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Someone has a pitiful marriage!
Haha, this is hilarious.
*pities matt*
*Masterbates*
*Pities self*
*masturbates*
*pities Jurgen*
*Mr s.a.u.s.a.g.e*
*Has a pity masterbating session*
christan book store
I wonder what the “men” section is grouped with
“Mental Disorders”
I’d go with ’self-help’. Few people know that is a euphemism for masturbation.
That would work too.
*Masturbates*
*self-helps*
*Helps you help yourself*
*Helps you to help him to help himself*
freaky little daisy chain
*Helps abstract die*
The little death?
French euphemism win!
women/death?
*Helps you while you help him help himself*
Yes, women give men mental disorders.
Every man that has ever been married has eventually died.
Statistics don’t lie. Women will kill you.
True story! I believe the figure is 100%. Shocking.
Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Loz. 40 percent of all people know that.
Valid source or I don’t believe you.
100% of all women die. That is a fact. Source? uhh h h
*borrows TMI’s hat*
In the Middle Ages, it was honestly believed that women did kill men through sex. It’s not called a “little death” for nothing. It was believed that every time a man had an orgasm, he lost part of his soul, and if a woman became pregnant, that bit of soul went into the baby.
*gives hat back to TMI*
Well isn’t that true? *lovingly gazes at the vial of soul-parts around her neck*
That TMI hat fits you well, Dragon.
Why, theng-kew! It was very kind of Mr. TMI to loan it to me.
*borrows TMI hat*
Many see the use of ‘loan’ as a verb to be unacceptable
“To loan” has been used as a verb in English since 1200. If it was good enough for them, it’s good enough for me. :p
Me thinks she was implying that it was stolen rather then borrowed
Oh, but Dragon, wasn’t it you who said that the rule about prepositions is archaic so why should you follow it? :p
1200 isn’t archaic enough for you?
…what? lol.
I think I worded that badly. Dragon had said that the preposition rule is archaic so she doesn’t see any reason to follow it.
OOOoohhhh. Now I get it.
I suffer from vaginadentata. . . *is afraid of teh munching*
First you have to have something to worry about damaging.
*Toasts to Eric’s immortality!*
*Clinks glasses with Loz*
Sadly that’s a non-sequitur.
*Toasts to my mortality*
*Imagines being killed by Loz*
Heeeeeee.
I also think they shelved books on divorce under “home improvement”.
And books on christianity under “fiction”.
More specifically, Science Fiction?
*disclaimer: may not actually contain any science*
Maybe fantasy?
Well, they are basically stories about magic, so…that works!
Could also be placed in “Horror”.
or Cults.
or Psychology in the Anti-Social Personality Disorders section.
Certainly not the “Humor” section.
Dragonwriter: I also think they shelved books on divorce under “home improvement”.
.
I’ll drink to that, (and have many a time.)
Avis: “Certainly not the “Humor” section.”
.
Unless one is using the archaic definition of humor.
Well, it sure as hell isn’t funny, now is it?
Ok, parts of it, maybe. MAYBE.
And you mean humor as in the humors of the body/spirit?
Yeah, bodily fluids (one in particular.)
That’s humerous. (Teehee).
Cain?
Eve =/=> Tree of Life
Then it’s true. Shall we say truth in advertising WIN?
That looks to me like a bookstore WIN
Reminds me of Al Bundy… he taught me never to marry a woman
.
am i thie only one with strange fanfic in their mind..
*the
??fanfic??
Yes. You are.
fantasfic.
I am fanfically trying to think of a funny response to this…
You are defanfically failing.
What can I say, I’m talented that way!
You are, however, fantasfic at rhyming!
Hee…! Let me wow you with my fantasmagoric rhyming skillz!
I’m faffic at this
i am? i am what? …don’t say fanfic again……
does the sign in front of the books say fruitflesh? that’s odd.
I was about to comment on the same thing. Fruitflesh??
Yes, it’s a book. Surprisingly enough.
Googling brings up:
Fruitflesh
Seeds of Inspiration for Women Who Write
By Gayle Brandeis
That’s the one. Ridiculous it looks, too.
I say we get one for Dragon.
*Wraps up book in paper*
This’ll make a nice Xmas present for Dragon!
Oh…um….THANKS, guys! How thoughtful! You shouldn’t have. Really…
Yoda, you be.
Err… show me where I put a verb at the end of a sentence. You can’t? Oh, OK.
I think you are looking for “Ridiculous it looks, too.” Get rid of the “, too” and you have “Ridiculous it looks” instead of “It looks ridiculous”.
Yoda puts his direct objects first, then the rest of the sentence.
Owned, you have been.
~PLips
i would have gone into more detail, but i didn’t want to look like a smelly nerd.
You’re already a spoony bard.
Are you trying to say ‘ridiculous’ is a direct object?
Reconsider that ‘ownage’.
You put your verb at the end of an independent clause. Yoda you are.
Oh shush, you. Perhaps my mother tongue (hee) is German and I slipped up.
:p
sounded yodish to me. ending in a verb, not everything he says.
http: / / http://www.amazon.com/Fruitflesh-Seeds-Inspiration-Women-Write/dp/0062517244
I don’t know what kind of sentence you were trying to write here, but it’s all blue and is chock full of spelling/grammar fails.
Blue? I don’t see any pornography.
In Soviet Russia, FAIL sentences YOU!
I think it’s some obscure Amazonian language.
*Indiana Jones music*
Hehe, well I am an archaeologist!
Are you really? That’s interesting.
*Huge boulder comes rolling*
Yep!
Oh shit… I hate when this happens…
just another on the job hazard.
I hate that too. Oh, and never, ever open the Ark of the Covenant. John McCain tried that, and shut the case in the nick of time.
That explains the half-melted face…
P.S., the Holy Grail was made of wood. If you drink from a golden Grail, you will quickly age to dust. Which McCain also did.
He chose…poorly.
His running mate? I agree.
No, actually it was Hillary… seriously, go look on Pundit Kitchen!
lol rofl, that was actually pretty funny!
‘pretty’? with a ‘lol’ and a ‘rofl’ I’d expect it to be nothing less than side-splitting!
“Let your writing be like this feast [of a mango] bold, sensual, unapologetic.”
too funny XD
focus fail
I agree. Total photography fail!
iPhone camera fail!
Give me women, or give me death!
Why make a choice when here, you can have both?
Because I’m a Nazi, not an Islamo-fascist.
Yeah, they say 12 virgins, but the didn’t say virgin whats. Those damn
jihadists never read the fine print.
In soviet russia choice makes you
In Failblog bookstore, women slash death.
It’s supposed to be a reversal!
Death slash women!
You’re thinking of a Hebrew bookstore.
i slash death…….um yeah
In heavy metal concert, Guns ‘n Roses Slash guitars.
Great, now I’m hungry for destruction.
I’m not feeling too welcome in the jungle :s
Then how’s about we try Paradise City?
Paradise City is a no-go area, there was an incident involving spaghetti.
Was Mr Brownstone involved?
No, my sweet child, he wasn’t.
Oh well, live and let die….
I just hope we can avoid that cold November rain.
Don’t you cry tonight if you do…
just dont start a civil war.
*taunts* You will never get this, you will never get this!
Never gonna get it?
the one day he get out and, he get this
*high five!*
No, not this time.
Never gonna get, never gonna get… get, get it. We’ve known each other… for so looong… *continues to rickroll Failblog*
…untill he broke his cage
Taunt me a second time while you’re at it! I WILL get that black bar off you… someday…
An inside look at Emily Dickinson’s personal library.
…which Sylvia Plath later bought.
Sylvia bought Emily’s farm?
…after Virginia Woolf.
she didnt wanna work on Maggie’s farm no more
Treat women well, or you’ll pray for the sweet release of death.
Oh hi, Ed
You got that necklace I asked for?
Lean back and I’ll give you a necklace…
You just asked for the sweet release of death. *kills*
I tried to warn him, I really did.
*shakes head*
*dies*
You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
*watches Loz*
Pity I’m not in the shower
pity indeed…
But you will be… you…will…be…
If we bury you in the sand for a thousand years, even you may be worth something.
That’s more of a stretch than Working Out Fail.
You’re the expert. I was just throwing him a bone since he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
*sieves*
*finds nothing*
Bloody tomb raiders.
His mummy’s probably worried about where he is this late at night.
I doubt it — she’s probably too embalmed.
(Out of interest, do Americans call them ‘mommies’?)
(No, we don’t… It’s odd, really. And why are we using parentheses?)
your mummy late at night?
*petrifies*
Interesting.
Parentheses? (I don’t know, really.)
Were we not proposing parent theses?
Oh yes, the mummies. I’m on the case!
Case or sarcophagus?
(Car)touche!
Yes, yes I do. Now where did I put it?
*runs off*
*car drives away*
*a few seconds pass*
*car approaches*
*runs back inside*
Silly me, I left it at the jewlery store!
*raises eyebrow*
you can go now.
hmm, ok. thanks
*Runs into Loz*
Didja hear? The jewlery store was robbed! Police say they stole a valuable necklace!
the bastard…
Don’t worry, miss Loz, I’ll catch the thief.
*Hugs*
sounds like a job for our fabulous duo
Yes, m’lady. *retires*
heh, i dunno…i think these are grouped properly.
hi Loz :-*
That has got to be the strangest emoticon I’ve ever seen.
Is that supposed to be a kiss? I won’t be kissed by someone with such an ugly name as ‘ghehorg’.
‘ghehorg’ sounds Russian.
Err… if you insist.
I am, its not. It doesent mean anything.
You’re Russian, but the name isn’t Russian. That was a real stab in the dark! (pardon the politically enhanced pun)
It could be “Georg” with an “h” or two thrown in.
in Soviet Russia H throws YOU in
It’s the new herpes smiley.
Why so virus?
Your sense of humor is interferon with my work.
Shouldn’t divide your attention so much — keep things simplex.
I don’t even see two words…
then you are blind
I think DeVir sees ‘Women’ and ‘Death’ both having the same meaning.
oh, i get it, i was just making a joke…..
BondFan, you are supposed to be my partner in fighting crime, etc….not “un-funnying” my jokes
I think when it comes to un-funnying jokes, youve been spending too much time in the “self-help” section.
??what? not me
Some say mariage equals death in small slices…
Are books something different then small slices of life? ^^
Accuracy WIN
11 woot!
Are woots valuable?
woth about 350 internet points
sorry, worth
where’s Khaaaaaaan? i hear he’s got some warth.
*i cling on to warf for protection from the bad pun spelling poice*
I’ve got some data that suggests otherwise…
Sorry, it was a long trek from the other thread. What’s the Q?
The Queue was in another thread.
I thought he was at MI6 headquarters…
We gotta retrad our steps?
It’s not such a daunting enterprise as you might think.
For an intrepid voyager like yourself, at least…
And Rogue starts to Babylon and on and on…FIE!(ve)
…er, Fly? Was that was you said?
you’re FIRE’d
So Women=Death?
Err, as far as I know / does not equal =.
And the people that do believe that should be divided.
Are you positive?
… and/or ambivalent?
I can be irrational at times.
But, I hope, not imaginary?
Cake =/= death
The Marie Antoinette formula.
Its from the Izzard/Antoinette school of thinking.
Le singe est dans l’arbre.
Quoi?
Go watch some Izzard.
Yes Ma’am!
*Scribbles down order*
*La singe et sur la branche!
*winks a Loz*
Actually, the original version was what I said :p The DVD is slightly different.
And the monkey should be masculine.
*winks back*
I knew that as soon as I posted it, but was hoping you wouldn’t notice.
And actually, when it comes to Izzard, there is no “original”. Every show he does is a bit different than all the others, which I think is very cool.
Well, initially he used l’arbre but I assume he changed it to make it more understandable to those who don’t speak French. Very considerate of him!
I ♥ Eddie Izzard.
(Oh, and Loz…I’m all showered and I smell pretty for my date tonight! One more hour before I go!)
Ooh! Good luck honeypot. And remember; don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
It’s like that old adage; you poke, you pay.
All I know is that there seems to be no end of Pi.
Mmm
cut me a slice?
There is only a π slice left. Who ate the other half?
http://sindios.labrute.fr/ fight!!
Not a fail! Women have caused more death than God and Money combined! Ask your average dead person… there’s a more than 50% chance their current condition can be blamed on a womens.
For more information call 1-800-RIP. DeathTalk – Your local dead communications service.
Yes, 1-800-RIP. Jon Edward’s latest business venture.
There is no way a picture of a stationary object could be that bad. I believe the person who took this must be running. They heard women are death.
Yet again, / does not equal =.
*Jen ÷ 0
six of one/half dozen of the other
Folks like her are a dime a dozen.
Is this from the Ted Bundy library?
no, probably Al Bundy
who uses books?
Not trolls like you.
Actually, he probably goes through a book a month. To wipe his arse.
That’s not fair, I heard he has an entire library, and some of them aren’t even colored in yet.
LOOOL
Gender. Recognition. Win.
Um, how?
You. Talk. Like. Comic. Book. Guy.
Not. To. Mention. William. Shatner.
Best. Comment. Ever.
can this be the start of the TRUE BLOG
May I call you by your first name: One?
*golf clap*
Oh! Oh, very nice!
Bravo.
This is a WIN! not a FAIL!
Care to enlighten us to your logic, or did you already troll to the next site?
trollin down the fails, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
She’ll be trollin’ round the mountain when she comes.
Yet another earworm. Remind me to return the favor.
they see me trollin’ they hatin’
epic win
i agree not sure how this is a fail.
You agree not? You’re sure it’s a fail? That’s lovely.
*Sings*
All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air.
With one enormous chair,
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?
oh you want a comma in there do ya? sorry bout that.
Your screen name says it all.
it sure does.
whoever thinks this is not a win has not met my last couple of GF’s. I’ve been in car crashes and bar fights that i can say ended a lot better.
So explain why you think it’s a win?
Wait… I thought that by MAN came death…
*calls her friend George Frederic*
looks right to me.
Woman/Death
-or-
Woman=Death
Personally, I think a sword made of pork wouldn’t really be that effective a weapon unless you were fighting Jewish or Muslim people…
Oh, you’d be surprised. Many a woman has been maimed or killed with such a sword.
personally, i don’t think any operation on the set of real numbers applies to woman or death.
Truth in advertising.
That’s not advertising.
Nor is it truth.
Or funny.
Nor is it… Hey you guys took all the words.
Nor is it in. (stole the last word from ya’!)
Damn, just when my back was turned.
woman/death?
*masturbates*
Panda Sacks!
reading russian alphabet win! pointless comment fail. *masturbates*
Panda Secks? *doesn’t masturbate*
Film at eleven.
does that mean my comment failed to be pointless?
Apparently he has trouble handling double negatives.
Probably because he only has one hand free
You’ve got some issues – clearly…
necrophiliac…
In before 300 post cap!!
They don’t usually notice until about 350 or so
Thats not a fail! Its a win!
This is WIN not FAIL
Feminism IS Death
Death to Feminazis!
What sane person would make a section titled ‘Women/Death’? They’re begging to be attacked by an angry mob or something.
that’s so funny but uncool but more funny
This is win.
Failblog, Home of Masturbating Viewers. xD
Ahh, the reality of life.
this is a win!!!