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WHAT is this person talking about?
He seems to think that daylight savings time ACTUALLY adds another hour to the day. I forsee a Darnwin Award somewhere in this guy’s future.
I remember when Congress voted to adjust the start and end dates for DST (and I’ll never forgive the bastards for that), I read a news article that quoted a Congresswoman or Senator, can’t remember which, as proudly announcing: “With this vote, we’ve actually created more daylight!” I had to read it twice to make sure I read it correctly. I think this was the same elected official that, when NASA was taking high-def pictures of Mars, asked if the flag that the Astronauts left was visible in any of the pictures.
*Removes Congresswoman and replaces with Representative to preemptively counter any Civics nerds out there*
Too dumb to omit his name.
?
That guy will vote for Obama
Duly noted
hes frop albruy what do you expect from someone whos mum is his grandmother
*removes entire government*
so who should we put in?
Fail Blog Unite!! With dihydrogen monoxide and killer rainbows in our water supply I hereby start an online petition to make Congress act. While they are drafting legislation we should also include the the superb suggestion of taking water from the ocean and dumping it down our sink to lower the water level as well as the jackhammers that are injuring our children. These acts simply cannot stand!! Who’s with me?
I love the Pen and Teller with the ban on dihydrogen monoxide…hilarious
excellent throw-in there about the jackhammers. Definitely one of my favorite fails of all time.
Dihydrogen Monoxide is bad, mmmmmkay?
it’s lethal in concentrated doses
and it’s infected everything, especially our water supply
I like dihydrogen monoxcide……
Good job. *awards Asinus ticket for free beer*
That will be 500 yen please.
Does that include pizza fingers?
No pizza fingers…but I’ll throw in x-acto knives in pretty colours….
Do you mean stanley knives?
But how would you say that in Portugese?
I like the proposal that to stop the sea-levels rising, everyone should go down to the beach and take back all the rocks they threw into the sea as a kid.
or maybe they should just get a cup of seawater and flush it down their
toilet.
That, and the one who said that we should all take a bucket to the ocean and bring back a pail of water, and dump it down our drains. Ya, that will help.
What about all the urine? Surely that helped as well
Excellent solution, make water into beer, drink beer …
here, here!!
I have the perfect idea for these people. What they need to do is read
more about science. The only problem is I know they can’t afford spending
so much money on books alone. So…if we only had some type of video
rental store but for books! Perfect! Then everyone would be smart!
Or better yet a place you could ‘borrow’ books for free and return them in 2 weeks when you are done with them.
are you kidding?
The Congresswoman who asked about the flag on Mars was Shelia Jackson Lee.
Actually she was kind of right. That adjustment allowed us to be awake for more “daylight,” so we could save more on our electric bills. Thus they created more daylight. Do really think an elected official could be that dumb, and yeah haha (for your reaction to that statement), but seriously come on.
Well, technically they created the CONDITIONS for more daylight, so that could be, in a VERY roundabout way, true. If nature didnt counter it by lessening the amount of sunlight hours/day that is
At the end, perhaps?
i think you mean darwin award.
or honorable mention
nope, definitly darwin award
I laughed so hard after reading this article… WTF did he think the gov’t altered our orbit around the sun? Or maybe tilted the Earth’s axis a little? Seriously, watch any Nova program on PBS.
Er, maybe he’s just pulling the reader’s pecker? If that turned up on the net it’d be all +5 FUNNY POTY. I think the last line gives it away.
For those of you who don’t know this guy sent this in to the paper as a joke to see if they would actually publish it. So many people wrote letters to the paper that they made a feature article about his prank. Of course this isn’t real. Ill give you proof if you want.
yes, proof please! I’d much rather know it’s a joke.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
I was so hoping the guy wasn’t saying that.
I was so hoping that there couldn’t be a person so mind numbingly dumb as a stump stupid in the world.
I even read it twice, hoping that I was wrong.
Oh dear god.
Don’t let him breed or vote or we’ll all be lost.
hah. I read it twice too…I did a “wwwhhhaaaa???” double take on it…
Yes he does and I can’t remember ever being more scared. I believe that the fine people of Australia need to take an audit of the science education in Albury…
Yeah, Darwin Award: First man to ever die from daylight savings.
I swear to you not ALL Australians are this dumb. In fact MOST Australians are not this dumb.
Its “Darwin” award… not Darnwin.
This guy could have been my biology teacher… (Heh, water and wind energy don’t fall under the category of mechanical or motion energy,and bio thermal energy is much different from thermal energy. Because, it isn’t the same thing as normal heat when you put bio in front of it. IT’S BIO HEAT BABY! [that's what she said])
Feel free to correct any spelling mistakes/misinformation in my post, I’m not perfect.
(Beware, when I become scornful/hateful towards human kind, I can be quite misanthropic [XD])
(English is a damn hard language[I've been trying to learn it for 17 years now, and I still don't get the full concept{maybe it's my tie|yeah I think it's my tie|}Maybe if I lived more toward the south, they wouldn't care all that much about diced English in their salad... {am I rambling|I think I'm rambling|}], so if you’re a new born and are reading this post, I warn you [with a capitol eye] not to learn English [find something easier to speak, like Klingon or something] You have reached the end of side A of this post. Please eject the post and flip it to side B to continue on with this ramble of useless data. [eject... EJACULATE! *MASTURBATES* no wait... I'll do it tomorrow *PROCRASTINATES*] [is now making a copy of this post just in case some script tells me it's too long {heh, if this thing is read before someone posts it, they're gonna hate me...|in soviet Russia, post reads you! *no really, ask Snopes"okay don't, this is like the cake 'it's a lie'"*|}])
If you just skipped the post to read this, shame on you, no cookie. If you read this entire post, and got to this point (without skimming or skipping) shame on you. I would have given up on this post about halfway through. I included enough fail in this submission to sustain Fail Blog for at least another month, and you go and read it. Your disgusting. *copies then clicks add comment, begin the analysis English Nazis, and feel disgusting/disgusted(if you’ve already read it)*
Darnwin?
If he can somehow kill himself with this theory….
Lol… you said it, Dustin.
WOAH. After reading that, I think I just got dumber.
You are correct, sir! You are dumber!*
*This service provided to you by FFBI
Failbloggers for Free Beer and Ignorance
That will be 500 yen, please.
I like how this guy actually thinks the government controls the sunlight!! Terrifying!
i 2dn taht
UMMMM what?
As an American living in Albury-Wodonga, the Australian humor takes some getting used to.
OMG this guy is an idiot, just like those Queenslanders who argue against daylight saving because they think it’ll fade their curtains.
He is talking about the Darwin Awards for stupidity. He has earned one himself as it is obvious that he is not able to spell properly. LOL
LOL. No. You don’t just get a Darwin Award for being stupid, idiot.
Ever thought he might be joking?
this guy makes me ashamed to be australian, it’s almost as bad as that american rainbow lady.
WHAT is this person talking about?
Demonstrating the Australian sense of humour
Fell for it, huh?
i was speechless, but your comment just about sums it up..
……I am so embarrassed. I live in that town… we arent all tards like that though……
He thinks DST adds an extra hour of sunlight. Some people are so stupid. This actually happened whe DST was introduced to Tasmania, there were a bunch of petitions and stuff, complaining about how it would bleach the grass and other crap.
hey maybe this is rainbow conspiracy lady again. or her husband. hell anyone in her vicinity probably loses 15 IQ points.
This is just a whole other level of stupidity……
I <3 this fail! I never thought anything could possibly be dumber then the rainbow conspiracy video, but look! Heee!
daylight saving ey? now i have to go home in the dark.
reminds me of the woman who’s curtains were fading because the sunlight was still strong when she went to bed a hour earlier, can’t remember but she might have sued the government. American past time.
Technically that one works if she only closes the curtains when she goes to bed which would expose them to more fading if there’s still a lot of light out when she goes to bed. It’s stupid to SUE over it, but she’s not completely out of line
my bad it was in New Zealand…still…
Always so quick to blame a stupid lawsuit on us yanks… just cause we sue cause we burn ourselves with coffee doesn’t mean we have the monopoly on frivolous suits
We might not have a monopoly, but we are definitely the world champs!
what are you talking about? my suits are impeccable!
Oh, darling…those HUGE lapels. And a bow tie? Really?
I like the whole pink plaid thing you have going there, though.
We kinda do, though. :/
Yeah, that’s what I thought at first, too, until someone pointed out that the lady sued because she received 3rd degree burns from the coffee. People are going to spill coffee on themselves from time to time. The point was that it shouldn’t do that much damage when they do.
That is slander! I am going to sue you know.
Look out for my lawyer.
It’s Australian no one in NZ is that Stupid
Albury-Wodonga, VIC is in Australia, not New Zealand!!!
And titty was referring to the woman who sued over her curtains, not this fail.
And this one is in Australia…..
Perhaps we can detect a Southern Hemisphere fail?
err, no, in Australia
aussies > kiwis
Albury is actually in Australia
err, no, is from Australia.
aussies > kiwis
No, it was in Australia. North eastern Victoria to be precise. Geography fail
Titty wasn’t talking about this fail. Following the thread fail.
Albury-Wodonga’s in Australia…
I think I recall one of the arguments put forward in Queensland against daylight saving was that the dairy cows would be confused and wouldn’t know what time to get milked. Obviously cows in NSW and Victoria are a whole lot smarter than Queensland cows; they never seem to have too much trouble adjusting.
One of the arguments that came out against daylight saving in Queensland was that moving the times would confuse the dairy cows, because, you see, dairy cows aren’t real smart and they’d just get confused by it all. Obviously cows in NSW and Victoria are a lot smarter; they don’t seem to have too much trouble adjusting.
When they were thinking of introducing daylight saving to Queensland, one of the arguments against it was from the dairy farmers. They thought that because dairy cows are none too clever they would get confused. Apparently the southern states have clever cows than Queensland; they’ve never seemed to have much difficulty figuring it all out.
This is because the British government has sold our hour of sunlight to the Americans. Don’t you know nuffink?
Well, they had to finish paying off the Lend/Lease program somehow.
No, we sell it to the Australians in autumn and then they sell it back to us at an inflated price in spring. The bastards.
Oops, name change.
Having an identity crisis, are we?
Yes, I can’t work out whether I’m Coming or Going.
I could help you with that.
By careful observation?
I’m pretty sure he was envisioning a more interactive role.
Ooo! Touch screen!
Well, half right.
Does that make me a half-wit?
Not at all!! I didn’t think you knew about the cyber-”romance” Loz and PoB have going, so I was pointing it out.
Better a half-wit than half-cocked, eh?
It was a happy half-wit. I do not think I could take a full wit. By the by, thank you for the tip this morning. I was very quick to pull the trigger on 3Q. And thanks for the heads up on Loz & PoB. I thought some of the posts in here were. . .well you know.
Ummmm…. 3Q was the troll. Sometimes we like to bait them. And almost all of the posts in here are… well you know.
Oh dear. I am a half-wit
There, there. Have another cookie.
*hands Maruis a glass of cold milk to go with the cookie*
At least we don’t think you are a troll!!
*doesn’t think you are a half-wit either*
And of his port as meke as is mayde.
a. . . a mayde.
And DW Je plains mon ignorance à propos de vous et l’amiral. Quelquefois je suis un petit lent.
Aw. I’m sure you never yet no vilonye had sayde
In al your lyf, unto no manner of wight.
And I like to play with l’amiral because he knows that the way to a dragon’s heart is through her brain. But, in truth, I am an unspoken-for dragon.
You give me to much credit. The French is High School at best and as for the Knyght (forgive me as I am much more at home with William) Men’s evil manners live in brass. Their virtues, We write in water.
Did I mention my cynicism is self inclusive?
Oh, virtue is overrated. Indeed, To flaming youth let virtue be as wax
And melt in her own fire.
I believe this not, for if you were seen and heard your hand must be taken
Thou turn mine eyes into my very soul.
And there I see such black and grained spots.
Myself, I found my Hermia many years ago.
I thought it was a mid-life crisis
Crap, she’s on to us.
We only have unlimited time to deal with this.
yeah but we sell you quality unfiltered sunshine, your “ozone layer” filters out all the quality vitamins.
bastards
darn it all, passing laws to make the sun stay out longer!
Welcome to MORONICA, where the sun never sets.
Must be in northern Canada, eh?
rofl
Eh… Sure. The name of the place is “Alaska”.
Ummm Albury-Wodonga, Victoria… is in Australia, seems we have just as high a proportion of stupid people
I didn’t realize our government had so much pull that they could actually negotiate with the Sun for an extra hour of daylight.
Actually they would have to negotiate with the earth and get it to slow its rotation.
Make the sun go away!!!!
“I believe the extra hour of sun is slowly evaporating all the moisture out of everything.”
lol
Soon we will all be giant talking raisins, I heard it through the grapevine.
Good Lord, no! Last thing our now overheated earth needs is dried fruit wearing sunglasses singing CCR!
I love CCR!
Want to see something really scary?
What, your Bad Moon?
Don’t look now, it’s Marius down on the corner.
No, this dihydrogen monoxide coming down on a sunny day.
Did you see what it did to the Green river?
With all that poisoned rainbow water in it they’ll have to change it’s name… how sad.
No, but I saw what happened when I was down on the bayou.
I heard it through the grapevine no one caught my movie reference.
The only thing I could think of was the Twilight Zone, but wasen’t sure. Not much of a movie buff.
Movie buff or not, you got it.
Sorry, Marius…I strayed off the path. Oooops.
As long as I can see the light everythings gonna be alright
As long as I can see the light everything’s gonna be alright
*snork*
Off the path? You’ll have to run through the jungle.
oh, if you go up around the bend, you’ll find it again.
Or Round the Twist? (Keeping in the Aussie theme.)
Was it in the tombstone shadow?
Um, could we at least keep the song reference where it rightfully belongs?
Composed by African-Americans and recorded not once but twice as chart-toppers by African-Americans, before scraggly white boys put their mark on it.
Mmm’kay? Just seems the right thing to do.
CCR Wrote a Song for Everyone
This must be where Batman Begins got their idea from…the machine just symbolized DST
“They have to do somethign before it’s too late.” ROFL!
Roffle!
I wonder if Daylight Savings is also to blame for the rainbows seeping out of the ground! Someone’s got to DO something! WHAT is in our water supply, our air supply?
LOL! I think I lost IQ points when I saw that video. These two have to be related or something…but sadly, it’s probably a completely different bloodline of absolute morons.
So what if the two of these idiots breed? Will we have a type of human complete immune to logic? I am very afraid.
I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to figure out how to breed. Nothing to worry about.
The sad thing is, breeding is one of the very few things they COULD figure out.
They always do. Unless they get a Darwin Award first.
It’s the only explanation for how many complete and total idiots are running loose, electing complete and total idiots to run the country.
*cries at the thought*
And that is why fools fall in love.
Wise men say that only fools rush in.
Three wise men walk into a bar …
… several hours three incontinent fools stumble out and try to work out where home is…
We already have that. They’re called creationists.
*sigh*
Why would you say this? Blind insults lack logic in themselves, which in turn points your “clever” quip right back at you.
Tsk tsk James. Look around you. While I firmly believe everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, I do enjoy laughing at them and in turn being laughed at. Be wary of those who take themselves to seriously.
One of the best comments from Barry Humphries IMHO “if you cannot laugh at yourself then you have missed the best joke in the universe”
I think you mean evolutionists.
Life started on the back of crystals!!! CRYSTALS I TELL YOU!!!
Well, I thought it was a brilliant comment. Made me roffle!
I had a feeling you would.
Hee…!
yes, creationists, running the country. Odd that creationists would have passed a legislature that does not allow creation to be included in textbooks, rather, Evolution instead, and all of the Bibles thrown out of schools. All part of thier little ‘reverse psychology’ plan, right?
That is called a separation of church and state. And, just so you know, the Right Wing is attempting to bring religion back into public schools. They just aren’t doing it all at once.
And they must…not…succeed.
Watch “The God that wasn’t there”
A very informative hour of pure rofling.
YES!
Darwin!
also, if you want to take it a step further, go atheism!
B.O.T.W.
Those would be our politicians….
Technically…that’s a little less than half the american population already.
Well, you know you’ll just be sitting there minding your own business and they’ll come marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass and you’ll be like – Hey! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!
Dude, what the hell are you talking about?
check the thread starter, duh.
Totally misses nested SP reference. Fail.
I’m talkin’ about rainbows!
I can dig it.
I can dig it.
LSD?
*LMAO!* That’s exactly what I thought when I saw this. Looks like something the crazy sprinkler lady would have written!
Make the sun go away!!!!
2nd
2th
How may I help you?
WIN
Ooh, can I have a wish?
*thinks*
*gives Dragonwriter a wish*
I hope I don’t regret this.
*wicked chuckle*
Heh heh heh…..
Yikes! Blue2th what have you done?
What…?
*innocent look*
Surely you don’t believe I would use my power for evil, do you??
…Bwuuaahahahahahaa…
*scootches away non-chalantly*
evil be thou my good *runs for cover*
I get the strange feeling you will.
I’m afraid this post would seem logical to far too many Americans…
Why do you have to enhance poster ignorance with your close-minded bigotry. Just cause we have a lot of outspoken hicks does not mean that your statement adds any value. You Fail Sir.
However, I find being in a society of idiots rather enjoyable. I think better of myself when I point out stupid things.
Note that yes, previous post is true, lots of people here are informed.
Come on, cut us some slack, there are idiots all over the world, such as the autor of the article being in Australia. We have a lot of the idiots, but not the worlds supply…. Though it would be cool if we could start exporting them.
yes I know I just screwed up spelling author. Damn not proofreading.
Fear not my fellow Americans. After we finish morally bankrupting ourselves and losing the last of our ability to influence the rest of the world, we too will be able to sit back on the remains of our country and cast disperaging remarks upon the next great nation that develops in this world.
Hear Hear! Well said old chap. Bloody good show!
Australia the continent?
or the country?
or the movie?
yeah, and the Italian are lazy, the French are snobs, and the Russians are hulking tyrants. Can we be done with the stereotyping?
Wow, first Rainbow effects in sprinklers and now Daylight Savings? What will they throw at us next?
all that white puffy smoke stuff in the sky is polluting everything… it gets soo bad sometimes it hangs by the ground, mostly in mornings, but disappears after a little bit because the people breathe it all in…
amazing
There actually was a special on TV (I forget which channel) that said something about how all the contrails left by airplanes were somehow a bad thing. And that these things are getting worse. They used paintings from various masters to prove this theory.
Oh yes, click on raelalt above for more info.
*facepalm*
You’ve got to give them some credit for having the imagination to be able to see conspiracies in just about everything.
Utter rubbish. What you see is condensate no different than what appears on the side of your ice cream carton, when you take it out of the freezer
I would like to point out, for the record, that I didn’t BELIEVE the report. Just that the report existed.
It’s OK Avis, we believe you. Don’t we guys? *looks around expectantly* Uj guys? …
I remember seeing this though I can’t remember where…
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA that was HILARIOUS!
Even if it was a joke..that is AWESOME.
Oh, Gawd, I HOPE it was a joke
The danger of satire is some people take it seriously. And apparently no one on this blog reads Snopes.com.
Too much time in his hands, too little of that thing in his head.
*removes first “in” and replaces with an “on”*
Your fooling yourself, I think this guy is a Crystal Ball and I think you should run while there’s still time. Just ask Mr. Roboto.
Triple Styx reference WIN!
He’s just a man whose circumstances are beyond his control.
He’s such a renegade.
Yeah, but only when Madam Blue isn’t around…
She’s a Lady.
She needs to Come Sail Away with me…
Okay, that’s it, I’m leaving. I must be on my way.
Haven’t we been here before? He’s just an angry young man, driven snowblind by heavy metal poisoning, rockin’ the paradise like it was still A. D. 1928. He’s a blue-collar man, thinking he’s the Great White Hope, wanting to sing for the day. Don’t let it end, leaving him just another man in the wilderness!
I would love to know where this guy got the Grand Illusion from that
would create more sunlight just by saying “Make it so”.
Don’t let this end
No, it’s you, babe, who art the lady.
Anything to do with Styz is a fail.
I had styz in me eyz once it were very painful
Is better than having a stick in your eye.
… or a frozen haddock
They have to do something about this guy before it’s too late.
Just wait a while HLP I foresee a future in Government for this chap. Probably Science or Schools… or even both. Anyone who can babble such material with a straight face is more than qualified
don’t worry – even if it is quite late it’ll be bright enough to see and stop him.
Someone who knows Chris Hill needs to send him that email outlining the dangers of Dihyrogen Monoxide.
chris_will-be_horny@gaymail.com
*dihydrogen; you should check your facts before posting
no one wants to mail to chris hill?
Dear Chris Hill:
Please teach QQQ how to be funny; I think he is 100% clueless.
Best Regards
It pains me to say this but…..That’s more than half.
Dear Chris Hill
Please teach Blue2th some additional science lessons. He is willing to learn and shows good progress so far with percentages.
Best Regards
Thanks a lot, I just laughed so hard I accidentally my pants.
Blue2thFairy FTW! Wow, I visit this site waaaaay too much if I got that reference…
I’m using fewer d’s to help combat Global Warming… you may now consier yourself to be environmentally inferior to me… now let’s get back to talking about aylight Savings.
No no, that’s CFCs, not Ds.
(Even though the hole in the ozone layer is actually helping against global warming.)
God I hope that’s a joke.
Not a joke. Scientific fact. I happen to be studying it at the moment, actually.
At its current size, the ‘hole’ is letting more long-wave radiation escape from our atmosphere than it is letting short-wave radiation in. It’s doing us a favour.
Obviously it can’t be left to worsen.
God, I hope that’s a joke.
Nice recovery!
*In best Elvis voice* Thank you. Thank you very much….
I agree! With so many deaths each year from such a dangerous chemical something has to be done. I mean, the MSDS alone recommends if you get any in your eyes it’s a MINIMUM of 15 minutes under an eye-wash station with clean water. When will the government step in and save us!?
Dihydrogen Monoxide is responsible for the presence of rainbows of death in our water supply. This cannot be natural. We all know this wasn’t something that happened twenty years ago.
.
This is all the government’s fault! Who knows what other chemicals and metallic oxide salts they’ve been putting in our water? We need to raise our voices and prevent them from taking away our CONSTITUIONAL rights.
And with daylight savings evaporating all the water everywhere, there’s going to be a lot of these metallic oxide salts left over from the evaporation.
This didn’t happen 20 years ago!
It was 20 years ago today.
*stares at screen in disbelief, jaw dropped*
‘e ‘oo.
It takes something to make eugenics look attractive…
*too shocked to even form words. Just nods.*
He obviously isn’t British. It rained the whole soggy summer.
He obviously is Australian, it says so in the picture.
He’s Australian, from Albury. It’s not just the US and UK, we have hilarious ignorant morons here too!
It is probably better to keep the morons spread thinly around the world. Reduces the chances that two of them might breed. OOOooohhhhh the horror.
Alert Al Gore!!! This is the real cause of Global Warming!!!
I mostly agree. Six months of Daylight Saving is too much. I propose an unlimited time of Daylight Spending. 6 months of unlimited time, to be more precise.
If we don’t use the time, will it carry over?
You’ll have to read your own contract, cost and participation may vary, contact your lawyer or health professional for further details, may contain more than 1/2 or 89% death crystals per service area, void where prohibited by law, must be 21 with valid driver’s license or proof of birth, see store for contest rules, may cause anal leakage, insomnia and fading, test a small area first then chew carefully, not all prizes will be awarded, companion ticket is not available with reduced rate, one entry per gallon, shoes & shirt required, available for a limited time. Hurry!
New from AT&T! Rollover daylight! *cut to commercial* Mother: Some people don’t have rollover daylight. You take that daylight in! I don’t care if it causes melanoma!
Excellent idea Lou! I think we should have the extra hour and or month to use as we see fit. Why should we have to waste it all on a stupid Saturday/Sunday? We could start another federal program that we can pay with imaginary money to keep track of this time.
So…stupid…WHY?!?!?
over exposure to the sun
I sincerely hope this guy is involved in a horrifying accident where his genitals are rendered useless. Stupid is the new health epidemic.
have you ever read eugenics?
I have, great book.
This is clearly a joke by Mr. Chris Hill. Please see a follow up news article http://www.weeklytimesnow.com.au/article/2008/10/08/13521_back-paddock.html
Joke or not… it’s funny.
Ah. And here I assumed that the lady who thought rainbows in her sprinkler water were caused by government tests in the water supply was the stupidest person I had ever seen…
o-0 I’m about to hold a contest for that title.
they have dst in australia? who knew.
Or even why. I thought they were knee deep in sunshine anyway. The Aussies seem to have been sold the opposite of us Brits. We gain it in the morning when we are trying to sleep, they seem to get it in time for the barbie.
umm…. knee deep in sunshine…? come to melbourne….
Only the southern states have dst. We hate it where I live it means getting up in the dark and it being dark again at 6pm.
We are close the the equator up here.
Err, everyone.
… or at least two of us and George B!
Exactly.
Uh.. lots of people? Everyplace in Oz does DST except for the state of Queensland, which has more daylight than it knows what to do with.
I would expect someone who lived there to notice daylight saving. For the rest of the world it is less interesting… or memorable
They’d have more daylight than the rest of Oz in winter, but slightly less than the rest of the country in summer.
More ways we can stop global warming!
Ban cows from farting. Major source of greenhouse gases.
Ban smaller cars! If everyone drove b i g cars, less of them could fit on the road!
Ban talk shows. Eliminate all that hot air. Bye-Bye Oprah!
Anyone else think of any others?
Ban computers. They emit heat.
Only use sunlight. Electricity is evil.
Only take cold showers, this reduces your heat emission.
Yes!!! Ban volcanoes from putting off greenhouse gasses. They cause more global warming than cows, chickens, people, and flying reindeer put together!!!
This has to be a prank or a joke or something. The date is not April 1, but a quick google search of “border mail” seems to show that it is just a humourous fake news site.
Spoilsport !
Aww.. you have simultaneously given me hope and ruined the fun of this…
Wikipedia seems to disagree. According to them, it’s a serious newspaper. There’s no vouching for their readers, though; this FAIL is from the Letters to the Editor section.
.
Ladies and gentlemen, you may now resume smirking and/or despairing at the state of humanity.
Well, it may be a real newspaper, but hopefully this is just some guy pulling a prank then. It really sounds too ridiculous to be true, more like something I would find in the April 1 edition of my school’s newspaper.
I did a search on the internet and found that “the Border Mail” is a daily paper in Wodonga Australia. The website is http://www.bordermail.com.au/
Bullshit. Border Mail is a Victorian newspaper on the border of Victoria and NSW, in Wodonga (Albury is just over the border).
First.
A bit shy of something really witty ?
LOL
Chris,
WTF YOU F***ING MORON!?!?!?
-Points of view staff.
Mr. Hill, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent letter were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this world is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I know this from somewhere… I just can’t place it
Please end my suffering and tell me where it is from?
Celebrity Jeopardy?
Fail
billy madison
Billy Madison
I’m sorry I can’t hear you. I’ve been physically abused in the ear.
Billy Madison
billy madison… his “final”.
Billy Madison
Billy Madison
If you’re still wondering, it’s from Billy Madison. I shall now continue on my quest to end suffering.
Billy Madison reference…..how perfectly fitting.
Ha ha, I thought the whole point of Daylight Savings was to save money and energy on artificial lighting?
Poor chap.
Kath, no, daylight saving is so politicians can think they are Gods. It is not for the benefit of us poor mortals, too stupid to work it out
This person may end up being president of the united states.
No, he’s already had his two terms.
Damn you, Julian calendar.
DAMN YOU TO HELL.
This Chris Hill dude is an idiot.
1st: He lives in a remote part of the eastern australia region.
2nd: He believes that there is an extra hour of sun added on. that is true in a way, considering that for daylight savings, we sacrifice an hour of morning light to have a longer period of natural light leading into the evening.
3rd: I think the article may have an error in it.
“It is so logical, for six months of the year we have an extra hour each day of that hot afternoon sun.”
Now either it should be worded as a question, I.e: “Is it logical, that for 6 months each year we should endure an extra hour of hot afternoon sunlight every day?”
Or he is contradicting himself by saying that he enjoys the extra hour of sunlight 7 days a week, 6 months a year.
Lol I don’t know, but this guy fails at attempting to sound important lolz.
He doesn’t live in ‘remote part of the eastern australia region’. Albury is a city near Melbourne.
Expecting an American to know geography FAIL.
*reads further down*
Looks like I FAIL.
(New from Apple: the iFAIL!)
Albury is not that close to Melbourne, its on the border to the next state (New South Wales)…
I meant ‘near’ in relative terms. Compared to the rest of the country and the other major cities, it’s very near Melbourne.
Near… as in 4 hours drive from Melbourne.
… you sir fail. albury is located on the murray river which is bordering NSW and Victoria. (and if im not mistaken, isn’t that a rural area??)
Loz is a madam, not a sir.
Read my comment above.
And rural and remote are not the same thing. The majority of Australia’s coast is highly populated. You want remote, head inland.
Yes. Relatively speaking, compared to the distance between the Sun and the Earth, it is just a tiny space between Melbourne and Albury. You win this battle Loz.
… which is, funnily enough, considered part of the “eastern australia region”, lolz.
And 3 hours drive out seems pretty remote to me.
Welcome to Australia.
Albury is about a five hour drive from Melbourne. It is remote by most world standards, by not by Australian country standards.
Precisely.
Bang half way between Melbourne and Sydney actually, so about 400km from each. Traffic to and from goes right through. Nowhere in south eastern Australia really qualifies as remote though.
Anyway, anywhere that holds an occasional queer night can’t be considered too redneck/remote.
albury is not near melbourne. its on the boarder of NSW and VIC. its about 6 hours drive from melbourne.
Australia is itself a remote part of planet Earth.
It’s not *that* near Melbourne. It’s like 330km, a good 4 hour drive.
No no, that’s the last thing we should do! This friend of mine just told me about a threat to our survival as a race. Dihydrogen oxide is going to kill us all!
The really scary thing is that people like this actually BELIEVE what they are saying and vote.
And his vote counts for exactly the same amount that mine does. Scary indeed.
Is that Cloral as in Pendragon #2 Cloral?
OMG LOL!!!!
I can’t believe someone thinks daylight savings time actually adds an hour of daylight.
I bet George Bush could make the earth rotate slower if he wanted to. After all, he is the king of the world, right?
well, he DID make gas prices come down soooooooo……..:-)
George Bush did that? I misunderestimated him!
Yeah, I think he has a knob in the oval office that controls the price of oil. (At least he did when the prices went up)
No, haven’t you heard his speach, it’s a magic wand. He denies having it, but we can all see the evidense of its existance now.
Ah ha! I knew he had it. Bet my wand is bigger than his though.
Guys. Alway thing that *theirs* is bigger.
and even “think”
Well, to be fair, guys do think about their thing a lot.
Well it is right there in front of us all the time. Kind of hard to just ignore it, especially when it gets insistent.
It is also within convenient reach
I resemble that remark
misunderestimated? That sounds like a Bush-ism….
By the way, the previous post was my 1st post on this forum.
Neat site this is =)
A friend of mine showed it to me while we were doing our Practical Exams
I’m also relatively new here, since a couple of days. Already had a lot of laughs.
Btw, I thought “neat”was considered a very uncool word. I was told only Kevin Costner still uses it nowadays.
LOL, perhaps uncool, but when said in a New Zealand accent, can still be socially acceptable. i think
What does a New Zealand accent sound like?
Well, take the number 6. Most english speaking nations say it as SIX, where as in a New Zealand accent, it sorta comes out as SEX
I see, I’m begining to like this accent more and more.
Yes, and they say ‘fush and chups’ instead of fish and chips.
(How do you not know a New Zealand accent? Are you American or something?)
*slaps Loz*
The Kiwi accent is sexy as hell…right up there with a lovely Scottish brogue!
I love it more than I love the Aussie accent, much to my dear lady-friend’s incredulousness and dismay. Hehe!
Hee…poor fluffy!
You’re getting the NZ accent confused with the Australian one…
I used to live in Cork, Ireland (Joisey born and bred) and people from home would ask me how “dreamy the Irish accent” was. Considering the Cork accent sounds like a crow on crack my usual response is “It takes a couple pints to make it palatable” – those pints going in me, that is. Many times a Cork friend got utterly pissed and I couldn’t for the life of me understand him.
I always thought it sounded more like sux.
In that case, I offer you my apologies. As you will have guessed, I’m not a native english speaker. (And the KC reference was from “In bed with Madonna”)
And what are you studying to become and where? Just so I know who to avoid later.
Erick, was that a preemptive strike?
Erick, was that a preemptive strike?
Marius, I’m seeing double!
I’m believe my computer has that user error virus I’ve been warned about.
Yes, we Americans are known for our preemptive strikes
When I hear ‘practical exams’ I immediately think of medical personnel, so I want to know who to avoid. As they say;
Do you know what they call the person who graduated top of their class in medical school? Doctor.
Do you know what they call the person who graduated last of their class in medical school? ….
I’ll bet this guy sent it in as a joke. Therefore, he did not fail; rather, we did, as did the newspaper editor.
The serious website is over there, next to the tampons.
I lol’d
Possibly, but there are also a lot of troubled people out there. This might be written by a paranoid schizophrenic.
Like the idiot with the rainbows in the water.
ASSHAT
ass-hat
A general term for someone who carries out actions with such stupidity that they might as well wear their ass as a hat.
Pete begins looking for his sunglasses, unknowing to the fact that they are on his head. He asks Ed where his glasses are. Ed takes them off his head saying, “You are such a fucking ass-hat.”
Yeah, Pete’s kind of a douche.
Man, I can’t believe I am living in the same country as that guy.
Australia.
Where is your evil twin?
C. Hill is DEFINITELY of Queensland descent. Their history of arguments against Daylight Savings is both ridiculous and hilarious. For example, one of the first arguments that were bought against it by the lovely folk from the north was championed by a group of housewives who were worried that the extra hour of daylight was going to mean economic hardship as their curtains would fade faster and need replacing more frequently.
LOL, if i was a paranoid schizophrenic, i’d get an RPG Launcher and try shoot the sun out of the sky =)
I wonder if he is like that character from that movie “The Benchwarmers” where the dude is scared of the sun and tries to cut up the girl scouts for their cookies. LOL
Suggestion to Chris Hill: Try nuke the sun
120588 Don’t be silly, that would make the sun hotter. What he needs to do is pour water on it with a large watering can. No Worries!
oooo, he can use sea water to lower ocean levels. It’ll be just as good as pouring it down the drain.
Oh yeah, this made it onto the talkback radio.
That’s a massive fail there.
LOL radio, next thing you know, its on channel 10 news and published in the Daily Telegraph =))
Hell, how the heck did the editors allow this to publish?
Even daily telegraph has standards!
try the NT News then. they have NO standards whatsoever. every second day’s big headline is about UFOs.
I believe i can sum up this picture in one word:
WTF!?!?!?!?!
Correction: 3 words, as WTF is an abbreviation. Fail =)
Depends on how many drinks you’ve had before you try to say it.
Hey…whassamatter??
*hic*
What you guys talking about? I think he raises a valid point. If only more people would think so logically about the state of the environment.
Obvious troll is obvious.
I’ve got it!!
Ok, so instead of taking a bucket of water from the ocean and dumping it down our drains to stop global warming and the imminent flooding…
We take that bucket of water from the ocean and toss it up into the air, thus creating MORE moisture which will combat the extra hour of daylight that is evaporating all the moisture everywhere!
Although…. we’ll be polluting things even more since the water has all those dihydrogen monoxide rainbows polluting it…
not only that, bit will also cause the earth to dry up and start cracking, hence making it useless for growing crops =S
…and we can all open the doors of our fridges !
So, I guess some of us are NOT of God’s perfect creation. Not the brain, anyway.
Just the perfect parts of me are perfect.
perfectly alright with me
That’s perfect.
Meanwhile, in Soviet Russia:
“It’s sure to be twelve,” Shukhov announced. “The sun’s over the top already.”
“If it is,” the captain retorted, “it’s one o’clock, not twelve.”
“How do you make that out?” Shukhov asked in surprise. “The old folk say the sun is highest at dinnertime.”
“Maybe it was in their day!” the captain snapped back. “Since then it’s been decreed that the sun is highest at one o’clock.”
“Who decreed that?”
“The Soviet government.”
My translation says “Soviet power…”
Every skool kid knoes that the days in summer are longer do to the heat that makes everything expand, including the days, duh!! That’s the vishus circle of climate change: the hotter it gets, the longer the days become, the hotter it gets.
So? *thinks about this conjecture* Hmmph!!
Well, if that’s true, then you should go stick you dick in a fire and soon you’ll be the envy of all!
Try it, let us know how you do, OK?
Tried it, and what can i say? It worked. I now have one big black dick.
OH! I thought that was a Fire Hose!
Come to Suzy!
Mr. Hill is apparently forgetting, however, that while we do indeed get an exta hour of that hot sun in the evening/afternoon hours, DST has tahnkfully foreseen the inevitable problem with this, and has responded by providing us with a concurrent extra hour of DARKNESS in the early morning hours!
Now in’t that a thoughtful solution to a potentially hazardous situation? Mr. Hill really ought to think his hypothesis out more thoroughly next time.
Ah but you see, the afternoon sun is far hotter than the morning sun, so surely we must all be doomed.
And since we have an extra hour of darkeness, and more crime generally happens under the cover of darkness, in essence the government is to blame for the crime rate in this country.
Since Congress can pass a law to make the day longer, maybe they can pass a law to make it rain more!!!! LOL
For the love of God, as soon as the chance presents itself, we must rid our planet of these people. Or at least make them pass a test before they are allowed access to public forums such as newspapers and the internet. And please don’t let this moron anywhere near a voting machine!
or a ovulating human female
Or an empty Popsie flask
WHAT?!
Oh… *remembers* never mind
…or an ignorant male. By the way, it would be “an ovulating female,” in order to be proper English grammar. Maybe we should have a written exam before we allow people to vote.
Let’s have a look at that shall we? If all of the things happened, that you stated above, what else would you spend your time on if not commenting here? Introspective fail
“We can’t really make a law against stupidity, but maybe we should just take
the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.
I really hope he’s a troll… That was just too painful
Cutting-out-irrelevant-information fail.
but the other 6 months of having that one extra hour of LESS sun when we go back to standard time would even it all out. duh!
I hope you don’t seriously think that is how it works.
Noo!! You have MORE SUN in the summer and LESS SNOW in the winter!! That’s the double evil of summer time!
hahahahah xD
One of my buddies and I were talking the other day, and I kept saying things based on the assumption that at least 90 percent of people are completely stupid. He wanted to be more optimistic. I just need to collect things like this and put together a slide show entitled “Theory of Global Retardedness Pandemic” and present it to him.
Yeah, it’s the global conspiracy of idiots. I wonder if THEY know.
Probably only the pseudosmart ones, because they’ve heard somebody else say it so they’ve memorized it so they can spit out the phrases here and there to try and look smart to any potential retard in the area to mate with.
I’d say you came to the right place.
You could do a whole thesis just based on the material from failblog.
*jams paper into typewriter* …working on mine right now…
“Impressions of Internet Inanity on Imbeciles “
*ping*
You have a machine that goes *ping*!
Yes. we keep it in the fetus frightening room
it’s there to keep the rough towels in a neat stack. Other than that, it’s not much use, really.
But it is very expensive.
Global Retardedness is the real cause of Global Warmening…
Global Whattening, now?
Mesa thinking yousa no seeing the subtle point hesa wasen trying to maken. Mylady Antipodes wasen equating Gunganspeak with retardedness. Mesa agree.
*hopes that none of those tedious movie debates ensues*
Hmm. . .looks like a cheap shot at men to me.
War men only.
Is merely my own personal nesting fail.
*sighs, hits self with faded curtains*
I thought this was too damned funny, so I showed it to my assistant yesterday … who saw nothing wrong with it. Thought it made complete sense. I thought, “She must be kidding me!” Alas, no. Sigh. Now I’m going to have to monitor her work more closely.
izzyboy is among that 90%.
Haha, i wouldnt be worried, that kid is actually my friends cousin, he’s about 10.
Wow. This is either epic fail, or an awesome example of Aussie irony with the writer trying to take the piss out of everyone.
I have been to Albury. Have pity on the man.
Mirrors, tons and tons of mirrors… Reflect that stupid heat stuff back into the atmosphere… There’s your solution…
oh science fail.
“reflect that heat back into the atmosphere”. are you serious? the earth is emitting heat that it got from the energy it absorbed from the sun and this heat is then trapped in the earth’s atmosphere by greenhouse gasses like water, methane and co2. so reflecting heat “back into the atmosphere” would only increase your problem.
but here’s where your other fail could help you. typical mirrors would reflect mostly visible light (and not heat) so your idea could work in theory, it would just require a many, many, many mirrors. antartica is actually like a natural version of this, too bad it can melt…
whenever i see things like this i get scared.
they let people like that vote.
Chris, you have a point here – If we play God and “add” hours onto the day, not only will be get older 100 percent faster but we will also dehydrate our mother earth. Im bein super serial!
The letter is fail, but the newspaper is win for publishing this bullshit. I bet they did it so everyone could laugh at this guy.
And then they voted.
For those who wonder how America could have elected George Bush TWICE, I give you Exhibit A.
Oops, geography fail, this guy’s an Aussie.
uh oh. the government extra hour of day. this us 60 minutes of free unlimited sun for 500 yen. plus, the dihydrogen monoxide the rainbows. what should i do?
the government extra 60 minutes of free unlimited sun for 500 yen. this the dangerous dihydrogen monoxide and killer rainbows. this could sales of minors. what should i do?
This fail has already appeared here. Previously it was in video form:
http://failblog.org/2008/09/08/conspiracy-fail/
95% of the people who posted comments, and of course the original poster(sorry Stacy), get a giant “Ability to recognize satire” fail.
This is wrong on so many levels; not just the misunderstanding of DST, but also the misunderstanding on how evaporation works in the atmosphere.
Are people really this stupid? It’s like the crazy lady in northern California that thinks rainbows aren’t natural and are proof that the government is experimenting on us (somehow).
what a retard!
holy crap.
… Its talking about Australia to all who didn’t know. We’ve been in drought for a very long time now. I still find the pun funny though
To whom ever said Canada GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
Why are these people allowed to breed? Sigh….
This is a spin off a a satirical piece written by an Arkansas attorney, per http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/daylight.asp
c/mon folks
Christ, I’m supposed to be writing a psych 360 paper but 99% of my brain is now limping away in pain. That’s more than half!!
I see what you did there.
This was a joke by the paper – they admitted it in their next edition.
every single last one of you fail.
That was a JOKE JOYCE!!
…maybe you get off easy because one of the longstanding ritualised debates is over DLS in Australia, particularly in a border-town like Albury where sometimes half the town is in a different time-zone to the other half – but only sometimes.
Fail Fail Fail You All Fail.
Gee guess what? This is a JOKE SITE. Go back to your humorless cave.
Albury is a border town now?! Wow, I guess South Australia just shifted its borders 700km and didn’t bother to tell us.
Uh. yes. It’s a border town. You’ve heard of victoria and NSW right?
It turns out this was a daylight savings prank written and published by the paper. I believed it at first too, until a friend of mine rang the paper to find out if it was legit. It isn’t. I think they published an explanation in a following issue.
Brain hurt… after reading this…
Why did an aussie have to say this? WHY???
To give we poor, abused, and downtrodden Americans a break.
Please…give this to us? Just this once…??
*puppy-dog pleading look*
I bet he’s an American expat
Oh Loz, you’re better then that.
(Thanks…I didn’t want to say it. Again.)
There’s something about pleading puppy dog eyes that just makes me want to kick ‘em. I couldn’t resist.
Fine. But that was me you kicked. There’s a fine line between good-natured kidding and being a bully.
…why so srs?
I thought it was a funny joke
*hugs*
*thinks longingly of being an American expat*
or you could just try and make the US a better place… you know that civic
responsibility that seems to make the rest of the western world a good
deal more sensible.
Well, we can vote to make our voices heard….but individual votes don’t count for much.
We can try and effect change in our cities, but the key word is “try”.
And if the election goes to the right (AGAIN) we’re all screwed.
Out of curiosity, what do YOU do to make the US a better place?
Really? Oh, my goodness. I hadn’t thought of that.
I’ve been too busy teaching university students, tutoring graduate and international students, creating and teaching ESL workshops, writing novels, articles and book reviews, volunteering for the campaign, standing in front of medical facilities so that doctors and patients can get inside safely, and helping out the campaign here in my town.
And still I’m considered an idiot by most of the rest of the world. I’d love to hear your ideas on what else I should be doing.
Overachiever.
Hee! :p
Dragon is a classy lady in a class all her own here
I honestly didn’t mean to sound like I was bragging…it just irritates the HELL out of me when people make assumptions like that.
*hugs understanding friends*
*smile* and as for being an expat well .. its got its ups and downs
I have to go back to the states at least once a year to visit friends and family and take care of my cravings that are distinctly American … i.e. Waffle House!
Hate to spoil the party here, but the letter is actually tongue in cheek. Chris Hill is friends with my Dad and sent it in as a bit of a joke. What’s happened as a result of the letter is hysterical, talkback radio has been lit up with calls affirming what has been written as a laugh.
This guy is obviously on drugs.
It’s things like this that make me want to leave the planet.
This is worse than the woman who thought the reason she was seeing a rainbow in her sprinkler was because there was something in the air or water. And I didn’t think it could GET any worse!
HAHA ! I thought of that exact same thing! See three comments down! xD
Or see several of the other comments above…
I’m sure it was covered in the original picture’s comments, but there is something in the air that causes it. It is called “light”.
WOW, how stupid can you get?
Apparently very stupid… which in itself mind-blowing. lol
Come on guys, read the other comments. It’s a JOKE!
Is this idiot related to that other idiot in the video that was nattering on about how the government was putting stuff in her water and thats why the sprinkler system was creating rainbows on her yard?
Izzyboy… putting “retardedness” in your title would sound… less than intelligent. I would use “Stupidity.” ^.^
WTF? Chris Hill…did you have to say where you were from? I’m embarrassed to admit that I live in Albury NSW Australia…trust me we’re not all stupid country hicks!
This is apparently not Australian. It is a direct copy of a ironic/sarcastic/witty letter found in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, inspired by another letter from an Aspen newspaper.
See this link for details:
http://snopes.com/humor/letters/daylight.asp
A chance of correct but mostly wrong for today. The fail is from an Australian newspaper. And it is not “a direct copy” of an ironic/sarcastic/witty letter ro any combination there of. It is similar and the gist is the same.
.
Anyways the link is worth reading, more so than 99% of the comments on here.
ah kumaha sia weh beul !
Speaking of daylight savings and Aussie hicks, I thought you guys might get a giggle over the reason that Queensland (the northern easterny sort of bit) doesn’t have Daylight Savings…
The farmers in south-east QLD insisted that the cows wouldn’t know when to get milked. Lolz!
lol yet another completely ridiculous argument from those oh-so-logical queenslanders
Damn those farmers! I live on the Gold Coast, and I want Daylight savings…