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Cheezburger Company Blog
Mmmm.. Medical herpes.. sounds delicious
this is actually funnier in norwegian as “Eid” means “Owned”
so i really started laughing at this!!!
it’s REALLY funny in yiddish, but I won’t tell you why.
oh?
actally, no. But the word “yiddish” is funny.
Please Finnish with these silly jokes.
Irish I could.
A-fri-kaan’s worth taking.
I think you’re Russian to judgement there.
I wouldn’t Dutch that if I were you.
I a-Greek.
I just ran. Iran so far away.
Flock of Senegals.
Fine. Aruba it in. There’s Norway I can keep up with you.
I’m so Hungary I could eat a Wale(s).
Would you Per(u)mit me to cook for you? I make a fantastic Baked Alaska.
OUCH!
I think I Spained my ankle.
Would you like an Ice(land) pack for that?
Here, if Ukraine your neck a little, you can see where I Spained it.
Ok, maybe you should sit on my Lapland while I wrap it.
Okay…Bots(I)wana you to respect me, all right?
You know, if you did the Congo less enthusiastically, this wouldn’t keep happening!
I Haiti it when you always blame me for these things!
Belize me when I tell you I will respect you!
I’m sorry! Kenya forgive me for blaming you?
I canada believe this went on for so long. Kenya believe it?
If Kuwait until we’re alone, I’ll show you some forgiveness.
Iraq my brains and I still can’t come up with a suitable pun.
Jamaican me crazy with this waiting stuff… There’s Norway I can take much more of this!
You’re just not as Mali-justed as we are.
True. I agree with Avis, I can’t think of Samoa puns either!
Oman…that sucks. I’m sure you’ll come up with something!
I had a Sudan inspiration. Thanks for the support!
Did you Peruse a book for your inspiration?
Yes, I had Togo to another site.
Damn. They spelled my Suriname wrong on this bill.
I’ve run out of I(n)dias.
Hm. Well, join me for a drink then? How about some Wild Turkey?
I do believe I’m Ghana have some!
*clinks glasses*
It would be an absolute shame Togo this far and have a combobreaker
Do you have any ice Cubas?
Nonsense! Urkrainium should be Belgium with germany more!
Isreali easy! I Amsterdammed if I can do much more though.
Uraguay who knows his way around a pun!
*clinks glasses back*
If you don’t share, Uruguay outta line!
I, however, have Benin a sorry state. I can’t even spell anymore!
Thank you! I’ve Benin a few punny places before, but nothing like this!
Yemen, pass it this way.
Hey, what’s the weather like where you are? It’s supposed to Bahrain here tomorrow, I think.
(Ha. Beatcha to that Laos one!)
I Canada think of any more…
Rain here, too. It causes a general Malaysia whenever it happens.
Damn. I repeated one. I hereby give you permission to hit me with a frying Japan.
You can’t be Syria-s.
I’m trying to Marshall up a game tomorrow. Rain is not desirable.
Cambodia cut it out? this is getting old..
*roffle @ frying Japan*
You know, you should think of taking up a Korea in geography.
Here’s an Afghan-Istan corrected. Maybe it will help keep you warm.
*pours everyone more Scot(ch)land*
Bhutan another hour, I have to drive home!
Why? Is he Chile?
And now we’re grasping so much, the puns are taking a Mal-dive.
Tennessee you guys later
But recent posts Cambodia well for the future.
That Afghan should keep our Netherlands warm, at least!
Can I borrow your shoes? I had to throw my old Paraguay.
Aw why not… Verily, I have newfound(land) a new zealand for this!
Im willing tibet we can keep up this istanbul indefinately!
I once ran into a haitian which doctor who called me by name and said “Saudi-Arabia!”
and I was bannished into the sea for all eternity
All this punning has made me tired Nau-R U?
Uganda, but not without repeating yourself.
We can use cities? What Tokyo so long to tell me?
Tennessee you guys later…
amidoinitrite
O Cayman, now you’ve ruined it. Istanbul was a city, not a country!
Sorry didnt mean to Morocco the boat.
Syriasly, this has gone on much too long!
Vatican go on for a lot longer!
(I used a city, that IS a country… Im such a rebel)
And in doing so, you’ve corrupted a Virgin (Islands) thread!
(HAH! Lunchbox also repeated one! :p )
I’m China think of another one to keep this going, Bhutan other two would be even better.
Phuket, I can’t keep up with you guys
I know.. they’re such Taipei-personalities…
OMG, I can’t believe this thread is still going.
Can’t we just read it, Denmark it as a mission accomplished?
Cant-stop-tinople now, I’m afraid…
Dragon – you’re mistaken. It’s not “Istanbul was a city,” it’s “Istanbul was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople.”
You know…I actually thought that as I was typing!
Guinea a minute and I’ll think of one too!
Czech it out, Venezuela’k this Jan Mayen Street, the pedestrianss all jump outaa the road like there’s Trabil afoot.
I’m simply Basque-ing in the glory of all these puns.
c-c-c-COMBO BREAKER
Uganda be kidding me, how did you manage to go this long?
Somehow we managed. Polish-ed stuff. Wonder how london thiswill go though.
i’m Uganda Russia to the nearest hospital. i think i Spained my neck!
thanks Loz, for starting this!
you failatio
I like how funny face, who is probably a 12 year old boy, just discovered the name of this sexual act (probably, by the way, one that his step-father has been practicing with him nightly for years) and is now feeling the need to share it with us in every post.
My last name is Felching. I wonder which one of my ancestors earned that surname?
Actually that is not felching at all. But nice try.
HAHAHAHA
…and a shotgun blast to the face is the act in which I would murder you, if you were more than just text on a screen.
life-outside-of-the-internet FAIL
Hey, boy wonder, you’re more than welcome to meet me for a little fisticuffs.
5905 Lake Earl Dr, Crescent City, CA. If I’m not home, just let yourself in. It’s pretty much where you belong, with all your tough talking bullsh^t. My room-mates would love a pretty boy like you, that’s for sure!
So, what are you in for?
LOL… Troll-smashing, 1st degree. My parole officer thinks I’m commenting on Icanhascheezburger, not here!
Well, this IS under the ICHC “umbrella” as it were.
Early parole for good behavior?
Ummmm…. define “good” behavior? Is there a standard?
I most certainly DO have standards, theng-kew-veddy-much!
ROFFLE!
You must be talking to Lunchbox there. I am MUCH too much of a good-girl
to even NEED parole!
Of course!
*winks knowingly*
*grins*
You big silly! You put a different address than where you live. Your clever is bigger than my clever! And also you put a jail address, not a house address! you so crazy! Where is the house where your bed lives?
…I think royallyfuked is right, you probably ARE a twelve-year-old. Or younger. “You big silly”? “Where is the house where your bed lives”? “your clever is bigger than my clever”? Is your IQ a positive integer, or do we have to dig to find it?
Will you please stop posting that everywhere?
Will you please stop posting that everywhere?
ANGER FAIL
Get your anger in check…
Hey, boy wonder, you’re more than welcome to meet me for a little fisticuffs.
5905 Lake Earl Dr, Crescent City, CA. If I’m not home, just let yourself in. It’s pretty much where you belong, with all your tough talking bullsh^t. My room-mates would love a pretty boy like you, that’s for sure!
Hilarious. How does a blunder in an add like this possibly happen? “Medical Herpes & Spice.” They probably meant to say “Medical Herbs & Spice,” but someone just did a major job of fudging up the translation.
Not as good as the herpes you can get on the street.
True. I always try to shop locally for my herpes.
I thought you needed a prescription to get medical herpes.
Well that was true until recently but there’s been so much American style deregulation in VD that you can pretty much buy what you want from your local clap market.
They deregulated STDs? Woohoo, I want some shares in gonorrhoea!
And now’s a great time to invest, what with share prices being at rock bottom.
just make sure you consult your herpetologist first.
You want to make sure you don’t have reptile dysfunction before taking medical herpes.
Ooh, good point. Otherwise your cobra insurance might not cover boa-th the ED and herpes.
If that happened I’d definitely coral with them about that.
You get ‘em, raelalt! Tell ‘em you won’t turn turtle and run!
(Btw…I have a tattoo of a little red lizard. Of course I named
him Eddie Lizard.)
ohhh, pics pls.
*snork*
I’ll see what I can do!
Okay…click my name to see the little red lizard!
What a nice lizard, beats the hell out of Geico’s.
Why, theng-kew!
Awww that’s very cute… I like that you’re a dragon with a lizard tattoo.
Heee! Tanks. I love my lizard.
(Of course I also have two dragon tats and a few others here and there…!)
Hourglass figure… you’re doin’ it right.
*smile*
{forgot to mention}
Nice! I’ve got a dragon myself, I’d love to compare… There’s a sappy story behind it, too.
Thanks!
And I love sappy stories. Tell me.
(You can sorta kinda see my first dragon in my avatar, but clickie my name to see a big pic of the whole thing.)
Please post the story? I’ve got an enormous frog skeleton on my leg, but I don’t have a good sappy story.
*hunkers down, chin in hands, and waits for storytime to start*
Very nice!!! I love the contrast of vibrant colors with black lines.
Soooo, when I went overseas for a year, my spouse replaced me. I got the tattoo for my kids- a dragon holding a banner with their initials- so they would know they’re always with me, always part of me.
I just realized, I can’t get to the website that has my pic (damn filters!) so I will post tomorrow from home to show you.
Awww…! I love that story! I look forward to seeing the tat.
Mine comes from my books. In my last novel, my characters say, “A dragon at your back” to say “hello” or “goodbye”. As if to say, “May you always be as safe and protected as if you had a dragon guarding your back.”
I decided I really needed a dragon at my back. So I designed this one. I love knowing that she’s there.
(Okay, the “I love that story” does NOT include the part about your wife replacing you. That part sucks big time.)
Thanks, and I kinda figured that’s what you meant. I really like the “Dragon at your back” saying. Mine is on my right shoulder blade, because I wanted my dragon to be my protector, and carries the kids initials to protect them as well… very fitting, I think.
Another thing that came out of all of this is my favorite phrase, “Everything happens for a reason”… I met the true love of my life after that, and am very happy. Everything for a reason!
Oh yay!! I’m very glad to hear that.
The true love of my life seems determined not to be found. Hmph…daft man.
Daft indeed, Dragon.
I thought I’d never find him until I stopped looking. And there he was.
American securities are among the most heavily regulated.
knowledge FAIL
You consider knob rot a form of security?
Well it is guaranteeing less nookie. So… post intercourse abstinence win?
Not even close
Sprinkle some on your pizza.
Just shop around. Down town has some quality herpes for cheap prices.
Funny, I thought eid seen this at the Souk in Arafjian, but that must have been an-atar shop…
He said “Eid”!!
Where does Fuzz keep that TMI hat… anyways:”Eid” means “holiday” or “Festivity” in Arabic (like Eid el-Fitr, the holiday at the end of the Ramadan month).
Maybe if you negotiate properly you can get spicy medical herpes
I got my spicy medical herpes just south of the border one Friday night.
I prefer the recreational kind
I accidentally a bottle of medical herpes.
What should you do???
Use an action verb!
Thank you for not saying first and actually posting a witty commment.
Thank you for not nesting correctly.
Thank you for the days; those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I’m thinking of the days; I won’t forget a single day believe me.
Nice X)
last days ?
The Lord’s supper?
Thank you for the music.
…the songs we’re singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing.
Thank you for the memories.
I could live without that post. I ask in honesty. What would life be?
Life is but a dream.
Apparently a merry one.
Ive always found childhood to be the stream and life to be the huge
fracking waterfall up ahead.
That’s such a ‘glass is half empty’ outlook!
That depends. I look at it in the terms of Im heading to the tropical
lagoon the waterfall empties out into that is retirement
People will waste their money on just about anything!
Waste??? I think getting medical herpes is a wonderful investment.
He who controls the spice controls the herpes-verse!
That picture is what I’ve always thought god would look like, if he wasn’t all made up and stuff.
LOL.
You think God is balding?
Depends which god you worship, no?
Of all the religions that have God’s floating face in the sky, I don’t think any of them have a balding God.
How do you know what they look like?
God came to me in my dream, told me to take over the world. He wasn’t balding.
I didn’t realise fluffy was actually President Bush!
You know.. this is the second time you called me president Bush. Took me a long long time to get over it the first time. You should not be going around and insulting people like that.
I’m sorry, but you were so convincing.
But Fluffy can put together a coherent sentence.
Look out…. HES GOT A GUN!!!
oh FFS… I’m not Cheney, or Bush.. I’m not even a man. Stop insulting me like that.
Fluffy, this just hasn’t been your week, has it? Don’t worry, we all know you’re neither Bush or Cheney. If either of them actually came near Failblog, the world as we know it would implode.
awwww…. *hugs*
and yeah.. I’m more of a shrubbery.
God would have a moustache ? oh, dear !
a hairless hindu?
wait, no there is that prominant moustache
See, now this is further blurring the distinction between the Engrish site and this site. Really, the two aren’t different enough to keep separate (similar to my feelings to the lolcats, which are cats/walrus/ferret/hamster/etc and loldogs, which are only dogs).
Oh shush, who really cares?
If that sort of thing keeps you up at night, you shouldn’t be allowed on the internet.
seconded
thirded…
Thirded..
Go with the flow, Eddy.
*swirls*
*buffs*
*coils and curves*
*spins*
*resonates*
*harmonizes*
*syncopates*
*rosins his baton*
*conducts*
*rhapsodizes*
*advertises* for the Failblog Symphonic Orchestra
Totally disagree… Engrish is specifically for bad translation while this site has tons of FAILS that fall outside of the foreign translation realm.
Wait, I think I studied Spanish there…
I think this spice business is another one of his pyramid schemes.
I sphinx you’re right!
I think you’re in de-Nile.
Runny nose ruining your day? Get Medical Herpes™ and throw your worries away!
.
Side effects may include sores, blindness, neurological damage, death, and considerable decline in love life and general respectability. Not approved for therapeutic use.
Kind of the same concept as “If I hit you in the head with a hammer you’ll stop thinking about your stomachache”.
How many EL’s do you need??
That depends- Does El Cid count?
You definitely need one in elephant.
And ‘archipelago’.
Couldn’t fly El Al without it…
Oh, bloody ‘ell.
We’ve resorted to cursing? That’s just swell!
Lol herpes. xD
Herpes, the Greek god for scabby lips!
Had an epic battle with Vaseline, the Goddess of botox.
What’s the difference between love and herpes?
Herpes is forever.
These ‘Medical Herpes’ are GARAUNTEED to cause herpes. Kid tested, mother approved.
I’d rather they were guaranteed.
To hell with that, I don’t want guaranteed herpes. I would rather have the “it might be herpes but it’s probably a pimple.”
SNAKE! SNAKE! Oh its a snake!
I badger, badger, badger, badger…….
Posting on the right fail fail. Unless you have herpes on your snake, that is.
Whoever said the herps don’t have medicinal value? Helped me get over my fear of using cream.
Maybe its not a typo
Only one way to know for sure…want a sample?
strange flavor…
hi i pooped