was implemented before Gordon Brown.
Gordon Brown has been implanted?!
Dead Mr Titmonger,
Thank you very much for your reply to my comment on ‘Bus Fail’. I will be printing this out and adding it my ‘Great Failblog Replys’ scrapbook. I hope to see many more interesting replies in the future. You truly are a wonderful person.
Yours non-sincerely,
GoolieGooGoo
Dear GoolieGooGoo AKA the artist formerly known as “eArtrash808″,
I understand you feel a strong telekinetic connection with your Scottish kin in that of Mr Brown – however it should be duely noted by yourself and those gathered among us here that the afore mentioned connection is but an illusion mustered by excessive psychotropic intoxicant intake. Make I prescribe a mutual exclusion zone of 500 miles.
Yours faithfully, (honestly)
Titmonger
p.s. – Posting your myspace page will not make you famous. Judging by your adolescent tendencies my I suggest X factor? I’m sure the media are waiting with bated breath for you to “break” the scene.
p.p.s.
yo mamma
WIN!
I really like X Factor. I find it collects all those budding entertainers together so I know where to avoid.
Oh, but that spanish girl on it at the moment, Ruth… mmm…
Wait…telekenetic connection? Did you mean telepathic? Or did you mean to suggest Brownie and GooGoo Doll share a mental connection that allows them to move objects with their minds?
Break hammer to get screwed over
over what?
the bus off course
That would be a bit too uncomfortable.
just a bit
Do you speak from experience?
titmonger you are annoying.
Pot…meet kettle.
sorry.
I believe that is called a Catch-22 situation.
someone call Milo
He’s too busy buying up Egyptian cotton.
I thought Milo was the purple one from Teletubbies.
Deadlock fail
It reminds me of this chant:
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? …
or in this case:
Break glass for hammer. How to get a hammer? Break the glass…
Dear Liza, dear Liza
Chuck Norris could do it
Chuck Norris’ beard could do it.
*watches how “Madness” gets a round-house kick in the face*
And thats just from the beard
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks with his little finger.
People have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
People WILL die if I keep hearing “Chuck Norris”
The hammer breaks the glass to get a Chuck Norris.
It is just a simple technique to keep Maxwells from getting their hands on a free hammer, shesh!
HAMMMMMEEEEER!!!!!!!
I thought you needed to break the time space continuum in order to get the hammer.
Not Maxwell’s silver hammer.
Since it came down on my head I don’t remember anything.
Paradox win!
Quantum mechanics FTW
Quantum mechanics WTF
*signs* go look up Alan Turing before he starts rotating slowly in his grave.
I didn’t know you are also fluent in ASL!
He’s handy that way.
It’s so difficult to look up to a man who is dead.
What if he’s been hung?
Sorry, my brain is mush right now, that was insensitive of me.
you can look up to me. Im hung….
…like a gnat.
What it means is…
If the bus tips or something you break the glass for the hammer…
The glass for the hammer is extremely weak but you use the hammer to break the glass of the bus itself…
I’m confused.
SO… what he’s saying is busses is England are made of pure glass. The glass box around the hammer is extremely weak, so if the bus tips over and doesn’t break, you break the glass around the hammer, then use the hammer to smash the bus into tiny li’l pieces.
So you have to break* a thin piece of glass? It’s no worse than the thin glass you break to set off a fire alarm. Use your elbow. If you’ve ever been in one of these buses in the early hours of Saturday morning… let’s just say that there’s a reason that the hammer does not come easily to hand.
*yes, BREAK, not BRAKE, people. Just because two words sound the same, they don’t mean the same. If you think English sucks for that reason, be thankful you aren’t learning Japanese, where you might find yourself combing a piece of paper (kami) as you walk across a pair of chopsticks (hashi).
Or you could find yourself worshipping hair. Or ending your sentences with a heaven. And thin glass is still glass. Ever gotten glass splinters in your hand? Or elbow, for that matter? Hurts like a mother.
multiple spelling fails but I don’t care…my head hurts.
It is a polite way of saying mother trucker. *Gives tylenol*
Oh dear, I’m sorry. *offers an Ibuprofen* I just didn’t feel like swearing, so I ended my sentence before that. Perhaps you’re right, I should have said “hurts like a mother (giving birth)”.
What versatile people the Japanese are. Fancy having a word for combing paper.
If you fold the combing paper, does that make it a comb over?
Did you know you can only fold a piece of paper in half 7 times?
Jamie and Adam busted that myth!
We have our own version of mythbusters here and they got a huge sheet of paper and could still only fold it 7 times! Even with the use of a steamroller!
I thought you could fold a piece of paper in half once. Then you’ve got a folded piece of paper…
WE’RE DOOMED.
Well this one is easy. When you need the hammer, the paradox created by the two signs rips a hole in spacetime, clearing a route to safety.
And if not, you can always use the sonic screwdriver.
Alright, Failblog gave us a real challenge today. This is what seperates the men from the boys. This is going to take my brain power. Hmmm.
I’m guessing…..Anubis. With Led Zeppelin. And Set. Let’s throw him in there too. Final answer.
Recursive FAIL
Talk about a catch 22…luckily I happen to carry a spare hammer with me whenever I get on London buses in November.
Catch-22 right there
good old fashion FAIL
The actual height of the Great Root Bear is unknown. It is speculated that he is taller than he appears because he has been known to often stand in small holes or pits. The reason for this is also unknown.
Redundancy pass
The Hammer……. is my penis…..
I took a similar picture on of the Scania “bendy buses” here in Cardiff, but never got around to uploading it. This one came out better anyway.
That’s on a lot of busses in the UK.
Oh no! I’ll need the hammer to brake the glass with the hammer inside of it!O.O!
ratchet and clank going commando, break glass with rock for wrench, break glass with wrench for rock
The hammer is enclosed in a little peice of glass.. thats why you have to break it to get at the hammer.
I don’t get it.
So this is where Ratchet and Clank 2 got it from! Spectre…just noticed you beat me to it, bastard.
well.. the glass that they say to breik for hammer is the one in the red thing… the person who took this foto just wanted it to look like this…
Wth? Paradox Hammer!
its a paradox a bit like a paradox sentence like “the following statement is true, the previous statement is false”