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Where’s my hat?
On top of your head
no it isnt
ehhhh
Where your home is?
Where your home is, WinFail? I’ve got a bad feeling we’re going to have to registrate your ass before long.
“Home is where you hang your hat.”
“Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in.”
“You know what they say… home is where you hang your enemy’s head.” –Gogron Gro-Bolmog, Assassin
Oblivion reference WIN
where you is, homes?
i is in CANADA!!
“Laugh-a while you can, monkey boy!”
–
You were quoting Lord John Whorfin, right?
I like your hat.
home is where you hang your cat
Relevance fail?
Win.
Who gives a shit fail
Pirate grog win
Where is your mind?
Are you talking about Fight Club??
Hahahaha, gotta love retail
I’m surprised it’s not Wal-Mart, are they not the ones who employ all the uneducated idiots?
Oh, don’t worry, this is America, we have plenty of uneducated idiots to go around.
…
I take that back. Do worry.
Run away, come live with me in this perfect idyllic land.
my sister studied a semester abroad in Ireland. She wishes evey day that she could go back. I have a feeling she might move there…that would be awesome, I could visit her on holiday
yes, she did, and i am so jealous. I might like to check out Australia as well, i do love the ocean and i hear they have fabulous beaches.
and a plethora of poisonous snakes. yay!
Crikey!
haven’t heard of that species.
No one gets two encounters with a Crikey Snake.
Nor a Crikey Stingray.
Did you lose your mojo?
As tough as it is to emigrate to Australia, I’ve know not one but two people that visited there, extended their stays, then just said “#$@$ it” and never came back.
Australia has everything to offer, and it doesn’t #$%#$ the world. Do want.
Oh, Americans are immigrating to Australia… that explains why it’s becoming the most obese developed nation
we’re number 1!
**puts down McDonalds bag, fires handgun in the air** YEE HAW! **breathes heavily, clutches chest, collapses**
That pretty much says it all. (he says with shame)
(Handguns won’t fire below this level)
*hops into monster truck, gets some Kentucky Fried Chicken, buys a long arm, blasts self in the chest*
**votes for John McCain in November**
*shoots ghehorg before he gets the chance*
*burns ghehorg’s corpse to prevent him coming back as a zombie*
*burns ghehorg’s corpse to prevent him coming back as a zombie and voting*
thx Captain Obvious:/
Leave the Emeral City for the Emerald Isle?
You live in the Land of Oz?!
Or the Chinese restaurant down the road?
Ha! No, Emerald City = Seattle.
Galway, Ireland is one of our sister cities.
Ah, I hear Seattle is a great city
But we’re greener than you!
Lies!
Well, no one goes around wearing green and “Kiss me, I’m a Seattleite!” buttons on the holiday of our patron saint, largely on account of our not having a patron saint.
Haha, not once have I seen an Irish person wearing a “kiss me” button.
You should get a patron saint though, pretty handy things.
You should see Chicago on St. Pat’s day. I try very hard to avoid the parade routes. There’s not much worse than a bunch of drunken college kids on the el.
You think Chicago’s bad?
I can only imagine.
Chicago will take any excuse to drink in the streets. Legally.
I tried to post a comment here but I do not see it. Hmmmmmm.
It wasn’t vulgar in the slightest.
Maybe that’s why.
Perry Como would never lie to you. Perry for patron saint of Seattle!
yeah, all i heard about is rain, rain and more rain
Well you need lots of rain for the greenery to thrive.
We should know! *emerald solidarity*
*sigh*
I’m an envious dragon…
Well then you can join us in our greenery, no?
Amsterdam has the best greenery….
Is that in the red light district?
Umm… no…
Actually, Seattle recieves less annual rainfall than Chicago or New York. Seattle’s rainy reputation comes from the fact that Seattle experiences overcast weather over 200 days in an average year.
Yeah, I know. We have had some serious flooding around here lately.
Here too. Gah, the aftermath of the hurricanes has been bad.
Your comma! YOUR COMMA!
(*sympathises with the flooding*)
The flooding washed it away.
Ever person I’ve met from the Pacific Northwest has the bizarre willingness to suffer without sun for 9 months at a time. Depressive lot, and no, the summers could not make it worth it.
Since I’m allergic to hot weather (not a joke) the Pacific Northwest suits me fine. Silicon Valley was hell on Earth for me…
You should try Silicone Valley…. pornorama
At least we won’t accidentally kill ourselves. Although, the likelihood of doing it intentionally, is probably higher.
Emerald*
Pay no attention to that typo behind the thread.
Thanks, fuzz, that was rather wizardly of you!
Fuzz could have been a real witch about it.
nope, I work at target, and there are lots of idiots there besides me.
no, target execs know nothing about video games, I’ve worked there for 3 years, and have had to fix blunder after blunder for them.
Makes you wonder what was going through the person’s head as they stuck those up.
Hopefully filing for unemployment.
Also makes you wonder what the purpose of that sign is in the first place.
It’s plainly clear to me- you don’t see it?
Either way I hope you invest in a bunch of clues and do not display another comment about testing for f*cktardness again. Because to keep on registering the same comment over and over is the attention-getting sign of an anal personality.
Fuzz is in a bad mood. Have some cookies dude.
*corrects self* “Have some cookies, dude.”
total loser
wow. . what a totally unoriginal insult. u fail
Now you’ve gone and hurt talons feelings.
I think you need more than cookies, fuzzy.
I think this comment better fits in the anal registration fail.
bęnd 0vęr and I’ll show you anal registration
I once saw a sign that read “This sign has sharp edges. Do not touch the edges of this sign.” And that’s ALL it said.
However, I am curious as to what the rest of those signs say.
actually, as one of the peons who sort those signs, I can tell you that it was probably one of us low-level people testing to see how much of a moron our boss is.
“What are we goin to do today Brain?” more than likely.
Narf!!!
“…try to take over the world.”
Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
I think so, but where will we find enough jello to fill the Grand Canyon?
I rofl’ed
Well…clean it up.
I think so Brain, but what if the chicken won’t wear the pantyhose?
I think so, Brain, but where will we find rubber pants our size?
Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu.
Not a lot really, probably a tumbleweed or two
It might have sounded like this:
*crickets chirping*
Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep?
(youtube.com/watch?v=oXzQr-OO390)
LOL, I loved the reaction shots of the judges.
Hahaha, Scotland’s finest talent!
i wish we could see the small type below
aaaaaattteeeenncchhhuuunnn!
Would love to see what the smaller font says.
It’s product display instructions for Target Store employees. This, or something similar, is what the top of the smaller print says:
____
ATTN: Sign Prep team member. TO DO: Give this sign and the disclaimer sign
#1158108 to the GSTL ["Guest Service Team Leader"] to display on the entrance ad board.
___
And the bottom portion is instructions to the GSTL regarding what to do with the disclaimer sign. Aren’t you thrilled you asked?
.
[AND PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT FUZZ BEHIND THE CURTAIN]
Fuzzy curtains? Is that some sort of innuendo?
Fuzzy carpet, on the other hand, is confirmed to be some sort of innuendo. (That’s why they call it shag carpetting.)
*is available for shampooing and hoovering*
How can I not pay attention to the fuzz behind the curtains? I’m anal (and registered) and now all I want to do is vacuum the fuzz.
Fluffy is cute. Every time I visit her, I eat a whole package of graham crackers and let crumbs fall on my fuzz.
Sometimes she has to skip the rest of her chores that day.
___
– pace Steven Wright
*vacuums Fuzz’s fuzz*
‘Pantyhose
So you are the person responsible for these signs? Thank you for brightening my day
thanks, i actually did want to know. it really shows how much of an idiot the guy displaying this was
…
…
I was going to make a politically incorrect joke about hiring illegal immigrants that can’t read english, but there were too many and they all got stuck in the door in my brain.
I was going to make a joke about retards WHO can’t speak English, but there were too many. Count yourself lucky.
tee hee
haw.
You have no change to survive make your time?
Someone set up us the sign.
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign.
That was just mean.
It’s a catchy tune. Would you rather I put a “Wham!” song into your head?
Jitterbug. . .
Jitterbug. . .
You should go-go out of here for that, talons.
But wake me up before you.. (dang it!)
ARRRGGGGHH!!!!! Just stop already!!
Cruel and unusual punnishment!!!
And yes, I meant to do that.
Ok Ok. No more suffering!
Avast ye dogs! I humbly request all comments below this point be in the proper dialect for the day! Ye best be payin’ proper respect on this grandest of holidays else I be puttin’ the curse of the bloody barnacle on yer soul!
Aye, yer ma.
mon the hoops
Psh, ‘mon the Glens!
Oh, go swab the poop deck.
Heehee, you should’ve used this in our previous poo thread.
I think that the comments were closed on that fail before I got to it.
Oh I was referring to Font Fail! It was more a bum thread than a poo thread.
*really wants to stop saying “poo thread”*
Oh, well shiver me timbers!
You can shiver your own timber there, bud!
I thought we were discouraging people from shivering their own timbers.
It’s okay if they clean up afterwards.
Actually, Loz seems to be doing quite a fine job of shivering your timber for you.
Speaking of shivering timbers, when is your date?
Yar… don’t taze me, matey!
Now where’s the fun in that? Timbers are much better shivered by someone else.
Oy, you askin’ fer a punch in da froat, mun?
Darb : “Avast ye dogs! I humbly request all comments below this point be in the proper dialect for the day!”
.
avast ye barnacle-covered scurvy dogs:
If you need help click on my name for a simple English to Pirate translator made in honor of this day, the holiest of holys (or however that bloody word is spelt.
Thhhbbbbt! : p
Meh, that’s so 2007.
avast ye barnacle-covered broadside matey, be tellin’ thar be how many leagues til be knowin’ foul blaggart fleabag inn grog be? Yar…I be confused…
Set sale for fail. This would probably go un-noticed if it wasn’t for the “Attention” part being almost as big as the Sale sign itself.
Awareness fail!
I bet you wish your next posts would go un-noticed.
Set sail for registardation.
*pokes*
*pays*
:[
I want half!
Don’t like this one.
Attention: do not use brain
DO NOT READ THIS POST
this is not a post.
But it is a pipe. Thank Juses for that.
is there people paid here to coment as fast as possible?
Shut up, Mauro, no one likes your music anyway.
No, but I’ll happily pay you to proof-read your comments before clicking the Add comment button
Thank you, i was trying to come up with a good way to say that
Oh, WtfFail knows all about clicking that Add comment button.
You’ve developed quite the vendetta, haven’t you, fuzz?!
Its the only reason he gets out of bed in the morning.
Wow.. did I miss something? When did this start?
I’m with you fluffy, totally in the dark.
Umm, that didn’t come out quite like I meant it to.
Freudian slip?
Uh no, uh maybe…
.
(why does Anna keep losing her slip)
Sigmund keeps losing his slippers.
But Raelalt, I found out what this is about. If you scroll down a little oyu will see.
*you, opps
[attention (x3) -- do not display your panties in wad]
.
I’m just sayin’ — I’m just playin’.
(This silliness worked better when first set up; now you have to [x3] wait for it….)
With all due respect, fuzzy, do you have a touch of autism?
Yes. Paycheck please.
I’m afraid you weren’t fast enough! Better luck next time.
*grabs cheque*
Oh yeah?
*steals pot of gold from the end of the rainbow in Loz’s avatar*
Hey, give me that back, I need it for my unnatural garden sprinkler.
Oooh, you didn’t see those twenty years ago!
*gives pot of gold back*
Holy Shit! What’s that oozing out of the ground?
Arrrr, wishin eye cud reed teh sine eye am! Arrrrrr!
This is probably some kind of test thought up by management to check new employees’ levels of f*cktardedness. Either way I hope they had their anals “registrated”
really?
Ohhh… I see what came over Fuzz today.
Heee!
Relishing the rare Failblog TRIPLE post on fail that’s all about paying attention and being anal about not displaying incorrect signage. My work here is done.
Fuzz, dear.. your work is never done…
You may have some more, too, sweetheart.
*reaches for another box of graham crackers*
15, do not post this post
maybe just a simple font fail… it should read: “DO NOT DISPLFIY THIS SIGN”
Did you just intentionally misspell a word that doesn’t exist?
Callback Recognition FAIL with a bonus FAIL because it was a callback to a fail from earlier today.
IMHO the fail is amplified exponentially that the failployee put up not one of them, but THREE, all exactly identical – which would be a fail in its own right.
This isn’t a fail. It’s a win. The employee wanted to lose his job, and probably succeeded.
Do not post this comment
ERROR: comment posted.
OMG! THAT DUSTBUSTER IS ONLY $25!!
WtfFail, we told you — do not bring this kind of attention on yourself.
“DO NOT DISPLAY THIS POST AGAIN.”
Uh. Feeding trolls. You’re doing it right.
Agreed, I don’t know what’s come over fuzz today.
I know, it was his gay uncle.
Wait for it … wait for it … Ahh, here it is ….
**gets fuzz a towel**
man, i can’t keep up with failblog anymore. i guess i got a life
I miss Target so much…
DAMN YOU, CANADA!!!!
WTF??? who´s dumber teh person who took the picture and did not thougth of making it readable or the loser who put it there?? anyways…..i think the worst of all are the ones that spent a lot of time talking here about nothing……
Alex’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon teh stage
Spending a time here, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing by talking about nothing.
word.
Speaking of shadow, what happened to him? I haven’t seen him round these parts lately.
What’s the weather been like for you there in Seattle lately?
Last couple of days have been overcast and cooler, but the last few weeks have been mostly sunny and warm.
I thought everything was apparent to you?
Did I miss something? Please enlighten me!
You require EDification?
Don’t keep me in the dark, good sir knight.
I think m’lady was implying that if everything was apparent to you, you wouldn’t have had to ask me about the weather in Seattle, as you would have already known.
My knight in shining armour comes to the rescue yet again!
But there wouldn’t have been any pun in that.
LOL … this was vintage admiralty.
^^^
POB and Loz have joined Raelalt and Fluffy
… in the dark.
.
Be it an Emerald City or an Isle,
If the weather is overcast,
Then Shadow will be cast.
And, as should now be apparent to all,
Since no Shadow will there appear,
The Admiral’s been cleverly clear.
oops, third line should be,
.
“Then no Shadow will be cast”
Verily.
Man, I feel the same way.
u r dum.
yeah, thass whut I’m talkin bout
There are nicer ways to ask WHY a fail is funny. How do you think the poster feels? If I were him/her, I’d be thrilled to get one of my fail pictures up on the front page. But then someone goes ahead and flames it. There’s a polite way to ask why it’s funny. I don’t see how it’s funny either, but I’m not going to flame the fail poster.
the pic was more readable than your comment.
if you were trying to be ironic by commenting about a fail to say it wasn’t worthy of comment, i’d give you credit. clearly, that was not the case.
Chuck Norris hung those signs.
*must….resist….Soviet….Russia….joke*
In Soviet Russia, SIGN hangs YOU!
*fails*
OK, be honest. How many of you spent at least 30 seconds desperately trying to read the illegible print?
*raises hand in the affirmative*
just have to thank u guys for making me laugh reading your comments :3
rawr~
you guys are awesome
your witty banter and constant owning of each other makes my day, pretty much every day.
(how’s my spelling and grammar?)
Crap.
What’s the problem? The notices look right on target to me.
BEFORE 300 !!!!!
Over 9000!!!!
I actually don’t get it. :/
This is actually a pretty common thing, its on display in the staff room.
The sign would say something about not displaying it to customers.
Easy:
Somebody prints out a simple document on his computer and tapes it somewhere.
How could this NOT be a prank?