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pedo bear must have a pair
I’m probably the only one who doesn’t understand this, but what exactly is this ‘pedobear’?
On the Engrish site, some of the posts with lots of text had a little shocked/amused/pervy-looking Panda that pointed at the “funniest” part. They got rid of it because it annoyed a lot of people so they complained.
Personally, I thought it was cute.
Nah.
I tried posting a link, but it wouldn’t let me. Spam filters probably.
Anyway, it doesn’t have anything to do with the little panda from engrishfunny. Search for Pedobear in encyclopediadramatica dot com.
FAIL. Pedobear is a meme on 4chan who likes CP (and committing such depicted acts). You know Google exists for a reson. And seriously, the Panda being Pedobear. *sigh*
In short hes a bear that is also a pedo
rules one and two loser. obey them.
but where did the meme come from. duh
4chan. That’s where all memes come from.
its still there
pedobear is a bear that is a pedofile
Touching Cat needs these STAT!
lol this is an epic win
“To enjoy life, we must touch much of it lightly.”
~ Voltaire
Lightly, in inappropriate places?
You mean in bathing suit places?
Heehee. Euphemisms are silly. Especially Victorian ones like “in an interesting condition.”
On that note, has anyone seen Sara J recently??
Let’s not forget modern-day America’s “restroom”. Seriously, unless you’re a homeless guy, you don’t rest in a restroom.
I beg to differ Rouge. Growing up in a large family, the restrooms are sometimes the only place you can find peace.
Okay, but I meant “rest” as in take a nap. Oh, and I’d appreciate if you didn’t call me “Rouge” again, because I am not makeup, nor am I French and red.
opps… *turns rouge*
sherry colay must have a strange range!
‘Restroom’ has always baffled me. I understand the need to make it sound as polite as possible, but what’s wrong with ‘bathroom’ or just ‘toilet’?
AAAUUGGHH!!
Don’t you know that the word “toilet” is vulgar?? It’s “bathroom tissue” for us, theng-kew-veddy-much.
We Americans do love our euphemisms. *rolls eyes*
Haha, even ‘bathroom’ here is considered posh if you’re referring to public toilets. We’re a scummy people in comparison, I guess.
(toilet paper won’t flush below this level)
Not at all. We are just unable or unwilling to see the reality of things, and feel the need to hide behind fabricated veneers of antiseptic propriety.
*rests*
*nods off*
*falls in the toilet*
*resists the urge to “flush”!*
Is that like a reverse swirly?
personally ‘bathroom’ is probably the politest i go, sometimes it’s the crapper, sometimes the shitter, but usually toilet suffices for me
I might be purchasing a golden crapper tomorrow…
I’m waiting on the lottery numbers; this week’s Euro Millions draw is worth £100 million.
Cross your fingers!
You’ll be sharing with your bestest blog-buddies…right??
3 cheers for Loz!
Hmm, random people on the internet I’ve never met? Sure!
toilet suffeces for me
Urine big trouble, mister.
What? That’s bullsh*t.
I didn’t win
(FYI, only on the package is it called “bathroom tissue”. Nobody I know actually calls it that.)
…your packages say ‘bathroom tissue’? For real?!
They really, honest to God, do, because if a corporation puts something on its package that someone in this country would find mildly offensive, a million-dollar lawsuit would ensue. Which is weird because the logo for the Savage Arms company has so far not been changed. Right now, it’s a profile view of a Native American. Now that I might actually get upset about.
yes… sadly… for real
.
I also have the hardest time finding tampons in the supermarket. They’re in aisles named with weird code names.
How about those Washington Redskins?
Is that some sort of double-entendre? Sounds dirty.
Because ‘toilet roll’ offends all those people who… were discriminated against… because of their…
Hmm.
People who think that saying anything related to human waste is equivalent to killing the President.
Especially for icky female stuff. “Feminine hygiene products”, indeed. It just reinforces the age-old stereotypes that women are dirty and unhygienic. We should all go sit in our red tents so we won’t contaminate the “pure” folks.
Sheesh.
If you omit the word “killing” there is an equivalency.
Wait. I just realized something. We are having a serious discussion about toilet paper. Of all the things to have an intellectual conversation about…
raelalt…*SNORK!!*
Well, it is a sin to even touch a woman when she’s menstruating!
We have that here, too, though. With the ’sanitary products’ and ‘feminine hygiene products’.
Raelalt, you are so lucky I’m not drinking anything. Just, please don’t use that same joke next year.
Hah! I was drinking but I managed to keep it in my mouth.
RogueThree, I truly hope I don’t have reason to do so.
So Rogue spits and Loz swallows…interesting.
If McCain gets elected you can stick the word “vice” in there.
Would that be a European or African…
It depends, if 2 Europeans did it with a bit of string…
I saw that new interview she did… was she genuinely trying to say that because she’s from Alaska she has good foreign policy knowledge. Because of the proximity to Russia? And she seemed to insinuate if Russia attacked America, Alaska would be their first port of call?
Dude, where else are they supposed to enter the Mines of Moira to get to Middle earth?
Loz, that’s the way I read it. It is f**king depressing that
a sizable chunk of the American voters are actually buying
her crap. That McBush and Phailin could actually win the
election if it were held today. I wish my dad had retired in
the Netherlands instead of bringing us back here first.
.
Would you adopt me so I can live over there?
Of course you’d have to improve the weather a bit. That Northern Irish weather is a bit cool for my taste.
Dragon, please don’t call me gay. I know you were only joking, but for much of the time I’ve spent here in Hell… er, North Carolina… I’ve been teased by people who think I’m gay because I use big words, and don’t have a girlfriend. I mean, it kills me a little inside every time. That’s true of my dad, now, too, and I’m living proof he wasn’t gay. I mean, I don’t care that they’re teasing me, it’s just that they’re also spreading it around the school, and we all know how Southerners treat gay people. Oh my God, I just spent an entire post whining about my life problems to people I’ve only met on the Internet. No wonder I don’t have a girlfriend… *fetal position*
Haha. It’s pretty mild here actually. We’re warmed by the North Atlantic Drift.
It doesn’t get very hot, but it doesn’t get very cold.
I’m planning to adopt… but I wasn’t planning on adopting someone twice my age lol. You can come and live illegally in my shed, though?
Oh and if the republicans get voted in… I honestly don’t know what I’ll do. Shake my head in despair and strap myself in for the ride.
If McCain wins, expect a tenant for that shed.
Aww, Rogue, c’mere *cuddles*
I know what that feels like.
Proper English call it a “water closet” or “privy”
No, actually, they call it a lavatory.
That’s all right, I got it all out of my system. Back to the same wisecracking, music-quoting, Star-Wars-loving American high-school senior you all know.
Loz: No, actually, they call it a lavatory.
.
You mix chemicals in there too?
No, raelalt, lavatory. Like the breed of retriever.
The people who would use the word ‘lavatory’… probably, yes. I don’t know how else they’d get through the day.
Rogue, I went through that in high school also. I was small,
geeky (before geeky was semi-cool), interested in music, hated sports, and extremely shy around girls.
.
That kind of personality got you beat up a lot back in the 60’s.
Sorry, Rogue. It never occurred to me that making such an allusion would be offensive…at least in this company. It was a “wordplay” thing much more than a topical “gay” thing, as I just cannot resist connecting things that really don’t connect.
I certainly didn’t mean to make you feel bad. My apologies.
Well, I think that beating someone up at school should legally qualify as assault… because why should teenage assholes be immune to charges that can be pressed on adult assholes?
Oh, no, I’m fine, I just tend to get offended easily. I am American, after all.
Well, I seem to be apologizing for myself a lot today. I think I’ll just go curl up in my lair for a bit.
That, and the fact that I forgot to take my Prozac last night. I think that might somehow have something to do with it.
Is amateurzac cheaper?
Actually, there is a group of people who have perfected the ‘art’ of resting in such rooms. And it truly is an art… but seriously, narcoleptics have been sneaking to survive nap attacks in rest rooms for ages.
It was probably a narcoleptic who started calling it a rest room to begin with.
tiny replies are tiny
yeah! why restroom?
you never go there to rest anyway. the other way around more likely. i mean… shit.
If you go to the fancier department stores, there are often couches, both inside and outside the official “Restroom,” so it kinda still works in our culture. (At least, it does for women. Haven’t checked the men’s side yet).
no couches for us… we dont spend enough time in there to warrant that expense. We would rather have the shortest lines.
Lounging on a couch in the men’s room might send the wrong message.
Or the right one… depending.
yeah but don’t forget those couches are for women who are breast feeding. or at least that’s what they’re supposed to be for. i wouldn’t want to nap on any of those. *shudder*
That reminds me of a quote:
“Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.” – Terry Pratchett
Yes, when I was in 5th grade we had a performance to show us about those.
I hope it means that they will fit a child.
One would hope that it wouldnt be left open to interpretation.
However, if the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.
One apt layperson’s summary of that awful mess — “They framed a guilty man.”
Well, even that sounds bad. I hope *you* meant that they would fit “on a child’s hands”. Cause who knows where a child predator might try to fit them….
Unfortunate choice of words.
Gloves that make you look like a Predator from AVP, in a child size. Although they clearly could have said that better….
Must be obvious day on camp stupid.
You win. Forever.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have another confirmed sighting of the elusive Obvious Bird!
It’s a bird… It’s a fail plane… NO… IT’S… Captain Obvious!!!
allow me to stand for your defense. The above commenter’s seem oblivious to the obvious so our dear UmberGryphon was simply trying to aid them through their apparent idiocy.
commenters
at least peterasses use protection now
Do tell, what exactly does a Saint’s derrier have to do with this?
Pédéraste.
I tried… she called the police.
On the emergency phone?
No, on the Bat Phone.
She dialed 999
…and then hung up so I *69′ed her.
I bet you startled her asterisk like a slick ass operator.
How?
Now…
Brown cow?
Wow!
Brown Chicken Brown Cow!
You’re so cruel. I’m trying to lose the weight, okay?
oops. sorry about that.
Brown broccoli? Yow!
[Phail] I dont get the fail, someone take a minute out of their busy masterbating session and explain it to me. [/Phail]
Sarcasm?
Well, the glove size is not certainly for kids, is it?
That depends on the size of the shoe in relation to the aformentioned glove. If it was a child’s shoe then we can assume the glove is rather small in nature. However we also can note the size of the tiles on the ground which typically measure 12″ x 12″. Thus drawing the conclusion that not only is our first hypothesis incorrect but these gloves belong to someone of a rather large stature. Typically these people are sports or public official icons. Therefore we can also tag this with, Role Model fail.
Explanation win.
Upon further scientific analysis, I find that your summation of the painfully obvious floor tile sizing is accurate, and also conclude that it is very rare that this type of tile resides anywhere other than on the ground. Careful inspection of the given photo provides us the fact that the gloves are either, indeed, on the ground, or that gravity was temporarily suspended for the duration of this photograph.
I thank you, in the name of all that is dear and analytical, for your astute and timely informational diatribe.
I thank you for your generous comments and hope that in future attempts of ANALytical studies I can provide a clear and concise result for which ones head may successfully be wrapped around if indeed that were possible. Furthermore, I also appreciate your poignant and astute observation of my analysis regarding said tile and that I did not mention it in relative placement with the ground, nor temporarily suspended regardless of conventional gravitational constants.
I look forward to our next beratement of a photograph and its inadequacies in hopes that it will be as equally fulfilling in our scrutinous and determinative assessment. Additionally I hope our explanations will not be taken tautologically in efforts to educate the meager.
Cheers!
I need a drink. *has 15th screwdriver* damn those scissors…
Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
*writes note to self: “Left-handed girls are promiscuous”*
Well, it would make sense, then, that right-handed women would be tighter.
*snerk*
I can vouch for that.
*bow*
my head hurts after reading these ^^^ lolz
*head asplodes*
Damn, there goes another infertile man.
A sad day… a sad day indeed.
i think its more likely the fact that they are child predator gloves. child predator as in a paedophile. and yes paedophile is spelt right so don’t try correct me on it
I won’t correct your spelling but I would like to introduce you to the Shift key. It makes typing fun and helps identify the beginning of sentences and Nouns!
Grammar Fail.
What, you’re writing in German now?
Haha, WIN.
If you’re really going make a point of being an ass about spelling, have some balls, go all the way, insist on the diphthong and write pædophile.
There are a few reasons it fails.
Predator is not a childs movie, so why make merchendise for children? The title of the gloves suggest preying on children, and then HELLO pedos!
“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
~ Mae West
Well, I’ve got a good hand… Why don’t you come on up and see me some time?
Come up and see me, make me smiiiiiiiiiile.
Great, now I’m thinking about sex and Trump at the same time.
well if you’re talking about Ivana Trump, that’s a Win! The Donald, on the other hand…*vomits*
eww…. that could go horribly wrong…
How is that even possible?
Channel surfing while looking at porn?
Could be dangerous. I mean, what if you stop on “Lets Make a Deal” reruns. You could get a hernia.
Euuurgh.
Is that the same as Deal or no Deal?
Nah older show. People would dress up like retards and get to choose whats behind 3 doors, or what some douche has in a box. Of course they would choose the box and end up with a cheese straitener. Host was Monty Hall.
WTF is a cheese straitener?
A close relation to a turnip twaddler.
And the cervix mitten?
I thought cervix mitten was some sort of crazy European term we dont use here in the colonies, like Bonnet, Lift, or Petrol.
What? We use “bonnet” and “lift”. Granted, we don’t use them to mean what we call “hood” and “elevator”, but we still use them.
I wish ‘cervix mitten’ was a crazy ‘European’ (do you mean British?) term.
Sadly it’s just another failblog meme.
…for now…
thx loz!
Bloom County reference WIN!!
I’m going to miss Opus.
Great, now I’m thinking about fruits and vegetables at the same time.
Richard Simmons with a severed spine?
So wrong, but so funny at the same time.
Ah, sweet Juses. That was funny.
*snooooooooooooooooooooooorrrk!!*
I am so appalled, or will be once I stop laughing.
very happy i didn’t grab that soda a minute ago, or my desk would be an even bigger mess
Oh God… That was hilarious…
Oh man! I couldn’t breathe enough to try my response for a good 5 minutes there. That was great. I have to see how I can use that in my daily life at some point.
Do you think they’ll both fit in the shopping basket?
I’m still waiting for a “everyone posting below this point is gay” comment. I guess they filter those now.
Every Loz posting below this point is bisexual.
…geez, thanks. You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut.
I’m not sure it was a big secret anyway, was it?
No, but having it put out there so plainly makes Loz a target for harassment from idiots who think bisexuals are all $luts.
*puts head in pudding bukkit*
Great, now I’m thinking about Loz and POB and Dragon at the same time.
Feel free to add yourself into that fantasy
Mind if I bring the Admiral? *grin*
A failblog orgy! A forgy!
Wait…a forgery?
This can’t be real.
Check out my huge phaillus.
Spell fail? Lie on your penis fail?
Phallus maybe?
Loki looky in vain for the big vain vein.
Eh. I was trying for a phallus+FAIL combo. I should’ve gone with FAILus.
I smelled what you were stepping in.
And it twern’t pretty.
i want in
Said the Admiral.
If you’re grinnin’, I’m bare’n it.
lol, it makes me happy
Well, it’s not exactly secret is it?
.
Then again, I guess I can see why you might not want it broadcast so plainly. Too many idiots out there who think bisexual = slut.
.
*goes off to put head in pudding bukkit, after removing foot from mouth*
Oh and thank you failblog for taking 15 minutes to post this comment.
*puts head back in pudding bukkit*
Haha, oh pob, I was only joking.
It’s no secret. Bi, bi, sir american pie.
Damnit, you had me convinced that I offended you somehow. It really bothered me that I had seemingly hurt you, and it was a slow day at work, so I had plenty of oppurtunity to fret! (And of course, just my luck, your revealation that you were just yanking my chain (and not in our usual sexy way!) came just about the time I was heading out the door!)
She pulled that with me when I was a newbie and I thought I’d offended her irreparably. But now, I just assume she’s always, always kidding.
If you’re buying, I’m sexual
Im trisexual…. I will try anything once.
Don’t you mean thrice?
Everyone posting above this point is potentially gay.
Ceci n’est pas un commentaire.
i’m posting below this point and am openly
Predator hand for children… Maybe they should have thought about what “child predator” is.
Are you trying to threaten dillettante?
remember when I watched “To Catch a Predator”.
remember when she slipped and fell on her butt.
Like I can remember that when I’m thinking about fruits and vegetables at the same time.
Is this a threat?!
Richard Sim… oh, wait, that joke’s been taken. Crap.
Made in China…
Clean floor FAIL
I wonder if it comes with a snap tube of children’s tears just in case you need some form of lubricant…
If only child predators were so easily identifiable by their leathery reptilian hands.
They are. You might refere to them as “Lawyers”
WIN!
Failblog user – handle: Loki, on the 26th day of the month of September of the year two-thousand-and-eight A.D. at ten-fifty-nine am Pacific Standard Time, on the World Wide Web site Failblog.org (Uniform Resource Locator – *http://failblog.org/2008/09/26/gloves-fail/#comment-115778*) has posted a comment that is, without a trace of doubt, WIN!
*small bow*
Why don’t you trade that in for a compound bow? Much more impressive!
Oooo Maybe a +12 to demons Compound Bow with a compass in the stock!!
I’m a horrible archer. Just give me a crossbow instead, I’m good with those.
I used to be quite an archer in my dissolute youth…I wish I could have kept it up in my dissolute adulthood.
One of the reasons the Mongols were such a devastating military force was the fact they had compound bows which could launch arrows almost twice the distance of their adversaries.
.
… and the fact they could sleep on their ponies during march.
.
… and could drink their ponies blood to sustain them.
.
… and would wear silk shirts two sizes too big, such that when they
were shot with an arrow, the fabric would enter the wound with the arrowhead, and the arrow could then be removed by pulling the silk shirt back out.
And here I thought that it was only men that fretted about not having “…kept it up in…” their adulthood. Learn something everyday.
You could always go hang out with Ted Nugent!
longbow is looooong
Is someone lonely?
yes. I need a hug.
*hug!*
I don’t think that was the kind of hug that was being implied but if that’s all it takes can I have one too?
I’m more of a darts person myself, not too deadly by themselves, but put a little poison on the tips and I’m good to go.
Hooray! Somebody here understands lawspeak!
Nothing to-rt.
That was good. They should put up a statute in your honor.
I like chocolate torts myself.
I’ll take the strawberry tart (and as long as she sighs a consent)
Fuzz? Why are you hiding on old threads?
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
now that’s just hilarious….
This is somewhat unrelated but, why should Failblog cap commenting when it’s peoples browsers that fail.
(?)
Because its a coding fail that causes the browser to fail, not a browser fail by itself.
Now they have a cap fail because Police Fail says “capped at 300″ but it says 412 comments…
They’re just a bit slow to realise that we’ve exceeded the 300.
you’d think they would have automated it…
and for what it’s worth, my browser hasn’t ever crashed, though occasionally it will lock up for 10 seconds when it tries to display the “mpire” ad, whatever that is for… i have a great ad filter, it’s called my brain, i just don’t notice them (unless they’re stopping my browser from responding…)
I’ve noticed that whenever my browser hangs (never has crashed though) in loading a page, it’s either accessing the gravatar site or one of the ad locations.
how hung IS your browser?
I know. This is madness!
It says capped AFTER 300. No mention of how long after.
OMMISSION OF TIME FAIL!
There’s that damn fine print again, where’s my lawyer? RogueThree! you
around anywhere? (besides being a round toit)
Sorry, I’m not a lawyer. I just play one on the Internet.
That’s cool, I’m not a girl, I just play one on the internet.
After I make a few (sometimes only one) comments I get the PAGE NOT FOUND screen and can’t get back in. Is this the problem others are having? It’s a real ache in the posterior. I know that I’ve female dogged about this before.
To catch a child alien.
How do you catch a child alien? Do you go into chat rooms pretending to be a fluffy bunny?
You go to sci-fi chat rooms pretending to be a child Predator and see if any child Aliens want to be in a monster movie.
No, you wait for his raft to drift to Florida from Cuba.
hehe Alien Gonzales???
illegal Elián!
I can’t believe I remember that. I mean, I was ten or eleven years old at the time…
…starring Sigourney Weaver.
“They mostly come out at night….mostly.”
Let’s hope she got better.
Was she a newt?
She was a Newt, this is true.
She newt.
she was a newtist
GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
You anti-newtite!
*denewts*
*newters*
oops, sorry.
Don’t say that word around my cat, he’s still a little sensitive about that.
I’d be sensitive, too, if someone cut off my testicles.
*does the Newtron dance*
Wait, wouldn’t you be less sensitive? I mean maybe not right away but in the end.
RogueThree: “I’d be sensitive, too, if someone cut off my testicles.”
.
I think he wonders why I call it “getting fixed”. Everything was working fine before and afterward not so much. That’s not getting fixed, that’s being broken.
*sigh*…. Newtless? CMON!
“69 Failures in Communication »”
Failblog gets in on the act.
One must wonder what the red underline is concealing. It appears there may be more potentially humorous text under there.
So THAT’S what Michael Jackson was trying to cover up by wearing a glove on one hand!
That joke was so bad. Why don’t you just beat it?
Here is another bad one:
When is it bedtime in Neverland?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
Chris Hanson HELP!!!!
He can give you a hand….
Looks to me like this is a condom for molesting children that you can use five times in a row. (I feel bad for writing that but it’s done now.)
I feel more stupid for reading that.
Yet you’re just as stupid as before!
So… I didnt become more stupid?
Curious…these look suspiciously like the gloves used in the Thriller music video…I wonder.
LOL!
So that’s when it all began.
Not a fail, the cabin was at the base of the mountain long before the avalanche hit.
Ill have what he’s having.
Are you sure about that? Sounds scary.
Wouldn’t you rather see mountain cabins than child predators?
*giggle*
Silly toy company.
you’re so cute when you giggle
Talk about creepy…
Sitting on a park bench…..
Was he bad in tents?
No. He just had snot running down his nose
But he see’s it’s only me.
We could probably keep this up tull Jethro comes home.
to tull the field.
*cough, cough*
I think I’ve got water in my lungs
*kills self*
right
*gives mouth-to-mouth ‘cuz I know she’s DYING for it*
*still dead, you’ll have to do better*
Ah, there they are!
Once upon a time, when I worked at a children’s camp, I had a large green minivan. I always had candy in there, just because I like candy. Whenever I would drive my minivan around camp, people would look at my like I was some sort of bad person. I didn’t understand.
Now it all comes to me.
and so do the children.
Holy crap, did you ever get pulled over or anything?
Okay, so if the child predator hands are right there, we have nothing to worry about, right?
It’s not so much the hands that are the problem.
*is deeply afraid*
I see what is odd about this but I think nothing of it, probably because i used to work at a halloween store.
well….thanks for sharing
I have the same shoes!
Was the shoe in the picture needed? I think not.
gary glitter has some of these
Pedobear’s ultimate weapon.
Someone found my hands!! I can’t touch, I mean, ummm… Nevermind! I said nevermind! I SAID NEVERMIND!!
LOL ! CHILD SIZE MY FOOT ! Literally !