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Failbook.
No way! Why? You should scream: first! first!
Why?
Because it’s common sense.
because i cant answer “i hate you” if nobody screams “first!”.
Yeah, whatever lawl said.
just having 1 group would be a fail
Just having a facebook profile would be a fail.
(*fails*)
*uberfails*
Hey, let’s be friends!
*epic fails*
adding random nerds as friends IS an epic fail.
You’re an epic fail… lawl.
There’s a group somewhere called Compulsive Commenters on Failblog.
Look it up, let’s get it started!
…Hah… Let’s get it started, in here!
It’s called Failblog :’(
*fails*
Hi i’m Loz and I’m a compulsive commenter.
It’s been 3 minutes since my last comment.
where’s my 3 minute pin?
That retarded song reference failed. If I can’t get that shit out of my head today, Humility’s gonna be sorry.
Phew, hah, I’m just glad there’s no fake Humility.
Well Dilettante, if you got it hooked on your mind, I would say it’s a song reference win!
That’s it, I’m deleting you from my Facebook.
What!? Please don’t remove me from friends! I don’t even know you!
*deletes*
Yeah, I’m deleting you too. I hope you feel lonely and uncool on the internet.
*Sigh* So lonely… So uncool…. *Sigh*
now that i removed all you guys from my friend list and de1337ed your groups, my e penis feels like if it was twice as big.
If was?
lawl’s penis is twice “as if”
Yay! Good morning! So, can you tell me why Tracey’s wrong?
Because Tracey’s mom has got it going on!
*deletes again*
The etymology for “trace” includes the meanings of both “to pursue” “to follow,” and “to score.” There is, however, no Roman numeral for “zero.” And because persons who post “first” and/or buy into the null hilarity set of those who do, and all those who post ::masturbates:: as though they haven’t the slightest trace of creative maturity beyond age 10 (Roman numeral “X” = stupid + boring + “’suck my dick fag’ from a previous fail”), and given that we all know women/death and only creatively intelligent males get the hottest most captivatingly artistic and good in bed females, factoring in the infinite paradox of that hot looking glasses wearing Tina Fey looks spot on like that moose meat snacking Sarah Pollen — excising the factor of Tracy Morgan playing a character named Tracy Jordan on XXX Rock — and the compounded fail paradox of someone having a name that means “not hubris” possessing the gall to post the same “mom” joke comment multiple times on a thread all about not joining in on something multiple times while claiming not to be able to see anyone repeating themselves — leaving plus Loz plus Fake Loz — and knowing lawl doesn’t know the difference between a shes a girl and a she’s a woman — the clear conclusion is that my just out of bed mind is too unclear to think of anything but theatrical traceries and bottom line lacies so let’s go back to bed, art lover.
Couldn’t have put it better myself…
I think.
*hies there*
Dang, that’s one majestic comment… And HEY! …Wait, no… Nothing… It’s all good… It’s aaaaall too darn good…
tl;dr
This may be late, but my dog has a profile on Facebook.
*puts the dog outside for failing so hard*
Hi stranger!
Your dog wins if it can use the internet.
only loldogs can use teh interwebz. loldogs never win.
Whatever, “lawl”.
♫
Got a business doin’ websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I can do HTML for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog!
♫
Oh and hi Sarah J! *waves* wb!
*hugs Sara J*
*pins the “Post of the Month” award on fuzz’s…um…post*
*lols at blue*
You truly are white ‘n’ nerdy… I’m right there with you, though.
Hi everyone! Been on vacation, but I’m back now and ready for the failin’!
Welcome back, Sara. We missed you.
*hugs*
Where’d you go on vacation?
Hi Sarah, good to see you ROUND.
*kisses*
Hey Fuzz, you square.
You’ll never guess where I was. Well, you won’t get a chance, because I’m about to tell you. We went to the obese geriatric vacation capital of the world, Branson, Missouri! In our defense, it was free.
Woo! We were in the same state!
How’s the wee bun doing??
Hello Sara J. Your absence had been mentioned more than once. As for it being free going to Branson; it would have to be, wouldn’t it. Hey the boxes are bigger! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
The bunbun is doing just fine. Thanks for asking! We got an ultrasound last week and got some beautiful photos of his sweet face! He’s a handsome little feller.
Oh, that is FABulous!!
*hugs Sara J and the nearly-baked bunbun*
*bunbun kicks Dragon*
So…
*looks around*
What’s going on around here? Has Fuzz been behaving himself?
*snork*
Has he ever??
Sarah, you may rest assured that Fuzz has been quite conscientious about the way he has cavorted himself on failblog in your absence.
These boxes were only bigger on IE (I was forced to use it), blast
FIRST!
Wait, there was cavorting?
*pouts*
i fount a pic for you sara
just click my name to see it
Cute pic, Corey.
.
And Sarah, don’t be discomfited — you need but say a word and I’ll comport myself to compose in manners to elicit a licit and comforting loss of your composure. (And you know that’s no compost.)
oh yes that’s true! * deletes facebook account*
Next they will be against multiple comments.
Next they will be against multiple comments.
Next they will be against multiple comments.
stop making the same COMMENT!
stop making the same COMMENT!
stop making the same COMMENT!
You guys have a sophisticated sense of humour. This pleases me.
you mean: :masturbates: ?
you know, it looks disturbingly like you were hoping there was an emoticon for that.
There should totally be one.
you dont know mr sausage, right?
noob!
chez is not the noob, you are.
but i know mr sausage! he doesnt! hes the noob!
chez simply made a joke. It doesn’t mean s/he doesn’t know who vienna is.
I bet you have mr sausage on friends at FaceBook, I guess it’s from there you “know” him.
you lost your bet. i dont even have facebook. you fail. i hate you. thats what your mother said. :masturbates:. bend down and ill show you….
B3nd 0ver*, n00b.
i cant say anything now without repeating myself.
well, theres one thing left….
TITS NAO?
All of these comments already EXCISTS!
All of these comments already EXCISTS!
You know who does NOT exist? HITLER!
And you know who does NOT make me lawl?
LAWL! YOU NOTSY!
but i love you! *sadface*
btw: comments about hitler are worse than hitler!
Really? Talking about him on the internet is worse than him existing?
Well you know what happens when you mention someone’s name on failblog. They magically show up.
Really? You know what’s worse than finding comments about Hitler unfunny on the internet? Finding HALF of Hitler in your APPLE.
Well, wouldn’t that depend on the topic of discussion?
Oh, wait… NO.
*resists quoting a very inappropriate Jimmy Carr joke*
Fuzz, the only thing worse than finding Half of Hitler in your APPLE is realizing that you paid extra for the Hitler OS upgrade, because the commissioned salesperson cheated you into it, then discovering that the Hitler OS upgrade automatically segregates your programs and begins a systematic process of deletion of important files. That’s worse.
IMO, the only thing worse than finding half a Hitler in your apple is finding the other half in your pile of sand.
Never mind, that doesn’t work. You know who loves jokes like this?
Now, what if I was to say, that I, was Hitler?
*Puts finger on mouth and begins to think*
You Nazi!
You know what I like about you guys (and gals)? Your sophisticated sense of humor.
*sophisticates*
Oh, pob, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding yesterday. Sarcasm can be hard to detect. I thought you would know not to take me seriously.
Hope you weren’t worried through your shift! *smooch*
Oh POB, I’ll make it up to you by tickling your bag under your desk …after tea of course
*masturbates*
Sorry, but when it comes to Loz I accept no substitutes.
I’m just glad I hadn’t hurt you. (Also, a
at the end or italicizing the “gee, thanks” part would have made it a little more clear that you were intending to be sarcastic. But what’s done is done.)
Oh, thanks for the advice.
You’re welcome!
Next they will be against comments multiplied.
Next they will be against comments multiplied. x 20 = ?
Nest they will be against comments multiplied. x 20 = A + B ?
Why is Tracey wrong?
Her car is travelling at 65mph and Gloucester is 200 miles away. How long until Tracey arrives in Gloucester, is what I say.
What if she heads in the opposite direction to Gloucester?
She’ll never get there. And she’ll never meet Dr. Foster.
Because Tracey’s mom has got it goin’ on.
because shes a girl?
She’s all woman.
But is she every woman?
I’m not Tracey.
But she is all in me.
shes a shemale?
Getting the joke fail.
answering yourself fail.
Kinky! Win!
Next they will be against multiple comments.
next they will be against multiple comments
comments multiple they are against.
Impossible to see the future is.
Impossible to see the future is.
Impossible to see the future is
Impossible to see the future is.
Now the rain has gone, possible to see clearly is.
Now the rain has gone, possible to see that ugly you are.
Now the comment is made, possible to see the ass kicking coming.
Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.
(Too late.)
*Hulks out*
RAAAAR! POB SMASH PUNY NOOB WHO INSULT M’LADY!
*watches from the sidelines*
*cheers pob on*
My knight
Knight? As in Dark Knight? Wrong movie…
As in “Knight Rider”
As in “Knights in White Satin”.
Or Knights of the Round Table who dance whene’er they’re able.
Ah the knights. Sir Bedevere, Sir Galahad the pure, Sir Launcelot the brave, Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot, etc…
The aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-thread…
On second thought, let us not go to this thread. ‘Tis a silly place…
*rides off banging two halves of a coconut together*
Sounds kinky.
MY ROFLKNIEV GOES SLIECSLIECSLIEC
RAAAR! POB SMASH PUNY ROFLKNIEV!
RAAAR! LAWL ROFLKNIEV PUNY SMASH!
What kind of bizarro world do you live in?
I can see clearly now your brain is gone.
If you had to see it to get it, you’re clearly missing something yourself.
“Now the brain is gone, possible to see how empty is.”
*Sniff* That’s how Loz would’ve said it… I miss Loz… Haven’t said anything for… Quite some time… Must be five minutes – at least!
Impossible to see the future is
why are there soo many duplicate comments around?
why are there soo many duplicate comments around?
…You may wonder…
Great! I just joined three of those groups. Love it!
Chi square
You’re not normal.
That’s true. Normal bores me.
You prefer a fat tail and a large kurtosis.
^ skewed graphic imagination
With frequency!
^^ has a graph!cally sk3wed imag!nation
.
(I offered this comment hours ago, but it was apparently TOO SHOCKING for failblog to print — so here it is again, in OBSC3NITY C3NSOR-PROOF DISGUISE!!)
*bares, bones & bores*
Huh, this have written fail all over it… Yo, I’m serious, check it out…
You know what else I hate? People repeating themselves unnecessarily, and TAUTOLOGY. I HATE that.
You’re clever. I like that.
*curtseys*
Frankly, a can’t see any person here repeating themselves, they’re actually repeating each other.
Second… Now you’re just being tautologous, tautologically speaking of course.
TAUTOLOGY:
Suddenly, without warning, I can see it with my own eyes this new innovation of repetition repeating over and over is sufficiently adequate without forward planning or even planning ahead! Chronic habitual users will not receive and get no free gift.
You, Tom Trifik, are a tautological winner in the art of repeating yourself.
Loz, I personally give, send and grant my personal thanks, appreciation and gratitude to, for and of you Loz.
Suddenly, without warning, I can see it with my own eyes this new innovation,
tautology, of repetition repeating over and over is sufficiently adequate without forward planning or even planning ahead! Chronic habitual users will not receive and get no free gift.
I mean it, stop creating groups that already excists.
Haha! So that’s the punishment, getting a cist.
Or an exorcism.
We’ll clearly have to excise the groups that already excist.
dilettante:
Surely positively you mean and wish to convey that they should quit and cease making and creating groups and discussion areas that are already there, created and made already? Don’t you?
HEY! Where’d my Icon go!!??
Much Better and Very Good!
Haha, you are truly and verily skilled and talented and gifted at tautologically repeating yourself.
I agree and concur most sincerely, indeed and very much so.
Me, too, also.
Verily, it is certain.
**Bowsx & Genuflects **
Hey! Where’s MY Damned STAR!?
You get six and half a dozen.
*sticks a gold star on Loz’s nose*
*also pins a golden five-pointed shape on the Irishwoman’s proboscis*
*is jealous*
*is also wondering sulkily whe he didn’t receive a gold star*
Why*
Spelling fail.
Also, a mistake in the letters I used to form the word.
can i have a red star
Hence the no gold star.
Nor, too, also the lack of any yellow-type colored pointy thing.
Haha! *gives dragon two golden, 5-pointed shapes on her
two mammarian protrusions*
W00T! Pasties!
♬ MAAAAAAAAAM-REEEEEEZZ!!♪
I hope I’ve given you a nice mamory to remamber.
Yes, ma’am.
You have. I will never forget this mament.
Also, this event will never leave my mamory.
(I’m watching the presidential debate; is it weird that I find Obmama very sexually attractive?)
Yeah, he’s one sexy Obmama.
LOL. No really, I want a slice of that…
Just keep Biden your time, you’ll get to Obama eventually.
EW. Okay, well done, you quashed that fantasy.
In addition, myself likewise.
hi
Wow. It’s like deja vu. I would have taken my oath that I had read all of this before.
Oh man, this one’s going to hit 300 (SPARTAAAA!!!!!) quickly.
300?
This! Is! SPARTAAAAAA!!!
*this comment is unrelated to your comment* nice new avatar
Thanks!
trying to get a film-reference-win-comment fail.
This is where we fight. This is where you die.
This is madness.
Film reference WIN!
*displays a single digit to lawl*
i love you too.
Lawl, you are a loathsome, fetid creature, deserving only of a terrible and horrendous fate. Please find your way to Charon’s boat, and return to the other side of the Styx. I believe the Cheezfrenz will gladly pay your fare.
Oh, and have a nice day.
Hear, hear!
So many trolls today, *sigh*
Where are my fun failblog friends?
Here I am! (Rock you like a hurricane.)
I’m happy now, even though I have work soon.
What kind of work do you do?
what kind of work would you LIKE me to do??? Can you afford me?
innuendos of inappropriate proportions won’t nest below this level.
I just work part-time in a shop. It’s easy money.
Hooray for easy money!
I just shop part-time at work. That’s easy money too, except it seems to go in the wrong direction!
*pokes Loz*
I’m here. Finally. Did someone forget to set the troll-traps last night? Sheesh!
It is SO good to see you.
I blame Avis (because she isn’t here), it was her turn to set the traps last night!
*hugs back*
Good to see you too!
Hee…we can give Avis an earful when she gets here!
*feels the love tonight*
*ahem*
Please to be feeling your love on your own…I don’t do threesomes. :p
I was referring to how happy you and Loz were to see each other. That, and I was making a Lion King reference for my Nala’s benefit.
Yes, dear. I know. And I was making a joke.
*checks POB’s funny-meter*
You’re a bit low there, sweets.
Wow, everyone’s a bit testy when the trolls are out.
*gets a number 2 pencil*
Oops. Sorry.
*hugs POB*
It’s not the trolls, it’s me…I’m just grouchy. My funny-meter must be on empty.
*goes to recharge*
I know that you knew, and I knew that you were making a joke. I’m not some Simba-le minded fool!
Dragon, are you still not feeling well?
It’s ok, Dragonwriter, really! I won’t make a Mufussa ’bout it.
*hugs back*
Yup…not well at all. I am unfit for civilized society.
Good thing I have you guys, huh?
I’ll give you that one because you’re sick. But if you don’t behave, no Shakespeare for you tonight!
*passes dragon a hot toddy*
lol … hope you feel mo’ better
Tanks. I’m actually getting a little worried, because I just seem to keep getting worse.
Hmm. I’m sorry. I hope you feel better soon.
Tanks. Me too. I’m thinking I’m bound for another bout of pneumonia, which wouldn’t be nearly as fun as it sounds.
Shakespeare is good medicine, though. As are copious doses of hugs given at regular intervals.
No one’s ever called me their Nala before. I… I love it.
*cries with happiness*
*keeps away from dragon*
Oh I’m sorry, I feel bad now. Let me put on this face mask and I’ll be right with you.
hi
i’m sorry for last night
It’s okay, corey. I hope you’re feeling better now.
And YAY! *hugs Loz*
i am it’s the ambien i’m on
I’m glad to see you. You had me worried.
i prefer nice troll comments to “i talk with you on failblog because im too dumb to add you on msn” comments btw.
there are most liekly 3-4 ppl nesturbating and talking about something thats not related to the topic. its not even fun!
tl;dr: you suck!
you suck
Sounds like somebody got some defective Prozac.
Its early morning
The sun comes out
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
My cat is purring
And scratches my skin
maybe they’re trolling for trolls?
Haha, looking for another troll to mate with? That could be it.
As long as they’re not fishing with fishes, or lying with lions, I guess that’d be ok.
Or lying with fishes. *calls his Mafia connection*
Don’t you mean SLEEPING with fishes?
Well, he didn’t say “sleeping”. He said “lying”. I switched the verb-noun pairs. Way to pick up on the joke there.
I thought getting laid and sleeping with someone meant the same thing anyway…
I thought fishing lions came on poles.
Catfish on skewers?
Catfish sticks?
im not your friend? :C
No, don’t go away mad… just go away (with liberties taken).
im not talking with you anymore! your not nice! at least my mom told me :C
Please put multiple comments under this comment.
|
|
|
\./
I refuse.
Multiple comments go here.
I
I
I
\/
Multiple Comments use Roman Numerals!
\/
/ ?
M/XX+L=C
No, I think x = something else….
( . Y . )?
^ n00bies?
like them?
^ n00b’s
no they don’t
Department of Redundancy Department, how may I help you?
Are you the Chief CEO Officer?
Yeah, your ATM machine isn’t working.
You mean the automated ATM machine?
I’m not tell(er)ing!
Please enter your PIN number.
The personal one?
Yes, for purposes of identification.
OH, so that’s what it’s for!
I thought it was to PIN someone up with their back against a wall, personally
“The butterflies are free to come as they please. I only ask the same freedom.”
~ Charles Dickin’s
Ask away, lepidopterist.
*goes all lapidarist and makes a gem of pinning a precious lover as a sensual work of art*
MM. C’mere, lapin.
*laps*
(as in the verb as in the noun as in does it ’round and ’round)
Rabbits go round and round?
Rabbits go round and round after some heartless bastard cuts off one of their feet. Lucky rabbit’s feet aren’t so lucky for the rabbits.
“Ah yes. Englishmen don’t know what a tongue is for.”
lapin is French for rabbit… *sigh*
En fait, in this case, lapin was a French approximation for “bunneh,” as referenced in previous fails (and an ICHC image). And “Ah yes. Englishmen don’t know what a tongue is for” is a translation of French mots justes from Braveheart.
.
Did someone have a *lapse* in their double entendre
recognition?
.
(”Lapin” can also refer to a “rabbit fuzz” fabric. )
Kill the wabbit!
.
Sorry. Fuddian slip.
Hmm, not a double entendre recognition fail, just a Braveheart recognition fail.
lol, she said dick!
You’re in third grade…aren’t you?
Hahahahaha!
Lindsay! Lohan!
Ever notice how she seemed to have her sh*t together when she was a redhead, and seemed to go batsh*t crazy after she dyed her hair?
I don’t guano what happened to her…
You owe me a nickel.
Stop making duplicate comments!
Stop making duplicate comments!
Why are there so many duplicate comments around?
I think multiple groups about the same thing is a pretty cool guy. eh tries to make topics better and doesn’t afraid of anything.
I’ll afraid YOU!
I’m skeptical that you will, but curious that you might.
lawl
what?
scroll up, genius. There’s a message for you above.
i didnt answer because im not dead yet. no boat-tour-across-styx for me :C
Seriously, can you prove that? I find your very existence somewhat troubling.
Stop feeding, it’ll help it to reproduce.
:reproduces:
I think lawl is a pretty cool guy. eh makes poor contributions to failblog and doesn’t afraid of anything.
thats what im ment to do.
its called “xxx Failures in Communication” for a reason.
we need MOAR failblog comment fails!
But the comment fails are meant to actually be vaguely funny.
there are different people with different kinds of humors. some actually laugh about “creatures” like me.
other laugh about grammaer nazis.
nobody laughs about people feeling like if they had to talk about their rl on failblog.
grammar*
Lawl, you fail at failblogging, you failing failblogger. WTF does it matter if someone discusses IRL stuff here? The whole point is that there aren’t rules. If it’s rules you want, go back to talking to your friends on AIM. Or are you here criticizing because they won’t talk to you anymore?
[voice over]
Here we see the wild Loz in her natural habitat. The wild Loz is a creature famous for her beautiful plummage and instinctive need to correct grammatical and spelling mistakes.
well, i just think its dumb to talk about rl in a picture-comment thingie.
if you dont want rules, go back to 4chan. or are you here criticizing because they wont talk to you anymore?
I’m on my AIM buddy list. Shit, that’s depressing.
Hehe
).
I only corrected that for the irony.
(And it’s ‘plumage’
ROFL… Another episode starring Marlin Perkins?
no dear, I think he was referring to your lovely plums!!! I heard they’re quite ripe this time of year!
This time of the month* yes, yes they are. Very ripe
I’m afraid nibbling privileges are reserved for pob, though.
To quote a famous philosopher, D’oh!
Plummage = wizard who summons fruit?
Nibbling privileges?
*nom nom nom nom*
Hmmmmm…
*film film film film*
this damn failblog ate my comment for 2 times now. most likely because i mentioned 2+2chan, but whatever.
what i wanted to say is:
im here to laugh. i want to see funny pics, read funny comments. i dont want anybody to start commenting his rl here. go get your own blog, get some friends or whatever.
if you dont want rules, go back to 2+2chan
Are you still here? Hasn’t your mommy called you in for supper yet? Don’t you have chores to do, like taking out the trash?
The trash can take itself out? Technology these days is fantastic
lol.
not.
what forgot to say: thanks, now i know that youre just another dumb person whos too dumb to discuss properly.
smart enoguh to talk about rl shit in the wrong place, too dumb to add someone to msn.
your most likely a 35 year old nerd sitting in his basement 24/7.
*sends lawl back to the second grade*
Maybe he’ll pay attention this time.
I think you actually made him skip a grade by sending him there…
Can you tell lawl how to get; how to get to Sesame Street?
Sure!
First, he straps these weights to his ankles (they won’t let him in without them), and then he takes a loooooong walk off that very short pier over there. Then he’ll be there in no time!
I lol’d (not lawl’d).
yeah, buddy… you’d BETTER make that topic better, you’d better, you’d better you bet!
*fail*
Who?
The Doctor.
People Who Make Multiple Comments About The Exact Same Thing, Are Idiots
And are subject to capital punishment.
PUNISHMENT!
Monkey see, monkey do.
FAIL 2.0
This is absolute poetry.
You see this all the time on Slashdot. If a thread covers a topic that another one has even so much as touched on, you can bet your life that the first thirty comments will all say “It’s a dupe, d00d2!!!1!1!”
FAIL.
Stop creating groups that already ekcsist!
Irony WIN.
This is LAME!!!
^ Lame blame game ^
You all have NO LIFE.
…
Can i join plox?