Submitted by Ian H
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If they had used any color but white…
Lucia candles are supposed to be white though
Good Point.
Maybe beeswax candles? They don’t drip as much.
Or even if her mouth was closed. Really. For all of us with dirty minds out here, that’s just a tad bit wrong…
This saint received the “Pedobear seal of approval”.
It was him!
*Points to the preacher*
It couldn’t be. I think it’s a girl not a 8-year old boy.
Well you know it’s so hard to tell these days with their long hair and androgynous features.
they prefer to be called “Emo”
Like “Tickle me Emo”?
More like “Slice me Emo”.
Naw, it’s Emo Phillips.
On a related note, my parents threw me quite the going-away party. According to the letter…
Emo Philips is a god, how dare you misspell his surname raelalt.
Mitch Hedberg is (or WAS) better…
Platinum edition.
*offers clean-minded comment –*
::wax off::
… and there’s always more where that, ah, came from –
::wax prolific::
that made me wax nostalgic…
“Wax off”….? Wait…WAIT!!!
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!*
OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
Wax on.
*Waxing*
Jay and Silent Bob win
Doesn’t this look like some kinda “buttcake” (or however its spelled?)
Wow, never heard that mentioned yet.
i think in order to be a bookahki the doll would have to be buried up to her neck before the fun begins
and bookahki is the way to spell it if you want type to speech programs to say it correctly.
“boo cake”
I always thought it was “buck cake” myself.
ha, class can get Reallllly Boring and computer speaking programs can’t say everything perfectly so you have to mess with the spelling to get the right pronunciation.
And I would like to add
that waxing poetic
might be bad.
Eh. I’ve waxed a poet or two in my day.
Aye, and I’ve polished a couple knobs, too.
Hey, I wrote a limerick. Does that qualify?
Absolutely. And may I say, I very much enjoyed said limerick.
Thank you, I’m glad you did. I liked the later contributions in that thread as well.
Awwww, well… this has become the mutual appreciation society hasn’t it?
But thank you again!
*appreciates!*
I have waxed poetic for Sara
A pun
Can be Fun
Sara has a Bun
I would tell you more
But now I’ve got to Run
That’s a sticky wicket.
*whacks off*
Freak’n Hilarious
There should have been some kind of rim to keep as much wax from dripping down…
And yeah, it’s not too hard to wipe up melted wax (a bit hot though), and even after it dries, you can usually just pick it off or re-melt it.
dude…did you even get this one?
ROFL ROFL who wants Waffles?
dude, that’s just disgusting
So you’re suggesting a rim-job?
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
How about you just laugh at it and move on?
errr….. that is wrong
Nothin`says Merry Xmas like a money shot on a loli figurine!
How about a Caribou Barbie shooting a moose with lipstick from a helicopter?
Only if she comes with an american flag bikini.
That probably is how she comes.
*snert*
I love a double entendre!!!
I love to double-enter ‘er.
You’re nerve is an example to us all.
Wait, I’m confused. Why is Caribou Barbie shooting lipstick at a moose? And what kind of crazy whirleybird is equipped with lipstick-shooting guns?
One of the new DC comics super heroes.
Silly me, the whole time I thought you were making a Sarah Palin joke!!!
Wondering [about answers to basic interview questions] Woman
She’s got back…
to ya on that.
lol — excellent no-comment comment ^
Eyes stuck shut, but mouth wide open :-O
Epic fail (or dirty minds on this blog).
Oh cum all ye faithful
LMAO! WIN!
Haha! Another wonderful Catholic tradition.
No. If this were Catholic it would be a little choirboy statue.
HO HO HO! It’s a snowball!
THE CATHOLICS: yes they are people who like bukakke
Sir, I applaud you.
ROFL!
This is going on all my xmas cards
Oh hole-y night?
Joy to the World…..
The Lord has Cum…
*marches straight to hell for that one*
(as if I weren’t going there anyway)
Going where now?
Hades, Hell, Infernus, Behelian, Occulere… Home.
^ keeps the home fires burning
hmm. Reality fail?
So anyway, this resembles a “buttcake” of some sort, right?
So, back to your old trick of posting the same thing multiple times.
WHAT TRICK WOULD THAT BE?
WHAT TRICK WOULD THAT BE??
This drill sergeant is a tool with only one bit in his chuck-le head.
You forgot Tartarus. XD
Well, the lord may or may not have cum, but we know his daddy did!
…..the lord has cum
Ooooh. A close 2nd.
Oh cum oh cum Emmanuel?
I have videos of that.
the sequal wasnt nearly as good as the original.
Damn, you’re going to get me fired here! ROFLMAO!
HMM i wonder if red would be any better…or yellow…
oh cum all ye faithful…
Simply Jizzed. xD
first
lol fail
blah fail
failblah
dot org
-y?
!
Holy shit
No, you’re thinking of a different candle.
2 anels and a cup????
2 anals and a cup. But you have to be registered.
Lmfao. Win.
THIS is the WIN.
holly facial
Actually, those are poinsettias in the foreground.
^^ holly hunter
Holly Hunter facial?!
Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile.
You and your missile meet me under my mistletoe, and we’ll see about that.
Oi! Get a room!
…ow :3 At least she has a white dress so you don’t see the stains on it :3
But that makes the beautiful pearl necklace harder to see.
That’s what happens when you lie to Pinnochio…
In Japeto’s Soviet Workshop Pinnochio lie to you.
Names of Italian origin fail – Gepetto
Surprised you didn’t spot that I had ‘Pinocchio’ wrong too
Japeto is what he is called at Tokyo Disney
I was blinded by the blatant racism towards our friends in Japan.
So she’s the one saying the line “No, wait” from the french lesson fail?
I don’t think so. Her mouth isn’t exactly made for talking.
Oui!
It was made for loving you baby and I was made for loving you
“This mouth was made for sucking/and sucking’s what it’ll do. One of these days this mouth is gonna…um…suck all over you?”
I got nothin’.
^ put her mouth in her boot
Everyone knew her as Nancy.
But she called herself ‘Lil.
and her name was m’gill
yay! beatles win!!!
fiftyfirst
a little angel how cute
get a couple more of those little singers and we could have a candle opera
That’s quite a candle leer you have on your face.
um…. thats not leer….
WHAT TRICK WOULD THAT BE???
The callow tallow is candalous.
It’s not over until the fat one is blown out.
Gross!
And I bet that the angel is still underage too!
No, it turned 18 shortly after this picture was taken.
fail
Virgin Mary Fail!
i doubt she’s a virgin anymore.
Just ’cause she’s got a facial, doesn’t mean she went all the way.
Recognizing Christmas saints fail dumbass
Getting the joke FAIL
St. Fail Dumbass…. Failblog’s patron saint.
Epic….
it went everywhere apart from her mouth.. lol
aiming = fail
The priest was probably in a rush, services were starting.
You need to look up “facial” on Urbandictionary.
WHAT TRICK WOULD THAT BE?????
the wear it on your face one
Melt in the hand, not in the mouth?
The wax is meltin’, pic’s failin’
Or WIN at trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
Trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
Trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
Trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
On the floor rollin’, we laughin’
It’s a WIN at trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
Trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
Trying to catch us thinkin’ dirty
Minds in the gutter, we’re really thinkin’ dirty…
Award for most effort goes to:
effort:reward ratio fail
I can’t identify the tune
Culture Fail. Chamillionaire – Ridin’ Dirty.
Cool Fail,
Why would I know that???
because of the Weird Al parody of it, “White and Nerdy.” That’s how I know it, and I know nothing about rap.
Ah yes, good old “White and Nerdy”.
Had POB quoted Shakespeare, Lawrence, or even Rowling, I could see this as a culture fail… but expecting the general masses to know the lyrics to a rap song, not so much!
Oh, I don’t know, maybe he thought some of us don’t live under rocks. Granted, I wouldn’t have known what it was unless I was told, but rap’s not my thing. Plus I’m old and it’s hard to lift that rock some mornings.
Actually, I’m only familiar with “Ridin’ Dirty” because Weird Al did a parody of it. I tend to avoid pop music as much as possible.
Pop music is for children. If I hear something I like, I go buy it. I do not listen to the radio any more. At least not for music.
classic rock is the new pop
Then where do you hear things you like?
Did you just say that you need someone to help you get your rocks off?
The only way I would ever have heard it is if I was stopped at a traffic light
and the moron next to me, with his 500 watt car stereo, decided to let the world know what lousy taste in music he had.
.
Not knowing the lyrics of a Rap song is more of a culture WIN.
*SNORK*
I enjoy the odd rap song, but the stereotypical listener I am not! What I love the most is when you can’t identify what song it is because the car parts are vibrating so badly it drowns out the 500Db of “music”!
I agree. I’m proud of the fact that I have no idea what that crap coming out of the car next to me is. If it’s not “Dirty White Boy”, it’s not important.
Subwoofers FTW! *soups out*
*cream of turkey*
*chicken noodle*
Well if that’s what she was drinking she has no hand-mouth co-ordination.
Naw, she was drinking cream of mushroom
With pizza?
Only if it’s white pizza – with EXTRA CHEESE.
The only reason I know it is because Weird Al parodied it. into White and Nerdy.
Culture identification epic fail.
I think Chamillionaire IS a culture fail.
And goodwill to all men.
Faaaaaall on your kneeeeees!!!
in Soviet Russia, all men go to goodwill.
Epic FAILcial.
as a result of FAILacio
as a result of FAILgasm
That’s all wrong… it should be an alter boy. *tisk tisk*
How has said boy been altered?
^ seemstressed about the alteration
That comment was tailored to fit the situation!
Yes, you could say it was tailor-made for the occasion.
Sew true.
*in stitches*
You guys are such cut-ups, needling us like that. . .
I’d say this thread has the page sewn up.
^^^ posts share common thread
*hems and haws*
knit one, pearl necklace one
Ugh, how unseamly.
I had a notion this was going to happen in this thread.
Well no need to twine about it. It happens frequently.
Hmmm, how long do you think we can string this one along??
This is becoming a pattern here.
well, I’ve been trying to quilt, but I just can’t give it up!
I think weave all been trying that.
The end is looming near.
The threat of a long thread of puns is looming.
I needle to remember to hit refresh before replying.
Darn!
This thread is for the thimble minded.
We have the baste of times here.
were just a random patchwork of friends
a virtual community fashioned from online fabrications
A seamless transfer of wisdom and wit.
Maybe some of our edges are slightly frayed but a thimble full of fail keeps us from splitting at the seams
cloaked in our secret traditions
but our intentions thinly veiled…
C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
It seamstress was a bit too much for corey to handle there.
Seams he just doesn’t get the needlepoint of thbis thread.
Probably just a crotchet-ty old man…
Oh, I hope he’s not gonna tell one of those “When I was your age” yarns . . .
Well, I won’t make any religious over-generalizing jokes now. We all know what kind of essay-length discussion that would provoke.
It would be more historically accurate if the angel was a boy.
O shit, I let one slip! Sorry, I fail.
^ is succinctly condemned to statuary raphael
Mmmmm… Cream Pious…
“Mmmmm…sacrilicious.”
Wrong end.
That’s one hell of a fail.
S.U. and I posted the exact same joke at the exact same time.
It has to be divine intervention.
If you’re saying that God thinks altar boy jokes are passé, I have to say I’m with the Almighty on that one.
No. I’m saying that he likes jokes like this. Working through me to let the joke appear for a second time.
And altar boy jokes will be passé someday, when there’s no fail fuel for them any more. We could start by altering these candles.
we can just drill in Alaska for more fail fuel.
Didn’t the Republicans just do that?
no theyre trying to tap Americans a$$es for 700 BILLION dollars, not fail fuel.
What do you call Sarah Palin then?
touche.
Proof that it’s better to drill than be drilled?
The republicans are against the bail-out.
I support drilling in Alaska… abstinence-only education FAILS.
scream until santa stops?
Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I’m telling you why:
Santa Claus is cumming to town!
He’s making a list,
He’s checking it twice,
He’s gonna find out
who’s naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is cumming to town!
He sees you when you’re sleeping,
He knows when you’re awake…
There is no escape from Pervert Santa!
amen
Silent night, holy night
Angel child, bathed in white
She’s done bad things and she should be ashamed,
She wanted it but the shepherds were blamed.
Peace in heavenly sleep,
It made a change from the sheep!
Riding through the snow, with a cumshot in the sleigh,
all over her face it goes, spashing all away…
Well, amen again, to you both!
on your two front teeth???
while shepherds watched?
The shepherds are off scrogging the sheep. . .
Now all we need is Pedobear sneaking up on the Manger. . .
EPIC CHRISTIANITY AGGRO
Scrogging? I thought I was the only one keeping that word alive! Aww, thanks for helping me, pal!
Snogging fail
Or a hula-hoop?
OKAY!!
http://www.links2love.com/christmas-songs-chipmunk-song.htm
if this picture wasn’t like 10 years old (literally, not kidding).. it might be funny
If you weren’t, like 10 years old, your comment might be funny!
If I was, like, 10 years old, I’d so be getting a face full of jizz right now.
Ah, so you got the jizzt of it?
Jizzt about.
good times, and all that jizz.
Something… something…
and thats what the priest said
*masturb…*
Oh you’ve been done already.
Oh Cum All Ye Faithful….
And they say Santa only comes once a year…
Well done on reading the other posts
wow…she’s going to hell..
so apparently statues go to hell too!
good. we’ll all need a little company down there.
that’s saint lucia… cumshot edition
well the cumshot wasn’t intended in the design of course
LOOOL, who’s next???
I WANT ONE OF THAT FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!
a facial? we can work something out….
think you can whip one up for him eh?
Wonder what people would think if she was waring a BLUE dress?
That was a very Corning comment… You should have Anchor-Hocking-ed it better.
This thread is missing something… What is it? Oh!
*masturbates*
You seen the picture? You’re too late…
I don’t celebrate Christmas and don’t send out christmas cards (big social sin over here).
Just trying to get into hell, people.
*line forms*
*drives up with bus full of people* We took the highway to get here.
Scroll up a bit… you can always join me at home!
Done some dirt cheap dirty deeds have ya?
I dunno about you, dilettante, but me?
Well, I’ve been ringing hell’s bells for a while now.
Well, I’ll be Thunderstruck……
Just so long as you’re not Shot Down In Flames.
Hey, I’ve been ringing Hell’s bells for a while now.
Join me in my handbasket…we can chat on the way
*masturbates* jingle balls jingle balls…
It seems that this fail is not in the eye of the beholder.
It’s all around her face.
Now that was a very good one! More of that please!
So this is what it means when santa says to open your stalkings
Not Santa… but perhaps when the local police tell you to open your stALKings, this is why!
So, THAT’S what the Second Coming looks like.
….and the third and the fourth….
She loves Jesus long time…sucky sucky…
Yikes! That’s a sure-fire way to get to Hell!
HELL YEAH!!!
Does she get $5 out of the collection plate for that?
Apparently, she takes that line “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me” rather seriously.
Fashion sense FAIL.
.
Always wear basic black with pearls.
And what was she thinking, wearing white after Labor Day?
That’ll get you to hell faster then just about anything.
raelalt, I think she’s got enough pearl already!
This is all time favourite Fail ever, ever, ever! (Of all times)
What a jerk
Yeah, it must have been quit a jerk.
Witty comeback WIN!
*nominates for BOTW*
come honor face
Santa Claus comes tonight….again
This is OOLLLLDDDD.
Older than your mom? Don’t think so.
Luke 1:35 “The Holy Spirit will come upon you…”
That’s nice, but wipe yourself off once in awhile would you?
I wonder if her name is Eilene?
Goodbye Norma Jean
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Could this be construed as statutory rape?
Serious bukake going on here! Wow!
good thing her dress is white yah?
“Don’t worry, I won’t get any in your hair”, he says…
hahahahaha oh my god
Where can I buy one? I want to base all my xmas decor around it.
Same here, I really want to buy one… this is more of an epic win than a fail.
hahahaha! this is a win in my book!
OH LAWD
Is dat sum bukakke?
Haha, that is so wrong . . .
you can tell she liked that
“OH CUM ALL YE FAITHFUL…”
I think they just did
it is better to give than receive
You got it!
ROFL!
gosh, that’s disgusting, if you understand the fail of course !! ^^
F*ck rule 34….
i guess now is the best time to mention that santa lucia (saint lucy), whom that statue represents, had her eyes ripped out.
so ya i guess there would be a good ‘getting baby batter in the eye’ joke, but im too tired to think of one right now.
Well. Someone missed
ohhh cum all ye faithful…
Nice
looks like bree olson ftw!
HAWT!!!
oh thats so hot. 8========D~~~~~(>,<)
I wonder if the candles were put up by the same preacher who had the potato stuck up his butt?
FIRST
Candle bukakke!
Looks like somone got to exited
Whhhaaaaat!? She was askin’ for it!
She was asking for it from Michael Jackson
That’s what she said
Come all ye faithfull!
this is what we get for celrating christmas in july
so its not an angel, got nothing to do with xmas….
its a Lucia candle holder, the saint Lucia if celebrated in Sweden every year and this year….well, she had a bit mroe fun than she usually has….
Jesus is coming – open your mouth!
I don’t get it. so what the candles melted
Can’t u see?
It looks like someone cummed on her.
Also, she is with her mouth open.
Got it?
Damn, that’s what I was gonna say.
That’s pathetic. What are our minds coming to?
*looks up girls in bikinis*
I’m dreaming of a white christmas…
Ahahaha… now this is epic!
)
depends on your sense of aesthetic, looks nice to me.
She dont like Christmas!
Oh boy…
Good thing it wasn’t yellow wax! Or red. Just.. Wow.
It’s called a “wax shot”!