Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Burger Fail | Parenting Fail Next »
» 296 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
pie on Bracelet Fail eddie on I think Rule #34 comes into pl… flow on About To Fail bo3rn on HAPPY ST. PATTY’S D… bo3rn on Blockbuster Win LookOutBelow on Eyebrows Fail banana on Psychic Drawing FAIL amazingpenis on Psychic Drawing FAIL LookOutBelow on Psychic Drawing FAIL Giblock888 on Blockbuster Win 
Cheezburger Network Blog
drunkard win!
so that’s where i left them!
They’re problably smelling…
Beer & foot odor? Smells delicious.
What a party.
I don’t understand… Why would he leave shoes? Did he not realize he was barefoot when he left in the morning?
Ever woken up still drunk? I guess not.
Sure i have, but I still knew whether or not I had shoes on.
I did wake up drunk without realizing I wasn’t wearing my dress anymore, but I’m sure I would have felt the loss of my shoes.
I guess his drunk, but awake friends could have carried him off while he was still unconscious, and accidenty his shoes.
*swipes the admiral’s comma*
Thanks, I’m sure I’ll need that back.
Don’t worry, I have extras. My students use them by the TON.
How long did it take you to figure out that you weren’t wearing the dress?
When she saw someone else in it and said “ohhh I have a dress just li errr where’s my dress?”
clearly you have never been properly drunk.
He took his shoes off because he was afraid of being chiefed… If you pass out with them on, people can write and draw on your drunk ass.
I suspect the drunk guy was the person who put up the sign. It’s too bad he spilled his drink on the phone number.
Who else would be putting up the sign? His mother?
Perhaps an embarrassed friend of a drunk visitor placed the sign on his behalf.
Now I’m totally confused.
Are you wearing shoes?
*checks his own feet*
Heh heh… What are you wearing? *winks lasciviously*
*waits for the other shoe to drop*
Are you waiting with bated breath? Or baited breath?
Mermaids need shoes?
*Looks for a honey Life Saver*
Hmm. Looks like my ride is not showing up.
Sorry I’m late!! It took me forever to find your sho….
*sees the crowd, their ears perked up, listening avidly*
Ummm…I mean, I…I’m just late. Mm-hm. That’s all.
Uhh.. Dragon? I think the Admiral has been waiting patiently here for you.
opps.. your reply was on the second page… I accidentally between the admiral and the dragon!
Heeeeee!
It’s okay…the Admiral is asleep.
*runs fingers through his hair*
He looks so innocent, doesn’t he??
not for much longer (insert devious smiley here)
yawn
late night…on a couch?
Yeah, its a fail. I still haven’t found my shoes.
Cinderella?
No, I can’t find her either!
FIRST!
To embarrass yourself? Yes. Congratulations.
I think Dallas might be the drunk guy’s love interest.
♫
I been warped by the rain, driven by the snow
I’m drunk and dirty don’t ya know, and I’m still, willin’
Out on the road late at night,
Seen my pretty Alice in every head light
Alice, Dallas Alice
♫
omgwtfkfcbbq
*sings along badly and off-key*
*co-workers call looney bin*
*walks up behind Hell Hath No Fury and hits back of head with a large Unix manual* (love that video)
*is waiting behind Ryannon with chloroform rag*
*stalks behind bondfan with a plastic bag*
*performs back flip over iliketurtles*
*chuck norris’s bondfan in the face*
*videotapes it all for youtube submission to be posted on failblog as “office entertainment fail”*
celebrity status acquirence win!
*pops popcorn while waiting for youtube video to load*
Funny how a simple extra ‘o’ could change that entire comment.
Thank goodness there weren’t any extra o’s floating around… that could have become uncomfortable.
No, that’s just the circle of life in completion. New book title: Eats Leaves and Poops.
Eats, leaves and poops? Don’t poop where you eat?
..but always ALWAYS leave where you poop.
Now why on earth are you guys talking about the “o” as if it’s a bad thing?? You can never have too many “o”s!!
I agree wholeheartedly!! Never too many “o”s!
Or itd be magical
*Gawks in awe at BondFan’s acrobatic abilities*
*is not impressed with cobrajoe’s gawking skills*
*punches him in the mouth*
*aims Walther PPK carefully*
I don’t suppose that is a euphemism for something else, is it?
Bond has a pistol called the Walther PPK.
Bondfan is more of a literal kinda guy…
*masterbates at the whole ordeal*
Wow, you have a weird fetish.
*slips…*
damnit! that’s gross. clean up after yourself.
you would too if you spent time at manning motel
*slips*
damnit! browser fail….
I didn’t realize that turtles were so clumsy…
well, it’s their feet. they’re big and flat and round and have absolutely no traction control. most people don’t know this: it’s understandable.
Most people don’t know that it’s understandable?
*Gawks open mouthed at clumsy turtle*
I bet he found the high voltage urinal on the way home.
He might have survived if he had been wearing his shoes.
I don’t know, I think he was in the one hand on the wall state.
When drunk, ALWAYS asume “the hand on the wall” position. Not to be confused with the “total douche” state though.
California?
You may have found the route of the issue, which leads to the crux of the matter.
His cul de balsac would get fried for sure
He who meanders to excess may compromise the nub of man.
I hate it when my nub has been compromised.
But what if it was a closed circuit?
There is an isolated chance that he wasn’t well-grounded in the operation of that urinal. The drain is still an open question.
Of course! You should be a roads scholar.
Are you trying to lap me?
Lol. You wish.
Alley your fears, dear Admiral. You never have any problems keeping up with me!
I’ve been running in a circle trying to figure out why I’m too stupid to figure out a Balzac reference. Is my only gaff that I went with electricity instead of roadway, or is there an arterial failing still hidden from me?
Cul de sac? Play on ballsac aka marble sack aka gonads. Bad pun, blame it on me
Cul de (Bal)zac.
I think.
Nevermind!
*removes post*
I understood Ryannon’s double entendre. It’s Marius’ comment that has me at a dead end. At that point, it wasn’t clear to me that a pun run had begun. Thanks for the explanation. I don’t mind an embarrassment here and there as long as I learn something when the day is done.
You are thorough and fare.
*grin*
I’m beginning to think EVERYTHING is the start of a pun run here.
Whew, I am just glad my faith is restored in the Admiral. I was quite surprised to think he didnt get it. The world is right again.
My fault. I tried to play with the good-bad-instincts-clouded judgment and still keep the route-path theme. Massive overreach.
Well, I’m just glad that “gaff” is at least a marginally acceptable form of “gaffe”. And oh, the “thorough and fare” comment put a smile on my face and inside in that special place.
I do like making my Admiral smile.
(And tingle!)
I compromised my nub yesterday and it’s still sore.
Was your compromise reached after hours of wrangling?
To forget where one was when falling asleep or passing out is one thing. Being in such bad shape the following morning is overindulging.
he would have been saved by the rubber soles.
omg he spelled wrong, he was supposed to write “and he left his shoes” and not “and he left shoes” omg what a fail
(note the Sarcasm)
Note that that is not a spelling issue, but rather one of grammar.
I can leave shoes…. or I can leave MY shoes.
There is no grammar fail – just a total nit-picking fail.
Hahaha. You’re new here, aren’t you?
I didn’t say it was a grammar fail. I said issue.
No, it’s an unreadable-phone-number-fail. What am I supposed to do now with this left shoe?
I could offer some suggestions, but I don’t think you’ll enjoy them. And I don’t thin the keepers of the blog would appreciate them either.
*think even
*thinks odd*
*thinks strange*
*thinks*… pain….
*thinks*…. ow….
If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. Unless you’re into that kind of stuff… in which case you should go see Dragonwriter… with duct tape.
funny, that’s exactly what the last girl i slept with said… minus the dragon writer part…. huh.
And substitute “slept with” with “kidnapped”
And girl with hairy trucker
And “huh” with “yeesh”…
And replace “funny” with “After the police arrived”
And “slept with” with “fled the room to the sound of peals of laughter”.
no, no, no. he shaved. i made him.
Hairy girl with hairy trucker?
trucker? thats what the kids are calling it these days.
You trucker, you brought her!
You tie them together and toss them onto a powerline in the middle of Compton… sheesh!
LOL
It’s a grammar issue, and a dancing fail.
No dancing shoes.
No shirt
No shoes
No Problem.
No pants after 2PDT.
But, will the serbvers be up by then?
Yes, but my friends on the East Coast are getting cheated out of three hours of serbvice because they have to wait til 5. So unfair
*removes pants*
Well its 2PDT somewhere!
Xanxan, is it really you?
Where’s your new cub?? Have you gotten your sloppy holes checked yet?
OMG ROFL PIP SIS LOL BBQ!
Thanks Blue. I laughed so hard my coworkers now think something is very wrong with me. They’re right, of course.
That, and he has two left feet.
If he can’t dance, he is no friend of mine.
but I can dance if I wana..
Leave your cares behind…
Great. Now that’s going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day..fanfu*kingtastic.
I prefer the SULU dance myself. S sss.. U uuu.. L lll.. U uuu.. SUUUULLUUUU DAAAAANCE!
My work here is done.
At least it’s safe.
Heh. If you want to be sarcastic about spelling things wrong, “omg” is not a word, there needs to be a period after the end quotes of “and he left shoes”, as well as after the word fail. And “sarcasm” shouldn’t be capitalized, it is not a proper noun.
I love you with a small and mighty passion now.
Is it supposed to be spelled “mog”?
Only to friends, kupo.
“Mister Thou” approves.
Double Epic Win.
Let me guess… you’re a drinker, too?
How drunk do you have to be to forget your shoes? No, really, I want to know.
Ummm… depends on body weight. If you get this drunk, though, you’re a consistent drinker. I’d say maybe 10 or 15 beers.
Drunk enough to forget your shoes, but sober enough to remember you spent the night on some strangers couch. That is a fine line to walk.
Maybe some memories were coming back at the time of writing that sign. I am told than the more embarrassing ones are the ones coming back later (or not coming back at all).
Yes, you got it: I just happen to know because some friend of mine told me
Was that friend of your barefoot?
Lobs fluffy an “s”
oh thanks, but really I was asking if it was a friend of his bare foot.
It must have been a REALLY memorable couch, and some really ugly shoes. Although I’m not sure what a really memorable couch looks like…
More of a love seat really.
a memorable couch is coin operated and heart shaped.
I see you have been to my house before.
Unless of course you woke up on the couch… and walked off without your shoes.
Must be a lightweight then. 10 or 15 shots, now that I could see causing memory loss. And over all brain function loss.
If the first 15 shots does not cause memory loss: repeat procedure.
If you don¡t remember number of shots taken, drink another 15 just to be on the safe side
Challenge: 1 shot of beer per minute, for one hour. You cannot throw up, you cannot drink anything else. That’s it. One shot a minute, for an hour, using beer (no light beers, nothing crazy like triple bock).
On another note, several of my friends could easily be this guy: they routinely get naked when smashed. Something about coming from a hot climate, I guess.
Do they live in Milwaukee?
*makes a note never to drink with Lunchbox* I am the epitome of lightweight. 2 drinks and I am telling co-workers I would do them if they would just clear off the table at the company Christmas party.
Note to self: Invite Ryannon to next years Christmas party…Bring 6-pack.
and a camera
duct tape optional
wow, it doesn’t take much to get them off, does it?
You didn’t ask how much they drink. Average tab for a night is well over $300 usd. For three or four people.
and this is why in wisconsin we dislike long weekends. there’s no money left in our pockets after the first night and a half
or you just drink pbr, in which case you’ll never be out of cash… just taste buds.
You’d never get drunk, either. Crappy pisswater. PBR=Piss, Bottled Rotten.
WOW, that equals up to almost 4 pints. I am a lightweight, 2 beers gets me buzzed pretty nicely. I could never dring 4 pints in 1 hour, I’d be dead..
I’d say 10 or 15 beers would be a fail for a consistent drinker. That would probably only make him look stupid. Think 20 and up when one starts to forget his shoes. (yes I, as a male chauvenist pig, am asuming it is a he)
aSSuming*
Way to go, ASSumer… gonna go read the sign we’re all talking about again, aren’t you??? Right after you take your foot out of your mouth, I suspect.
You spilled your Ultra Coffee on his foot…didn’t you?
Sure did, now it’s summery fresh!
body weight has nothing to do with it
that only matters if you wanna know how fast he gets drunk
I can’t remember.
Ever had more than one El Jardin Margaritas? That’ll make you forget your shoes!
*can’t drink tequila*
Or rum. Whiskey in very small quantities. Vodka works best for me. Of the hard liquors.
Whiskey and Dr. Pepper for me!
*shudder*
No, it’s actually very good!
WOOT!
I drink used condoms full of urine.
Why would you drink Bud Light when there are so many better choices out there?
Because the Frogs insist, they command me in my dreams.
All hail Hypnotoad!
Those amphibians are such liars!!!!
“bud”
“weis”
“er”
Never hire a ferret to do a weasel’s job. lol
Unless you have a shaved hamster handy. Err what?
Armageddon!!!!
(youtube – “armageddon hamster”)
O M F G ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
The word “Armageddon” will now make you laugh from this day forward.
I wish we could get youtube at work so I could play this for my coworkers. They would die laughing! (and I’ve been trying to think of ways to kill them off, so I can get a promotion)
No matter how many times I watch it. I ALWAYS LMAO.
You’re lucky. I can’t drink anything with barley in it. So I can only use the stuff that works too well in small quantities. Efficiency win, and with the lack of liquid, as opposed to beer, less trips to the bafroom=more time for using cheesy pick-up lines! WOOT!
ah! mother land!
you should really try jack&cider (fresh cider, not that store bought crap)
it is delicious!
be careful; Jack Daniels makes you incredibly pregnant.
My husband won’t let me drink tequila if he is not present. When I do, everyone suddenly starts looking like him and has thus caused me significant problems when it comes down to where I’m going to sleep.
It’s not a matter of being so drunk you forget your shoes, but being so drunk that you are still drunk when you wake up.
I’ve been there a couple of times, worse than a hangover IMO.
The cure for “wake up drunk” is to immediately begin drinking again.
Hair of the dog.
Hound of the Baskervilles
Call of the Wild
King of Queens…wait…what?
Priscilla, Queen of the desert?
Pair of aces.
All in. Whatcha got?
really, dear, it is worse that he doesn’t remember where he was when he left his shoes. Before we moved in together, I would leave all sorts of stuff at my boyfriend’s house becase I forgot it. And I was sober….
But… his shoes!!! Presumably he had them on when left to go drinking. How do you get home without your shoes?
Oh, wait. I just remembered a night out with a friend and she threw hers at some guy while we were walking to the car. We got them back, but still…..
I was the designated driver that night. It is one of the many reasons I do not drive now.
That was YOU!!!!!!!!!!
No, that was her. I did not throw anything. I just retrieved said shoes and drove two VERY drunk girls home. On the highway. It was the first time I had driven since getting my license. Which I didn’t get ’til I was 22.
I had a friend who didn’t get her license until she was 22. She drove through a gas station wall when she mistook the gas for the break.
ha, reminds me of a friend of mine. got her license and her parents got her a nice new car. She put it through a telephone pole becase she leaned down to change the radio station…then they got her an old used car…she wrecked it a few weeks later…then she had no car untill she could but her own…that was a while
*buy
Yeah, I guess that is extreme, I left my glasses, though and am blind without them….that’s pretty bad..maybe not as bad as shoes
When I’m drunk I sometimes fall asleep / pass out with my glasses stil on. Then I spend the next morning turning my bed inside out to find them. They usually end up underneath the mattrass or inside the pillow case.
If his sign said he was missing his shoes and his butt hurt, we could at least point him in the direction of Manning Motel.
That place had one hell of a breakfast buffet!
Or in the direction of a slightly used rubber fist
i lost my shoes last night
i think i had about 11 to 13 drinks in me
Well, I was gonna call but then I remembered the drunk dude on my counch left with his shoes.
are you kidding me? that’s not fail, it’s win
*starts calling number*
your phone supports the blurry number function?
Most phones do.
It’s when you drunk dial and get the wrong number and forget you did it.
Funny story… I drunk dialed a wrong number, at 5am. The recipient had caller ID, and for weeks after would call me up and breathe heavy. Too bad it sounded like a guy.
*snork*
These constant obscene phone calls …they don’t half increase the phone bill.
(Milton Jones)
I was wondering where those shoes came from. Sadly they are very comfortable so he’s not getting them back!
damn dog ate my post again.
Doesn’t it get splinters?
you make me ruf.
He should have signed his name to the note, his Mommy might have written his name on the tongue.
My mom always wrote my name on the bottom.
*hangs head*
So men would know what name to call out? Or am I thinking the wrong bottom?
I lol’d…..and no, the writing down there says ‘exit only’.
What a dumbass. He forgot to say June of what year.
If the sign was posted after 1979, it was either 1980,1986,1997,2003 or 2008
Umm if he was your sober enough to get home you would think he would remember his left shoe..
Hey, I need that number!
Prince Charming stayed the night?
Yes but it was Shrek who woke up the next morning.
Coyote ugly uh?
Ten at 2, 2 at ten??
Always a good time at the last chance bar!
Last chance saloon, surely?
I don’t remember Shirley, but that bitch must have my shoes.
Seems like a much easier task than the sign next to it.
“Drunk guy came home with me and slept on my couch. Left his shoes behind as he snuck out in the morning, and now I’m pregnant. If you have information to his whereabouts, call xxx-xxx-xxxx.”
You missed “He violently raped me and now I’m pregnant, and unwittingly passed on my HIV.”
Sadly, if this said flipflops instead of shoes I would say it is my brother in the Keys. He always wakes up on someone eles’s couch.
Hey! I remember that guy!
You don’t have a cousin named Camel do you?
That crazy cousin.. they named him after the other, other, other white meat!
I’m sure I’m going to regret admitting this, but…
Once I got drunk enough in a pub in London that a very suave and tricksy Irishman stole the boots right off my feet.
Believe me…I had a HELL of a time finding them!
Tricksy hobbitses! They don’t even wear shoes.
Is that “One Hump Camel” or “Two Hump Camel”?
Two, if you’re doing it right…
Five if you want her satisfied.
143th!
Now I really look like a FAILBlog user!
Yeah, you’re really 147th!
1st!
Either your browser is REALLY slow, or you can’t count.
You fail at humour.
You fail at you fail at humour.
You fail at syntax!
You just plain fail. End of story.
Damit Avis!, I liked this story. Kids’ books are easier for me to read.
Sorry BTF, there will be others! I promise! We never want for Trolls here.
And this wasn’t even one of the GOOD stories, BTF. There are others that are much more entertaining, I promise.
You sure aren’t writing one!
I had a former roommate that did something similar to this. He had moved out a month prior but showed up in the middle of the night having broken into the back door thinking he forgot his keys (he was that drunk)… I let him sleep on the floor in my room since the couch had cat piss all over it (but thats another story), he got up a few hours later and stumbled out, leaving his shoes behind. I got a call the next day from him asking if I had seen his jacket. Apparently he woke up in Golden Gate park without his jacket. He never mentioned the shoes until I told him I had them.
Sounds like a ‘drinking story’ win to me
easily faked
Is this the same drunk who lost his rubber fist?
I actually did this.
Got drunk, fell asleep on a friends couch, half sleep walked myself outside to pee, and THEN woke up – not at all realizing I had gone back to a friends house WHERE I HAD NEVER BEEN BEFORE – and only then came to the realization that I was barefoot, standing on a sidewalk, and had no clue where I was. A SCARY moment even for one hungover sack!
what does drunk mean?
I Believe the man left a Douche Burger in those shoes, and he wants it back :/
Hopefully he lives in an honest community, because only then would he get his shoes back.
Nice try
this is the most funny pic on fail blog by far! thank you, uploader!
June 27th is my birthday…not kidding