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Cheezburger Network Blog
First!
AUSSIE-MAN!!
*sob*
I thought you were better than this…
Oh, Dragon. None of us are immune. *sobs*
I’ve had the injections. Does that help?
There is no cure for genital herp… I mean, for posting “First!”
There certainly is a cure for genital herpes, it’s just more drastic than most people are willing to commit to. As a matter of fact, it cures everything, including HIV and the Ebola virus!
Hari kari? A selfectomy?
That would be the cure! Too bad Samurai values didn’t hold around a little longer- there would be much more honor in today’s society if you had to kill yourself for dishonoring your family or superiors!
And it would really help with the population explosion!
More importantly.. it will eliminate First posters!
Goodness…this conversation went in an unexpected direction. I don’t actually want Aussie-Man to take himself OUT, you know!
No, no… not Dan, just the random trolls. Anyone branded troll should be so personally ashamed that they must off themselves!
… or building a dome to celebrate British engineering and the new millennium.
*facepalm*
wouldn’t that kill off our entire government?
Serious flaw in the system, there, huh?
Dragon… I am, but temptation got the better of me and I could not help myself.
Yeah, that’ s what Adam said.
Don’t you mean Eve?
regardless…
that’s what she said.
regardless…
That’s what she said…
They both were tempted. Eve by the snake, Adam by Eve.
I heard a story where Adam munched first. That’s how he knew to blame it on Eve.
The Devil made them do it. WOO!
“FIAL?” did no one see this?
they spelled fail wrong!
haha FAIL!!!
2th
Careful or the fairy will come for that.
yea, that was just for the fail reference’ sake..
The fairy accidentally the whole tooth! What should I do?
Tell the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Call the 2th poice!
Will they conduct a full cavity search?
There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. They will make you scream until daddy stops.
Indeeeed
replacement shoddy gold teeth for crap rappers is not optional
crap rappers = crappers?
Isn’t the ‘C’ is silent?
I always thought so
I see what you mean.
use an action verb?
Attention
Please do not feed the trolls.
Thanks,
Mgmt.
Indeed.
254’ss
3red
So this is the Job Application From for the OMFG Magazine… now I understand
A little further down they ask if he has any experience raping.
A lot of people who apply for min-wage jobs are uneducated or still learning English. A former manager told me she had an application once with “Desired Position” listed as “kook.” So while the misspelling of “higher” is a fail for many of us, I don’t think the “Fail” label is really accurate in this case. The person may simply not know how to spell the word due to an unfamiliarity with English.
*Engrish
… and the apostrophe was just random decoration?
I think that was supposed to to be the dot above the “i” in “hier”.
Yeah, they’re usually called “high school students.”
Ok so right I’m the person who submitted the post and trust me I’m in the midwest and this person could speak English he was just stupid he dropped out after 2 years of high school according to the rest of the application and for you people that keep talking about McDonalds this was for a grocery store not McDonalds I think that you have to apply online there.
Run-on sentence WIN.
Rachel, can you see the Alaskan Internet pipeline from there?
Its true….
Wow…way to go Sarah.
Run on sentence WIN.
Are you sure it wasn’t your application!?
Shut up whore I’ll use puncation as I see fit so there
Ironically, you seem to not know English either.
You have labelled the image with “FIAL” instead of “FAIL”
HAHAAA *points and laughs*
He was obviously going to say ‘hieroglyphics’.
This is what we get cooking for us at McDonalds..,,*sigh* I think I’ll make breakfast at home this morning.
mmm sausage and egg mcmuffin ftw…specially with a hash brown…
I like the bacon egg & cheese biscuit, with a sugar free vanilla iced coffee….but not made by a moron.
And by moron you mean someone who got a proper education but was too lazy to learn to write properly. Oh wait.. may be he didn’t get to go to school, and perhaps he speaks two languages, even if still catching up with English. What about you? Anywy, sure let’s keep him from touching our bacon! sigh…
Ed, someone who “got a proper education” would not write like this. At least no one who graduated in America. Our colleges(I assume you meant graduating college) requires you to exercise the ability to write ans speak properly to be allowed to graduate. This person would also not be asking for min. wage if they were a college graduate.
In this economy, I’ll take what I can get.
So I took what I could get! Yeah I took what I could get…
And I look into those big brown eyes, and said…
You ain’t seen nothing yet!
you know nothing of the American education crisis if you think there are no illiterate college students
and*
Well, that certainly explains why you’re buying it at McDonald’s, doesn’t it?
Enjoy your heart attack.
… and general organ failure…
You can get pills off the Internet for a *specific* organ failure..
Acute penis shrinkage reference WIN!
Is a shrunken penis even remotely cute?
Apropos of nothing…I read that as “shuriken penis”.
It’s Japanese
How is any penis “cute”? They aren’t the most flattering part of the male anatomy, ya know?
I agree completely. But the female counterpart is no more attractive. They would make great aliens in a sci-fi movie.
If it was under remote control it might be cute.
*pushes buttons*
*wraps around your finger*
I have to disagree. The lady parts CAN be very beautiful, it’s a matter of taste and presentation, I think.
Dragon, you can push MY buttons any time!
Taint nothing but a g-thing
Hee…! Thanks Lunchbox, but I think I have my hands full at the moment.
*holds hands against heart*
Enjoying your heart attack?
You just have to know how to dress them.
TOTALLY agree (I’m a guy) the penis is kinda ugly (OK I am biased I
think its really ugly)
It’s every egg’s dream!
He could have been aiming for Hieraaetus spilogaster but the form wasn’t wide enough. Anyway how much does a Mim get paid?
This person will get the minimum wage for a mime
In Michigan, it’s $7.40 an hour.
Indiana just got raised from $5.15 to $5.85/hr.
And next year, it’ll be even hier!
The State of Indiana only makes $5.85 an hour? I thought Indiana was more skilled than states like Alabama or Arkansas. I think Indiana should petition to the League of States for a raise.
I believe it’s about Indiana Jones who as no income and,
because of that, has to steal golden trophies from Aztec descendants.
Go watch the movie again, you’ve obviously missed the entire plot.
There was a plot to that crappy film? I just thought that it was a way for them to take more of our money.
Touche.
Vinegar and water touche? On sale at Wal-mart
Ultra strength!
New and improved
Better Tasting!
Longer lasting!
Well, this thread took a salty turn!
…Juice, anyone??
Nope, these muscles are all natural! *flexes*
Where?
englands min wage is £5.73 and in USD thats $9.02488 (i used a currency converter have fun with your .00488 cents!)
XD!!!!!!!!
none of that is enough to live on, or support a single person, let alone a family.
… or buy a house and car and yacht, dine out in the best restaurants every night and go on foreign holidays every other week. Tsk! Tsk! Then they have the temerity to call it social support!
Snort!
Just Hier them!
True enough. Fortunately, a number of people with minimum wage jobs would be capable of better supporting themselves if they put their mind to it. And for those who can’t, there’s Medicaid and other government programs. Hooray, helping the disabled!
Only if there is a vote in it
But if they work hard, they might have to forfeit their government cheese.
Sadly though, you really can’t support yourself on minimum wage in Illinois.
Not and live in an even half-way safe neighborhood. Maybe if you got about
5 room-mates for a studio apartment it would work. At least this is the case in Chicago. This is why so many people have moved back in with their parents here.
Same on this side of the pond. ‘Minimum’ is set by a bunch of rseholes earning 100 times the minimum wage.
Right – I think we need to raise “mim” wage to a million dollars per hour. Then, everyone will be wicked rich and there will be no more poverty and no one will ever have to work again. Yea – that’s the ticket.
You’re not the UK finance minister? Are you?
No, that’s Ben Bernanke in disguise.
I haven’t understand this fail (sorry i am not english), can someone explain this ?
He put the X next to the No instead of the Yes.
you don’t even KNOW what that question is on the form! That’s not the fail here.
I like how you make a living of missing the jokes. Did you fill a job application form for that position?
And how much do they pay you?
Mim wage, obviously.
Although he could get hier if he gets a good performance review!
Explanation WIN!
Minimum wage or higher. hier? Hear>?
There’s a station in Detroit, at Telegraph & 7 mile that’s selling gasoline(petrol) for $1.99 a gallon. I never thought I’d see that again.
i dont even understand what he/she means by minimum wage of higher? isnt that like..every possible pay range possible? and who opts for minimum wage..i guess someone who cant spell it.
It’s a standard reply to that question when one has NO experience anywhere at all.
my first job i got $6.50 an hour..i australia minimum wage is $5 an hour.. i get i get $25 an hour now tutoring primary school kids…its not hard to get above minimum wage here..
lol fail typing
Good example of what a $25 an hour kid tutor can do.
Just for curiosity sake, how much for a tutor who can teach the kids to write properly?
i teach science/maths lol..
He/she never claimed to be a language or typing tutor! Maybe he/she tutors them in quantum physics. *grin*
Seriously? Wouldn’t you need a basic grasp of language to understand the complexities of quantum physics? Just because a rocket scientist excels at math does not excuse them from knowing how to read and write. I know every American university, even the substandard ones, requires English and Writing to obtain a degree.
Agreed. I was being facetious.
Oh, duh. Recognizing humor fail… More coffee, please!
*hands Lunchbox the ultra-strong coffee*
Thanks, I’m forever in your de….HEY, that’s not coffee!!!
Heeheehee…!!!
Recently, a group of physics junior school teachers leaving training college were given a battery, a bulb and a piece of wire. The challenge was to understand physics and make the bulb light. If memory serves one out of fifteen could.
As in, “How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
Pi. Exactly Pi.
Perfect!
tee hee
3.14159 is what i remember pi as
That is blueberry pi. Banana cream is 4.3858.
Mayhaps, but they certainly don’t require Spelling and Grammar, obviously. Else, we wouldn’t be experiencing such an epidemic of apostrophe abuse and homonym confusion. English and writing classes only require the student to understand the concepts of what they’re reading, not write it right.
(ha! Homonym win!!!!)
Okay, okay — “write it correctly.”
More like proofreading fail.
It’s not difficult here either, unless you don’t make an effort, like to spell correctly.
good call, mims the word!
Where you at, cicili? Them’s my stompin’ grounds.
Mookie, I’m mid thumb, Mi. Sandusky area. You inner city?
‘Burbs outside the city.
Poor Mookie. Better watch your back from now on!
????????
…living near cicili. I’d be terrified, personally.
N of the city?
Could you email me a tankful Cicili? It is about £5/ gallon in the UK.
Nice conversion! I have no idea what size a gallon is.
We celebrated last week when it returned to under £1/litre.
A gallon is 2 melons and half an eggplant, I am told.
And a galleon is a great, big boat.
How much gasoline do you need for that?
No gasoline, just gas.
*stocks up on beans*
1 gallon = 3.78 liters
4.54 in UK
or 8 pints!
Yes please!
A gallon is one-tenth of the amount of water that can be held by a Texan’s hat.
Not being able to spell properly on one’s application form is not going to go a long way towards getting oneself hired, is it?
Properly P-R-O-P-E-R-L-Y Properly
A spelling Fail indeed
A definite FIAL.
Thats the employee that I want. Self esteem fail.
you expect that egg cooked AND hot? I don’t get paid enough for THAT!
Mmm… nothing better than cold, rubbery eggs.
What is up with the quality of fails lately? There’s a whole bunch of perfectly good fails wasting away in the bowels of the Vote section, and we get mediocre stuff over here. How many votes does it take to get something on the front page, anyway?
We’ll know soon enough.
I don’t think it’s a number of votes, I think it’s based on the ratio of thumbs up votes to thumbs down votes. I’ve noticed several that had only a small minority of votes cast for thumbs down and those ones always seemed to make it to the main page very quickly.
Perhaps this person is new to America and doesn’t know English yet. That would explain the request for minimum wage and the bad spelling without calling the person stupid.
But calling people stupid is so much fun.
S/he could find someone to help with the spelling. If s/he was actually smart, s/he would know s/he couldn’t spell very well in English and that spelling mistakes on job apps are bad, and it’s necessary to either have someone else proofread or look up the spellings on one’s own.
Well, someone has to clean the Portajohns.
Wash hands before going back into the kitchen please.
How I wish I made mim wage or hier.
Maybe s/he is French, and is saying “Mim, wage or tomorrow.”
‘Cuz…you know…that makes so much more sense.
Hier means yesterday.
Whoops, that’s damaged the space-time continuum. We are now in tomorrow and yesterday.
*gets stretched to infinity*
*SNAP* Ow! That hurt!
Dragonwriter ! Comment est-ce possible ? To make such a linguistic mistake !
I had to blink numerous times! She will regret this demain!
Okay…here’s what happened.
I had a dream in which every word I used actually meant the opposite of what I said. So, when I was dreaming of my admirable Admiral (as I am wont to do…*blush*) and I said to him, “Festoon me with Paul socks and don’t forget the duct tape,” what actually came out was, “Strip me naked and free me as only you know how!”
Which, let’s face it, would end up the same way, anyway.
So. OBVIOUSLY I was sleepwalking during this dream, and I came downstairs and logged onto Failblog and responded to this fail whilst still in the grips of my “linguistically opposite” delirium.
… nothing was heard but trouser buttons hitting ceilings all round the world as the assembled contemplated this new fantasy. … duct tape eh!
*Makes another entry in his “List of things you can do with duct tape”*
That’s strange, I had a dream where we were duct taped together and to a clapper inside a giant bell. You were wearing a corset held together with thousands of paper clips. Our only hope of cutting through the duct tape was to get at the boning in your corset. I had to remove all those paper clips with my teeth, one by one. We were inexorably building up momentum, and I began to work feverishly when we started to lightly strike the bell. We freed ourselves and fell together, still clutching each other, into a giant aerie festooned with Paul socks, just as the bells above reached a crescendo.
I think I need a tissue after reading that.
That reminds me of the dream I had a few nights ago. We were standing in line at the WAS Bank and you were reading to me from a Jane Austen novel and teasing me because I was in it. Tom Cruise was standing in front of us, and for some reason he kept looking you straight in the neck when suddenly, a troll appeared out of nowhere and tried to abduct me with duct tape. But you had some Ultra-Strength Douche Repellant and saved me. You wrapped your arms around me, and suddenly we were lying in a nest of feathers wearing nothing but Paul socks…and then I taught you how to really and truly fly. We soared together, rising and falling in unison, going higher and higher and higher still until we reached that moment of absolute harmony and I learned what it really means to tintinnabulate!
Wow. And I thought I was special.
What are you people eating before bed? Y’all are having some very strange dreams!
Maybe s/he is German, and is saying “Mim wage or here.”
`Cuz…you know…that makes so much more absolutely no sense at all.
It makes more sense in German. Mim, wage or bier. Mim must be the head of personel. The comma slid down the page a little.
If you see that “h” as an “b” the sentence is not only correct, but also profound!
“Mim, I either want wage or beer.”
Maybe s/he meant “heir”. Like, you know, “Give me a wage or better: drop dead and give me ALL your possessions”
Or HE meant “her”.
“Give ma a wage or give her to me!” (Refering to the employer’s daughter)
Why does he want his mother to get a wage ?
Saves on tax.
Any connection between Mîm and the dragon ?
I think it’s clearly a literary reference:
‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All MIMSY were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
He did his thesis on Lewis Carroll.
This is an all time favourite of mine !
Moi aussi!
Me too!
I still have it memorised from rereading it as a child. ^_^;
You rock.
*snork*
I don’t think I’m really the Mad Madam Mim type, czuhc!
I don’t understand how everyone is getting this wrong. The word is obviously supposed to be hire. They want the same wage as Mim or else to get hired. Seems simple enough.
Thank you. Oh, by the way, your babysitter called, and it’s time for you to go back to literal-land. Goodbye!
Congratulations at missing the point!
Though I do agree that the explanation is a bit off. Either they want to be hired, or they want this Mim person, probably as a personal servant.
The person actually meant “higher” not to be hired. It’s not a misspelling as much as it is an inability to spell. Higher sounds like hi-er.
I think Dragon wants to go back to the future.
Si nous prenons l’hier, peut-être nous serions les maîtres(ses) de demain.
Mais peut-être nous romprions le space-time continuum.
But…but I explained! Up there^^!
*sigh*….
Okay. Where’s the halibut and pudding bukkit?
He’s applying to be an edditer.
I hope it is not for the post of Prime Minister!
i hope it is. a dead rat could do a better job!
What’s an edditer ? Someone who did his thesis on the Edda ?
It’s an authority on Snorri Sturluson.
That was a fail within a fail… FIAL! LOL!!
Double Negative…you fialed..
He was either trying to say heiroglyphs or Hier Hetrir. Damn niza.
I thought that was Afrikaans, at first.
what probably happened was she was filling this out in wallmart where all the little kids are running around playing guitar hero 3 and screaming
HIER KOMMIT ALEX
Spelling fail
Firsti
I am thirsty
Looks like the kind of thing you’d see at Wal-Mart…
It is just kinda sad really
Yeah…mim wage is probably accurate.
wow, I never knew hier is an English word although it is a word in German, but then it still doesn’t make sense because that means hier.
That’s the US education system in a nutshell!
That’s a Papa John’s app. I am a G.M. for P.J.’s and I see that kind of thing all the time on applications. Funny stuff.
Wow. Never working at Papa John’s then…
you idiot! you spelled fail wrong! FAIL!
you stole my word loser (fial)
I have reams and reams of applications much worse than this.
Looks like Obama’s application to McSocialism in high school!
whats the problem? you get what you pay for.
i dont know what is more fail….the guy who spelled fail, or the guy who spelled hier.
Uhh, spelling “fail” fail?
Unless that was on purpose…
The sad thing is that they probably got hired. Any time I take a test and get the answers right, I’m never called.
you spelled FAIL wrong!!!
All your jobs are belong to us.
He he, I like how it says “FIAL”
double fail!!!
FIAL FAIL lol
Writing the word Fail, Fail
You definitely spelled fail wrong.
KEKEKE
someone spelled fail wrong:fial is not how u spell fail
that should be on failblog hahahahahahahhahahahaha
This is not something to be made fun of, and I know every one ahtes the douche that makes comments like these, but if anyone needs our help instead of our bull shit it’s people like this. My mother could not read above a 3rd grade level until she started reading to me and my sisters. I know that sounds really bad, but she has a disability that wasn’t understood until after she graduated high school. There are plenty of people out there that are either too scared to ask for help or are too ashamed. Who ever took this photo should reconsider their motives, but still decide for himself whether he wants to un-post it off or not.
fial FAIL!!!!! hahahaha
Has anyone noticed FIAL??
The picture itself is fail. Look at the way it’s spelled.
The caption is also a fail. XD
It’s misspelled to make fun of the misspelling. Wow. The fact that you are judging others based on their mistakes is somewhat ironic, is it not?
lol my friend wanted $40 an hour for a casheir job and we started laughing at him and then said he wanted $20 instead after we told him it was too high
FIAL fail!!!
umm…
isnt THIS fail???
FIAL?????
erm…that would make this a double fail….
FIAL FAIL
SPELLING FAIL FAIL.
I doubt they’re worth hier than minimum