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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST BITCH
What happened to the second b*tch?
Please stop arguing about non important things. Nobody is concerned here for the “Keep Refrigerated” message on the poor babies boxes?
Little children need a warmth environment
At least they put ‘perishable’ on the side, to warn buyers they will have to care for it.
Buying minors cost money. However they do not advertise the price. This is another important issue to debate.
I’m more worried about the fact that they are in the meat section.
I was under the assumption that salmon was a kind of fish.
Mmmm the home made babies are the tastiest ones.. Even when compared to the fee range babies.
but they’re so high in fat, and it goes right to my hips too.
I think they’re ho-made.
50% of all profits go to the Int’l Pimping Society charity fund!
…because it ain’t easy.
Need that extra money to cover preggo whore’s 3 days of down time I gives ‘em for having a marketable baby.
Lol, we have homemade baby due at the end of the month.
gross.
Wasn’t gross for us.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Put on yer lollerskatez!
hehe
Of course, one out of six ends up breech…
Well that’s not so bad, I was a home made baby…unlike my brother, who was made in a motel…`~`
You’re wrong. Salmon is next on the shelf. This is just “homemade baby”, no more, no less.
That’s because they FAIL to print what’s inside, they only print what sounds good to the salespeople. Ever tried to see whether it’s a shampoo or a conditioner? That’s small print…
You’re disputing the fact that salmon is a fish?
And my shampoo and conditioner are very clearly labelled, thanks.
Haha, i love your comment…gold star award!!!11
Its like when you see a magazine advert for top end hi-fi equipment. It doesn’t tell you the price so that it forces you to go into the store where the sales people put the ‘fluence on ya!
“Homemade Baby” is a delicacy in some cultures.
They have a richer taste than test tube babies.
Fresh semen makes better tasting babies.
spermicidal maniac.
It’s spelt “fromicidal” manic…. with just a Touch of Satan
.. Nights in White Satan…..
i’m more concerned about the fact they are “perishable”
Why, did you eat one after its use before date? I wouldn’t worry, the most you’ll get is mild diarrhoea.
*raises an eyebrow*
*wonders how she knows this*
I just assumed they’d be similar to chicken?
They sure taste similar…
Wait, regular chicken or free-range beer chicken?
Here I am, reporting for duty.
And that’s Ms. B*tch to you.
do i understand correctly that you are the purveyor of ho made babies? i which case, where can I place my order?
YOU were a ho-made baby.
Ba-tushhh!
What’s wrong with your tush??
It’s ba, duh.
As opposed to badunkadunk?
Youve failed once and you fail again
guess that cancels out, huh?
shame about the trainwreck of grammar you’ve got going there.
Hey im from the Mississippi litterary program, so why do i care?
No it is what all scientist have pronounced the “Double Fail Theory”
Technically someone’s going to commit a double fail.
After the double fail they die, knowing that thier reason to go on is dead.
This phenomenon still has no explination, maybe contagious, and is know to be 100% fatal.
Empathy for those who double fail, indeed
Quite enigmatic. What about triple fail or if that single scientist in his entirety changes his mind?
what if he changes the pronunciation?
The scientist gets sacrificed to the fails above.
Triple fail, all hell brakes loose…
I think hell refrained a few years ago. It was on a collision course with pergatory yet miraculously both survived the impact and even managed not to break anything.
thankfully Chuck Norris was there when it broke out
LOL!!!
WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What kind of brakes did it use? Air brakes, disc brakes, drum brakes? Were they properly adjusted? Did the brakes lock up, causing a hellish skid?
No
Yes
No
Yes
Absolutley
I admire your efficiency, your efficacy, and all of your other eff’in qualities.
Effervescence?
Why yes you are
a triple fail releases a quantum flux of vandagraphic proportions, World renowned inventor Stanley Gibbons was able to prove that a triple fail would rip a hole new fail in the unverse leading to a fail similar to that of religion.
100% fatal? That’s more than half!
wait. aren’t most babies made at home? or at least in the back seat of a car?
Duh. Everyone knows babies are made in a factory in Indonesia. Truth fail.
Don’t eat the babies that are made in China. They’re full of poison.
nah they just have a high lead content
Lead is poisonous.
So that’s why they call it a sweatshop?
omg i see the fail! lol… one of them is upside down! ahahahah… soo funny…
This happens to be the second comment, excluding replies. Not that anyone would care.
It depends. Is that a homemade comment?
Why, yes, I baked it myself, and…waitaminute…
Good thing it wasn’t burnt or anything.
Don’t forget to keep it refrigerated…
I BURNED MINE. D:
Homemade baby as opposed to those done in the back seat of a car?
Yes, I think they have a different insemination package called “Back seat of a car Baby”, it’s cheaper, but not as cheap as “Drunken alleyway Baby”.
unfortunately the ‘abort’ button is disfunctional.
As is some’s ability to spell dysfunctional.
stop dissin’ ma functionalities.
“As IS some’s”? Or “As are some’s”?
Moral of the story is…
I think “home made baby” as opposed to those raised in cabbage patch farms, and those delivered by the army of storks.
Dad, how do people make babies?
Most people just go to Sears, buy the kit, and follow the assembly instructions.
I came from Sears??
No, you were a Blue Light Special at K Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper.
SO I did come from a test tube!
Calvin and Hobbes WIN!
Calvin and Hobbes! Woohoo!
I hope I was kept refrigerated.
I hope you were too
You probably were, or you would be perished already. Babies that were not refrigerated don’t keep long.
Hey thats how i got my brother
….from another mother?
Forget from another mother… You were from another store!
at least its not ho-made.
Nah, they’d be sold in a dark alley, not in a supermarket
i am the doner sperm for all homemade babies
I’ll be sure to call you when I want a kebab.
Congratulations! It’s a kebab!
a doner kebab!
No. Donner kebab. (needs to keep frozen)
A Donner kebab?? PARTY!!!!!
Lunchbox should not be so happy with name right now. . .
Please, no Christmas jokes until December!
Hey Loz! Look, Mistletoe!!!
*facepalm*
We’re already selling Christmas things at my work, it’s not even Halloween yet!
HAPPY 2009!!!
today’s best comment yet
2 points and a Get Out of Spelling/Grammar Jail Pass for wolfgangmunzerl2
Amen, the stores here had Christmas stuff two months ago!!! What the heck happened to Halloween and Thanksgiving?? They aren’t a profitable, so write them off?
Two reasons;
Halloween- anoying kids asking for candy, and if you dont have any, they egg your house
Thanksgiving- another reason why america is getting fatter, not to forget that later on the pilgrims screwed over the indians
You’re Grumpy. . . *eggs wolfgangs house*
oh snap that was Holo’s house
run!
Wait, we’re getting fatter because once a year we roast a great big
turkey and (ostensibly) give thanks for the things we have (both tangible and not)
I count maybe 4 holidays where a feast is in order. Thanksgiving,
Christmas (or whatever deep winter holiday you favor), Easter (or whatever spring holiday you favor) and the Fourth of July (we ARE talking about America getting fat here). We’re getting fat because we don’t DO anything anymore!
True, the rest of the western world only has two out of those four.
And there are no other “holidays” to make up for the missing two?
I’m trying to think of any others we have… St Paddy’s doesn’t count because it’s all about the drinkin’, not the eatin’.
Can’t think of any…
…not really. Birthday? guess that counts in umuricuh too.
I figured birthdays were a given, but was only going for the big “nation-wide” deals. So still, that’s 4 maybe 5 times a year we (‘Merkins) go all out and eat until we can’t move. That’s what’s making us fat?
It might not be so bad if you didn’t eat so much the rest of the year too…
That was exactly my point!
And for the record, I’m on a diet (sorta). I’m down about 20 pounds from July.
Oh congratulations! You’re on a par with pob, then.
You guys should race, that’d be great motivation.
My goal is the new wardrobe my mother has been baiting me with for the past 4 years. If I lose about 15 or so more pounds, I get all new clothes. If I lose 15 or so more pounds, I’m gonna NEED all new clothes! This way, I won’t have to pay for it though.
Yay for new clothes! You should get some ho-made ones.
Can you give some of your unwanted weight to me? I have the opposite problem
Give it a few years. I was the skinniest thing around for a long time. I could eat anything I wanted. And then I turned 26. And my metabolism decided it wan’t my friend anymore. In fact, my metabolism decided it HATED me. And I gained 50 pounds, or near enough to 50 as makes no difference.
THE GREAT AVIS HAS SPOKEN!
Having all of those homemade babies will do that to your body.
*can’t have babies, due to fun with genetics*
Avis…same thing here, but I was actually TOO skinny in high school. Scrawny even. Then, in my 20s, I gained about thirty pounds and everyone said it looked much better on me, so I just kept it!
(I guess it helped that it went to all the right places!
)
I NEED to lose weight. The problem is, I was trained to finish everything on my plate, and I kept that habit. My parents didn’t punish me for not eating it – they were disappointed. That was worse.
Quantity doesn’t affect your weight as much as the types of food you’re eating.
Have a plate of healthy food and you’ll lose weight. No?
Oooh, spork…the disappointment is the WORST!!!
*sympathetic pat on the back*
Even if that weight had distributed itself to more “fun” places, it still would have been a bad thing. My mom used to call me Dolly Parton when I was a teenager. I think she was jealous.
I wouldn’t say I was thin back in high school, but I was definitely leaner. I was still a little bit heaver than my average male classmate, but then it was due to muscle mass, not fat. Most of the weight I gained was in college, when I was first responsible for my own dietary and exercise habits.
I managed to LOSE 15 pounds my freshman year! It wasn’t ’till I got older that what I ate stuck. Now I just walk a lot, and eat a little healthier. It helps that my figure is fairly well proportioned, so I don’t look like I weigh what I do.
Calories out > calories in, simple math. And a good colon cleanse will do wonders for your health but I am sure I will be “poo poo’d” bringing that up
Don’t give them credit for thinking logically. They are nothing but fat people intent on attacking people they will never have to face and then hiding behind “humor” when snarky comments are just that, snarky. And regarding the colon cleanse, loz and her crew are so full of sh*t they probably need a good colon cleanse. Pathetic, all of them.
Yes, because ad hominem attacks are the hallmark of class and grace. Good job, Jaslene.
re: Jaslene Yah, WTF , over?
Well said pob.
Teehee, the irony of that comment makes me giggle.
Yay, another hater!
Avis did the “Freshman -15″?
Gosh wolfgangmunzerl2! You used your Pass already?
Not familiar with the Donner party madame? ‘Tis a heartwarming tale of getting stranded in the mountains and running out of food, forcing the party to eat their shoes and eventually the people who wore them.
Deck the halls with bowels of Holly
Gross win
Why did you disembowel Holly? I liked her
I’d like to buy a bowel, please…
Cecum by the alimentary canal.
I don’t know if I can stomach this.
Is okay I save you for last nom. Should be about two months.
Should add a label saying ‘100% organic!’
And an expiry date!
Eatin’ good in the neighborhood!
Yep, nobody wants them after they’re spoiled.
Now we know where Chili’s gets their baby back ribs.
*stands up*
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*
sniff… its a beautiful
Shake well before use. Useless after shaking.
Not to be disposed of in the toliet.
may contain nuts (50% chance).
47% actually
thats less than half.
I see what ya did there
OMG that sort of brought a bad image . . . silent dancing
Packed in env friendly material not plastic. I approve.
The title of this post should really be Photoshop FAIL!!
Lammers
I think your brains were photoshopped.
WTF are/is “lammers”?
From Wikipedia:
Dr. Jur. Hans Heinrich Lammers (27 May 1879 – 4 January 1962) was a prominent Nazi and head of the Reich Chancellery.
Johannes “Jan” Lammers, (born June 2, 1956 in Zandvoort), is a racing driver and team principal from the Netherlands. He participated in 41 Formula One Grand Prix races, debuting on January 21, 1979. He won the 24 Hours of Le Mans in 1988 and later participated the race with his own team Racing for Holland. Also, Jan Lammers is the seatholder of the Dutch A1 Grand Prix team.
The title of the preceding comment should be “w0rm5 FAIL!!”
We have a lunchbox in NJ?
Seems that somebody took “A Modest Proposal” a bit too seriously…
This is the only funny comment on here. Swift FTW!
Mmm yeah. Barry White’s “Greatest Baby Makin’ Hits” CDs are so hot, they have to be kept refrigerated.
Mmmmmmmmmm, tasty home made baby! Delicious (on a kebab)!
To make a baby kebab, you’d have to put the baby on a spike wouldn’t you?
Why yes, and if you have trouble you can always ask a certain Vlad Dracula about the best techniques.
I was thinking more a Mr Izzard.
It’s the American dream, you know!
I prefer my babies farm raised, organic and fresh. No frozen ho made babies for me thanks.
DIY babies FTW!
So instead of “Break glass and take key” you have “Break locker and take fire extinguisher”?
um…. boards fail?
no, it’s qwerty. He posts in all the wrong places because the comment poice is hot on his heels and he doesn’t want to be caught. It’s been like this for a while.
Shh… if not I may have to silence you!
Gee, if thosespoil, will they be thrown into that child care dumpster? Anyway, I thought it was illegal to “buy minors”?
It could certainly cost you.
I always thought babies came from cabbage patches. I’m so disappointed to learn they come in a box from a factory.
*looks in horror down at pregnant belly*
Wait, I’ve been doing this ALL WRONG! You’re telling me these things are boxed up and sold in the refrigerator section?
I’m afraid you’re doing it the hard way madame.
Yeah, but at least you know you’ll be getting a fresh one.
Fresher than a refrigerated one?
Sara should have a freezer inside her belly!!!
“I’m here to deliver the refrigerator you ordered. Where do you want it installed, ma’am?”
“Oh, just put it in here.”
Awkward silence.
Yeah, Mouse was my delivery person that day. Our relationship will never be the same.
But the memories will last a life time.
Is okay. . . Home made babies are more fun. . . Then there is the satisfaction that goes with having something you made yourself turn on you, rejecting all your hard work on its behalf then run off into the night with others of its kind leaving you wondering what you did wrong until it comes back smiling like nothings wrong. . . sigh
Spoken like a true Jewish mother…
LOL, that’s pretty much what I thought when I saw this on the voting page. ‘Oh, Sara J is not going to like this…’
Which way did you vote?
Present.
And all this time I thought babies came from sex. You can just go buy one?
http://archangel2012.blogspot.com/
Based on the high standard of your comment, I will definitely visit your blog to witness some more of this first-class wit!
Huzzah!
as opposed to car made babies?
Take the fail mislabel off this pic of win, and it’s hilarious. With the fail fail slapped on it, it’s just stupid.
That’s how babby formed!
I am truley sorry for your lots, for they seem to be passed their expiration date.
Those ones grow up to be Failblog trolls.
Babies r made when you hump or get humped0_0 or when a lad hangs out with the wrong drunk O>O or raped XD
It better be organic.
*made in China
Reminds me of an ad I saw for “Whole peeled baby” at a supermarket. It was something like $2.39 a pound.
Seriously, what the hell is this??
I’d get that looked at if I were you.
It’s baby food. Check out homemadebaby.com.
Thank you
Bless you
I’ve worried about the babies in the boxes all day
Now I can rest knowing that it’s just food
hahahahahahna
This is what happens if you put your baby in that dumpster Saturday through Monday.
well thats not what we learn trough sexual Education thats for sure
Mama always said that homemade was best!
Take out is never as good…..
Hmm…I suppose this is where homemade baby oil comes from…
in the uk that will probably come with free houses and benefits
they taste better than the testube ones.
Ho, me made baby.
I think they mean “Babybel.” As in homemade Babybel cheese.
Arent all babies “Home-made”? I have yet to meet a baby that came manufactured from a plant.
So THAT’S where babies come from!
Is it a bad thing if this arouses me?
Brave New World WIN!!! I’ll have two delta semi-morons to do my laundry please.
Wow! New way to adopt a baby!
Salut les plouc !!
At least it’s homemade. I hate all this factory processed baby that most stores have.
Its Homemade Out Of The Oven!
rude, engrish funny?
This is a “perishable” item. XD
Really, my baby was made at a hotel xD