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OMG I am first and I have nothing witty to say
You and everyone else that is first.
Reminds me of my ex husband, very anti-climactic
How about ”WGet a Gun and at the same time you are able to reserve ypour place in the cementery” If its not funny think about it im german we are not funny
MUHAHAHA
Very sad comment. Rest in peace.
I am guessing that is one of the reasons he is an ex and you have his balls in a jar.
Was he anti-climactic for him, or you? A man who can’t please a woman just isn’t a man at all…
Nope, he isnt a man, he is an ex husband
Eunuchs tend not to be able to please anyone in that way…
*wonders if said ex-husband tried to petition for visitation rights with his balls*
Is there anything more frightening than a band of pissed off females out for a session of castrating? Not that I’m nervous. Nope. Not me.
“Hell hath no fury…” It’s true.
We sometimes opt for the crafty and terrifying route. I do, at least.
I can be…… devious when necessary.
I’m…an open book.
Seriously…does anyone here have difficulty believing that I just come out and say what I mean?? *grin*
Fluffy, Avis, Dragon I noticed that not one of you mentioned that I was not in danger. I may have to take defensive measures, like hiding.
Erm…I guess I assumed you’d know that since I’m not pissed off, and I’m not gunning for anyone’s balls, that there is no reason to be afraid.
Mayhap I overestimated you?
*innocent look*
La donna è mobile
Not this donna.
That’s what you say now. What about later?
I’ll say, “Not this donna.”
They call her Donna, Donna the Prima Donna.
Broke my heart.
Thinks she’s smart.
So you’re saying I’m a fickle prima donna with an inflated
sense of my own intelligence?
:[
Lord no! I was just getting another earworm installed. La donna è mobile would have been a better earworm, but it seems that it didn’t take.
I seem to be rubbing you the wrong way tonight.
*hands coyote some dark chocolates* psst just pass her these and you’ll be ok
Noooo, you’re not. I always like the way you rub.
…Okay, that came out wrong, but I’m not changing it!
I just didn’t recognize the songs, that’s all!
It’s ok, I didn’t recognise them either!
La donna è mobile is from Verdi’s Rigoletto. One of the most famous tenor arias in existence! You’ve never come across Dion and the Belmonts? Great heaping amounts of shame you have brought upon yourselves.
It is pleasig when they are ugly. Would you want the kids of an ugly person running around
What, you don’t want kids? Well, that’s a very valid lifestyle choice.
BOTW!
There are other portions of the anatomy that can please a woman.
Comment fail? :p
I think honesty win.
Trying to get out of being branded an idiot win. I think.
Agreed.
Have you seen the “Why People Write “First” in the Comments” graph in yesterdays Fun With Charts? Truth lies there.
The truth lies??
Well, hmph.
This shouldn’t be a surprise, they made a movie about it. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
You can’t handle the truth!
Isn’t this a line from Alanis Morrisette’s song “Ironic”?
I honestly didn’t catch that :/
Let me break it down
Step 1: Buy a gun
Step 2: Shoot a man because he looked at you wrong/stole your woman/killed your best friend/cut you off in traffic
Step 3: Buy a coffin
Step 4: Place body of dead offender in coffin
Step 5: Bury coffin in backyard of ex-spouse
Step 6: Call police annonymously and report foul scent coming from back yard of ex-spouse
It’s simple really, more a win than a fail if you think it out properly
*scootches*
Not buying the innocent look?
Sounds as if you have more issues than the New York Times. *hides*
Remind me to always stay on ryannon’s good side.
I think Democrats make the connection a lot easier than Republicans.
2nd. I’m just curious if the gun show is sponsered by the casket company.
They’d really be making a killing with those businesses.
It would spell certain death for the competition.
I think they are already a cut above the others.
It’s a major blow to other gun manufacturers.
Oh stop shooting off your mouth
Blast!
Yen, you had great aim with that one!
At least we’ll be fired up about it.
I think there is a plot behind this.
How very grave…
Thanks Lunchbox, its not everyday I hit the target
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been firing blanks.
Well with someone of that caliber…
Ooh, Loz gave it to him with both barrels!
Careful… might have been a misfire!
Hah…next time she may set her sights on you!
I’d disen-gauge the thought!
I’ve got you in my crosshairs!
Take your best shot!
*blasts Phen into tomorrow*
*remembers the space/time continuum was destroyed in the last fail*
Oops. Ah well, looks like Phen has been lost… somewhere.
/respawns
I’m making another round.
*starts making a list with bullet points*
What shell it be?
Dammit, now you’ve triggered my obsessive list-making behavior.
I’ll sift through my pile of magazines while you polish that list.
Okay. Just let me find my hair clip first.
*goes ballistic*
/reloads the page for additional comments
With belt-fed intentions!
Is that a grenade in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
*rifles through pun run*
Looks like you guys have got this one dead to rights.
Grenade?! I suspect the latter… considering the recent discharge.
Oh, you should get that checked out for your own safety.
A z-pack will clear that right up
I’m afraid the scope of the problem is beyond my control.
Dragonwriter has some very good advice
What could happen:
http://www.cracked.com/craptions/craption/1011
Oh, get a grip, you heel.*
(*special license was taken for pun-purposes only)
Oh, I had a fairly strong grip on the butt, iykwim.
Ooooh, watch your mouth, or I’ll put a muzzle on you!
You can’t suppress me! My responses are automatic.
You’re PULL!ing my leg…
Well if you hadn’t covered my shaft…
OK, this is starting to bore me.
But I’m sure you all will just hammer out some more.
Don’t be so explosive.
I think I’ll slide just a couple more in here. Then I’ll bolt, before the action gets too intense. Isn’t is just Garand?
*recoils from Outback Jon*
However, Phen and I are going to examine that shaft in a more private chamber.
I think that I read all of these jokes in a magazine somewhere.
(It was done, coyote! Don’t be a repeater!)
I got your bolt-action right here.
Isn’t that your stock in trade?
I musket in on the action.
Oooh, I hope I don’t blunder this buss…
*smooooooooooooooooch*
You’re a prime kisser.
Cannon you drive me to Lover’s Lane? I call shotgun!
Has my carbine readied and warmed up?
*car fires up on all cylinders*
It sure has.
Looks like there was some rapid firing around here. Too bad I missed the action.
All of your comments really made an impact!! You’d better holster this discussion for another time, before I end up shooting coffee out my nose again!
It may well result in a good spell for the sponsors.
Addiitional billboard for a suicide hotline would make it a trifecta for the sponsors.
And below that, a Vote Republican billboard.
LOL.
*Bows*
Actually, this could be a minor Win. You may actually need one of the Urns as a nifty place to hide your coins bought at the gun show.
I keep my gun in my mom’s urn, the police never look there
We’ll all ignore the Freudian implications in this one…
Is my slip showing?
wonder if this Tombstone?
From the gun show, to the affordable casket, to Amigone crematorium.
You can have this all in exchange for some knives, coins and jewellery.
I’ve never understood the correlation between guns and jewellery. Maybe people who like the bang noise also like shiny things?
You’ve obviously never met a gypsy. Sorry, I mean ‘a member of the travelling community’.
We prefer the term “Rom”.
We prefer the term “Rom”
*failblog ate other comment so it will probably show up now*
Actually, I know a Rom, and she prefers to be called a Gypsy. I think it’s one of those “reappropriation of the word” things.
Hehe. The British government seems to think that ‘travelling community’ is the least offensive name. Political correctness gone crazy.
Political correctness gone mad, surely.
I believe the PC term is ‘insane’.
Touche, dear lady Loz.
…in the membrane?
ok failblog .. wtf? I have left 2 comments about gypsies being called ‘Rom’ and they have both disappeared?
patience fail
Not necessarily patience, I think failblog just doesn’t post it until you follow up the same post. I posted my first comment a few days back and it still hasn’t shown up. I don’t want to post again just to prevent myself from looking like an idiot for double-posting.
No, there are certian trigger words which mean the comment will be moderated, and failblog decide whether it’s suitable for posting.
Although sometimes completely harmless comments will be lost for no reason.
Like that one I did the other day that just said “Me?”. Not overly offensive in my opinion.
I don’t find you offensive either, for what it’s worth.
Well not me and you, but *whispers* what about them?
Well, it used to be the most easily pawnable items, as coins and jewelry are small, portable and hard to trace.
And all ya gotta do is file the serial number off the gun and it goes quickly and never traces back err not that I would know
once again ex comes to mind…
I’m becomming a little scared of ryannon.
Erm…
*surreptitiously scootches away from ryannon*
*scootches along with dragon*
*realizes who he is left next to and nonchalantly meanders off*
*looks around innocently*
(Innocent looks wont nest below this level)
*blink blink blink*
*smile*
McCain impersonation?
Oooh, bite your tongue, woman. There’s nothing innocent about that man.
Sorry, thought you were sending morse code messages with your eyes like he does. All that blinking gives me seisures
That and that damned smirk.
That’s not a smirk. Goiter removal.
He’s just so f.ucking smug. *readies go-go-gadget fist*
Yeah, except for filing the number off the gun is the hard part. People often wonder why you’d be doing that. And then the feds get involved… not that I would know…. *shifty eyes*
No no, you have to look around innocently for them to buy into it *nod*
I think it’s because a fella figures he’ll be in less trouble for buying a new gun, if he also brings home some jewelry to the wife.
Is he in less or more trouble for buying a new gun if he brings home a new coffin?
Is he in more or less trouble for bringing home a new wife, if he also brings home a gun?
Depends on wether or not he lives in Utah.
How many jokes about the spelling of “wether” will it take to ram the point home?
I don’t know wat you’re talking about, I don’t see were I made a mistake. Did I miss a letter wen I typed a word, or something? Wy are you picking on me? I mean, really, wo do you think you are?
I bel-ieve he got the point! He’s acting a little sheepish.
Only if the old wife is not buried in the coffin
And don’t forget Butcher Funeral Home
Dang beat me to it!
No, I think loufail beat you to it actually.
Eats, shoots & leaves!
panda fu
What about the Butcher funeral parlor?
Opps, Lou & I on the same thoughtprocess!
We have a HACKER funeral parlor here! Might send in a pic!
Yeah, except you were an hour late…
I’m always late, it’s scared many a beau.
SPAM!
I love that song
I love the food.
(not really)
Scrapple ranks up there with spam
I don’t know scrapple…
i like scrabble
I always get the q’s and never a u in sight
That’s odd.
Because the Q and the U are on the same piece.
I rarely enjoy scraddle. But scraqqle rocks, on occasion.
scraggle can ge fun
scraggle rock?
I love that email.
♫ I love the whole world, and all its sights and sounds!
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da,
boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da… ♪
That is the bestest commercial in the whole world, boom-dee-ah-da.
AAAHHHHHHHGGGGG!!! Earworm!!!! Boooo!!!
*is glad she doesn’t know it*
I love driving over speed ramps when I’m not wearing a bra.
So do the people in the cars around you
Ouch. Bouncing hurts…
Nah, they’re not big enough to give me two black eyes.
☻☻
ٮ
Wow, looks like I’ll be conserving energy by taking a cold shower today…
*closes his HTML tag*
Close your fly while you’re at it…
Well stop saying “robust” and maybe I’ll be able to tuck everything back in!
robust.
You’re such a tease.
It’s almost as if you don’t want me to be able to close my fly…
Robust. Robust. Robust. ROBUST.
I thought you said you needed MO’ bust!
*ducks*
ロバスト
Cheeky bint! You are quite wrong, I like my bust!
That makes two of us, m’lady!
*admires bust*
I know, I just couldn’t help myself.
That makes two of us, m’lady!
*admires bust*
Yes, it’s of Caesar. *smiles*
*pats little BFF on the head*
You run along to bed now honey.
I freakin’ love Spam-the-food. Never going to be a vegetarian. I love processed meats.
wow i was first but it wouldn;t let me type. anyways i dont geddit
You didn’t miss much, I promise
Well that’s handy.
Ask to Palin what’s means that !
http://www.agoravox.fr/article.php3?id_article=45959
I think I need to ask to you what’s means what was just to said by you.
Yeah those knives can kill you know…
Knives don’t kill people, people wielding machetes while wearing painted masks do.
(Yes, like the one standing behind me right now…)
Don’t make any sudden moves!
She has a machete too!?!
And she’s already proven that she is not afraid to use it.
i would have to say this is a juxtaposition WIN actually. One stop shopping for those in a hurry…
“I’m not dead!”
“You’ll be stone dead in a minute”
The NRA are getting really efficient, aren’t they?
Always wondered how someone can be pro-gun and pro-life at the same time
And how someone can be pro-life and anti-gay at the same time.
Epic logic fail. You really need this explained? It causes death and lack of life on so many levels.
Being gay causes death? Crap, why did no one tell me this sooner.
Somehow it slipped bi.
I’m curious
I thought happy people lived longer.
They’re for life, liberty, and the persuit of happiness…except that happiness is a sin, so that’s out. Oh, and liberty may give you too much leeway in which to sin, so better restrict that…
Logic fail. You protect innocent life with a robust means of self-defense.
While at the same time, you destroy innocent life with a robust weapon.
robust vs wade?
I know who shot JR.
Where the hell is Star Wars Ep. 7???
I don’t know where in hell Star Wars 7 is. Ask Dante.
Its over there
—————>
After the last pile of crap lucas vomited forth, hell is where any future episodes need to stay.
Exactly. The seventh ring of hell should be the final resting place of George Lucas.
this. . .this is true.
Honestly, I’m a huge Star Wars fan, but they need to wait til Lucas dies off or something, that way someone with some real /talent/ might be able to pick up after his mess.
typical gun-control propaganda bs. Why cant this site just stick to humor?
Taking Failblog way too seriously WIN.
Having any semblance of a sense of humor FAIL.
Thinking gun-control is a bad thing FAIL.
Not putting an apostrophe in “can’t” FAIL.
Having a name meaning “a persuasive argument using logic and reason” FAIL.
Hmm, *stands back*, is he battered and bruised enough yet?
I’d say we did pretty well!
*high-fives*
Group hug?
More like gang rape but well done nonetheless!
Urgh! I’m not joining in! Police! Police!
Gun control = use both hands.
Guns don’t kill people, small pieces of of lead traveling at a rapid velocitydoes. That and penguins.
Typical 14 year old boy, any excuse to hug two older women!
*snork*
No, no! I did not mean it like that!
*looks innocent*
You have to blink 3 times and then smile if you expect anyone to buy into that look
*bats eyelashes*
Of course – you are gay.
If one is fourteen all women are older.
And can we blame him for trying?
Nope.
Liberal Propoganda WIN
if I post my fanmail to ringo star will it reach him in time for the 20th?
More importantly: Do we care?
I saw that on Have I Got News For You last night. I laughed so hard. He’s such a prick, I can’t stand that guy. I’m surprised he gets any fan mail.
Yeah, Ringo really is SO arrogant. The only good Beatles, Lennon and Harrison, are dead now. Paul Bloody McCartney is really getting up my nostrils. I get so mad I sometimes side with Heather Mills!
Oh, and I am really please HIGNFY is back on our screens. Go Ian and Paul!
synergistic marketing win!
Just checkin’ in. How are you guys?
… Good and.. not dead?
Nevermind, your all a bunch of anti gun pansies.
No, there are a few pro-gun daffodils in the group.
I find that forget-me-nots are the most pro-gun of all the flowers. They just really, really, really don’t want you to forget them, capiche?
Isnt his more of a win than a fail?
I love that you capped this in Blippo… Draplin rocks!
Nothing like getting your guns and a casket all at the same place. Fail!
So many… fails… can’t… brain hurts…
Don’t fold coins… coins return with notes… ARGH!
Actually, I don’t think its fail. The don’t fold coins thing is just bad spacing. And why can’t a machine return coins? They do that when the price of the item isn’t exactly the value of the note.
Wow…way to flip-flop your position, completely contradict yourself, and lose any credibility you may have had! That’s quite an accomplishment for one little post.
The credibility was lost when the wrong it was the wrong fail
I think you accidenty the wrong!
The WHOLE wrong? What should she do?
I knew I lost all credibility when I accidentally
Damn you failblog, you were supposed to nest. Nest damn you nest!
*covers mouth with hand*
*snortgiggles*
blastem buryem
no, this is juxtaposition WIN… no fail to see here… move along
*Shoots, nails and buries tat2dphreak*
Yup, nothing to see here… move along
fail? this is WIN =D
wha? Juxtaposition WIN.
omg… this is from tucson… ive totally passed these billboards like a thousand times, and the funniness never occurred to me till now. HA HA. awesome.
This just screams “Arizona”
The fact it is held in the Tuscon Convention Center was a hint right?
No, no… It’s from the OTHER Tucson… you know, right next to that city, in that state? Don’t you know the one I mean? It’s in the Southern Northeastern Midwestern Deep South, up there down by Canexico!!!
Looks more like a juxtaposition win to me
Yes Tucson. The casket bilboard is up pretty often, and the gun show ad changes color from year to year. Tucson Arizona, in the South West of this country. *pokes* Tucson has more fail than you!
Tucson yay! I recognized those billboards instantly. . .they’re all about town.
Cool, I live in Tucson, AZ, and I have seen that, never knew it would make it on failblog
Ha! I used to drive by Affordable Caskets all the time! They’re not around anymore…so sad…they had the most awesome sign EVER!
And the answers to kommety be?
w00t Tucson!
Gotta stay on your toes at a gun show. Sheesh.
Why is this a fail? It only makes sence that one industry complements another?
Lmao thats craziness i never thought I’d see anything from my hometown on here! But low and behold I’ve actually seen that very sign and never really thought anything of it…..until now!
targeted advertizing win?
I’ve got two tickets
i live in tucson and saw this all the time. hilarious
JUST ANOTHER NORMAL DAY IN WTFVILLE
DUDE, U SO DON’T GET THE JOKE
ryannon, if ya call police about it they can take finger prints off the casket and they can find out what gun it is easily. there are things in the barrel of the gun that make the bullet spin and all of them are unique. you would end up going to jail. And to anyone wondering, no i’m not a criminal investigator. I’m actually 11.
Arizona win!
there’s a winner…they shoot them and ship ‘em out right away to the grave…
Actualy ti is a win IMO. Well a win for the urs seller
What famous figure is it of? Caesar? Beethoven?