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Cheezburger Network Blog
Well if you have no friends…
…you may as well talk to a brick wall.
All in all it was just… a brick in the wall.
Pink Floyd WIN!!
Pink Floyd Fail.
We don’t need no tables for eating, we don’t need no room for our legs.
Hey waiter leave them customers alone”
If you don’t take your seat, you can’t have any pudding!
How can you have any pudding if you don’t take your seat!
But…but where will I put my meat…?
*ponders the inevitably pervy responses*
*posts it anyway*
That’s what he said.
There, I didn’t want you to be disappointed.
Whew! Thanks, coyote. I was worried there!
mmm… pudding…
I’d like to be seated on the Dark Side of the Room.
WIN!
Sorry, its full, but Wish You Were Here.
Is that where the Stairway to Heaven is?
…and watch it walk away from you
Talking to a brick wall? That sounds a lot like my attempts at flirting with girls back in high school.
or maybe a portal gun
… just don’t try to order the cake -_-
The cake is a lie…
But they are serious about not poking the cake!!!
Don’t laugh!
:[
Srsly.
…Can I poke the pudding, then?
Cake is not a lie. There is a way to get to the cake. Look it up, alternate ending
Urinal cake???
The whole thing??
(And inverted spear is right…I got the cake!)
And you even get to keep weighted companion cube. I miss my weighted companion cube
We do what we must because we can.
They need to make a game that crosses Portal with Half-Life, they occur around the same time… How hard would it really be to make a game where Chell and Gordon work together? Maybe even make bonus areas where you can play 2-player, each person being one of the two and working together in one area… Okay, that’d be awesome.
No friends… and no legs.
I think my legs would fit in there.
Mine also… if I learn some yoga first. Then we would think of where to put the food and the drinks
B3nd 0ver and I’ll show you some yoga.
(I think that’s the first non-sexual ‘b3nd 0ver’ joke.)
Thanks for the offer… however after thinking twice I conclude that is not quite safe bending-over in the proximities of a failblog entry.
Usual suspects won’t be named
B3nd 0ver and I’ll show you a failblog entry?
No deliveries in the rear, please
Well can I just park it there for a bit?
Didn’t you see the ‘No Idling’ sign?
Violators will be towed…
*finds $50*
Woohoo! Drinks are on Lunchbox!
You find the money so you can pay the fine when you go ahead and park it in the rear?
*pours top shelf for all*
Drink up, friends and mates, for tomorrow brings… something!
Wooo! I got here just in time for drinks!
But…um…I’d much rather have an actual drink than this two-by-four you gave to me. Not to sound ungrateful, mind.
Lunchbox bought everyone a round of Popsy?
Late again? *lies down on bottom shelf and naps*
B3nd 0ver and loufail will show us a downward-facing dog.
Your legs are very becoming. And if they were wrapped around me, I’d be cumming too!
Table for Lt. Dan?
He might like the shrimp special
Maybe he should just pray for shrimp.
“But you ain’t got no legs, Lieutenant Dan!”
He got magic legs now
or no legs
meh.
<.< Well, that’s one way to stop the F!RST comments… have an intelligent person comment first.
Customer: The service here is horrible….. I may as well bang my head against a brick wall.
Waitress: Sir, that section’s over here….
fkgjisr508yt
Did you try to type first?
And you were nervous… So you failed!
Epic. That was the most pathetic attempt at a “FIRST!” to date, and it didn’t even work.
*golf clap*
Fell asleep on key board
Narcoleptics UniZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..
LOL!
Don’t joke, it’s a serious conditZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz….
Pay attention Chris!
Now I want you toZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
yes you have to do that
What?
Is it my face?
What do you mean i have to follow the trend?!
Thats stupid I would never
*someone fires tranquilizers*
I…I…CraZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*Tags ear and releases into the www*
huh? WTF am I?!
It’s okay your free now just *BANG* SH^T ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
‘Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathea.
He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of
Aaaaaaah’.
He must have died while carving it…
Nobody puts Baby in the corner…
But what if Baby needs a time out?
Then you put baby in the child-care dumpster.
But not on Mondays…or the weekend.
You send him to kendergarden to develope.
But, it’s so emo there! I’d be really worried for them!
You send him to Missippi to raise his literacy, then?
Or put him in an inconvenient booth
Then you beat baby over the head with a brick until baby thinks it’s in the fucking corner!!!
Lonely, party of one, your seat is ready.
If they want no food. there’s no table!
That looks like a nice place to sleep though *nod nod*
Sometimes all you need a place to do IT… that offers a soft(ish) place to lie down and some privacy but not totally… exhibitionism win.
You mean lying down with a laptop?
You could say that…
*imagines lying down with Loz atop his lap*
*hopes she doesn’t have a pop-up blocker*
*imagines*
*temporarily removes pop-up blocker*
*comes*
Come together right now over me!
corner for missy sissy pee. Is (s)he still here?
… m’kay wtf? I think I missed something here
No they did… a table and legroom.
Talk 2 t3h wallz? aw3sumz!
Cause the face ain’t listening.
“Nobody listens any more. I can’t talk to the walls because they’re yelling at me. … And maybe if I talk long enough it’ll make sense. And I want you to teach me to understand what I read.”
You are so hot, you go all the way up to Fahrenheit 451.
[Ignorant American]
Which is like 69 degrees Celcius!
[/Ignorant American]
[TMI Service, PoB Edition]
Actually, it’s closer to 233 degrees Celcius.
[/TMI Service, PoB Edition]
Everyone on the FailBooth!
you all have it wrong, it’s where you hide after going on a blind date with an ugly girl…
So, this is where all of the boys you date end up?
Hm… I do believe this constitutes a “DAAAMN!” and perhaps a “Oh no you didn’t!”
or it could be where you hide while going on a blind date with an ugly girl, to lessen your publicity and thus save yourself some embarassment
But there’s no window for the woman to crawl out of when she realizes that she has to spend an entire evening with a shallow, self-absorbed boob with less personality than the decorative flower arrangement!
Well, I guess that’s what restrooms are for.
For those who need no leg room!
Haha, amputee catering.
Now if only they would provide a pop-down table…
*eye twitch* … Please don’t use my name
Oh crap, time-clones!
*groin twitch* identical twins!
You should probably get that looked at, could be bad
Urh, that’s strange.
Yeah I been using that name for a while, even provided the email.
That’s werid.
*stares at, and ruffles his beard* so this begs the question……… which one of us is the evil one?
I think… you just answered that question…
Ah, but a vagabond without a beard is hardly a vagabond… so I propose the only solution to this problem can only be… a beard off! May the best beard win!
Sorry, bud, but everyone KNOWS that beards = evil!
You may as well make peace with it and give your soul to satin.
*ponders* …….. I guess your right. Well, I’m off to eat babies *waves good-bye*
Hey, you don’t have to go anywhere. There are some fresh homemade babies in the refrigerator aisle!
Why does this remind me of an original Star Trek episode. I don’t know which one of you is the real Kirk. *boggle*
Also…if you see a ? running around, please redirect it to the end of my first sentence above.
I found it! *hands over ?*
This is a stick up! Give me all of your ? now!
All your ? are belong to us
These are not the ? you are looking for.
Hmm…sorry…these aren’t the ? I’m looking for. Thanks for tyring to help though.
How did you know I need a nap? Are you spying on me again? You know about that restraining order… don’t make me call the cops and have your parole violated!
Relax, sweet thing. Have a drink.
*hands Lunchbox a two-by-four*
Everyone knows the evil twin is always the one on the right.
Wait, my right, or their right?
could be up or down too
up and down also counts
Quarks?
How strange.
strange……
UGH! Lag time fail!
S-Y-N stealing my brain-thoughts win!
Bottoms up!
*drinks*
Yes, I am quarky.
When you’re strange, faces come out of the rain.
Well, many people -do- say I’m quite Odo…
*glares at Dragonwriter* I have my eye on you!
I’m innocent, I tells ya!!
Um…what was it I didn’t do, now?
*innocent look*
When you say “get that looked at,” are you telling titmonger to arrange for a meeting with a surgeon or a porn film studio?
A porn film surgeon!
Handsome Male Doctor #1: Ma’am I’m afraid it’s bad news… You need immediate treatment, those panties have to go…
This may sting a little…
You may feel a little prick.
*whips off panties*
*kathybates*
Why did my ankles just start hurting?
Dr. PoB is here to give you a thorough examination, ma’am.
*examines chart*
Let’s see here…patient name: Loz. Says here that you’ve been expriencing whiplash in the groin. Have you recently had your panties whipped off? Yes, I see.
*takes a moment to enjoy that visual*
Well, I know of a medicine that will surely make you feel alot better, but it’s vitally important to get the dosage correct, so I’ll have to administer it personally. In the mean time, you should get plenty of bed rest. And don’t worry, I am more than happy to make house calls.
That’s not medicine.
self burn
Just a little pin prick.
There’ll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
*grin*
Just relax and I’ll administer the injection
Gee doctor, thats an awfully big needle! Are you this won’t hurt?
Don’t worry, Miss. The pain will only last a second, then it’s all pleasure from there. For a long, long time.
If you say so…
*sees “needle”*
*faints*
You won’t feel a thing… til you wake up, that is.
Epic double post! Sad double teamed
It seems you have a cavity that needs to be filled.
Warning: prolonged exposure may lead to fever, euphoria, fatigue, increased appetite. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery immediately after use. Consult your doctor immediately if side effects last fewer than 2 hours.
Consult your doctor if you have an erection that lasts over 8 hours
I think the other Vagabond has been here longer than you, I’m afraid to say.
True that I haven’t been watching the comments since the beginning of fail blog but I haven’t seen anyone else since I started posting back with FreshPrinceofBelAir.
*sighs* Sorry to get so defensive if that’s the case
Hmm, I don’t know, I could be getting you two mixed up.
Blender blended mixed up?
Will a blender blend?
How many blenders could a blender blend if a blender could blend… blenders?
Ask willitblend.com
Willitbend.com refused to comment on that statement.
Willitblend.com said the same thing
‘willitbend.com i know i will!’
I just suggested it
We can be a circus act!
You might also consider a musical number or two.
♪It’s enough to make kings and Vagabonds believe the very best♫
I prefer Metallica’s “Where ever I may roam” *nods*
Doppelganger! How do we tell which one is real?
Quick, ask a question only I would know
One of them always tells the truth….and one of them always lies.
I -always- tell the truth >>
Are you wearing a watch?
♫ It’s enough for this wide-eyed wanderer, that we got this far.
LOLspeak plz
no.
How about ha-ha code?
No. And no ROFLwriting either.
-sigh- I always seem to fail at normal talk
Do you talk like you type?
What? No, I type like I talk
What type of talk are we talking…typically?
My typing kind…
But, do you talk as kindly as you type?
So what kind of kindly talk are we talking about typing here?
Chucklechatting?
Gigglegossiping?
Snickersprechen?
Mirthmumbling?
TeeHeeTalking?
Looks like someone’s a little lost.
Directions FAIL!
The booth is designed to kneel down on and say ones prayers…after meals in the Highly Suspicious Restaurant.
For all we know there’s also a wall to the left of the picture with a similar booth and the guy sitting there has no limbs !
NONE?
How will he eat?
WAIT! That’s IT!
It’s a booth for armless and legless people.
They won’t be able to feed themselves so why have the table for food?
oh that is sad
I agree, a red booth wouldn’t have color clashed so much…
Yeah, and I didn’t even discuss him having no face.
- my dog has no nose
- how does he smell ?
like a dog?
Maybe it’s a wall sitting at the table, minding it’s own business, having it’s dinner. Anyone ever think of that? Or is a wall not allowed to have a tasty treat every now and again?
and if you listen closely, you can hear the wall cusing out the other wall that stood him up
That’s no wall… (select amusing punch-line of your choice)
A) that’s my wife!
B) it’s a space station!
C) In Soviet Russia, table sits at YOU
D) A jar of almonds
I ROFL’ed. Whose Line is it Anyway? FTW
Suck it, Trebek!
Wrong show >> but thanks for playing. The correct answer was E) Richard Nixon
Thing that sound like a dick?
V? Well, despite your best efforts, V is actually the roman numeral for five, so you win. Let’s see what you wagered…
Oh, no! Lunchbox, did you catch the qwerty malady?
Nope, mine stretches from Z to Enter… thanks for your concern!
*has the strange feeling he missed the joke again*
*poke*
You poke, you pay!
Come with me to the dark side…
I’ll take Jap-Anus Relations for 400!
ONE OF THESES DAYS! BAM! ZIP ZOOM! STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!
Racists.
Exactly. That’s why you don’t see too many walls eating alone. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
Remember the one with the female black jewish wall in the wheelchair?
wasn’t she the transsexual gay man?
I think she’s called Mrs Shabooboo now.
Ali Abooboo?
This brings back memories of the great Kicking Fail waAAAay before my time. I still cringe when I remember that.
EW. *remembers*
Dirty chav though, totally deserved it.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
In Soviet Russia, wall tear you down.
Why yes… yes it did
That looks comfortable.
100th!
Well now I think I know which of the two Vagabonds I’d rather have around…
*sigh*
*sits a little too close to Cloral* do I… disgust you?
Only when you make ordinal posts.
It’s a booth for assassins who are still transporting their victim. The assassin sits and eats, while the corpse lays behind him.
When making reservations, interested parties need to specify that they want the “John Wilkes” booth.
that took a bit of a set up, I’ll have to deduct points for that, but the punchline was solid, so… 8.5
And I guess that makes the wall a “Lee Harvey Os” wall ?
Yep. Also, the booth is a bit squeaky, fromme an incident in the 1975.
Is this restaurant in the Book Depository building?
It is. And with a location that great, they make a killing.
True, but I always get a Hinkley feeling whenever I walk by there, like someone is watching me!
You really should Foster happier thoughts.
I think I’ll aim a little higher in my life, thank you for the advice.
Yes, always aim Hayer. It will make you a happy Chap, man.
Of course, it is the place where only the litterate assins gather.
Ah, I see you just assassinated the English language. Can I offer you a booth?
No, I really think he means a litterate assin. I know a couple of litterate assins myself
Looks like a perfect booth for Bartleby the Scrivener. And he wouldn’t need a table because whenever a wait person asked if he would like anything to eat, he would just say, “I would prefer not to”.
Ahhh… I always love a good “Bartleby the Scrivener” reference.
*?!?!?!?!?!?*
you wouldn’t happen to be a meaty-breasted zilch would you?
lol……It looks like a place hobos would sleep
my cover is blown… fail
Looks like a perfect booth for a couple of paraplegics.
Um…paraplegics still have legs, you know.
Yeah, but they can’t feel it when you break their legs and bend them backwards so they can fit in that booth.
I have an idea. You would have to be the one sitting right next to this wall booth. If your eating with kids and they misbehave, this wall booth would make a great time out booth because you wont have to worry about sitting them in a chair in the corner facing the wall. They will allready be there. A perfect time out booth. Also if anyone knows where this photo was taken let me know in these posts…
I took the shot. It’s the New East Buffet in El Cajon, Ca.
It’s from a restaurant in El Cajon, CA- The New East Buffet.
Looks like the seat I had last time I was on a plane.
its like talking to a brick wall oh i am talking to a brick wall
… Its not a fail; you pile unwanted children in that seat. ^.^
I’m surprised nobody’s said that this booth is “Reserved for Emos Only”
so this is what they mean when they say, “hit the bricks,”…
|the kid|
great place for a nap if you’re the boss.
“Sir! What did I tell you about leaving your designating seating area? I’m sorry but I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave the restaurant.”
LOL
INGENIUS!
WTF
“Brick in the wall restaurant. We don’t serve food, we serve WALL!”
i wanta eat there
I’m gonna bother to point out I didn’t really put watches in my above post.