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Cheezburger Network Blog
LAST!
NEXT!
Don’t you mean ‘previous’?
Nothing like being next to last.
Penultimate!
INTERNET!!
NEXT TO LAST!!!!!
next to last?
To think that’s funny?
To be or not to be?
Be to not to or be
To do is to be. Socrates
To be is to do. Jean-Paul Sartre, Plato
To be or not to be. William Shakespeare’s Hamlet
Do-be-do-be-do. Frank Sinatra
engrishfunny.com is that way —–>
Be not to or be to
To be or not to be, that is the question;
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to — ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
Useless trivia:
The title of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country was taken from this Hamlet soliloquy. The character General Chang frequently quotes Shakespeare. He makes references to Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Julius Caesar, The Tempest, and Merchant of Venice. Another character, Martia the shape shifter (played by Iman), references Hamlet also, “I thought I would assume a pleasing shape.” This is close to “The devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape.”
Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of failblog!
…and close up the wall with witless trolls.
Here…Admiral…let me screw your courage to the sticking place…
Out, damned spot!!
Sex me here!!
…Okay, I took a liberty with that one, but I’m sure you understand.
*takes literally*
*starts rubbing and wiping hands vigorously*
make thick my blood, and take my milk for gall, bitch!
*pops popcorn*
(I don’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t talk to her…)
…ing.
(sheesh)
Awww. How ’bout a hug?
*hug*
M’lady may sex me any time she likes. I’m no Dragonwriter, but I like to think I have my own certain charm…
Dagon, you weren’t talking to a herring?
A FAIL by any other name would pwn as sweet…
Failblog looks not with the eyes but with the pun.
He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.
If fail be the food of jest, pun on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
The failblog packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good puns I’ve seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean puns so seldom are comical.
It was just a little death, Marius.
O mighty pun! dost thou lie so low?
Are all thy canards, japes, spoofs, foils,
Shrunk to this little measure?
Puns cause shrinkage? I had no idea.
It’s the cold puns, the most unkindest cut of all.
Cold cuts cause shrinkage??
…Really, I had NO idea!
That’s baloney.
What’s your beef with it?
It’s alllllll about the salami…!
This is going to be the wurst thread ever, isn’t it.
Bologna! The jesting in this thread is a prime rib on the thing, isn’t it?
Andouille want to stop doing that? NO, says I!!
Certainly meats my expectations.
2 b, r nt 2 b dat iz d Q wthr ts noblr n d mnd 2 sufr d slngs & arowz of outrAjs fortn r 2 tAk armz agnst a C f trblz, & by oposn nd em?
this fail is awsome i’m from staten island
Hmmm not surprising coming from Pennsylvania.
…coming from an American
Hey! We elected Obama! You’re all supposed to love us now!
Half of you elected Obama, so we still have a 50% reservation against you people. Yes! “YOU PEOPLE”
It was way less than half in the popular vote, and Obama got more than twice the electoral vote.
Yeah, cuz 52% is “way less than half.”
oh come on … even somalians knew obama will be elected, it was obvious
Quite frankly, the world doesn’t think you’re a genius because you elected Obama.
We just think you’re a little less stupid than we used to
Personally I have virtually no reservations against the North at all, but some people in the South just scare me. (And by the way, that doesn’t mean I instantly hate every southener…)
I will have you know that being from the south, I am not offended. However, there is a higher number of ignorant, racist and/or biased people in NJ and the surrounding states than I ever encountered in the South.
I agree Ryannon. NY is even worse then NJ.
One word: Alaska.
How can everyone go on about how great Obama is? He’s not even in office yet. He hasn’t DONE anything. Let’s wait and see how smart you were for electing him.
You speak for the entire planet me again? Perhaps there was a meeting that I missed.
Beware of overly broad statements.
Well, I’m going to say “ouch” for Somalia…
Tense fail…
Obama’s from Kenya. Geography fail!
Lol Obama ftw
Electoral vote is not indicative of popular vote. In fact, I’ve calculated it out, and one only needs about 32% of the US population to win the presidency (51% of the 11 most populous states to win enough electoral votes).
52% is “way less than half”?
.
Crap, I’m so bad at math. Well, I know that 99% is more than half, does that count?
Obama had 52% of the popular vote. He had 67.78% of the Electoral vote. So he had more then half of the popular vote, and way more then half of the electoral vote.
Its statistically significant
I just accidenty math, what should I do?
Except that Texas almost always goes Republican, while California and New York almost always go Democratic. Plus, it is extremely unlikely that a candidate could get a majority in those most populous states and no votes in the other 39.
It is a necessary evil. Can you imagine the outcry over miscounts and recounts on a national level. It is bad enough on the local level.
um, wrong. Try winning these states:
AL,HI,MT,ND,ID,NV,UT,WY,NM,SD,NE,KS,OK,IA,AR,MS,WV,DE,DC,RI,
CT,ME,NH,VT,KY,SC,CO,LA,AL,OR,AZ,MN,WI,MD,WA,MO,IN,TN,MA,VA,
GA,NC,NJ with 50.1% of their respective populations giving a Electoral vote count of 272 and a popular vote percentage of about… wait for it… 27.5%
How’s that for electoral college fail?
The reason you go for the low states first is to pick up the free *senate points*-two per state
depends how many people vote for a third party…..
Part of the reason it’s set up that way is that there are never only two people running. There were at least three third-party candidates this year.
Nah… you really only need 22 votes. 2 in the 11 most populous states versus 1 each for every other candidate.
He got 52% of the popular vote. That’s more than half!
Yes! It should prove we arent a bunch of war mongering oil addicted hicks, despite what you have seen over the past 8 years.
I take offense to that remark! I’m gonna drive my large V8 across the country and have a duel with you!
I demand satisfaction!
To get satisfaction, you must give satisfaction, so put that plan into action if you want to get some traction from the feminine faction.
Their reaction would be attraction to the point of distraction!
Sweetie…you’re responding to yourself again.
*grin*
Today I wish to talk about schizophrenia.
No you don’t!
I DO TOO!!!
Today, I wish to talk about lame attempts at jokes.
…
Yes, I really do.
Now now Shadow. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Someday you’ll say something funny. Maybe.
Yes… someday…
*looks wistfully off into the distance*
Smells like self abuse.
Humbug! I’m underappreciated in my own time, I tell ya!
i should have had a V8 too
Drill, baby, drill!
That’s what she said.
Glove slap, baby, glove slap!
Glove slap, I don’t take crap!
I sense a Rolling Stones moment approaching…
I sense a Rolling Stones moment approaching…
Who let Zell Miller jump into this discussion???
ill come!
wee!
BATTLE ROYALE
LOL Win
god, I hope you’re an Obama voter who just like making funny jokes..
)
It was funny though!
Pick me up on the way.
the sad thing is, 46.2% of y’all are, and yet even that means the 52.5% of voters who voted for obama secured a 2:1 electoral college vote win… doesnt that make perfect sense??
please rephrase, not surprising coming from Philly, that wasy yo offend less people
Wasn’t it silly, not to say Philly?
woah, major typo. I must be Pennsylvanian…I am
Sorry, first illiterate I ever met was in the Philly area. Coming from the south, that is very surprising. You would think I had met several while at college in KY.
Judging by the zip code, it’s probably a Penn student.
Go figure?!?
P.S. Don’t knock Philly yo.
Almost certainly a dipshit Penn student — though it’s puzzling that the envelope is addressed to a Staten Island address. Have any Penn students ever set foot in Staten Island, except to run the New York Marathon?
It’s even more probably a Drexel student.
Normally in college KY is in you.
That has to be the best “Soviet Russia” joke I’ve heard in ages!
Also, in regards to the picture….wouldn’t the added weight of the change actually make the postage cost more?
Yes, that many coins would’ve brought it up to about two or three ounces, costing approx. 43 – 47 cents.
Plus, if you look at the picture that proves his girlfriend “actually got it”, it has Return for postage stamped on it.
My guess is that it came back to him RTS, then he sent it to her priority, having torn the five cent tip off himself
LOL
Hey, Ryannon. University of Kentucky? That’s my alma mater, but I suspect you were probably still in diapers when I graduated.
Murray State and I look younger than I am. I am old enough to be getting excited that my son is coming home from Iraq for Christmas.
yay.
Heres hoping he (and all the men and women serving their country) stays safe.
Hear, hear.
Amen
And may he never have to go back.
That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you.
Next Christmas may there be no soldiers in Iraq to come home.
I’d like to thank you and your son for the sacrifices both of you have made serving the US.
You have my deepest sympathy.
AGREED, BUT THEN WHEN YOU’RE IN NEW JERSEY IT’S EVEN LESS SURPRISING..
That used to be a quite normal thing, it’s really not all that odd for someone to do that.
So I have to ask, what part of the country are you from where this is common practice? And how’s the banjo playing there?
Damnit! Stop with the Deliverance references allready!!! I’m going to have nightmares!
Ok, I think I’m calm now.
…squeel like a piggy!
You got purty lips.
I think it goes “You shore do hava purty mouth”, not that the movie scarred me or anything.
“Aintree? This river don’t go to Aintree. You boys is lost.” I’ve lived in the Deep South all my life and that movie still freaks me out.
Hee! Hee! I watched this movie with some friends the night before we took a canoe trip on the upper Hudson. (The trip turned into a 26 hour disaster and the movie was fresh on our minds.)
Did it result in two soggy holes?
Our guide took off on us. Out of 34 canoes only eight made it back. Still can not believe no one was seriously hurt. We had volunteers (me) walk though the woods to find a road and hitch back to camp to get help.
I watched it the night before a mandatory school camping trip. That involved canoes. My father was the teacher. He made me watch the damned movie.
Your father truly is diabolical, isn’t he??
Is that where you got your sense of humour?
HEE! HEE!
How’s your rectum?
Lol, this cracked me up ’cause any time I think of Deliverance, I actually think of PA. I only lived there for about a year (I went to Penn State for a year, then couldn’t afford the tuition and had to come back home to TX) and the area in which my sister and I lived was most definitely Deliverance country.
My client has stores out in the Wilkes Barre/Scranton area and on the rare occasion I had to go out there, I felt like I was in Deliverance. I was more scared there than I was when I got lost in East Orange, NJ, our own little version of Compton.
So beacuse I know history I’m somehow from some redneck middle-of-nowhere town? This was most likely an older person that did this because it used to be common especially in rural places. I’d say even 25 years people did this and it was “acceptable”.
I’m from a rural place, and we used to stick money in the mailbox for the mail-lady when we didn’t have stamps.
Although, we never offered a 5cent tip…
Hi, you must be new here. Allow me to explain. This is failblog, You can choose to remain silent. But remember anything you say can and probably will be held against you. Unlike the law, where you will be provided representation, should you not be able to defend yourself, we will continue to burn you. Should you make friends (unlikely in most cases) they are allowed to defend you, but doing so opens them up to our derision.
Thank you and have a nice day.
Bah! Ignore her! She knows not of what she speaks! ;>) (Just kidding… I have the utmost respect for Avis… *Dons asbestos long-johns just in case*)
*arches one eyebrow in amusement*
*eyes Odo speculatively*
Pants on fire?
Why else would one need asbestos long johns?
You’ve obviously never been flamed.
Yet.
I just wear a fire proof cup. I only need to protect the important bits.
A pristine wang attached to a charred corpse. Let me know how that works out for you.
Ya gotta keep the ladies happy.
The blind ones, at least?
As long as they’re interested in what I want them to be interested in.
Besides, it’d also allow me to get rid of my chest hair.
I’m guessing “your brain” doesn’t make that list, huh?
It’s all in the cup!
It’s a man thing.
nice
So…
Anything I say can and probably will be held against me, eh?
Deep breath….
.
.
.
“Boobies!”
I said “PROBABLY”. Not “ACTUALLY”.
Darn.
But you never know what will happen unless you yell boobies out in a big crowd.
That depends on the crowd. I would not recommend this course of action at … say… Lilith Fair. Unless you LIKE the idea of castration.
I’ll just blame it on my girlfriend.
Wait, where’d she go?
To get the knife?
Nah, she knows I like to collect and carry pocket knives, sharp ones too.
Then she won’t have to go very far to get one, now will she?
Dude. One word of advice: RUN!
But, if she’s gone, then she’s not going for my knives… Right?
Right?!
Right, because your knives are the only knives in existence. Chefs are lining up to use your knives as we blog.
Maybe not the ones you carry with you. But there are others, yes?
Thank you all! I needed a good belly laugh today!
Of course Chefs are lining up to use my knives, they’re awesome!
I doubt my girl would do that, there’s a 50% chance that she’d be the one to yell out “boobies!”
We are a strange couple…
Snips work well too. Let her know she can borrow mine.
Hedging shears are handy if the undergrowth is thick!
Er. . .um. . .Doc would you mind not helping?
LOL! A NOW convention would probably have similar results.
Avis, you forgot to mention that any comment made may be twisted all to buggery and then used to beat the respondent over the head for many fails to come!
I’d say even 25 people years acceptable did this and were happy!
Well, yes I did, but that’s what I meant by “held against you”. I was vague on purpose. That way it can be interpreted many ways.
Long may you ‘hold it against me’
> anything you say can and probably will be held against you
tits
Actually, Nick is right…mailboxes used to have little coin boxes inside of them, where you could leave change to either buy stamps or pay for postage on outgoing mail. I gather that most of you aren’t old enough to remember this.
I think this piece was accidentally run through the machine sort, and the real reason the 5c is missing is because it jammed the machine and tore the envelope.
USPS delivers!
that is one slack bastard
racist
racist
basist
fascist
Face-ist?
Rapist?
Face-lift?
Fork-lift?
salad?
That’s a huge salad if it requires a fork lift.
or a huge hand
How do you know you’re fat?
When you take the term “fork-lift” by it’s literal meaning.
How do you know when you’re fat?
When the only exercise you do is the “fork lift”.
When it takes a fork lift to lift you.
With which you would do what…?
Or a small fork.
facebook
In 200 years people will kill for this unique stamp.
I wonder if the mailperson was offended. Five cents for his/her trouble? A lick alone is worth $20, at least that is what I charge.
$20, same as in town?
Do you visit the West Coast?
She doesn’t have time to buy a plane ticket so she’s gathering up loose change to tape to the fusilage. Don’t wait up.
lol that was my thoght–what a crappy tip O_O
In the United States they will kill for it in just two years, thanks to our president-elect.
Mr. Gladiator, what you’ve just typed is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
You have obviously not read the Wall Street Journal lately (they ran at least one article concerning his taxes and the effective marginal rate), nor heard about the Allard Amendment which recently ran its way through the Senate to test the waters for Obama’s spending and tax plans. So, it is YOU who deserves no points, and may God have mercy upon YOUR soul.
Juses, you are such an idiot.
*Leans in close and whispers Republic. . .Republic*
*Hands Glad a bodkin*
I find Bodkins rather Odd.
*hugs raelalt*
You and everyone else (including you Glad) have a great weekend. I am off now, tomorrow I have dancing lessons and then I get to watch my son play football on internet TV.
Obama’s spending.
.
I never understood the reactionary viewpoint that the Democrats are going to drive us into bankruptcy due to their spending. Let’s see. Ronald Reagan (the darling of the Right) created the biggest deficit up until that time, yet all the cons think he was some financial genius. WTF?
.
It wasn’t until the Clinton admin that we got financially healthy again, and then what happened? Do I need to tell you (*ponders Glad’s perceptive abilities*), whoops guess it do. Dubya happened, and now we have dug ourselves an even bigger hole.
.
The Wall Street Journal? shit of course they are going to say that. Their
main (read: “only”) concern is for corporate America and the individual be damned.
Here’s what happened.
Under Reagan, the deficit ballooned, it’s true. It was, however, a necessary evil. Programs like the SDI bankrupted the Soviet Union, undeniably an evil regime. Reagan himself felt horribly for it.
Remember, Clinton only got a surplus by shutting down the whole national government for a day.
It’s not Bush’s fault that the economy is so bad. It’s the Clinton administration forcing banks to give home loans to deadbeats who couldn’t afford it. It’s the 4% of people who defaulted that began to cause this whole big economic problem we’re having now, all because we were supposed to feel sorry for a bunch of lazy idiots who wanted to have life handed them on a silver platter.
I should clarify. SDI and similar programs bankrupted the already overstressed Soviet economy because the Soviets did not wish to fall behind in the arms race. In spending money they did not have for their programs, the USSR simply could not stand up to the forces of economics. We weren’t vaporizing their rubles from space with lasers (humor FAIL).
*laughs until tears run down face, clutching at sides*
Really. You are the best entertainment around here, on Failblog.
So as long as it is for questionable National Defense (BTW: The USSR’s threat by that time was severely overestimated) bankruptcy is an acceptable option. Reagan and Dubya are in agreement there.
.
Our current national economic crisis can be traced directly back to the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, which removed the firewalls between commercial banks and investment institutions. Gramm, Leach, Bliley? All republicans, McCain? Voted for it.
So? It’s bad loans that drove us into the ground. Bleeding-heart liberals, anyone? Homes for everybody, even if they can’t afford it?
YES!!!!!
But then, some of us think people are more important than money.
You want to be lazy and homeless, fine. You want a house, you get out and EARN YOUR KEEP. This is America.
I’ll bet you ten bucks that you consider yourself a Christian. Or a member of some form of popular organized religion.
I don’t gamble. And you’re right.
Heeee, gladiator IS good entertainment. He’s the only republican we have around here to prove wrong.
No. We have the trolls.
Blech! I’m sorry selective reasoning always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
So when logic kicks your ass you break out the mindless rhetoric?
No.
I forgot: The initiatives were expressly put into place to make the USSR have to compete with us. Of course they were weak. We just wanted to make them weaker.
Pointless.
Not really. We just spent them into oblivion.
Keep it going Gladiator 763 (may I call you Glad). The world needs more village idiots and you are Failblogs.
*sneaks in an apostrophe*
Glad to be of service.
How is a woman like a stamp?
You got to lick her until she gets sticky.
Now that is just gross. Kudos!
5 cents for your troubles? Like accepting a 5 cent bribe for delivering mail without sufficient postage troubles? Like Felony troubles?
Would have been sufficient postage if the 5 cents wasn’t used as a tip?
if i remember the website this comes from properly, they letter did, infact, arrive at its destination…with postage…minus the tip and a little extra.
I’ll warm up the chair ready.
I’ve already notified the F.B.I. Efrem Zimbalist Jr. is on his way.
Did the letter get sent? If so it is not FAIL but SUCCESS!
Yes. Indeed.
MASSIVE FAIL!
Nope, check the comments below.
MASSIVE ASSUMPTION FAIL!
Did it work?
actually yes. I read the article this was from. The guy wanted to test and see if it would work. The letter arrived to his gf, but with the bottom corner ripped off for the nickle tip. It came inside another envelope saying “sorry it got ripped” from the postal service.
So, total non-fail, then. Heh. Cool.
Agreed. Not a fail. I’ve heard of this. It works in some places, not in others. Sometimes just depends on the mailperson.
If you have the link to that article, I’d love to read it.
http://monkeyfaq.com/mail/index.html
Also: It’s even more win that they didn’t take the coins meaning free service!
hmm…seems as though the price of the extra envelope would have been enough to negate the five cent tip…
besides the fact that the postal service person was desperate enough for that nickel?
so this fail occurred when postage was 39 cents.. anyone want to bother to look up the timeframe on that?
man, 24 is really stretching to get new plots.
That was how they tried to send Jack some money so he could escape when the Chinese were holding him…they were wise to the scheme.
(By the way, ghehorg…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
My day really sucked until I read that.)
5rd ha, what a moron
Won’t the weight of the money drive up the postage, thus the amount is now insufficient?
lol, and she can only avoid that by taping on a $1 bill
I thought of that, but then she’d be overpaying. And I’m guessing these people don’t have money to waste.
Money isn’t an issue, it’s time for her. She just doesn’t have enough time in the day to lick a stamp.
They make self-licking stamps now.
That takes all the fun out.
But it saves you from the Calories…well, the one-tenth of a Calorie.
They make double-posting comments now.
Anything worth licking once…
*perk!*
*drip*
*wipe* Oh, wait, I don’t have a paper towel…
No, they don’t make “self licking” stamps. They make self sticking stamps. The stamps do not lick themselves. This comment is a FAIL.
They make self-licking stamps now.
I thought only monkeys could do that.
You haven’t met my cat then.
Or my brother.
I’ve met him. He’s quite the cat.
(Ditto)
I’ve heard he can lick his eyebrows.
He could go blind doing that!
Now if they can just perfect that self-flinging poo…..
Yet she does have that extra five cents to waste.
I was going to say something similar. It would have been two sides of the same coin, perhaps.
Oh, you’re good…
You have NO idea…
Hes just puting is two cents in
Well, isn’t he as bright as a new penny.
he won’t nickle & dime you
now that’s *change* I can believe in (sorry!)
I wonder what he’ll change next quarter?
I think you are all loonie.
I’m sorry, but none of this makes cents to me.
I’ve been waiting for someone to make this joke ever since I saw Obama’s slogan
If I had a nickle for every time I heard that one
Well, blimey!
The best part is that the post office delivered it without taking the money off the envelope.
this was never delivered. in fact, it was never processed. They put an ink stamp over the postage stamp when they process mail.
it was probably someone in the post office who took the pic.
But there is no postage stamp to cancel. Are you saying the post office would have canceled the transparent tape?
They most likely took a picture of it and then sent it back to the return address with the note “FAIL” attached to it.
Perhaps the person in Philadelphia was the intended recipient all along?
Ooh, that’s post-itively diabolical.
Is it safe to assume you put your stamp of approval on his comment?
It was all in his delivery.
His mode of address is particularly wonderful.
hmm, good point. they would have to put it in a new envelope, re address is, and then do the whole postage thing. wow, way too much work. I really wonder what they would do in this situation.
I’ve seen this before, on the actual website of the guy who sent it, and he reported that it arrived at his friend’s house with the money still attached, except for the “five cents for your trouble” which had been removed.
Shouldn’t they have taken the money as payment for the delivery of the letter?
Not enough time to buy a stamp? What is in there that Sabrina needs in such a hurry – a kidney?
Sabrina might be having problems with her pecuniary gland.
It seems to be some kind of econocrine imbalance.
She’s on anti-bank-otics.
You should take your savings & loan her some money for the doctor.
at least he/she had enough time to put all the coins heads up. i wonder if there is a check in the envelope…??
a nickle for their trouble?
she shouldnt have
HAHAHAHAHA. yeah she sould of.
should have, that’s ok, a common misconception. should’ve is a compound word
Is that abbreviated “Compound W?”
mmm, wart remover? *prepares for self fail* *is only joking,btw* got to add that to the grocery list
if she was in such a hurry, how did she find time to tape all that on there?
It was probably more of an ‘Oh, crap, I don’t have any stamps or any time to stop and get any on my way to work – but! – I *DO* have 39 cents and some tape!’ type of hurry than an ‘I don’t have the time to sit here and lick a stamp then attach it to an envelope – but! – I *DO* have the time to hunt down 39 cents in change (plus tip!), attach it to an envelope and then write out my apologies on said envelope just for the hell of it’ kind of hurry.
They are two very different, but easily confused, kinds of hurry. Trust me – I’ve done extensive research!
This is a time saver and so it is a WIN
It’s not really a time saver when it doesn’t work.
it is when it does
This coin’t be real can it?
DollARE you kidding me?
Non-cents ! Why would I do that?
Euro being silly.
It won’t dough you any good now to peso me off.
I’m just a sucre for puns.
Rial-ly silly!
I dinar say it wasn’t.
Don’t nickel and dime me.
How many more puns can we Pound out?
I can go on till the yen-d of the world
I kronar take it any more!
Oh, I know Yuan more!
Lira! Or will you ruble one more out?
I think we should cut it short, lets be franc. We’ve posted yen of these already.
Stop Shekel-ing us!
Do you feel rand-y?
Yeah! You can deutschemark my words, we will continue our pun runs for as long as we see fit!
*toasts with a krona light and a wedge of lime*
but centimes wont nest below this level…
What a bunch of rubels
I’m laughing so hard! Quid it!
She had to get the meat defrosting for dinar.
Give her a break!
You are all a bunch of Loonies!
Nah! We’re just Buck-ing the system.
brb, i have to take a p
I am glad to see everyone cashed in on these pun runs.
I’m just such a sucre for puns.
It’s 100% real. I know the guy.
Which guy? The one who taped the coins? The one who received the letter? The post man who stole the letter to take a picture of it?
No, he means the Guy. Cousin of the Dude. Unrelated to the Man, who is trying to keep them both down.
As opposed to the conspiratorial blue eyed white devil.
The person that sent the letter.
Was that in dispute?
No. It was in Pennsylvania.
Oh, and to add, it worked. And the USPS didn’t take the money, but they did take the tip.
Exactly. This is a postage WIN.
It’s funny but alot of ppl used to do that, especially in rural areas. My grandmother would do it because the mail carrier would carry stamps and just swap them out. Of course, back then you didn’t need a pound of coins to buy a stamp.
i did it, when stamps were a quarter
Hahaha! Awesome!!
Interestingly enough, there was a time (and I remember doing this quite often) when I could put an unstamped letter in my mailbox along with cash to pay for a stamp (I didn’t tape it to the envelope, obviously; i just put it in the mailbox with the letter along with a note to the postman). The postman would stamp the letter for me and, if I was owed change, would leave change in the mailbox.
yeah, it’s true, my mom does that sometimes
I still occasionally do this.
I remember someone telling me that you could put an unstamped letter with the address of the recipient in the sender’s position in your mailbox and the post man would return it to the sender, sending it to the recipient for free by doing so.
How deliciously devious!
Some random guy once sent my dad a chain letter this way. Enough friends fail.
It seems like this would only work if you’re in the same zip code. Still, a clever idea.
ingenious, i never thought of that
I think thats how the Unibomber got caught.
I remember something about the Unibomber doing this and it led to his capture
Yup, you can do this if you are on a rural route. (I was a rural carrier for about ten minutes.) I don’t think it should have worked in the city, though–the idea (about fifty years out of date) is that rural carriers are supposed to be a post office on wheels. If you live in the city, you’re expected to be able to get your ass to the post office and buy your own goddamn stamps.
Whoever did this probably voted for Obama.
In rebuttal, I would just like to say:
Niener niener niener. Nanny nanny bobo.
That is all.
*golf clap*
Woot!
I would like to add…. Pppppllllbbbbttttt!
It helps if you include a :Þ~~~~
Please accept my *levo medius digitus* as well.
You know what, you’re probably right. After all, it doesn’t take a genius to see that he was the better choice.
PS:
Oh, you’re good.
Yes, well played.
I mailed a letter once.
That’s impressive! Later, did your mother hold your hand as she walked you to Kindergarten?
oh so close, but not quite the right burn there. my mom held my hand when she walked me to kindergarten 20 years ago. You might ask if his mother held his hand on the way to the mail box after she escorted him up from the basement of her house where he has lived for that last 10 years since dropping out of college….. just a suggestion
Let’s not forget the real hero here. Scotch Tape WIN!
He’s a sticky old gentleman.
LOL only in philly!
I will lol anywhere I want.
ph!4|
Spelling ph4!1, post office win!
After all, with the incoming depression, some day soon, 5 cents will buy a car!
Similar situation
My GF works for the state billing dept, they sent a bill for $0.14. When the person called in to ask if they really had to pay it she said no, printed out the statement, taped 14 pennies to it in a smiley face and sent it down to the receiving office. It actually pissed them off cause the law says they had to make a bank deposit for the 14 cents.
Just another note from someone who used to do this too. I wasn’t even in a rural area, I was in a NYC suburb and when I wanted to mail letters when I was a kid (not that long ago – maybe 1991 the last time I did it), if my mom didn’t have a stamp for me to mail my letter right away, we would tape the appropriate amount on in coins and [I assume] the mailman would replace them with a stamp.
He never said anything about it to us and my friends got their letters or I got whatever little things I was sending away for.
I remember doing this as a kid, too. I only ever did it, maybe, a grand total of five or six times, but it always worked. It’s a more cumbersome way of doing it, but you *are* still paying for the postage, so they (last I checked anyway) still have to accept the letter.
Stamps are currency. You can use stamps instead of coins or bills to pay for things — they must be accepted as currency, by law. And, it works both ways. So this is not really a FAIL.
Except that, wouldn’t the coins add weight to the envelope, thus increasing the postage cost?
presumably the coins are removed before it’s weighed.
Really? Seriously, I had no idea.
But I suspect the postal workers I deal with would be completely annoyed if I handed them an envelope like this.
I’d like to see you go buy a pop with stamps.
I was a postal carrier at one point in time- The carrier should accept this as a form of payment. The carrier will take the letter and buy a stamp with your money. If they refuse they are just lazy.
senseless cents fail…
At least she didn’t fold the coins!
lol, i live in Philadelphia PA too…
Well you know, coming from Pennsylvania, I take offense….. no actually I don’t because it’s true, well at least true for Philly, which Is why I live up north
I would have totally paid in pennies…
lol i dont think it works that way, also i like the 5 cents for your troubles
I heard that had actually went through the mail and end up at its destination with only the nickel gone.
I don’t know why this is a “fail”. It’s not like there is anyplace where one can go to buy a stamp for a letter to be sent the same day.
There’s plenty of places to buy stamps..it isn’t that hard. Post offices have self-service machines full of stamps. You can buy them from Walgreens, hell you can even buy them from a Commerce Bank (oops I mean TD Bank) atm machine.
This isn’t a fail. The only fail here is that you guys think it’s a fail. How are you people on the internet and NOT know about this? It was an experiment to see if it would work, and it did in theory. One of the post workers took the tip (the nickle) by ripping it off the envelope. Since the envelope was ripped by someone working at the post office it was sent on for free with a sticker that said “we are sorry for the damage to this package, as an apology this has been sent on free of charge”.
You guys fail at not keeping up with the times on the internet. =\ Besides, this is OLD.
Well, that’s one way to put “Cash on delivery”.
Two things. 1. In most places you can leave the money for postage in your mailbox with a note and they will place stamps on it for you. 2. The letter was received in a “new” envelope because the initial envelope was DAMAGED during processing, not because the person took the tip. Mail slides through a machine that scans the numbers in the addresses and imprints routing codes on the bottom. The nickel this jack ass taped to it, got caught in the machine subsequently tearing the envelope. Anyone who believes that someone would take the nickel for a tip off an envelope fails at life.
Hah. This site FAILs because it removes comments about the fakes that appear here.
AHAHAHAHA! this will NEVER work in Germany…..But I´ll do a try, I guess x´D
That’s addressed to my Staten Island zip code.
wouldn’t it be a win since the postal service let it through, as absurd as it looked?
That’s really funny. They went through all that trouble and didn’t even take the money! Just the tip! That’s great. Thanks for posting the story. We had a good laugh, my family and I.
It’s fake though
LOL that’s my zip code, 10306.
fail.
I think the “5 cents for your troubles” was the part that made me laugh
The post office uses machines to read the sender information on letters. That is what that printed strip is across the bottom of your average letter, bill etc.
What looks to have happend is that the nickle got caught in the machine and ripped off. A postal staffer then sealed the letter in one of their return envelopes and sent it to the address.
Notice in how the picture that the front of the bigger envelope was blurred out? I believe that the letter was sent postage due.
Ha! if you look at the follow up site, they have a close-up of the envelope that even has a stamp next to the change “Returned for postage”
How can it be that no one sees the real fail here is on the person that taped the coins to the envelope?! Of course there a millions of letters that get handled every day. This just went into the sorting machine with everything else, the scanner sucked the nickel in and probably shut down the whole line for 20 minutes. Yes, in a rural area, you can make friends with the mail person and put some cash in the mailbox and they’ll stamp it for you. Don’t be a failing idiot and drop it off at the post office 5 feet away from the Coin operated vending machine that sells stamps!!! The only point you prove is that you have no respect for others. FAIL!
It’s more of a fail, because when you read the guy’s story, he has only blanked his girlfriend’s address out, his own return address is clearly visible
…Hopefully I’m not the only person that realizes that the government failed to receive full funding for sending the envelope… Just the person who ripped off the five cents. So LOL FAIL @ the government for being stupid.
thats quite sweet actually
at least they’re paying, and giving a tip
i think they should let it be posted XD
this is a win! she got the letter
What I wonder – If you put the address that you want it to go to in the return address spot, and don’t put any postage on it, will it be sent to the return address, therefore getting to where you want it to go without paying postage for it?
To Iyla. Yay DREXEL!!!!!
Ahahaha! Epic!
cute. if a child did this.
haha, and ‘5 cents for your trouble’
I’d call this a win
Haha typicql staten islanders.
I get that it was an experiment to see if it would work, and I’ve often wondered things like this. Of course, calling the postmaster would’ve been easier. I thought the tip thing was cute but unfortunately, the sorting machines don’t care for things being placed like that, and so it got snagged and torn (look at the direction of the tear or ask your local carrier if you don’t believe me). Of course the fact that he mailed it from the post office, he fails with the “no time” comment as there is a stamp vending machine within a few feet of him. They only forwarded it because they’d rather get the letter to where it’s supposed to go and eat the cost than to send it back and possibly piss of a customer. The post office is still the cheapest way to send a letter and has gotten even better since all the new machines were put in place. Oh, and they did mess something else up…if you’re going to tape the money in place, don’t tape it with packing tape, and don’t tape it in a way that makes them have to destroy the envelope to get it off! The weight of the letter is the weight you put in the box and so they’d need to pay for an extra ounce no matter what 8o).
As for the person who talked about him blotting out his girlfriend’s name, etc., you’re an idiot, or brand new to this site.
As for the person saying they “have” to accept the letter with the money on it, you fail too. The Post office can refuse to send anything they want for any reason they want. Of course they don’t so as not to piss people off, but the PO is a privilege, not a right.
If you read the story its too bad that they are lying. The writer said that it was delivered but if you look on the envelope in the closeup it says returned for postage.
Justin- Yes, I noticed that, as well.
There’s a big fat stamp on it that says ‘returned for postage’.
Um, I live in rural Georgia, and when my grandmother doesnt have stamps, she puts change in the mailbox and the mailman just buys the stamp when he/she gets there.
so this is nothing new to me.
By the way, Obama gave a press conference today. Before he began, the stock market was up about 170 or so. Then he started talking. 22 minutes of talking. Guess what the market did? It went into the red. Only after he got off did the market finish up for the day.