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Please, sir, how may I adopt this, um… dog?
with fish
I can haz dog?
It looks like a cow to me
Meet the Parents: “I had no idea you could milk a cat.”
“I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?”
Are you offering?
ITS A TRAP!
Thank you, Admiral Akbar.
A reference of which you must clarify the source, is not worth making!
Would you like to adopt this Gurnsey Cat?
conga rats uz frist how will u b sillybrayshuning?
Wait a minute. This isn’t ichc.
No it isn’t. Go sunbathe.
Or alternatively, join the army.
Well I looked into this army thing and it seems to all be about getting raped, physically abused, possibly murdered during training and then spending some time getting shot at in the middle east before being sent away for 6 months to ride a bike around the Falklands. Problem is, I don’t really like penguins so I’ve discounted that as a career choice. Thanks for thinking of me though.
X
You mean the Navy – see the FAIL above!
Edit – just saw Tom Trifik post – darn it!
Ah! You are clever as well, just tardy.
Yet again, Spaz, you appear to have missed the previous fail reference :p
I’m a victim of the interweb. That was my first post. So it’s actually my next post where again I failed to miss the previous fail reference if that makes any sense.
I fail at commenting
You’re great at spazzing, though — welcome to FB.
Does he get the welcome I got?
Spaz should join the British Navy for an alternative experience.
[see next fail]
That seaman is crazy! (Get it? Huh? Huh? Didja?)
no
Yeah, well that seaman sure did!@
Yup he did!
The seaman got the semen, because he admired the admiral.
Jamaican me crazy?
With my fair celtic complexion. I don’t think so.
That was my point. From Ad Placement Fail
Memory win! – By my standards anyway; I’d forgotten about that. Alzheimer’s win!
Now where did I put my keys…
what if the cat`s name is dog?!?!?! know a dog named cat!
I bought a dog the other day…I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him…’Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!’ He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
Maybe he’s just gotten smart instead of insane. Pressure has many effects.
All text with y-coordinates smaller than this dot —> . is fail.
that no dog if u ask me…
No, it’s an adoption WIN! Hello, kitty!
Do want!
Where’s the fail? I only see a little dog in a cage. Poor little dog.
Maybe it’s just me, but it looks a little bit like a kitten. Strange.
Umm…no, that’s definitely a bunny…
He’s probably pining for the fjords.
I don’t think he’s gone to meet his maker.
Beautiful plumage.
Let’s hope he’s securely nailed down or VOOM! He’ll be off.
Where’s the 20,000 volts? (Isn’t that the right amount?)
in the live recording, it’s 4 million
Later, it was discovered that the only reason it was lying down, was because it had been nailed there. If you’re not a dog person, we’ve also got a slug…
Even snails have orgies.
Norwegian Blue kitty?
Dog breeding just went horribly wrong.
I told you to stop trying to breed with dogs.
Nickelodeons CatDog Making his Petstore Premiere.
Aww, CatDog brings back memories.
Yeah! catdog FTW!
Now then, which FTW applies here?
1. Fuck The World!
2. For The Win.
3. What The Fuck? [backwards]
4. Free The Whales!
Please to clarify, which FTW are you using here?
1. F*ck The World!
2. For The Win.
3. What The F*ck? [backwards]
4. Free The Whales !
WTF? NOW it shows up!
[gives self a redundancy fail]
Weirdpress must have been hungry, but then …
Karen so you’re saying that it’s not my fault, right?
If you submit a post with swearing, it goes for moderation instead of showing up right away. Since your first post contained f**k uncensored, it took some time for someone to look at it and decide it was ok to post.
Cloral,
Thank you for your kind and succinct explanation. Since my first post didn’t show up magically quick like others have, I rewrote without the naughties so obvious. Now that I’m enlightened, I shall either curse less or wait longer.
Haha, remember that little smart-mouthed mouse?
Remember the dog’s littel television room when he went to bed.
I hated that mouse
you should have heard what that mouse was saying about you…..
Ooohhh, tell me! Tell me!!
There used to be a dog in there… and the kitty looks nice and fat… food chain reversal win!
Since when have dogs eaten cats? Lol.
I know several guys who aren’t afraid to eat pu$$y. They’re my dawgs, yo.
Isn’t it past your bedtime, pob?!
Well if you want me to leave, then fine! :p
Never! I’m only thinking of your best interests. Isn’t it really early there?
Yeah, but I work afternoons/evenings and I’m not a “morning” person (ie I’m reluctant to get out of bed after I wake up), so I usually end up sleeping in the late morning/early afternoon.
Ah I see. What do you work as?
I work at a bookstore.
Meet me between Romance and Travel
Those are actually on different floors at my store…maybe we could rendezvous at Sexuality?
or at women/death.
I guess Women/Death would kill the mood.
We’re sharing a brain, mr sausage.
Women?
*masturbates*
Well if the mood wasn’t killed before, it sure is dead now.
Just pray to god you don’t ever see her check out anything from the Pregnancy section…
pob, that pic of you looks like you have legolas hair lol.
I have a t-shirt over the top of my head, but I do have long hair.
Blonde?
I had fairly light blonde hair when I was a kid, but now it’s darker. Both of my sisters are brunettes.
Damn, my elven fantasy is quashed!
Well, my hair does tend to get lighter the more sun it gets. I once spent a summer working on a small farm, and when I went back to school in the fall everybody thought I had bleached my hair.
O RLY?
Oh I see what you did there
And what sound does a doggie make?
“Meow!”
what meow?
All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
Hee!! Super Troopers.
Super Mario Brothers… RPG!!!
Bowser: Gimme Mario!
Mario: Gimme frog coins!
Bowser: Gimme Mallow!!
Mario: Gimme frog coins!
Bowser: Gimme see ya!
Mario: Gimme frog coins!
Bowser: Gimme Geno!
Mario: Gimme cookies!
No, gimme a large Farva and a liter of cola! Does this look like spit to you?
*correction* I don’t want a large Farva, I want a god damn liter of cola!
Aha! You win this round. Hey, Charlie’s Angel.
And for 5 bucks Skary will go up there and call the guy a chicken-fuggler.
Am I jumping all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?!
Hi,
I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country, unfortunately I am not able to do harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me to other users.
Many thanks for your cooperation!
i only respond to viruses that offer me somthing fake in return for opening files!
Like penis enlargements that will enable your member to stretch from A to Z on a keyboard?
i was going to defend myself… but no matter what i sound like i am full of it.
so yes a to z
Cool – what do I need to delete before Skary’s member streches from a-z on a keyboard?
Probably not much.
Win.
You’re not a virus, you’re that badly burned Albanian boy from the day before, aren’t you? (I’ll take ‘obscure New Zealand references’ for $100, Alex)
shell32
reply fail
CatDog was stupid, bring back Rocko’s Modern Life!
And Clarissa Explains It All!
…ahem.
I’m with ‘Loz’ on that one. ^
It was a nice show, wasn’t it???
It was fab!
I love Melissa Joan Hart! Even better as Clarissa than Sabrina (the Teenage Witch).
How about “You Can’t Do That on Television?” That show rocked.
*checks*
Sh1t, my age is showing again…
I agree Annabellie… just don’t say the “N” word.
Thought it was “I don’t k**w”? OH ps, did you guys know Fergie from the f’ing horrible Black Eyed Peas, who peed herself onstage, is Stacy from Kids Incorporated?
I loved that show too!
Please do, TV that gross is the only way to keep kids on their diets these days.
This!
Sabrina the Teenage Witch, same actress.
It wasn’t as good though.
Maybe the above cat is animatronic, talking, and irritating like the one she had?
And badly dubbed, yeah, probably.
Well, dubyeah was always a problem.
Salem rocked. Especially the episode with his hot ex girlfriend.
But I think my favourite was the whammy fanny funky song episode
Ask also which came first, the chicken or the egg.
I’ve always personally looked down upon mother-child sexual relations…
Haha, win!
lolz
I lol’d. Many times.
»lol!!«
Don’t you mean mdr?
No Kitty. Thats a bad kitty. Thats my pot pie
Teen chat room win………I’m outta here.
Ooh, you’re clearly too cool for failblog with that skull and crossbones. xcorex!
Off to swab the poop deck, ye scurvy dog?
Avast there matey, be nice to the cabin boy! He ain’t been here long, and is still gettin’ his sea legs…
Ladies and gentlemen, the star of Disney’s Ass-Pirates of the Caribbean, Keelhaul!
Rita is a good dog. Definitely, definitely a good dog.
Does she have tendencies to act like a cat?
don’t worry thats normal… I think?
that’s from a movie, right? which one?
That’s not a dog.
And that’s not my beautiful wife.
And that’s not my beautiful house.
Oh god, what have I done?
You can’t seem to face up to the facts
You’re tense and nervous and you can’t relax
You can’t sleep because my bed’s on fire
T-t-t-touch me, I wanna be dirty.
Not gonna run, run, run run away…
You start a conversation you can’t even finish…
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Que sera sera?
You two were talking a lot, but you weren’t saying anything.
I don’t like that song, the title doesn’t make sense!
Oohh… me gusta much cuando hablas espanol!
…not spanish
Actually, that could be Spanish. “What will be, will be.” That’s what it translates to. Just needs accents on the a’s.
But it doesn’t have accents so it’s more likely to be French.
Unless Dragon didn’t know how to do accents, which could be possible.
Let’s just say we’re both right and leave it at that.
Hah. Dream on. :p
Truth is, I googled the title so that I COULD get the accents, but the accents were not present.
Perhaps I’m just culturally incompetent, but I always thought it was Spanish. It translates perfectly from Spanish.
How dare you! To say that Dragon doesn’t know how to do accents would be to say that the rain doesn’t know how to fall, that the sun doesn’t know how to shine, that water without chemicals can display rainbows, etc.
No, it doesn’t have the accents. So it’s French.
But it doesn’t make proper grammatical sense in either language.
*gives TMI his hat back*
*snork*
My gallant protector!
And Loz, you must be a very unhappy camper indeed, if you expect things like songs and poetry and whatnot to follow all the proper grammatical rules. Popular music must drive you NUTS!!
That’s just the way I is.
Oh, you have NO idea!
It’s more likely to be French than Spanish, so I’ll just have to settle for that, ambiguity and all.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else!
I’m ambivalent about that statement.
Yeah, I’m neither here nor there.
Really? I’m ambidextrous.
Of course not Loz… you are right where you are meant to be at the exact point in time.
I’m meant to be in bed? Well, that’s a fair point I guess.
That comment added to the ambience, Dan. Thanks!
Lucky duck…
Loz… I only wish I was in bed as well rather than at work.
South of the Border… you are welcome.
Suaimhneas to all
Hello Dragon, how are you today dear?
I’m just relishing my last week of summer holidays!
Oh Dan, South of the Border is macking on your turf
Holidays? What are those? I haven’t had one in over a year.
Summer holidays are best relished with someone else
*hugs*
Macking on my turf? Really? I only mowed it yesterday!
Guys, we just killed the Billboard fail too. We might need to go find a really old one to fill up.
This dragon is no one’s turf!
This dragon is an equal-opportunity flirt!
It’s actually quite comfortable for macking. Thanks for mowing it for me!
Oh Shadow, I have relished it with many
Dan… you can mow turf?!
Ah, I found perfection again.
I’ll go hunting Avis… watch for my post.
Yes you can Loz… turf is known as lawn here.
Heeeeeeeeeeee!
It is? Turf is turf here. We drain peat bogs and cut out the turf and put it on our fires in winter and it smells good.
Sure that’s turf and not happy grass?
Not happy grass… it comes in big blocks not little baggies!
Lol. We put turf in our yard so that we can drain our wallet of money that would be much better spent on something else.
…just big piles of it? Or are you referring to grass?
Come to think of it, I think we call grass turf when it’s in those pre0cut rolls.
pre-cut*
No, we smoke the grass with fire, and we keep the turf. Everythings backwards in America.
Yo hablo un poco español, y muy mal.
Esta bien, Avis. Mi espanol is muy malo tambien, pero las damas quieren mucho! Es posible que los caballeros quieren su!
Same as it ever was
You’re not going to believe this — but this appears so far below the one I posted, I almost forgot all about Heraclitus!
Nature likes to hide.
“The boat the little man is standing both can and cannot rock and roll in the same river twice.”
I totally disagree.
goddamn Parmenidean — b3nd over and I’ll show you how reality is one; change is impossible; and existence is timeless, uniform, and unchanging.
The truth cannot be known through sensory perception. Mm hmm.
So, how can I then know your statement is truth? I see it, and I hear it being read, but it can’t be truth then, based on your statement.
*head asplodes*
Sensory? You taste, touch, hear, smell, or touch these posts? You must smell history, too…what does it smell like?
You gots to get your utterly original being into it … and forget all about it being “yours” … cuz your ass belongs to Tat … ooops … wrong monistic philosoph … JUST SHUT UP, you are (and know/ bliss out on) what I’m trying to say!
.
(the safety word is SATCHITANANDA, padme)
Like I can say that with a ball gag.
Maybe the cat ate the dog.
ugliest dog ever!
iz cat now!
Does that mean I like goggies? I iz so confuzed. I thought I liked kittehs better
Alternate sign:
This is not a cat.
An actual cat?
Not an actual cat.
My “Schroedinger meets Magritte” joke I made on that fail would be perfect here…
Yes, it would.
Was gonna, but it’s yours.
Ceci n’est pas un chat?
Hasn’t anyone seen a miniature huskie before?
just the one in my pants
I’m sorry, but because of that comment you have now been demoted to Lieutenant Wang. I’m sure you understand.
Species recognition fail.
Where??
In the failpic, of course.
That animal’s no canine, it’s a feline!
What animal?
I see an orobouros, what do you see??? Is my browser broken?
I see a forever cool p*ssy linked with some kind of never-ending hot dog with some tail in its mouth.
Hot dog!! You know that’s not how I roll. Gimme a fat goi cuon, baby.
Ok, ok.
Get in the cage.
Again?? *cries*
… and don’t forget the Nut Dipping Sauce.
You need a sauce?
no no no… u dun get it
There was a dog, but he looked at cat cross-eyed, so cat broke in and ate him.
Oh hai. I iz in ur cage, eeten ur dog.
Iz u gaggy on da goggy?
kthxbai!
You have been warned! Ceci n’est pas un chat!! This is a threat.
*chien* Still a threat.
En garde, dawg.
(In American baseball, you guard shin.)
haha…fAIL COMMENTS CRASH BROWSERS..WHAT A FAIL.. frigginrandom.com is better!!! hahahah
Stop plugging, nobody’s gonna clicky.
WARNING: Endangered and mutant species of dog+cat , “The Dat”.
Please take care with safety
♫How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the…. The one… that goes meow?♫
Yesterday, I saw a book at my store called “Waiting for your Cat to Bark?”
My cat does bark, or did anyway. At one point my upstairs neighbor had a dog, and my cat used to sit on the bathroom sink looking at the ceiling and make barking noise. Sounded like a very small doggy quietly yipping. After that neighbor moved out with his dog, my cat stopped doing this.
hahahahhahahahahhahahha. I know-it’s stupid, but i can;t stop it
Oh hai, I can haz doggy playce?
Kitteh getz ridz uv goggie. WIN!
The cat is offended.
I totally agree.
Wowee! That dog was better than the dog meat from China Diner!
I iz undercover looking for cheezburger
It’s actually the cat’s failure to be a dog
I will adopt this ‘dog’! OwO/
weird dog
this is so photoshopped it’s not even funny! I give it a 1.