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Cheezburger Network Blog
Primo.
Makes me wonder if my vote would really count!
He’s a DEAD cert to win!
He has ancestral endorsements!
Is that sign hovering over the ground?
Yeah… grandpa Schellinger obviously hit Jesus up for a favor to make his grandson’s campaign supernaturally good.
Ah, Juses, so kind and considerate.
{Birds won’t nest beyond this post)
Your comment’s stictly for the birds, man.
*flings a quail at POB*
. . . That’s right, I just flipped you the bird!
Ooooo, just wait until Avis gets here…
*Dick Cheney shows up with rifle*
*Dick Cheney accidentally shoots Macavity in the face*
Dude, I think you owe the Vice President an apology.
:O
*triggers a nuclear strike beacon in retaliation*
Shit shit guys somebody’s shooting at us!
Itz Chinah!!!11!11!
Damn them!!
No, it was Ellen Ripley.
(Xenomorphs won’t nest below this level.)
*I fail at below level comments. I also am a lifeless n00b.
I am here for you to tease, feel free too do so*
stoned kids loves to see the comment pyramid grow.
bbbbbbggggrrrrrooowwwww
I know. They should totally make a hat for people who love Juses.
Where is my hat?
God nicked it.
So, did he steal it, or cut it a tiny bit?
Both. God stole the hat because he liked it, then God put a nick in it so no-one else would want it. Cheeky Devil.
So the hat has stigmata?
It’s holey.
^^^^^
The definition of a good pun.
A good pun (n) 1. September.
???
here are some appropriate bad puns
Artix’s OFFICAL list of things NOT to be said arround the UNDEAD
1) That is just JAW DROPPING
2) Something evil is A FOOT
3) Keep a stif UPPER LIP
4) Use a little ELBOW GREASE
5) … and that is how you get A-HEAD
6) That guy is a SPINELESS coward
um, BotW?
Wait, what? How is this a burn?!
u cant burn or nuthin
I GOT CIPRO
I nicked it.
Is that GreendWood cementery?
Firs…
Firs… econd. Yep.
Can everyone please stop duplicating Firs posts
Can everyone please stop duplicating Firs posts
FIRST! C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-OMBOBREAKER!
Are you posting from a shaky bus?
You misspelled “short.”
Hail… you fail…
…is mirders?
It is. Think of those poor asses, mirdered for their fir.
Oh no, not the asses! Some of my best friends are asses!
Oh bunneh noes! Some of my fabric of friends call me lapin!
POB has a pet Lapis lozuli.
You are an absolute gem.
It’s all in the setting.
Want to take a lap around the dairy with me?
Fuzz did tell me about a place with good service and great milkshakes.
But that will bring all the boys to the yard…!
Its different… one’s in caps!! =P fail..
LINDSAY! ITS TRUE!
Lindsay?
*masturbates*
Masturbates?
*fornicates*
why? she’s ugly…
CAUSE WE’RE NOT GAY
ALLO!!!!!! I AM LINDSEY LOHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, even she could spell her name right.
That was allo blow.
SILENCE! I KILL YOU!
*calls suicide hotline*
haha Achmed the Dead Terrorist
*hands you a milkshake and a bag of Whopper candies*
OMG I’m sixth..!!
OMG!!!
You are teh unlose!
/makes note on calendar of this joyus event
I already did !!
That campaign is DOA.
Drunk on absinthe?
Possibly.
All is right in the world when you and I are nesting together.
I concur, m’lady. *smooches*
*puts up another privacy curtain*
green fairies????
where??
At the bottom of the garden, of course! Where else would they be?
flying around the Red Windmill
what the hell? looks photoshopped.
failblog is boring these days.
That’s your pinyon.
Yeah, he’s just nuts.
Nah, Schellenger indeed was a real person who ran for gov here in Indiana. He lost in the primary to a Hillary Clinton look-a-like.
He’s going after the all important swing-ghost vote.
he hasn’t a ghost of a chance?
Dead voters? This picture must have been taken in the Chicago area then.
I think most of the votes that put Bush in office in 2000 were those of dead people
at least brain dead.
I’m willing to give people who voted for Bush in 2000 a little leeway, as they might not have known what they were getting themselves into.
Now the people who voted for Bush in 2004…
Too bad no one could come up with anything better than John Kerry as an alternative. I might not have voted for Bush then.
I would vote for Bush again if I could. What is that puss Obama going to do if Iran tries something? Nothing. Just like Clinton when they bombed the U.S.S. Cole. God forbid a president kill some bad guys once in a while.
Right. When Clinton was briefed that Osama was a threat hebombed him. He missed. When Bush was briefed Osama was a threat, he ignored him, and Osama bombed us. He didn’t miss. So Bush goes after al-Qaeda in Iraq. There were no al-Qaeda in Iraq at the time. And now there are. Great work.
.
I’m just glad Bush-approving people like you are finally in the minority in this country.
Why vote for a dead man? ‘Cause they have the LEAST chance of screwing you over!
He’s got my vote
It has been done before.
Your mom’s been done before.
Detlef,
I, on behalf of the whole Failblog community, would like to extend our sincerest wishes and ask YOU-TO-SHUT-THE-*FUC|(*-up
ROFL, that was funny
Hey, John Ashcroft lost to a dead man while running for office, it could happen again
Looks like somebody misunderstood the message of P. Diddy’s “Vote or Die” PSA campaign.
the dead are a tough sell on healthcare
Dead man running for the government invisible? He must be an ex-governor.
And still, voting for the zombie is better than the other candidates!
Zombie, zombie, zombie-eh-eh.
Argh, that song again! Did you have to let it linger?
London calling to the zombies of death . . .
Quit holding out, and draw another breath.
I wonder if he’s a “Night of the Living Dead” slow-type zombie, or a “28 Days Later” fast, stuff-of-my nightmares zombie. I wouldn’t mind the first in office, if I had to make a choice.
What about “Thriller” dancing-in-the-street zombies?
Now THOSE would get my vote any day of the week!
I actually thought that Cillian Murphy was creepier than ANY zombie…
He was even SCARIER in Batman Begins!
He’s waaaaaaaaay up at the top of my “Creepy Guy Actor” list, right alongside Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, and James Spader.
I was terrified of Christopher Walken, too, until the SNL skits and this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMZwZiU0kKs
That’s pretty good. But it could use more cowbell.
Oh, you didn’t even watch it, I posted it thirty seconds ago! Busted.
LOL, now, that, is, a classic.
But you’re right, more cowbell would enhance its charm.
(Actually, I have seen it; I love Walken, and that video is the Weapon of Choice = bomb.)
Ok, you win this round.
*observes a moment of silence for Paul Newman, who was in NO way on a Creepy Guy Actor list*
Schellenger’s campaign slogan: “Don’t Fear the Reaper!”
I am Lady Razzle and I endorse this message.
Don’t forget Steve Buscemi, even though I think hes a great actor, he puts the Eep! in Creep!
No, I have a great pity for him after “Ghost World”, don’t you?
Oh I love that movie
He’s ugly, but not “creeeeeeeepy”. He doesn’t give me that “Oh, EWW!” feeling just from looking at him. Not like James Woods does, or Peter Weller.
*shudders*
Oh NOW I remember this guy’s name, I’m terrified of him, probably because he played the T-1000 and ruined the X-Files for me: Robert Patrick. Yikes.
You’d better not be bad-mouthing my fellow countryman.
He happens to be a dear friend of my granny’s sister’s nephew’s godson.
Really? Well kiss my blarney stone and call me Lucky!
Sorry Loz. The verdict is in. He may be a very good actor, but he’s totally creepy to look at. :p
Those guys definitely top the list, but you cannot forget Willem Dafoe.
Point! He’s on my list, too.
Did you know that the Green Goblin’s mask in the first Spider-Man movie was based on Willem Dafoe’s face?
Yup. My brother (who is a steadicam operator in Hollywood) did some of the camerawork for that movie. He said Dafoe was actually pretty cool.
Just curious, has your brother ever done camerawork on a movie Kevin Bacon was in?
Heh…no, I don’t think so.
Hey hey hey, don’t be dissing Dr. Daniel Jackson – without him, we wouldn’t have the Stargate Program!
I just looked him up on IMDb and it killed my browser. Man, I am not having good luck with the Irish this morning!
The luck o’ the Irish is with you for as long as you refrain from scorning one.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. (And if she’s a redhead, it would be better for you if you’d never been born!)
Hehe, you’re lucky I’m not a redhead then
Come as you are, m’lady, and I’ll be in nirvana.
You’re such a lounge act.
I’m just glad you don’t think I’m a negative creep.
What’s your name?
(Schellinger.)
Who’s your daddy?
(Schellinger. He dead.)
Is he dead like me?
.
Has he taken
(Has he taken)
Any time
(Any time to show)
To show you what you need to be dead?
.
Tell it to me slowly.
Tell you what?
I really want to know –
It’s the time of the voting season for Zombies.
I think zombies are non-voting felons, at best…
Well let me tell you ’bout the way she looked
The way she’d act and the colour of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool
Her eyes were clear and bright
But her brain’s not there
Ahh…I see what you did, there.
And on another subject … POB is double nesting .. first with Loz, then with Fake loz!!1
Slimy ba$tard!
Well, which one did I smooch?
You mean you don’t know?! Oh no, it’s worse than I thought! Intervention time!
Do you know what a rhetorical question is?
No, whats that? Something like the Delphi Oracle?
A Rhettorical question is when you frankly don’t give a damn about the answer.
Gone With The WIN!
…geez, thanks. You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut.
Well I just wanted to be sure ‘you’ knew who your were nesting with. Fake loz might of had you fooled! :snicker:
You impugn my honor, sir! I happen to be a Loz connoisseur!
He also impugns the English language! Go get him, POB!
umm … Dragon? … Igor?
Hey! I’m not Loz! Don’t try any of that nesting stuff with me!
Whew, saved! … sorta
:p Cheeky git.
I love it when you use your tongue.
And how can I be the git when you’re the Geologist In Training?
Hahaha. Oh, you’re instantly forgiven.
Oh goodie, now I can get back to admiring your mountains and valleys!
Watch out, I think the Earth just moved.
Well something hard just moved, I can tell you that.
Can you give us a hint?
There are politicians in the afterlife?
*screams until daddy stops*
Yeah, and what’s worse, they ALL wear child predator gloves.
i bet they stoled the lolrus’s bukkit!
Well, Mark Foley does at least.
Who’s that? I know a Mark Foley.
*runs screaming into the thread hugs Loz and then runs away again*
That was the most spectacular hug-and-run I’ve ever had!
Mark Foley, the congressman who was caught fiddling with his pages.
Do they is f*cking?
WTF
He might not be so imporant…
otherwise I would say: Got a bug to report!
http://www.scheiZe.net
Looks like the cemetery in Murphysboro.
Proof that the American government has gone to pot… they are electing dead folk. lol
No, if they’d gone to pot the government would be too mellow to do much of anything
Actually, we in Missouri DID elect a dead man. We elected Mel Carnahan to the senate three weeks after he died in a car crash.
Trust me…it was preferable to the alternative. He was running against Ashcroft.
Yeah, I’d take a dead guy over Ashcroft any day of the week!
Maybe a fail most places, but in Phila PA being dead doesn’t prevent you from voting.
Wow, I thought /I/ spent too much time online..
Loz, do you have a life, like, at all? You have like 25 posts on this page alone..
Actually wait, there’s like ten of you doing this.
*headdesk*
x2 / a2 − y2 / b2 = 1
Have some hyperbola, Mr. e than a.
Superscript fail.
i’d say politics win. Remember that gubernatorial candidate who got elected because no one liked the opponent, even though the first one died not a week or two before the election?
election sounds like erection
Clill Binton on November 2004: “What a lidiculous erection!”
(Just whip your flerds and you’ll pet the gicture
)
Cool! I’d vote for this guy. Can’t do any worse then we are now!
WilliamCA
GOD I wish I knew who posted this, so I could thank them for it.
Kurt K
*sigh*
sign WIN
it’s hard to see, but tears are falling from the statue. because politics makes everyone cry
They might have put the sign there since it is the dead center of the town.
Actually… Schellinger was a mentor of mine while I was in school- very good guy. Not a politician either, just someone trying to help this pitiful state of Indiana.
Unfortunately after the party asked him to run a career politician changed her mind and decided to run against him. Basically, she rode on Hilary Clinton’s coat-tails. The thing about Indiana is, its still pretty primeval so the thought of a *shock* woman leader would get votes based on name only.
That and you had Republicans trying to throw off Democrat primaries here for the Presidential race, therefore voting who they deemed the weaker candidate. Jill Thompson won by a few thousand.
Now that Hilary’s out, she disappeared. I haven’t a clue why the incumbant governor is doing any advertising as he’s a shoo-in since his “opponent” has no money and the campaign is a FAIL by itself.
This reminds me that John Ashcroft lost an election to a dead man in Arkansas.
The ballot was:
John Ashcroft
Dead Man
Sorry Johnny the dead man scares me less than you do.
Would love to hear the story behind this photo..
the story is that it was a campaign sign that was placed on his mother and father’s grave which they would have been proud of their son, whether he won or not.
God bless democracy. It makes sure everyone can run for office- even the dead and the not-quite-dead.
failblog fail FAIL FAIL… it’s photoshopped, and very very badly too.
wow.
that is WAYYYY too much of a coincidence.
has to be photoshopped right?