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Cheezburger Network Blog
Intense fasting between meals. It can be done.
* intensive
excluding brunch
christ, actually, that buffet better be pretty big…
Maybe you can pray for a bigger buffet.
*prays*
*preys*
*praise*
McHammer?
McLovin’?
McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
u got something against mclovin you queerosexual
McDonald’s?
Sounds like some kind of sexy hamburger.
Reference Movie: Superbad (2007)
Who are u trying to be, Seal?
Oh Lord, bless us with a bigger buffet, and, if it’s not too much trouble, please turn these fish into pizzas. Amen.
no anchovies, please.
I fast between every bite.
I don’t like it when people eat while driving in the fast lane.
That surely makes me loose my mind.
I hear you know all the right people, and take all the right pills….
I hear there were lines on the mirror, lines on her face?
Yeah, but she pretended not to notice.
She must have been caught up in the race.
Could you call the doctor? I think I’m gonna crash…
he says hes coming, but youve got to pay him cash.
No, she was too tired to fight about it.
Anything religious is fail IMO.
Anything fail is religious.
*prays to the fail gods*
God bless religion, for it fails us so…
*fasts before lunch*
God bless lunch, for it fills us so…
*lunches before fail*
(religious lunches fail fast below this level)
now now, we wil have nun of that.
Thank God that’s only your opinion.
literally breakfast for breaking the fast.
“I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfest. ”
“You eat pieces of shit for breakfest?”
*pause*……”NOOOOOO”
Hey, why don’t I just go and eat some hay?
I just may…..
what did ya say?
[♫] Getting choked by the detectives yeah yeah now check the method
They be asking us questions, harass and arrest us
Saying “we eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast”
Huh? Yall eat pieces of shit? What’s the basis?
We ain’t goin’ no where but got suits and cases… *continues singing in head*
mc fail? what kind of stupid name is that? are you trying to be an eastern european rnb singer?
That’s a fast way to fail?
/got nothin
This reminds me of that Ramadan fail, that wasn’t actually a fail. *sigh*
It does indeed seem to be a variation of that “not-fail”.
Hey, if “fasting” means you can still have your regular meals, what about “stealing”, “lying”and “sodomizing” then ?
mmm… sodomizing.
*masturbates*
Hey guys, seems like we have another of those masturbators on our hands !
Careful Ckuhc, we have only just got the innuendo machine fixed.
My name is Czuhc, David Czuhc.
Sorry, that is what I was aiming for. My fingers rebelled! I will give them a severe spanking.
and you warn other people about the innuendo machine?
He never warns about the innuendo machine. He keeps it in a bukkit and wait for people to tumble over it.
Actually, I’m pretty sure that Lunchbox keeps it in his pants…
Only when I don’t have appropriate company to take it out…
Really? I thought he’s got a party going on there
Just a conga line
*congas*
*shakes marraccas*
*shakes….. *
Ummmm… yeah…. *blushes*
Wow, that’s the first time I’ve ever had three women in my pants…
Lucky sod…
poor old sod… you see its only me.
I was just testing her with a remark of the first category. There’s no danger in that.
Unless you’re at the rape motel.
On your hands… not on mine… your doing it wrong.
Not to mention pederasty.
We are covered, *looks for writ of indulgence*
Actually, I think my homeowner’s policy has a pederasty endorsement.
I found it! . . .Wait. . . do you live near Mr. Rogers?
I think that fails that have no nut-squishing aren’t as amusing.
I would concur but there is that dead horse I have to think of
We’ll try to turn your pommel horse into a vaulting horse.
Though it will be quite the balancing act.
I’m champing at the bit to see this…
You’ll have to bridle your enthusiasm for the time being.
I’m beaming with pride
great, now we need a prideful balance beam. You guys are SO needy.
So, are you saying, this is a repast?
I think that’s a fare assessment.
youre hiered!
Which is why I voted thumbs down for this on the vote page.
“Those too hungry and catholics can also mandate a representative to fast in their place.”
Not to worry, the meal is kosher.
I want to know where God is going and why he’d have to change course, unless he’s playing Golf and the one he is currently on is rather naff.
Maybe God was using the Spongebob compass.
Fast!
Fist !
Fury!
Faust!
Infaust !
exaust
*h
Why thankyou!
*inserts space*
*creates antimatter*
*cowers*
What a singular accomplishment.
The final frontier?
Captin’s log stardate: 551114411445415466545645465465456654465564
Mr Sulu, find out what happened to the Fairy we used to keep in that little cage over there by Ensign Leslie.
The fairy is now starring in an off-broadway play
Mr Sulu, find out what happened to the little Fairy we keep in that cage next to Ensign Leslie.
#$(($%(&#$(^^#^#$^@#%$@*#$@)%*&….. (insert long string of curses in preceding gibberish)
Another rare form day for wordpretzel.
*snortgiggle!*
Words are pretzels? That explains why W. struggles with them!
win.
Only the extremely intelligent can see the food.
what food? hey, guys…. what food?
Food? There was food?
How can fasting get God to change course? Isn’t God supposed to be infallible?
He who sent his only son to die to save us…
I mean come on, on a purely Evolutionary tact that’s not the brightest thing to do now is it.
No wonder there is only one God! I mean every time one of his creations goes a bit tits up *poof* there goes another offspring.
Read a bit further Beren. God pulled a blinder by resurrecting him for further use.
I like a money-back guarantee with my messiahs, thanks.
History bears witness to the vital part that the “Prophets” have played in human progress_ which is evidence of the ultimate practical valve of expressing unreservedly the truth as one sees it. Yet it also becomes clear that the acceptance and spreading of their vision has always depended on another class of men- “Leaders” who had to be philosophical strategists, striking a compromise between truth and men’s receptivity to it. Their effect has often depended as much on their own limitations in perceiving the truth as on their practical wisdom in proclaiming it.
The prophets must be stoned; that is their lot, and the test of their self-fulfillment. But a leader who is stoned may merely prove that he has wisdom, or through confusing his function with that of a prophet. Time alone can tell whether the effect such a sacrifice redeems the apparent failure as a leader that does honor to him as a man. At the least, he avoids the more common fault of leaders- that of sacrificing the truth to expediency without ultimate advantage to the cause. For whoever habitually suppresses the truth in the interests of tact will produce a deformity from the womb of his thought.
-B.H. Liddell Hart
So, in conclusion, “follow the gourd” ?
And carry a bag of rocks.
NO! NO! FOLLOW THE SHOE!
Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.
History of the World?
HEY, I FOUND A BLASPHEMER !
Try “Life og Brian”
Sorry, was not my intention to write Norsk.
*of
Ah. I was on the fence between the two, and I figured, this crowd quotes MP quite a lot… soooo.. I fail.
I got as far as ‘prophets must be stoned’ and started wondering if they had any vacancies.
Beren… God does not think in evolutionary terms. Ask Sarah Palin.
No, but Sarah Palin thinks in pollutionary terms.. as in, polluting our airwaves with her damn annoying voice and wink!
Hooray for Obama!
I second that!
2009 is going to be a great year!
Not, not infallible, inflatable. Check the fine print.
that explains the whole Juses and the nails thing.
$65?!
THATS A FAIL
omg…no way i would give such amount!…can we find out if anyone went there?
$65?!
*masturbates*
If $65 makes you masturbate, what will you do for higher fees ?
*gives $1000 and runs away*
ZJ?
This fail is a fail. Do any of you actually know how one fasts?
Quickly
So we don’t need a whole conference on how not to eat?
Let’s not be hasty.
or tasty.
After this I’m going to the Celibacy Conference. I hear condoms are included in the price.
Why not attend the Child Predator’s Self-Help seminar, too? I hear they include free child care for all paid attendees!
I almost signed up for that one, but there was a schedule conflict with the Living With Alcoholism conference…. they have an open bar.
Oh, alcohol wins every time!
That’s usually my tie-breaker as well.
That’s fasting food…
petition the lord with fasting eh? jim morrison would disagree
You mean to tell everybody that their imaginary super-friend doesn’t take bribes? What good is worshiping an all-powerful, all-knowing being if you can’t outwit him and manipulate him to fulfill your own petty wishes?
No, he’s just parading softly.
All while his mojo’s risin’…
Even without meals, the conference is a fail.
Hopefully God changes course because the courses the resteraunts keep giving us suck. God makes better meals.
PS fasting makes me hungry
PPS Your female parental unit
Webdesign fail as well
can I also just point out…
Passage listed, presumably as some sort of justification for the conference.
Ezra 8:2: “of the descendants of Phinehas, Gershom;
of the descendants of Ithamar, Daniel;
of the descendants of David, Hattush”
What does this have to do with the price of feet?
That’s because the rest of the reference was cropped. It’s Ezra 8:21: “Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river of Ahava, that we might afflict ourselves before our God, to seek of him a right way for us, and for our little ones, and for all our substance.”
This is not a fail
Dear followers
Fail less.
Sincerely,
Your Beloved God
How about fisting conference?
Has anyone taken into consideration that this might be a conference on HOW to pray & fast?
wtf dont fkin put that shit on here lies thats wat it is dont get at muslims!!!!!!
allahuakbar
Can’t take a joke, eh?
Cheer up! *gives you a kitten*
u hav no life … laugh a little ..cry alot!!
Hi webmaster!
ahaha funny!
But fasting in the christian context doesn’t necessarily refer to food!
Religious understanding fail! XD