Animal Recording Fail
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pretty big snake…..
If I had a nickle for every time I heard that…
…you wouldn’t have any nickles?
Small penis joke, nice work Loz. At least Jack rises above all that.
I am Jack’s erectile dysfunction.
(I just realised it should be spelled ‘nickel’, but I’m not American and I’m sticking to that as an excuse.)
Ignorance is bliss.
BTW, where did you get erectile dysfunction from? The joke was that he has a small penis, this may not mean that he has erectile dysfunction.
You were talking about him ‘rising above’ it…
I love it. The trolls don’t even get their OWN jokes, let alone ours.
We knew they were dim-witted, but damn!
It’s like the internet is slowly imploding in on itself.
as opposed to imploding out off itself
A quick redundancy check for you. ‘Implode’ already implies it’s inward. Nicely done otherwise, though.
it already has friend… it already has….
*hums dust in the wind*
You’re the one that brought up Jack’s “rising”!
Tee-hee, so you did spot it! +1 on the pun score please.
Bend over and I’ll show you Jack’s rising…
(actually, I won’t, but it seemed like a good place for a gasman resurrection.)
orgasman?
You fail to cover your fail.
Felching is a sexual practice in which semen or other fluids are sucked out of the vagina or anus of a partner. The acts of sucking the semen and then passing it, mouth to mouth or open mouth kissing, is referred to as “snowballing”; although the latter is typically associated with semen ejaculated into a mouth from fellatio.
Ok, but now it’s time you wiped your face off.
You could at least change your trollpost up once in a while.
As it is, funny face, you’re just boring.
And you know this…. Why?….
wow they stole my video
The doc always was a bit slow.
*necessary nesting-fix*
Well, the doc may be slow, but castration may be a bit extreme, don’t you think?
Well I may be castrated, but at least I have a Darwin Award in my trophy cabinet (next to my balls).
*throws apples*
How do you like them apples?
Not very much if she throw them.
That depends on her aim.
I accidenty the apples.
Remember: When life gives you apples, make lemonade!
uh… I don’t get your joke?
of course not, you make lemonade from oranges!
ewww!
(^ @ Dragon)
I bet you did!
LEMONade from ORANGES?
GOD you’re stupid!
i am jack’s smirking revenge
It’s so small, you really can’t tell…
that’s what she said.
She also said “STFU”.
Gesundheit!
Dilbert refrence ftw or no?
Do non-americans have a different peroidic table?
No, although we do spell some elements differently (not Nickel).
We also spell it ‘periodic’.
Lol
And Linelor – all nations/languages have the same symbols for each element, but a lot of them have different names. Here in Aus the elements have the same names but standard American/British English spelling differences apply, as Loz said.
I peroidically invest in platinium.
Platinum*
Chemical Symbol = Pt
lol, my bad :-\
yes retard, elements are country-dependent! duh
You must be part of the boron group.
aluminum
aluminium
sulFur! *shudders*
What the devil are you doing capitalizing a letter in the middle of a word?
The devil made me do it, obviously!
What color dress was this “devil” wearing?
I can see where that might be the source of some fire and brimstone.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
I don’t know what colour, but it was Prada.
Hmm. I’ll bet I can start a fire in your brimstone.
(And Loz…again, I was talking to the Admiral…sorry! :p)
The devil was in a blue dress Avis. Good golly!
no I’m sure the devil has a red dress, red dress on.
Mitch Ryder And The Detroit Wheels say that you’re color blind.
Dragon, I knew that, I was only joking
…or was it wishful thinking…
The devil’s dress was blue, of course.
Aluminum is wrong.
No, it’s just been foiled.
ggrrooooooaaannnnnn
I think you’ve got this one all wrapped up.
Time to prove your mettle?
Let me alloy your fears about that.
Ok, it was funny at first, but maybe we should let it rust now.
Wow, this thread has really disintegrated into fragments.
What metal will you bond to his fears, and wouldn’t that only makethem stronger???
Or did you mean “allay”?
why do brits pronounce it al-u-mini-um when it’s spelled aluminum?
well, lt obvious.. it can be spelled both ways, and pronounced both ways.
He thought he was beryllium but turned out to be a boron.
Nice one
Periodically, yes.
Yes. Chuck Norris destroyed our periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Ah, nice to see that you not constricting yourself to choking hazard comments.
Arrrh.
You accidenty the comment!
[insert lol]
What about fear, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope?
NOBODY expects Chuck Norris!
But everyone expects boring Chuck Norris jokes.
There are no Chuck Norris jokes. Everything said about Chuck Norris’ awesomeness is true.
(Chuck Norris facts won’t nest below this level) Unless they’re posted by Chuck Norris himself.
I can kill two stones with one bird.
Yes they will…
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
*sorry gratuitous Monty Python joke needed*
Or the Spanish Inquisition!
Omg. I just laughed the snot out of my face.
My periodic table is sporadic, at best, anymore. I think it’s my age. I’m peri-menopausal.
fixed: “.. every time i said that.”
[3rd grade]
If you think it’s so pretty why don’t you marry it?
[/3rd grade]
*Headdesk*
FIRST!
FAIL….
*facepalm*
*hug*
*hugs Dragon back*
And how are you this fine evening?
I’m doing okay. Had a doc’s appt today, which always stresses me out. So I guess I’m being a wussy little dragon today.
*Offers shoulder*
*leans*
Did they look down your throat and up your
…medical records?
Well…not exactly. They stuck needles in me and scheduled an MRI.
MRIs and CAT scans aren’t bad. I wasn’t claustrophobic till I had one though.
I forgot about the contrast agent for the CAT scan. That IS god awful.
FLAWLESS VICTORY
I jumped :S
REPLY WARS
I wonder how this will turn out? Will the snake try to bite the camera man?
I think the camera man ’s dead. True story.
shuddap.. you dont know a thing about what happened in this clip. true story
True stories I just made up.
That’s a damn good movie. “I really enjoy forgetting. When I first come to a place, I notice all the little details. I notice the way the sky looks. The color of white paper. The way people walk. Doorknobs. Everything. Then I get used to the place and I don’t notice those things anymore. So only by forgetting can I see the place again as it really is.”
I WIN…. CONFIRMED.
You win? David Byrne wins.
Byrne and Eno have hooked up again. I heard one of the tunes on the radio this morning.
!! How was it?
Catchy and quirky.
And the name is?
http://www.everythingthathappens.com/
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A
Are you lost?
snake whats wrong? snake?? SNAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!
Lies.
you forgot start…
konami code ftw
30 lives in Contra?
IDKFA
FAIL!
it’s:
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Select Start
30 lives granted !!!
CONTRA cheat WIN – Late 20s WIN – Memory WIN
Transcendent comment FAIL.
I know the people involved in this video. This was at one of the Caterpillar plants in South America. Cameraman is fine, camera was on a long stick. It really happened all in one take and without trying plan the snake jumping or anything.
I know the woman who shot this…she’s fine, she was using the zoom on her cam, and dropped it out of surprise when the snake ‘attacked’
What a nice doggie:)
His favourite food is faces!
He’s a precious little lamb. I wonder where his mummy is.
ask Ra
holy even jesus would piss his pants
No dude, he was cool even when nailed to the cross, so…
Not cool.
do you prefer to think he screamed like a little girl?
hehe
very cool
I don’t know man…. ever since the Garden of Eden Jesus hasn’t been the same around snakes….
Roffle!
(*Really hopes that was a purposeful joke*).
Jesus was in the Garden of Eden?
Jesus and Chuck Norris both.
Dude, Jesus could just walk over and sit down on that and it probably wouldn’t care.
It would depend if its mouth was open or not.
I jumped. *shudder* I hate snakes!
Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.
snakes…
why did it have to be snakes…
They raped Inidiana Jones! They raped our friend! I can’t go on living like this…
South Park reference WIN
Hilarious South Park reference WIN. Great episode. “It’s over, we caught
Lucas and Speilburg raping a Storm Trooper”
Wasps. Not that dangerous unless you’re allergic. You went first.
Well, conveniently, the first aid kit was nearby.
But you really REALLY have to need to get into that kit!
WASPS are dangerous, especially if the golf course isn’t available.
I was shocked, I didn’t expect it ^^
I saw it coming a mile away.
Or is it 6 feet away?
I saw it coming too, but it still made me jump.
Oh, sorry.
*snork*
It came everywhere.
Did you get it in your eye?
No, he left it all over the candle.
I didn’t jump.
I have no legs. So I can’t jump.
I hate you.
Me too! I didn’t think snakes that large moved that fast!
[Insert joke about genitalia]
That’s what she said?
Loser.
his favriot food is sausages
my sausage is definitely your mom’s favourite.
Chipolatas are her favourite after all!
I didn’t think she liked Peperamis.
Vienna sausage on a toothpick is her favorite?
They recover the video camera from the lump in the snakes belly sever days later. Pwned!
Blair Snake Project.
jOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOsh
What is a “belly sever”?
my moms a snake ;D
Can she type?
That’s not what your dad meant when he said she was legless all the time.
yeah I can type…. *recovered* and *several*
You’re also great at replying to the right comment.
(Ra’s won’t nest correctly at any level.)
I thought gods were infallible?
I thought it was just monotheistic religions that had an infallible god. It would be rather messy to have infallible gods in a polytheistic religion, what with the tendancy of gods in such set ups to come into direct opposition with one another.
My religion has an inflatable God.
You’re an ancient Egyptian?
(^ insert Min reference)
Is it a sex doll? Please?
That’s what I was sort of alluding to with my obscure reference to Min. The inflatable penis slide fail etc.
That is a God of sorts, I suppose. It does spawn grown children at an unhealthy rate.
The Egyptian gods had a bit more….. personality. Like the Greek gods but but with waaaay more incest.
Hahaha. Oh. Okay.
I didn’t know you could get more incestuous than the Greek Pantheon…
I contend that point – haven’t you heard of Oepedis?
(Seek alternate spellings. See also: Zeus).
Am i the only one thinking the bite sound is weird ?
I was too bust exclaiming a curse to hear it.
Don’t just stand there, bust a move!
I’m gonna Busta Rhymes.
I’m gonna Buster Bloodvessel.
You gonna do that wearing your Buster Browns?
I hate seals!
I didn’t hear any weird sound bites.
You obviously haven’t been watching Fox News.
Switching name back FAIL.
True identity revealed?
Nope.
Admiral Apparent: “I didn’t hear any weird sound bites.”
.
No? I thought it was quite incisive. If a little long in the tooth.
Though the lack doesn’t even put a dentin the fear part of the video.
Sometimes the tooth hurts.
And i think that caps off this segment.
voyeur fail
that scared me to death.
Zombie typer!
pardon?
If you were scared to death… you died. And you’re typing. You’re a zombie.
More like a ghost writer.
Damn, didn’t someone have a machete earlier?
Lol, good one.
HOLY EFFIN CRAP!! ….just crawled out from underneath the desk.
Yeah. That scared the bejeezus out of me. I gots no bejeezuses left at all.
Here, have some of mine. We’re really bored at work today.
*passes a few bejeezuses to Dragon*
Ooh, thanks!
*tries them on*
…Hey! These are bejuseses!
poop your pants win!
well, if that’s a win for you than go ahead.
clean undergarment FAIL
Molly Maid Laundry WIN (I’m not cleaning up)
What a f-tard.
15
yeah, i’ve seen this clip before, but every time, it makes me laugh
This is why you get a wide angle shot, preferably with the head in view at all times.
This is why we simply shouldn’t adopt snakes.
I’ll adopt your snake, point?
knew it was coming, but i still jumped
Yeah.. PERFECT timing Mr. Snake!
(and only 25 takes to get it just right…)
Now we just need a Steve Irwin dialogue to make it hilarious:
“My goodness, would ya look at the size of thah snake. He shouldn’t be here in the concrete jungle, his home is out in the… AAAH”
LOL!!1
great great video…
no longer available…
FAILED!
But it is longer available…
Your computer sometimes lies about Youtube if the connection drops out…
Or if you haven’t cleared your browser’s cache in a while.
Wonder if a camera tastes like chicken…
http://mylifeiscrap.com
Same here… knew it was gonna happen, still jumped
Omg so not funny. I don’t get why this is posted.
because anyone retarded enough to slowly walk up to the head of a snake, in close fashion to a predator stalking, is truely made of fail, whether it’s funny or not.
show to unsuspecting friends and family. watch the reaction. laugh.
Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAKE!!!!
24 hours with the king of snake
K-k-king of snake
king of snake
dog man and the king of snake
mongoose and the king of snake!!!
snake fighting…it’s very scary…fighting snake
snake-fighting/life…strong food answering drink at midnight
*dances dances DANCES!!!!*
Ok, I can’t resist…
*DANCES DANCES DANCES!!!*
BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadger
Mushroom! Mushroom!
Repeat it initely. Badger WIN!!! \o/
Youtube reference WIN
Quote emplacement FAIL
Browser FAIL, i’d have replied to Nytshad
fail in recognizing fail?
Nope, it has been happening a lot at the moment. I think the FAIL Blog servers are getting rusty.
Rusty Trumpet?
…or badgerbadgerbadger.com reference.
Totally didn’t know that was an actual website. Domain name WIN.
SNAKE!
saw it commin, still jumped…
it sure is a fail, but nor really funny :/ …
if you didn’t see the fail, smell your pants
Bah, you call that danger?
I’ve had better.
What happens in this clip? All your comments freak me out, I can’t watch it! But, I’m curious, lol.
Just click the play button.
Why can’t you watch it?
Probably work filter restrictions.
Because everyone said they were freaked out by it!
God, nevermind, I just watched it. That was nothing. I thought it was gonna eat someone or something!
…you were actually scared to watch a video on failblog because of the comments?
Hahaha.
Work filters suck
I can’t watch.
GET BACK TO WORK DAMN IT!!!
this was posted on a norwegian site. snake is dead. it’s just a bad dead-snake joke. boo!
It’s not dead, just pining…
Monty Python reference win!
It’s not dead, just pwning …
It’s not dead, it’s resting… Beautiful plumage!
It’s a snake, you can tell by the legs.
The dead-snake joke is the oldest one in the book.
last
Not necessarily.
That sucks.
No, I think it bit, from the looks of it.
i bite…
Caraca!!!
PWNT! PWNT! PWNT!
But there is only one yard to go and only 30 secs left on the clock!!!
Agree’d.
I expected something like that. Or for the person to look down and realize that theres a snake wrapped around them
FAILBLOG FAIL….. For calling a reptile an Animal….. FAIL
OMFG WIN! Didnt even notice! LOL
FailBlog FAIL….. Calling a reptile an Animal…. FAIL
W>T>F!!!
So, in your universe reptiles are plants?
ummmm, school much? Snakes are reptiles retard….. Se7en was right FAILBLOG FAILED!
Anacondas are boa constrictors.
Boa constrictors are snakes.
Snakes are reptiles.
Reptiles are vertebrates.
Vertebrates are animals.
Therefore, snakes are animals.
This information garnered via a 3 second web search.
Animals are every species that belong to taxonomic Kingdom Animalia, which includes class Reptilia. Mammals (four-limbed hairy animals that feed their young on milk, which includes humans) are not the only animals on Earth.
Same mistake George Bush (the first one) made when he wondered why “animal lovers” were upset he was shooting birds.
And the Catholic Church for classifying anything that swims or lives in water as a “fish”.
OMFG. That is too awesome for words.
I literally gasped out loud at the end! I knew what was coming but still couldn’t stop myself…*shakes head shamefully*
Really impressed by the intelligence and thoughtfulness of these comments.
Oops! I crapped my pantz!
you guys r sad go get a life or something and doont comment being lik FIRST n that shit its just. lame. get a life. stop watching anime. stop jacking off. get laid. go party
You have the username “TiredOfFools” yet somehow you’re the only commenter so far to consistently use incorrect spelling and punctuation. FAIL!
Attempting to convince people that you’ve managed to get laid AND have a life FAIL!
Trying to look cool by telling people who’ve commented on a video about a snake attack to stop watching anime and jacking off FAIL!
FAIL + FAIL + FAIL = EPIC FAIL
*masturbates*
Mah eye! It bit me in mah eye!!!
Its a snake, i can tell from the pixels and seeing lots of shooped pictures in my time.
Hello!!!
Ok,ok….
i agree with you…
When did they sneak a camera inside my pants ?
That looks like my ex’s Columbian Rainbow Boa. His was only five feet or so long, but it did bite me once. It’s scary with how fast they move, but somewhat anticlimactic, since it hurts less than a cat bite, and is less likely to get infected.
I’m AWAKE!
snake. crotch. ow.
Holy shit. That was scary.
wow. that video is soooo old. i this already a few months ago….
Very suspenseful
LAWL. That snake was totally ready and waiting -*wait ’til he gets to my face – wait ’til he gets to my face … NAO!*.
lol.. that sucks.
I would cry.. if I had time to cry.
haha
DO NOT WANT v_v
Lol, when I watched this the first time, it scared the Hell out of me.
Ya, the snake was like. “Come a little closer… Closer… Almost there… Clooooser… Gotcha!!”
Did the cameraman actually die?
By the way, the snake reminds me of something.. Hmm..
They never post fails where people actually die.
I can has faceburger?
And now I have coffee on my shirt
oh my gosh..
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!
FAIL.
I failed.
holy god imagine something that size coming out at ya!
Shit that’s funny!
scary as hell
Pwnd.
LoooooooooooooooooongSnake
Snake! Snake!! Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!! O__O
Scared the shit outta me
Crikey!
Hrm, maybe my industry should make snake-like “novelties” with that quick, springing action… I’m off to do some research!
fake=]]]
sumthing tells me hes runing back to the idiot-moble
not real.
Last!