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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST! it is the good news!
No its not.
You’re bad news.
fotoshoped.
It in deed is good news, because now we get to beat one you for leaving stupid comments NOW THAT’S GOOD NEWS!
*on*
stupid comment fail
DUDE! You won’t look like a (pl)ucking douchebag if you could just yell “FIRST!” in any foreign language, alright?!
(If I submit a cussword, my post won’t go through on Failblog’s messageboard.)
Try “Ichiban!” or “Primero!” or whatever says “First!” in foreign language.
“Ichiban!” or “Primero!” or “First!” in any language … = 0
I had a bad case of ichiban once, but the doctor gave me some medicine.
From my very limited knowledge of Japanese, “Ichi” means one, and “Ban” means something along the lines of “Final”, so does Ichiban mean something like one final?
I’m so happy…
… that satanism is REAL!
Satinism!
As a religion, that would probably make more sense than most major religions.
Worshipping a fabric, it’s the future!
I used to be a satinist, but i converted to cottonism … it breathes better.
As did I. I used to be a velvetist, but saw the light during a nap.
I’m all about Cashmere Tantra. तन्त्र
(The etymology of “tantra,” by the way, includes associations with “weaving, texture, loom, fabric” — in other words, Cashmere Tantra is REAL.)
And luxurious…
Backing-up-funny-comment-with-proper-facts-to-point-out-pun–WIN
good laud
…I love you.
Cottonism is the way forward. All these new ‘Polyesterists’ are just so fake.
Cotton is, after all, the fabric of our lives.
If you live in the Southern States, yeah.
Dixie = the North’s suburb.
now you’re just whistlin’ out your Yankee ass
Whistlin’ Dixie, i bet.
no, dear, not quite
You’re right. I will secede my above comment from the union of our conversation if you would be so kind as to Grant to me the privilege of not being Stonewall’d.
Wow! Generalization fail.
Win, actually.
Neon tells the truth from EXPERIENCE, not European Jealousy
Europeans know so little about the US, it’s actually pretty hilarious when they say the civil war was between black people and white people (All the German Exchange students in my 9th grade year said that.)
no need to file us all in the stereotype, some, rather, a few Americans are well cultured and embrace the ideal of wolrd citizenship. True enough that many if not most are truly ignorant, but not all.
I appreciate the compliment (if that was one?). Thankfully there are a select few Americans who don’t fall into that category. If only one of them would run for president…
Sorry…I can’t. I wasn’t born in this country.
:p
Only the insane would want to be the President.
Hi neon
Just to point out, the Satanism article is from the South of Johannesburg, a rather large city in a country called SOUTH AFRICA. If you’re having trouble finding that one of the map, I’ll help you out, its right on the southern (thats the bottom) bit of Africa (that the big pice of land in the middle of most global maps. So, as you can see, the article had nothing to do with America at all.
I just hate what arrognat things you Americans are, not everthing is about you…..
← just to point ↓ out, ↑ you misspelled arrow gnat →
Nobody said that the paper was from the US. Loz mentioned that cotton was or is, I’m not sure, a very important crop in the South. Reding the comments before posting, FAIL.
It’s been nice to see the Spandex Cult numbers shrinking over the last 20 years.
And the Spandau Ballet fan club numbers…
The only thing that is fake is this fail.
Pitifully so.
HAIL SATIN!!!
i am a silkist myself, alwats have been. my parents were burlapists….*shudders*
I myself am Denimologist, I believe that a huge Denim Spaceship will come down and take us away. Although people say its a huge scam to take peoples money away from them, which it is.
I read about that in the book of Levi’s, chapter 5 verse 01.
Nostalgic win.
Better than being bull rapists.
ITS almOst as BaD as DOuChebagS who GRade othEr peoPla’s GrAmmer and MecHaNics On FAilBloG!
comment placement fail:(
What I want to know is….where is “fake pob”? Come on, lurkers, somebody get on this!
I wonder why this person admires me enough to try to emulate me.
What have I done to deserve such adulation?!
*produces list of m’lady’s admirable qualities*
This may take a while. You may want get a beverage, find a comfortable seat…
I have a cup of tea and a mango smoothie. And a right mind to change my name to ‘fake pob’.
Flattery will get you everywhere, m’lady.
Would ‘everywhere’ include a private room? I’m running out of curtains here >.>
Would ‘everywhere’ include a private room? I’m running out of curtains here o.o
She gets those from Dad.
Adumulation.
IT’S*
peoPle’s*
GrAmmar*
i guess that would make it a fail minus.
… or some kind of Polyesterism.
*high-five*
O rly?AWESUME WeWeWEeeeeee
Also, HAIL SATAN
Worshipping a fabric? That would certainly give new meaning to the phrase “man of the cloth”!
I was actually hoping no one would make that joke…..
lol
POB, bringing the cheese.
and the chez.
And a chaise.
Fabric religions can cause some chafing.
Cheesy ones can inspire some chefing.
What exactly is the Shroud of Turin made of again?
A friend of mine is a Satanist. And they are really gentle people. But due to some nutcases who call themselves Satanists and due to the Christian Crusade, everybody thinks they worship the devil.
Christianity is Real, would be a good news fail
LOL
Roffle
lol amen
Fortunately a good deal of it is about as real as Pam Anderson’s… well…. everything probably.
Yeah, those Satanists who worship the devil are almost as annoying as those Christians who believe in god…
Most organized religion (or non-organized for that matter) is annoying.
Say brother, have you heard the good news about ceiling cat?
Not today, thanks. *closes door in Ryan’s face*
Excuse me ma’am, can I tell you about the special joy that basement cat brings into your life?
Oh, go on then. Since you asked so nicely
Come on in, I’ll make a pot of tea.
Ahahaha you fool. Now you have let the cat into your house it
will not leave. It will climb the curtains of your body and demand
the milk of your soul!
The cat came back the very next day…
/me loves that song
By the way, most Satanists actually do NOT worship Satan, if we’re talking about the LaVey sect. Belief in the existence of God or Satan is irrelevant. If you’d read the Satanic Bible, you’d see that the major principles put down there apply to most people nowadays. It teaches that the most important person is yourself, you should love and protect those who are important to you and that animals and kids are to be protected.
Doesn’t sound bad to me…
the problem is in the name though, cristians here satanism and assume it has to do with the person satan not the original meaning of the word (bible vesrion) being one who thinks them selves above God.
No, Satan is Hebrew for ‘accuser’. It originated in the Abrahamic faiths to refer to an angel of God.
And Lucifer means “light-bringer” or something to that effect. And (according to the bible) was an angel.
No, I haven’t yet read all the comments. If this is a repeat, my apologies.
No, Lucifer is not in the bible. Not the original one. Only the King James version has the name “Lucifer,” changing what was a passage to a babylonian king to a fallen angel. The babylonian king was named after the planet “Venus,” which was believed to be the “Heralder of the sun.”
Lucifer is latin. Why would latin be in a hebrew/greek bible?
http://www.lds-mormon.com/lucifer.shtml
A small referrence, and I’m not mormon. It just covers in full what I have researched, overall. If you don’t find it creditable, I’d suggest researching it in full on your own.. actually I suggest that, anyways. And Thiefree is right. “HaSatan(The accuser)” is more so the angel in opposition of God.
This was not ment to be offensive, but rather informative.
No, satan is santa for the hard of spelling. He was invented by Coca-Cola to distract from their worldwide evil doings.
Heheh .. I actually was given a book about the evils of Santa, when I was a child. And I remember they sued the same point to argue their side satan = anagram Santa.
and his favorite color is red…
“And what’s in that pipe that he’s smoking”
Santa only became red and white after Coca Cola dressed hm in Coke colors. Before Coca Cola shipped him to troops during WWII, he didn’t have a specific color.
If you sue a point, do you get a line?
i learned about the anagram from the Churchlady
Well isn’t that special?
Yes it means accuser. It also means opponent. Satanists oppose to the hypocrisy of the church. They don’t carry hatred towards all christians, though that’s often thought.
My satanist friend I was telling about actually has a christian friend. I find it very amusing.
Also, it originates as “shaitan” which is Arabic for enemy.
The name isnèt a problem. It keeps the slower people you would not want to associate with at a distance.
Then call yourself an Atheist. At least the name would reflect the belief.
lets face it though, most, not all but most, satanist are also attention whores, so the negitive conotation that comes with being a satanist is just icing on the cake.
Fine, but then don’t complain that people are misunderstanding your faith.
not mine, i am an Atheist. i just have studied thology.
Sorry, I didn’t mean you personally.
Theology Studies Fail
hmm, true…never quite thought about it like that..
Where do you get ‘most satanists are attention whores’ from? You know them all personally?
Generalisation uber-fail.
I know quite a few actually, you would be surprised what you can learn if you just talk to people. it is no worse then the athiest that have athiest talk radio. they want to be recognized for what they are.
That doesn’t change the fact that you made a ridiculous generalisation.
And what’s wrong with having an atheist talk radio or wanting to be recognised for what you are?
i didn’t say there was anything wrong with it, but what is the difference between pushing no faith and pushing faith. the athiests tlak show makes no sence to me, people gather together to tell people that have faith that theyare wrong for it. i know it is no worse then a cristian saying they are wrong for thier lack of faith, or yelling at the jewish faith for not acknowleging christ. the whole point is that we all want to be recognized and not outcast for it
If that is what ‘atheist talk shows’ do, then I agree that is pointless.
We don’t have such things here so I assumed it was more of a general atheist debate, not a conversion attempt.
Human religiousness (and anti-religiousness) get way off track in a hurry when it is presumed that religion is primarily about metaphysical “beliefs.”
.
“Religion” means “reconnection.” And healthy connection with life’s wonder and beauty is a matter of practices and experiences. The poetics of expressing those more-fundamental-than-words experiences easily run into all kinds of misunderstanding and bigoted dogma when those expressions are taken as literal, rather than an art form.
.
Healthy religion is a form of humble honesty. Dogma is a form of arrogant closed-mindedness.
I’m sorry, I ran over your dogma with my karma.
Damn, you beat me to it!
LOL!
i love you, marry me!
Um, abstract…
*fills mud pit*
*pops popcorn*
^^ I thought you two were at the races.
Ah… Nothing like a day spent watching the bloodbath. Dragon, I’ll share some of these excellent alcoholic drinks (every kind) that I brought, if you’ll share that popcorn.
Pinot?
Oh, abstract, honey. I’ve already had a fake dilettante today, fuzzy doesn’t need a groupie. I’m gonna get dirty wrestling him anyway.
somebody’s clearly gonna need a bath –
::lights the candles, works up a lather … and pulls the curtains::*
___
*(y’all heard the woman … no groupies in the bath)
*Returns a buddy’s favor and makes tracks out the door*
*looks up from bathwater* by the way, whoever evil dilettante was was pretty cool today. I liked that a lot. *back to business*
Religion is the smile on a dog.
^ some kind of New Bohemian spiritual understanding
*rhapsodizes*
in blue…
Thank you, Fuzz.
Dogma is simple opinion. One is not hurting anything by critizing. In fact, itès good, as theyère taking an interest in the world and the growth of civilization. The problem comes when religion becomes law, or a reason to hurt someone.
First: Maybe you should have studied the uses of the English language instead of studying “thology”.
Second: Are “attention whores” those people who raise their hand when they pray as if to say “Oh look at me god. I’m over here”?
Third: Christian talk shows are the very height of balanced open mindedness. No down grading anyone there. Just to be safe I’ll tell you that was sarcasm.
the athiests tlak show makes no sence.
What would someone talk about on an atheist radio show?
“Gee, I sure am glad that there is no God to speak of. How’s the garden, Phil?”
Is that as in “athy, athier, athiest”?
nope … since you misspelled it … atheist comes from a- + theos
They just want to come first.
gentlemen allways let a lady come first…
. . . in bed.
Apparently I’m not dating a gentlemen.
Bummer.
It’s ok, nobody would know where to find a gentlemen.
In the same place you would find a women, don’t you think?
The bathroom?!
Not on failblog?
Pointing-out-creepy-innuendo–WIN
So, your position is that no generalizations can be made at all (since no one can realistically know all members a group)?
Isn’t that assertion rather… general? And hence you FAIL yourself?
No. Sorry. Better luck next time
Most generalizations are general.
Generally speaking this is generally true.
Can you provide specific examples?
“Don’t imitate me — imitate your own self.”
“Don’t imitate me — imitate your own self.”
Generally speaking this sounds like a conversation on Stereotyping satanists and if your going to do that then watch out for the cottonists…bastards breathing all our air like it was made for them. You want to talk about attention whore look at cottonists, they have commercials, mascots and factories dedicated to their ways of life.
Sounds like Fundamentalist Christians.
Wait, fundamentalists have mascots? and factories?!
Yes, they just don’t want you to know about them yet. Not until their world domination plan is completed.
Juses is their mascot.
Fundamentalists…they’re not much fun, but they sure are mental!
but that new show “the mentalist” is not fun at all
I new that you were going to say that.
“…sterotyping satanists and if your going to do that then…
you’re = you are
your does not
Oh but it does reflect the belief – if only you are a person who is aware of the meanings behind meanings. But the book, The Satanic Bible, explains it all to a satisfying degree. Though it does not make clear the argument of purity VS carnality. Which is to say, ask a Muslim or Christian who holds their scriptures in their hearts, say a fundie or close, and youèll see that their idea of purity, being close to God, the truth is direct opposition to human nature. Human nature being the road to Iblis, or Satan and hell.
“most Satanists actually do NOT worship Satan” and sadly ..
most Christians actually do NOT worship Christ. They just want a free ticket out of hell, so they make an appearance once a week. Most …well, many Christians hear such a weak, twisted, watered-down Gospel that God’s word has no power in their lives; living just like the rest of the world. If God is real, and God dwells inside you, as Christians believe, DANG IT, YOU’RE GONNA BE CHANGED !!
I thought LaVey wrote that infernal text which said, “Do as thou will, shall be the entirety of the Law”. Do whatever the BLEEP you want, no rules, no consequences ………..for NOW. Don’t think one bit about the day of reckoning.
If there is a good God, He would want us to be good and avoid evil /sin.
I want to be good. But I just can’t stop touching myself.
soooooo….be good at touching yourself?
SoapBox, anyone?
The difference is that christians are actually SUPPOSED to believe in the Trinity. and all the rest.
By the way, it was Aleister Crowley who said “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law,” not LaVey, though the latter was greatly influenced by Crowley. Satanists also believe that this life is the only one we have, i.e. no afterlife, so we should live it to the fullest.
There are also the 11 Satanic Commandments:
1. Do not give opinion or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
Simple enough.
Could you remind me which is the mating signal – I always forget.
“Hello.”
It involves bending and tables, I believe.
What’s your sign?
My sign is:
“Keep back from the platform edge (or you may get sucked off)”
Well, I can tell you that ‘Get OFF me, you FREAK!!!’ means ‘no’…
Bitter personal experience?
Nope, I am able to make my point *very* clear before it comes to this.
“If there is a good God, He would want us to be good and avoid evil /sin.”
If God wants us to avoid evil/sin, then either he is impotent or stupid, since for an omnipotent being, there are simple ways of doing that: he could have his rules appear scrolled across the sky every day, give us a little auditory warning every time we are about to sin, etc.
The only rational explanation is that, if there is a God at all, he wants us to exercise our own free will without his interference, for whatever reason.
arguments based on the foundation of humanly constructed rationales to explain the nature of a “G-d” that is prior to all constructed reason = fail
Your view of the universe totally eliminates the universe. FAIL.
That is not what LaVey wrote, Professor.
Without evil there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
De-lurking to say: that comment is my nominee for non sequitur of the YEAR. Win!
In Soviet Russia, Satan worships You!
Really? You have to travel for that? Must be annoying.
*Time* travel, no less…
Let’s all feel sorry for the misunderstood Satanists. I can’t imagine how these gentle people could possibly be associated with the worship of the devil.
“everybody thinks they worship the devil”…
Bo, isn’t that why they are called SATANists? Because they worship satan/devil? obviousness fail.
Satanism can refer to a number of belief systems depending on the user and context. The word, in basic context, can refer to the worship of the Christian devil, thus being a Christian denomination or the left hand path belief system founded by Anton LaVeyan. It is often the practice of any given Satanist not to refer to themselves with a hyphenated prefix. Each “type” of Satanist will usually refer to themselves only as Satanists. Theistic Satanism, also called Spiritual or Traditional Satanism, is the worship of Satan, and consists of several viewpoints and groups. One group that falls under the definition of Theistic Satanism are called “reverse Christians”; this is sometimes used as a disparaging term by other theistic Satanists, and embraced to a lesser or greater extent by the groups given this label. Groups called “Reverse Christian” are said to practice what Christians claim Satanists do, and worship the enemy of Christ and God. Some other groups of Theistic Satanists do not accept the Bible as depicting the true Satan to the same degree. The Spiritual Satanists however see Satan as a god that looks just like any other human, but as with all religions, is not uniform throughout all believers. While there are those who view Satan as a human-like entity, there are those who accept the ancient Roman image of Lucifer, and even those who imagine him as the image of the Greek god Pan. Spiritual Satanists tend to focus their time on meditation and self expansion. Their beliefs have nothing to do with Christianity or the Bible, and their view on Satanism.
LaVeyan Satanists are technically Atheists and Agnostics, and believe that Satan is a metaphor that represents the natural urges of mankind. The term LaVeyan Satanist or symbolic Satanist, is used by other Satanists to refer to supporters of the writings of Church of Satan founder Anton Szandor LaVey and successors such as Peter H. Gilmore. Use of the word Satanism in this context, according to religioustolerance.org, refers to a “small religious group that is unrelated to any other faith, and whose members feel free to satisfy their urges responsibly, exhibit kindness to their friends, and attack their enemies.Modern Satanism is the observance and practice of Satanic religious beliefs, philosophies and customs. In this interpretation of Satanism, the Satanist does not worship Satan in the theistic sense, but is an adversary to all spiritual creeds, espousing hedonism, materialism, Randian Objectivism, antinomianism, rational egoism, individualism, suitheism, Nietzschean and some Crowleyan philosophy and anti-theism. Modern Satanists are also sometimes referred to as symbolic Satanists.
Hop this helps any confusion.
I barley could contain myself when I saw the Easter Bunny sign off “Hop this helps…”
I lol’d a bit.
ummm actually i am a satanist and i do not worship the devil
Did you ever read Alice through the Looking Glass? She meets Humpty Dumpty who starts waffling on about how he can use words to mean whatever he wants. It illustrates that language can’t really function that way, and that words need agreed definitions to be of any use.
Why would people use the word Satanism if they don’t mean follower of Satan?
No disrespect intended to your friend, of course. I just don’t know enough about the subject.
the problem being that you cannot get a large amount of people to agree on anything yet alone letting them select the deffinition of a word. the uneducated change word meanings everyday, or worse make up words that eventually become common place and get put into a dictionary. websites like urbandictionary.com are dedicated to speading and helping people slang. when we as a populus should rise against the destrution of our verbage.
What’s the definition of ‘deffinition’?
the definition of ‘deffinition’ is “Skary can’t spell and is to lazy to spell check”.
Language is fluid. It is a living, changing entity, not a static dead thing
collecting dust in some library. It’s not like we’re still speaking Old English here, you know.
And it makes me chuckle when you talk about “amounts” of people. Do you measure rather than count them?
No, but at least I make my replies to the correct comment.
Verily, what thous sayest, dost ring true my dear dragon. Prithee, please continue.
Ywis, thart ful worthy an enamor’d of trouthe and honour, fredom and curteisie.!
*plights verrey trouthe*
Thou fool! Thou meanest, “What thou sayest **doth** ring true.”
And while I’m at it, “please” is redundant with “prithee.”
Yah, i realized that once I had re-read the post. *hangs head in shame*
Don’t worry. I liked it anyway.
*hug*
aww shucks :blush:
He has less brain cells than he realises.
Teehee
*fewer* brain cells
That was the joke. *sigh*
Pun recognition fail. *hands sticker*
I wouldn’t say so much that it was a pun – a mockery, perhaps, but not a pun.
*returns sticker*
*snork*
*hugs Loz*
*hugs Loz around Dragonwriter*
*hugs dragonwriter, without khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.*
Dragonwriter, I couldn’t agree more. I study the English language at university. This doesn’t make me an expert on the subject, it just means that I enjoy it!
So if the definition of Satanist is going to veer away from its roots, it’s quite welcome to, I just wasn’t aware that it had.
Part of the problem here is the mixing up of people using “satanism” in a more or less popular understanding with people talking about the philosophy of Anton LeVay. You shouldn’t expect a direct equation of those things. Here’s a snippet from Wikipedia characterizing LeVay’s deal:
For some reason, I never considered that Satanism might have sects. I can’t imagine why, when the family belongs to a sub-sect of a sub-sect.
Well, Satanism itself just just a sub-sect of Christianity.
Of course you’ve got the People’s Front of Satan, the Popular Peoples Front, the Satanic People’s front…
S.A.T.A.N. – Satan’s Army of Terroristic Anti-social Nutjobs
If Santanists didn’t have sects where would all of the little Santanists come from?
Carlos and his loving fans
Sorry to interrupt a great “what is is?” rant, but I think large amounts of people already agree that Satanism has something to do with Satan. The fact that the Satanists themselves are not a part of that group says more about them than it does about everyone else.
Balls!!
That’s like saying that since most Americans think that all Muslims are Baby eating monsters with lazers under their moustaches, that it must be true and that what the group believes about itself is irrelevant.
Truth by consensus leads to a purely mutable truth forged by those who are th loudest.
Actually it has more to do with how they label themselves. If Muslims called THEMSELVES “baby eating monsters” but said “we don’t eat babies…” then you’d have the same irony.
If you really want to know, just ask the next Muslim you meet,
“So, tell me, is it true that you no longer are eating babies?”
That’s a ludicrous comparison. Linguistic truth by consensus is the only way it’s ever been done, otherwise language couldn’t have evolved. If the word Muslim grew to have negative connotations, it would be in much the same place as Pagan. Meanings are added, lost, and changed, in words all the time.
Ah but in this case we are talking about a proper label applied to a group by the members of that group.
Satanist does not mean devil worshipper no matter how many non Satanists believe that its does, in very much the same way Muslim does not mean suicide bombing loon no matter how many non Muslims believe it does.
Although perhaps there is regional variation in dictionary definition, for example I refuse to use an American dictionary to define the word Satanism because of the countries fundamentalist Christian leanings
American dictionary? *shudders*
Terrifying thought, no?
So go use the googles! Satanism does refer to to those who worship the devil. It may not be the only interpretation, but it is one. Enough whining about it.
damn wrong comment … that was for darqmann ^^^
I was not whining about the interpretation of Satanism. I was pointing out (agreeing, rather) that the American Dictionary is lacking.
Not you little birdie
Darqmann you argue against the perversion of truth by consensus, then please tell where you get your truth from if not by consensus of others who think like you. Or more simply you take the facts that you prefer and fit them to your ideas. Saying an American can not define Satanism is about as intelligent as saying all Satanist worship Satan. You can’t have it both ways.if not by consensus of others who think like you. The internet is not American or a consensus. Go Googles and visit wiki as Fuzz did and you will see what I mean. My point was that you are just as wrong to say that Satanism does not refer to the worship of Satan as is the person who says all Satanist worship satan.
Did you not read the above comment?
Asking an American to define Satanism is like asking a Communist to define Capitalism.
Besides, trusting on-line knowledge is the embodiment of the perversion of truth by consensus.
as an example would anyone like to define ‘hairy bush fruit’ for me?
*googles*
Okay…according to the Oxford English Dictionary:
Satanism:
1. A satanic or diabolical disposition, doctrine, spirit, or contrivance.
2. The characteristics of the ‘Satanic school’.
3. The worship of Satan, alleged to have been practised in France in the latter part of the 19th century; the principles and rites of the Satanists.
The first time the third definition appeared in English was in 1896.
but vide supra, “Levayian Satanism”
And you think that’s old? besides it is deliberately limited to a time period and was only alleged to have been practised.
Try again.
I’m not sure if my last reply stuck here so I’ll try again.
The ‘Oxford English’ Being a dictionary of quality has deliberately limited the scope of the third definintion to a time period and a geographical region and have very rightly suggested that the practise was only alleged. 3 is only a speculative definition, besides which dou you really consider 1896 to be anything but modern?
*commits seppuku for failing to comment on the proper comment*
my comments are lost
Wow. Lots and lots of misinterpretations of my intentions here.
I made no statements as to the legitimacy of the definition. I merely offered it as a counter-argument to the claims made that “American dictionaries” were the only ones with that definition.
The definition exists. It exists outside of “American dictionaries”. It is no less reductive in and English dictionary than it is in an American one. Deal with it.
And, just as an aside, anything written after 1660 is, in my estimation, modern. I made no claims about the date, either, but merely offered it as information.
*sneaks into above post and steals the extra “d”*
I’m gonna need that later. :p
Oh God above (like that bit), another blanket opinion of Americans.
American dictionary…like an English dctionary, but with less u’s. (And judging by international test scores, less use as well.)
And with more z’s.
How considerate of you to take the forgotten letter at the end of the alphabet, and give it purpose in life. When really we banished it there in the first place for being naughty.
I think we did it just so we could rack up more points in Scrabble.
lolzzzzzzzzzz
And maybe if it was called called “LazerMoustacheism” instead of Islam, then people might tend to think that. The difference between us is that in that case you would spend 5 hours pondering why.
Ok,
Buddhism doesn’t involve worshipping the Buddha but instead understanding the aims and teachings.
In a similar way the character of Satan is not deified by Satanist more Satan’s attitude to god and the self is aspired to.
In fact, thinking more about it, it would appear that the meaning of -ism is in question here.
Marxists are not Worshippers of Karl Marx.
Taoists.. well there wasn’t a character called Tao.
I’d also imagine that if there were such a thing as a Christist that it would be distinct in definition to a Christian.
You are not a Satan loving Satanist! Cease and desist your propaganda and lies! Satan relishes in his evilness and will not have you diminishing his name and his hard works with your whineyness!
Good analogy, darqmann.
.
I am a postmodern Buddhist and meditation teacher. I do not “worship” the Buddha. There are forms of Buddhism, however, where one could properly suggest that their practitioners do (e.g., Pure Land Buddhims, a.k.a. Amidism — “worship” of Amida Buddha). To his mind, though, in such cases “Buddha” has effectively become a poetic name for “Reality.”
.
It would take too long to describe adequately here, but I very much think that is what happens over and over with much of language, and especially the language of human spirituality. Words originally connected with an experiential understanding of teachings (especially teachings about practices, e.g., meditation), slide over into use as names for metaphysical “things.”
I am a satanist myself. We are-for the most part- a LOT more tolerant and understanding then christians and all other religions.
and ALL other religions….
and THAT would be a generalization and even bordering on elitism (We are better than ALL the rest because we are more tolerant).
That’s quite a sweeping generalisation for such a tolerant person to make!
Satin is soft on the skin, so that should make sense.
Completely understandable to assume that if only for a short time. After all, fictitious Christian propaganda was made to be believed.
That said, I am NOT gentle! Not all the time. Which is rather one of the main points. Sheep are gentle, people are deeper than this.
I’d just like to confirm for anyone not in the know – Southern Suburbs, they are south.
I was suprised at that too! Who would’ve thought.
Nah, the real question is – Who wouldn’t have thought. For the readership of this rag it probably would be news
Haha, all this time they’ve been thinking they live in the Northern Southern Suburbs.
Were you supine while you were suprised?
D’oh!
And yes, yes I was
Oh shit, the secret is out. I’d better go into hiding.
*stuffs black cape in the cupboard and removes upside-down crosses from the wall*
you forgot your satanist bible and your abused copy of the necronomicon!
Crap, *stuffs them away, keeps the vial of sacrificed-goat’s blood around neck*
HAH! I used to work in an occult shop, and the sweet little Satanists would come in and buy copies of the Necronomicon all the time. They were so much fun.
The Necronomicon’s not so much fun when you’re trapped in a cabin in the woods and all your friends try to kill you, and you have to eventually replace your severed arm with a chainsaw!
‘Cause that happens ALL the time…
It does, and when you look in a mirror, it breaks into a hundred pieces and each one has a tiny evil version of yourself in it…then they tie you to the floor and torture you!
Hey, that happened to my buddy last week…
You’re the good dilettante… and I’m the bad dilettante
Goody goody two shoes!
Where’s my shotgun?
So only one other person besides myself has seen Evil Dead or enjoyed it?
*sigh*
Can’t talk now, dilly! My own hand is trying to kill me!!
Hee! Watch out!
Groovy!
Shop smart. Shop…S-mart.
So, was it only a ‘little’ death your hand was causing?
This one guy I know is basically all chainsaws now, ‘cuz it just kept happening. We’ve all been there. I know I have.
We don’t say grace at my house. We just sacrifice a child to our great lord Satan
at least its one less child
gorgonzola, are your kids made of cheese? cause if so I couldn’t blame you… nothing like fresh cut cheese with a meal.
Why, yes!
We sacrificed lil’ Blue last night, so that leaves Edam, Cheddar and Wensleydale.
Kill Edam next, and pass me a slice.
*holds out cracker*
Hey, who are you calling little?!
.
*rereads Gorgonzola’s comment*
Oh, nevermind…
*wonders if that makes Gorgonzola a cannibal*
That must make for some awkward dinner parties.
it’s like a decil’s 3-way, its only awkward if you make eye contact.
devil’s
…haircut?
Beef Tub.
My, that is good news!
It is indeed.
Hello, Satan, how are you doing?
I hope you don’t mind us talking about you. Tell my heathen ancestors I said hi.
Why is REAL the most stressed word in the sentence?
You’re right they should have stressed “IS” instead.
Of course “real” would be most stressed, it wouldn’t make sense otherwise.
It’s funny that they didn’t capitalise “satanism”, like some subtle, immature way of showing disrespect. Or maybe they think capitalising it will make him appear.
Thats more like what I was thinking.
Of course, since Satanism is a proper noun, it should be capitalized. Unless it isn’r real of course, in which case ….
In which case the headline is a lie, so it isn’t really news. And as they say, “No news is good news.”
So really, it all makes perfect sense….
i guess people in the south dont get REAL news, so news that might scare them back in to church is REAL enough.
Well it’s a specifically Christian paper, so criticising them for focusing on faith issues is a little off the point.
Because no one with an editor or an english handbook capitalizes articles instead of nouns, and the point of the article is providing evidence Satanism exists (I.E. is real).
Some people capitalize the most important word in the sentence. I leave it to you to decide weather that’s more sensible than the people who capitalize for no apparent reason at all.
I am not sure weather it is or not, I am still a bit foggy on the subject.
It certainly seems to be a grey and cloudy area.
Haha! I think Ryan could do with an editor or an English handbook himself.
STFU! Worship Satan!!
Satanism is real, and that’s good news!
I’d quite like an editor; they could make my life appear much more interesting than it really is.
Please apply via this thread with a story that makes me look good (or at least adequate).
I have an editor…trust me, they make life very, very difficult! She’s great and important, but sometimes I just want to throttle her.
Maybe I just need a ghost writer then. Or a ghost liver, rather, who can go and live some interesting experiences and report back to me.
VROOM, VROOM!!! Take that editor.
i hAte pEoPle wHo CapatAliZe fOR no ReaSOn!!
Are you talking about sergeantselfevident?
*tears up story in progress that made Spazmataz look good*
You can borrow my editor, if you like.
I need a character editor.
*makes a character study*
…C’mon now. Study! :p
Sorry, only character assassins here.
I’m all out of character.
*sighs and returns to life of sub-adequacy*
Because else, the GN-readers would assume that satanism is Integer.
photoshop FAIL. It’s way too obvious. At least capitalize your article title if you’re going to try to trick us.
You caught it too, eh?
can please someone explain me why 2 + 3 is 5 and not 4 or 6? thx!!
25 or 6 to 4
*searches for something to say, gives up, closes eyes, sits cross-legged on the floor*
(btw, Jesus just left Chicago and he’s bound for New Orleans)
terrible photardshop
“Good news, everyone!”
Good news : )
Don’t leave us hanging, what is it?
I think it was ‘Blessed are the cheesemakers.’
Shut up, bignose.
Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I’ve finished with you!
Oh, it’s the meek! I’m glad they’re getting something, ’cause they have a hell of a time.
LOL. Sometimes Python is even funnier when typed out.
You leave m’lady’s nose alone, mister!
I’m Brian and so is my wife!
I’m Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler!
He wanks vewy highly in Wome, you know.
Methinks the pope would disapprove…
He has a wife, you know. You know what she’s called? She’s called… ‘Incontinentia’… Incontinentia Buttocks
Satanism is REAL in the South South Suburbs.
But what about the Southeast suburbs?
They’re in limbo.
Since I am a Satanist (LaVeyan/Modern), I could have told you that it’s real…
thanks for the good news.
You didn’t become a satanist. You just found out that you were one all along.
Why is this a fail? There ARE people who worship Satan, whether you believe Satan exists are not. Satanism as a “religion” exists and is real. It may not be TRUE but it is real just as any other religion like Atheism.
Atheism isn’t a religion.
and the fail was that the papers layout suggests that Satanism’s existence is ‘Good News’ not the statement in of itself.
Depends on your use of the word “religion.” I think it’s useful to remember that everyone has a working map of how the world works, and a sense for what is ethical. And that meets many scholars’ definition of religion — a worldview + an ethos. One can obviously argue for applying the term only to cultural traditions that include certain institutions and ritual forms and set practices, etc., but, to my mind, it is fair to suggest that everyone has a religion, be it (for instance) theistic or anti-theistic.
Plus, atheists can be just as obnoxious and proselytizing as the fundie Christians can. Those atheists tend to give the rest of us a bad rep…
I concur. Atheist are just as religious about their non-belief as scientist are about their facts. And I have spoken with many who are just as ignorant / intolerantof other ‘religions’ as others.
Atheism fail. Atheism CAN be a religion, but it doesn’t have to be, and you can be a practicing atheist, meaning one who preaches atheism. Technically, it’s the lack of faith in a god, a-against or without, theos -god. Godless. Don’t get it confused with irreligious.
Also, no one’s mentioned this paper is from South Africa…(although totally irrelevant).
Getting the point fail
It should be pointed out that Christians SHOULD say that Satanism is real, otherwise they are stating that the “Bad Guy” in their Holy Text doesn’t really exist, thus part of their Holy Text is wrong.
And if PART of it can be wrong, the whole thing can be wrong, thus, it is Good News that Satanism is real. It validates their own religion.
Jesus Fail. =]
You mean Juses.
Loz wins a hat. Congrats!
LOLZ! I remember that one!
♪ I found myself in some kind of hell
but I did not believe in a heaven and hell world in opposite’s kind of reality
and I gained control of myself
and I decided to press on … ♪
_____
help me Lord, I feel like dancing! *uh, tiss, uh, tiss, uh kiss kiss kiss*
^^
“the voice from above did whisper
some shining answer…”
Well, it’s good news for Satan, anyway.
SATANISM! *masturbates*
You know what I will do now…
*sacrifies baby, eats cat, has a party on the graveyard, fux a skull, vomits on gravestones* That should do. Good night, I have to go now… *watches Teletubbies* Winky-winkyyy >-.-<
How could you! How dare you, even?
Admitting to watching Teletubbies on a public forum …
Not really a fail, since even Christians believe that Satan exists and that people follow him, both in the theistic and non-theistic forms, but I digress. >_>
what the hell is the fail here?
(besides somebody reading “The Good News”)
I’d definitely rather call this one “Good News WIN!!!”
fail?! this is GREAT news! perhaps soon they’ll tell us Santa is real then my life will be complete.
Non-christian win!
Trying to respond to comments. Guess I’ve been banned or something. What’s wrong with the blog?
You haven’t been banned. Failblog is messed again. Click ’show all’ above the comments and that’ll help.
basement cat can not haz this.
this is fail hoooow?
GOOD NEWS: Satanism is real! (ie, it’s good news that satanism is real)
lol
There just aren’t anymore linenists are there, I can’t even find a nice place to worship near me.
Good news everyone! I’m sending you on a deliver from which you may never return! Well, I’ll get the ship started…
I saw this and thought it said Vegetarinism is REAL!
And though of significant fail…
!!!!!!!EPIC WIN!!!!!!!!
good news in a hysterical media country like the us
good thing it wasnt a country like South Africa,
jo bURg mother
HAIL SATAN
that’s all i gunna say
Edit the news paper on your computer FAIL?
ya know what i need………………………………a prozzy!!
what the heck, u just wrote that in urself