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Nice.
yeah, nice
Thats Two
TWO BLACK EYES OR GTFO.
maybe she should have listened the first time.
Anything but first.
AMERICA FIRST.
America FIST
Abomination (Psy Duo) reference WIN!
Anything butt first?
dude thats hilarious
Where’s my car?
HUH?
WHAT?
WHO?
Dood?
Embryos are babies!
Chicken embryos are delicious.
WHAT!
WHO!
The guy on first! What’s his name?
I thought he was on second.
Good catch.
Oh, that’s our shortstop!
(No, wait, my mistake – that one was “I Don’t Give A Damn”.)
Tomorrow
Heartbeat 18 days!!
Fetusus are less than Human! Also Yummy!
fingernails, really?
and best line in that whole movie: my boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse. they make his junk taste like pie.
You’re obviously not first captain
You trying to replace him?
lol WIN
No, but I am.
That’s…
Yeah. My brain hurts now.
THAT’S FROM THE MASSIVE BEATING YOUR HUSBAND GAVE YOU LAST NIGHT.
A-ha! Now it all makes sense. You are Dork in disguise, back to torture us all.
He will rue the day he messed with us!!!…..Possibly
Rue the day? Who says that anymore? Clark?
I say it.
Real Science win!
Real Genius win.
I guess we now see who the real genius is…
Me? It’s me right?
I accept. Where’s my prize money and private island?
Shouldn’t you be at the meeting of the League of Chef-Magi?
In Soviet Russia, women brutally attack you.
WOLVERINES.
Really? I shot like 50 of those last summer.
Any chance you could…you know…clear a few pests out of here?
*hopeful look*
Sorry, don’t have my freakin’ 12 gauge.
Damn.
Does he have his regular 12 gauge? He could use that.
I’m pretty sure a BB gun would be sufficient.
Or some Dynamite.
Its not good to shoot Russian women…. before the age of 30.
don’t you mean cougars?
In Soviet Russia, magazine juxtaposes you. Get it right.
Oh I do apologise. I was merely speaking from experience.
spazmataz’s quote actually made sense and was funny, urs just sucked.
Ryan is juxt a poser.
To be fair, half of the supposed comedy from the “in soviet Russia” jokes comes from the idea that it’s not really all that funny. It’s one of those paradox jokes where it’s funny specifically because it’s not funny.
Firstly, I completely disagree, these jokes done correctly are damn funny.
Secondly, very clever Admiral (if it was not a typo)
Xomebody needs to pay more attention to my comments.
Russia fail
You beat one too?
High 5
TIME TO GO BEAT WOMEN LOL.
Zip up. Your tiny little elf is evident.
Sarge, are there ants on your little elf that’s evident?
hmm..i dont get it. >_<
Maybe you’re not pretty enough?
HE GETS IT.
I wish I got it.
from your mother.
lol
beatin wimminz is teh funniez! MASSIVE LAWLZ. *masturbates* hate baseball tho.
I LOVE BEATING WOMEN.
You two are both EPIC FAILS at life.
I second that motion
I despise that moron.
We should tell your mothers for some serious female violence.
Yes – it’s sad to say they belong here, I wish they would talk less though.
Amen to that.
Seems like they belong on the lolcat site.
They’d get booted from the lolcat site pretty fast. The lolcats may not be grammar or spelling nazis, but you had damn well better be sweetness and light! And silly.
And that is where they should stay. They’re illegal immigrants!
they toook er jyeebs!
she got attacked, and the picture below is them high fiving.
O RLYY???
Captain Obvious, is that you?
No, actually that was Nemesis
Captain Obvious’ Nemesis= Captain Subtle?
No, Military Person of Some Lower Degree of Clarity.
No tis I, Corporal Punishment with my sidekick Private Parts!
Yeah High Five !
I LOVE BEATING WOMEN!!
I LOVE BEATING WOMEN!!!
I LOVE BEATING WOMEN!!!!
I LOVE BEATING FUZZ ON THE CONCEPT!
I LOVE BEATING WOMEN!!!!!
ENG!
Wow. We all know the reality – WOMEN LOVE BEATING YOU. Don’t worry, you’ll grow up in a decade or so and mommy will let you out of your room. You’re lucky – most 8 year old kids don’t get their own computer – or are you stealing time off of mommy’s machine?
Fuzz could kill you with a thought.
Or a tray.
Yes but the food is hot.
Eddie Izzard reference WIN!!
Go! Put babies on spikes, you crazy bastard!
It’s the American dream!
*stuffs all the money in the world in ears and goes “PLLLBBBTTTTT!!”*
“Ciao!”
Hahahaah dammit people, you’re wonderful.
Why are all the trays wet?
they got confused with a cherub.
So why is the rum always gone?
*sighs*
If only your mother had been pro-choice, then she might have made the right choice…
I BEAT MY MOTHER. SHE IS A WOMAN.
Your mother ? a woman ? NO FUCKING WAY !
My mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries.
I don’t like your father. He’s berry wine-y.
*giggle*
This Holy Grail reference just made my minute.
Don’t lie, you’re adopted
He probably has 2 dads.
No friggin’ way anyone would have him by choice.
Maybe she was in Alaska and wasn’t given a choice.
Failin’ Palin reference – Win!
OMG you people are horrible! THAT’S why I suffer some of these posts! ROFLMAO!
Now THAT’S an Adoption Fail!
Why feed the troll?
C’mon people…
Don’t worry, he’s not good enough at it to sustain interest for any
extended length of time. He’s already too boring for me to respond
directly to anymore.
Trolls need to eat too you know.
NO THEY DON’T.
The editor who approved this layout got his start approving ad placements for a magazine.
THAT MAGAZINE WAS CALLED “BEAT WOMEN QUARTERLY”.
Only quarterly?
It takes them that long to string together coherent sentences.
Sgt – This is the Commandant of the Fail Corps. You have been demoted for failures of epic proportions, innappropriate use of caps, and conduct unbecoming of an enlisted member of the FAILitary. Turn in your stripes and keyboard immediately, and report to the stockade.
Don’t you mean Stalag 13, Colonel?
Or would you rather spare Hogan the misery of dealing with him?
OOPS!!
Oops.
Oops?
English Sun page 3 Topless Women
Toronto Sun page 3 Rusty Pipe
You’re a rusty pipe
I always thought of myself as more of a rusty blade
I think you’re more of a busty maid.
Not more of a musty braid?
No, more of a fusty grade.
I would say he’s closer to a crusty ‘nade.
or a must be spayed
Obvious just got sprayed.
and fails to get laid.
No, that would be you.
Or so I was told by one Sam Spade.
Ouch.
Take it like a man…
I do believe he did, my dear K.
Yea you should have seen the size of that thing.
I’m not saving Ryan’s privates!
This is the same publication whose September 12, 2001 front-page headline read “BASTARDS!”
Now that’s political insight for ya. In fairness we didn’t know the word “terrorists” back then, so bastards had to do. And instead of WMDs we called them “sticks with nails in”.
You didn’t know the word “terrorists” back on September 12, 2001?
Well, I was kidding, but thinking about it I was 13 at the time and didn’t know much of anything.
Maturity FAIL.
Hey, I was 13 too. Age is but a number :p
*continues to feel old*
I was…. uhhhh… 26.
Don’t feel too bad; I was 21. We’re still young.
*commiserates*
Age might be but a number, but I remember going to the first Star Wars Movie . In the the theatre. Also, the man who was in office when I was born? He wasn’t even on the ticket! No one voted for him. My number keeps creeping up…. slowly.
I’m still older than you are. :p
Not by much. At least, near as I can figure.
Nah, not much. Five years.
Now you two get back in your rocking-chairs, I’ll bring you some tea and you can finish your knitting before bedtime at 8pm
Well, the babies need to be in bed before that, so you go and play now and we’ll call you when it’s time for you to put on your jammies.
Hey Dragon? What say you and I teach this young whipper-snapper a thing or two?
Nevermind, I can see you’ve already go that under control.
Hee…!
But you can put her in time-out if she gets out of hand.
Hahaha. I actually used the phrase ‘whipper-snapper’ in conversation today.
And Dragon, I may be a baby compared to you, but that’s not saying much
IF???
*snork*
Good point, Avis.
*gets out of hand*
Come and get me, suckers!
Oh wait, you can’t, your zimmer frames are in the other room.
I might not be young anymore, but my love life keeps keeps me spry!!
Woo!
I just act immature.
There is something to be said about a good “Get Off My Lawn!” though.
Only if you can back it up, the way Master Bra’tac can.
I cant wait until I get old and cantankerous. I can complain to my grandchildren about how easy the kids in the future have it and how much shitier it was back in the day, and they’ll all be like “Get back in your seniority pod, Grandpa, it’s time to download your nutrients.”
We had to drive uphill both ways!
So I’m a craddlerobber then?
It’s my birthday! I’m 21 now. Hoooooooray!
heh me too
*checks falling-out hair for grey* nope, not yet…
And we didnt call them hamburgers… we called them steamed hams.
Denying yourself a Simpsons reference fail.
(Sorry, I have issues with “wins” on a fail blog. Everything is a fail to me – you just have to know how to twist things into failures. I fear I’m to damned good at that.)
Sense FAIL
That’s the Sun for you… POS paper, not worth the 25 cents it costs…
Observation FAIL,
it clearly states on the image about which we are commenting that it is now 50 cents (complete with a graphical depiction of two quarters.).
Price FAIL. It says “Now 50 cents” up in the upper lefthand corner.
Beat you
Once, and not even brutally.
But it was still fun to watch.
I got video too. This thing’s hittin’ Youtube.
Did it take you more than 10 minutes to write that sentence or are you the new Recruit Repetition?
I’m alternating between this and another site in another browser window, and didn’t think to refresh before replying.
Definitely the Sun. Their front page is never without sports, lurid descriptions of violence against women and/or children, or combinations of both.
So they always feature Kobe Bryant?
Also, Nickelback.
Looks like a Photoshop fail too. His arm is behind the other guy’s head.
What?
Are you on something?
Each arm is attached to its respective owner and in the correct high five execution position.
No Photoshop required
lol the Sun is such a second rate publication. what a joke.
who cares
k?
Nice one!
FUKK BASEBALL – CRICKET IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!
Yeah, the first ever cricket match should be ending any day now.
But they have to have one last tea break.
That is COMPLETELY the point of this Fail.
That is COMPLETELY the point of this Fail.
Hell no
I was working at a cricket match a few months ago
Scotland v England – No guessing who won there
The game was delayed 3 hours due to the weather and when it finally started it actually got even more boring.
It was later abandoned due to drizzle.
for shizzle?
My nizzle, what you sizzle?
“Cops fear North York Rapist will strike again” ALRIGHT! WOO!
Great, now I want a Slurm,
and a comma to go away, as well.
Wimmy wham wham wozzle!
Not the Yorkshire Ripper, surely?
Isn’t he dead?
Did anyone else notice the $1million dollar winner column? Brutaly Beat a Womnan and win a MILLION! *Goes on a rampage*
Fuck you!
OK! *masturbates*
fasturbates!
Be polite. Go f*ck yourself!
Please.
*surprises and pleases*
FAIL!!!
I think I recognize one from the Portsmouth Dockyard…
You stay classy, Toronto Sun.
ABORTION! WOO!
Babies are less than human!
high five to rape and winning a million
I love this site. Can someone tell me when and where the word FAIL got current to describe these funny screw ups? I get the feeling the Brits started it. Very effective. Thanks.
Not a fail, the balloon was placed there by the people who took the picture. The baby did not eat the balloon.
(TWO HUNDRED) FIRST!
Everything in toronto fails
It’s the Toronto Sun, they’ve had fail covers for years… its what keeps them in business
Toronto’s newspapers are, and always will be, epic fail….
Toronto’s streets are fail.
Toronto’s buildings are make of fail-bricks.
Anything that has ‘Toronto’ in it…. Fails miserably.
ESPECIALLY THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (BOO!!!!!!)
Go Sens Go.
W00t W00t.
yay Toronto?! *high five*
The Toronto Sun (and it’s brethren in Calgary and Vancouver) are notorious for this kind of juxtaposition. So much that it’s a long running joke around here. I’ve been laughing at Sun cover juxtapositions since the late 80s, at least. It happens so often, that sometimes I think they do it on purpose.
Luckily, it’s a game you can play without having to buy the paper.
very nice, high five!
Go Blue Jays!