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Delicious Sausage
STFU Man now I’m hungry. Gawwwwwd.
manburger?
Manwich?
Hommeous?
rediculously awesome comment!
I’m green with envy!
^ A little too desperate here. ^
Soylent green?
Soylent Green is Butcher people??
WITH CHEESE.
With Soylent Green!!!
Are you kidding? Have you seen the additives in that stuff?
its Human
Who’s human?
He’s trying to say someone owns this Human.
No, its green coloring #5, nasty stuff.
And who does this nasty green coloring belong to?
Looks like it came from Vienna.
the Soylent Manufacturing Co. of Walla Walla Washington
Green color #5 is made of unicorns, which is why we should all ban soylent green.
We have a Hacker Funeral Parlor here………………..no kidding! Will post pic someday here.
I work at a funeral home…..
uhh… I don’t know if I should ask… but… as a butcher?
*room goes silent*
Where’s mr. s.a.u.s.a.g.e. when you really need him?
He’ll be here in a sec, if you mention someone’s name on Failblog they instantly show up.
Hm?
BRING OUT SATAN, LET’S DO THIS.
WUT??
Your comment contained no additives or thickeners, just organic goodness.
I thought guys liked thickeners.
lol
There’s enough thick humor on this site as is.
I tend to bee particular in my choice of thickeners.
AHHH me too!!!! brb gonna go get some cookies =D
Lol… I used to live near this place.
did you die near it?
Yes. Apparently it was a Pet Cemetery.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I don’t want to be buried in a pet cemetery.
Gabba gabba hey!
Yo, Joey! R.I.P.P,* dude!
___
*Rock in Punk Peace
PUNK ROCK DOES NOT HAVE PEACE.
You need to be sedated.
that is an unfortunately named funeral home.
No $h!t, Sherlock!
A complete absence of excrement indeed, my dear Watson.
Wondrous remedies exist to relieve such difficulties, my dear Watson.
My dear Watson, might I suggest some laxatives for your constipation?
Alimentary my dear Watson. Alimentary.
^ WIN.
Oh, but until you try out their on-site restaurant…you haven’t lived!
How’s the service?
They hire fast zombies.
The services are over in 10 minutes? Well done, like their steaks.
It’s just the owner’s name
On the plus side, at least you won’t have to ask “Am I gone?”
“I’m not dead yet! I’m getting better!”
“You’re not fooling anyone, you know.”
YET ANOTHER HOLY GRAIL QUOTE. YOU’D THINK AFTER A WHILE WE’D QUOTE SOME OF THE OTHER MONY PYTHON MOVIES.
Loz’s quotes were relevenat to the topic at hand.
*giant hammer labelled FAIL swings down from side of stage and hits sergeantselfeveident on the head*
was that Maxwell’s siver (fail) hammer?
TERRIBLE PERSON! NOBODY CARES!
….. Wait what?
We DO quote other Python sketches. Pay more attention! *slaps*
“This Parrot is no more.”
shut up bignose
“My nipples explode with the light!”
“I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars!”
I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off onto the living room carpet.
Stop that! That’s silly!
Not as silly as hovercrafts full of eels.
Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!
Undertaker: Well you can bury her, burn her or dump her”
Later in the sketch:
Undertaker: I THINK WE’VE GOT AN EATER!
Fred: I’ll get the oven on!
Man: Um, er…excuse me, um, are you… are you suggesting we should eat my mother?
(pause)
Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She’d be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)
Who are you callin’ bignose?
Mr. Luxury Yacht.
I’m a LUMBERJACK and I”m o.k…….
I work all night and I sleep all day!
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!
I came in here for an argument!
Sorry this is Abuse, Arguments are down the hall and to the left.
Next to the fasting fail.
Which starts promptly at noonnight.
And now for something completely different…
A man with three buttocks.
lol…I actually live near “Amigone” Funeral home…it’s so freakin hilarious every day as I drive past it…
That’s how I wanna go!
Go quickly, chop chop!
PROMOTED TO CORPORAL CORPSE.
“For when one grave just isn’t enough” – Butchers
“Because no dogs happier than a Butchers Dog”
85th!
YOU WERE FIFTH.
And what am I, chopped liver?
Oh fuzz, you should know by now that you’re so much more than just chopped liver to us.
You’re chopped liver AND onions!
No, he’s foie gras.
no, no, no… you’re much classier… you’re Pate!!!
Rumors of my butchering have been greatly exaggerated.
(And not to mince meats, but pâté sounds more refined than something from a butcher — I think it would require a butchest.)
*Twains*
Mark?
No, Lionel.
And never the Mark and Lionel twains shall meet.
I prefer Shania Twain’s.
Did you know she hates tunafish and is allergic to mayonnaise?
Are you saying that she has never had a tuna sandwich and tomato soup meal? That explains so much.
She’s never hearted a Huckabee, poor thing.
Coyote, have you heard tell of this newfangled contraption called a dvd player? If so, I have a good movie for you.
(Oh, I loathed that movie!)
The Lionel Twain! Say your damn pronouns!
Umm…and which pronoun would that be, exactly?
*watches as the original joke sails blissfully over hammer(’s)head*
Oh no no, I got it. I had a brain fail and forgot THE is not a
pronoun.
I think I feel a halibut coming my way.
Either way…. Peter Sellers is my favorite chinaman.
And Truman Capote makes for a pretty good cow on wall.
Mmmm parody humor.
Hee…because you have redeemed yourself, I will spare you the halibut.
Thats good, Id hate to have to bludgeon myself with my own
fail hammer. A hammer, might I add, that I never knew I had.
RED SNAPPER.
Is this halibut, that is so often called upon, named Eric?
(The Capote reference gives me an excuse to ask to be excused for misspelling a Boo Radley reference elsewhere in this thread. So EXCUSE ME for asking to be excused.)
*checks comedic license*
C A T
DogLicenseYou figured it out, didya, Scout?
Clement Moore
Choo choo.
I hereby summon my comment, which has NO swearing, for once, to show up from the fail ether….
Darn.
Nobody jams anything down Fuzz’ throat without his permission, and a safety hand gesture.
MY ROFLCOPTER GOES SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI
Why?
Its broken
Have you even got a license for that thing?
*ponders*
*ponders*
Ohhhh…. I see what you did there…
‘Free meatloaf at every service’
Why he feels he must sing “Bat out of Hell” at every service is a mystery to me.
♪ So now I’m praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don’t think that I can really survive ♪
at every service? i thought there was only one Meatloaf? ( bat outta hell) hehe…..” can i have a foot piece pls?”
that’s a rather tender subject *munch munch*
“What? Meatloaf again?!?!”
That’s how you know when it’s ready. When your oldest child comes downstairs and says that.
I say that quite frequently. My dad’s normally good taste in music is marred by his love of Meatloaf.
I’m not much for Meatloaf (both kinds) but I do like “Paradise by the
Dashboard Light”.
Hee…when I was 17, my then-boyfriend and I got caught in flagrate delicto by the cops in the back of my mum’s Volvo station wagon. And–I swear I am not making this up–that song was on the radio.
A moment of history never to be forgotten.
D’oh!
*smacks self with the halibut*
“I could have been a judge, but I never had the Latin. Never had sufficent of it to get beyond the judging exams. They’re noted for their rigor you know? Very rigorous exams. People come staggering out saying, “Yee Gads what a rigorous exam!”
Funny, I say the same thing after my yearly physical with the glove.
.:shock:
I fail at smileys.
Yea, well, I failed at super script the other day, though I’m still testing whether it was my fail or Failblog fiddling with the code.
I’m pretty sure it’s Failblog.
Oo! I can blame Failblog, then!
(translation???)
i got it “upon to blaze transgression”
I don’t particularily care for either kind of meatloaf: the food or the singer.
His name is Robert Paulson.
In death, a member of Project Mayhem has a name.
He should stick to acting rather than singing!
*snuggles into pob’s b1tch tits*
“pob’s b1tch tits”? That’s not another “Americans are fat” joke, is it?
*doesn’t care, snuggles with Loz anyway*
AMERICANS ARE ALL FAT, STUPID, EGOTISTICAL CLAUDS.
At least we can spell clods.
And we know where the caps lock key is
I’m not Claud, I’m Floy.
He prefers to be called, “Mr Loaf”.
ooh, ooh Mr Loaf, over here! Sir, what won’t you do for love, sir?
That.
For cryin’ out loud
I didn’t even know he was in prison.
Rest in pieces
Rest in pies.
I prefer pi
♫
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out,
I got people beggin’ for my top 8 spaces
I know pi to a thousans places,
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces!
♫
mm…pie… *drools Homer Simpson style*
and they must be “the best pies in London”:)
Or Seville.
*pokes the pie*
You poke, you pay.
Pokes the pie? *masturbates*
This lesbian funeral home possesses more traits culturally typed as “masculine.”
lawl
Comment WIN!
i’m ashamed at myself for laughing at that
wait a tic…
no i’m not
Took me a second…
Damn! I need to read all the comments before posting.
They are putting Tomboy funeral home out of business.
Does it have a softball team?
BOOOOOOH!
Face of?
You. Are. Not. Alone.
If I was a giant, all-knowing face in a jar, I’d be a bit less bloody vague.
I’m just saying.
sounds like the Bradleyboy
Well…..you already got this I’ll leave you alone bunny rabbit.
Add ubiquitous ellipsis
cannibalism WIN!!! people in failblog clearly need to have a positive outlook in life.
Because nothing is more positive than a cannibalism WIN!!1
Little known fact: this funeral home is affiliated with two others–Baker Funeral Home and Candlestick Maker Funeral Home.
*groans*
I can’t wait for election day to rub a dumb dub.
They are putting George Boy fail tub out of business.
and behind the trees on other side is Macdonalds… -M- we loving Butcher!
I think Sweeny Todd frequents this place. And that lovely pie lady who has a shop on Fleet Street.
how do these icons next to my name work? o_O
I often wondered that too
they rape u!
In Soviet Russia…
Oh wait…
I’ll get my coat.
Socialist sexual predator WIN?
In Soviet Russia, the butchers Plant you!
I think you’re thinking about the avatar in which case gravatar.com. If not then I think I thought wrong about what you were thinking.
I think you’re onto something there.
I think, therefore I FAIL.
Shouldn’t that be “I don’t think, therefore I FAIL”?
Well, if I could have said that if I wanted to ruin the running joke.
I thought it was a thinking joke…
Hee…! I think I fail on multiple levels!
Which takes quite some skill, thinking about it.
CONFIRMED. DRAGONWRITER FAILS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS. NEWS AT 11.
You can’t be a confirmed idiot until you’ve had a baptism by fire.
I thought you’d never ask…
*FOOOOOOM!!s Mr. CapsLock into a wee pile of
crispy, smouldering lower-case letters*
I don’t disagree altogether, but I do have a degree in psychology. And I am quite prepared to confirm that capslocked little self-dented-privates is a certifiable dumbbell.
Ah, I see we have a simul-same opinion rendering. Dumb-ashed case closed.
I missed the ceremony. All that’s left is a smoking hole.
And this being a non-smoking blog. Even post-cremation he’s a dumba$$.
Or maybe a cremation by water?
Theres a funeral home in my area called “Goodbody’s Funeral Home”
OMG! This is my home town which also had a pharmacy called “Jolly Drugs”
At least they tell it like it is back there.
Liar
OMG! That’s what they said to me at Franz Kafka International Airport.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/pragues_franz_kafka_international
excellent!
With Butcher Funeral Home, those parts of Bessie we can’t make into some imitation food will be treated with the utmost care and respect she deserves.
Cue Soylent Green jokes!
*Horrified*
I used to drive past this place on a regular basis. Always made me laugh.
http://www.therecord.com/community/funeral_homes/fh91.html
xD now that’s great fail dude !!!! ^^
Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies, anyone?
Movie win.
BUTCHER, GET BACK!