Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Scissor Fail | Road Fail Next »
» 231 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
YOU FAIL AT LIFE on Toy Fail ClariPossum on History Fail Captain Obvious on So they’re looking for W… Will on Garbage Burning Fail Will on Remember, don’t skip out… Pan Panpan on History Fail Will on Claw Machine Fail zooomz♀ on So they’re looking for W… That Weirdo Over In … on Protests Fail zooomz♀ on So they’re looking for W… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
BURST!
*masturbates*
*Wipes down the Blog*
Did you have to… you’ve made it all sticky.
I’m more concerned about why he “burst” then masturbated.
dislexic masturbation – win!
Dyslexic FAIL
No – that was a dyslexic win.
*masturb…. ah f’ck it, it’s to early in the morning”*
Round 2: Dyslexic win again!
Apparently I fail at failing this morning.
*hangs head in shame*
*hands you a cookie*
It’s good to see a lysdexic win; it’s not often they get a chance to cerebralate
Too
It’s never too early.
Dyslexics UNTIE!
Nah, TIE them up would be better
Come on guys, its dylsexia. Get it right.
Nothing like a good wank to start your day XD
(quick question) What the hell is with this masturbation thing its all over failblog
Who knows? ‘mr sausage’ is the ring-leader, ask him.
You know it alludes to the English word for “PRIMERO?”
Well, that felt unnecessary.
It usually does. ;(
But it is the unnecessary stuff that is the most fun, ie. failblog.
This was the plot of an episode of Matlock!
Wiggum: Hey I crack cases all the time. Like the case of the symphony conductor who murdered his star cellist.
Lou: That was an episode of Columbo, chief. They show you who the bad guy is at the beginning of each one.
Wiggum: Yeah but you have to remember.
I’ve always wondered, on Murder, She Wrote, if the FBI has a huge file on Jessica. Everyone in her town has been murdered, and everywhere she goes someone dies.
Haha yeah. There’s a similar one in the UK called Midsomer Murders; every week in Midsomer Village people are murdered.
Is the main character clearly the one murdering everyone, too?
Well he’s the only one consistently present!
I reckon it’s that wife of his. She’s always there, with her watercolours and her bad cooking. She’s a banshee, I tell you!
Haha, very possible! She’s a MILF though, and she speaks.
A MILF who speaks?!?! She should run for vice president of the US!!!
Be better than the lipstick-smeared pig that’s running now. No, not Joe Biden…
You’re just jealous because she chose McCain over you.
Hillary isn’t in it any more.
Isn’t it always the out-of town guest doing the murdering? Remind me not to visit Midsomer Village;-)
and yet people insist on living there…
How has teh entire town not died yet?
Because people keep moving there due to them constantly insisting on it.
For that matter, why does anyone live in Atlas park? The place is jam packed with superheroes and yet “Every week, someone is stealing my purse” is common to hear on the street.
Bart Simpson: Grandpa, Matlock’s not real!
Grandpa Simpson: Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob* if someone cuts it off and smooshes it into a fine paste. Now that’s good eatin’!
.
*aka organic bananas
Combining previous fail and Simpsons references: WIN
Remember that episode of “Three’s Company”? The one with the misunderstanding?
Please elaborate
You mean the one where Jack made a fool of himself?
I thought Jack got disbarred for that.
I’m Jack’s mortal embarrassment.
You just came THIS CLOSE to breaking the first rule…!
Don’t talk about Fight Club?
Aw, crap, I broke it.
Now I’m Jack’s angry rage!
You cannot be in the Club anymore.
Isn’t that the premise for all the episodes?
Sarcasm-detection FAIL
Yes. That was the point of the joke. Way to go.
No, there was one where they shook it up a little and Jack became a male prostitute, got AIDs, and died in the arms of his gay lover. Turned out to all be Bob Newheart’s dream, though.
I feel threatened.
Oh, you’re gonna be…
If it’s imperative … you must be God.
Well, I am ineffable.
Darlin, if you’re anything, you’re dilly-light-fully eff’able. And I should know — you make me see God.
“Tip the earthly body
Heaven’s on my side…”
sounds like a divine bottom line …
You two need to get…
a stage!
and….*exeunt*
No, *enters back in* if all the world’s a stage, didn’t I create it? I’m staying put.
Only if you did set design and construction.
I totally do! Are you stalking me?! *threatened*
No, but you just became THIS MUCH cooler.
*holds hands very far apart*
Hey, so did you!
Or was it the one where Janet and Chrissy assume that Jack’s up to no good?
Again. that calls for elaboration, he was always up to some hare-brained
scheme.
Yes! That one! When he had all those sexual innuendos!
Oh, I approve of this fail.
Yes, ’tis a fine fail indeed.
halfdotcom win?
Quite the investigative journalism course they have there.
Could be an investigative Journalism Win though…
First there is the story, then they have the breaking news when they discover the cause.
It’d work better if it was a live newscast. “Top story tonight, students are not buying textbooks. How the hell are they completing course requirements. This just in! We just received word from one of our sources that students are turning to piracy so they don’t have to pay for the ridiculously overpriced textbooks.”
How long did it take for you to figure that one out?
SparkNotes were probably involved.
calculus book, 4th edition, applicable for 3 different courses: $120
next semester, try to sell it back “i’m sorry, they’re switching to 5th edition next semester, we’re not buying that one back”
*muderous rage*
*ponders the after-effects of a muderous rage*
Would that be difficult to clean up? Mud can be nasty.
Well, mud-wrestling is fun but it gets in some nasty places.
“There’s some great filth over ‘ere!”
BUNDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
*imagines helping Loz get cleaned up after mud wrestling*
*faints*
Hmmm, the second one’s up now, but not the first one. (In that one it was the sexiness of imagining Loz mudwrestling that made me faint.)
*masturbates*
Mental Image WIN…
*wink*
I wonder why failblog ate my replies…
It must be hungry today. It ate one of mine too.
But I was naughty with my language.
I didn’t use any words you would think would trip the censors.
Maybe the bag of sand you replaced the golden idol with wasn’t heavy enough.
Sorry, can’t respond right now–I’m running from a giant stone ball right now…
<3 You got my nerdy archaeological reference!
I hope you get away from that ball okay, they can be pesky.
Whew, that was close!
*cracks whip so end coils around Loz’s waist*
*pulls her in*
Hello, gorgeous.
*smooches*
*presses button to start walls closing in*
BREWWWHAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAA!
(Ancient temple traps wont nest below this level.)
But we can try (harder).
You are so clever!
*presses button to stop culprit’s evil coffee machine from brewing anymore*
Wait, how on earth is “Maybe the bag of sand you replaced the golden idol with wasn’t heavy enough” a nerdy archaeological reference? Pop culture!
*barfs*
*misses boyfriend*
*tonsil hockey*
Ooooh! That’s my favorite kind of hockey!
*participates*
I like it rough *checks POB into the wall*
Ah, but you weren’t paying attention. I had already been penalized for highsticking on Loz, who was the person you actually checked into the wall. The ref saw the play wrong and called the foul on Loz. At that point, the penalized players were sent to the sin bin.
Be careful! I think that he’s high sticking! Oops, my mistake.
You beat me to it by seconds. A pox on you!!
A pucks on you!
Now you’re reading A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream to me?
It’s getting late, and Shakespear starts to flow together…
A shrew by any other name… well, as you like it!
Watch it SotB. You’re on thin ice here.
All of this certainly signifies nothing.
Just watch your crease, man.
coyote: “A pox on you!!”
.
Change the “x” to a “b” and direct the comment at Loz, then you’ve got it right.
If you just called me a shrew, there will certainly be lots of sound and fury. The Tempest in the proverbial teapot, as it were. All will not end well.
Don’t get yourself all worked up. Get back in bed.
The state of my crease is none of your business. Now if Dragon was curious…..
But I’m lonely.
Definintely not, I’d never think of it. I was simply giving an example of how things can get mixed up. It should be obvious that the Admiral and I are nothing but Two Gentlemen of Verona. Sorry if this has seemed to be a comedy of errors.
PoB, I’m afraid that anything that I directed at loz for you would be loves labour lost.
You shall be met out measure for measure.
Oh, fine. As you like it.
*climbs back into bed*
I’d still be happier with some company.
*tries out the Puss in Boots look again*
(Yes, I am a completely pathetic sick person. I know this about myself.)
Enjoy the honey-heavy dew of slumber:
Thou hast no figures nor no fantasies
Which busy care draws in the brains of men;
Therefore thou sleep’st so sound.
*crawls under the covers*
Unfortunately, I must be off.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
Oh what fools these bloggers be.
Aahhhh. That’s more like it.
*gives SotB a germ-free smooch of thanks for the Shakespeare*
*curls up against the Admiral and is much comforted*
Now my charms are all o’erthrown…
Woops…!
*gives coyote a smooch of thanks, too*
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails
The violence inherent in the system can really cram mud in some uncomfortable spots, can’t it?
Yep, it’s so repressive!
LOL @ your name. I’ve got a load in the dryer right now.*
.
*No, that’s not a euphamism for sex with Loz.**
.
**Not yet, anyway.
Consider it to be one… NOW!
But… I have a load in the dryer too… so that must mean…
*masturbates*
THat’s not anything like having a bun in the oven, is it?
I’m pretty sure the two aren’t directly related…
Why be pretty sure when you can find out definitively?
*puts on lab coat*
*takes off everything else*
I propose an experiment…
I must admit, the lab coat isn’t doing it for me…
Are you saying you want me to take it off?
Well spotted lol
you might want to have a doctor take a look at it then.
And the only difference in between editions are the cover, font and table numbering.
Also, there’s the page numbering and changing names, like instead of Line A-B, it is now renamed Line C-D.
ROID RAGE!!!
Yarrrrggghhh, thar be books fer students here!
Yarrrggghhh, I’ll take the one fer booty huntin’
Arrgh, aye’ve ‘nrolled in Rum 151!
anal water anyone
Sorry, International Talk Like A Pirate Day was LAST Friday. Today is International LOLspeak Day. Kthxbai!
Orly?
srsly?
MY ROFLCOPTER GOES SOI SOI SOI SOI
*hug*
*poke*
Pay.
*pokes*
I’m still waiting to here how your SOICOPTER sounds…??
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
*snort*
Is the SOICOPTER for vegetarians?
Well, I don’t think a normal copter would have meat in it unless someone installed an ejector seat.
You’re quite clever, young man. Witty beyond your years.
*starts to masturbate*
*falls to death*
hear
har har
I’ve got to say, this is one awesome find.
Could someone please provide me the original image (without the macro)? I want to print this for my classroom.
Yes, and I’m the King of England.
Well I didn’t vote for you.
You don’t vote for the king!
I’m royal, dammit!
…You should be all respectful an’ that…
Many apple bogeys m’lud *doffs cap*
And how does one become king?
You inherit it
You don’t vote for kings! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
If I said I was king just ‘cuz some watery tart lobs a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
Or something to the effect. I haven’t exactly memorized MPatHG yet. I’m young. Give me time.
I mean, if I went ’round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away! *doesn’t care to memorize, just loves Google*
*also loves the word “bint”*
Bint, bint, bint. You’re right. It’s a fun word. Bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint, bint.
I giggle just saying it.
Bint.
.
..
…
*giggle*
I’ll be dipped…so do I!
Bint is one of my favourite words!
Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED!
Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn’t you?
(Insert above SotB comment) BLOODY PEASANT!
ah, dangit… I knew I forgot something!
Its more complicated than that. They also had a flag.
No flag, no country! You can’t have one!
Did you just make up this rule?!
It’s rule six.
*takes tablets*
Really? Anything good? Are you sharing?
All hail the King?
I thought it was a queen.
shes a killer Queen.
*mind blown by dynamite with a laser beam*
*fried chicken*
Guaranteed to blow your mind
*Gunpowder, Gelatine*
Yes I do know all the words.
Ummm, can’t you just click “Recaption This Image” then copy/save as on the Picture?
Or… is your lack of simple computer understanding due to the fact that you’re really only trying to get the picture to cheat on your Kindergarten homework, and the Macro will give it away to your teacher? Plagiarism is frowned upon at the Kindercare, you know!
You’d think that someone named CG would know how to deal with the text.
Not a fail, the Russians shot it down and it turned out it really was a weather balloon.
in Soviet Russia, weather balloon shoots down you.
The thing is, with some obscure textbooks, there’s no leechers so your ratio ends up sucking.
..but if you upload a book, that counts for you, so I’ll probably put up several, none of the ones I got this semester were on the tracker, i’d hate for someone with the same classes to run into the same situation..
This is a foreign language to me. College was not that long ago for me, but I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you kids today.
When I went to college, we got our books the old-fashioned way: We stole them out of our neighbors’ rooms and brought them back at the end of the semester.
That was YOU????
*sob* And to think I trusted you!
Yeah, cause we went to college in the same decade… I mean city.
Plllbbbbbbbbttt!
OK, sorry. That was uncalled for. I’m just in a good mood tonight.
Well, I’m glad to hear it. I, on the other hand, am extremely sick and in a great deal of discomfort tonight, so my humor is just a tad off tonight.
*pitiful, Puss-in-Boots-type look*
Aw, I’m sorry…
*lights a fire and reads Shakespeare to dragon*
Oooohhhhh…dat’s very nice. Tanks.
*curls up into a coughing little ball of misery*
Which wok would you prefer me to read to you?
And I mean work, because reading Chinese cookware can be tricky!
Well…Macbeth is my favorite…
(and I’d *snork*, but I’m afraid it would set off a
coughing fit)
When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the battle’s lost and won.
*smiles and snuggles down in front of the fire*
You could try something that could be the title for these comment sections. Much Ado About Nothing.
Round about the cauldron go;
In the poisoned entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and nights hast thirty-one
Sweltered venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”
And that’s about all I know off-hand. I’m sorry I don’t have my copy of Macbeth handy.
Macbeth is my favourite too
What is this dagger I see before me…
Come, let me clutch thee.
I love obvious answers.
I always miss them.
to anyone who cares i’m truthfully depressed i need someone who wants to help
Depressed about…?
i dont know
its just the world it’s killing me
Try some Promise Ring.
Oh gawd. A band out of my hometown, no less.
Dil we’re over on the scissor fail. feel free to join.
First: if this blasted comments section locks me out again look for me in the scissor fail.
Next: there should be a specific that started this. How long ago did it start?
Just c’mon over to the scissor fail.
On my way
So can you fail at spooning too?
I don’t get this
LOL … AHAHA
well, I guess that solves the mystery