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Cheezburger Network Blog
Not Free.
You failed at sparking additional comments on your failpost. (this does not count)
Additional comments. bshafs failed.
His comment was so mundane that it makes me want to comment on it.
Kind of like a William Hung effect.
She Bangs!
Totally does. Prediction fail.
I actually made a joke like that once, many years ago:
FREE BURGERS! Only 9.95$ Plus tax!
$9.95*
Not all currency symbols are placed in front of the amount. Varkarrus may be from a French-speaking region of Canada.
This is not a Fail:
The Japanese text says:
Fu Ri – . Bi – Ru —-> Free Beer
However the 500 yen is for a meal deal (can’t see cause of the reflection), where you get the free beer included in the package, geddit?
We already have an Admirable.
so say we all
It’s actually weird because it says free beer in Japanese, too.
NO FAIL see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Beer
oohhhh thanks… i didn’t know
MMMMMM…. I’d love to pay for free beer! It tastes much better that way!
Damn, stupid name change… Can’t we all just get free beer?
Ofcourse!! that will be five hundred yen thank you
Free Tibet? I’ll take it!
Hello China? I have something you might want…
Free Willy?
keep it in your pants please
family guy reference win
FIRST!!!
You mean 1th.
Or 1rd…
Colin 1th?
That pun was rather 4st.
Don’t be such a 2rd.
*shakes 5st at Loz*
Sorry, I can’t a4rd any manners.
This whole thing makes me 6st to my stomach.
It’s making me 10th.
Sorry…I got distracted. You look very 6th-y.
When I see you, I get 0th-y thoughts.
And you are looking particularly 2thsome tonight yourself.
What are we waiting for? How about a sweet embr8th?
My tongue 0-0rd out from this lisp I’ve developed.
When have I ever de9-d you??
*squeeze ‘n’ hug*
Guaranteed to be the first loser to comment, that is.
You are just jealous Lunch.
Damn, you caught on… I really envied your amazing wit and wry humor, so aptly exhibited by screaming “first!!!” as the initial post on this thread. I can only hope to be a fraction of what you are, some day. I humbly bow to your magnificent presence.
damn who’s te 2nd loser now lunch
but at least what you say is funny
Thank you.
Sarcasm
Sar”casm\, n. [F. sarcasme, L. sarcasmus, Gr. sarkasmo`s, from sarka`zein to tear flesh like dogs, to bite the lips in rage, to speak bitterly, to sneer, fr. sa`rx, sa`rkos, flesh.] A keen, reproachful expression; a satirical remark uttered with some degree of scorn or contempt; a taunt; a gibe; a cutting jest.
Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc
You’re new to Failblog, aren’t you? Or did you leave your “First” comment filter at home?
amen, dude needs to chill…
And here we have a prime example of what is known on the Internets as pwnage.
you really live up to your namesake. That would be cool if your name was “trips and is impaled on a blunt object”.
You rang ?
Here I iz, what up?
Wow, what are the odds?!
Now, how about you make like your name and tripandbecomeimpaledonabluntobject?
Or throws sticks and knocks himself out. Wait, was that FIrst from yesterday?
maybe,
but i doubt your stick has to power to knock him out,
and maybe,
it free (tibet) FGREWFTUREF <(chinese) letters then beer after,
making less of a fail
__
d//.ob
escuze me while i cry myself to sleep
You don’t really live up to your name though, do you?
Just the first bit really.
ZING!!
*bites pillow*
LOZ BATTLE!!!
The fake fought Loz and Loz won.
And if m’lady and I can manage to online and on the same fail at the same time today, I’d be more than happy to make like a sheriff and lay down the Loz.
Lay me down, baby.
*lays Loz down*
*SEKSes Loz up*
Would someone pass the popcorn please?
*passes raelalt popcorn*
Thanks! Ok, we’re settled Loz and pob, on with the show!
Do you always eat popcorn while you watch porn?
I suppose you eat porn on the pob.
MATT DAMON!!!
Beer First!
No – Pay First, Beer Later.
since when is FREE BEER a fail?
since it costs 500 yen.
it costs 500 me?
No it doesn’t
The Japanese text, or Katakana reads as follows:
Fu Ri – . Bi – Ru ———-> Free Beer. However, the 500 yen is for a deal of some description (can’t see cause of the camera angling and light reflection), which includes a free beer.
…since it costs 500 yen and therefore isn’t free at all, perhaps. Just a guess.
Nah, that would be way too obvious. It’s got something to do with the rotational axes of the planets, the relative humidity of Venus and Papa Smurf’s pants. In that order.
I nearily the rotational axes of the planets…
What I do now?
what ever you do don’t use an action verb
I regretfully an action verb!
RUN!
Isn’t “run” an action verb?
Regretfully, yes.
NOW RUN YOU FOOL!
Can’t you see that Finity foolishly an action verb?
*runs with scissors*
Great!
Now you obviously an action verb as well, and with scissors!!
It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
*runs into scissors*
500 yen = 4,95 USD
Interesting concept of “free”.
Give it time…
agreed, all the morons on this site need to get used to this thing called “google”.
Is google the amount of money the damned bailout just cost us?
I’ll never get used to that!
google ‘googol’
are you implying we’re all morons? Or simply making a suggestion to self-aware idiots? please make your insults clear.
Are you a moron who is “…used to this thing called ‘google’”?
I’ll have a lager please.
*starts drinking*
but you never paid 500 yen!
It’s free, duh.
What, are you afraid you’ll taste something, Lager Boy? Ale RULES!!!!
Baltic Porters – can you handle them?
I’ve never met a Porter I couldn’t handle, but have never had a Baltic Porter. What’s it like? BTW: You’re not implying that a Porter is a Lager, are you?
I think he’s referring to the luggage handlers at hotels.
from the Baltic states?
Of course not – Baltic Porters come from Imperial Stouts. They are rich in flavour and strong. Polish Porters like Zywiec or Lodzkie have got ca. 9% alcohol. Click on my name cause there are some things written about them;)
Nice! I’ll have to find some. I brewed 5 gallons of my first attempt at a Barley Wine/Strong Ale a year and a half ago. It turned out at 9% ABV, thick, rich, malty, black as sin, and very hoppy. I’ve been sampling it every couple of months, but I’ve been letting it bottle-age. I’ll probably get into it in earnest this Christmas!
Cheers, Mr. Sausage, from a fellow (real) beer lover!
Well, never really considered brewing – maybe one day I’ll start;) Cheers!
It’s not hard, you need a minimal amount of equipment to start, and the biggest issue is keeping everything sterile so you don’t get wild yeast in it, that results in either a good kwak or a dirty brew. You need a bottle-capper and a dishwasher, the rest is easily available. And it’ll taste like nothing else. Unfortunately the mash smells like burning pumpkin, but some people like it.
Baltic Porter is heavy, toasty and ring in around 10% ABV. Delicious but not a session beer …that sir, is why I ordered a lager.
Ale your beers are belong to us.
I’ll hand them over when I’m done trimming my beered.
WTF, wordpoopzel??? I had a comment in the 1st spot, and it vanished! I was robbed!
Here’s 500 yen, have a beer
Thanks, that makes everything better. Sad, though, I had actually attempted to be witty, rather than being a troll and yelling “first”. What is Failblog coming to?
Failure?
Aaaannnnnndddddd….. now it’s back. Just fantastic. Really.
Japanese Beer doesn’t even sound tasty.
I’ll have a Newcastle, thank you
Iki beer isn’t bad, but it’s no ‘brown ale’.
*drools*
Do yourself a favor and try a Hitachino White Ale.
Hoegaarden White Ale. Belgian, but oooohhhhhh so good!
I’m a big fan of Hoe-in’ your gaarden!
Had it first in Amsterdam, straight from the tap. Nearly stained the front of my trousers, it was so good! Now, back in the US, it’s only bottled, and not nearly the same… Much like Heineken, awesome in Amsterdam on tap, sucks worse than monkey-ball-sweat in a can here in the states. (I’m only surmising how bad that reference sucks, I have NOT sampled it)
Hmmmm…
*looks skeptical*
*looks over shoulder*
What? What did I miss? Skeptical? Sure, it’s late, I’m tired, but really? What?
A skeptical cat! Which is better than a dispeptical cat. Or
Romantical cats, pedantical cats
Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and mystical cats!
Why do you need a new castle? Did your old one sink into the swamp?
But it would be daft to build a castle in a swamp.
Everyone knows it would be daft to build a castle on a swamp.
Sapporo is the BEST with sushi. Don’t knock it.
Imagine drinking Coors. Now imagine that you just paid twice as much for it. That’s what drinking Japanese beer feels like. The one redeeming quality that Kirin, Asahi, and Sapporo have is that they can be had from vending machines at all hours of the day (in Japan- not here sadly).
Make that a pitcher of Newcastle and bring me a glass.
To understand the concept, you should think of “free” as in “free speech,” not as in “free beer.”
You’re GNU around here.
Who isn’t, today?
Some are old gnus and others are new gnus.
I thought I was gnu…
Wow, value of the yen sure has gone down the tube, hasn’t it?
Probably crappy river water beer.
The yen has always been relatively weak compared to other currencies.
Hey, stop with the insults! At least I’m not the US dollar…
For any curious, yes, the Japanese on the sign reads (literally, in English): “Free Beer.”
Perhaps it’s a misleading brand name. To appeal to the more cognitively challenged.
That’s my only theory, really. Poorly chosen Engrish name. Then again, I’m also curious as to what the orange text reads – I can’t quite make it out on my own.
Or perhaps it’s free range beer.
Milked from the happy, free-roaming beer-chickens? Possibly!
Could you, perchance, enlighten me on the natural habitat of the free-range beer-chicken? I would like so much to see them in their natural environment… and maybe milk a few myself!
We have them everywhere here, they’re getting to be quite a pest, actually.
But I’m afraid you have to pay 500 yen if you want to milk one.
I hear beer chicken poaching is on the increase. You can probably get some black market.
RACIST
Ahh shaddup.
Apologies for the missing words. I think I accidenty .
Missing words, we’ll forgive, but missing letters….
Getting the previous Fail reference: fail.
But ignoring the bait and still making clever comeback comment: WIN.
Touche
J’adoube.
Wisconsin. Land of free-range beer-chicken and cheese.
No, Germany is the home of the beer-chicken. It began as an innocent experiment between German man and his farmyard friends…
and by innocent experiment, you mean ” a two week drunken debauchery-fest that happens every fall”
And by a two week drunken debauchery-fest that happens every fall, you mean “Oktoberfest”? I love Germans. *sigh*
[Homer]
Mmmmmmm… Free range beer! Ooohhhhggggghhhhhlllllhhhh…
[/Homer]
I’ve actually had this beer before. its ‘free’ beer because the recipe is open-source.
Open source recipe? Who the hell would want to recreate a commercial beer, when there’s far more interesting, commercially uneconomical recipes you can develop yourself?
Free Beer is open-source beer. They publish the recipe and labels under a Creative Commons license (http://freebeer.org/blog/about/). So it’s a joke, based on the “free as in speech, not as in beer” line about open source software.
Yeah, in this case, free means… y’know, liberty. Most langages, including japanese, have two different words for free (gift) and free (in liberty).
Amazingly, so does the English language! i.e. free and liberty
Perhaps the beer is being oppressed or imprisoned, and they want ransom/bail of 500 yen to let it go!
I think 500 yen equalz free, so when they have a thing that costs 1 yen, they will ask 501 yen for it!
You think wrong.
I think he’s inbred.
Does it not say something like,
Free Beer
with meal ??
500 yen
Smoked Porter (steak?)
Weizen
Gold Lager
Porter is a beer.
Lush Fail.
smoked beer?
barrel aged perhaps.
or maybe they offer a bonghit with each glass
or maybe its a typoo
Smoked beer is easily made; just skewer a few cans on the
bar-b-que’s rotating spit, throw hickory chips on a slow fire,
and close the lid for a few hours. Mesquite chips work too!
i think the cans would leak unless you froze them first
You’ve obviously never tried to freeze beer, have you? Doesn’t work too well. Which reminds me…. you’re an idiot!
FREEZE BEER!?
Accckk! HERESY !
Heresy? BURN THE WITCH!!!
she turned me into a NEWT!
….i got better….
Burn to ash and bone…
Beer cans leak WHEN you freeze them and make a right mess of your freezer. And it stinks.
I think he was hoping some imbecile would actually try that.
Damn! And here I was looking forward to beer popsicles.
I did!
(Using Swearlly Bob’s easy to follow recipe.)
But in trying to get an extra heavy smokey flavor I left the
beer on the spit too long and wound up with Beer Jerky!
EUREKA! >>>> BEER JERKY! <<<<
[thinks]
“Wow! take it anywhere… without refrigeration…
cut into bite size pieces… would taste great with beer…
tremendous profit potential…. then also…. ”
[/thinks]
*begins feverously downloading Trademark and Patent Application Forms*
I had some friends who left beer in their freezer overnight. It exploded.
And THEN it started to freeze. Sort of. It certainly did make a right mess of the freezer though.
Actually, the Germans do have a smoked beer (Rauchbier… sp?). A portion of the malted barley is smoked, over Beech wood IIRC, and then added to the rest of the malt. Kind of a funky taste that takes a little getting used to.
Yea … a lot of porters have smoky or toasty flavors to them. The malt is toasted giving it the color and flavor.
*getting thirsty again*
I just brewed 10 gallons of Extra Special Bitter last weekend and bottled 5 gallons of Honey Wheat. All this talk of Porter… THAT’s what I’m making THIS weekend… I’ll have to get a 6 of Samuel Smith to tide me over while I’m brewing….
yeah but yens hardly worth anything anyway so it basicly is free
You might want to look up the word ‘free’ in a dictionary.
…and the word “Basically”
as explained in a previous fail i am an international pornstar and allowed to miss spell
I’m sure spell misses you too.
i’m also allowed to misspell
I’m afraid I don’t believe you. Do you have a misspelling licence I could see?
ummm….. its in my other pants…… and i mean pants underpants for those who wear their pants on the outside
You mean superman?
batman actually… well the old batman the new one wears like full body armour
But he does wear his nipples on the outside.
Pretentious White Girl will LIKE that!
“allowed to miss spell”
Where’s the action verb?
It’s something like “screw” or “hump” I guess, (with you being an international pornstar and all) .
In that case, the action verb is “miss”. As in:
You clearly miss the action verb in this sentence.
you truly are miss ing the point
*facepalm*
Probably. Can I facepalm you, too?
Think in context:
as in “he was allowed to screw miss spell twice”
A yen is worth slightly less than a penny, actually. >.> So 500 yen would just under 5 bucks.
SPEAK ENGLISH i use £ i have no idea how much 5 bucks is last time i checked it was about £2.50
One buck = two deer.
Duh.
500 yen for ‘free’ beer = too dear.
5$= 1.23 crumpets
mmm yummy.
But how much is that in strumpets???
I would have thought that strumpets were a dime a dozen.
Depends on the relative quality of the crumpets to the strumpets. Generally it’s about a 1-1 conversion.
Crumpets are pricey in the US and come in odd amounts.
So make your own?
Make our own food? Shirley you jest, we merkins will just have to wait until McDonald’s start offering them with our happy meal.
Alcohol free then
what’s the point in alcohol free beer? there’s much better tasting things that aren’t alcoholic
Like butt water.
but only bottled…
bubbly brewed bottled butt water. I can just imagine the superbowl commercials they would run
“Today, we salute you, bubbly brewed bottled butt water delivery man. You’re the purveyor of the precious, the slinger of the smelly suds. Without you, who would bring those fizzy farts to the masses?…..”
Sugar Free, Fragrance Free, Wheat Free, Tangle Free, Nipple Free,
Misstake Freee, Smoke Free, Toll Free, Free Tibet, Free Fall, Free Winter,
Free! Free at Last….
But not dairy-free.
Nor belfry.
why would anyone fry a bell?
A cannibal might fry a belle.
Free Willy?
Correct!
There’s milk cow poop floating in the bottles.
But not fish free.
See isinglass.
Free Winter? What’s that? Free Jonathan Winter? Where’s he being held?
FREE WILLY!!!
Free with purchase.
I’m Freeeeeee, Free failing!
I can’t see the “fail”!
It is an offering to free the beer from its prison in the bottle.
And for that extraordinary experience…. you pay 500 Yen.
Fail on the OP! It’s free as in SPEECH.
The 500 yen is for admission. Once you are admitted, all the free beer you can handle.
Also, for some reason, “Smoked” is a flavour in Japan. I have no idea why. I guess this is just a smokey porter.
Also also, the yen is very strong compared to the dollar right now. It has fallen recently, but nowhere near as far as the dollar has.
Speaking of flavors (flavours for you wierd-spelling people), here’s some real delights! Click my name for examples…
You’re calling US weird-spelling?! :p
Lunchbox…I will get you for this.
*ducks*
Don’t worry, I’m a fireman… We’re inherently flame-resistant. FOOM away, Dragon, FOOM away!
Oh, no *FOOM* for you, darlin. Much, much too easy.
Besides, I save my *FOOM*ing for the trolls.
Thank you, thank you. You are a kind and benevolent Dragon, and a true slayer of trolls.
Remember her fangs and claws.
*geese*
*mallards*
*gooses*
Woooo!!! Hey, keep your hands to yourself.. or at least to Loz!!!
(Who do you think I was goosing?)
(Apparently you missed!)
More fowl humor. *shakes weary head*
Carry on my wayward son,
There’ll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest,
Don’t you cry no more.
Speaking of flavors (flavours for you WEIRD-spelling people), HERE’RE some real delights! Click my name for examples…*
I think you misspelled Arrian. Isn’t it supposed to be Jackass?
He spelled Arrian correctly.
I clicked your name and nothing happened. You have taken fail to a whole new level.
Wheat ice cream: because your other option is raw horse flesh. *best ad ever*
Actually not a fail!
It’s “free” like in “freedom” and not “free” like in gratis.
Free Beer is the first open source Beer in the world, you can brew it on your own if you want to.
Look it up in the Wikipedia!
Exactly you’re right. Actually failblog failed here. Take a look at http://www.freebeer.org
Someone should take a screenshot of this “fail” on the failblog site and post it directly to failblog
Light Beer? Free of calories & taste?
and beer
I don’t drink alcohol! So this beer is totally free for me!
The liver is EVIL and must be PUNISHED!
Aye, flog thy liver with liquid.
I made a comment about the free beer and was removed! Antispam fail!
Anyway, search for freebeer dot org to know the open source recipe of the free beer.
There is such a thing as not gratis Free Beer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Beer
http://www.freebeer.org/blog/
They can charge whatever they want for Free Beer.
Though you can have the recipe and make your own Free Beer.
Actually, the beer is absolutely free. You gotta pay 500 yen for the bottle the beer comes in, though.
I don’t understand how the “free” in “free beer” could be the same as the “free” in “free speech.” Does beer have a history of being repressed by the government of Japan? Has the government been considering enacting a law that gives all Japanese citizens the right to keep and bear ale?
Perhaps the idea they really had in mind was Freedom Beer?
All other beers are not free in the sense that if you were to brew it yourself (and perhaps try to sell it), you would be subject to legal repercussions.
Free Beer is licensed so that you can do whatever you want with it as long as any derivative work is under the same license and that you give credit to the creators.
I could start a shop that brews and sells Free Beer. I could not do that with Sam Adams (or any other beer for that matter).
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to booze.
Lord, won’t you buy me a big keg of beer?
My friends all have breweries, I must make amends.
Drank hard all my life, with help from my friends.
So Lord, won’t you buy me a big keg of beer?
Because it looks like everybody in this whole round world has
Spilled their beer on me.
*pouts*
Don’t worry, Avis, your song was completely full of WIN! An excellent rendition!
Beer Freedom has had a long and troubled history in the United States. When the nation was founded, there were free beer states and slave beer states. In the mid 19th century, there was much debate over wether beer poured into a Mason-Dixon cup was a free beer or a slave beer.
I’m not drinking wether beer! It tastes like piss.
How is Budweiser like sex in a canoe? Because it’s fucking close to water.
Oooooold Monty Python joke. :p
It’s no joke – it’s the truth.
Oh, I’m not disagreeing! In fact, I couldn’t agree more. *pleh!*
Give me a London porter or Irish red ale any day.
Also…Free Beer is Danish, not Japanese.
Someone needs to loan them an interpreter
Someone needs to interpret them a loaner.
interpret needs to loner them a someone
Some else explained this in te comments….but i think it wont hurt to repeat.
In some countries (like right here in Argentina) we have paid FREE stuff. We use the term Free = Libre as in “without restriction” or “all you can eat/drink” so Pizza Libre =Free Pizza would be “all-you-can-eat pizza”.
Free fail with purchase of fail of equal or greater value.
This is not a fail. It’s just ironic. See http://freebeer.org/blog/archives/138
It’s free as in free speech not as in free beer. There is lies the irony.
Thanks for this!! I was about to correct all of these people. Free Beer is a movement. It’s a statement against copyright laws and is art as much as anything else. It can go for as much as several hundred dollars a bottle. It’s free as in freedom, not as in “here’s a beer for free”
in Reallife itz a beer you can brew by yourself and want to show how opensource works..just search Free beer in Wikipedia…
FAILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a yen for free beer.
You need 499 more. Sorry.
499 bottles of beer on the wall
499 bottles of beer!
Take one down
Pass it around
498 bottles of beer on the wall!!
All together now!
Play Free Beer’d!
Now we’re free…
Free Failin’!
You know, if you name your band “Free Beer”, no bar will ever hire you!
maybe one of them hoy-tee toy-tee wine wine bars might maybe?
Maybe one in Walla Walla?
Chris Chris?
Maybe maybe.
Isn’t that why “Bare Naked Ladies” names themselves that? So that people will come to their shows?
The beer is a lie!
beer
Thanks for those few people who know what this actually is!! Free Beer is a movement. It’s a statement against copyright laws and is art as much as anything else. It can go for as much as several hundred dollars a bottle. It’s free as in freedom, not as in “here’s a beer for free”
Look up “Superflex” and you can realize the amazing things they’re doing for the world.
No such thing as a free lunch or a free beer it seems lol
its free to anyone who donates 500yen to the cause of drunkness
Fail blog fail.
this isn’t free as in “free beer” it’s free as in speech. Check out Freebeer.org
As they say… Nothing is Free.
sextir.com is a free porn site – We provide the world with free: porn videos,porn movies,xxx free movies,free porn,free sex.
Best porn hub and tube on the web
Actuallly Free Beer is a brand. Their gimmick is that the recipe is open. Everyone is free to copy it. That makes the beer free=libre, not free=no cost. Free as in free speech, not as in free beer… Only… You get it. Kthxbye
Hmmm… you guys may be retarded. The 500 Yen is for the listing below it, not the “free beer”.
That guy was drunk. That’s why.
This is not a fail…I belive that when they lack fail pictures, things start to random out and they end up with non-fail pictures like this.
Free Beer is a worldwide movement that tends to create an “open source” standard for home based beer development. What they are selling as shown in the picture is the kit to develop some beers.
entrepreneurship doesn’t mean giving away things for free…