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*facial*
Sensational facial.
FIRST!
…NOT!
Don’t steal my moment!
this one has been on the failblog youtube page for ages
*yawn*
Yawning is rude!
*Scolds Goolie but gives cookie later*
Fag Fail.
So how is Tennille doing?
Disco Win!
Disco is AWAYS a FAIL!
why?
(Comments wont disco dance below this level)
Ancient pop-culture reference own!
Still it ares EPIK!!
doesnt mean we’ve all seen it, googoo
What Moment? You were not the first commenter, you were not even the first reply to the first comment, about the only first you got was the first person to fail at being first on this particular fail, so maybe we ought to give you your moment, First Fail Congrats!
*Head explodes*
Well that’s the end of that then.
*Sweeps up talonsofpeace’s shattered cranium*
That happens on this page, too? I thought headz asploding wuz more of a cheezburger thing.
talons is from ICHC. Does that explain it?
Wrong wrong wrong.
1) In ICHC the comment would read *head asplodez*. Spelling fail.
2) It’s an expression I’m taking back from other places on the internet.
3) As it is an expression, I’m clearly not dead. If my head exploded, that might be newsworthy, and I wouldn’t be posting posthumously.
4) I wasn’t born in ICHC, I didn’t “come” from ICHC. I don’t even find laugh out loud cats all that funny.
5) ??????
6) PROFIT!
Get it now?
Well you certainly aren’t posting-humourously…
*Ba-dum tish!*
Nice one, I set that up and wasn’t sure if anyone would take the bait. +45 internet points for you.
You’re American, you’re not allowed to put the first ‘t’ in the word ‘internet’.
Good show, old bean.
*Golf claps and sips tea*
Heehee, *sips*
*Hands plate of fish and chips, topped off with Ribena*
I presume this is because all American’s speak with a long, drawn out southern accents. We also are so uneducated that we gloss over consonants whilst speaking?
*Gulps down budweiser, belches, throws can out of window into yard full of car parts and trash, eats some fried food then gets into monster truck and drives over to a clan rally*
Well, if Cockneys can get away with not pronoucing “h” as the first letter of a word, we can get away with not pronuncing “t”. Or just changing it to a “d” sound, like how we say “bottom” more like “boddom”.
You got it!
Our colonial friend has finally got something right!
American is speak!
Well, it’s not putting my comment up, possibly because I included the word for an accent which includes a vulgar word for a man’s genitals.
Never mind…
Ah, failblog really hates the word c o c k. Sexists.
I love the English, you guys are @%@#$ hilarious.
*is not English*
Uh, Loz is Irish, I’m pretty sure…
and… Rogue gets the cookie!
B’dum – b’dum
Pink Panther?
Why is your heart typing, Sausage?
Because his weiner is busy doing other things…
And is probably stuck in a pipe.
It’s also a Strongbad reference…
*Fires up the incinerator*
*Dumps pieces of shattered head into incinerator*
*hopes it works*
*Disinfects area where head exploded*
It is considerate that you folks like to keep the place tidy. I’ve died on this forum many many times, it won’t be the last.
We can only hope…
. . . for my head to explode? Doesn’t do much:
*head explodes*
Nope. Still here.
FIST!
I shake my fist at you so smite me o’might smiter.
might should be mighty… oops.
first comment failure…
reading fail, first comment reproach fail
First FAIL.
Might even be an extra-spatial sensational interracial facial. Or not.
This is a win actually, the guy has some serious ability necessary to survive:-)
wow wat a black thing to do
It figures that the first reaction of the nigger is to strike out.
I’ve watched this video so many times. LOL!!!
old…
oldest old that ever olded.
Tyrone can kick some ass!
I know your mother is, but I don’t discriminate.
that’s so old, i remember laughing so hard that i fell off my dinosaur!!
dinosaurs are gay
Because the toy manufacturers told us so.
Oh, so that’s why they all died off!
Darwin 1, gay dinosaurs 0
A gay dinosaur… is that like a Pansysaurus?
Barney?
He was always telling the little boys he loved them…
So why are we letting our kids watch pedo-barney anyway?
Does that make him a… pedo-saur???
Unoriginal joke win.
Hey Loz! How are you feeling today??
I’m feeling good thanks
Still a bit tired and achey but recovering well!
*hugs*
*gentle hug*
Good to hear that, I took it as good news when you showed up here
so soon after.
Yeah, I was only in hospital for a total of 8 hours.
I kind of want to do it again, it’s so fun being put to sleep!
my kitty didnt think so.
(Loz sadness won’t nest below this level)
Okay, now I look like a jerk when saying that. I’m sorry, I didn’t read the context of the smilie face.
my kitty didnt think so
It didn’t, did it?
That’s because you saw it in the voting section, genius.
Think Fast!
Thats knockout win
“Thats knockout win”
‘That’s a knockout win!’
Epic fail.
*insert FALCON PUNCH reference here*
I think you just did.
Faaaallllcoooon PAUNCH!!
Not only a big FAIL, but also PWNED!!!
i wonder if getting knockouted was in his contract. I think it’s not a scare fail but a not-being-scared WIN!
Now that’s taking the trash out
Or at the very least recycling.
Aptness win.
Overall reaction speed and accuracy win.
That guy should have called the Poice.
previous thread reference WIN
They happen to be a good band. My favorite song of theirs is “Messge in a Bttle”. Although Stig’s solo stuff was generally not that great.
Really? I preferred Don’t Stand So Cose To Me and Every itte Thing She Does Is Magic.
“Sychronicty II” and “Roxnne” are pretty good, too. I also kinda like “Can’t Stad Losng You”.
Roxnne FTW! Heehee.
You don’t have to put on the re ligt.
You’re forgetting the best Stig song ever: Fieds of God
Hand to God… I read the title, out loud, and the tune popped in as well. Thank you. Why is it that that happens. EVERY. EFFING. TIME!?
You read out loud?
Not usually, I saw it, laughed, and said it out loud. Just that fast, the song was stuck (still is BTW) in my head.
Now that’s funny!
I LOL’d!!
Lulz. Nice one, Sara.
nice, most excellent
This video is ANCIENT old.
Whatever happened to this site being funny?
Just recycling the same crap.
Now THAT’S a fail!
You are anciently old or you wouldn’t know it is.
Burn!
My god! I’m older than Hitler!
Have you two ever heard of history books?
And now get off my lawn!
How on earth was that a burn? Calling someone old is an insult now?
It was an attempt-at-insult fail.
This right here? This is actually a burn. You don’t even need to put lipstick on it.
*hands out free aloe vera samples to all innocent bystanders*
*best cockney accent*
‘allo Vera!
Vera’s looking quite succulent today!
Witty Retort – FAIL
Yeah but at least the Comment nesting works again so now we can all talk trash to each other! Comment Nesting WIN!
what happened is that not everyone has seen everything.
IT WAS ON THE VOTING SECTION.
That’s why you’ve seen it before.
I hate it when people go “OLD” when it hasn’t been on the front page before.
Not so much a facepalm, but a facefist. Slightly used.
Facefist. Masturbate?
You’re doing it wrong.
I’m not shure if I’m into facefisting.
*insert shure joke here*
“shure”
’sure’
what a marvelous joke
I was thinking the same about you.
burn
accuracy bonus!
Hahahahaha ha ha ha ha haha ha
And I thought MY jokes were bad.
They are.
Avis, you sound like you have had some experience with fisting
Nah, it just makes for great troll bait.
*reels him in*
Ooh, that’s a biggy, Avis. Are you gonna cook it?
Nah, This pond is Catch and release only, nothing here worth eating!
I’ll just brand him. So we will know that he is a troll.
*readies branding iron*
Where’s Dragon when we need her?!
Her?!
*Ponders on past comments*
Yeah, I learned the hard way.
*SNORT!*
BFF must have never clicked on her name.
Okay…I literally almost fell off my couch laughing at this.
Bring that brand over, and I’ll fire it up for you, Avis!
*hands over the brand*
*FOOOOOOOOOOM!!!s it*
I’m glad I got here before you all capped the comments sections on all the fails!
I’m not even a regular responder and I knew that!
C’mon BondFan, get with the program.
Lurker!
At least lurkers take the time to read how people post so they won’t post something really dumb (like most of Corey’s posts).
Oh gawd, I’m so glad he seems to have disappeared. I got so tired of the
child following me around like a little puppy begging for attention..
I think he started back at school so his parents won’t let him use the internet on weeknights.
You really know how to be mean, don’t you?^
»grins«
Oh! Kick me while I’m down why don’t you!
As Vince Cable said of Gordon Brown:
“I do not wish to kick a twitching corpse”
And as UNL’s defense will say after they sack the quarterback “Kick him again, he’s still breathing!!”
RogueThree has the flamethrower right? Or did we leave it on set?
Pitching or catching, your still playing baseball
My guess is you have much experience playing by yourself.
Are you implying I don’t play well with others… Note to self: Avis took the fisting remark far too seriously
I’m implying that you aren’t given the chance to “play” with others.
Note to self: baiting the trolls is far too easy.
Since you are elbow deep with this “troll” thing I’ll concede you are truely the master baiter
haha! good one.. “master baiter”
Sorry Avis. I think tigr won this round.
This round.
I call it a draw, since tigr didn’t get the original reference.
As long as this doesn’t involved a slightly used large purple fist. Did either of you claim it yet?
I don’t lay claim to things (or ideas) that a) I don’t want, and b) don’t belong to me. But if you want the fist, by all means.
if zombies attack, I want him on my team
Pretty good reaction time. Definitely a plus when fighting zombies, especially the horrifying fast zombies like in the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Fast = “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!” Slow = “Dude are those zombies? Maybe we should do something.”
get up come on get down with the sickness
Disturbed?
Agreed!
I’d rather have the guy with the shotgun. And he’s not even in the video, so don’t bother looking for him.
That’s what you get for wearing a top hat in a trash can.
*erudite lol*
Democrates loves Erudite, I heard.
Where did this belong?
Ah.
Here. I found it at the bottom of the page.
11th this is why you can’t put me on scare tactics
show in SciFi channel (sp. error)
no more numbers please
I love how he just sinks back into the can and the lid closes snugly behind him. It’s like an old Tom and Jerry cartoon. Trashcan Kid is like Tom and Tyrone is like Spike.
Haha! You’re right! I didn’t even think of that, but I think I remember that cartoon and it happened pretty much exactly like that.
The fact that Tyrone just backs up, laughing, and saying “ooh” like he just saw someone else do it is even better.
Reasonable reaction. I tend to swing at people that suddenly appear behind me.
agreed – it was a good aim and I am sure that mask didnt cushion the blow too much. Ouch
Maybe he’ll try jumping out of trash cans with a motorcycle helmet on next time.
Jack-in-the-box win…
Jack-in-the-bin win.
This is not a bin.
…or a box.
Oh, an interesting personal note; I found out yesterday that I actually have a heart-shaped box! Some congenital condition. I wonder if that’s what Kurt had in mind when he wrote the song…
Yeah I know, pretty bizarre! But I’m just telling myself that it makes me special…
Does it smell like teen spirit?
Hahaha. You win.
I’m guessing it did when I was a teen
It’s got chambers?!
*is terribly confused*
LOL, no, but that would be even cooler!
I have a very mild case of this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicornuate_uterus
I’m a little annoyed – if it was more severe I could have two vaginas! Heehee.
Whoa.
I’ve never met anyone else who had that. I did, and I also had surgery to correct it.
Wow, no way! Did you have the double vagina thing?
What a coincedence.
No, I didn’t have that…but the condition did cause some pretty major complications. I’m glad it was so mild for you!
(Aside: I also have four kidneys. The docs told me I’m a chimera. Cool, no?)
You wouldn’t also have an extra liver laying around would you?
Four kidneys?! How does that even happen? You should donate two, stop being greedy
Yeah mine’s very mild, but can still cause complications apparently. Ah well.
Hee. It happened because I’m a chimera!
Clickie my name to learn more.
That is so cool! You’re a medical marvel!
Do you have any other manifestations apart from the kidneys?
Not really…just the kidneys and the uteruses (I actually had two that were fused together). It’s caused some really nasty complications in the past, but it’s all cool now!
No kidding! One of only 35 is US? And I thought I was
unique because my thumb is double jointed.
Actually, new studies show that it’s probably a lot more common that people realize. It’s just almost impossible to detect unless something goes wrong, which doesn’t usually happen.
So I’m not really that special.
*steals “that” and replaces it with “than”*
Damn lexicon, gave me the wrong word!
Did you have two ovaries, yeah?
What a fascinating subject. You should meet up with the other 34 and swap experiences.
I dunno about that, we think you’re pretty special.
But would that be 34 or 68?
Oh yeah, good point. *ponders*
Hah!
I *snork*ed.
And tanks…*smooch*…yer a sweetie.
Loz…yes, just the two. It’s all moot at this point, though, since the docs jerked the works when I was 25. As I said…it caused some serious problems. I’m a MUCH happier dragon now!
ouch, you’re red hot even when you’re not flamethrowin’!
Better believe it, sister!
Wow.
Seems like we all have a few quirks here at Failblog. I’m a mutant, and we have to Chimeras!
*sneaks in to replace that “to” with a “two”*
And I thought I was special for being 2 in 1. »lol!«
Then again that must be only in my head.
Avis, I’m not a chimera (as far as I know). Unless the ‘two’ you were referring to were the two Dragons, lol.
Loz has girl down there parts?
*golf clap*
now Loz gave ME the clap
Yeah, treasure it – it’s all you’re getting.
Hee!
ROFL. ghehorg got owned. XD
Loz has a Heart on for us!!! Thanks Loz, We are happy to see you too!
Is that a bicornuate uterus or are you just pleased to see me?
Well it doesn’t sound nearly as much fun when you put it that way
Oh, Loz, congenital conditions mean nothing to me. Come as you are, I say.
So you’ll Nevermind my issues In Utero?
Hey, I’ve been secretly hoping you’ll rape me, my friend. Will it happen? Who knows? (Not me, I’ve never lost control.)
“Has just been revoked!”
I would say it’s more of a Scare WIN
satan is my lord
hail satan!
Sorry but Tyrone would f*** Satan up.
So christ is the anti-christ! Aah! This paradox will create a black hole, sucking us all in and causing the CERN particle accelerator to disintergrate the earth!
*Slaps self*
That’s better.
I’ve disCERNed that you have a HARDON for black holes. It’s ok. I do too. *masturbates*
That’s better.
It would’ve been funnier if you’d actually typed ‘HADRON’ ’cause then all the idiots would’ve tried to correct you.
…that is a very telling wink. You have a hadron, don’t you? Sick perv.
Oh you two! Go get a super collider together!
I’ll give YOU a super collider.
*Swings fist*
*divides by 0*
BondFan’s gonna kick some astronomy! At the end of this fight, somebody’s sure to end up with a supermassive black eye.
I got your black hole right here…
But. . .you’re white!
*masturbates anyway*
You are masturbating to a GIRL. Paedo alert! Paedo alert!
lol
You won’t be laughing at the sentence the judge gives you.
what if the sentence is a pie to the face?
Bukkake Punisment… Judge just tells you its a pie!
ITT: FAGGOTS
Actually, I should have put this here:
*divides by 0*
Dang it! Of all the times to fail at a witty joke.
Only Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
I’m pretty sure he ment satin . . .
no, stalin
Other Fail reference WIN.
Spelling Fail! It’s Hail Satin!
Oh, I got here way too late!
ooooooold
This is so old, and fake.
So are you. I don’t hear many complaints about that.
You must not be listening very hard.
I’m not good at listening to people.
(on the internet)
ftw?
ock its old but, isnt that a in-your-face win???
“OK” fail
fake
None of your comments has made any contribution to the failblog discourse, trollface.
and the failblog discourse is second in importance to nothing else in the world…
An assasin that’s second to none, the man with the golden gu~n
You should get out more
Don’t feed the troll.
Once they’re fed, they multiply.
only after midnight… Like Gremlins
After midnight is before the next midnight.
How could they multiply?
I’ve been saying this over and over again and still they feed ‘em. I think some of the uh, shall we say “older”, failblog users actually think getting pissed off and arguing with trolls makes them go away. This is fail.
And FYI, certain websites out there give advice on how to troll THIS BLOG.
beware!
Somebody would spend their time making a website about how to troll here? It seems pretty uncomplicated
It’s not a website dedicated on the “how-to” of trolling failblog. It’s more of an aside, and I don’t want to give anyone ideas so. .. we’ll just leave it at that.
kthxbai!
I wish that worked, but we have records that prove it does not.
Does it work on you?
kthxbai!
You wish.
Wait, has or have? Or perhaps, an implication of present uselessness…
This one’s fake. It’s a remake of somethign that was on America’s Funniest Home videos, right down to the puncher being a black guy.
I pity the foo’ that tries to copy something on America’s Funniest Home videos.
Hmmm… seems that im LAST !!!! ahrharharharharh
Fail
Hmmm… seems that im LAST !!! harharharhar
Nope.
but not for long
Darkrain? Are you the older brother to Chocolate rain?
And cousin to Purple Rain.
Raises your neighbourhood insurance rates, y’know.
Who is im?
I dunno, but he’s last.
“Darkrain”
.
Is that similar to a golden shower?
And coprophilia?
*lowers the tone*
I’m going to have to poop out on that one.
You’re a returd.
Don’t be feces-ious!
Yeah! Well with friends like that who needs enemas?
*hides in the bowels of the blog*
To make truly great puns, you must toil-et it!
I don’t guano!
Hush. I’m listening to Vivaldi’s third movement.
Oh? Which coloncerto?
It must be No.2
LOL. *high five*
Alimentary my dear Watson.
That’s a gut one.
Poor Tyrone, you just know he got grief from the school over punching the Zombie.
Poor Dave, your avatar would be so much cooler with a colon.
I thought is was a colon, at least a semi-colon.
lol, does that make it half-assed?
Hah! I guess it would.
no, that is my school. this was three years ago. The guy in the costume was kind of a douche. Everyone thinks it was just really funny.
Failcon Pawnch!
Life tip #569:
Never surprise a boxer.
Life tip #570:
Always box a surpriser.
Life tip #571:
Reversal jokes, as proven here, are more funny when you don’t announce them with the phrase “In Soviet Russia”.
In the USSR, jokes reverse you!
Life tip #571.5:
…or something similar.
B-but… it doesn’t exist… so how can it reverse… *head explodes*
Calls 999
A-ha, but in the UK it’s 99… oh wait.
“Hello, you’ve reached the poice. We are for the big. May I help you?”
Yes, give me surprised and pleased, please.
Do you is f*cking?
Do not want!!
I think that may just have been one of the best fails this site has seen.
Seconded!
If those same translators got their hands on Clone Wars, I think it would be an improvement.
Motion passed!
Surprise her box…all ways
I do believe that would be called “sexual assault.” jluk
.. Hey! That’s my old high school.
Or maybe it’s just that all high schools on the US east coast look alike.
But still, HEY!
Did you have a point for this or was it more of a rambling fail?
That was so awesome! I wonder if he’ll recycle that attempt to scare the next person?
You fail at commenting on the fail.
Who, exactly are you speaking to there Pot?
The poster he thinks he sees.
Lol and you fail at Nesting your comments! Hypocrisy Win?
Never mess with a black man.
WOW! lol this was hilariouss =]
That’s A Man Down! Where’s The Medic???
failblog fail – this video is no longer available
Your browser = fail
SO GAY !! I AM GAY ~!!
Don’t you have anything better to do than just be here and stupidfiy, the fuckingifyitifititit and lie about yur life when it all comes down to your cock.
WIN!
I think his head may have exploded before he got to the point…
Nice of you to come out of the closet here though…
Now go back into it, and stay there.
No, don’t make him do that. The poor Narnians.
Oh sorry, forgot about them. That would be wrong.
this is what started all the crap at Jena, huh?
FIST FITS!
FALCON PUNCH!!
This 300 limit sucks, what browsers are crashing? Are you sure it’s just not people with low end computers? Maybe instead of stopping postings completely after 300, just turn the avatar loading off. I’m pretty sure that is the problem.
Can we find another thread to play on??
*starts going through withdrawal*
Right-turn fail is pretty empty, we could migrate there!
…or I could go to bed. Hmm.
Teehee, they haven’t caught us yet.
*speaks too soon*?
Nope!
*jinxes us all?*
I have seem FB page browser messes on both a middle of the line PC
and on a decent iMac (and I think when trying to view both with Firefox and IE). The ones I’ve witnessed occurred when posts got up over 600 … and it gets definitely difficult to read and navigate around when it does.
yes!!! I knew this would eventually happen to somebody.
This was a funny one. I love the giggles in the background.
Uhhhh….fake…setup….crap. When he hits him with his knuckles splayed like a slap his hand is moving about all of five miles an hour and stops dead on his chin, no follow thru or carry over.
You honestly believe that that was a real knock-out punch?
Guess it has been awhile since you witnessed a real fight then…..sigh,
No, it’s you that doesn’t know what you’re looking at. Please stop watching professional wrestling, it’s rotting your brain. “carry over”? You have no clue and it’s obvious, and the concept of follow through completely eludes you. Good try, , but you won’t BS anyone that knows knows what they are looking at, and you’re acting like you can see much more than is there from that video. Goodbye failure. .
silly zombie mask wearing guy
Not a zombie – Der Kindestod from Buffy! She dealt with him in much the same manner…
This is not a fail. This has nothing to do with fail.
Last!
I’ve always wanted to see someone do this in a horror movie. It’s the perfect response.
:]
Wish fulfillment WIN.
More like I am last dumb tool.
See? This is why I never go to Knott’s Scary Farm, I always say I’d probably end up punching someone in the face that popped out to scare me. This was not fail it was WIN! Well… Prank fail but response win I suppose. *shrug*
1. people don’t understand failing. if you scare someone so badly they punch you, clearly you win at scaring. you just fail at good ideas.
2. what is with this new insane amounts of comments, was failblog advertised in a lunatic asylum, does the useless convention now have internet access? why does every post have 300-500+ idiot comments?
SOMEONE FIND SCOOBY DOO AND SOLVE THIS
wow the camera guy has the dumbest laugh on the face of the planet freakin noob
Thats why we don’t sneak up on black people
gay fail.
All I have to say is…Nice reflexes
Lol “r u gong trck or treating”
Never scare a brother who grew up in the hood that way. Reflexes might get the better of him… or rather, of you.
mohammed ali’s brother! lol!
he would have one hell of a black eye after that lol!
And this boys and girls is how you defeat your monsters…. give them an immediate punch to the face.
KA-BOOM! And the monster is gone!
i just noticed that when they try to scare black people, they just fight back XD
I have watched this at least a dozen times and I still piss myself laughing everytime I see it!
Oh lol much, yeah gotta watch out who ya scare man, i’d do that too haha
aw hellz naw……..*punch*……..aw shit
Thats a win
That’s why you take karate.
or whatever you kall it.
This is a win. Nice reactions.