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Firs?
Actually, I think it was probably reverse.
lol at ‘probably reverse’
awesome
2 firsts at the same time.
wtf.
Error: please type a comment.
ur all idiots
like your mom.
FIRST and lol
i hate you and lol
damn i should have written “i hate you” w/ caps on.
You’d better shut up and lol
“thats what your mom said” and lol
No U… an…. must ressist…. argh…!!! and lol…!
That’s what she said! and lol!
How exactly does that work, what with loling being something, by its very definition, done out loud?
stfu’n'lol
lol and lol
no, “YOU’RE” a verb. Lrn2spll or gtfo kplsthxbai
Lrn2answer the RIGHT comment kthxNAP.
Lol fail… lol
thats what your mom sa…. damn, selfowned. haha. and lol.
lol fail lol
He shuts up.
I lol.
(“to lol” is a verb, did you know?)
no, your a verb! and lol.
no, your is a pronoun. lol is a verb
Nouns are allowed on the beach but adjectives are forbidden
You’re a noun
Your mom is a direct object.
Engrish reference win!
I think “lol” is a compound verb.
STOP drop and lol
:lolsturbates:
this first post thing has become a fad around here and lol
be funny if the criminal guy drove off when the cops car rolled away
..and lol.
We can’t be entirely sure the fellow he pulled over is a criminal. As stated “Innocent until proven guilty”.
Revise, I guess only if you contest the moving violation.
The FAILrefs have reviewed the play and determined that it is, in fact, SECOND and lol.
::snicker::
you forgot the “and lol”.
you, too, forgot “and lol” and lol
He doesn’t LOL that way.
it’s just a LOL to the right
You eskimo lol? I mostly flat water paddle.
Can you do a Barrel lol?
You’re a barrel
A barrel of lols?
Actually, I have done countless times.
I LOVE SEX!
It’s a pity that sex doesn’t love you…
Burn?
aw, take it easy, it was probably his first time…at age 40
Damn right sherminator
You called?
Yeah, but how do you KNOW if you love it? I mean, how can you say you love something if you’ve never even had it?
I know that they keep upgrading the terminator models, but genitalia? How would the engineers get that past the budget committee?
*snert*
I assume they’re german.
rofl
John Conner had one special designed for Lars.
(You may wish to contact the R&D folks at realdollDOTcom.)
BOTW (and LOL)
It’s like poker: you love it when you have a great hand.
poker? she wouldn’t let me
Maybe it’s conceptual Avis, I mean you seem to love your wit without ever really having any
ease off my Avis
She’s very witty. You’re just jealous.
Got your back, Avis.
And she definitely has a dragon at her back.
Avis is a beloved member of this blog family. You mess with her, you mess with us.
Awwwww, you guys are great. Thank you!!!!
Hey, all for one, and one for all!
(plus I’m still getting to stand next to dragon. Teehee!)
How do you do that one?
:*oops*: but without the asterkisses.
Well, first you get embarrased…
:tounge:
Damnit!! It didn’t work!!!
It might if you spelled tongue right.
I know, I know.
*hangs head in shame*
Hey, it’s OK. We’re friends now, so I’ll let it pass just this once.
:tongue:
crap.
*SNORT!!*
ROFFLE!
I got my comeuppance at the hands of emoticons.
WOW. I didn’t think that would work, in fact I didn’t even mean for it to work
^ his wood worked
Never failed me yet.
(knock on… oh wait on that)
Knocking?! You’re doing it wrong
Just don’t knock on the fail door. It’s liable to swing open and you’ll fall in mid senten
Dragonwriter: “And she definitely has a dragon at her back.”
And one not to be trifled with:
She don’t take no prisoners
Gonna give me the business
Got a dragon on my back
It’s a dragon attack
(for those of you who think that Bohemian Rhapsody is the only song Queen did.)
Queen is simply killer. Like dynamite with a laser beam, they’re guaranteed to blow your mind any time.
With fried chicken.
I loves me some breast pieces.
Oh, and the fried chicken ain’t bad either.
You seem a little bitter… I wonder why that could be?
Maybe he’s having a period. Or missing one.
Wouldn’t he need to have gotten laid for that one? And aren’t we relatively sure THAT hasn’t happened?
a classy, witty retort from the young man known as The Rogue.
I should make that my superhero name.
Only if you suck the life-force out of people you touch.
Too much worm in his wood.
All worm and no wood.
Not enough to make good Absinthe in either case.
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder
He is probably referring to the Latin word for six. Mayhaps six is his lucky number.
God knows that it couldn’t be anything else.
but…. you never had sex….
*nestolgic*
Ah, I remember sex…
I remember back in the halcyon days of my youth, I hooked up with this gorgeous Irish girl. She was a real classy lady, too, the kind that could stimulate both your body and your mind.
*snort*
Halcyon days of your youth!
You mean yesterday?
*raelalt is glad he wasn’t taking a drink while reading Avis’ comment*
You know…… we have a video of PoB and Loz around here somewhere…… didn’t you want that tape Raelalt?
Kewl! Youtube it.
I recall she used to sit on my lap and we’d talk about the first thing that popped up.
Wait… the FIRST thing? You have more than one?
*wonders how Dragon made that wide-eyed emoticon*
(It’s “:”shock”:” … without the quotation marks)
And, Avis, dear naive birdy, they were using public cybernet technology — thepowerofpabst may simply have gone digital.
Thank you! I have mentioned that I’m not computer savvy before right? I’ll try to remember this though.
I wonder if :tongue: or
will turn into a tongue-sticking-out smilie…
*looks forward to giving his comments some of that old
amataz*
You called?
I think that’s what you get when you splice us together
Whatever that second one was, apparently…
:p
:”shock”:
:toung:
nifty fun time with emoticons
:shit-faced drunk:
denied
And I was so hoping to see that one.
:bi-curious:
darn
:naked ladyrazzle:
darn
:beer sandwich:
darn
:Nathan Fillion in my bed:
Darn.
Darn.
:realalt not pissed off at us:
darn
:great big hug for Avis:
Yay!
:shiny:
Gorramit!
:New season of Firefly taking place before the events of Serenity:
God ruttin’ dam.
…n
Thank you Dragon! :hugs:
New season of Serenity??? Seriously? Awesome, when?
*ahem* Firefly?????
No. No new season. It’s just a pipe dream.
*cries*
*cries as well* *theme song plays in head*
:Curses:
You had me hoping just for a minute there
:evil Rogue:
Darn.
:fixed hole in sock:
Darn!
:thinks of something witty to say:
Pissflaps.
You don’t.
Me about forget.
Club Breakfast
remember when they pondered the error of their ways.
Song and dance helped them heal.
When you’re in the police force, it’s all about being effective… Why waste time using the handbrake when you’re after bad guys?
So that your car doesnt roll away
Surely saving a car is pretty affective?
Pfft, hahahaha… Who in hell cares about the car when there’s BAD GUYS to catch!?
Catching that hardened criminal is worth at least ten cop cars.
Absolutely, corner cutting freak!
Too right! Just ask Jake and Ellwood.
“Affective” is how the cop felt when his brain slipped out of gear.
Well said, I’m thinking there was no gear slippage in the car.
Yeah, I imagine it would affect a lot of things. Though it would be a lot better if it was effective.
The poice officer probably used his foot on the hand brake.
thanks, i couln’t figure out how to make that reference withouth the awesome pictogram
WIN!
FIRST
GIGANTORFAIL!!!!
failure at life?
become a small-town cop.
He’s from the small town of Houston, TX
Well then his faliure just makes perfect sense then. xD
Not saying the Mounted SFPD are intimidating or anything, but still this is just sad.
RUN FAILCRUISER RUN!!!
FOR FREEDOM!!!
And for great justice.
And for doughnuts.
LOL!!
So, the cop is giving a ticket to someone for “cutting corners” but he drove away from the scene of an accident?
He had a train to catch.
Do you know how long it takes for a driverless police cruiser to slow down?
It would probably depend on the land speed of an unladen police cruiser.
African or European?
What? Are you suggesting an unladen poice car carries coconuts?
When I read your posts, I imagine bubbles coming out of your avatar’s mouth and the fins moving ever so slightly to allow stationkeeping. Just sayin’ your avatar is animated without it having to be so.
I need more sleep.
Captain? It’s apparent we have an obvious case of sleepyment.
slope, friction of the grounf surface, etc…
And how full the tank was at the time, have to calculate the inertial effects as well.
And whether or not the “L” was there.
K was there.
But she hasn’t been HERE for a while now! Where is she?
gone undergrounf
I knew someone was going to nail abstract with that, it was just a question of who and how long before it happens.
Phoo…fuzz beat me to it.
*bops fuzz*
*then hugs fuzz, just ‘cuz*
You have a great gift for rhyme.
People tell me that all the time.
No more rhymes, and I mean it!
Anybody want a peanut?
I’d say about a mile, at regular speed.
Ahh but is that an African or European Car?
If damage is less than 500 USD, no need to report.
But what if it’s OVER 9000!!!!?
What, nine thousand?
See, he HAD to write the ticket. SOMEONE had to pay for the damage to the rear-end of the cruiser!
I wonder who paid for the damage to the rear-end of the historic dockyard worker.
The poker.
Did he pay?
*thwacks self with halibut*
I MEANT to say:
Srsly? :[
Do not laugh at this mistake.
May we snicker?
Please do!
*hands fluffy a candy bar*
You’re in good hands with Allstate…
Put it in PARK, Sir! Did you hear what tune was on the radio?
WIN.
Epic win.
“Jumped out of gear” must be police code for “I’m a dumb ass and forgot to put it in park.”
Precisely. Sounds like something I would have told my dad when I smacked up the truck when I was 16.
looks more like a police car self driving win for me!
“it jumped out of gear…”
Yeh…. that happens ALL the time to me…
sheeesh
KNIGHT RIDER WIN!!!
o_o mister sausage! *masturbates*
It “slipped” out of gear. Hmmm. “I didn’t shoot my husband officer, the gun went off all by itself.”
LOLOL!!
“E-brake? Never heard of it.”
I’d have liked to see the damage done, I doubt the language would have been quite like that had there been little to no damage.
More damage done to his ego than the car.
So who’s the bigger fail, this cop or me as a constable yesterday? :p
At least this guy’s baton still works.
My baton scares the girls from the yard
And they’re like “It couldn’t keep the interest of Loz!”
You, my friend, are a flat-out genius.
But not a flatfoot genius, apparently.
And he thinks he can give that guy a ticket after that?
He should lose a weeks pay for it, cause the moment that happened to anyone else that wasn’t a cop he’d ticket them as well!
Maybe if the cop hadn’t been cutting corners he’d have remember to pull the hand brake.
We have too many people on failblog who compulsively pull the hand brake.
I am going to go pull it right now.
Not if I pull it first
cop cars dont have ‘hand’ brakes.
oh? really…even the manual transmission ones? then how do they ever keep the cars from roling away?
I don’t think any police car in america has a manual transmission anymore… possible exceptions might be the high-speed interceptor types, but this was not one of those.
We have fighter jets in our police forces? Damn, this country’s awesome!
because freedom is the ONLY way
and it costs a buck-o-five
good thing it’s not a buck-o-nine… that would just be redundant.
abstract, I think you meant “rofling away”
No, that would be the police choppers…
Not the poice?
Is this where the soi-soi-soi comment goes? I can never remember
Oh no, fluffy’s missed a period, too! There must be a rapist on the loose!
The Rapist, for $1000?
They still have a parking brake on the floor on the far left, I believe. I don’t have an automatic transmission car so this is just from memory.
But isn’t that a handbrake, too?
Yes, mdk is just very literal.
E-BRAKE
This is old…
Yeah, I get kind of sick of seeing these fails we’ve seen a million times end up on fail blog.
There’s a first aid kit if you’re feeling ill. I’d be REALLY careful opening it though.
WIN
There was a young lady named Avis,
Who warned Meh regarding the Apis.
Meh just ignored,
Because he was bored.
And fatally non compos mentis.
*grins*
*applauds!*
Your turn!
There once was a gent, name of raealt,
Whose genius no failblogger could fault,
He joked and he punned
(And was nicely tight-bunned!)
A gentleman well worth his salt!
There once was a man from Nantucket…
I can’t think of a rhyme… f*ck it.
There once were some folks on the ‘net
who decided they were a matched set
They banded together,
through all kinds of weather,
to many a tigrs regret.
W00t!!
Excellently done!
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept his pudding in a bukkit
But his daughter, named Nan
A carrying this can,
One day slipped. The bukkit? Nan chucked it.
I lol’d!
“There once was a gent, name of raealt,”
.
Very well done, and I believe this is the first time anyone ever
wrote a poem for me.
::kissy-face::
The lady, she offered her honor;
The gent, he honored her offer.
And raelalt through the night,
Till the dawn’s rosy light,
Was gently on her and off her.
I feel honored right now…
(and I ain’t gettin’ offer.)
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…!
He’s gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.
yeah, i’ve seen this before too… but it still made me laugh. go find some happiness.
Everything old is new again.
There is nothing new under the sun.
To everything, there is a season…
Your MOM is old!
Why didn’t he just yell FREEZE
Global warming. Duh.
I tried. I really did. I just couldn’t come up with anything nearly as funny as this. That was very nicely done. Bravo!
HAH! Agreed!
“Jumped outta gear”..?! Who the hell parks a car IN gear? o_O
Too embarrassed to say “I left the handbrake off”, Daddy Cool?
Also, why does he run like he’s in a photo-finish toilet dash?
If I’m ever caught being naughty in America, I sure hope this is the officer hot on my heels.
Don’t worry grey kid. You aren’t dark enough to have the American police on your heels.
Touche.
You can only be naughty with hot officers in Vegas.
A lot of people – if your handbrake fails, being in gear should help!
Unless your car is running, then it could be problematic.
All cars with manual gear box are parked IN gear
Not all, mine is – and only because the parking brake is FAIL. Cars with manual transmissions CAN be parked in gear, but in no way it can jump out! I bet his car is automatic transmission, which makes it even funnier. Automatic transmissions doon’t have hard clutches, so parking in “gear” is the same as park in neutral…
Maybe sir officer meant that he almost put a parking “gear” on the auto transmission and it slipped out?
Most probably yes.
wow, how much experience do you have with cars? all automatic cars have a park gear. many people with manualo transmission cars will put their car in a forward gear in addition to using the hand break when on an incline. Either way, you fail.
manual , sorry for the typo
Yes, but on ‘park’ gear on an automatic, isn’t that neutral? As in, a gearstick position, but not technically a gear as such? And I’ve never heard of anyone leaving a manual in gear, that’s a total liability if you have memory fail like me – you’ll just lurch forward and crush your cat/kids/front porch when you start ‘er up!
Err, I always leave my (manual) car in gear when I park. It doesn’t take a genius to remember to put the clutch in when you start the engine (or put it in neutral before turning the engine on).
Ditto! Really anoyingly the gf insists on always leaving her car in nuetral, so whenever she gets in mine she screws up. And whenever I drive hers I leave it in gear which annoys the hell out of her.
“Sorry for cutting that corner, the thing just slipped… you understand!”
Man, I loved Chris Farley, RIP.
Wobble wobble
Are you sure this isn’t an outtake from Reno 911? LOL!!!!
yes, because it was actually funny.
Win
So it’s not just me, I kept getting told how funny that show was so finally I
broke down and watched it (not big on TV and absolutely hate sit-coms). What boring drivel.
That show doesn’t belong on Comedy Central. A show has to be funny to be considered comedy.
They also have Mind of Mencia, so clearly somebody in the quality control department is slacking off.
There’s alot of crap on Comedy Central. Only things worth watching are South Park and some of the comedians, but even then it’s hit and miss with both.
Hit: Zach Galifianakis
yeah, I’d hit: that ^
I wouldn’t, but that’s just not how I roll. To each, his own.
and by “that,” I don’t mean some joker :[
and by "hit," I do mean some poke 'er ;]
You poke…you may!
The only funny thing about it is the local Reno station plays it in syndication. I’m sure the cops there must appreciate that. Then again, maybe they are like the cops on the show…
They wear hot-pants?
So true….
Yeeeeeah, that guy didn’t get off with a warning.
Pissed Cop DNE Giving Cop.
Thirty-seventh!!!
This was not a fail. The cop was on a roll. Well at least his car was, k?
More of a buttered croissant I would think, by the way he was running.
*puff* You were *wheeze* cutting *trying yet again to catch breath* corners and you *heavy breath* can’t do that.
and of course, cutting a corner is far more dangerous than leaving your car in neutral when you get out…
The way the officer was running after his car you’d think it was loaded with donuts.
I’m guessing that someone he works with doesn’t like him too much. Because surely he wouldn’t have submitted this to YouTube or FailBlog himself.
It was submitted by the car – it just jumpted out of the video recorder by itself somehow.
Spelling fail noted.
I’m guessing you can’t say you love something if you’ve never jumpted its bones and bumpted its junk and maybe humpted its rumpt.
That’s correcpt.
That’s a really good point! I thought you could only submit police video to the public if you beat someone up.
In Soviet Russia cars run after cops !
In my dreams when I was ten, cars ran after me!
And by, “jumped out of gear,” you mean, “I’m incompetent.”
Jumped outta gear my ass. Lazy fat ass cop deserves that shit.
dmn still at the age of ten such a fxxxed up mind
“jumped out of gear”…and must have taken off the parking break too…back to writing a ticket and ignoring my blatant hypocrisy
It would have been even funnier had the cop been tethered to the car and then dragged by the car.
At least then he might have cursed more creatively.
Yeah. Uttering a single swear per phrase is so dull…
“Son of a nutcracker!…”
Truth is you have to feel bad for the cop.
In hindsight, to cover his ass he should have offered the guy he pulled over a deal: I’ll let you go with a warning if you agree to say that you rear-ended me, through nobody’s fault, and that’s how my car got banged up.
Marc: “you agree to say that you rear-ended me, through nobody’s fault”
.
Surprise butt sechs for both?
A brilliant ANALogy.
Yeah, you should register it.
You forgot an “r”.
and here, take the dash cam tape……right. that would not be an investigation..missing footage..nah
taxpayers money at its best
This is a fail in 2 ways
1. He forgot to pull it in to park
2. He is clearly unfit to be a cop since he runs like a little girl.
Jumped out of gear my left nonexistent testicle. Yea my car crashed its self into the wall too on time. I had nothing to do with it, i told it to stop but it was like shut up im doin it!
Umm…but a right testicle you have???
I just love this with both my existent testicles too much –
I’m gonna be crashing into a wall too on time … and then I’m gonna be late crashing into it too much … and then I’ll be all like crashing into it early too much … so like shut up im doin it!
rofl
My also-existent testicles and i wanted to laugh at this comment. Then they changed their mind and tried to make me stop because for on thing it was making fun of somebody, i told em i didn’t care and shut up im doin it!
(yea, my username failed in crashing into this party too much, but i’m fine, just my
fuzz jumped out its self concept gear for a moment)
Shoulda used the hand-fuzz, maybe that wouldn’t have happened. On a related note, I’m pretty sure Mister Sausage has hand-fuzz from all the masturbating he’s been doing.
speaking of, where is mr s.a.u.s.a.g.e.?
You don’t wanna know…
Hand-fuzz? Your mom lied to you.
Damn you woke him up.
Leave woke him up out of this…
Oh, I am awake *polishes morning wood*
Phhrrrfffft.
Reminds me of my mate.
‘I – I DID do it, but – but, miss, I didn’t do it at all! It was-’ *looks around classroom* ‘-HER-’ *points at me* ‘-who did it. See, she slipped and pressed the ‘ON’ button, and … IT WASN’T ME!’
Yeah, great support.
Rofl. … Or should I be saying ‘lol’?
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL.
?? what are you taking about?
talking
He’s taking about a minute of his life away by posting that.
What a disappointment. I was hoping for the cop car to do a triple lutz with a semi…
Stupid Pig of a cop. He didn’t put it in PARK and it rolled out into moving traffic, he’s lucky he didn’t hurt or kill someone. YET, he was all about writing that ticket. This is why people hate Pigs. Two kinds of people want to become them, good people who want to do good, or pigs. Frankly too many of the later and they turn the good ones into Pigs too.
Why do you hate pigs so much? After all, they give us bacon.
And ham. Can’t forget about ham.
And Pork. Where would we be without the other white meat?
Jewish, perhaps. That’s a creative handle, by the way.
Ooh, yeah, right… a wonderful, magical animal.
Abbie Hoffman? Is that you?
Oh…dilly-dear?
I have something for you.
*HUG!!!!*
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I liked Abbie Hoffman. And I don’t think he hated anyone, just strongly disagreed with them on occasion.
.
RIP
It was the “Pigs” I was reminded by, liked him too. I totally stole that book.
Didn’t he write Steal This Kiss … oh, no, wait … that was that other me.
I wish someone would wrap you up to go.
“SHIT!!! GOD DAMMIT DX”
Slipped gear my ASS.
“Get off your ass and jam!”
…and LOL!
I see what you did there, Fuzz. And you really are Sparky, aren’t you. And Ben, too.
Parking brake, emergency brake, handbrake, whatever you call it, this cop should have pulled it. Putting it in PARK is a somewhat unreliable way to keep a car from moving. Not as funny as, for example, the calculus fail (search for CALCULUS in the keyword search thing), but still, FAIL.
stupid pig.
Don’t call me stupid! *goes into a tirade about the UK speaking German if it wasn’t for us.*
*wouldn’t mind speaking Japanese* *reads Man in the High Castle*
*dangles USAsuxs out the window by the ankles and makes him apologize*
Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement.
That’s the Elephant and Castle
Did you know that’s a bastardization of “Infanta de Castille”? Just found that out.
Oh Roguey, you assume only the Brits hate America?
*puts a Canadian flag patch on his backpack*
Oh wow, now you’re even more attractive!
*sighs*
Despite W’s best efforts, I still love this country.
“Just jumped out of gear.”
Yup. Because Ford Crown Victorias have been known to jump out of gear, and there’s no way the deputy just slapped it into neutral instead of park.
Right, my good sir/ma’am, because you are, without a doubt, the paramount subject matter expert on all things Ford. No one should doubt your piercing, unerring interpretation of the abundant visual evidence presented herein.
*bows in homage*
Oh my.
*grins*
Let me buy you a drink. Beer, wine, or Scotch?
You’ve got a “thing” for well-spoken individuals. Don’t you?
*grins*
I just thought he’d fit in well with the gang!
*grins back*
*whispers*
But yes, in fact, I rather do!
I must say, I agree! With both sentiments.
Say Farva, you wanna take this dispatch?
Tsk tsk, some cops do not act as real cops. Some guys at the police force need re-training.
Some cops from wealthy nations like America are no better than poorly trained cops in a third world country.
Acceptable!
Been a while since I could post a comment on a fail that I can relate to.
All too well..
Woulda been kinda funny if the car hit another police car. then he’d have to explain it! XD ROFL job fail, unemployment check win!
what balls?
Bad Cop! No Doughnut!
Who puts these videos on internet? oO
You have balls.
I like balls.
Stupid Pig. It didn’t jump out of gear, the dumb pig didn’t put it in park. I hate US cops, I love when stuff like this happens to them.
win!
You repeat yourself.
why don’t you say shit a few more tiems that might help. jk, i’d be cursing and screaming worse then him
Thank You. I hate cops. What a putz.
not only incompetent, but a liar.
tourettes win
i waz gonna bcome a cop but i desidid to stay in hi skool lol
so the cop was wearing a mic? i’m finding this a bit suspicious
That’s offensive, but yeah I agree.
Dude…I’d have been out of that ticket so easily….
[Fast Forward]
“Hmm…well your honor, what would you say is worse, cutting through parking lots carefully to avoid traffic lights? Or allowing my vehicle to roll uncontrollably onto a public road and damaging city property?”
Case closed…cops are not allowed to put the public in more danger than the original infraction. This is why high speed chases get cut short.
Oh and if I was that guy, I’d have pulled out and left. Two reasons, the officer’s signals were off during a traffic stop, and he’d have a hell of a time explaining how I got around his car in order to flee and elude. [You have the right to subpoena video footage...even if they say the camera wasn't turned on]
‘jumped outa gear” my ass…He never engaged into park but left it in neutral.
…and he still has the nerve to site the other driver for something petty….FAIL!!!!!
I would have gone to jail before I let that prick write me a ticket.
my bad there man, I misread it so calm down
Круто! Хотелось бы побольше таких же интересных сообщений
uhh leaving the scene of an accident?
say no to tickets!
“Jumped out of gear”!!!! Put the parking brake on doofus! Classic. And he still books the guy for cutting a corner!
police is fail by definition..
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