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first is last
second place is the first loser…..so that makes me…….CRAP!
^^^ haha loser
wait…that makes third place the 1st second loser
you are all so lame…
And you are so cool
You know, if you need to get the fire ex., just LIFT THE TABLE FIRST.
Or TOPPLE IT OVER.
You know, if you need a brain, just DON’T LOOK IN HIS HEAD.
Or TOPPLE IT OVER.
It has a wooden bottom to it.
What, his head?
there is no wooden bottom, unless its cleverly disguised as the granite flooring. also in the case of most glass top tables, the glass top is more than likely eaisly removable granting relatively quick access. i like the idea of having simple puzzles separating humans from safety, as our world is being further created to save and protect idiots, natural selection has been replaced with no selection, which could account for so many first posts in all the comments.
+1
-10
what are you a fool? or a digital photograph materials reconstruction agent?
magician? there is clearly marble underneath the table. Wooden
bottom probably better describes you, liar liar pants-on-fire!
lol i used to make brain jokes…then i grew the hell up!
Into your face!
The lame shall walk & the blind shall see………
Altogether a DUMB DAY!
thats weird, i posted 2 comments on here. my second one is still here… oh well i guess i can reidioterate what i asked earlier about being able to ignore or delete the first comments that seem to appear everywhere. i mentioned something about a quote like if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all , and i proposed that we change it a bit to read more like if you dont have anything relevant, insightful, or at least not first second or having nothing to do with anything other than …. what exactly is that? that need to post first without anything to say other than first? i mean really? can someone explain the need for humans to be seen at any costs? jerry springer montel williams…. what ever happened to natural selection, why do we try to idiot proof the world?
tl;dr
-5
The kid with the fire extinguisher in his locker grew up to be a restaurant owner.
And the fire extinguisher is a little less shy apparently.
It’s become quite the exhibitionist!
And it’s in a cage. Is this a restaurant or a fire extinguisher’s “gentleman’s” club?
I hear the fire extinguishers are abused and not paid a fair wage.
That’s why I put the word “gentleman’s” in quotaion marks.
Thats horrible
You would have preferred parentheses?
I think TFF has taken exception to POB making the club for one man only instead of sharing
The Fire Extinguishers we sell are treated very well.
Where all fire extinguishers can go for their BDSM treatments…
Where’s the red lock and the Fire Extin sign?
unnecessary abbreviation win!
Actually, reference to earlier fail, win.
what you are looking at is the inside of the locker
There’s a resturant inside the lockre
“Lockre”?
That’s British for “locker”.
yea lockre
the locker is a TARDIS?
yea. they serve mice and have a special booth for one. also they serve a
free cunt breakfast. and i heard they have great Ho-made baby’s for that
special grardaughtr’s birthday.
Getting the joke FAIL. Go watch Dr Who for the answer.
Raelalt: Reference WIN!
at least now i can put out the fire in my pants
Sir Please leave the fire extinguisher alone.
But Hot-Pants are sooo 1972!
It’s a glass top table, and we all know that “In case of fire, break glass”. I say not a fail, but a creative fire extinguisher storage win.
Trying too hard to be funny fail.
Lighten up, Francis!
Uncle Hulka?
“Stripes” reference WIN
sheesh it’s not like I made a soviet russia joke. Don’t flame me bro.
B3nd 0v3r and I’ll show you a Soviet Russia joke…
Are you going to shoe him your short range ICBM?
*show
^^ WIN!
*gives inverted spear some black forest cake*
In Soviet Russia, joke bend overs you!
On Planet Earth, your joke fails.
On planet Earth, your joke wins.
in soviet Russia your joke fails earth
in Soviet Russia, joke ruins YOU!
I agree. This is a creative win.
After all, in a fire, you’re not going to worry about spilling a bit of food or maintaining the structural integrity of a glass tabletop.
screw it. if a fire breaks out, I say let the m*th*r f*ck*r b*rn d*wn
Juses… it’s a disemvowelment.
ll
NARF!
Poit!
ZORT!
Or maybe tilt the table up and get the extinguisher out at the bottom? Duh. Remind me not to be in a fire when you guys are around.
OK. Be in a fire when we’re not around. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
LOL; what ever happened to BOTW failblog entries?
People weren’t nominating.
Can we nominate our own?
Sure you can, Lamey McLamerton.
I had no intetion of actually doing it, it was just so … I would know!
Intention*
Mm-HMMMM.
*gives Retaba a skeptical look*
Don’t look at me! I’m slightly paranoid.. it bothers me when people look at me!
I can understand paranoia…
My dog will sit and stare at me for nearly an hour when I’m trying to get some work done at times… And not it’s not because it needs anything or wants to play, it just will…
It’s rather creepy at times.
I feel like people are hiding in the bushes outside my window and I constantly look out of it to make sure they arn’t!
I think I’m paranoid…and complicated.
.
No, I take that back. That’s Garbage.
Where is this place? Are you supposed to clean your tabletop with the provided cleaner? Ewww. And what is with that giant pipeline?
It’s in Alaska. It wasn’t just wilderness that they spoiled to put in that pipeline!
and if you look out the window, you can see russia
So that automatically means that everyone living in Alaska has great foreign policy knowledge…
You betcha! *wink wink*
*starts to strangle pob*
GOTCHA!
…oh… sorry… I thought you were someone else for a second.
*gasps for air*
That’s…*gasps*…okay. *gasps* I felt kind of *gasps* dirty typing that. *gasps* And not dirty in the good way either.
(I didn’t know Loz had the G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip!)
I was just trying to exorcise the Failin’ out of you before it was too late!
Oh, Failin’ could never possess me. (A much smarter and cuter woman already came along and possessed my heart!)
*beetroots*
*wonders what the roots of a beet have to do with the discussion*
*wonders how the roots of a beet can be used as a verb*
I’ll give you a clue. Think of the colour of beetroot…
*facepalms*
Over here we just call them beets.
(BTW, did you catch my Sublime reference earlier?)
(No, I’m not a Sublime fan…)
You two! In the back! No whispering, pay attention to the board! -taps the board with the pointy stick-
‘the board’, is that what you call her? That’s not very nice.
What? She likes corporate role-playing…
Oh, we’d better behave or we’ll get detention!
*thinks it over*
*misbehaves*
I’ll just have you beat the erasers, for hours on end!
*beats off* the chalk…
Wait… what is this, the 80s? Chalkboards?!
*Runs in takes out eraser and beats it*
Lucky chalk…
Beat on the chalk,
Beat on the chalk,
Beat on the chalk with an eraser block…
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh oh…
Joey woulda loved youse two.
PoB fun fact: Although I’ve lived in WA for most of my life, I did live in Utah for a few years, including the first semester of my sophomore year in high school. The school’s mascot was the Cavemen, but that’s not nearly as bad as the mascot for one of the school’s confrence rivals. Their mascot? The Beetdiggers.
The school’s Web site was easy to find. Sadly, there was no image of this mascot.
I found an image!
http://www.eteamz.com/JordanHS/images/Dan.gif
WOW. . . that is quite the beet
I’d bet you’d rather she just caress you down, huh?
Yeah. Too bad she doesn’t dig Sublime, because lovin’ is what I got.
Just be patient, Date Rape is not legal!
Date Rape? That’s doing it the wrong way. I’d never give it to her if she didn’t want to, she didn’t want to, she didn’t want to take it.
Well, until then, why don’t you meet me on Sunday morning for church? It’s being held down at the bar.
Wait, are you hitting on me?
No, just offering solace in an alcoholic form… really! NO, really!!!
No….. ‘e be offering ya a tidy sum of money for your beetdiggin’ skills.,.,..
for hot dates only table
well there goes my chances
Well then this is a waste *rips ear tag off*
Ah geez, we’re going to have to tag him again. Do you know how hard it is to tag a wild Marius?
Keeping caught up on previous fails FAIL.
*goes back to his intimate study of the wild Loz*
*is startled by a rustling in the nearby bushes*
*spies pob’s binoculars*
*runs off*
I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go!
Even if you are temerarious, it takes awhile.
But it’s possible right?
Ooh. Now I’m feeling somewhat reckless…
I’m feeling a bit heady, myself.
Well, let’s hop in the Chevy Caprice, and drive off into the sunset!
I just hope it doesn’t precipitate.
We’ll just put on these hats and have a madcap adventure.
Okay! Just be careful when you drive…I’d like our adventure to be wreckless.
I promise to transport you with great care.
I trust you. I’ll pack us a lunch, shall I?
*packs a picnic basket with wine, cheese, bread, and for dessert, some hasty pudding*
Please excuse my pell-mell gear change with transport. I was enraptured by the smell of honey wafting from the dessert you have prepared.
I am in transports over your transport. And over these flowers you festooned me with! Mmmm…I love the scent of rushes and honeysuckle.
Dragon’s pudding brings all the boys to the yard.
Did someone say pudding??
*drools*
Does anyone hear bells?
*Pavlovs*
OMG THAT HURTS!
Ooo! Sorry! *gives bandage and shot of popsy to dull pain*
Who needs ketchup? Windex makes a great condiment.
Yet another brain-dead discussion will ensue….
LOL my brainz died
One thing we won’t have to worry about, zombie attacks!
[zombie]
durrrrrr… fail… nnguhhh…
[/zombie]
and their gons …
I have to disagree. In the few months I’ve been posting here, the topic of brain death has rarely come up. However, if you would like to start such a discussion, feel free. It seems to be an area of expertise for you.
Listen you vegetable, we don’t carrot you think. We stick together.
Yeah! He can Schiavo-off for all we care!
(*fears he may have crossed the line with that joke*)
Line was crossed but I lol’d anyway.
I still think Blue is asking for a beetdown.
I don’t think you’re funky enough to lay down that beat.
I don’t think you’re funky enough to lay down that beat.
Play that funky mysterious-double-posting music, Failblog!
*Does a little dance – Makes a little love – Gets down tonight*
*goes to the cinema tonight*
Saw V better be worth my hard earned cash!
Not a big Saw fan myself but friends say is okay
Wanna play a game?
me: no
then FUCK YOU!
*kills me*
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I saw V a couple of years ago. It was good.
*Ding* Round 1…..FIGHT!
Woo! I got my money riding on you! Win this!
It’s not all doom and legume!
Lettuce rejoice that so many new friends did turnip when we joined this community!
*whoosh*?
I thought we were doing vegetable puns.
Your comment was at the bottom, I wooshed it! Aren’t you grateful?
Oh, I’m berry grapeful! (Ok, those are fruit puns and not vegetable puns.)
*smooches*
I thought the “whoosh” was supposed to be the sound of something going over one’s head.
Better than the Jeff Dunham “neeyaowwww”… on a stick!
Yeah, I make the “whoosh” sound when someone doesn’t get a joke.
*tries with celery-ty to get the thread back to veggie puns*
I carrot believe you just said that!
*adjusts halo, sprouts wings*
God asparagus all!
Yes, more veggie puns, less cucumber-some misunderstandings!
I mustard leaf’d through this too quickly and missed it!
Lettice be done with all this silliness!
Gah… Lettuce… Finger slipped…
Good god, don’t you people have even a chard of decency? These puns stink worse than cabbage!
We fear the wrath of the mighty Dragon, so we are trying to a-peas her!
*blink*
I have wrath? …Really?? I thought I was more of a warm, fuzzy, punny, flirty dragon.
Dang. My face is now a rather radish/pinkish color.
Daikon attest to your gentle nature.
Aww…thank you, my admirable Admiral.
Maybe later we k-endive into some of that aforementioned flirting, mm?
That would bring bok choy-ful memories.
Oh good…had you answered any other way, I would have bean quite cress-fallen.
I yam just a comment-tator trying to keep up
Someone must have squashed this pun run.
Ah comment fail, by the time I get down here it’s too late.
Yes, let’s get back to the puns, if you peas.
Oh, wait, am I to late tomato a comment in this nest?
Never too late to say what you leek. I always turnip late to these threads too, by the time I get to work in the morning.
Yeah, me too. The rest of the Failbloggers really have a legume up on us, don’t they?
*sighs* I’m never on thyme
I can barley keep up.
I yam surprised to see you here so late.
I yam surprised to see you turnip as well
Worst fail pic on this site! Actually, I bet you don’t even have to break glass, you probably could just lift up the table and BEHOLD!! a fire extinguisher! This is no fail. I typically don’t see fire extinguishers just lying around for you to trip on.
Worst fail comment on this site! Actually, I bet you don’t even have a brain and its just a empty shell and BEHOLD!! Nothing! This is a fail. I typically see a comment filled with BS
You two are so cute when you’re green! With envy…
umm thanks
I think the fire extinguisher is one of the greatest phallic examples, ever!
Example of what?
The phallus…
What kind of phallus are you familiar with?
That’s what I was wondering… poor Retaba…
There was me thinking the penis was the greatest example of a phallus.
Tragic accident in my youth left me genderless
And do you have a Wasp Factory to play with by any chance?
Obscure book refrence win? Because I don’t really know what else you’re hinting at…
You are right. My favorite Ian Banks book, btw.
I prefer Dan Abnett to all others right now
I mostly prefer Gene Wolfe and Jeff Vandermeer, but I like to taste the reading of many writers (maybe in the remote hope to improve my English)
Where you from, lou?
Madrid, Spain
Ah, very nice. I prefer Barcelona
*sighs*
I really wish I could afford to travel.
I’ve been Utah and some other states up north, but never out of the country… I think the fact that I look way to damn young for my age would get me sold into child slavery somewhere
Now if only I could learn German! Ich spreche nicht gut Deutsch!
Oooh. loufail, we have the same taste in books!
I’ve met Jeff Vandermeer. He’s a really nice (and surprisingly ordinary) guy.
Have you read China Mieville?
Have any of you even heard of Dan Abnett?
Who?
-tears at the eyes-
No, no don’t rip them out! Oedipus did that once and it didn’t really let him see the situation any clearer.
*re: Spain* Barcelona is the only place there I visited so far and would definitely recommend it to anyone. Now if I could just learn Spanish or Catalan since everyone there insists on talking to me in it
Sure, Barcelona is a nice place to visit (I’ve done it several times). And I dontt speak Catalan neither. (and yes, Dragonwriter, I have read China Mieville
)
I don’t speak Spanish either
that’s why I prefer to go to France, where I can actually have a conversation and not unintentionally offend people.
As opposed to intentionally offending people.
Precisely.
OTOH, the phallus is not as bad example of the penis
Hey wait a minute,I said one of the greatest… I left room for others! It still works..
Bend over and I’ll show you the greatest example of a phallus.
(Actually, this happened on a previous fail.)
Skiing buttpipe stabby? Yeah, that was a pretty good phallus example.
Actually, I was referring to a much older fail (or more specifically, the comments from a much older fail), but I’ll table the discussion for now. No need to get bent out of shape over it.
In that, much like a phallus, it will emit a white substance when correct pressure is applied, sure. But there aren’t very many similarities beyond that.
Right onto hot pulsating fires!
They have a medicine for those “fires” now
I’ll give you a hint, what I was describing starts with a v and ends in agina!
I think inverted spear was talking about something that starts with an S and ends with a TD.
WTF? Failblog comment posty fail.
WTF!!!!! Failblog has become haunted and now eats and sh!ts out your comments in inappropriate places! I guess at least it didn’t popsy on my face.
Its ok, I got where it was meant to be placed, I also got that he meant an STD…
I think failblog might have an STD. *shakes fist at haunted comment nesting*
Quick! Break the glass and get the fire extinguisher, we’ll put this STD out…
Awesome! *breaks glass*
Um…anybody got a bandaid?
Why sure, I help musicians out all the time!
I don’t see how that will help all the blood, though…
Hahaha. “Bandaid”, it is a silly word.
What restaurants has windex and tissues on the table instead of the traditional condiments?
Well, at least you will not have problems when the tissues catch fire. And perhaps the bottle really contains petrol or something.
The ones on Uranus.
restaurant not restaurants.
I wonder if the green liquid on a bottle over the table is a condiment or a glass cleaner…
New and interesting way to store absinthe?
Damn you, that’s the second time we’ve clone-posted today! Get out of my mind!
I thought you were replying to my observation, Psyker ftw!
It’s absinthe masquerading as glass cleaner. The hussy.
Wow, you saw through er facade!
Sex Ed would be a whole lot different if they instituted absinthe-only education.
Oh lordy, another severe case of BDT (ba-dum-tsh!)
PoB fun fact: A few years back when I was working at market research job, I called a woman whose last name was Hussy.
Was her first name Ima?
Or mayhap Brazen?
Scarlet?
LOL at all of your guesses. No, her first name was something ordinary like Jennifer.
She was listed as a Mrs., though, implying that she married into that surname.
Fake fire extinguisher. Oldest joke in the book. The thing is crooked FFS.
My grandfather talked about pulling that joke and he retired 40 years ago.
Fake brain. Oldest fail in the book. the fail is a failure as well.
My grandad talked about your failure.
Yes, , it’s a old joke, sorry you all live such sheltered lives you’ve never heard of it. Some day you’ll all move out of your parent’s basement.
Ah, the old “parents’ basement” joke, my grandfather talked about that one…
We can’t really build basements where I live, you dig right into the ocean!
Cool indoor pool
No thanks, I prefer heated pools, myself!
If you lived in Iceland it would be a heated pool. Or anywhere with a lot of geothermal activity really.
My grandfather used to pull practical jokes in Iceland all the time!
At least they were practical jokes. I don’t like it when people pull impractical jokes.
my grandfather used to say “pull my finger” in iceland…that explains all the geothermal activity.
I am partial to impractical practices practically all the time
And now that Torch Man held his deadliest enemy on a cage, the whole world is in danger.
Please Aquaman come to save us!
i think he’s dead
Damm!!!
* flees in panic *
Run away!
oh god…
Torch Man:god cant help me now!
*you
No no, you were right the first time
Wrong move, bud. We need Ordinary Man to lift the table up.
not so funny, can be better!
i don’t see how this is a fail.
in order to get to the fire extinguisher you have to break the glass…
this is how it is everywhere in the US…
more like creative decor win than a fail…
so nowhere in the us is there a fire extinguisher thats not covered with glass?
Some are inside metal lockers.
Convenience fail
This might not be a fail. You would have to ask the manager. Or, start a fire and see what happens. Maybe there is a secret logic.
Lol, another Fire Extinguisher fail.
It’s getting a trend! xD
The time you spend reading this blog of old/pointless pictures, or gawd help us, contributing to the discussion… You could be doing something useful. Maybe learning, developing, expressing yourself in art. Science. Philosophy.
Sit back for a second. Think about what you’re doing. You get some kind of satisfaction from seeing some mindless remark you made, hoping against hope that it will impress a few 12 year old diggers.
I just hope for your sake you aren’t hooked on b3ta too, or gawd help us all.
*masturbates* (double post) (TREBLE POST!) (yes, I’ll be checking back – believe me, I don’t have anywhere better to be ;o). Bye.
OMG!!!! DAD?!?!?!?
You got me. *masturbates harder*
*Slams door. . .goes looking for sharp sticks for eyes*
Good heavens. How extremely presumptuous of you.
There are people posting here with PhDs. Do you have one of those? There are writers and scholars and artists who post here…if you actually bothered to listen to what some people here have to say, you might know that already. But I guess you’re too busy admiring your ivory tower to think that anything resembling social interaction (and yes, there is a lot of that here, too) can be worth anything.
*scootches out of firing range*
Not to mention some of us are at work while we are reading these and it beats the hell out of actually doing work
.
And it does exercise my brain whenever we hit a good, long pun run. It gets harder as it gets longer to keep it up.
You know, you could have written a poem in the time it took you to write and post that.
Or, you know…cured cancer or something.
*cures cancer*
*writes poem*
Bored at work staring
mindlessly read fails
comments post in hopes acceptance
*accepts!*
*hug*
*shines a light … beams*
Sorry to drag you down into the gutter with me. . .but. . .you two should write romance novels with all of the innuendo you have packed into this string
Oh, you don’t have to be dragon me into the gutter…I’m pretty much already there.
Well, in my time as a commenter here on Failblog, I’ve learned many new things, expressed myself in art, and discussed science and philosophy with intelligent and witty people whose unique perspectives and worldviews inspired me to reexamine my own, and in doing so, I have grown into a new and improved version of myself.
Therefore, I award you with an original YARPOF:
You Are Retarded, Piss Off Failblog!
New and improved? I didn’t think that was possible!
While I agree, I also learn useful Engrish (puns, insults, jargon *still wonders what scootch means* ) from smart and witty people; and from those grammatical corrections people kindly does around here
*chuckle* Hear! Hear! Well said by all.
As for ’scootch’ well that would be a form of a colloquialism… you can blame (or thank, as is your want) Dragon for that one.
I am YARPOF. (Yet another reprehensible poster on failblog)
to scooch is to move aside thou not as fast or as far as scooting and not to be confused with a skoesh which is somewhere between a smidgen and scads
wonderful
i don’t like this red color
Red color, to be seen where ?
There’s also a little green fire extinguisher on the table, especially for you.
in case of fire, break glass…
this isnt a fail! dumbasses it could be at a hooka bar, you just reach in andpull the lever… fail!
I see no fail. Just pull the glass of the table and get it out. It is kind of hard to think of in an emergency, but I’m drunk and I thought of it. So, NO FAIL.
Handig