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Cheezburger Company Blog
Spank me? Spank you!
You’re welcome.
Before we starts… are you Ralph Larsen or the son?
I actually own the Universe of Colors next door.
I am so not sending my children to your playgroup.
lol… can i come?
Keyword: NOT.
Oh the fails I missed while away. Now I have so much catching up to do.
Tell me about it. October 30th marked my return after a month long absence.
errr no comment
Fail…
Why? Is this your establishment?
It’s mine
Oh Daba, I’m disappointed in you. Why did you go all the way to America to do it though? I’m sure in England there’s a lot of demand for spanking.
There is, but I though I would expand the franchise. Global conglomerate, you know.
thought*
Yeah, I noticed that, but there is no edit option. Damn typos.
I would like to put in a bid to supply you with grail beacons
Oh, you’re with Zoot & Dingo’s Quality Beacons?
Yes, we’ve recently teamed up with swallow delivery service for world wide shipments.
could i have some coconuts?
Loz, she means that it’s a fail that the man said “no comment” when he just posted a comment. The FAIL was a WIN!
Kinky sex FTW
First to shout “First” !
you fail at being the first to shout first
Way to belt it out.
No, I did that at home about an hour before your post, but I will let you in on second.
Spank me*
Cheers ! Bottoms up !
“Ralph Larsen & Son, Inc. is pleased to announce our move from our Belmont office to the newly remodeled Historic Spankme Building in downtown San Mateo on November 13, 2003″
Due to sagging profits, we will be taking measures to firm up the bottom line.
They are heavily invested in the Support Hose market, and taking a beating!
They must tie-up those assets then they can whip this in the end
Fortunately the CEO has a firm hand.
ooo … that’s strike two!
They will not be shackled by the falling stock market, nor restrained by flogging…er, I mean flagging prices.
Well, if we get laid off, everything in the office that’s not chained up… I mean down… is going into my dungeon.
But if we are going down in your dungeon, how can we keep it up long enough for the market to come back?
We must keep stoking the fires of interest in our products
*tries to find the naughty innuendo in Marius’ comment*
There will be no need for layoffs, but we will have to adjust the asset allocation of the employee retirement plan.
Hm. So are you making plans to retire so you can examine my assets?
I’m sure your interest is purely pecuniary, of course!
If you are so inclined, your suggestion has given me a capital idea.
That idea is a credit to your way of thinking, and I can guaranty not to over-tax you tonight.
I love the way you value my input on our joint ventures.
*stands back and takes stock*
Oh my…that is some impressive inflation you have there.
Let’s take advantage of our inflation-linked bonds.
*holds*
I’ve been on PINs and needles…now we can roll over together, equity-ably.
*hangs laissez-faire sign on outside of door*
Actuary, IRAther think we should call room service before you hang the sign. What do you think…prime-rate rib with champagne and strawberries?
Tiny bubbles are fine, and I would like to regain some liquidity. After that, we can enjoy another soft landing.
You have my total appreciation. Let’s get under the blanket and lien into each other.
ROOM SERVICE! *Walks in on bear market* Oh I think you should pull out before the market slumps.
EEP!
Someone brokered in!
*clutches blanket to cover assets*
*Flashes SEC badge* You have been caught in the act of insider trading. *Strips dragon assets* The penalty will be hard on you.
*Reminds Marius of his longevity risk while shoving him out the door
*hangs sign back up*
Ah, my heroic Admiral! I am in your debt.
*shares assets without reserve*
*Shakes fist at door and growls* Compliance will come in the end. *skulks off to await new administration*
Investors riot! S.W.A.T. called in.
Hopefully they won’t buckle under stress.
Spanking! Sex for the celibate ! All new low price! Prices have hit rock bottom!
Butt wait! There’s more!
no no NO!!! no infomecials in here
r* (see what they do to me) *shakes head and has more coffee*
I sense a lot of underlying trauma here. Did you fall off a ladder once?
Yes, I purchased one of those stupid fail ladders that never lock until you hit them with your face.
Funny you should say that, I’m testing one of those things out and everything is going perfectlvbvfdzesr
Ow…
This ladder needs to be fixed. Let’s put it in my car (it’s the Subaru with the log bumper) and drive it to the shop.
Shotgun *bang* damit!!
*hands SYN a Shamwow*
It holds up to 21 times its weight in blood. . .er. . .liquid. Handy when I try to do anything with the other products I buy.
Is it awful that I’m considering buying a set of Shamwow towels? Because for some reason, I want a set or two.
Yes! It is absolutely reprehensible and from here on out you shall be judged solely by your choice of absorbent cleaning cloths!
…Wait.
Okay, not. It’s not actually that awful, so go ahead and buy ‘em. I’d be interested in hearing whether they really work.
I need to get a job first. THEN I’ll buy a set. Thank God for family that can help out when you need it!!
Ohh, by the way, tonight’s dinner was turkey meatloaf, my own creation.
Its good to see their are others that feel the importance of family that I do. Turkey meatloaf sounds good as well as healthy. Enjoy!
‘Twas good turkey meatloaf. We had it with baked potato and lemon-sage green beans. Ground turkey is an unusual substance to deal with, by the way.
And no it is not awful. The man with the funny hair is very persuasive. I do not think I could resist buying if I saw him in person.
I think I like the idea of using them as bath towels. That and cleaning up all my spills, I’m a little accident prone.
MMMMmmmmm. Turkey meeeeeeeeatloaf!!
*drooooooool*
I have one of those “dependable” families too…plus I have the added bonus of actually getting along with them! Actually, I adore them and count myself incredibly lucky.
Oh we get along. Really we do. Usually. I’ll post the recipe for the meatloaf on the blog in a day or two.
Would you be interested in our head restraint products?
Do they come with matching merrywidow????
Do you have something that will hold both heads?
my offices are in suite #306.
The law offices of Spankem, Blowem, and Hard.
Hey, I’m right across the hall, in Dewey, Spankemm and Howe. You should pay me a visit… I’m certain we’ll hit it off!
That was beautiful. Tears are in my eyes.
Hey you guys do business with my firm Likette, Hardar and Moore
They probably do.
I’m with Fleece, Gogh and Deefer.
Ahh, right across the hall from the Indian outfit of Deepar and Fashtur
My firm Peters, Johnson and Cox is on the floor above them.
Aren’t they affiliated with B. Endover & Taekitte?
Yes…and their partners are Grin & Barrett.
I hear they had bad dealings with Philander & Cuckold
oh dang… Anita Pea & Mylexia Crosst
I know that firm, they just merged with Holdit & Skweaze, but a hostile takeover from Leakey, Drippin and Floud might be in the works!
I heard they just received an injunction and holding order from Huggy, Pamper, and Luvs.
They are really dependable. So none of the details have leaked out.
Just as long as Makollig Jezfahted & Levdaroum doesn’t hear about it.
I know a couple of my ex’s would enjoy this building.
So would your mom.
^ WIN
Zing!!!
Meh, it was mediocre at best.
OMG We found the office of Pedo-bear!!
Ryan failed. The ad posted is for playgroups. But still, children are involved. On with the spanking.
Uh, Fail Blog Fail! It’s a playGROUP not playground!
Yep, another fake fail from failblog. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz get some new content, people
Great picture, needed no caption. Was win before the caption. Now the whole thing is fail. Failblog–if it wasn’t fail before, it will be after we get done with it!
If a failblog fails on the interwebz and noone is around to read it, is it still a fail??
Buy the SHAMWOW! You will not regret it. I’ve had a set for 5 years. Indoor or outdoor usage, they are fantastic!
This building is 300 8th Ave, San Mateo, CA. You can see the signage on Google Street View.
I wonder what the building gets instead of spankings… maybe it gets whipped?
I don’t think there’s a whipme building…
…That’s pretty close to where my friend lives.
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i wann ago there
call me on 0423905666 now when u see my number
that name gets horny
does fatty want sum cake with a cherry on top
yes
gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygayagygaygaygaygaygaygaygayagaygaygaygaygay
HOLY CRAP! ITS THE PLACE BY THE OLD SANTA RAMEN! CRAZZZZYY!!
its actually a playgroup that’s attached, not a playground… failblog fail