Submitted by Dan N
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Cheezburger Company Blog
That’s what my knob looks like!
But do you have to turn it clockwise to activate the jets?
Any way works to be honest. But you have to be light of touch as it’s very sensitive.
MY knob turns all the way to 11!
That’s ridiculous. It’s not even funny.
in soviet russia, knob turns you!
My pockets hurt.
My rocket’s pert.
Is that a rocket in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Is there a rocket in my socket?
That sounds painful
Bwow chikka.
There’s a wocket in my pocket!
good ta know??
Is your knob photoshopped too?
Well, you’re knob isn’t that big now is it?
Nothing to see here people. Keep moving it along.
And yes, running for the hills counts as “moving it along”…
Does screaming, yelling PANIC! and causing chaos count as ‘moving it along’?
Sure. I’ll also accept shouting “Run away!” and retreating from the castle.
Right.
*Screams PANIC! and rushes around, arms flailing*
Fetchez la vache
Are the coconuts required?
totalli
Should I bring a shrubbery?
Only if you promise not to say, “Ni”.
Okay.
*Whispers in a very small voice*
Ni!
Thank you. Now, what is your favorite color?
Blue. No, green BLAAAAAAARGH!….
What type of swallow?
Type?
BLAAAAAAAH
Monty Python quote fail.
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
KEEPER: What? I don’t know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Monty Python quote used as double entrende realization FAIL.
All this talk about knobs and which way to twist them along side of several references to Monty Python’s most popular movie obviously made TheKingofSnacks quote an easily recognizable portion of the movie in a way that could be taken out of context, depending on the depravity of the person reading.
Bravo TKofS, it is a reply worth applauding.
THese aren’t the knobs you’re looking for.
These aren’t the knobs I’m looking for.
These aren´t the knobs we´re looking for.
But they’re the knobs I’m looking for
Oh, that reminds me – you never did pick up your meat snack, PWG
Your Jedi tricks won’t work on me, girl.
If you flip that switch, it turns out the lights on the entire planet.
Cut it out.
Make me! *flip*
That really turns me on!
I don’t think we’d work out, Lunchbox…you don’t own a car.
A ‘car’… does one ever really ‘own’ their ‘car’???
usually the car owns you
Only in… S….
*shuts up*
In Soviet Russia, car drives you.
argghh i had a better one, i was gonna do
in soviet russia, jets activate you!
Someone had to.
*turns knobs clockwise* PINCH!
AAH! Tune in Tokyo! Ouch!
And now for the news.
The world was thrown into financial turmoil today when all the lights in Tokyo went out simultaneously. Stocks plummeted as stockbrokers could not see whether they were buying or selling and the prime minister could not see his hands.
And now for something completely different.
It’s…
Flaunty Python’s Crying Turkish!
I didn’t know confectionery could cry.
How sad. They’re usually so delightful!
*snort* purple nurple! *giggles uncontrollably in a fit of juvenility*
That’s because you didn’t have to suffer it.
*giggles in controllably*
… said the clueless troll fool to the wry droll comic.
said ur king and god! Stand up when im talking to u!
^ Lives under a bridge, is bested by goats
^ Also has conversations with letters, believes he’s the king of a city that’s been gone for thousands of years, and considers himself the acquaintance of a god.
Wow, someone who remembers that “cut it out” light switch joke by Steven Wright! (Well I guess Steven Wright would be the most likely to remember.)
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just for the hell of it. Yesterday, I got a call from this guy in France. He said, “Cut it out.”
I guess you had to be there.
In France?
Always! <3
Righto! I’ll meet you on the Pont Neuf!
Okay, that makes seines!
You’re such a Notre-ble Dame!
Ei ffel-t that you deserved it
I’d like to m-Arc de Triomphe of these jokes!
I wish they were a bit more Nice.
Be honest – I know you’re eager for more, you’re champagne at the bit!
What gaul! Still I suppose one has to keep aBrest of the situation.
♬ In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Lyons sleep toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…! ♬
You combined the Lion King and France! I love you!
Can he do that?!
Corsican! In fact, I’ll ‘Alp!
I show Marseille-f out…
In the Grande Chartreuse monastery in the Chartreuse Mountains, the chartreuse-colored liqueur, chartreuse, is made by the Chartreusiennes.
Loz = Our Wheat Lady ?
It doesnt turn the lights or jets on. It turns the DARK on.
So what’s the speed of dark? And how do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
Invisible ink? Well, if you’re riding a horse named Nicky around the apartment, and his hooves slide on the tiles…
Here’s how to make invisible ink:
dark doesn’t have speed. Dark has YOU. as for invisible ink, only Chuck Norris’ holy eyes may tell.
To activate jets, turn knob. To activate FAIL, flip switch to upward position.
That looks fake to me…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
IT IIIIIIS PHOOOOOOOTOOOOOSHOOOPED!!!!!!!!!!!1111111+shift+yourmom
*masturbates*
*masterbayts*
*masteurbaits*
Everything looks fake to someone.
*cries*
am i the only failblogger who thought the “Everything looks fake to someone.” comment sounded sexual?
*pretends to cry*
it but *cries* but fake it but is.
FIRST!
In Soviet Russia Knob switch flips you counter clockwise
that 1 wasn’t intilligent! :-/
… said the fool to the clown.
as the Jester peered on from the chandelier…
…and the cynic smirked to himself…
…………………..
…………………..
…………………..
…………………..
*waits for a wild pac-man to take the bait*
…as the wild Pac-Man for whom thepowerofblue waited took the bait…
waka waka waka waka waka…
Is that you, Fozzie?
(Muppets won’t nest below this level)
(Except for Sam the Eagle)
(Eagles won’t nest below this level)
(No, they’ll nest AT this level)
ok it’s better to be a clown, then a fool like you.
Not according to Shakespeare.
lol who cares about Shake spears today?
Byhtnoth speech-made, shield-board grasped
shook his slender spear of ash, spouted words
all-one-angry-minded answered back:
‘do you hear what this folk says?’
angry german kid – leopold aka AGK?
cont!
very nice
*gives Dragon a you-know-what in a tribute to her poisoned darts
and practiced words, that honor to the bard’s slings and arrows that take arms against a sea of trolls*
first provocate ppl, then callm trolls, not nice i say…
Please, do explain how to provocate? I was wondering that just this morning!
i have done with this troll, and will henceforth cllam up and make no reply to anything he should post
(ur mom’s ass wont nest below this level)
Ditto.
Woooow, yoooou areeee sooooo smaaaart
*smarturbates*
fuzz is a fggt
Your summation that Fuzz is a “fggt” amuses me. Is it because you’re threatened by:
1. a cultured, well spoken male,
2. the fact that his sense of humor is miles above your third-grade intellect,
3. the idea that someone here can outwit you simply by breathing,
OR,
4. all of the above
[the correct answer is 4, in case you wondered]
Ownage is in order.
i just say fuu!
Lunch is a fggt lulz
More like “lunchisafggt is a fggt”, amirite?
Is this the style that you use when you critique a students paper? If not, please don’t tell me so. That would shatter my illusions.
*wink*
*smooch*
*sneaks in and attaches a plastic “juses and the children” light switch plate to the knob*
Heh.
Hah.
Hee.
Haa.
Ho.
Bondfan gets to come first?
I prefer strumpet, personally.
I go for harlot, myself.
Yeah, I could really go for a harlot right now.
I’ll stick with a S.L.U.T.
I know Sean Kennedy said the world needs more sluts, but i don’t think he hat trolleys in mind
sgsf
drgns a dryd up cnt
Technically, it should be “dryd-up cnt”, with a hyphen. Just for future reference.
Technically, it’s “Askagod is a useless piece of wastoid feces, not deserving of recognition or reply”, just for future reference.
*smacks ASSkagod with a frozen mackerel*
That’s for being an uncouth, crass, lowlife scum.
*hugs Lunchbox*
*bows*
Methinks M’Lady doth not deserveth such…
Okay, I suck at middle English… well, most English, reallly.. lol
It’s the thought that counts! I’m such a pushover for the courtly tongue…
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez; Objection; Over ruled; Guilty; Innocent.
*snork*
*falls over*
And it’s clear, for someone to post such arrestingly hateful stuff — and by “arrested”, I mean to include their blocked moral and personal development — has got to have a pitiably “dried up” heart. (And I really mean pitiable.)
I prefer to read it as Dragon being a dryad in an epic poem.
My guys.
*happy sigh*
{{hugs!}}
I am still not clear on why he/she/it would call Dragon a Carbon Nano Tube. It makes no sense.
Maybe the guy’s obsessed with nanotechnology?
Haw.
Knob sold seperately.
It’s a binary clock.
*golf clap on, golf clap off*
There was some confusion with the installation…yes, there was supposed to be a knob to activate the jets, but the switch was originally intended to activate Benny.
Which Benny would that be? Hill or Goodman?
B-b-b-benny, rather.
Yes, but do the Jets accompany him?
No, that would be Cheney.
Cheney??
*ducks*
A duck?!
*pulls out shotgun and shoots*
*gets shot*
OW!
“The most dangerous VP ever”. Hear, hear.
I vote for Benny Hill, by the way.
Hill?
*Benny Hill theme tune*
I’ll buy that for a dollar!
It’s called “Yakety Sax”, by the way, and it’s by Boots Randolph.
Yakety Sax? Don’t talk back!
No, that’s “Yakkety Yak”.
Is anyone else reminded of a Herm? Or am I showing my nerd side again?
http://depthome.brooklyn.cuny.edu/classics/dunkle/athnlife/roylstoa.htm
That’s downright (… or maybe upright) educational. “To activate protection, please turn to turned on totem.”
*clap* this fail is really not very funny
*masturbates*
*Chlamydia* this funny in not really fail
*is
This funny in not really fail!
My bad.. that was a lame attempt to mimic Sophie. Mimicry fail.
*hangs keyboard in shame*
*pats Lunchbox* It’s okay. We all have our fail days.
To be anal, Thats not a fail. 180 degree knob…
Ok, be anal :> *inserts rubber fist*
This is a weak “fail”, It was the knob that failed and an electrician replaced the broken knob with a switch. Switches are more reliable, electrician WIN! Some of these aren’t really fails, Study Spanish in Spain- with a pic of Egypt, that’s a fail!
That type of device is not safe outdoors without a cover. Electrician FAIL!
Electrician fail on this install then, this is clearly an outdoors install without an appropriate cover.
Hmm. This photo has been tweaked.
Still funny. And stupid. Haha.
Its to shock the kids out of the pool.
this is not a fail, looks like a knob to me!
Normally, the knob that is turned activates a timer that will shut off the jets after a certain amount of time (depending on how far you turn the knob). Maybe the switch is just a temporary replacement-you can get them at any home improvement shop, sometimes even at places like wal-mart- but the timer knob is probably harder to find, so they probably tossed that in there until the new timer comes