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Cheezburger Network Blog
hey thats like your mom (to whoever posts next)
i went to that school !
i graduated top of the class.
ON top of the class?
LMAO
you owned him
this is what we get for electing george w. bush
ill bet u did
I’m not surprised they came first!!
don’t your kids go to Park Elementary?
was that a declaration of FIRST??
no thats a declaration of being with your mom first
No, it was actually a joke with sexual connotations.
You’re a joke with sexual connotations.
Better than sex with jocular connotations.
Better than sex with explanatory annotations.
Better sex than masturbation
Better than abstinence-only sex education.
Abstinence-only sex education = sex and abstinence from education.
I would really like to know why they think abstinence-only sex education works.
Ask Ms Phailin’.
Speaking of, they’re showing her debate tonight instead of last night. *heats up the popcorn for later*
(Avis wont nest below this level)
Won’t stop me from trying.
Little birds always find a way to nest.
Spastic vs Racist – should be interesting
Matter of control. People often fail to admit their word can be disregarded by pretty much anyone.
Because it works 100% of the time *when used*. Sorta like condoms and pills.
But the key point there is it has to be used. And condoms are not
100% effective. Neither is the pill. Abstinence training doesn’t work,
because the trainees don’t use it.
I can state, absolutely and unequivocally, that the pill is NOT 100% effective. Srsly. Trust me on this one.
Does everyone here make these generalizations, or is it just 99% ofyou that make the rest look bad?
To repeat, and clarify: Abstinence works 100% of the time *when used*, which is better than contraception. No one said that its proponents were perfect.
Sorta like Karate?
We’re talking about a group of people who tend to maintain belief despite a total lack of evidence in support, and who consider that a desirable thing, and call it faith
Or sadistic flagellation on vacation.
Better than kinda wondering: “Why everyone is talking about sex when they could be having- Oh.”
if u make a clone of yourself and have sex with it while its asleep, is it rape or masturbation?
Making him one better than you. You may both be jokes, but at least he has some sexual connotations once in a while.
Unsatisfied wife fail.
next time gorgonzola….
Whores don’t come. They pretend.
And ask how much you got
and then call their pimp to deal with you if it’s not enough.
asdf, weirdo, Sexual Harrassment Panda; I’m sorry but the three of you have far too much information on this. Social life fail.
You speak from experience?
The sign doesn’t say anything about whores coming… just their kids.
It evokes the idea that the kids are of the whore persuasion. Therefore, it does say something about whores coming.
Well, we know where that school’s priorities lie.
….in bed?
I was thinking cafeteria table, but bed works, too.
… on the desk?
You can have it in a car, you can have it in a bar, you can have it with a goat, you can have it on a boat.
I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them, Sam I am.
You could have it in a box.
You could have it with a fox.
You could do it in a house.
You could do it with a mouse.
Sam can have it here and There
Sam would get it Anywhere.
So Dr. Seuss was talking about whores…
I hated that book growing up.
15 years later, it is still haunting me.
My name’s Samantha, too! And I completely agree with the sentiment. I still get the urge to punch people in the face when I hear the phrase, “Sam I Am”…
Ahh, kindergarten fond memories FAIL.
Ah! But one day, when you get kids of your own, you can haunt their little pliable minds with those magical words.
“Go to bed right NOW you heathen child or I will forced to read Green Eggs and Ham to you THREE TIMES!”
can also be in the first aid room…
With your dad?
Well, that was clever. *heavy sarcasm*
Great. I get called a child molester yesterday, then this is what gets serviced up as the first fail of the day? Screw you, FailBlog.
From you textual reaction, I’m guessing that FailBlog screwed you?
But it’s ok because he didn’t enjoy it… so he’s not really fail.
Then failblog failed somewhere.
Apparently failing is like a circle…
screwed by failblog?? damn thats low…
Irony’s a bitch, isn’t it.
If irony is a bitch then it must be a she.
I only point it out as you obviously went to extreme lenghts to punctuate your post properly.
I’d hate you to be under any misconceptions.
Actually, coming from the Latin standpoint, to be labeled as gender-neutral is an even greater insult. So being a bitch but genderless is a very subtle double whammy.
This is where such doozies as “Malum malum es!” (You are a genderless evil apple!) come from.
Allera, I love you
You guys are hitting all my buttons this week! Greek mythology, and now Latin!
Just another perk of associating with those who major in Completely Useless Information!
We live to please, when it is pleasing for us to live.
I completely agree with your first point. To objectify a person is certainly insulting, as is to brand them with certain animalistic qualities such as bitch.
.
The problem here is that the first part of the insult nulifies the second. If you are genderless then you cannot be a bitch or vice versa.
If the term “bitch” is defined not by its biological connotations, but by the cultural and linguistic adaptations that society has created, the insult will still work– although I admit it does lose some of its force.
And on a lighter note, I’ll bet ten FAILbucks that if somebody searched the pedigree lines in the greyhound Hall of Fame, they could totally come up with a bitch named Irony.
WRONG
Female dogs are known as bitches, hence defined by biological connotations.
Booya.
Okay, considering “bitch” as only a noun, I submit the evidence of the OED OED (Oxford English dictionary online);
2. a. Applied opprobriously to a woman; strictly, a lewd or sensual woman. Not now in decent use; but formerly common in literature. In mod. use, esp. a malicious or treacherous woman; of things: something outstandingly difficult or unpleasant.
b. Applied to a man (less opprobrious, and somewhat whimsical, having the modern sense of ‘dog’). Not now in decent use.
Read specifically the latter part of definition 2a, which clearly states that ‘bitch’ may be used in the gender neutral to apply to things.
Booya-kacha
although my favorite definition is 2c.;
c. A primitive form of lamp used in Alaska and Canada.
And let’s not even get started on the definitions of bitch as a verb, which, although unlikely, would still be grammatically correct in the original sentence and do not construe a notion of gender.
And then there is that other standard source for English usage,
Urbandictionary. Current #2 listing there for “bitch” reads:
I’m guessing Arrian just doesn’t have a girlfriend, so may he not be aware of his own bitch nature.
I am happy to lose this argument on the basis that Fuzz has managed to turn it into a derogatory comment about Arrian.
I wouldn’t have been nearly so verbose if he hadn’t told me I was WRONG. Game, Set, Match?
Set Match Run?
set a match on fire and run…? Hmm…
I think I like you.
How can I be a bitch AND not have a girlfriend?
Think man, THINK!
And anyway, search Arrian in urbandictionary and see if that’s also true, as obviously you are dependent on your source material.
One of two options:
Your mom has you whipped,
Or
Your man has you whipped.
Either way, it would have been better to have a girlfriend…
failure to note actual distinction made between nature as potential and nature as realized = actual FAIL to realize wtf I said, my bitch
.
(and as far as the n00b urbandicitonary definition, it would appear the only
part you’ve go right is the “appears weak” — don’t even think of getting theological with my ass, girlfriend)
Snuff that bitch out!
…I’m surprised this post seemed to make a whole argument. Then again, Without arguments, Failblog wouldn’t be half as funny.
*comforts*
It’s ok, I love you regardless, pob
I know I gave you the perfect set-up for the joke yesterday, I just really don’t like being called a child molester, even in jest, on account of who my biological parents were. I had my name completely legally changed to distance myself from my biological parents.
Oh
Sorry to hear that. I wouldn’t have made that joke if I’d known.
*cuddles*
I left another comment yesterday–which obviously got eaten because it never showed up–saying esentially while your comment stung, I knew you wouldn’t have known how that comment would have hurt me.
I would never intentionally hurt my pob.
That would be like strangling a little defenceless kitten.
I know. *hugs*
It also didn’t help that the joke came the morning after I had had a dream in which an unspecified woman I knew online flew out to met me, only to humiliate me once I started introducing her to my friends. I generally don’t put much stock in dreams; if not for the unfortunate timing I probably would have forgotten this one already.
*flies to Seattle*
all better.
*doesn’t humiliate*
There
I’m a doubter; I can’t see Loz flying out to met anybody.
If they had Es I would. I’d do anything for psychedelics.
Salvia’s legal you know… Even in the US.
Actually, even though my dream didn’t provide a lot of details, I got more of a sense that woman had flown in from the east coast, not overseas.
*phew*, so there is hope for our future yet!
When it comes to hope for our future, I’m very audacious.
Sorry, I didn’t realise your parents were paedophiles, please disregard my ditty below. I hadn’t scrolled down.
I can only assume that you are Autistic. To have so little regard for someone elses emotions and not be mentally disabled shows a purity of evil that makes me think that you probably do have some kind of link to Hitler.
That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, I love you too Beren. Though I’d appreciate it if you kept your lack of respect for the autistic (no caps necessary) to yourself as I find myself unable to contain my anger at your remarks. This is why I’m writing this paragraph. I could only compare you to Mussolini.
*puts on cap*
*backwards*
CAPS ARE UNNECESSARY
Ok
*takes cap off of soda bottle*
According to Fail Blog, caps are necessary to keep browsers from crashing.
*pouts*
It wouldn’t be so bad if the pages broke by the number of comments on the nested page. The pages are breaking by the number of comments on a time ordered page. This makes page 2 useless, and page 1 deceptive. Then there is the tedium of manually fixing the comment links in the recent comments area…
I can seperate the general from the personal; hell, I’ve made joking references to Pedo-bear myself.
Sorry POB, nothing personal, just an ill-timed an uninformed quip.
Charlie Chester the child molester,
Touches kiddies in their pants.
When he’s caught, he’s so distraught
And spends 5 years taking it up the bum.
FACT
Above comment rescinded with apologies
I’m more concerned about the schools who insist the non-whore children come first. at least here there seems to be some kind of choice involved.
4th
I’m concerned about what they actually meant to write…
“whEre children come first”? could it be… photoshop? (ouch, there, I said it :p )
Probably a teenager with a screwdriver and extra letters.
Perhaps they bought one of those two-piece scissor sets…
“where”
My first take was that it is Bubbabonics.
It’s actually supposed to be “Whore, children come first”.
Or maybe jjust llike (in the) whole children comes first. something like that. i don’t know
It’s all part of the “no child behind left” program.
… which was a successor to the “right behind the child” program.
Reeding, riding, and ‘rithmedick.
Isn’t that the Catholic parochial school’s curriculum?
Not quite the same thing, but this puts me in mind of the “four F’s” mnemonic for the major functions of the mid-brain’s hypothalamus — Feeding, Fleeing, Fighting, and Sexual Behavior.
The hypothalamus likes phorn.
“Now get your arse back to bed and earn them some food!”
Some joker just turned the M over…
From the comments posted, you’d think people couldn’t figure that out.
MHORE?
are you retarded?
it’s more likely that it was supposed to read ‘Where’
Sad when an education facility has the idiot windbag Principal attempt to spell ‘Where’. Let’s show why schools are FAILing.
I’m more willing to bet that principal will never have a student / janitor / pedoteacher / phy-ed teacher take care of the signage.
He means it was meant to be “Melcome back”.
Oh right. I stand corrected :s
Mel, come back.
I need help spelling.
Now that was just funny
Or maybe “cowe first”…
LMAO
LWAO
“Mhore children come first”? WTF is that?
Oh. My. God.
Please, please tell me you have no intention of breeding.
Well, not if the whore comes first.
Yeah, because with that attitude I really hope he isn’t getting laid without paying for it.
It’s supposed to be “Our children come first.”
what an anti first post! So, all normal children come 2nd, 3th? That’s why ppl dislike firstler’s so much?
3th?? Shouldn’t that be 3rd?
he has a lisp….
i had a sleep *_*
I lol’d so hard, I woke up the dog.
Are you kev tripstick?
So it said MHORE before?
hahaha…one of the better threads.
I want mhore!
Of course they come first. It’s the oldest profession.
OMGWTF
YARPOF
ACRONYM?
No, Loz was just calling Dallas a Poof.
YuckFou
Funk Off!
Mine actually was an acronym, but I’m not telling what it stands for
Ya’ll are Nucking Futs, but I like you anyway.
P.S. Is it ya’ll or y’all?
Neither.
(But if you really insist, it should be “y’all”)
Thanks! I just want all my grammatical fallacies to be correct!
Sadly, it isn’t grammatically acceptable to use the word “y’all.” It should be though! English is in dire need of second person plural.
I really miss using “you’s”
Grammar was simpler in primary school.
I get your point, Moi, but, technically, what English needs is a second person singular. “You” was originally a plural form, which came also to be used, like the French vous, as a polite form of address. “You” then eventually displaced “thou,” the singular second person pronoun, and came to be used for both singular and plural.
I don’t see anything wrong with using ‘you’ for singular and plural.
‘Y’all’ makes my skin crawl.
And Simnos, your grammatical fallacy should be spelled ‘yous’. A word far too frequently used in these parts.
I usually use it as a tongue-in-cheek remark.
Although, interestingly enough, my Latin Prof told us that y’all was a perfectly acceptable translation for the second personal plural in Latin–it helped the wee little Froshies not be as confused.
Sometimes I use it and think fondly of that class…
Froshies?!
A gender neutral and mildly derogatory way to refer to college freshmen.
The English language really needs a better way to express gender neutral concepts. Especially in the third person. I get so tired of using his/her in papers, but most styles wont let you use “their” as a genderless singular. Grr.
English is oversexed.
I am not familiar with this concept “oversexed”…
Freshmen here are referred to as ‘freshers’. Does that not make more sense than froshies? If I had to use the word froshy I think I might die a little inside.
I’d like to be.
Dead inside? :s
That was addressed to thepowerofblue, but could work for Loz too.
I never heard the term until I got to my very snooty college. If you don’t intend to be insulting, you just say “first-year,” but ‘”froshie” is just so humiliating it makes a good upperclassperson term.
And hey, the “little death” can be a lot of fun…
Hehe, true, maybe I should use the word more often
It just makes me think of the word frottage, though…
ROFL. Never thought of THAT!
It’d be a more interesting proposition if I hadn’t SEEN some of the firstyear class already. *shudder*
Oh, tell me about it. The first-years at my uni this year are… let’s just say it’s slim pickings.
There is a 3G rule at my college: all boys are either gay, girlfrieded or gross, leaning heavily into the last category–and the girls aren’t much better.
Fried in girls?! That IS gross!
I feel your pain, but thankfully I found someone who is
far from gross. (And funnily enough, doesn’t go to my uni.)
That person must be the luckiest person in the world.
Our best pickings are from the Catholic Boy’s college down the road.
And yeah, “girlfried” as in, uh, if they talk to you they get in hot water? yes/no/maybe?
Cut the crap, students. Whore comes first.
y’all is singular, true Southerners say “all y’all” for a group.
Y’all ain’t from the south iffin you’uns cain’t use y’all grammatically correctly!
Does Minnesota count as the South? ;P
Ooh yah, ya bet’cha!
Well you are south of the border.
Oooh, yah! I recognize dat accent, you betcha! I grew up in the land of beer and cheese, dontcha know?
C’est Moi: “Youse” was Middle English for second person plural and persists in lower-class English of the northeast US, e.g., “youse guys”.
Not just the north-east US. Still used everywhere in working-class Britain.
They love their double negatives, too. “I don’t know nuffink!”
*Puzzles*
….
*Googles*
….
*Puzzles*
Hmm
Your A Real Piece Of Fail?
Your Acronym Realises Perfection Of Fail?
Yellow Airoplanes Reach People On Fire?
It was harsher than that
YARPOF = You Arrogant Retarded Perverted Orphan F*cker?
Ok that beats mine by an order of magnitude.
Not THAT harsh. Haha.
That is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while Pob! It was the O-F part that got me for some reason.
You annally retentive piece of fail?
I like that one!
You Are Really Proof Of Fail?
Nah its “Fop Ray” backwards
its a device for zapping Fops.
Between this and your other comment, I think you are my new favourite person on here.
Alone in the great void, darqmann finds a friend.
And yet, somehow, could not understand when the two canceled each other out.
But are faking it.
Fake are but it.
*cries*
But, it fake are *cries* it but.
fake when you could see his butt.
When could you see his fake butt?
when the butt will have been from the future.
Did it take a picture of his face?
Indeed, lass, the bloke straightway gave it a go,
Mm! Ok…was it the beach or the mall first?
How long do you think it took until someone at the school noticed to change it?
the school will notice it in 3…2…1…
But not before a member of the board drives by!
I’m puzzled as to what it was meant to mean…
Where children come first, most likely. Some prankster probably got their hands on a letter and a screwdriver and thought it’d be fun to mess with.
Doesn’t take any tools. The letters are printed on flexible transparent plastic and ride in channels (the faintly-visible horizontal bars on the sign). If you ever see them changing prices at a gas station, it’s the same thing, just smaller.
(Hagrid, half to himself): “I prolly shun’t a said that.”
Ah. I always figured schools would have screwed down the plastic cover, but really, why would they?
Because of instances like the above picture. I know the students at MY schools would have done that, given half a chance. Hell, I probably would have done it had I been able to figure out how to get the key to the sign from my father.
Ooh, you deviant!
Must be why I like you.
Hagrid: “I *really* shunna said that.”
Time for Britney to enroll her kids!
“Whore Children Come First”
This must be the school that parents who dress their six year olds like skanks send their kids to.
A whore/where mistake is better than the there/their or your/you are mistakes that people make.
Trying something stupid with HTML – please ignore
Nope, no love.
*hugs*
Better?
Im confused as to what they really meant… whore children? Whole children? Little children? Yes! Your government/public school at work! Arent you proud your tax dollars are being wasted like this Americans?!
It’s just a simple typo while using those sign letters.
The O is upside down
… and backwards.
where children come first
Pedophelia win
failtacular
So this is the school where the children of whores are first to arrive, followed by the children of non-whores?
Typical. Always the preferential treatment goes to celebs, politicians and members of the Board of Education.
I suprised that they didn’t spell “come” correctly…
LoL
WHERE whore children come first.
there fixed it…..
Well, as long as they come right out and SAY that you have to sleep your way to the top, instead of pretending, y’know? Maybe they can get some brownie points for that…
HAHAHAHAHa thats funny s*&T
Does… does this mean i’m accepted?
what was this supposed to say??
last!
Does Van Halen has a song about that? Like, Hot For Teacher?
i work there!!
YES! Yessss… evil plan wurking!