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first
[Insert obligatory anti-"First!" rant here.]
[Obligatory anti-"First!" rants wont nest below this level].
[Rants that deny your non-nesting reality will nest below this level].
[Obligatory comment as set up by brewski: "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"]
stop saying First!!
At least say “first” in a foreign language next time!
Your name means “tight” in German.
*masturbates*
His name means “Scary” in Dutch
Coincidence?I think not.
You say that every single time. Why?
Sorry, pourquoi?
yeah, porque?
Pork?
Pork, eh? No.
*rolls eyes*
You really are from South Carolina, aren’t you.
yeah you could’ve made more of an effort there, I am disappointed frankly.
fifth
Woah, that girl looks about 12.
NOT right.
But then again, not much about this picture is.
the guys trying not to look. haha
Yeh, hehe
. He fails!
And so does the guy in teh BG! Nice1!
I know that horizon is completely tilted.
One of many reasons to not get married on a nudist beach…
You sure there aren’t three or four reasons there?
If its a nude beach, y are they wearing clothes?
If it’s a nude beach, the wedding camera man is a PERV.
Well, at least we can be certain the ceremony is not taking place on Betazed.
dont betaze me bro!
Understanding the joke fail!
You dont understand the joke?
Pervs, weddings, whaleboobs, don’t taze me bro, this is an epic joke of epic proportions. Now to figure out how to tell it. . . .
Therein lies the problem of all epic jokes. They always come out fail when you say them.
Missing the Star Trek TNG reference FAIL!
Doesent watch Star Trek WIN
At least someone got it. Thank you Sir Didymus.
I sensed your pain.
This thread needs to end… Make it so, number one.
Aw crap…
Engage!
Ensign, what are these tribblesome Feringue doing?
They heard there was going to be a wedding, so they dressed up for the occasion?
one of the many reasons not to have an open bar with the in laws around.
Just when the groom thought things couldn’t possibly go wrong, he turned around to see his bride’s mother for the first time…
… his bride in 20 years time. Next week on failblog: a video of him, realising his fate, puking in her face.
Haha!, this is probably the best wedding picture there is. xD
They should be so happy when they see they didn’t end up like those fat bastards.
Quick someone call the coastguard, it looks like a whale has washed up in shore
That whale is fully beached, it’s no use!
And seemly caught in some multicolored whaling net. At least the oil from her carcass will heat close to a thousand homes for one winter.
someone call the japanese don’t let it go to waste
I dont think they will want it,
I’d say its been there a while,
It looks all bloated and swollen,
Even for a whale
haiku fail.
lol 7, 7, 8, 5.
I sure hope he wasn’t going for a haiku there….
I don’t think they’d want
To carry that whale away
broken back for sure
I was trying to figure out why the black bar was there. Then I realized that was not a man, and this lady’s breasts are quite sadly placed. She is obviously pissed off by this and taking her spite out on the young well proportioned couple.
Oh, envy.
Her escort looks shapely enough, judging from what little I see.
Meh, who can tell? He may very well have a face equally deserving of censorship for all we know.
Thats why you get married indoors or at least hire the whole beach (if its an option)
I’m glad she carries that black card with her
hahah! ahhh thats good, well done!
Black bar WIN!
I don’t think that’s a WIN for the black bar. I definitely wouldn’t want to be that black bar…
Uh!, I thank that this black bar was inserted by blog admin in order to prevent a masturfeast frenzy here (seems to me standards for that are quite low)
BTW, first time in my life I agree with censorship!!!
Masturfeast?!
*masturbates*
but the black thingy is inserted below the whaleboobs, like maybe the liver or sht?
Oh well… *masturbates*
Whaleboobs?
*Fingers self furiously*
*sighs* I was insinuating that “Whaleboobs” was his sister.
no, it was just her nickname in High School
Actually, both of my sisters died of leukemia. lols.
Thread killer’s win…
Masturfeast? If I could do that, I’d never leave the house…
house?
*masturbates*
???
“???” ?
*masturbates*
*tries again*
HASSELHOFF!!!
no photo, trick no workee…
Drat. Must. Find. Photo.
Periods?
*masturbates*
Sometimes I wish I could put black bars on my vision…
You can!
Its called eyelids, they provide 100% barrage!
Something smells… burnt.
Take your head away from your ass then
WIN!
Burn of the week nominee?
Well done, sir. You have shown us your moves.
This black bar was interesting, too–it was the only way I could tell it was a woman, sadly. And first I thought it was just that his man-boobs were offensive.
Damn, her belly button is right between her nipples.
mmmm…. nipplebutton… *masturbates*
That is NOT a lady.
oh yes. it is. her boobs are just realllly low.
why is she marrying her dad?
He puts out.
You know, some women are naturally attracted to older men. We do mature faster then men so guys our own age often don’t meet our emotional or mental needs. But older guys do.
As for the fat woman – dang it, when will my fellow fatties realize that our bodies are something to be ashamed of and need to be hidden for the good of humanity? I’m tired of this “I’m diva sized” and “It’s all about confidence” nonsense. When it comes to women it only matters how THIN you are, not your personality or anything else. So if you’re fat like me, you need to wear gobs of big, baggy clothes! Period!
BORING
some women are also naturally stupid.
OMG! It’s JamiJo the AFU troll. Haven’t seen you around AFU lately. Not that we’ve missed you. -Don Freeman
I miss ghouck. I don’t know where he’s gone but his total retardation amused me.
I agree, but only to the second part.
That would be a horrible sight for your wedding…
Not unless prior to your wedding you were 100% blind. Then for the first 10 seconds as your eyes adjusted, you would feel euphoric until you cast your eyes upon that monstrosity of a creature…whence you proceed to gouge your own eyes out to spare yourself…
A buddy of mine did that once.
One of my friends did that TWICE!
No way! Like, THREE of my friends ALL did that!
Five of mine did that! It was awful!
i think the bigger fail is that nasty pink netting and flowers and crap that the poor guy has to stand under.
haahah… latent!
“What’s that daddy?”
“Why son, that’s the planet Mercury, although why it’s down by the beach I haven’t the foggiest..”
Are you sure it’s not Uranus? Hehehe….he said “Uranus”.
“He said”? YOU said.
Damn! I’m always having problems telling myself from other people.
Maybe you have schizophrenia two, or even three.
♫
He’s once, twice
Three times a schizophrenic!
♫
Oh not the schizo thing again, where’s fuzz?!
He’s beside himself with anger.
They’re not actually bikin bottoms whe’s wearing? It looks like her body ate a full swimsuit and is yet to digest the rest…
Either way in this case I protest “less is more”, please for the love of god and the health of peoples’ eyes and minds COVER UP!
PEBKAC Win!
If I dont say so myself
Less is more = rule when it comes to jewelry and perfume.
More is best = rule when it comes to fat people and swimwear
I’ll drink to that! Well said jinx, well said.
Yeah! Only skinny, attractive people are allowed to be comfortable in the summer heat! It’s not like we can just turn our heads to avoid things we don’t want to see!
no top in the world could hold those whammies.
mendzel pendzel nie ma chuja
mendzel pendzel gwalci wuja
That’s what SHE said!
… while chewing on a tasty dog. Not even a hot one.
note to self, hire guards to block off both sides of beach for a wedding….
Note to self, bring flamethrower, have pork roast.
don’t forget the apple!!!
I love that you can tell the young couple is trying to ignore it, but the look on his face is priceless. Did someone neglect to tell these poor folks that typically the topless on topless beaches are rather hideous and/or old?
I think I know what you is trying to say?
How about her red face? Bad make up/ Sunburn/ Anger/ Shame?
That could be “I will not laugh, I will not laugh, I WILL NOT LAUGH” !
She was just jogging and the whaleboobs were a smacking away
So, the bride would have been happy to have more attractive naked people in her wedding pictures??
It’s not the lady’s fault for being fat, it’s the couples’ fault for not doing proper beach scouting prior to the wedding (most beaches don’t allow any nudity).
Holy shit, of course he’s trying not to look! WHAT’S THE MOON DOING ON EARTH!?
Isn’t Mars the red planet?
Obviously that moon is your mum
She also has HOOGE cojones
Perv
Oooh nice job you sure are alot cooler now!
That’s no moon – it’s a space station!
After the ceremony the couple danced together to the sounds of ‘Thanks for the mammaries’
If I can dig myself out of this grave, I’m coming after you!
^zombie^
Ill get the machette… I knew this day would come.
I think we need a “Thread of the Month” category just for this one.
LOL!
This is truly unique.
What’s in your head? In your he-ee-ee-ad…
It looks like they should have been more specific with their minister about the dress code.
Have none of you noticed that the moonwhale is flipping the bird to the “Happy couple”? Take THAT Matrimony.
Uhhh, no. She’s not flipping the finger, she’s running her hand through her hair because… wait for it…. she wants to LOOK GOOD in the photos!
(haha… I kill myself…)
He’s thinking “God, I hope she doesn’t taste the little bit of throw-up in my mouth when we kiss.”
classy!
Well, she sure as hell put the ‘ass’ in class… and bass, mass, pass, glass, really every word with a-s-s in it apparently.
Isn’t this guy a bit old to be marrying someone so hot?
Maybe that’s Salt Lake in the background…
fail
i don’t see the fail in a majestic whale passing through your wedding photo.
it’s a whale of a fail. (laughs out loud)
It’s the to provide shadow for the ceremony. Sun protection win.
Horizon line is not straight, double wedding photo fail…
What are you babbling on about?
“Mr/Mrs Photographer, we can’t use that photo because the horizon isn’t straight…”
Photographer: “Ok, we shall discard that one”
Photo bombing WIN!
Failblog FEAR!
Total photo bombing win!
Really? Is that the only fail? Or, isn’t there a WIN? like…Pedophilia WIN
Where’s Greenpeace when you need them??
Or the Japanese???
Uhhhh, Greenpeace is out in Japanese waters busting Japanese fishing vessels for illegal whaling.
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
*shudders*
Pass the brain bleach and the mental floss, please…
*hands over requested items*
You might want to use the extra strength stuff this time.
This is really a picture of the elusive Vacationus Manatteeii… You can see them in their natural habitat, along any american seaboard where there is plenty of sun, beer and buffett..
The male of the species tends to favor speedos. Further study is needed to find out why, but thus far, no one wants to do it.
Since never being close to extinction, the females are proliferating nicely thanks to conservation efforts and sponsors in part by: SaraLee, McDonalds, Reddi-Whip, Breyers, and Coors…
Don’t forget Pepsi and Frito-Lay. They have made *ahem* hefty contributions to the proliferation of the species.
As well as Coke, Hostess and Little Debbie.
I’m pretty sure the AB corporation has made sizable contributions as well. Their beer is EVERYWHERE!
Oh, here we go again.
And yet we managed NOT to go there.
Haha! I think they’re going to look at this photo later and laugh. How often does an accidental wedding photo like that happen? Hilarious. They can just photoshop the women out of the pic, so no harm.
It actually appears that they photoshopped her into it. Notice as dzh said that the horizon is not straight… could be there is a crease in the ocean, but more likely this has been clever splicing… but could be. I’m not going to go saying “PHOTOSHOPPED!!” unless I’m positive it has been, which I’m not.
I say not a fake. The horizon actually is straight (hold a straight edge up to the screen). It just looks off because of the camera angle.
Unfortunate timing WIN!
save the whales harpoon a fat chick
Save all womankind, harpoon Dehsart.
*sharpens her harpoon*
*assists Sara J*
::considers introduction of hisballs* to harpoon::
___
* (a.k.a. harballs)
::takes that into consideration::
::thinks it’s a spectacular idea::
; )
::agrees::
::high-fives::
::offers a laser sight for harpoon::
You’re not going to hit something that small without this.
Good point and thank you. I was wondering how we were going to do that. I was just going to use a really big harpoon and go for a general area.
::attaches laser sight to giant harpoon::
There, that ought to do it.
You might also need this 1000X scope.
You know…for accuracy.
::attaches scope::
Y’know, now that we have all this fancy stuff, our target is nowhere to be found. I guess I’ll have to find a new one. I have one in mind…..
Really??
*hopeful look*
I’m pretty sure we are thinking along the same lines. No names though. We learned about that yesterday.
YAY!
:: hands harpoon plus attachments to Dragon ::
Here, I have to leave for an hour or so. If you see a shot, take it. Remember you can always set the bolt on fire, for maximum damage.
Sry gals, seems I helped send some of this in a more pointed direction than was my aim. My introductory proposal was marital, not martial. Guess I should be more pacific bout what kinda herpoon I’d like to spoon.
*sees space age ‘poon packs tang*
(::but avoids spaceballs reference cuz i didn’t like that movie::)
Spaceballs might be worth revisiting, it’s actually a lot funnier than I initially thought.
What’s the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Wtf? You didn’t like Spaceballs?? You’re in trouble.
Okay
I may not be the skinniest chick around, but at least I dress appropriately.
I just threw up a little. *shudder*
LOL!
What if the moon-whalebeast is a “friend of the family” that didn’t get an invite?
“I’m so pissed, I think I’ll go walk through their wedding naked!”
La.. La… La.. La…
“OH! Uncle Larry! What are you doing here? Me? Oh I’m ALWAYS here with my top off.. Hey, is this a wedding your having…? Umm.. No, I didnt get the invite…”
she looks 14. he looks 30. Ickier than the boobed one in the back.
thanks god for that black line.
Wanting to gouge my own eyes out WIN…?
Talk about ruining a wedding picture… yuck. It should be against the law for fat people to go naked like that.
Uh.. In most places, I think that is legally indecent exposure..
Well since it is “legally indecent exposure” whats the problem?
It’s just not illegally decent enough.
“Dad, what’s that?”
“Why that’s Mercury, closest planet to the sun. What it’s doing down here I haven’t the foggiest. We should probably ask a scientist.”
OMG, is she also giving the finger? That lady rules.
Oops, sorry. Forgot to make a fat joke to mask my own self-hatred. I’ll get it next time, I swearz.
The WIN is strong with this one.
proof that having weddings in France is decision-making FAIL
ok, am i the only one who is also disturbed by the fact that the groom looks about thirty years older than the bride?
The bride looks awfully young.
Champagne! Champagne for EVERYBODY!
Finally, someone wants to party.
Anyone notice her(his?) sexy tattoo on her leg?
that’s the whale’s escorts leg.
Just one more reason not to get married!
What a beautiful wedding!
What a beautiful wedding says the bridesgroom to the waiter
Yes but what a shame
What a shame a fat lady came into the pictures.
My god.
Kevin.
I love you.
I don’t know what’s more disturbing: A topless femwhale or that the black bar is down by her navel.
They’re *not* naked. It’s pretty clear that it’s a topless beach, seeing as the woman is wearing a bikini bottom, and her companion is wearing shorts.
All of you fail at commenting about naked people.
Does she do bar/bat-mitzvahs as well?
Could be his ex-wife in the background
Don’t know if anyone else pointed this out, but…
Is it just me, or does that topless woman look like the God Warrior lady from “Wife Swap”?
I’m that fat *nods*….
Might want to lay off the cheetos…
Wow, didn’t know nipples could go that looooow… was there a limbo contest?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I like died when i sam this……………..not that anyone cares about the actual picture…………..
lol jajajaja the photos are forever
VOMIT WIN!!!
im205
She really failed with the tanninglotion this time.
Oh no, that poor couple! I guess that’s the risk you take when getting married on a public beach… and a topless one at that!
save the whale
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I’m just surprised this photo actually leaked out of from the photographer. you would think that he or she’d delete it long before it could make it anywhere. but perhaps it was one of the guests at the wedding who took this wedding photo.
as a montreal wedding photographer i would want to make sure this didn’t happen to me