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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST
rly good for u1 gz m8 lololo :d :9
FIST!
double fail
LOL DOuble FAil! I knew the following line and im canadian! It was Land of the free and home of the…WHopper?
*Epic family guy moment #1*
She fails twice. Very niiice!
nice rhyme
lol, thats not lies.
yes they are…………
BTW: The universidad de moron “fail” isnt a fail. You just fail at lenguage.
Morón is a city at Argentina….
Um……
Nahhh. I won’t. It’s too easy.
Yeh, no one would leave himself that wide open on the internets…
Canadian girl can’t sing the US anthem without her notes, fine, but canadian girl slipping on ice… FAIL.
I think she took it pretty well all things considered. At first I thought she was going to do a version of “Ken Lee”.
Tulibu dibu douchoo
actually the reason she left was cause she was supposed to sin Oh,
Canada
BTW she was American and she was meant to sing the Canadian
anthem.
And THAT, kids, is called karma.
Goatse?
PERFECT
You lost me.
goatse.cz
you sir have just suffered from “appreciation of the irony of cultural differences fail”
Wear your Failcoat proudly.
post in wrong fail, fail
You spell language… Language
when pointing out a LANGUAGE fail , one should know at least how to
spell LANGUAGE
Not if they don’t speak ENGLISH.
Lenguage < Language = FAIL!
Yes. Actually, that one should probably be put into the Engrish site instead, if it’s not already.
Shut up, guys… that’s my girlfriend up there!
owned
I thought I saw this on Failblog ALREADY!
(Then again, maybe it was YouTube. FB usually takes over a week between youtube and failblog posts.)
Time travel?
Nice dude!!
Or you saw it on the vote page.
Ohai, cheezburger not fun enough for you at the moment?
Oh, let her be, Loz. She’s a good ‘un, and she’s been here before.
Are you guys really that frickin’ territorial over here? Is it really territory worth fighting for? Sheet!
Battle Knights = fail (see advertisement)
I hate you so much, it gives me energy
first, bitchez!
|the kid|
you got me =/
First fail of the day? Bizzitch?
apparently, someone kinda said “first” at the same time I did.
so it’s only a semi-fail.
I can settle for 5th.
|the kid|
Is it ‘the’ or ‘tha’? Make up your mind!
English fail
I think you meant to reply to ‘CJ’.
Oh no!:
Is it ‘the’ or ‘the’? Make up your mind!
The user she was replying to is “CJ -Tha- Kid” and he signs his posts as -the- kid.
Coherence of context fail.
Thank you.
sorry, |kid| — not even if by “semi-fail” you meant half of a double fail:
.
trying to do something dumb and failing because someone else already did that dumb thing … then attempting to kinda explain it as a semi-fail … that’s an exponential fail
+1, very well put. (Oh btw, I saw a used condom, one rubber glove, and a Walkman in a pile on the sidewalk today! Isn’t that fascinating, darling?)
Jack, I swear … the first time I read this I saw —
.
“I used a condom, one rubber glove, and a Walkman in a pile on the sidewalk
today!” — And I ’bout broke my back; “fascinated” don’t begin to describe it.
.
But then I was all like, “I like turtles.”
I’ll break your back, Jack.
You must live in a lovely neighbourhood.
Thank god it was closer to work, in Chinatown. The Walkman made me lose it.
Makes me wish we had a Chinatown.
I have Chinatown syndrome
In answer to your Prom question from the other Fail, I’m a wee bit too old for Prom.
sounds like ghehorg’s going down
Hopefully not downtown, it’s a first date….
I’m trying to be nice here, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Besides, Prom was about 15 years ago for me!
and you don’t like ‘em young, or anything
Not THAT young!
(I’m taking the liberty of speaking for Avis, imagining that this is along the lines of what she might say.)
Well….. Um…. Uh… Yeah, I don’t have a leg to stand on here do I?
i’d think it would be more of a logarithmic fail….
You’ll be happy to know that calling “first” at any point automatically makes you a 100% fail. It doesn’t matter how many went before you. Congratulations!
Is it “tha kid”, or “the kid”? Please make up your mind.
You’re also not first, which makes your post as much a double-fail as Ms. “Anthem-On-Ice” over there.
So I hereby call double-fail on Tha/The Kid. Post to homepage, perchance?
ALL I WANT TO DO, IS EAT SOME POO!
Winnie the Poo?
*masturbates*
go watch 2 girls 1 cup…
*looks around, then masturbates*
too late, somebody saw you.
|the kid|
I hate it when people put stupid little things at the bottom of every comment they make!
<
I hate it when people name themselves after legendary wrestlers nicknamed “Superstar” on comment boards. So breaking kayfabe, dude.
Yeah I hate that too =/
Hey wait!
Yeah, annoys the hell outta me too!
I hate it when people name themselves after legendary wrestlers’ dead girlfriends.
Wait…
multiple personality fail?
the kid? *masturbates*
fail.
NOO YOU GOT ME
Dang i was too late
How embarrassing!
Just go home, sweetheart. You have no game.
Get over yourself.
Dont make me turn this car around….
But he started it!!!
*whines*
emo!
*rolls eyes*
*rolls them back to Avis*
^ that LOL is marbelous
Or, possibly, marbleous.
Go to productdose and see the table that bears that name, it’s really kind acool. I wouldn’t want it in my house mind you, but it is interesting.
Please ignore the typos, they were outside the little text box.
OMG. My father would absolutely flip over that table!
Wow, commenting slows way down in the evenings. I would have figured that there were enough of us in the states to keep this going.
Now I have a mental image of my dad (who looks so much like Sam Elliot that people constantly stop to ask him for his autograph) doing a backflip over that table…
*snickers*
I AM commenting…but the blog monster keeps eating my posts!
That is cool. So you have the problem where you can’t see the type at the right too??
That is not good. Do the mods think we should all be asleep by now?
Meaning the site, not the blog monster.
Yeah, I have to delete type at the beginning in order to check the stuff to the right. Or I can just hope I typed it right.
Everyone keeps calling me out for never sleeping
Damn, you’re fast!
I know you’re not talking to me. Not with the computer I’ve renamed Godot.
You’re clearly not waiting to post, fasty
*is a little confused*
I wait. To see if anyone else posts at least.
I’m not good enough? *cries*
Define enough. No, wait, I am kidding. Would I continue to reply if you weren’t?
Depends how bored you are. Is it only 10:37 where you are, too?
You guys are awfully entertaining.
Nope, it’s only 9:43 here. I’m in the city of big shoulders.
Shall we attempt to be scintillating?
It’s the same time here in Misery, Avis.
And no…I’m not up for scintillating. I’m pretty sure my chest cold is turning into bronchitis. I think I can manage “perplexing”, or maybe “comatose”.
I can’t keep up with her!!
Damn! See?
Oh, poor thing! I’ve been there. I’m pretty sure literally. I think a friend of mines spent a short time at the hospital in your town. Before she was taken in to St. Louis for a transplant.
For the record, she OD’d on tylonol. She’s fine now. Still breathing and functioning in society.
I had NO idea that was even possible.
(ODing on tylenol)
It takes a liver transplant. She took about 3 bottles of extra strength Tylenol. BTW it you are having issued keeping up, that means your computer might be slower than mine. That is kind of scary, as I thought mine was super slow.
I hate this itty bitty box to type in!!! Arrggggg! If. IF!!!
Avis, I hit enter when I get to the edge of the box, and then I delete them when my message is finished, just before I post. That way, I can see the whole message and make sure everything is spelled right!
And I’m soooo sorry about your friend. How awful for her, and those who care about her.
I agree, I’m sorry too. I hope she’s ok. And Dragon, you’re intense…I just kinda pick it out with two fingers and hope for the best
Well, she WAS a friend. After she got out of the hospital she had afalling out with her parents. She moved into my place. She had to move out of my place. She was doing some serious non-perscribed drugs. Last I heard she was in trouble for beating up her boyfriend. We stopped hanging out 10 years ago.
Eeep.
That chick has some ishews!
Yikes!
I sure know how to pick ‘em!
I tried to be her friend in high school. I tried after. I gave up when she started doing smack. Wait, that’s not exactly true. I gave up after she racked up a $1000 phone bill on my dollar, brought home random guys (it was a studio), and basically treated me like crap.
We need a happier topic.
How’s The Boy?
I like turtles.
Yes, this is relevant to my interests.
Hey! You’re supposed to be…..elsewhere..
Now THAT is a happy topic!! The Boy is good (very good indeed). And that he puts up with me is wonderful. The Derby was loads of fun (our team wiped the floor with the visiting team) and after we had a great time watching a movie with his roommate. Yeah, things are fantastic!
When it gets this small I do a cut and paste from cword pad. One can’t be too careful around you lot.
Ah, as long as you catch it yourself, you’re usually ok.
YAY!!!
I have another “possible” someone (NOT the “movie theater groper”!). He’s a psych professor…smart, funny, cute. All the good stuff. And he seems to like me. He asked for my number and then actually called it. We had a great talk.
Keep your fingers crossed for me. The nerd of my dreams has to be out there somewhere!
Completely off subject; but is anyone else having problems connecting and staying connected to this, and other, comments pages? It’s taken me seven tries and two browsers to get back here since my post about cwording. How are you people going to bask in the light of my wisdom if I can’t connect? It’s cheesing me off!
Yo, coyot’ — you misspelled “cute and pasta.” You should be more carefuller.
I must not have been using my noodle. Sorry.
The overabundance of posts makes some folks’ browsers crash. That’s why the mods close off the comments.
Hmph.
Marbelous, or marbleous … dilly, I believe your alabaster lovely as a creamy statuesque self would make me loose my marbles regardless. I’m a prigioniero to some fine ass artful loving. I’m just sayin’ just cuz.
.
(And I’ve been starin’ at some Chartreuse and thinking about green eyes all evening — so that could have something to do with the missing marbles.)
Perfetto.
Hmmmm….
*has green eyes*
*has honey brown eyes*
Apparently it’s kind of an odd thing. Don’t know why.
Sounds pretty!
If you squint hard enough you might be able to tell from my avatar.
*hates when people use these to describe actions*
Ooh, touchy!
Eh, more feely than touchy. Usually.
*mastu…* er, sorry
I know what you’re thinking, “crow up”.
Oh, don’t grouse.
I’m stopping this now before it goes too far!
Thhbbbtt!
And I had some great bird/car-trip ones all ready!!
*snork!*
*stork*
*tempted, but doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers*
Might be too late.
Can’t seem to help myself.
Oh, go for it. I’m all a-twitter…don’t sparrow us your wit!
You might egret this you know.
You go for it. We can all share this thread…I’m not grebe.
looks like not even bird comments can nest at this level
*throws a roc at Ghehorg. waits for him to duck, thumps his arm twice for finching.
*teals of laughter*
Guys! I go for a run and in that time you fill up Manhood Fail and start another bird thread which I tried so desperately to avoid!
*towhee!*
hi
And you invented a new word?! What is this ‘towhee’?
PLLLBBBBTTT!!!
:p
I warned you my funny was broken today! Where’s my bukkit o’ pudding?
*hands bucket*
It’s toffee
And it is NOT a made-up word.
*dunks head*
*holds hair back*
*rubs back*
Mmmmmm…. toffee. I miss toffee, and caramel, and bubble-gum. Damneddental work!
Are you going through some transcendentalism?
No, some years ago I had a lot of dental work done, to the tune of $2800, after insurance kicked in. It was due to a) an accident at school resulting in a split lip and chipped tooth, b) an accident involving my chin, cement steps, slushy conditions, and dress shoes, and c) a REALLY bad orthodontist.
That sounds awful, I’m sorry. My former dentist used to call the drill “Mr. Whistle”, if that makes you feel any better. I still need to get gassed to get work done.
I’m still waiting for wisdom teeth to come in … so I can have smart mouth.
It’s not so bad. You’d never know from looking, the work was that well done. And I have never been given gas. But the time I got the root canalS, they didn’t even give me shots for the last procedure. I should mention, my four front teeth are crowned. And unless I told you, you would NEVER know. I love my dentist.
I only have 2
Maybe I’m destined to be a half-wit all my life.
I had mine removed…I guess that means I’ve lost my wits.
Mine are impacted, what does that say?
Your wisdom makes an impact!
I can live with that.
what a baby
WTF it sez no comments for i wizzed in for a quick post and cj tha kid has one
AWESOME
apparently, i got second post. and the guy who purportedly posted the first post was procrastinator, ironically…
|the kid|
You are fake, sir
summi
bah ..2nd?
She just realized, “Wait… hockey… this is Canada, isn’t it?”
yup. and now it all makes sense. That WAS bacon!
And that was a BLACK guy who didn’t try to rob me.
And that was a hospital that didnt take all my money.
LOL!
And all my prescription drugs were affordable.
No, it was Soviet Russia.
In Soviet Russia, anthem sings YOU!
I blame Canada
they’re not even a real country anyway.
We’re a maple syrup theme park!
double fail
Nice. Insult AND injury. We like those fails.
Ice one!
(Sugar and spice and everything ice — that’s what this girl’s failbutt is on.)
Not to mention the slugs and snails and epic fails.
haha good one =)
double pownage
Meme knowledge fail.
PRAWNED!
mmmm, grilled prawns with drawn butter anyone?
… but, for someone with a dairy intolerance and a fondness for Damon Gough … would that be a badly drowned prawn?
An icy reception.
Teeheehee
zing!
Ameri-roll’d?
Aw, c’mon! A REAL artist would have gotten up and sang it anyway!!
Yeah… a real artist also would have learned the song.
They also would have learned the words.. and been able to sing. She fails on all possible counts.
There’s no return
lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol what a noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob
*kills Kenny*
GOLD!
OLD!
you bastards!!
you didnt masturbate? WTF?
I’m not necrophiliac… but hey, you are alive! *masturbates*
oh my god! they killed kenny! you bastards!
*golf clap*
clap? *masturbates*
^ the boring sound of one hand fapping
Wow, aren’t you rude today?
Oh, BTW, since I can’t reply on the other thread now (damn you FAILblog!):
Length (n.) – the measure of the greatest dimension of a plane or solid figure.
So sorry… Length >= Width
Are you a dude today? Are you nude today?
Erm…you’re going to need a partner if you want The Clap.
But who WANTS the clap?
You’re just jealous!
Of The Clap? Ummm… no, actually.
It’s ok
you’ll get it one day, if you’re lucky.
I get lucky, and lucky that I’ve never gotten that/
Oh I’m only pullin’ your chain :p
I know, I just had to say SOMETHING.
Chain? *masturbates*
Nobody, which is exactly why I’m masturbating… ldo.
Was that noob or nob? Either way, I guess.
That’s a big ol’ slice of humble pie. Ouch.
I love that band.
Ahhh… American Justice, Quick and Swift!
(But slow and boring at most times…)
both quick and swift?
I think it might be a double fail, as the team behind her is Canadian, not American, therefore she should be singing the Canadian national anthem.
O Miriam … stands on guard for fail.
Not if they were the visiting team
You’ve Got Fail, go check your inbox…
hahaha omg that’s a super fail
Instant Karma FTW!
That was a DOUBLE FAIL! Haha.
I was wondering…
Two Fails make a win?
No. Two fails make an epic fail.
but what’s the exchange rate for epic fail, now that america is in a depression?
It’s a recession at the moment, let’s not get ahead of ourselves!
I’m not sure on the economics of fails, though.
Ask Bear Stearns.
I do believe beyond two, fails begin to increase expotentially. Especially by Bear Stearns…
Oooooh, so sad.
Yet so very funny.
that was not sad at all.
Well, it was sad for her, and so vurrry funny for us
Hey, give her a break! She was Canadian.
she almost got a break. Right on her head.
No way! Canadian girl woulda been smarter than to go out on the ice with heels like those. Unless she was maybe from Vancouver.
remember the part where she slipped and fell on her butt.
i lold so hard.
“butt? :masturbates:”
Don’t you mean ‘lawled’?
Is this a question or a demand?
Jack, I swear — if I have to tell you one more time, you’re never gonna get your broke backside out of the kitchen.
I TOLD you I can’t make pie because of the two black eyes!
Dammit woman, just calculate the ratio of any circle’s circumference to its diameter.
(All this math talk is about to square my cylinder’s radius … from A to Z and beyond.)
It better be “beyond”.
Didn’t you hear? Fuzz packs a 12″.
Oh, I heard.
Don’t worry sweetend honey, we can definitely make us up an infinity of toy stories in the kitchen, and stretch a tall tail while we’re at it.
That’s MUCH better. Cause I’m not making you pie.
*gets out a 12 pack to get his buzz lit*
demand is too harsh. it’s more like a cue for you to remember.
ultra fail, twice
combo fail
I’d have a #2 please with extra fail
They should have given her a hockey helmet to wear if she was going to fall and bust her @$$…maybe they should have got someone who remembered the words to the Star Spangled Banner first.
Or maybe the words to the song she should have been singing.
Also, it looked like she had some heels on her shoes, so she was asking for it.
Is this a question, or are you asking for it?
It’s a threat…
Dum dum duhhhhh
Ooo! A take charge working girl who talks the talk and walks the walk and walks to work and works the walk and walks the works.
(Do you take MasterCard?)
If you know how to swipe it.
*steals a kiss*
What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.
Do do do do do do. etc.
What is love? simple answer – *masturbates*
^ simpleton
Ahhh, the simple pleasures.
This is a waaaaay old clip of a French-Canadian singer who didn’t really know the Star Spangled Banner (ideally b/c it’s not from her country, or in her language) and in forgetting was attempting to go and find a sheet with lyrics. Of course upon her return, the heels she was wearing didn’t like the ice too much and down she went.
A most forgettable event that just went from bad to worse, but she still made the effort
could you repeat that, i had something boring in my ear.
Sure thing….
This is a waaaaay old clip of a French-Canadian singer who didn’t really know the Star Spangled Banner (ideally b/c it’s not from her country, or in her language) and in forgetting was attempting to go and find a sheet with lyrics. Of course upon her return, the heels she was wearing didn’t like the ice too much and down she went.
A most forgettable event that just went from bad to worse, but she still made the effort
thanks. turns out it was a weevil.
dunno, david, looks like a bigger menace than that
Well, I hope he chooses the lesser of the two weevils, then.
Wait… so she didn’t know the words and then fell on her butt? glad you’re here Le Sigh. I had ladybugs in my eyes.
in Soviet Russia you sing the Tsar Spangled Banner.
In Soviet Russia, the Tsar Spangled Banner sings you.
Thanks, Le Douche. Now kill yourself.
Old fail is old.
long cat is looooong.
Tired, played out meme is tired and played out.
Tired meme cat is tiredly memeimg.
Narcissism meme is me me memeing.
BEWARE OF SLIPPY
Maintain hygine.
Wearing high heels on a freshly zambonied rink? That’s just set up for fail, unless they come with built in ice spikes in the bottom.
Ive got a zamboner. *masturbates*
I’ve got high heels with built in ice spikes.
Are you an executive transvestite, izzyboy?
I think he’s just a male lesbian.
Do you think he has a flag?
no flag no country.
That’s the rule that I…just made up!
Then he’d be wearing Birks wouldn’t he? With ice spikes?
*sigh* No softball jokes?
LMAO!
2 fails at once!
Who cares. It’s just an anthem!
It’s perverse anyway, to sing such nazi-like rally music for an event.
It’s not much different from sieg-heil-ing.
I’m sort of with you on this one.
What better way to honor games of aggression and violence between the U.S. and a Commonwealth nation than a song about the Brits’ bombing a U.S. military facility?
7|-|1$ 1$ d3Ph1|\|473L’/ /\/\4D3 0Ph Ph41L jU$7 L1|<3 7|-|3 /\/\4r1493 Ph41L |\|1(3 !!!
you spelled Marriage wrong.
1)0 j00 1=331 51>3(:41 133:/\/9 0/\/3 01= /\/\4′/133 71-11233 1>301>13 71-147 1=:/\/1) :7 /\/3(:55412′/ \/\/12:7:/\/9 :/\/ 4/\/’/71-1:/\/9 1-1:91-1312 71-13/\/ 50% 1337 (i only say this hoping to piss joo off for having no life to sit there and write a comment about a vid in 100 l337 and thinking that any1 really gives 2 shits or a rats ass about what joo have to say)
Oh man. It’s just not her day.
OMG that was priceless.
Alternate title: How to end a singing career in under 2 minutes
What so proudly we FAILED…
lol.
epic fail
How constructive of you.
Well, I don’t think her singing career is over. Who goes to hockey games?
I bet she phailed at singing too.
double fail!
Double-fail much? How do you get away with that?
okay, I’m not from around there. Fill me in – is it the fact that she’s singing the US anthem at a Canadian game, or the fact that she can’t remember the words that is a fail?
he got a real pretty mouth, ain’t he?
NOOOOO!!! That’s reference number two to that damned movie, in less than one week!
That’s right, because there is only one team at a hockey game.
Owned
That was so amazing.
You’re rather easily impressed.
It appears y’all’s differing perspectives constitute something of a mitchmatt.
WIN.
if you don’t know the words to the National Anthem, don’t volunteer yourself… duh
I love Radiohead!! That song kicks ass.
wow, that was an epic fail. she sang the wrong song in the wrong country, she sang it wrong, and then she fell and hit her head, all while being booed at.
who did?
Eh, not a guarantee she sang the wrong anthem. In NHL with a handful of Canadian teams and a lot of USA ones, when they play each other both get sang no matter where it’s being played. Anyway, this vid is older than the tree Jesus played near growing up as a child.
Actually, disregard that comment. Fuzz did a much better job.
canada was playing against the US,
Hockey knowledge fail
Yah.Fuzz is good.
LAST!!!
^ FAIL!!!
FIRST
double fail, fail x2, combo fail, fail x fail = epic fail.
if at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail, and fail again
fail and fail again
^ this comment looks bootlegged
TAKE THAT, TERRORIST
“What so prooooooouuuudly we FAIL….”’
Double Fail! Ouch!
C-C-C-C-C-COMBO!!!!
If you fail hard enough… does it become a win? And if you fail epically hard, would it become the opposing party’s epic win?
If so; then I think this is an epic fail for Canada, but an epic win for the US.
It’s a US fail, even the canadian players laugh at her.
Oh…Oh wow… XD
Good gawd, that was funneh!!!
oh god that mustve been extraordinarly embarrassing…
one if my favorite all time faisl\\ls
If you are going to fail, FAIL!
C-C-C-C-Combo BREAKER!
not funny