“And as you can see Jan, we’ve got clear weather through the rest of the week with mild temperatures, and then partly cloudy with a chance of death on Saturday. Now back to you.”
i have a stinkin’ account but it wont let me post with it! what do i do? I WILL DO ANY THING TO KNOW PLZ!I WILLBE ON ANNOYING PEOPLE UNTIL I NO THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!^@*!PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ
It seems to me that the sun will get a little too close to earth that day until it decides to let the moon take over and cool us all down. Don’t forget sunscreen!
It’s all because of that extra hour of daylight the government give us. It’s all building up. But fear not, I have a solution for the rising sea-level… it involves a bucket.
On Saturday, we can look forward to complete annihilation with daytime temperatures reaching far into the thousands. Things will cool down drastically after sunset, with a nighttime low of 42 degrees. Back to you Tom.
Notice how Saturday is red, not like those green weekdays. Obviously, after an Irish week, Milwaukee can look forward to a Communist weekend. Those found not mindlessly enjoying being instantly vaporised will be sent to the Gulags, where they will not exist, have never existed, and will never exist. Those found realizing that the prisoners existed will be sent to the Gulags and cease existing.
Ooooh, like that one night in Vegas when you bought that drink for me, and I woke up to the sound of the Feds breaking down the door, the fat Elvis impersonator, the midget transvestite stripper and the goats, and you were leaving out the window with the cameras and the duffel bag of sex toys and pills
*never, ever parties with you….again*
True, they could drop their own pants on the charcoal to light it.
Then I would expect them to be desperately busy humping the ice machine to get some relief.
We can expect temperatures in the upper 50s through Friday! Saturday calls for thermonuclear annihilation with a 10% chance of survival. Back to you, Tom!
I was thinking something more like a freakish, unmatched creepy disaster of a plastic face that should never be allowed in public again for fear of permanently scarring the children of the world.
Is she the one who has had so much plastic surgery that her eyes are on the sides of her head now? And she can hike up her stockings by raising her eyebrows? She kinda scares me.
» Beep, Beep Beep
Weather Alert: Saturday highs are expected to reach into the thermonuclear range, with lows around 42. Avoid prolonged exposure to the sun during peak periods, and protect pets and small children. The elderly are advised to remain indoors, as limited exposure may turn them to dust.
Stay tuned to the Weather Channel for updates.
LOL, just look at it as an opportunity to rid the planet of all the trolls… I propose a troll convention be held this Saturday in Milwaukee. Spread the word!
‘Looks like a rough weekend, Dave..’
‘That’s right Phil. As you can see, on Saturday Milwaukee will be descending to the eight level of hell’
‘Better make sure to keep the kids away from the lava pits, Dave’
You have it all wrong. The incredible heat is because of daylight savings time. The extra hour that we have forced the sun to shine upon us with our mystical synchronized clock-changing ceremony is going to cause drought and make all the Earth’s water evaporate into nowhere *instead of clouds, causing precipitation later* and we will all DIE. *mutter something about stupid Benjamin Franklin and his evil sun-controlling daylight savings time conspiracy*
But wait, daylight savings is over. Things should be cooling down, not heating up. Unless, we kept the extra hour and just moved everything back. Those bastards! First the rainbows, now this.
Apropos of nothing, it’s raining here. And there have been 3 accidents so far today, 2 of them in the past hour. All in the same place, right outside my window.
Coyote, I promise to stay inside tonight.
Dear Milwaukee,
We’re awfully sorry. We went back and re-read the Bible. It turns out that banning, not allowing, gay marriage was the trigger for the Apocalypse. As you can imagine, we’re quite embarassed! Turns out that instead of preventing the Apocalypse, we ensured its coming! Prop 8 was just the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. Now, you may be wondering why you’re getting it first. Well, it turns out God hates Wisconsin. It should come as no surprise, though, seeing how the word SIN is in your state’s name!
Anyway, sorry about bringing the Lord’s wrath down upon you and all. Hope the fire and brimstone doesn’t put too much of a damper on your weekend.
Global warming?
Al Gore was right! On Noes. Manbearpig is going to attack us next
Al Gore was right on noes?
And I just realized they have a nice SUV ad next to the weather post. Man I need some coffee
the Chevy FAIL drive
“And as you can see Jan, we’ve got clear weather through the rest of the week with mild temperatures, and then partly cloudy with a chance of death on Saturday. Now back to you.”
Oh, crap! It’s Saturday today!
*FWOOOOM!*
Yes it is!!!!!! Why isn’t the snow melting? Hmmm….
DON’T YOU MUFF ME BOY
I told you it was real!
i have a stinkin’ account but it wont let me post with it! what do i do? I WILL DO ANY THING TO KNOW PLZ!I WILLBE ON ANNOYING PEOPLE UNTIL I NO THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!^@*!PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ
Spelling and grammar fail of epic proportions.
Highs of 5660° are slightly beyond inconvenient.
At least the low is only 42 >>
partly cloudy, with the chance of raining brimstone
Those who did vaporize during the day, will enjoy a cool evening.
Saturday night, all those who once dreamed of being precipitation will finally realize their wish in Milwaukee. America really is a melting pot.
I think I’ll sleep in on Saturday. Need to stop by Bed Bath and Beyond to pick up my asbestos sheets.
hmmm… anyone else see it said “partly cloudy”
Dammit, we never get a nice Saturday for cricket.
Sorry, all the crickets were fried by mid-morning when the temperature topped 4000.
I bet all the roaches survived.
You mean they have to drop ANOTHER ONE!?
I bet Keith Richards did too
He’ll have plenty of ashes to snort on Sunday.
And Ozzy Osbourne
Did anyone else realize that the Wednesday forecast picture looks like a whale peeing? No? Just me? Damn.
and all the twinkies
I’m pretty sure Stryder meant the sport cricket, not the insect cricket…
they tasted good tho
It seems to me that the sun will get a little too close to earth that day until it decides to let the moon take over and cool us all down. Don’t forget sunscreen!
True…
Inconvenient truth! But just slightly! Global Warming will kill us!!!11111oneeleven11!!!!!1
but 5660°, even in Fahrenheit, are little bit too high
It’s all because of that extra hour of daylight the government give us. It’s all building up. But fear not, I have a solution for the rising sea-level… it involves a bucket.
*whoosh*
There went some understandability, into your window.
It’s a little early for cognizant thought, dear Loz, forgive them for their ignorance.
*hugs*
Watch out for the rainbows.
…and the jackhammers.
… and unicorns.
And the pixies, they get their dust everywhere.
**looks up from toilet seat with straw still in nose** pixie dust? sh*t….
You forgot to mention the superheated plasma bolts.
don’t forget the high-energy pellets, which become agitated by flashing hazard lights.
and leprachauns…
YOU be stealin’ me bukkit! WAI????
tying into another fail = win!
I hope that isn’t the “test” Joe Biden warned us about…
We’re all dead on Saturday.
How is this a fail? It’s well known that Saturday is the day when the world is going to be incinerated.
Seriously, though, this is one of my favorite fails of all time. I lol’d!
HOLY SHIT!!!
more like global BURNING!
Burning . . . more like vitrification.
Partly cloudy MY ASS!
crapadelic
Poopalicious.
you got it.
crapola, too
shitastic
fecetious
LOL.
Saturday is going to be HELLISH!
Brownish.
I already paid for my dirty sins on the Spankme building, so I would expect to be spared of the Milwaukee Judgment Day
Oo, I grew up in Milwaukee. Um…looks like things have changed a bit since I left.
The Brewers making the playoffs apparently signalled the apocalypse.
Repent all you Milwaukee sinners, end of the world is coming (on Saturday, to be more precise).
The Apocalypse, tonight at 11
Judgement Day / Armageddon WIN
Be sure to tune in as we cover the arrival of the seven horsemen. Back to you, Tom.
I thought there were only four. Will they be bringing friends?
Opps, I accidentally three horsemen.
What should you do?
use an action verb.
dang, i was gonna say that!
those are their stunt men
Understudies.
Caddies. “I think I’ll try the number 9 Ebola on this shot…”
May I recommend the SARS wedge from the bunker?
How about Sarah Palin, Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson? Or are they just signs of the apocalypse and not full pledged horsemen?
Try the Anthrax driver. It’s particularly good on a Saturday end-of-the-world hole in one.
no soggy holes when the temperature is in the thousands
I hope that motel hasnt had its weekly rape yet.
If they did I have to tresspass before saturday
Looks like I’ll have to unpack my summer clothes, dangit.
Not sure of what material your summer clothes are made.
For your reference, titanium melting point is 3034 °F
But can we wear white?
Briefly.
… and tightly and whitely
before it spontaneously combusts
with the force, yes
I already have a tungsten outfit in case global warming took off in a big way.
You can’t wear tungsten after Labor Day.
Now you tell me. Here I am ready with my little black tungsten dress and my six inch heels. So what the height of fashion when the weather warms up?
Can’t go wrong,
with a thong.
Unless it’s a chocolate thong. It will melt on warm days.
I’m sayin’…
I’m still stuck on Dr. Hugh in a dress
… and plenty of air circulation. Why didn’t I think of that. Thanks Mookie.
Don’t forget to wax your ass, tho.
to prevent swamp-ass?
Play grab-ass?
“That’s hawt !”
thank you.
I think you owe Paris Hilton a royalty check.
I’ll check her for royalty. Paris: ‘does this include a cavity check?’
On Saturday, we can look forward to complete annihilation with daytime temperatures reaching far into the thousands. Things will cool down drastically after sunset, with a nighttime low of 42 degrees. Back to you Tom.
Notice how Saturday is red, not like those green weekdays. Obviously, after an Irish week, Milwaukee can look forward to a Communist weekend. Those found not mindlessly enjoying being instantly vaporised will be sent to the Gulags, where they will not exist, have never existed, and will never exist. Those found realizing that the prisoners existed will be sent to the Gulags and cease existing.
I’m too lazy to read this long novel, sry.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
6 sentences is where you draw the line? XD that’s pretty damn lazy
Perhaps you meant tl;dr?
And the beatings will continue until morale improves!
Why am I on this pirate ship, and where did this parrot come from???
Well, there was a mommy and a daddy parrot that really liked each other…
parrot sex!?!
*masturbates*
had to be done
Well it is gonna be partly cloudy, so I think it should be tolerable.
But that means it’s going to be humid. 5660 and dry, I could take. But 5660 and humid? Gah.
Its not the heat that gets you. Its always the humidity.
Time to break out the sunblock.
Is this the “2 million sunblock” of which I have heard so much from the lovely Linda Hamilton?
That line of production was discontinued about 11 years ago.
ive seen it on a robocop film
Forget sunblock, you’re gonna need Glidden Spred Latex – 3 coats!
Made of Asbestous.
either way we’ll get cancer.
there’s a big knurl in your right breast
I don’t think cyber-breast exams are that reliable.
sure they are.
They only work if you slip rohypnol into her drink and ask her to leave a window open for your buddies.
That’s what she gets for trespassing.
What, weekly rapes?
Rape. Now available long-distance.
Ooooh, like that one night in Vegas when you bought that drink for me, and I woke up to the sound of the Feds breaking down the door, the fat Elvis impersonator, the midget transvestite stripper and the goats, and you were leaving out the window with the cameras and the duffel bag of sex toys and pills
*never, ever parties with you….again*
They never did find that snake you left behind.
But they found your shoes.
Y’know, I’m thinking that must be real, ’cause no one could just make stuff like that up …
I swear, it’s not real! *looks around inconspicuously*
How did I get here? Who are you people, and what have you done with my clothes?!
SPF Nostefrau.
Looks like that Kabul forecast from 2001. Mushroom cloudy!
Residents of Milwaukee Saturday is looking a good day for your barbecues. You should have no trouble getting the charcoal to light.
True, they could drop their own pants on the charcoal to light it.
Then I would expect them to be desperately busy humping the ice machine to get some relief.
I have a great BBQ we can use, it has a bit of an un-PC design though…
Worry do not, we always can blame Buddha design
Thanks, Yoda.
Welcome you are.
Easier to Yoda imitate is than English knowledge pretending to have
Said well, you did.
It must be an apple shaped BBQ
Look up barbeque fail, or BBQ fail. You’ll see.
yea but mine is funnier. *pouts*
Climate change and Bush Energy Policy WIN!
looks like it’s just climate variability… only one day of change. maybe if it stayed for a couple hundred years, eh?
We can expect temperatures in the upper 50s through Friday! Saturday calls for thermonuclear annihilation with a 10% chance of survival. Back to you, Tom!
… cooler on Sunday.
duh.
Thermonuclear Winter.
Everyone knows that.
*pushes glasses back up on nose** precisely.
**Pushes pants back up on legs** Of course.
Damn that’s Hot!!!
Friday, sunny with temperatures up too 59.
Saturday, slight chance of nuclear downfall…
Better get some of that sunblock that’s tested on goths and albinos!
and Michael Jackson.
Can’t forget that freak!
The thought of Michael Jackson moon walking in 5660°F is quite appealing. Should bring a bit of colour to his cheeks!
He has a high probability of melting.
His nose and cheeks will be first to go.
That’s a broad definition of “his.”
Also – a broad definition of “nose”.
Reminds me of one of those Dairylea lumps of ‘cheese’ that has been left in the sun.
More like, cavernous gaping hole definition of “nose”…
Are you thinking of the Daniella Westbrook one hole nose?
I was thinking something more like a freakish, unmatched creepy disaster of a plastic face that should never be allowed in public again for fear of permanently scarring the children of the world.
This thread is going to give me nightmares.
*pulls covers over head*
Hey, Dragonwriter! Jocelyn Wildenstein! Booga booga booga booga! Mwahahahahah!
She is the ultimate LolCat but in a bad way
EEP!
*hides*
I am pretty sure Sarah Palin was part LolCat
Is she the one who has had so much plastic surgery that her eyes are on the sides of her head now? And she can hike up her stockings by raising her eyebrows? She kinda scares me.
Sounds kind of like the female (yes, I know) Michael Jackson.
The anti-nose.
Range is 42-5660
They are just accounting for a big margin of error
Yeah, I sure hope it doesn’t get that low, but that 5660 seems like it’d be pretty nice!
The forecast is: it might be hot, or it might not be.
Or might be really really really really really really really freaking hot
Passive-aggressive wetaher man, I say. “Today it will be between -20 and 150 degrees”
with a 50% chance of showers
Thank god for Celsius! It’s only like 15c here XD
I hope someone remembered the Coppertone…
“Saturday Night Fever”?
Ha ha!
Stayin’ Alive!
Might as well be walking on the sun……
The heat is on… oh it’s on the street…
The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!
Burning down the house!
Our house, in the middle of the street
Was a very, very, very fine house,
with two cats in the yard…
and the cats in the cradle with the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon
Crazy laughter in another room,
and she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon…
Blue skies, smilin’ at me…nothing but blue skies do I see
And the green grass grows all around all around and the green grass grows all around…
BURN BEHBY BURN!!!
DIZKO INFEEERNO!
Sunday will never be the same
It will be bloody. A sunday, bloody sunday.
Weather on Friday, 59 and mostly cloudy. Saturday brings us the 7th level of hell.
» Beep, Beep Beep
Weather Alert: Saturday highs are expected to reach into the thermonuclear range, with lows around 42. Avoid prolonged exposure to the sun during peak periods, and protect pets and small children. The elderly are advised to remain indoors, as limited exposure may turn them to dust.
Stay tuned to the Weather Channel for updates.
I think my *FOOOOM!!*ing skills will soon be superfluous.
LOL, just look at it as an opportunity to rid the planet of all the trolls… I propose a troll convention be held this Saturday in Milwaukee. Spread the word!
Awe man, no button to re-caption? How about something like “Armageddon, coming this Saturday” or “Saturday special – hell on earth”
OMG! The Sun’s becoming a Supernova at last?
break out the champagne….
I live in Milwaukee, and this place if full of FAIL.
Yes, if is. *wink*
Chaos theory?
Looks like being warm as well!
The weather is never nice in WI
Now MN, that’s where it’s at.
More proof Milwaukee really is hell.
Only on the weekends.
Saturday – Everyone knows that’s when Milwaukee is sinking to hell. And it’s about damned time too.
Tomatoes!!!!
5560 is STILL TOO COLD!
Maybe its in Kelvin. That would make it a chilly 3400. Heck, that jacket weather.
Umm, no that would make it over 9000 degrees F. Shorts and “OH MY GOD IT BURNS!” weather.
Doh, you are right. Conversion FAIL
No it isn’t, 5560 K = 9 548.33 °F = 5 286.85 °C….
Someone nuked them
I always knew Wisconsin was going to hell in a handbasket, and this proves it!
um, free popcorn for everyone??
Lol. That’s nothing new. I am the designated popcorn provider here, and it’ll take a lot more than the apocalypse to change that.
‘Looks like a rough weekend, Dave..’
‘That’s right Phil. As you can see, on Saturday Milwaukee will be descending to the eight level of hell’
‘Better make sure to keep the kids away from the lava pits, Dave’
You have it all wrong. The incredible heat is because of daylight savings time. The extra hour that we have forced the sun to shine upon us with our mystical synchronized clock-changing ceremony is going to cause drought and make all the Earth’s water evaporate into nowhere *instead of clouds, causing precipitation later* and we will all DIE. *mutter something about stupid Benjamin Franklin and his evil sun-controlling daylight savings time conspiracy*
Damn us for daring to add an extra hour of sunlight to the day!
Partly cloudy with a chance of DOOM.
There’ll be a hot time in the old town Saturday night.
Very ominous, isn’t it?
That number means nothing to me. What’s that in Celsius?
3126.7 degrees Celsius.
But wait, daylight savings is over. Things should be cooling down, not heating up. Unless, we kept the extra hour and just moved everything back. Those bastards! First the rainbows, now this.
You Southern hemisphere non-conformists!
See, I told you global warming was real. You’ll have your proof Saturday!
This week will be pretty mild…Enjoy. Because we are all going to die.
Nuclear War Prediction WIN
Either that, or Russians invading Georgia again!
It’s because Sarah wasn’t in Alaska keeping an eye on them.
predicting the End of Days win…
does that mean all teh snow will melt saturday?
I guess we’ll find out how good my Armageddon-proof shelter really is.
Apropos of nothing, it’s raining here. And there have been 3 accidents so far today, 2 of them in the past hour. All in the same place, right outside my window.
Coyote, I promise to stay inside tonight.
And now to weatherman Ollie Williams…Ollie?
“CRISPY WEATHER!!”
lol, don’t leave your car out in the sun on Saturday, it’s going to melt.
no I don’t mean the plastic, I mean the whole goddamn thing.
Dear Milwaukee,
We’re awfully sorry. We went back and re-read the Bible. It turns out that banning, not allowing, gay marriage was the trigger for the Apocalypse. As you can imagine, we’re quite embarassed! Turns out that instead of preventing the Apocalypse, we ensured its coming! Prop 8 was just the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. Now, you may be wondering why you’re getting it first. Well, it turns out God hates Wisconsin. It should come as no surprise, though, seeing how the word SIN is in your state’s name!
Anyway, sorry about bringing the Lord’s wrath down upon you and all. Hope the fire and brimstone doesn’t put too much of a damper on your weekend.
Yours in Juses,
Right-wing dingbats
Partly cloudy with a chance of HELL!
Fahrenheit system is a complete failure after all…
international system of unit FTW !!!
inches? punds? yards? all suck!!!
Cause I am that much of a geek:
5660F = 3126.666666666667C
SPF 1 million.
SPF = SUPER POWERFUL FAIL
Your Comments (smaller size) (Larger size)
So, does the sun explode first thing on Saturday, or is it some time in the afternoon? I just have some shit to do in the morning is all…
That’s the weather for this week, and I wouldn’t plan anything on Saturday as that’s the day the planet is going to fly into the sun. And now sports!
THE END IS NIGH!!!!
5660 degrees? Better dress lightly…
It’s over 5000 isn’t as catchy as over 9000=FAIL
might wanna stay inside on saturday.
obviously, saturday is the apocalypse. :]
well satuday passed, wheres my apocalypse?
“It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.”
Poor Milwaukee.
I think I’ll stay inside saturday……..
Apparently Saturday is the day our sun goes super nova.
This is totally due to global warming.
apocalypse?
damn, thats hot as hell!
still… I’d rather have 5560 then absolute zero…. besides, i never saw anything spontaneously combust before =D
At least we know when the end of the world will be now
WHAT!?
THIS WAS ON MY LOCAL NEWS WEBSITE!?
*checks to find other fails*
seeing as this is the news channel I watch, I can guarantee that I wasn’t burned to a crisp on that Saturday.
Fail attempt at fail pic
global warming ya’ll!!!
Partly cloudy, apart from that all you should feel is your balls burst into flames when you go outside.
It’s not an error, the Apocalypse is scheduled for Friday night so for Saturday they posted the temperature in Hell.
Of course I read this on a saturday. Of course. *sigh*
!!!!FROOM!!!
^^My bad onomatopoeia of my house bursting into flames.
Armageddon comes in the form of roasting us like weenies
It’s the Apocolypse! We’re all doomed!
Yesterday was pretty hot, huh? I think they meant to put 56-60 but some dumbass didnt know how to put in a dash or maybe u cant.
So the apocalypse is this Saturday? I’ve got repenting to do!
God damnit…whenever I think of a smartass comment to a fail, it’s already been posted. F off!
ITS THE END OF THE WORLD
O_o
Tommorow is Saturday -.-…I found the wrong day to quit drinkin.Oh well…tonight I DINE IN HELL!:D
that would suck nut sack
WAY TO USE CHEAT ENGINE NOOOOOOB
It was probably a typo, but they could have meant 56 to 60 degrees.
Must have been looking at their paycheque.
And this weekend, the sun will consume the earth