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Lmao
For The Yes?
Are we guessing what “FTW” means?
… How about “Fifty Turtles Yelping”?
Atleast i was faster then you fipo’ing so you are the turtle here. And be glad it wasn’t some nitwit with ”first”
Fipo’ing?
What is this fipo’ing?
FIRST!
Forty Ton Yak?
Or ‘yank’?
Oh, come on, Americans aren’t that fat.
It’s Thirty-nine-and-a-half Ton Yank!
And that’s just my genitalia…
*yanks*
yanks?
*fails*
Wanks?
*wanks*
My dick is 3 inches
.
.
.
from the floor
Wouldn’t it be FTY then?
Would someone please show this man the point.
*points alukah to the point*
Thanks Loz.
Or the door…
way to fail…fifty turtles yelping would be FTY, not FTW.
Computer says no.
No but yeah but no but yeah, so shaddap!
Little Britain quote win?
Speaking of, have they started that US version I heard little about?
Computer says yes.
First episode aired September 28th in the US, according to Wikipedia. It also says it aired on BBC One on October 3rd.
No, but they got the bible version…
Thou shalt not yaye, nor shalt thou nay.
I don’t like it.
Someone should really check their emails before they send them.
Much like some people who post here……
Yes, it’s like leaving a “FIRST!” comment
everyone thinks you’re an idiot
Really? I was under the impression that all “First” posters were 1337 and everybody loved them
Yea man…. 1337 haxors pwn noobs.
Wow! She’s a bright one.
first cause first guy didnt say first
go away please. ”FIRST!!!111” comments suck. Although ”lmao” is, in the eyes of many, not much better, it is what i did. So i posted that.
Its like saying “Is whats happening in Guantanamo better than what happened in Hiroshima?”
That may be a little exaggerated though.
No, no, you’re right. They’re exactly the same….
Um, no. Just, no.
You didn’t see neon’s winky face there.
:blush: actually missed it
Yes, it is better. What is happening at Guantanamo is not affecting the entire earth’s atmosphere as a result of a bomb that killed thousands.
Yes, and we all died.
140,000 died in Hiroshima.
.
In my opinion, “LMAO” is far better a response than “First”.
The “conventional” firebombing raids were just as devastating. Over 100,000 perished in the Tokyo firebombing. Waterways boiled.
What is happening at Guantanamo is affecting the entire earth’s atmosphere, and we’re all the worse for it.
Yes, all the hot air from the terrorists and their lawyers is making global warming real for the first time in history.
Yes, too bad it’s not cool to violate the Geneva Convention, abrogate habeas corpus, and torture people.
“first to say first”? Don’t know if that counts…
It doesn’t, all it means is they they’ll be living in their mothers basement for another 10 years
Hey, the first human to get syphilis was “important” too
But is he as important as the person who said “first to say I got syphilis first!”?
Really, the “first” things suck. and are as much fail as the rest of this site.
It’s not like calling “shotgun”… you don’t get to claim it if the person before you fails to.
You sure can! On the Internet, there’s nothing to stop you from proving to the rest of the world how far below retarded you are.
That is, until the site admins set up “first” to be in their filter lists for naughty language or spam. Or start IP banning people for saying it.
Maybe Marie just has it in for John, and wants a disgruntled customer to come and make a, ah, “forceful complaint.”
Never piss off your P.A.
Good point…but I would have liked to see Marie be a little more creative there. 4.3/5
(Who wants to be the French judge?)
Can I be the French Maid?
I’ll be the French mistake.
Can I have some french bread?
Not if you call it ‘french bread’.
French bread = white bread
What do you want him to call it, “Freedom Bread”?
Can I have some freedom bread? Or maybe just some croutons?
How about “baguette”?
That ones never failed me
I prefer Freedom Bread. Baguettes are too crusty.
My point was that the French hardly ever make pan bread as we know it. Baguettes are pretty much their staple diet.
I think ti is a little too late to make your point. Oh, and by French Bread, I actually did mean a Baguette.
I assumed you did. I was just being silly
Well thats in the bag then. can i have some french toast?
click my name to see some French bread
Mmmm, that’s some goooood bread.
*faints*
Someone get this man some Sauvignon Blanc, NOW!
Alcohol for someone in his condition?!?!?!
He could be in shock!
Death Cab for Cutie quote? I think I’m in love…
*Finally gets joke*
“This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her but you don’t.”
i just friend requested you.
HA! got there before u.
I’m a bit scared to have failblog people on myspace. I had an incident with an online stalker once.
Yeah, that would be me…
ZOMG random myspace friends. My cool rating just sky-rocketed!!1!
And with that comment, just plummetted.
Teehee, it was fun though
Oh and Dabamash… you get a cookie for mentioning Matt Bellamy, Bush, Gandhi and Einaudi in one sentence.
Why thank you. I believe it would be quite a party.
That I would have to see!
Consider yourself invited.
Due Tramonti is one of mine and my girlfriend’s songs. Absolutely beautiful.
I play a lot of Einaudis songs on the piano. I love em.
“This profile is set to private. This user must add you as a friend to see his/her profile.”
Why can’t we be friends…
Oooh! My screen name changed into a link! That didn’t work the last time I tried it.
We’re all putting our myspaces up now?
*Jumps on bandwagon*
My myspace is hardly difficult to find…
Yours is almost more interesting than pob’s! Well done!
I live on Facebook, so I have an excuse
I made an account years ago to see what all the palarva was all about, I got bored after about 5 miniutes.
That and none of my friends use myspace
My problem is that all of my friends are scattered among facebook, bebo and myspace. So I have one of each to keep up with various old friends. Although I rarely actually use them.
I never really put much effort into Myspace, as i only go on it about once a month
But it does have the legendary ghandi, bush, bellamy and Einaudi sentence.
Hey, I just made mine! I promise I’ll put more stuff up on it after I get back from work this evening!
And change your pic
Also I have Tetris on Facebook, that makes it better than myspace by default
Wrong, I have added some random games from teh interwebs on mine. WIN!
Because you are a regular of Failblog, automatically making you a possible: paedophile, stalker, murderer, retard or AIDS carrier.
Judging by your Myspace display pic, you are probably the majority of those…
No, just a dork.
We have established that he is neither a paedophile nor a retard. The others… I can’t say for sure
You can’t hear the pounding heart below the floor boards? It’s deafening!
But we’re already friends
And did you really just make a myspace profile for that purpose? Hehe.
Kind of yes?
I’d been meaning to do it for a while now, just never got around to it before.
And I wasn’t expecting half of failblog to friend request you at the same time.
Updated, btw. And now I remember why I put off creating a facebook or myspace profile…I hate pictures of myself. Ok, maybe “hate” is a strong word, but I’m always dissatisfied.
Oh, and I hate filling out forms.
Piss on you! I work for Mel Brooks!
Pure gold.
I agree. It’s a lovely fail.
Doh!
It’s a good thing Mr Bell didn’t request the bank account or sth
He should write back indicating he knows the name. “ha! I got to your colleagues first! his name is John *********”
And really.. my valid reason would be i want his staff to all receive raises.
You know, this is strangely relevant. I called up Target the other day to get the name of the store manager, work-related so that we could send him an invitation to a City event.
They would only let me have his first name. What am I gonna do? Track him down and feed it to him if they give me a last name? Company logic FAIL. If someone has the intent, they’ll do what they plan to do, regardless of whether or not you give out a name through a store.
Initiative fail. Just walk in the store. Every big box store has names and pictures of all their managers at their customer service desk.
true enough
Um, you know that Marriott is a hotel chain and not a retail store, right?
he was refering to moo’s comment where he went to Target….which is a retail store
How can one file a complaint, or a complement, for that matter, if there is no one in which to to file?
corporate email…no names..extremely impersonal, that is where you send things
“That’s IT, Marie, I’m taking back your ‘best secretary ever’ mug!”
“I’m a PA DAMMIT!” *throws mug at John’s head*
If you think about it, I think it’s pretty clear that this is what happened next.
Did it involve an axe, digging a hole in the forest and bleaching the back of the car?
Ok for us non brits here .. um what does P.A. stand for?
Personal Assistant.
They do exist in the UK you know…
And in the US…
hmm ahhh a secretary
PA = public attorney
More than just a secretary though. They do anything
Bow chika wow wow!
Caboose – Bum chikka chikka bum bum.
Tucker – D**n it Caboose. What did I tell you about that?
Caboose – Sorry.
Red vs Blue reference WIN!
or PA = Production Assistant
I know! The number of words in the English language that begin with a “P” or an “A” is just astounding for me, too…
Public Accountant (though, they’re usuall certified), private access, plausable appreciation, plumber’s apprentice, probationatory allocation…
penile apathy
I’d rather be a Turf Accountant.
Or, PA = Physician’s Assistant.
Read fail
Another classic from my home town.
It’s quite typical really, native Bristolians aren’t known for being quick witted.
*agrees*
It’s true. But then I can’t think of any area where people are stereotypically clever. It’s so much more fun to mock our neighbours than celebrate them!
What about Oxford or Cambridge?
That’s what I was about to say
Great minds think alike, or so they say.
…fools seldom differ
It’s a good thing I disagree then.
What about Lake Woebegone (at least, all the children)?
they do come first… as long as they’re whores, that is.
^ comment is not all above average
Let me make short work of a long tail. Many people believe that most distributions are normal. All the children of Lake Woebegone couldn’t be above average, but nearly all of them could be.
i.e. “Nearly everyone has an above-average number of legs.”
I think that would actually depend on the population set and variable of measure — it is conceivable that all Lake Woebegone children tested actually scored above 100 on a Wechsler’s Intelligence Scale for Children, as normed on the general U.S. population, particularly if they have not been unduly influenced by Bush administration education policies, and all their mothers are strong, and their fathers good looking.
I’m beginning to think that the town of Lake Woebegone is next to the town Perfect.
Can I borrow that TMI hat for a sec?
People tend to describe themselves as better-than-average when it comes to certain skills or traits. We meet many people with no sense of humor, but you will hardly ever meet someone who will admit they are humorless.
This tendency is called the “Lake Wobegon Effect” because “all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”
I am above average in kidney-count, but I am decidedly sub-par when it comes to math smarts. Man…I’d trade TWO kidneys for a better math brain.
How many kidneys do you have, exactly?
Four.
No shit. I have four kidneys.
Whoa!!!! Is that from your twin?
oh, and are they all functioning? and did you know you could probably make a boat-load of money selling a couple?
Yup and yup. And unfortunately, I cannot donate because
they are fused together on both sides. *sigh*
Still… very cool…
I’m a mutant!
Hee…that would be my superpower. I would be…RENAL WOMAN!!!
Would you get pissed off much?
Garrison Keillor FTW!!!
All the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Darn.
This Post is a BIG FAIL.
P.A. means Personal Assistent to the general manager…. Failpost….
You know Alukah right?
Possibly friends with Arrian too?
LOL.
*bows*
*arrows*
*Scimitars*
*and slings of outrageous fortune*
Haha awesome i walk by that place every day.
Looking at the surnames of both Marie and John here, I’m wondering if we’re related.
Are you of English descent?
oh, H###### yes, but I suppose it is a failry common name in Bristol…..
pure weirdness – i’m north american, but i stayed at this hotel 4 days ago. very pretty, marble and old oil paintings everywhere. funny that it should turn up on failblog less than a week after i was there for one night… how random!
WTF are you on about?
Ummm scroll up a ways – do you see the picture there? Normally we at least start off talking about that.
What is it with this place and attracting retards today?
Picture? WTF? talking? RETARDS???
WTF am I talking about??!!? MEAHEAHHGHHGHH!!! *jumps out of window*
Yes, picture. The thing with “FAIL” written all over it.
Excuse ME, can you not see that I have just jumped out a window? I am in no position to look at pictures.
It was only a one floor drop. Why don’t you try climbing back in the window?
He can’t. He was on the 1st floor balcony above the train tracks, just as the 12:00 Express was coming by.
Brilliant haha – you cant fool me. I will say that is an interesting signature block. Why not take it step further and say PA to general manager xxx daughter of xxx sister of xxxx who happens to be a Libra.
?? what
I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.
…so what does that make you to me?
In Soviet Russia, your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate is YOU!
hihihi.
That was constructive of you, if you could just go and join the end of that line with the sign saying “Retards” over it…
(then again…like I can talk.)
*pushes Dabamash out the window again*
Ha!
NOOOOOOooooooooo……
Just you try to get that name, mister!
“Don’t tell them your name, Pike!”
I just wonder why she won’t give out the name in the first place.
It’s weird that she wouldn’t. But that’s what makes this fail all the more beautiful.
The only thing I could think of was that the original request for the name in some way made her think that giving it out would cause a problem.
You can kinda see that in the email. Not only does she refuse to give it out, she also instructed everyone else to keep it secret. But why does a hotel manager need his PA to protect him like the secret service?
Have you stayed there recently?
I would assume she wouldn’t give it out because Mr. Bell here was being a complete and utter douchetard to her and the staff there via email. The phrase “the customer is always right” was most likely used somewhere in the email chain.
Of course, the fact that she’s a moron may indicate that she wasn’t perfect in this exchange either. I’d love to read the emails in their entirety to find out just who was the true fail here.
How would you like to be this woman though? Suppose this guy actually wants the G.M.’s name so he can track him down and kill him and eat his liver. So this secretary has to say, “Nope won’t give you the name. Sincerely, Marie Comerapemethenkillmeandeatmyliver-Smith
If that was the case, she shouldn’t have answered the email, and turned it straight to the police. She has no problem revealing her own identity, tho.
Well, is he going to at least be civilized and have some fava beans and a nice chianti?
hahahah Whoever wrote this email should be contacted by the McCain Campaign as a possible VP candidate.
Aaarbl! Aaarbl! Aaarbl!
….tacos are delicious, yes?
Hey! That’s right round the corner from where I live.
Testing… testing… doesn’t Failblog love me anymore?
Dang, finally! My comments were rejected all day long!
Hi, Sara. If by chance you were posting on pages that already had 200 or so comments, they will be visible to you now only if you choose the “Show all” button (located underneath the name of the fail towards the top of the page).
.
*shows off*
None of my comments showed up, whether there were 18, 100, or over 200 when I posted.
I thought someone banned me!!! *cries*
haha i used to live in bristol and know the very hotel this is about!
Hilarious. Typical Brit Twit.
Is Mr. General Manager having an idenity crisis?
Hang on
Surely the main question is: What it it that Mr Bell did that caused the hotel staff to try to conceal the name of their manager from him? Like, what sort off asshole do you have to be to make people even scared to tell you their name?
perhaps this could be a hint:
http://www.epinions.com/content_116778307204
Umm… EPIC FAIL for al of you. The email is requesting the name of the GM. She isn’t saying she’s the GM, she’s saying that she won’t give out his name. It’s a good thing you all pay attention.
Oh god… I’m epic fail.
Why yes, yes you are. I’m glad you took the time to notice your mistake.
Aww bless the royal staff, maybe I won’t get as frustrated when I speak to them next (semi weekly occourance). We’re a lot nicer at my hotel, you want the GM’s name have it and his email.
Aww no thats the hotel from my city
Used to work in that actual marriot on college green!
Woop Woop!
Pink Shirt and a waistcoat….lush
Over Thanksgiving, I was at a Mariott in Chicago. The morning we left, I needed to pick up breakfast from a friend’s room, but I forgot his room number.
“I’m sorry, I can’t give you that information,” the front desk lady told me, “But I can try calling his room for you.”
“Sure, thanks.”
There’s a note on the room phones that says: Dial 7 before the room number for floors 1-9, and dial the room number for floors 10 and above.”
She dials 7257. It rings, and i get the voice mail.
“You’ve reached mailbox number 72 57…”
“Thanks,” I told the lady, and returned her the phone.
hey did nebody notice that sum of the FAILS r like duplicated 10 or 20 pages down the line?
WOW!
epic fail
I live just by this marriot
neggs
negative eggs!!!
LOL I did an internship there ^^