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Perhaps the door mat came with it.
#2
You should print this on a t-shirt.
I think it’s a Using-a-box-as-a-step-WIN. ^^ Wait…no, it isn’t, it’s as high as the door is :-/
would you also like a number two t-shirt?
GOOD LORD, WHAT KIND OF DOOR MAT IS THAT?
ROBOT ?!
yes, it’s programmed to attack anyone who approaches it. it’s already eaten three mailmen and a jehova’s witness.
And apparently it’s working on that box…. Or perhaps it’s using the box as bait?
Perhaps it is a package waiting for pickup. I’m not going to be your doormat anymore!”
thier IQ level is still higher than mine
I have come home to find the same thing!
Even with a doormat draped over the box, we still have no way of knowing wether or not the cat inside the box is alive or dead.
I get it.
And I appreciate it.
*golf clap*
*rings the bellwether*
fukinf betcjh
you rang … e il perdito pecorino castrato è venuto
I was just going to tell him he’s a worthless betcjh, but you win.
Quantum Theory conundrum WIN!!!
I don’t know why Schroedinger thought the mat would make a difference, really…
Schroedinger’s Cat unresolved win/fail
if Schrodinger cat dies in the woods and there’s no one there to see it, does it become an irradiated mutant?
second
i’ve won my life, i am second!!!!!!!!!!!!!
o rly?
Yeah.
Rly.
Ah the second commenting of christ!
“I told the priest don’t count on any second commenting”
“help me jeebers”
At least we didn’t have to suffer through the second cumming.
No, that’s a few posts back with the Whore children.
Jesus loves the little children
why??? little children are evil!!!
I thought that was with the Christmas Candles.
Suffer? You’re doing it wrong.
I am…? Or my partner is?
Good point. Perhaps further research is called for.
You have a good point! A good scholar needs empirical data.
How does one go about applying for a research grant in this field?
Hmmm. I think it’s mostly a matter of “state your research interests and the most desirable candidate gets the goods”!
Sounds like there would be stiff competition.
I can’t believe that I actually wrote that.
What hath this blog wrought my soul to be?
A hell of a lot of fun?
Verily!
Well I don’t know if that would be any fun at all then. As I don’t think hell would be that much fun.
As the Piano Man once said, sinners are much more fun.
As Benny Hill said, “Women are like pianos. When they are not upright, they’re grand.”
Yes. I know. Totally sexist.
So I’m guessing no one here is a Concrete Blonde fan, since no one got the song reference :’(
Thanks. Just, Thanks. Yet ANOTHER song stuck in my head. That’s two today, just from Failblog alone. Thanks. Oh, and, yes, I do like Concrete Blonde.
Hey, what’s it like in 1995?
I don’t remember… Ask Fuzz, he has the time machine. All I have left from 1995 is senility.
Nice one.
jeez
check out my music. or die
I choose Die.
Let the music die instead
I choose cake.
How about a Twinkie?
I don’t think ErickB is gay.
Maybe he has a severe case of Metrosexuality.
I am still chuckling over that, Loz. And, you are correct.
I’ll have the chicken then…!
Perhaps you’d care to try the fish? I hear it’s excellent today.
May I have some Freedom Bread with that?
I’m still thinking about that sandwich.
now i am happy
Tastes of human!
there you are, Loz! i have been looking for you ALL OVER the posts
Perhaps you should change your name to Lookimus Minimus, then… She’s rather prevalent on the posts, with her quick with and all. (I mean that in the best of ways, Loz. I can always count on you to make coffee shoot out my nose!)
I have a feeling his name should be Sarcasticus Maximus…
I hope the coffee’s not too hot!
You have quick with, Loz…lucky dog!
spellcheck fail… Would that make Loz an Irish Setter?
you making a bitch joke, withal?
*sets*
oops, that was me^
I’m not on my own computer.
AH HA!! they truth is out Loz is really Fluffy too!
Err nope, I was on someone else’s computer. Sorry to ruin your conspiracy!
Since I started taking my special pills I’m not entirely sure that I’m not every single one of you.
2 words for you … Plausible Deniability.
I’m deeply disturbed someone else is using my name, up there ^^^
oh.. it was Loz. Hmmmm…
holy shit … gives a whole new meaning to “Don’t imitate me — imitate your own self.”
(that was for spaz … and all us spazzes)
It’s just nice to have a forum for so many of my personalities to get to know each other.
imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
(or so they say)
fluffy, I was on my girlfriend’s laptop. Her screen name for failblog is also ‘fluffy’ but she’s never on here.
At least that is one ‘version’ of the ‘events’…
‘yep’ it is!
That’s her story and she’s sticking to it.
Hey, I saw fluffy here once. In fact, for the longest time I thought fishy-fluffy was Loz’s girlfriend.
Oh no, I have much better taste
(Only kiddin’, fluffy!)
so do I… and which Fluffy were you talking to?
You’re a lucky dog
you’re a lucky dog.
But the cake is a lie!
Portal WIN!
Let them eat cake.
Did you know Kirsten Dunst’s name anagrams to Dr. Sunkentits?
That makes me happy and I don’t know why.
We’re all out of cake, there were only three slices. We didn’t expect such a rush.
Ah, so it was YOU who wiped the internet!!!
You mean ‘and die’ right?
Stop posting irrelevant things and talk about the PICTURE itself. :@
So, I’m going out for dinner tonight to this lovely Italian restaurant with my girlfriend because it’s our 2 year anniversary. And then we’re going to this club where we’re meeting some other friends of ours but we won’t be staying out too late because I have work tomorrow morning. And then after work tomorrow….
No WAY! I’m going to a blues festival tonight, but I’m worried because I’m not entirely over this bug that I caught a couple of weeks ago (and dammit, my E key is not working properly and it’s really annoying me so I think I need to take my laptop back to the shop for repairs)…
Better than what I did last night, I went to work
Will the boy stand up again? Will the chair break? What time is it? Is this a rerun? How do you get to Carnegie Hall? And … what about Naomi?
Oh, dear. What a lot of things to do today. Ah, well. At least Top Gear’s on tomorrow. And Have I got news for you is on in a few hours.
*Hums theme tune*
Oh damn, I’m gonna miss it
Oh, I feel sorry for you. Anyway, enjoy your meal! Bon Appetit! Oh, damn, that’s French.
Dude, you have a job other than posting on failblog?
Dude, do you a comment other than something idiotic?
Dude…where’s my car?
Dude… sweet!
Dude!
Um, apparently I’m putting on a festival tonight? Crap, I’m totally unprepared…
What is there to talk about?
I do have a test today, that wasn’t bullsh**. It’s on European Socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they’re Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.
A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn’t deserve such a fine automobile.
This my large not automobile!
Do you think he also does not have a beautiful wife?
I think if he’s a Jon, he has a beautiful not wife
(and probably calls her a Sheila).
I’m in love with a Sheila.
And Jon seems a lovable m8 — I was just making a whack comment.
Same as it ever was…:)
Hey, look where my hand was!
(Her name isn’t actually Sheila, but she is from down under!)
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.
I admire working girls, err, women at work.
I hope you weren’t insinuating that my Sheila is a S.L.U.T.
“Err” is right. Fortunately I’m human, and forgive.
But not forgotten.
This is not my house.
Did you come home wasted last night, too?
Stop posting irrelevant packages of comments and making Soulcrun your doormat to put them under. :@
What could possibly be more relevant than what Loz is doing tomorrow evening?
Given that she’s got enough admirers here on failblog to have her own fan club, not much.
*sets self up as president of said fan club*
Hmmm, I wonder if I can start collecting dues…
*is flattered*
You’re a little too eager to be president though!
you’re not on failblog much… are you? because obviously the concept of rambling about totally unrelated things seems new to you.
Staged!
*masturbates on it*
Are you related to the Sausage?
He probably is.
*sigh*
They all are. Probably.
maybe it was too light and might blow away? I’ve seen couriers use rocks for such boxes…
Right, because we can’t have large, brown cardboard boxes going rouge on us and blowing around all nimbly-bimbly like a cat and threatening our safety. This sectioned rubber door mat is the only line of defense against dangerous, heavy-laden boxes taking out an eye or two.
Going red or whorish makeup on us? And blowing?! All nimbly-bimbly??! I might choose to lose that eye.
You mean, all nimbly-bimbly like a cat on a hot tin streetcar?
“I don’t mind making a fool of myself over you.”
haha, very nice
I’ve seen worse, like under my parents car….
The package only narrowly avoided being totally destroyed.
It’s a good thing your package wasn’t totally destroyed. That would have been tragic for your reproductive prospects.
I would think you would be more careful with your package. Though what you were doing under the car in the first place is anyone’s guess.
At least he got his package. UPS marked mine as “unavailable to give signature” despite the fact that the truck never showed up (and I was waiting at the front door of my building for four hours)! And that was the third attempt!! I suspect the driver never even tried to deliver the thing.
UPS, pronounced oops! my wife once ordered $100+ worth of anime and arranged for her mom to wait at our house for ups the day it was supposed to come in, a thursday. we come home to find a slip of paper on the door, mom was still there, it’s not like she could have missed the guy, we have 2 dogs which are better than any alarm system… so, the ups depot is a mile away from our house, we call them and ask if we can pick it up- well, it’s still on the truck, and the driver went home, so they say they’ll leave a note to the driver to leave it there and we’ll pick it up the next day. So next day after work, i go to the depot, only they don’t have the package, it’s still on the truck, but they still can’t get it. so they have saturday hours too, and i’m off saturday, they promise they’ll get it off the truck and i can pick it up then… well, saturday comes, the driver left it in some locked room that nobody on the weekend has a key for. so monday rolls around, by this time i’ve learned my lesson, rather than going there, i call, and this guy tells me he can’t find the package, call back tomorrow. i ask him if the package is lost, what good will waiting another day do? he says, and i’m not kidding here, “it’s not lost, i just can’t find it”
dramatic pause…
i ask him if he realised what he just said… i repeated it back to him slowly… at this point i was pretty fed up, i asked him what i had to do to report it lost so we could get reimbursed and order it again- he said i had to call the 800 # so i did, and got a very friendly customer service rep. she looked up the tracking # and said with a little confusion, “it’s not lost, it’s been received at (location). i explained it had been received, but they had since lost it. she says, “really…” and asks if i can hold for a minute… so about a minute later, i get a beep for another call, it’s the guy from earlier, saying very excitedly, “we found your package!” so i tell him i’ll be there in 5 minutes.
so the moral of the story is, fedex may roll their trucks off ledges once in a while, but at least they try.
Talk about the fu*king picture!!1! :@ :@
this one time at band camp i put a box under a mat
*snork!*
Clearly, this is the package they lost. Who would think to check under such a convincing camoflage?
U would.
I work for the U S Postal Service. We deliver 6 days a week. We are in every community, not just hubs. We’re easy to find and user friendly. Our prices are better and our service is better. Why would anyone ever use UPS (OOPS) or FEDEX (FEDUP)? If you haven’t used us in a while, come back and give us another try. We will exceed your expectations. I am so proud of this company. We work hard for our customers.
What can brown do for you?
Make you pretty paranoid.
Great. Thanks. I really needed ‘that’ song stuck in my head this early in the morning…
“In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie, …”
With their bombs and their gons.
Gons??? Are those the male version of the Mons? Short for Gonads? OOO, wait, I know, it’s an accented version of Goons!
I don’t know, ask Dolores!
I’d ask, but I’m to delirious.
I think Dolores uses her gons for faitehn according to the song. Must be some kind of Irish dance.
LOL. A dance of death, yes.
Cranberries WIN!
That’s what she moaned..
Strawberries win.
Or two plums and a banana…
A mighty tighty whitey and I’m smuggling plums.
Fruit salad win — I ain’t no chicken.
Fruit salad… yummy, yummy…
That’s actually easier to toss.
*offers an Eskimo kiss, spreads the blanket*
We must be strong and hold the Labour Party together…
Oh, sorry, wrong Brown.
Your shirt is rather brownish in color…
No wait, that’s the wrong brown too.
Not win the war at Serenity Valley, apparently.
Pretty funny. ‘place it under the mat.’
I wonder if the delivery person saw the key to the door under there..
So, Cicili, how are you dealing with your multiple personality disorder? Do you normally talk to yourself?
S/he is very cilly.
That was poor.
It wasn’t meant to be a joke. I was merely stating a fact.
Your facts Fail.
Come on, i think he’s funny. Maybe.
As the difference between “Lol” and “Loz” i guess.
Loz is funny, but he is a she. Gender fail.
*hugs shadow*
Or the difference between “he” and “she” I guess.
or “him” and “her,” depending on who’s accusative toward whom (and receiving a sexually objectifying preposition)
Him’s a girl!
j’accuse ma petite préposition sexuelle!
Comment défi vous, mademoiselle.
Je ne vous comprends pas…
I told you my French sucked!
Wait, SMALL? here:A Ceca Telemetries Opposite Jinx Lupus.
A Ceca Telemetries Jinxes Tip Populous.
I give up.
I was meant to be a fact, now I’m just a joke *emo*
Aww, muffin.
Don’t poke him, now…
Oh oh oh
Der Kommisar’s in town
Oh oh oh!
Chris De Burgh WIN!!
Chris de Burgh? *shudders*
*shudders with Loz*
All ist Zittern, Herr Kommissar?
All is mitten, cervix?
Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, Vercingetorix?
I can’t believe the gaul of you.
I guess you had to be there.
Don’t put it there! The recipient might never find it!
LOL!! Well said, Mike!
ha ha ha top 40 on failblog… oh this funny (massive commenting below)
A Beneficently High Vomit Summon Snows
A Beneficently Shimming Homos Nut Vows
oh this funny (massive commenting below)
wtf?!
♪ Every time you call my name,
I heat up like a burnin’ flame,
Burnin flame, full of desire –
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher ♪
.
♪ Abra-abra-cadabra,
I want to reach out and grab ya. ♪
Epoch Cent Fuzz Not
Connect Pet Fuzz Oh!
Epoch Content Fuzz.
oh this fuzzy (massive anagraming above)
SOI SOI SOI SOI
I, so. ios?
Four. The answer is four.
Actually, it’s 42.
Right, I forgot to carry the 3.
Why carry the three when you can just have FedEx Ground send it to you?
When alcohol is delivered, the instructions read “Do not deliver to an intoxicated person”. So, does brown have a breathalyzer?
Shh! Nobody can see me under here…
box visible under mat?? masturb8s
masturb8? Is that some kind of sick, twisted boy band? Like Jackson 5?
WIN.
I prefer Mas2Rbate
Please talk about the pictures and no just random thing. I for one love this picture
It would be really excruciating to read 400 comments about a box with a doormat on it, don’t you think? I’m a fan of no just random thing.
Ditto and me, too, and also yes indeed, for sure.
Exactly! Where is the humor in that? It’s not like you can order levity on the Internet and have it delivered to your front door.
lol … and as Wavy Gravy says, “If you don’t have a sense of humor about a situation, it’s just not funny.”
I see nothing wrong on this pfoto – it is just an entrance with a doormat. Failblog fail.
Thank you, Senor Wiener. Once again, you astound us with your astuteness, using that keen sense of observation you possess.
HEY LEAVE HIM ALONE!
The delivery was the DOORMAT1!11 They put it on the box so they’d be SURE TO SEE IT! (Or was it Colonel Mustard in the drawing room?)
Do you keep your keys in there?
FIRST!
If by FIRST, you mean, “First idiot to jump off the edge of the planet today, thereby falling for eternity into absolute nothingness”, then please, go right to the head of the line!
“Now where did I put that box?”
Maybe it grew…at first it was small enough to sit nicely under the mat, but then it ballooned to its present size.
Sure it says delivery signature required but I’ll just hide it here till they come home, no one will ever see it hidden like this…..
Hide what?
*!*
“Sir, there appears to be an odd box here.”
200 Comments and apparently NO ONE understands what happened in this picture. UPS drivers will put the doormat over packages so it’s less noticeable FROM THE STREET. Our driver has done it a number of times, and unless you know there’s a package coming, it just looks like the mat is bunched up.
Seriously, that’s why?? I’ve come home to find packages from UPS (or FedEx or whoever) under the doormat as in the picture, and I could never figure out why they did that. Thanks for the info.
Apparently YOU care enough to post a comment about the art of putting packages underneath doormats.
sense of humor fail
Perhaps the world will be beating a path to this door?
heh.. you said “beating”…
*waits for s.a.u.s.a.g.e. to masturbate*
Wow, it’s like you’ve never even bothered to read one of his posts.
And still totally superior to DHL.
There goes the neighborhood…
Who says they’re hiding the box? Maybe they just want a more obvious doormat…
…wait, did the owner of the house take the picture, or was it some random person that decided to walk up to someone’s front door (inconspicuously, of course) and take a photo of their deceptively disguised package???
I was looking for it for hours. Damn good spot.
Well, what’s odd is UPS did this with my package too. Maybe it is a package-theft-prevention fail? The world may never know.
Lol, delivery WIN! ^^
Dude, my brother’s delivery guy does that with his mail too! It’s ridiculous…my brother is a techie for hospital equipment, and the stuff he receives is crazy expensive.
They do that when your not home and they dont require signature. They did it to me once. i came home seen it and was imediately like WTF?
Happens to me all the time.
well this is my first post EVER so better not waste it
And now you have. Congratulations.