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Cheezburger Network Blog
Humping the machine WIN
Dude I tried humping the machine, and the ice came out and me.
grill almost sound like girl
Nothing like pushing it all the way into a nice fresh mexican girl and doing it hard…
*masturbates*
if you bang the machine long enough, eventually it’ll squirt.
When the machine climaxes, you will get an avalanche.
I accidentally the whole drink machine. What should I do?
Use an action verb.
lawl i saw that post
that post was hilarious!
You should do it hard and all the way.
You should use an action verb, I believe.
fist can be an action verb
First thing you need to do is carefully and then go see a doctor if that doesn’t work.
Eat a urinal cake!!
I have a door in my school with the phrase “Push-Hard!” taped 2 it.
I wish chicks said that to me
Why is that any good? All you’ll get is Ice.
Second!
Third!
Third.
1 2 3 3! WIN!!!
1-2-3-FAIL
1-2-3-wrong post
1-3-2-pong wrost
CHEESSSSSSSEEEE
It’s spelled “chess”, the game of kings.
You’re the Queen of Smacks.
(I’m a poor Fuzz substitute.)
That much is apparent, Admiral!
*smacks PoB*
Ouchies!
.
For the record, AA is A-OK in my book. And the book is called People thepowerofblue Thinks Are OK available in paperback for $7.95 at finer booksellers everywhere.*
.
*Not really. It’d be funny if that actually were a book though!
I thought you were talking about Alcoholics Anonymous at first…
First
Wow, you needed 5 minutes to write a 5 letters comment. Congrats!!
Did you hump your keyboard in the process??
Yes thanks!
Ronber
Oh sorry, I thought this was the ’say your name and say it proud’ thread.
Khaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!
That was too angsty and screamy, Khaaaaaaan.
Say it loud!
*dances to the funky beat*
Say it loud!
*dances some more*
Say it loud!
FIrst?
turd!
…de farce!
I suddenly don’t want any ice.
I’ll have some whiskey, hold the rocks.
Hold your own rocks, I’m busy with this soft drink machine.
You should be warned, it’s as cold as ice. It’s willing to sacrifice your love.
DO NOT WANT!
*masturbates*
MASTURBATES!
*does not want*
WANT!
*does not masturbate*
DOES!
*want masturbate not*
NOT!
*Does want masturbate*
WANT!
*masturbate does not*
GLUURK!
…
*masturbates*
*beats off*
Three other guys?
I love everybody on this nest.
<3 GLUURK <3
*masturbates*
Ice-machine humping… ftw?
Phallus phail, frostbite win.
Dude, it’s not a dry ice-machine.
If your phallus phailed, well, they do make a medicine for that now.
No…
Ice-machine humping… fti.
(For The Ice)
If you need to be told, youre doing it wrong!
HARD and ALL the way IN? Fail.
You got a wicked left hook or something?
If you do that and get ice, you’re doing it wrong.
yea, but you are doing it right you might get kids!
And then you may eat the kid first
Only in Virginia
Or if they are whore kids!
Won’t they be ice-kids?
whore kids come first
(its a reference, teehee!)
In soviet Russia machines push all the way in you – and they do it hard
And that’s why I’m pregnant with twin toasters.
Lucky you, i’m pregnant with refrigerators.
i only got pregnant with microwave ovens. WTF?!?!???!!!!1111
Nuclear radiation will do that to you. I’m hoping for a dishwasher.
I hope my boyfriend doesn’t realise he’s not the father. D’you think I can make the toasters look like him?
Stick a piece of bread in his mouth and shove his nose up onto his forehead…
What a horrible way to die.
Clearly, you need to turn your boyfriend into a cyborg.
We have the technology, we CAN rebuild him.
Except Coyote. He has no technology. We can tell him about it later, though.
Who’s going to pay for the Western Union telegraph?
Telegraph?? He uses smoke signals.
CYLON!!!
In Soviet Russia, Sheep sodomizes YOU!
Fresh… Mexican… Grill.
Okay…
Those aren’t instructions for getting ice.
thank you captain obvious!
Getting ice from a machine like that has a whole new meaning to me now.
You mean a hole new meaning.
At least the ice doesn’t taste as bad as the food in the UK.
Anglophobe!
NO, bad-food-o-phobe. Oh, and in your case, idiotophobe…
Yes, he is afraid of idiots. Like you.
Anyone who uses this as legitimate sex-talk has my undying respect.
I fear there is a slight difference between ‘an ice cube in the mouth’ and actually having sex with an ice machine.
You know, ice cubes don’t JUST go in the mouth.
Neither do loliepops …
…sometimes a cigar is just a cigar….
I once put a fork in the knife drawer!
LOL. Let the good tines roll.
Is it too spoon to say I’m sorry?
Cutlery it out!
Comments won’t spoon below this level.
But dragons will!
*spoons*
Are you a dragon who writes, or a writer who dragons?
“Let the stories be told
They can say what they want
Let the photos be old
Let them show what they want”
That’s pretty forking interesting.
And sometimes your mom is just your mom. But I don’t mind you treating me like a difficult to operate ice machine.
And sometimes your mom is just your mom. Nonetheless, I do love it so when you treat me like a difficult to operate ice machine…
And sometimes your mom is just your mom. But not right now. Please treat me like an improperly functioning ice machine!
And sometimes your mom is just your mom. But not right now. Right now, I want you to pretend your mom is a poorly functioning ice machine. Just like you do every couple of days…
damn, I’m sorry for the failed multiple posts! WTF is up with failblog today? These didn’t show up for hours, so I didn’t think they were posting!
Wow. That is, like, an epic run of fail. *applauds*
I feel your slow-posting pain…
I love how each one is just a little bit different.
I found this hilarious.
Really? I found it tedious.
Five boring posts are boring.
Right. Too bad everyone isn’t clever enough to quote random Cars lyrics.
Yes, but you have trouble counting your toes, so few pay much attention to your petty whining.
p.o.b, you are an annoying prick, and the only action you could get is from an ice machine! keep your unintelligent opinions to yourself, lest i feel the need to slap you.
To get Vanilla Ice
yeah,he is an experienced raper for sure.
When he filled out the application, it just said I’M COOKING MCs LIKE A POUND OF BACON in every blank.
Actually, it said YO YO YO WORD TO YOUR MOTHER on the references line.
DEADLY WHEN I PLAY A DOPE MELODY
ANYTHING LESS THAN THE BEST IS A FELONY
Hehehe, there is a squirt dispenser on the bottom right, I think…
yeah it does
When I read this quickly the first time, I thought the text on the machine said “FRESH MEXICAN GIRL”
Me too!
That would have been the best fail EVAR.
To get ice you push ice all the way in and do it hard?
You would have to cold to do it THAT hard
I forgot be^
Forgetting the Be win?
You would have to cold and accidentally the WHOLE THING!
*humps machine hard*
Fresh Mexican Girl?
Want.
I’d rather get fresh with an Irish girl.
Even though the few teeth that I still have left are black?
Even though the few teeth I have left are black?
Even though the two teeth I have left are a brownish black color?
You’re just failing all over the place, aren’t you? You have MULTIPLE multiple fails going simultaneously…I’m actually a little impressed with the intensity of your fail.
Agreed, and I’m sorry. They weren”t showing up when I posted them. Epic fail.
In you I have Faith No More.
He wants it all, but he can’t have it.
It’s in his face, but he can’t grab it.
What is it? It’s it.
You say, what is it.
Epic reply spam
i’m irish…
And you have nothing; therefore you got what you deserved.
That sign sounds like my wife. So annoying…
She asks for a lot of ice?
A bit frigid?
She often leaves you cold?
is she a cold fishy???
PWNED!!!
Is this how they make milkshakes in cheap joints?
It brings the boys to the yard.
Ice Ice Baby!
yeah, they failed.
Sounds about right. Push it all the way in and do it hard, and you just might get an icy reception.
Man, wtf is the matter with women? *doesn’t understand low sex drives*
Woo, double sex related food fails!
Which makes it harder for you to comment on the wrong fail.
By the way, qwerty, this is random, but I’m going to kill you.
Blasted gravatar. Forgot I wasn’t on punditkitchen.
…No, this is not an actual death threat. Nothing to see here. Move along.
That’s what she said.
thats not what u said last night
Trebek!
PHOTOSHOP FAIL
O_M_G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
1111111111111onehundredeleventhousandonehundredeleven
It’s called “Doin’ the Hillary”
First!!! I OWN YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!
You’re the what one, now?
THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!@@!
Damn! You beat me to it.
and i obeyed
LAST
Leprechan Association of South Tipperary?
Loosely Affiliated Spinal Taps?
Let Ashley Suck Testicles?
Luxembourg Association of the Severely Tired?
Lettuce, Artichokes, Salad and Tomatoes?
OMG! thats my ex! whore!
that’s what she said =P
How do women get ice?
THATS the real fail here.
Photoshop fail!
U R MADE OF WIN
Pussy
thats the only way to do it…
How do lesbians get ice? That’s my question…
*cries*
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!
can i get this ice machine’s phone number?
Thats the worst photoshop ever, hahah. Still funny though
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Sexual Innuendo Win!
Last lol
Thats what she said!!
XD rofl
Matt is a she??
…haha
shrinkage win?
that’s what she said.
they got it all wrong. you get cream by pushing all the way in and hard. not ice.
hmmm, someone needs to be more descriptive…FAIL!
Ow i’ll push it in alright