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*masturbates* pierwszy!
Harold is a DOOSH!!!!
i hate salesmens… blargh !
I need to get these as Christmas gifts for all the people I don’t like.
wonder how many they sold
In for three!
one for the money, two for the show…
i love how he after the fall still keeps japping how safe it is
now thats what I call a sales man!!! He didn’t even seem to be phased.
That’s what I call ‘a slave’
More like death of a salesman.
Definitely low man on the totem pole.
willy jokes will not nest on this line)
Your jokes are inphallible.
japping? i’m unfamiliar with that epithet.
Well, judging that they still make those, and they still sell em.
They actually sold enough to stay in business for 20 years.
“Well, judging that they still make those, and they still sell em.
They actually sold enough to stay in business for 20 years.”
Should be:
“Well, judging that they still make those, and they still sell them,
They must have actually sold enough to stay in business for 20 years.”
“Well, judging that they still make those, and they still sell them,
They must have actually sold enough to stay in business for 20 years.”
Should be:
“Well, judging that they still make those, and they still sell them,
they must have actually sold enough to stay in business for 20 years.”
“Well, judging that they still make those, and they still sell them,
They must have actually sold enough to stay in business for 20 years.”
Should be:
I think repeating yourself is unnecessary
Response time FAIL, raelalt.
Why have you addressed me as ‘raelalt’? May I call you ‘Sarah Palin’?
THANKS, BUT NO THANKS!
sergeantselfevident?!
First there was Captain Obvious, then Admiral Apparent, now there’s you! Is there some kind of Failblog Armed Forces operating?
Was trying to keep the nesting going, BondFan4518. Am I forgiven?
FAILBLOG ARMED FORCES IS FULLY OPERATIONAL.
Replying to the correct comment fail on your part, DrDr.
You do realise that doesn’t make sense.
You should have written:
“Replying to the correct comment FAIL, DrDr.”
Did I reply correctly, Miss?
No.
Definitely not.
NEGATIVE.
DrDr test results:
coherent posting: FAIL
not double posting: FAIL
ability to reply correctly: FAIL
getting the joke: FAIL.
.
Can’t say student doesn’t belong in failblog, but is more
suitably fitted for subject matter rather than commenting.
Soda through the nose hurts, just so you know.
…I beg your pardon?
*snort* she is tellin the troof ya no!!!1!
Thanks for the information Avis, drugs are wrong. They also hurt my nose too.
Nice allusion there, too bad you are deluded.
*gives him the news*
You’re the 3rd fake-me, congratulations on your extreme lack of originality.
You should be flattered, they are the only people who’d want to be like you.
You just can’t help yourself, can you?
Just ignore the troll, he obviously woke up on the wrong side of life.
Perhaps he should go sunbathe…
Heeeeeeeeeee.
Oh, and *hugs!* Hi!
*runs and jumps on dragon* HI!
*hugs*
Oh sorry, I forgot you’re sick… *pats*
I’m feeling better!!
Still coughing, but no fever. Yay!
Actually that wasn’t true, there are the other ’so far up my own ass I can see out my mouth’ drones on FAIL Blog.
FIRST!
FAIL!
You do realise that doesn’t make sense.
You should have written:
[Your second choice could have been: "DrDr is a DOOSH!!!!"]
Speaking to myself in 3rd person? I would be really sad if I did that.
No more so than any of your other comments.
It would be really sad if you continued to breath.
BREATHE
Oh juses, try some breath mints.
I tried to buy some, but you already cleared the shop out.
This gets my vote for “most pathetic comment of the day”.
I’d vote for yours, personally.
*sigh* I’m glad I missed all this trollin’.
Trolling the troll was amusing for a while, but it loses its appeal after a while.
This gets my vote for “most pathetic comment of the day”.
2 people trying to get “most pathetic comment of the day”! Awesome.
Nah. I just see two people incapable of posting an original or funny comment.
Oh yeah, The Failblog Oracle has spoken again!
Oooh, this augers well!
*Eats a second apple today*
I don’t know, he tends to bore me.
I tried that before, Admiral. It didn’t work.
Yep, I’m still here.
But not all there.
Hey, I’m the DoctorDoctor, I’ll diagnose myself, thank you very much. I think I have an extreme case of boredom.
OOOOH SOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
Cyber-bullying, it’s a terrible thing.
Not really.
Advocate of bullying? Not so warm and fuzzy as everyone makes out they are.
Nope, I was saying it really wasn’t so funny.
You should make yourself clearer next time.
…says the guy who just called Avis “everyone”.
A couple of things have been made clearer to me today.
.
When mr sausage only posted masturbation comments, I wasn’t certain if he was actually stupid, in addition to being just obnoxiously adolescent. But he’s
posted more today, and now it’s clear he is.
.
DrDr, with just persistent tedium, has succeeded in making it clear he’s another I find it unentertaining to pay any more attention.
Glad to have had your attention. Feel free to fill out the survey (click on link on my name), and tell me why you were dissatisfied with my performance.
So, Dragon, what’s new?
I have to admit…I find a perverse pleasure in poking the troll. I can’t help it. I find it endlessly hilarious that they are so eager to expose their own ignorance and idiocy.
But, if it bothers the people I actually like, admire, and respect, I will stop.
Oh, don’t stop on my account. It’s amusing to see someone debase themselves so completely. And by someone, I mean the Troll.
Oh, sorry Avis…you weren’t there when I posted!
Not much is new. I finished grading my students’ first papers. I’m slowly getting over this nasty bug. My absolutely torrid and unbelievably steamy love life is the stuff of legends, as always.
.
….Okay, that last part isn’t necessarily entirely true. But I am in the process of writing a naughty scene in my latest novel!
Personally, I enjoy his feminine pink avatar.
Well then! If you need ideas, I’ll be happy to supply a few details from my own torrid and steamy love life. If I can figure out why my computer won’t let me send you an e-mail!
Yay! Back to the private boring chatroom of The Oracle and her doggies.
I’m pretty sure I poked my limit, but I can afford it.
That is very weird. Others from here have been able toemail me! Hmph and harumph!
*snorks @ Loz*
“Toemail”: Definition–the message of pain relayed to your brain, often delayed, when you stub your toe.
OK, first I read “toemail” and thought “Oh boy, someone’s really gonna jump on that one”. Then Dragon immediately realized what she did and came up with a witty reply to cover her sentence structure faux pas. Well done, and thanks for the much needed belly laugh on a very stressful last day of the month (I work with sales people, very annoying sometimes!).
Always happy to help!
*hands crxmanpat a drinkie*
Why are you writing in British?
English, actually.
Why don’t you let someone that actually has Wit reply…. instead of capping the comments at 300 faster…… Why don’t you take the time to think of something good, instead of replying to AS MANY POSTS as you can…… Did they come out wth a new award for the highest % of replies out of the 300 cap? lol
LOL HAHSA :AAPPZ:ZP:LOLO|L|O!OL!Ol1l11lLOL
So funny, you have to laugh at loud at your own drawn-out statements.
N00bish, actually.
Yum, yum, this troll feed is delicious!
OPEN WIDE FOR MY TROLL FEED. Would you like to supersize it? OF COURSE YOU DO!
Scoop it in, Jeeves.
Whatever you two do… please don’t reproduce…
Why, Darwin would be so proud?!
Correction:
Why? Darwin would be so proud!
If by ‘be so proud’ you mean ‘roll over in his grave’ then yeah.
Yes, we’ll call him Dr UberSausage.
Are you saying Darwin was homophobic?
No, she’s saying Darwin had standards.
Straight standards?
No. Intellectual standards.
Standards of quality that you could never live up to.
He intellectually finds homosexuals repulsive!
R U SERIOUS?
No, just you.
Self-Pwnage is the best FAIL there is.
Ah…you poor, innocent lamb. You have obviously seen so little of the world.
it’s spelled pierogi, n00b
“it’s spelled pierogi, n00b”
Should be:
“It’s spelled pierogi, n00b.”
whats your problem dude, nobody needs you adding effing periods to every sentence……….. is…. this… enough… for… you… dr…. dr…. im…. lulz…..
It’s spelled “pierdol się kurwi łbie”
ja loled! xD
хорошо xD
хехе!
xoxo!
x – x – x
o – o –
x – o – o
seven?
Tic Tac Toe?
I called the number on the screen (Which is again 1-800-422-2454.) The lady, “Katie” from some kind of “Asset Management” firm said the company on this video doesn’t exist anymore, and this commercial was from years ago.
(Now I’m sure she’ll get SWAMPED with calls from you!)
You know, posting the same thing FIVE times when nobody seems to care enough to respond constitutes a fail in flying colors.
Now what the HELL makes you say THAT?!?!
Ok that’s it! Get over in the retard line.
He can have my place…
Whoa, just wait a minute there, I’m not standing next to him.
I was thinking we could blow this joint altogether. What do you say?
*takes a puff*
*passes it to raelalt*
And where would we go?
Hee…silly lady. I wasn’t actually talking about going anywhere.
Oh good! I like it here. Even with the Trolls. Of course the Trolls give us targets.
To that happy place
*takes a hit*
first!
second!
I’ve heard of people failing at first!, but first AND second?
Who’s on third?
I dunno
I duuno but I’ll pitch and you catch.
*ahem* “dunno”
(got it the first time)
Don’t worry. We all make mistakes.
*Pats on shoulder*
I love you.
*tender music in background*
I called the number on the screen (Which is again 1-800-422-2454.) The lady, “Katie” from some kind of “Asset Management” firm said the company on this video doesn’t exist anymore, and this commercial was from years ago.
(Now I’m sure she’ll get SWAMPED with calls from you!)
(Oh, and FYI: Comments won’t nest below this level… I think.)
Some girl posted her phone number HERE a while back…I wonder if anyone called her, too.
THAT’S RISKY BUSINESS, POSTING PERSONAL INFORMATION ON PUBLIC FORUMS. I AM 42 AND HAVE TWO KIDS, THEY’RE NAMES ARE DILLON AND KATIE. THEY GO TO SIR FRANCIS DRAKE HIGH SC– DARNIT. I HAVE SCREAMED TOO MUCH.
Are you being sarcastic?
Juses, dude, turn down the caps.
Blasphemy!
Gesundheit.
Bless you!
Hare Krishna! Hare Hare, Krishna Krishna…
THIS IS MY CAPSLOCK, THIS IS MY GUN. ONE IS FOR POSTING THE OTHER’S FOR FUN.
I’ll pass on the offer but “I don’t know” was the third baseman’s name.
Home shopping shows are full of fail.
it’s one big failgasm. And that’s why we love it.
Isn’t this the third failed ladder from a home shopping show? They should have a channel that’s dedicated to ladders only. It would be hilarious.
and so is this site.
You call them yet?
I called the number on the screen (Which is again 1-800-422-2454.) The lady, “Katie” from some kind of “Asset Management” firm said the company on this video doesn’t exist anymore, and that this commercial was from years ago.
(I’m sure she’s getting SWAMPED with calls from you!)
Wow! Way to overfail, my friend.
Ass set management? *masturbates*
that one should be called Carrier Fail.
yeah … ‘it’s totally safe once it’s locked …’
phhhfffrrrt.
yeah. you know i really didn’t see that coming?
and i agree. ‘Carrier fail’ is probably better, lol.
I think I’d go for “Career Fail” myself…
lol fail XD very safe
gravity WIN
FIRST
looks like we have the first D-Bag of the thread.
Really? The first?
NOPE
nicely done.
Darwin Award 2008/09 Nominee Fail.
He didn’t lose his ability to reproduce, so he is right not being a nominee.
While he may not have lost the ABILITY to reproduce, once that aired, his chances of GETTING to reproduce were greatly diminished.
Diminished, but not gone completely. Case closed.
Agreed. This is Darwin Honorable Mention fail.
I’m with Avis. His chances of reproducing after making acting like an idiot on tv are much much smaller.
Please understand the Darwin Awards before commenting.
Uh, have you known any women that watched home shopping
channels? They may not be so picky.
Very good point.
Outrageous generalisation, I thought society was beyond prejudice.
Obviously yours is beyond humor.
LOL!!
WIN!!!
GAY!!!
HOMOPHOBE!!!
There’s always the sympathy vote.
Whatcha wearing Avis? All black;)
Ummmm…. nooooo….. not all black.
Did you call them??? What did she say to YOU?
I called the number on the screen (Which is again 1-800-422-2454.) The lady, “Katie” from some kind of “Asset Management” firm said the company on this video doesn’t exist anymore, and that this commercial was from years ago.
(I’m sure she’s getting SWAMPED with calls from you!)
lol! Sorry Avis…just trying to tip my hand that you and I live in the same place! Really, I’m not a stalker! Just a chi-town gal who thoroughly enjoys the humor of FailBlog!
Then it’s entirely possible we’ve already met. Click on my name, you should be able to figure out if we have.
*is jealous*
I wish I could meet Avis!
Any time you’re gonna be in my neck of the woods, let me know.
*is slightly awed and embarrassed*
Oh, piffle. You’re cool, and I think having a cup of coffee would be an absolute hoot.
*sigh* Alas, no. But I’ll see you around the FailBlog:)
the problem was he didn’t have it locked….HAHAHA!!!
I thought it might have just jumped out of gear
fail reference win!
Seconded.
roflcopter
LOLcompter landed!
Are you by any chance from Compton?
No way. He has access to a computer.
Then he must be compensating for something.
His post certainly wasn’t compelling.
He’s out of comptrol — he should exercise greater restraining or governing influence over, check, counteract, restrain, regulate, and govern his LOL.
That something is comprised of something complicated.
And will end up on the compost heap.
…having completely and utterly FAILed.
We can make a compilation of all those FAILs.
Completely DrDr.
It is comparable. But not compulsory.
Whilst being both complimentary and complementary
Oh, that’s very compassionate!
Comprehensively so, I believe.
It’s so nice to have compatriots here!
Yes, we’re very compatible!
*commiserates tonight’s sad state of affairs, re. the complete asshat trolls*
*stuffs trolls in the trash compactor*
Please comply in completing this companionable FAILstring!
You won’t hear me complaining.
The power of Failblog compels thee!
Er…I mean, us.
Failblogging will heretofore be compulsory.
And we shall all be complicit in that.
They call it FAIL Blog.
And I call you Dr. Failbad.
Your name suits your comments.
Tame suits your wit.
Admirable suits your burn
NOW it’s locked…
…oh shi-!
HAHAHA always love to see home shopping fails when they quickly put up a stock photo of the product while they help the failure to the hospital
$200 for this piece of crap? I can get a couple of bamboo shoots and ask that one Chinese guy to hoist it up instead, thank you very much.
…Is that supposed to be racist?
Think back to older fails. Waaaayyyyy back. C’mon you remember that one don’t you?
Hence, “that one Chinese guy,” as opposed to something more general. Besides, I’ve got Chinese great-great-great-grandparents myself, among other things.
Like the ability to bore people with your family history.
Doesn’t stand up to your ability to alienate others.
I am rather pleased with that trait.
Nobody cares.
Good for them, I don’t care either.
From pathetic to apathetic in .2 seconds.
Is that a world record?
Nobody cares.
Instantly pathetic and apathetic.
And not a sympathetic ear for him to whine in.
Why do you have to get so personal
WAAAH!
*yawn*
You are not breathing enough, take some deep breaths.
You’d have to leave the room before anyone here dares to take any deep breaths.
I cannot believe you are so deluded that you think I would be in the same room as you. Don’t flatter yourself.
And yet, here you are.
Yes, I am here, but I am not in the same room as you are. I am posting comments on a website, feel free to dream I am, I don’t blame you, it’s not every day you get to talk to someone like me.
Thank God for small favors.
Yes it is but usually it is just to put a quarter in his cup.
Did you call them??? What did she tell you?
I called the number on the screen (Which is again 1-800-422-2454.) The lady, “Katie” from some kind of “Asset Management” firm said the company on this video doesn’t exist anymore, and that this commercial was from years ago.
(I’m sure she’s getting SWAMPED with calls from you!)
Quarters! Pah! Sterling, thanks.
I think Pence will suffice.
This is starting to feel like penance.
We’re irate over this penance.
You’re a pirate for penance.
Hmm…we need to lift our moods. Let’s go see “The Pirates of Penzance”.
Guys, leave DrDr alone
I feel bad at all the negativity. Isn’t FAILblog supposed to be a celebration of all things positive?
… it’s not?
Well. Still!
No one called them but you, ENG!
can someone add the “FailBlog” logo and submit this movie:
youtube.com/watch?v=Fpqbfmi3trU
it’s an epic and the blog never submit it
cuz i dun wanna put the logo on it 
[]’s
I love the how it clicks and settles as he’s walking around it. It’s like a little warning, a foreshadowing of things to come, as if it said “You know what I’ve always liked? Swan dives.”
Click, well spotted… it seems the ladder has malicious intent!
“it’s totally safe once it’s locked…”
That’s what she said!
Worst “That’s what she said!” set-up EVER
He gets an F- for this one.
I give him a Q-.
If he’d only used the CAPS-LOCK, his joke would have reached from A-Z.
Wat a dick
yah wat a fackin duck
QUACK QUACK
WOW, WHAT A NEW AND TOPICAL VIDEO! I HAVE SURELY NEVER SEEN THIS ANY WHERE BEFORE!!1
NEW RESEARCH REVEALS SARCASM MORE EFFECTIVE IN CAPITALS!
FILM AT ELEVEN!
WOW THAT WAS RANDOM!
CAN I STOP SHOUTING NOW?
WHAT?
BOND ASKED IF IT’S OKAY TO STOP SHOUTING NOW!!!1!!eleven!!
ok. it’s all good.
EH?! CAN’T HERE YOU AMONGST ALL THIS SHOUTING!
Can you there anyone yet, DrDr?
I THINK I’LL STOP NOW!
There, that’s better.
WHAT?!
DrDr is not rDrR.
*SNORK!*
Ow.
You owe me a new keyboard, hunny.
Clever.
Well, I would assume that you could have watched on… I don’t know…. The Home Shopping Network!?!
Really, well you don’t seem to have realized what caps lock does yet either.
In all fairness, his handle is DanYELL.
Danyell just pushes the button and after he releases it, it locks.
(Then he brings his blockcapo on fallblog and locks in a fall.)
IT’S JUST THE WAY I TALK. THEY ARE MAKING FUN OF ME FOR IT.
In Soviet QVC, ladder works on you!
In Soviet Russia, everything is within reach… except diplomacy.
As Georgia has learnt.
According to western media
In Soviet Russia, western media is east!
KILLERWIT IS NEITHER.
Sorry, Sad Sack, you just made it self-evident you’re an idiot;
should have kept that private.
It is better to keep your mouth shut, and people think you’re an idiot then to speak, and prove it.
Okay, here’s another cliche for you:
Physician heal thyself.
I saw some advice on a billboard the other day we could give him…
He’s heard that so many time he probably thinks it’s a compliment.
Sometime I think I am honoured to receive so much airtime on FAIL Blog. Anyway, times for me to go.
What a shame.
You’ll just have to try and live on, only time will tell.
*and there was much rejoicing*
Yay!
Lulled into their false sense of security, DrDr plans a surprise attack. He knows only too well his times will come, before too long.
STAND DOWN DRDR. THE NEWS OF YOUR ATTACK HAS BEEN TRANSMITTED TO FAILBLOG ARMY. ADVISE: DO NOT ATTACK.
I think this is just an overabundance of evidence for a point already proven.
I AM NO PRIVATE, I AM A SERGEANT.
In Soviet Russia, the ladder CLIMBS you!!
This guy should get together with the other home shopping host who fell. They could trade war stories.
Which guy? The horse guy or the kitana guy? Wow, they almost have enough for a convention.
That would be the most accident-prone convention of all time! I would pay THREE MONEYS to see that.
LOL what a tard! EPIC FAIL!
I think I speak for everyone when I say I saw that one coming from the minute I found out it was a ladder.
Having it posted on Failblog also gives something of a hint.
You found out it was a ladder? When did that happen?
Not that fun. AS IT IS PAINFUL FFS.
Glorious.. I think I’ve seen this before.
Didja-view it elsewhere?
Maybe you saw it with your family-ah?
“but.. it is very safe to operate”
‘Cept you hafta know HOW.
I love how even after he falls on his face, he says, that it was his fault, not the ladder.
its no little giant
failblog sucks dick….nothing is new any more…FAILBLOG SUCKS AND SHOVE FAILBOAT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS
Up your MOM’S.
*masturbates*
Ecclesiastes. 1:9 “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun.”
Several thousands of years old, that. So yeah, well done on being the first person to ever make that observation!
” Once it’s locked it’s okay! ” lol learn to lock it dude
He must’ve walked under it before getting on.
The one day he forgets to bring his four leaf clover into work…
You see, they were after his lucky charms.
Now he sees stars.
*moons*
*clubs*
*green clovers*
*rainbows*
*cries*
*enjoys lapdance so much more*
*takes all Khan’s money*
You’re no Khan artist.
Those who Khan, do. Those who Khan’t… FAIL.
That …. was …. so …. COOL…LOL
Oh, God, Harold! I hope you’re okay.
Wow, Harold is quite the professional !! He never once said “Ouch” or “@#$^*
” but kept going on with the show. And quick thinking by the director too, he cut away almost instantly !!
But they’re still DOUCHES !
What I want to know is: Who _records_ a home shopping network? I’m glad they did, because these are funny, but…why?
I called the number on the screen. The lady, “Katie” from some kind of “Asset Management” company said the company on this video doesn’t exist anymore, and the commercial was from years ago.
(Now I’m sure she’ll get SWAMPED with these calls!)
Go manage your own assets.
Know what I mean? Say no more, say no more!
*Nudge nudge, wink wink*
ENG — Failblog places a limit these on how many comments may be posted to a Fail. You’ve posted the same thing six times. Stop the SWAMPing already
“ENG — Failblog places a limit these on how many comments may be posted to a Fail. You’ve posted the same thing six times. Stop the SWAMPing already”
Should be:
“ENG — FAIL Blog places a limit these on how many comments may be posted to a FAIL. You’ve posted the same thing six times. Stop the SWAMPing already.
“ENG — FAIL Blog places a limit these on how many comments may be posted to a FAIL. You’ve posted the same thing six times. Stop the SWAMPing already.
Should be:
“ENG — FAIL Blog places a limit these on how many comments may be posted to a FAIL. You’ve posted the same thing six times. Stop the SWAMPing already.”
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
Hahahahahahaha
You silly jelloid octopi.
Yeah, COMPLETELY safe.
You could tell it was an older clip. Check out the 80’s hair and dress on the woman. Yikes!
My neighbor has one, and it is actually safe BUT you must close the latches properly, which is a little hard to do. The man in the video didn’t do that; he probably thought he had, but there is a trick to it.
The trick is to read the instructions.
Nah, with enough trial and error you’ll figure it out yourself. And if you’re lucky you’ll still have your face intact.
If you’re even luckier, you get a new, better face!
OPTIMISM!
wow. my aunt bought one of those.
Make sure you are in her will.
He’s like a machine. Didn’t miss a beat. “Okay, now it’s locked,” falls, “I didn’t have it locked.” BUY NOW! It may be a paradox. It’s perfectly safe when you lock it, but it’s impossible to lock.
that guy ate his face into the ladder lmaoooo fail ladder
My favorite part is his last comment…”keep calling in for it.”
his last “its really safe to operate” sounded like he died a little inside
ummmm yeah i need about 5 stitches in my head but uhhhh…its SAFE AS HELL!
lol We’ve got one of these. They’re very sturdy, and yeah, they ARE safe– but as he noticed, you DO have to lock the joints before you go on it. XD
*boof* Actually i didn’t have it locked
no shit sherlock
It’s so convenient when the salesman proves something to be an unsafe waste of money.
Всем привет! Я тут новенький. Примите в вашу компанию?